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A Stranger on the Beach
He took her by the hand. “It gets wider in a few feet. Light comes in from a hole in the roof. It’s magical, you’ll see. You have to trust me.”
He let her go first, creeping along behind her. Within a few feet, the narrow entrance fed into a space the size of a small bedroom. Rough rock walls slanted up to a peaked ceiling, where the hole revealed a patch of sky. The light filtering through was delicate and shimmering, like the inside of a seashell. And it smelled like the ocean. Aidan took off his jacket and used it to sweep sand off a low, flat boulder.
“Your chair, my lady,” he said.
She hesitated, hanging back near the opening.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s okay, promise. Come here, I’ll protect you.”
She walked toward him, but stopped short of the rock, seeming so shy all of a sudden that she reminded him of the deer he’d seen this morning from her kitchen window, drinking from the swimming pool. Caroline’s house, on his grandfather’s land. It was a magic combination, and it was within his grasp. Like the woman herself. He reached out and put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, holding her eyes with his. She stopped resisting, and her body relaxed. Then he slid a hand between her legs and felt her up through her jeans until she moaned. He stood up, drew her closer, grazed her lips with his.
“I used to come here in high school,” he said, kissing her neck, her ear. She trembled in his arms.
“Matter of fact, I lost my virginity on this rock,” he said.
“Really? How old were you?”
“Fifteen. She was twenty-two. My boss at the Food Mart.”
“Another older woman? Seriously?”
“Yeah, she was married, too.”
“Wow.”
He looked into her eyes. “Is that weird? What was your first time like? Wait, let me guess. You were in college, and you ended up married to the guy?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because you’re such a rich girl.”
“I’m a nice girl.”
He laughed. “Not if you’re hanging out with me, you’re not.”
He kissed the freckles on the bridge of her nose. Those freckles were like a promise. That she was the girl next door. That she could be his. Then he kissed her again and knew it was true.
16
Waves crashed on the sand. Gulls spiraled overhead, their shrill cries making the empty beach feel desolate. Nobody knew where I was, except for Aidan. My daughter, my sister—they believed I was safe at home. My faithless husband, if he bothered to think of me at all, wouldn’t know to worry. These things occurred to me as I hesitated at the entrance to the cave. Where had Aidan gone? Was he inside there? I needed my car keys. I stepped forward to take a closer look. Suddenly he was behind me, and I jumped. He’d walked around the boulder and snuck up behind me like an immature kid.
“What the hell, Aidan.”
“Go in,” he said, looming over me.
“What? No.”
“I said, get in there,” he said, and gave me a shove.
My stomach flipped as he pushed me through the narrow entrance into a larger, wider space. It was dank and claustrophobic, with dripping rock walls as thick as the cliff itself. He guided me toward a low rock that was covered with sand, the ground around it strewn with cigarette butts and used condoms.
“What the hell are you doing?” I said, my voice quavering.
“I didn’t want you to miss this place.”
“So you shoved me?”
“I wanted you to see. Magic, isn’t it?”
“It’s—dirty,” I said.
Aidan’s face tightened.
“Not fancy enough for you, princess?”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
I knew what he was after. But I was put off by him now, even anxious about what he might do. I didn’t want sex. What I wanted was to tell him this was over. That it had been a wonderful distraction, but now it needed to end so we could go back to our real lives. The trouble was—crazy as it sounds, since I was a forty-three-year-old housewife, and Aidan was a gorgeous young guy—I was convinced he’d take it badly. You’d think it would be the other way around. That I’d be the one to get overly attached after a one-night stand. But I hadn’t, and it was beginning to seem like he had. We were alone in a cave on a deserted beach. Aidan stood between me and the exit. Making him upset in this confined space was not a smart idea. I floundered around for an excuse.
“I’m—I’m claustrophobic,” I said. “I’ll have an anxiety attack if I stay here.”
He came up to me, took me by the shoulders, and looked down into my eyes.
“Nothing bad will happen to you while I’m around. Promise. I won’t let it, okay? Come sit down.”
He took off his jacket and brushed sand from the big rock, then kicked some of the detritus that surrounded the rock into the corner. I’d made it clear that I wanted to go. It was beginning to worry me that he wouldn’t listen. While his back was turned, I edged toward the exit.
“I’m nervous in here, Aidan. Can we go, please?”
“Give it a chance.”
“You showed me the place, now I need to leave. I’ve been telling you all morning I have things to do.”
His face fell. “You’re mad at me. What did I do wrong?”
“I’m—I’m stressed, okay? My life is a mess. I don’t have time for this right now.”
I moved toward the exit. He blocked me.
“Let me take your mind off it.”
“That only works for so long.”
“It’ll work again. I promise.”
He kissed me on the mouth. I didn’t kiss back. His teeth ground against my lips as he pushed me backward toward the rock. My legs hit it, and I sat down hard. I felt the rock, rough and cold, through my jeans. Aidan sat beside me and started groping, his hands rough on my body, my breasts.
“I want you so much,” he whispered, his breath hot against my neck.
He reached for the buttons of my shirt. I pushed his hands away.
“Aidan, no. Stop it.”
He pulled back momentarily. His expression had changed again, this time to fury. His face was red, his mouth screwed up like he wanted to spit.
“What’s the problem? I was good enough for you last night.”
He grabbed my hand and pressed it to the bulge in his pants. I pulled away.
“I said no.”
“You don’t mean it.”
We wrestled. He was bigger and stronger. My heart beat wildly. Before I could get up and run, he’d unzipped. His hands tugged at the waist of my jeans. He pulled me under him, stood above me, yanked his jeans down to his knees. There was no point in screaming. The rock walls were too thick, the wind and the surf too loud on the beach. If I yelled, or fought, or resisted in any way, I’d only make him angrier. I couldn’t predict how he’d react, because I barely knew him, but he might hurt me. The Catholic girl inside my head, the one my mother had raised to feel responsible when men misbehaved, was saying, What the hell did you expect? He’s not gonna to take no for an answer when you already told him yes.
I was about to give in when I heard a noise. Above the sound of Aidan’s rushed breathing, there was a scrambling, a dislodging of pebbles near the cave entrance that attracted my attention. Aidan jumped off me, pulling up his pants. The two surfer dudes we’d seen before out on the water stood there in dripping wet suits, staring at us.
17
When the surfers barged in, I saw my chance. Gathering my clothes around me, I pushed past them out of the cave. Outside, I gulped the salty air in relief, but the feeling only lasted a second. The tide had come roaring in. Waves pounded the rock cliff, completely obscuring the narrow strip of sand that Aidan and I had crossed twenty minutes earlier. If I tried to make it to the other side of the beach now, I’d be swept out to sea. Before I could figure out what to do, Aidan hurtled out of the cave after me, buttoning his shirt as he came. The surfers had stayed behind in the cave, and he was by himself, which meant I was alone with him again. As he approached, I took a step back toward the crashing surf, my heart pounding.
“Hey, babe, I’m really sorry,” he said. “I never thought we’d get interrupted in there. I know that was embarrassing. Are you okay?”
Aidan smiled—a gentle, laid-back smile that said he was the nicest guy in the world. I might have believed it, if he hadn’t tried to assault me in there. He was acting like nothing was wrong. I wanted to find my car and get the hell away from this place. And from him. But how could I, when the escape route was blocked?
He caught my nervous glance at the waves.
“No worries,” Aidan said. “Tide comes in on the regular. There’s another path to the parking lot, c’mon.”
He tried to grab my hand, but I dodged him. He gave me a funny look, then squinted up at the thick, black clouds.
“If you don’t want to get soaked, you’d better come along,” he said. “Sky’s about to open.”
He knew what he was talking about. As I watched him walk away, fat drops of icy rain began to fall, making plopping sounds in the sand. The chill came up through my shoes immediately. The damp penetrated my light jacket, and I started to shiver. Aidan sped up, throwing a last glance over his shoulder to see if I would follow. I didn’t want to. But I got worried that he’d take his secret shortcut to the parking lot and drive away with my car, leaving me stranded on this desolate beach in a storm. I walked after him, breaking into a jog as the rain fell harder. Water streamed into my eyes as he disappeared into a narrow break in the rocks. By the time I got there, he was gone. The steep, sandy trail twisted upward between rock walls. Behind me, the rain pounded, and the surf was wild. I stepped onto the path and began climbing. By the time I made it to the parking lot, my dripping hair plastered to my head and my lungs burning, Aidan was in the driver’s seat of my car, with the engine running and the wipers going. I sank into the passenger seat, grateful for the blasting heater.
I was praying we’d go to the restaurant now, and that would be that. But he drove me to his apartment instead. Aidan lived at the Sea Breeze Cottages. The name was a lie. There were no cottages, only a long, low apartment building with a crumbling parking lot, painted a dull tan that looked dirty in the rain. And for a sea breeze, you’d have to use your imagination, since we were miles from the beach. I remembered places like this from my Long Island girlhood. Once upon a time, my friends lived in them. I’d worked hard to avoid that fate, and I had no intention of looking back.
There were ten apartments, each with a small concrete stoop, a metal door, and a parking space in front. Aidan pulled into a parking space in the middle of the complex.
“Come inside, I’ll make us some coffee,” he said.
My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket, giving me an excuse to stall. I pulled it out to see a text from Hannah lighting up the screen, all in caps.
WTF MOM DAD TOLD ME YOU’RE SPLITTING??
I hadn’t spoken to my daughter in two days. I’d been putting off breaking the awful news about the divorce. It never occurred to me that Jason would tell her first. He hadn’t been returning my calls, so I assumed he wasn’t talking to Hannah either. But they always talked. I should realize that. They were closer to each other than either one of them was to me.
Aidan frowned. “Who’s it from?” he said, and I heard jealousy in his tone.
“My daughter.”
“You have a daughter? Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
“It didn’t come up.”
“That’s a pretty big thing to leave out. Don’t you think I’m entitled to know?”
Entitled? My jaw dropped. I was tempted to utter a few choice words, but doing that would only delay the moment where Aidan got out of my car, and out of my life.
“It’s hardly like we’ve told each other our life stories,” I said. “I need to call her back.”
“How old is she? Does she live with you? What’s her name?”
The prospect of discussing Hannah with Aidan made me nervous. It had been a mistake to mention her at all. Aidan had threatened Jason, in so many words. I didn’t know him well enough to know whether to take the threat seriously. But I didn’t trust him, and I certainly wasn’t about to give him details about my daughter. I wanted my car keys and then I wanted Aidan out of my life. But he wasn’t going easily. He stared at me with arms crossed, waiting for an answer.
“Aidan. I need to speak to my daughter, and I’d like some privacy. Please.”
The “please” seemed to help.
“All right,” he said, grudgingly.
He stepped out into the rain, then stuck his head back in the car.
“Come inside when you’re done.” He slammed the door.
He’d taken my car keys again, of course. As the rain pounded the windshield, I dropped my head into my hands wearily. I was sick of this game and annoyed at myself. I’d dodged a bullet. If the surfers hadn’t stumbled into the cave when they did, Aidan would likely have forced himself on me. He could try that again if we were alone in his apartment. But my keys—I had to get them back. I could call the cops. I didn’t want to; it would be embarrassing for both of us. But he wasn’t leaving me much choice.
I opened my phone, contemplating whether to call 911. Then I remembered. The police would never help me. Aidan’s brother was the chief. It was my own fault for getting involved with a complete stranger. I wanted to scream. But the phone rang in my hands, startling me into dropping it and catching it again. It was Hannah.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said. “I was about to call you.”
I heard soft snuffling on the other end of the line, and my stomach dropped.
“Oh, baby,” I said. “Hannah. Honey, please, don’t cry.”
“Mom? How could you do this?”
I paused. Was she taking Jason’s side, when he was the one who cheated?
“Me? What did I do?” I asked.
“How could you not tell me, Mom?” she said, her voice rising in grief.
“Oh. Well, I was working up to telling you.”
“If you guys split, it’s like my whole life was a lie.”
“This has nothing to do with you. It’s about Dad and me.”
“Were you purposely staying together until I left home? That makes me feel lied to.”
“No. Nothing like that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were having problems?”
“I didn’t know, until the party.”
“You were going to let him leave the country, and not even tell me?”
“Leave the country? What are you talking about?”
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