Maybe Baby: One Small Miracle

He couldn’t answer. She was messy, she was adorable, she was Anna and he was starving for her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, deep and drugging, before she could say a word. He wasn’t giving her a chance to say no. He had to touch her, imprint her taste on him again. A streak ran through him, a brilliant connection of synapses to senses to skin, and he was alive for the first time in weeks.

He heard her tiny moan, the soft sound of surrender to the passion that flared between them so easily, as her hands touched his chest. Then she pushed him away. ‘Stop it. That’s not why I asked you to come.’ Then her cheeks became suffused with colour as Bill strode up the path, his face filled with inflexible duty. ‘Why is Bill here?’ she whispered.

He barely heard her first words. My Golden Girl, he thought, with a shot of exultation. She always has to be a lady. Even mucking out a stall in grubby overalls or breaking in a young colt, riding with dirty, bare feet, she wouldn’t kiss him if anyone was around.

‘To give me about twenty tickets,’ he muttered, feeling like the most stupid jerk in the Kimberley region. Remembering too late how much she hated public displays of any kind.

Bill caught up to him at last. ‘Jared West, you’re under arrest for the violation of at least seventeen laws, including speeding, resisting arrest—’

Jared’s agonised glance at Anna shocked him. She showed neither embarrassment nor exasperation now, but wide-eyed terror. ‘Get rid of him.’ She hauled him close to whisper in his ear as Bill read him his rights. ‘Please, Jared.’ She sounded frantic. ‘He’ll ruin everything!’

He didn’t have time to question it. Anna had few wants, and had never begged him for anything before, ever. This weird request had to be really important. So he put out his wrists. ‘Take me.’ As Bill put the cuffs on him, he swivelled his head to face her. ‘I’ll be back.’

‘Not tonight, you won’t,’ Bill said in grim promise, and led him away. ‘Anna, you know where to come to bail him out in the morning. If you decide you want to.’

Watching her as he stumbled after Bill, Jared saw her cheeks drain to white. ‘Jared, I—I’m sorry,’ she called. ‘I can’t bail you just yet. I’ll come tomorrow.’

He felt his brows lift. Whatever Bill thought, he’d assumed that, since he’d just become a felon for her sake, she’d follow and pay the bail.

Something was definitely weird here and, whatever it was, he’d discover it soon enough … after he’d spent the night in the slammer.

CHAPTER TWO

Broome Police Station, next morning

‘YOU know I wouldn’t cheat you. It’s all there. I’m kind of in a hurry, Bill. Can I take my husband home now, please?’

From the holding cell, sitting on the thin mattress on a squeaky metal base that passed for a bed, Jared felt his brows lift. He didn’t care why she wanted him out so fast after leaving him here all night, and not coming in until eleven in the morning. He’d slept on the ground during muster too many times to care about an almost-dead mattress in the local lock-up. But he was going to find out why his conservative wife had been so desperate to get rid of Bill yesterday, why she’d taken his arrest without a blink.

‘You’re sure you want to?’ Bill asked, low, with a strangely intimate note, man to woman—and Jared clenched his fists.

‘I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure. Please, can you let him out now?’

Too slowly for Jared’s taste, Bill unlocked the cell. The young cop nodded back toward Anna, with a meaning frown. ‘She’s a real lady,’ he said quietly. ‘You’re lucky she’s here at all after your stupid stunts yesterday. She deserves better than that. You need to stop taking tomfool chances with your life. Take better care of her, Jared. She’s … special.’

Defensive, possessive, he was about to retort, I always take care of her—then he remembered the one incident of deadly neglect of his wife he’d never forgive himself for; knew everyone in the Kimberleys knew of it. Then he wondered what would have happened to her if he’d killed himself in his speeding efforts yesterday … and he remembered how Bill, a young, good-looking single guy sent out here after academy eight years ago, had been looking at Anna yesterday and this morning, counting the cash slowly and making conversation.

And he remembered how long she’d been alone.

Back off, jerk. She’s mine. He felt his fists curl over … and he saw Bill noticing. The cop’s chin lifted with a little smile, as if begging for him to start, to toss the first punch.

He wasn’t giving Bill any further advantage by acting stupid. He gave a nod and pushed past the cop, striding over to where Anna waited. She was neatly dressed now in long creamy shorts and a pink tank top, her hair loose and falling straight to her shoulder blades, and so subtly sensual, so fresh and elfin-pretty, he had to fight against hauling her into his arms in a display of primal possession.

Instead he gave her the slow half-smile she’d never been able to resist. It was time to start playing smart. And for a single moment she looked at him as if he was her salvation.

He thought, Mission accomplished, she’s coming home—but then he saw her fingers twisting around each other in subtle anxiety. ‘Oh, please hurry. We have to get back now.’

He still had to sign the form that said he’d show up to court at a set date, and collect his things—Bill had taken his watch and wedding ring as scrupulously as if he’d been a real criminal—and by then Anna was twitching her toes, lacing and unlacing her fingers.

She all but dragged him out of the police station, with a rushed, polite ‘Bye, Bill’ that told Jared the attraction was one-sided—and that shot of triumphant, primal masculine ownership streaked through him again. At least that was one worry to tick off his list. He was another step closer to bringing her home. She was finally feeling again. She’d crawled out of that black hole of despair she’d fallen into. And once she was home, he could tell her the plans he’d made for their family, make her smile and laugh again.

They’d reached the car, and she jumped into the driver’s seat with a fierce look that dared him to argue. ‘We have to get back right now. The train goes in an hour and—’

‘What train? What’s going on, Anna?’ he growled. If she thought she was leaving—

She talked right over him. ‘We need to make sure she gets on the train—Rosie, my friend Rosie Foster. She needs our help, Jared—both of us.’

‘Who’s Rosie Foster, and what does she want with me?’ What do you want with me?

‘I told you, she’s my friend, and she needs help.’

‘Why me? Why now?’ The curiosity gnawed at him. ‘You didn’t want to know me a few days ago when I called, and now you’ll do anything for me—except bail me out last night,’ he added, angling for a laugh from her, or even a smile. She seemed so anxious.

She kept driving without looking at him. Her whole focus was on the road. ‘Just wait until we’re at my place. Then you’ll see.’

No adorable, naughty smile. No soft voice filled with yearning. She was barely listening to him, and hadn’t touched him since dragging him out to the car, which barely qualified. And now, hours too late, he heard the words she’d said yesterday when he’d kissed her.

That’s not why I asked you to come.

Whatever she wanted him for, it didn’t seem to be about coming back to him.

Failure wasn’t an option, now she’d called at last. She was coming home. She’d forgotten how much she loved their home, how much she needed and loved him—but he’d remind her.

Forcing a semblance of calm, Jared sat back and waited. For the first time in their twelve-year relationship he had to allow Anna to take the driver’s seat. He’d let her keep control for now, until he knew who this Rosie was, what she needed—and what the real story was here.

He’d formulate a plan in the interim. Whatever waited for them at her house, he’d use it to his advantage. He’d make her come home, and then, no matter what it took, no matter the cost, he’d win her back to him. She’d adored him once; she’d loved their life on Jarndirri as much as he had. He’d resurrect both those loves, and take his life back.

He’d make it happen.

Anna’s hands were shaking with worry by the time she opened the door—Rosie was terrified about the step she needed to take, and the possible repercussions—but the quiet within the house reassured her. Rosie must have taken a nap, as well.

She drew in a breath of relief, and moved aside to let Jared in. ‘Come in and sit down. I’ll put the kettle on and make coffee in a minute.’ She ran into her bedroom to check on the baby.

In the middle of the big queen bed, surrounded by every chair in the house, carefully wrapped in a blanket, Melanie lay sleeping peacefully in the bassinette Rosie had brought. Melanie’s cheeks were flushed pretty pink in the humidity; her fingers were curled around her nose as she sucked her thumb. Her bare toes twitched.

Anna’s heart filled with relief, and overflowed with joy. She couldn’t resist … She crept over to the bed and whisper-caressed the pudgy cheek, warm and pretty pink. ‘Hello, beautiful girl, I’m back,’ she murmured. ‘Did you wear your poor mummy out?’ The word jerked in her heart. Such a beautiful word, mummy, so taken for granted.

‘What the hell …?’

The explosive words from the doorway made the baby start, and give a tiny wail. She sounded tired, querulous. ‘Be quiet,’ Anna whispered frantically, soothing the baby with gentle touches. ‘She’s only been asleep an hour.’

After a moment’s protest, Melanie’s eyes closed, her thumb went farther into her mouth and she drifted back to dreamland.

White-faced and dark-eyed, like a cloud filled with unleashed thunder, Jared barked from the doorway, ‘Whose baby is that? Where did you …?’

The kettle began whistling. Frantic to keep the place quiet for the baby, she shoved at his chest and pushed him right out the door, and closed it silently behind her. ‘Get into the kitchen, now.’

The menace was about to unleash. He stalked to the tiny, functional room, and pulled the kettle from the gas. When he turned to her, his face was even paler, his stormy eyes almost as black as the turbulent clouds outside. ‘Anna, tell me what that baby’s doing in your bed and who it belongs to.’

‘Not it, she,’ Anna corrected, pulling the coffee down from the cupboard with unsteady hands. She couldn’t face him as she spooned grounds into the plunger.

If anything, his voice grew darker at her correction. ‘Is this the Rosie you talked about? If so, you’re insane. You can’t put a kid that age on a train.’

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. ‘I might not know much, but I know that, Jared. Her name’s Melanie. Rosie’s her mother.’

‘Okay, she,’ he amended, still grim. ‘Where is this Rosie, who is she, and why is her kid here?’

‘We don’t have time for this,’ she said, pulling out mugs as an excuse to keep her eyes averted. ‘We have to get Rosie on the train, and take Melanie to Jarndirri—’

Jared interrupted, with ruthless ice. ‘I’m not doing a thing but going straight back to Bill to contact Child Services unless I find out exactly what’s going on here.’

She felt the blood drain from her cheeks. ‘You can’t do that!’

‘Watch me,’ he said grimly, with a suspicion she’d never heard from Jared in all the years they’d known each other. ‘I don’t know what’s going on here, but I doubt it’s legal.’

Her mind blanked out. ‘I … um, it’s not illegal.’

He grabbed her arm, swung her around to him. His face was right in front of hers, his eyes blazing in disbelief. ‘Dear God, Anna, did you kidnap that baby? Are you so desperate for a child you’d steal someone else’s? Why didn’t you talk to me? If I’d known—I have a solution for us—’

She felt the colour drain from her face at the questions she’d never thought he’d ask. ‘How could you even think I’d—I’d do that …’ she couldn’t bring herself to say the word ‘kidnap’ ‘… knowing how I’ve been since we lost Adam? Do you think I could put another set of parents through the loss we endured?’ She said it almost as indignantly as if he hadn’t read her mind every time she’d seen a little boy or girl Adam’s age in the past few months and put an unerring finger on the pulse of her secret shame. Because, oh, if she could get away with it … to hold a precious baby in her arms, to have chubby arms around her neck, to watch it grow, and hear it calling her Mummy.

He sighed and released her arms. ‘Thank God,’ he muttered, wiping at his brow. She saw the beads of sweat there, and she knew it hadn’t been caused by the heat.

‘You honestly think I could be capable of such an act?’ she shot at him, but her voice wobbled. Guilt, shame, passion, craving, loneliness …

Why couldn’t I just say yes to Rosie’s impassioned proposal of last night? If I had, right now I’d have all I’d ever dreamed of.

‘After a night in the slammer, and you desperate to get rid of Bill, it wasn’t a big leap in logic once I saw the kid.’ He paced over to the back door and opened it, breathing in a silence of relief, fear released. ‘So whose baby is she?’

She gulped down the pain; her hands fluttered up. ‘I told you, she’s Rosie’s child—and she needs our help for a few weeks.’

‘Right, got it. So where is this mysterious Rosie?’ he queried dryly. ‘And who is she?’

‘Rosie Foster. You remember her, Maggie Foster’s girl? She grew up here, but left for university two or three years back.’ Anna sighed when he shrugged; she was sure he did know, because everyone knew everyone else here. The Kimberleys might be bigger than France, but had a population about the size of Liechtenstein. ‘She’s asleep in the spare room, I guess, or packing. She’s heading to Perth today. I—She’s got postnatal depression, and nobody to turn to. We’ve become good friends in the past few months. She asked me to take Melanie for a few weeks while she gets help.’

Jared frowned again. ‘Hang on. That makes no sense. Those places take the mother and child. Why isn’t she taking the kid with her?’

‘Melanie. Her name is Melanie,’ Anna repeated with icy patience, but Jared merely shrugged, waiting for her to answer. ‘Look, we can talk about this in the plane to Jarndirri, and, first, Rosie needs to get to the station. There’s just one train going to Perth this week, and it leaves today.’

‘No,’ he replied, with a quiet inflexibility that told her this wasn’t up for negotiation. He wasn’t taking her anywhere until he had the details. ‘That kid is not coming to Jarndirri. I’m already facing court for your sake, Anna. I won’t be an accessory to kidnapping a child—and in the eyes of the law, that’s what taking her to Jarndirri would be. Taking her one step out of this house without calling the cops means serious prison time—and it looks to me like Bill would love any excuse to lock me away, at least,’ he added with a penetrating look.

Anna felt herself flushing, feeling almost as guilty as if she’d accepted any of Bill’s many offers to have dinner, coffee or watch a DVD together. ‘I didn’t ask you to break any laws in getting here,’ she snapped, exasperated and uncomfortably aware that her pleading tone over the phone had been its own request to a take-charge kind of man like Jared. ‘I haven’t broken any laws either. Taking Melanie to Jarndirri in no way constitutes … abduction. We have the mother’s written permission to look after her for a few weeks.’

‘Will you just tell me how the kid got here?’ He spoke with a frown, with an exaggerated kind of patience that made her flush—and stop beating around the bush. She answered him in a crisp, cool voice that hid her defensiveness.

‘Rosie came to me last night. She’s been struggling to cope since she had the baby. But she’s just been diagnosed with postnatal depression. She wants me to mind Melanie for a few weeks while she gets help.’

‘Hasn’t she got any family?’ Now the tone was leashed; she felt the impatience straining from him. Wanting to know why—and what it had to do with him—but he must have picked up on her reluctance to tell the story all at once. Felt her longing to run, hard and fast, at the same time she yearned to look after a baby, even if it would never be her own.

‘Her ex-boyfriend disappeared when she began showing, told her he had a wife and kids he’d already left. He didn’t like being a father. He’d hooked up with her because she was a medical student, and wouldn’t want kids for years. And her mother—remember Maggie?’ she repeated with emphasis.

‘Yes. What about her?’

Anna gritted her teeth, hearing that exaggerated patience again, the reluctance in listening, wanting her to get to the point. To Jared a story was just a vehicle to him finding the solution, and drawing it out with unnecessary hesitation or embellishment was useless.

Just as well I didn’t want to become a writer, she thought wryly, before she answered. ‘Rosie doesn’t remember her father, and you know how Maggie was so intensely proud of Rosie being at university and becoming a doctor. She hates that Rosie chose to give up her medical studies and come home to have the baby. She threw her out and though she only lives an hour from here, she hasn’t even seen Melanie. If Rosie leaves Melanie with Maggie, she’s afraid the mother will use her depression as an excuse to get Child Services involved, or try to put the baby up for adoption.’

‘Nice woman,’ was his only comment, with a world of dryness. Hiding what they were both thinking. Some people would give anything to have a beautiful, healthy baby, and she only sees it as a hindrance.

‘The train leaves in forty minutes. I need to wake Rosie right now if she’s going to make it. The point is, Rosie wants me to take the baby to Jarndirri for the few weeks she’s gone—away from her mother’s influence, and interference by the ex if he knew,’ she said in a rush. ‘We don’t have much time. Will you do it?’

He looked at her for a long time, and Anna wanted to squirm. After all these months of him coming here, demanding she return home or seducing her into it, she’d thought—hoped—

‘Go wake her. I’ll meet her and make up my mind,’ was all he said. His face was expressionless as always, and she wished for the hundredth time that she could see or feel anything from him—anything at all. That he could actually talk to her and say anything so she’d know this enigma she’d lived beside for half her life, the husband she still didn’t know.

Squelching the hurt for the hundredth time, she turned and walked to the spare room.

And she ran back into the kitchen a minute later, panting, ‘She’s gone. Everything’s gone!’

‘What?’

‘She’s done a runner,’ Anna said helplessly. ‘She’s left the baby, given her to me.’

CHAPTER THREE

‘SHE’S left the baby to me,’ Anna repeated, hearing the dazed note in her voice—but it didn’t sound as completely poleaxed as she felt right now. She’s left the baby to me …

Jared stared, slowly blinked, frowned and then shook his head. ‘No way. That only happens in movies and novels.’

‘Well, it’s happened to me now.’ Not knowing what to think, still lost in the shock of it all, she thrust the letter she’d found lying on the spare bed at him. ‘And it’s happened to you, too.’

He opened the note, and, unable to believe it still, Anna followed each word from behind his shoulder.

I’m so sorry, Anna, Mr West. I can’t do this anymore—I have to stop fooling myself. When you left to get Mr West, Anna, I knew it was my fault Mr West was in trouble. I knew I’d brought trouble on you both. Then I looked at Melanie, and knew I’d only screw up her life, too. I want to finish university, become a doctor. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I’m only twenty. I’m not qualified for anything, and I don’t even have a settled home. I can’t give Melanie the life she deserves, and I want to be free to follow my dreams.

I’m going to get help for the depression, and if I still feel the same way when I’m better, I’m applying to return to university next semester. I’ll contact you again in a month. Please don’t call Child Services or the police, not yet. I’m asking you to take my little girl somewhere safe for a few weeks while I get help. I don’t want my mother to get rid of her or give her to strangers. Melanie loves you already, Anna. Jarndirri would be a wonderful place for her to grow up. Will you take care of my little girl?

PS: I’ll stay until I hear your car return, and know Melanie’s safe. Tell her that her mummy really loves her.

Anna saw the wetness of tears fallen over the PS, and closed her eyes.

‘It’s unsigned,’ was all he said after a long silence in which Anna could hear her heart beating, feel the blood pounding in her throat and wrists.

Lost in the emotion of the note, the soul-deep loss she could so readily identify with, Anna tilted her head. ‘So?’

He didn’t answer, but the frown between his brows was so deep it made a grooved V. ‘We should call Tom Hereford, get his legal opinion, before we do anything.’

Fighting the rising of panic like water from a burst dam, she nodded. She took the phone from its cradle and thrust it at him. She couldn’t speak coherently to Tom, Jarndirri’s lawyer, if her life depended on it.

Jared punched in the number, got through to Tom in moments—an account like Jarndirri was too lucrative to lose—and told the lawyer everything, while Anna shifted from foot to foot and dug crescents in her palms with her nails.

‘Okay, Tom, thanks for that. Yes, be in touch soon. Goodbye.’

He turned to her, his eyes flat. ‘In Tom’s opinion, chances are that, with the mother’s permission to take Melanie, we’d have the upper hand over anything Maggie claims, since she can’t prove she’s cared for the child in any way. But he said get to Jarndirri as quickly and quietly as we can. He said he’d never want to go up against Maggie Foster. Apparently she sued Rosie’s father when he left, for all he was worth, and fought until the man was bankrupted. But in the eyes of the law, either with or without a signature, Rosie is Melanie’s mother. Her wishes, in writing, will be seen as legal and binding, since she named us both. But our case is only strong as long as they believe we’re together.’

Though she knew he was telling the truth, she felt her teeth grind together. Her nod felt curt, graceless, even though this was why she’d called him.

‘They’re not going to believe a pretty show, Anna. They’d have to have compelling evidence that we’ve reunited—and not just for the baby’s sake. If Maggie finds out we have her and decides she wants her grandchild, she’d have a stronger claim than ours. And she’d go down fighting all the way.’

‘I know,’ she muttered.

‘So what I’m asking you is—is this what you want? What you really want? Is this going to be worth the fighting—maybe years of fighting—to have her?’

Unable to hold back, she heard words tumbling from her mouth she’d give almost anything to keep to herself. ‘This isn’t about me—it’s about a tiny baby and what she needs. But you know what I want—what I’ve always wanted. I want a baby—my baby—but you know I can never have that now. But I love Melanie.’ What a pathetic understatement! Amid the pain of loss, oh, the joy and solace that beautiful baby’s satin skin and drooling smile had given her in the past few months! That Rosie had needed her—that Melanie had needed her rather than Anna being the grieving, needing one—had been her saving grace, her road back to life when she’d begun losing it. ‘I—I do want her,’ she admitted quietly, giving up.

His gaze, when he lifted it to hers, held the cold distance he always showed when she’d displeased him. It left her shivering inside. ‘This is the reason you wanted to see me, Anna? The only reason?’