Her Christmas Family Wish

“Hey, cut that out. Wyatt’s a nice guy, but he’s nothing to you,” she reminded herself.

“What did you say, Mommy?” Gracie poked her head out from the book she’d been trying to read. A book about daddies, of course.

“Oh, just talking to myself, honey.” Ellie gave herself a stern, though silent lecture about controlling her interest in the vet. Since the day they’d met Wyatt in the grocery store she’d repeatedly told her daughter that he could not be her father.

Well, neither can he be anyone special to you, Ellie Grant. But still, here you are driving onto his ranch on the faintest of pretexts...

“Is this where my new daddy lives?”

Her heart sinking, Ellie began, “Gracie, I’ve told you—”

“Look! Dogs, Mommy. Lots and lots of dogs.” If there was one thing Gracie wanted almost as badly as she wanted a daddy, it was a dog. She clapped her hands in delight as Ellie parked near the house and several animals swarmed around the car, yapping excitedly.

“Don’t open your door,” she cautioned her daughter. “They might not be friendly. Wait.”

When no one appeared, she tapped the horn. A moment later Wyatt poked his head around the corner of a dilapidated structure that might once have been a barn. He waved, disappeared for a moment, then began walking slowly toward them with Cade clinging to one hand, toddling along. As they came nearer, he gathered up the boy and shooed most of the dogs into a pen before shoving in a wooden stick to hold the loosened gate closed. But he left an adult German shepherd and a small puppy out. The shepherd went to lie down under a tree, but the puppy followed on Wyatt’s heels to Ellie’s car.

“Hey,” he said when she rolled down her window. A question feathered across his face, but all he said was, “Welcome.”

“Thanks.” Seeing Gracie already had the door open and was exiting the car, Ellie followed her. “I’m sure you’re busy, so I won’t hold you up.”

“No, it’s good you came. I didn’t realize the dogs had gotten out of the pen. That Irish setter is like a Houdini at escaping.” He shook his head ruefully. “It’s a good thing they’re wearing collars for the electric fence.”

“I think Gracie’s already in love with this little one.” Ellie smiled as a whirl of brown puppy raced circles around the little girl’s sneakers, to her delight.

“Puppies. Their energy makes me feel old.” Wyatt shook his head as the dog continued chasing his tail. “I was about to take a break. Want to join me for coffee?” He shifted Cade, who was sniffing and crying, to his other hip.

“Thank you. Oh, and I’m returning this.” She lifted Cade’s newly laundered blanket from the rear seat and held it out. “You left it behind yesterday.”

He took the blanket, then shot her a confused look. “He has more than one blanket, Ellie. You didn’t have to make a special trip. But thank you.”

“I thought it might be his special blankie. Gracie would bawl for hours whenever hers went missing.” Cade yelped and held out his arms to Ellie, jerking to be free of his father’s hold. “He remembers me,” she said with a chuckle, inordinately pleased. “May I take him?”

“Sure.” Wyatt handed over his son, then led the way into his adobe ranch house.

“I see he’s got a cold,” she said. “They’re the worst in little kids, aren’t they?”

“Nope. They’re the worst for adults. He was up most of last night with a fever.” Wyatt shook his head. “He can’t seem to settle much, poor little guy.” He touched Cade’s forehead. “Still cool.”

“That’s what we want. You have a lovely home.” Ellie glanced around, trying not to appear too nosey but surprised at how show-homey it was beginning to look, even though parts were under construction. “The light is spectacular in here.”

And everything is so perfectly planned, as if a professional designed this open concept layout.

“Thanks. One of the ladies from church asked to sit Cade last week. That’s when I installed those French doors. They make a big difference.”

Wyatt tossed his Stetson on a peg by the door, set the coffee brewer going, then glanced at Gracie who had flopped down on the floor and was cuddling the puppy she’d carried inside. “That’s Mr. Fudge.” He hunkered down beside her to scratch the dog’s ears. “He’s a chocolate lab.”

“I like chocolate lots,” Gracie told him. “But I really love dogs, ’specially baby dogs.” She bent her head so her face was snuggled against Mr. Fudge’s fur. “Mommy, can I have Mr. Fudge for my birthday?”

Ellie blushed as she remembered Gracie’s request for a certain birthday gift of a daddy. But as she sat with Cade perched on her knee, her attention was diverted when the boy grabbed her beaded necklace and began chattering to himself in an unknown language. It felt so good to hold him, as right as it had yesterday.

Ellie knew that somehow she would have to rid herself of the yearning to cuddle another baby just as she needed to shed her lifelong dream to cherish a big family. Because it wasn’t going to happen. So she tightened her grip on the little boy, determined to enjoy it while she could.

“Can I have this dog, Mommy?” Gracie pleaded. She lifted the squirming bundle in her arms and struggled to her feet, carrying the dog so Ellie could have a closer inspection. “See? Isn’t he sweet?”

“He’s very sweet, honey.” Ellie touched her fingertips to the dog’s ear, marveling at the silky skin. Aware of Wyatt’s scrutiny she shook her head. “But I’m sorry, we can’t get a dog. They don’t allow them in the city complex where we live.”

It was so hard to refuse her sweet daughter something as simple as a puppy. At Gracie’s age Ellie’s parents had given her a puppy of her own to cherish. If only...

Thankfully Wyatt intervened.

“I’m sorry, Gracie, but Mr. Fudge belongs to someone else. He’s just here for a visit.” He touched her bright head as he smiled. “His owners are coming to get him tomorrow morning.”

“Well, I’m gonna pray we have to move into a new house so I can get a dog just like Mr. Fudge,” Gracie announced. After shooting a stubborn look at Ellie she flopped down onto the floor and continued to play with the pup.

“Here, let me put Cade in his high chair.” Wyatt scooped the little boy who’d begun to fuss from her arms.

“Oh, but I can hold—” Ellie’s protest died with Wyatt’s laughter.

“Believe me, you don’t want to hold Cade when he’s eating a cookie.” He tied a bib around the boy and handed him a treat. “He makes a horrible mess.”

I wouldn’t mind. Ellie didn’t say that. Instead she smiled politely, accepted the cup of coffee and the chocolate cookies he offered.

“All the dogs—your clinic is here at the ranch?” she asked.

“Yes, but mostly I just board animals here and go out to the calls.” Wyatt shrugged. “I give shots here, if they’re due. It keeps my name out there for prospective clients.”

“So, out there, by the barn—” Ellie suddenly caught on. “You were working?”

“Trying to do a few much-needed repairs.” Wyatt took two cookies for himself and bit into one. “Today wasn’t optimum with Cade feeling off.”

“How can you work with him nearby?” she blurted, unable to stop the question.

“I made him a tree swing.” Wyatt chuckled when Cade dropped his cookie and began crowing with delight, arms swinging wildly. “Whoops, I said the word s-w-i-n-g. That’s one he knows, and he loves riding in it.” He held out another biscuit, and Cade soon forgot the topic. “I managed to get the hay changed and the stock fed during his sporadic rides. That’s pretty good considering how he’s feeling.”

“Can I play with Mr. Fudge outside?” Gracie asked.

“Sure.” Wyatt led her to the French doors, then glanced at Ellie. “The yard is fenced. Is it okay?”

“Yes, but don’t go outside the fence, Gracie.” She was thankful Wyatt didn’t open the door until Gracie promised, doubly grateful when he slid the screen across so she could see and hear her daughter.

“I could—” Ellie began, but his phone interrupted her offer.

“Excuse me.” Wyatt set down the washcloth he’d been wetting under the kitchen tap and answered the call. “No, that doesn’t sound good,” he agreed with a frown. He asked a few more questions, obviously about a sick animal, then said, “It could be contagious, but I can’t tell for sure without seeing him, and I’m afraid I can’t get away right now.”

Ellie waved her hand to catch his attention.

“Hang on a moment, will you, Mark?” He put his hand over the receiver, a question on his face. “Yes?”

“Why don’t you go do your job? I’ll stay with Cade. I had nothing special planned for this evening anyway,” she added, then thought how pathetic that sounded.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Ellie.” Wyatt shook his head.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. And I’d really enjoy spending some more time with this little guy.” She dabbed Cade’s cheek, and he sneezed. Seeing Wyatt’s dubious look, she insisted. “Actually I was hoping you’d let us stay long enough to work on Gracie’s school project.”

“Oh?” he frowned.

“She’s got to collect some pinecones for art class. I noticed you have tons scattered along your driveway. We could collect them and take Cade for a walk.” She nodded when he just kept looking at her. “Go ahead. Take the call. It sounds serious.”

“It could be.” Wyatt had an obvious internal debate with himself, but it was equally obvious that he wanted to go. Finally, he nodded just once, then said into the phone, “Okay, Mark, I’m on my way.”

Ellie smiled as he hung up. “Now, where’s the stroller?”

“On the porch. You’re sure about this?” He paused in the act of reaching for his hat. “You’re not just trying to make me feel better or something?”

“Trust me, seeing your lovely ranch does not make me feel pity for you. Jealousy maybe. Look.” She pointed outside to her daughter, suddenly a little too aware of the handsome vet standing beside her. Gracie ran around the yard with the puppy following. “I haven’t heard her laugh like that for ages.”

“Glad I could help.” Wyatt slapped on his hat. “She must have her father’s eyes,” he said when the child looked up.

“No. Gracie has her mother’s eyes.” Ellie shook her head when he blinked in surprise. “I’ll explain later. Go.”

“I don’t know how long I’ll be.” His worried gaze rested on Cade.

“We’ll be here.” She smiled when he looked at her. “I’m a nurse, Wyatt. I can take care of him.”

“Of course. Thank you, Ellie,” he said. He kissed Cade’s head, then hurried out the door. A moment later his truck roared and he took off, a plume of red dust following.

“Mommy? Where did Cade’s daddy go?” Gracie frowned, the puppy forgotten for the moment.

“Wyatt is a doctor for animals. He went to help them. He’ll be back in a little while. Meanwhile, let’s put the puppy in the pen and go for a walk to find those pinecones you need for school.”

“Is Cade coming?” her daughter asked.

“Of course. Cade likes looking for pinecones,” Ellie said as she went to take the child out of his high chair.

“How do you know?” Gracie’s head tilted to one side, giving her the look of a curious bird. “Did his daddy tell you?”

“No. It’s just one of those things mommies know.”

As she picked up the baby and turned, her gaze fell on a huge portrait above the sofa. She walked over to study it.

Wyatt’s wedding picture. He looked young and very happy, his dark eyes shining. The woman beside him was petite, her black hair upswept in a chic style. Even in the photo her love was obvious as her gaze locked with her new husband’s. She wore a fancy, fluffy gown that looked very expensive. Taryn & Wyatt was engraved on a small silver plate along with a date.

Today’s date.

Ellie gulped. Why had she come here today of all days, on their wedding anniversary? She was an interloper. Cade began protesting, and she glanced down, suddenly aware that this child was hers, Taryn’s. She should be here comforting him, caring for him, sharing him with Wyatt.

“Come on, Gracie,” she called suddenly. “Walk time.”

Please, help me, Ellie prayed as she walked the children down the tree-covered lane, pausing here and there so Gracie could collect her cones. I get carried away sometimes by my dream, by wanting what I can’t have. Please, help me find a new dream, Your dream.

Just before the spot where the lane joined the highway, Ellie paused and turned, the ranch spread out before her. It was a home for a family, but it could never be her home or her family. That dream had died the day she’d told her fiancé she would never be separated from her young child.

On that day Ellie had also realized that the dream she’d carried in her heart since childhood, a dream to be a mom to the kind of loving family her parents had given her and her sister, Karen, was just that—a dream. Her parents were gone, Karen was gone. All that was left of the Grant family was Ellie and Gracie.

And that had to be enough.

Chapter Three

Gracie has her mother’s eyes.

With his animal patients well on the road to recovery, Wyatt’s mind was free to puzzle over Ellie’s words as he drove home. Wasn’t Ellie Gracie’s mother?

He pulled into his ranch, surprised by the warm glow he felt at seeing the house lights on as if to welcome him. He stood outside and paused a moment. In the twilight nothing looked amiss, as if this was a well-run hobby ranch instead of a work in progress. Still, Wyatt doubted his father would approve.

Inside the back door he inhaled the savory aroma of simmering beef. His stomach growled in response. Ellie walked toward him, a welcoming smile on her face.

“Hi. How’d things go?”

“Fine. The animal is recovering nicely.” He liked the way she’d bundled her silvery curls on the top of her head, leaving her pretty face and wide smile free for him to admire. “Everything okay here?”

“All quiet on the western front,” she said. “Cade zonked out a while ago.”

“I’ll just go check on him.” Wyatt washed first, then entered Cade’s room, smiling at the sight of his boy curled up and snoring. His heart squeezed almost painfully tight as he smoothed a hand against Cade’s dark head. “I love you, son,” he murmured. He drew the blanket tighter, his heart welling with thankfulness that God had entrusted this small being to him. “Sleep well.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I put Gracie on the bed in your spare room,” Ellie said when he returned to the kitchen. “I thought that way we wouldn’t disturb her, and you can eat in peace.”

“Very thoughtful, thanks. Speaking of eating... What is that tantalizing smell?”

“Oh, just some stew I made from that beef you had in the fridge.” She lifted a dish from the oven. “I hope that’s okay?”

“Yes, but—it’s very kind of you to go to all this trouble.” He licked his lips, slightly embarrassed when he realized Ellie was watching him. As her gaze held his he felt the intimacy in the room ramp up.

“I’m guessing you’re hungry.” Ellie’s wide smile brought a sparkle to her gray eyes like sunshine glinting off a granite rock.

“Starving.” He took out a plate and Ellie filled it with beef, potatoes and green beans.

“I made some biscuits, too.” She set them beside his plate.

“Biscuits?” He licked his lips. “I haven’t had those for ages.”

“Go ahead and eat. I’ll make some tea,” she said and immediately set the kettle to boil. “Do you cook?” She sat at the end of the breakfast bar, not far enough to break the friendly feeling but enough to give Wyatt some room.

“Oh, yes. My father was a firm believer that his kid should know how to fend for himself.” He scooped up some stew. No way was he going to spoil this meal by talking about his unhappy childhood. But Ellie had other ideas.

“Your mom didn’t mind you in her kitchen?” She rose as the kettle boiled.

“I never knew her.” He smeared butter on the feathery light biscuits and watched it melt before taking a bite. “These are fantastic. Everything is. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” Ellie put the teapot and two cups on the counter. “Tanner told me your father was a well-known lawyer.”

Which meant they’d been talking about him. Wyatt didn’t like that, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it because Ellie was speaking again.

“You never had any desire to follow in his footsteps?”

“None. My first love has always been animals.” No point in elaborating or discussing the many reasons why he hoped he’d never become like his father.

“I saw how much you care for animals.”

Her comment shocked him. He stared at her, thinking that the flush of color on her cheeks suited her.

“I was walking Cade the other day when I saw you with that abused horse at Wranglers,” she mumbled, her head tilted down. After a moment she looked directly at him. “He was filthy and mangy, and yet you touched him so gently, as if he was the most precious animal. You’re a wonderful vet.”

“Well, I try,” he sputtered, a little surprised by the fervor of her words. Uncomfortable with her praise, he changed the subject. “Does that mean my son didn’t settle as easily as you claimed?”

“He was restless, needed some fresh air.” She shrugged. “He was fine.”

“I see. Well, thank you for that. And for babysitting tonight and for supper.”

“Oh.” A furrow formed on her wide forehead as she moved to the fridge and pulled out a bowl. “I almost forgot. Rice pudding?”

“My favorite.” Wyatt spooned some onto his almost clean plate, slightly unnerved by how intimate it suddenly seemed in the dim room with two sleeping children next door. How was he going to let her know he wasn’t interested in getting better acquainted? Although if he was honest with himself, he was curious about Ellie Grant.

He ate the pudding. “Delicious.”

“Good.” He saw her gaze swivel to focus on his wedding portrait. “Your wife was a very beautiful woman. Was she also a veterinarian?”

“Taryn?” Wyatt laughed as he scooped out a second helping of the pudding. “She was an interior designer. We were polar opposites. I’m country and she’s—she was,” he corrected automatically, “definitely city. The ranch was going to be our compromise. Only—” He bent his head.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Wyatt.” Somehow the generous compassion in Ellie’s soft voice soothed his lingering hurt. “May I ask how she died?”

“A bunch of kids were joyriding and broadsided her car. The driver was underage and shouldn’t even have been behind the wheel.” As it always did, anger flared toward the teen. “He claimed it wasn’t his fault, but it was.” Wyatt stared at his hands, guilt welling inside. “It was also my fault.”

Irritated that he hadn’t yet found relief from the guilt of that awful day, Wyatt rose and loaded the dishwasher. He was fully aware that Ellie was watching every move with her all-seeing eyes, waiting. There was nothing else to do but explain. He poured two cups of tea and passed one to her.

“Taryn was out that night because of me. She should have been here, at home, with Cade. Instead she was running my errands.” He stopped to clear the rasp from his throat. “My son will spend every Christmas without his mother because I didn’t keep my promise.” He didn’t want to talk about the past anymore, so he turned the tables. “Why did you say Gracie has her mother’s eyes?”

“Because she does.” Ellie sipped her tea nonchalantly. She must have realized he didn’t understand, because she suddenly set the cup down and smiled. “Sorry. I forget sometimes that people don’t know our history. Biologically Gracie is my niece. My sister, Karen, was her mother. She died after Gracie was born and I adopted her a bit later.”

So Ellie, too, carried pain. Wyatt sat down on a stool to listen, curious about the arrangement.

“Karen was married to Kurt. She was four months pregnant when he was killed in an accident at work. Kurt was in construction. He was on the job site one day trying to secure everything in a windstorm when a structure collapsed and killed him.” Ellie sighed, her eyes tear-filled. “It was so hard for Karen to go on, but the pregnancy gave her courage. Then one day she phoned me in Chicago. She’d just found out she had brain cancer, and she’d decided to refuse all treatment in order to keep Gracie safe. I flew down to be with her. She died three months after Gracie’s birth.”

“Ellie, I’m so sorry.” Wyatt reached out to touch her hand where it lay on the counter.

“So am I.” Ellie glanced at his hand, then eased hers away. “Karen would have made an amazing mother. I’m just her stand-in. I promised her I’d do my best to be Gracie’s mom but—” She shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I think I’m failing.”

“How can you say that?” Uncomfortable with her tears but hearing the worry in her tone, he tried to reassure her. “Gracie’s a great kid. I think you’ve done amazingly well with her.”

“Then why isn’t it enough? Why does she keep searching for a father?” Ellie asked, her voice breaking. “I love her so much. I’ve tried to give her everything she needs, but I can’t give her a father!” She dashed away her tears, the gray irises darkening to slate. “There is no man in my life.”

“Because?”

“Because that’s the way it has to be.” Ellie’s cheeks bore dots of hot pink. “I was engaged, but that ended and I realized that God doesn’t want me to have a romantic relationship. He wants me to focus on being Gracie’s mom.”

“Maybe it was the breakup with your fiancé that triggered Gracie’s sudden interest in finding a daddy?” Wyatt privately thought her ex-fiancé must be an idiot to have let this woman go. “Maybe her hopes were dashed because she thought she was going to have a father like the other kids, and then she didn’t get him.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Ellie said slowly. “Because looking back, I realize Gracie never called Eddie Daddy. She always called him by name. When I explained we weren’t getting married, she seemed okay with it. And she hasn’t seemed upset about it since then. She was very excited about starting school. That’s all she talked about.”

“Well, maybe Eddie gave Gracie a sense of, I don’t know, security? Maybe his male perspective is something she needs?” he said. “Is there someone else in your life who could take his place as a father figure?”

“But that’s what I’m saying. Eddie wasn’t a father figure in Gracie’s world,” Ellie protested.

“Maybe he was, and you didn’t realize it.” But even as he said it Wyatt found it hard to believe that Ellie could have missed something so important to her daughter. He’d seen just how caring and protective of Gracie she was. “Maybe there’s someone you could ask to act as a male role model for her?”

“No.” Ellie’s voice was firm and unhesitating. “Tanner and Pastor Jeff are the only influential males in her life right now, and their lives are full with their own kids.”

“Well, I’m no psychologist but...” Wyatt felt uncomfortable giving advice, but clearly Ellie wanted his opinion, and after all she’d done for him tonight, he could hardly throw up his hands and give up. “My guess is Gracie wants a closer bond with a man. Why? Maybe to show him off to her new school friends, maybe to have him take an interest in her that others haven’t, or maybe she wants someone special that she can confide in.”

“Why can’t she confide in me?” Ellie said with a belligerent glare. “I am her mother.”

“Did you tell your mother everything? Weren’t there some times when you wanted to share with someone else?” In his own life Wyatt had never shared his hopes and dreams with his father. He’d often wished he could, but knowing he’d be mocked had kept him silent.

“What does a little girl of five have to confide?” she asked.

“I have no clue.” Wyatt felt like he was digging his way out of a quagmire. “But maybe Gracie thinks you wouldn’t understand or that you’d try to dissuade her if she bared her heart. Or maybe she just needs perspective from another person.”

“Which means I’m not enough.” She looked so desolate that Wyatt hurried to reassure her.