A Secret Worth Keeping?: Living the Charade / Her Shameful Secret / Island of Secrets

Miller tried to smile as the famous supermodel Janelle, clothed in a clinging nude-coloured chiffon creation, stepped out from behind TJ and extended her elegant hand.

A sort of mini-dramatic entrance, Miller thought sourly. Which was a little unfair, because by all accounts the model was not only considered the most beautiful woman on the planet, but the nicest as well. And she looked sweetly nervous as Valentino’s large hand engulfed hers.

‘Mr Ventura...’

Janelle’s awed exhalation promised sexual antics in the bedroom Miller had only ever fantasised about—and with the man now staring at the supermodel no less.

‘This is Janelle,’ TJ continued. ‘Latest sensation to hit the New York runways. But I don’t have to tell you that. You probably have her photo up on your garage wall.’ He guffawed at his own tasteless humour and then seemed to remember his audience. ‘No disrespect, Miller.’

‘None taken,’ Miller lied smoothly. Because what she really wanted to say would jeopardise everything she had worked so hard for.

She felt Valentino tense beside her and wondered if he wasn’t experiencing some sort of extreme physical reaction to the beautiful blonde. Every other man in the room seemed to be.

‘Janelle.’ Valentino smiled and slowly released her hand.

God, they looked perfect together. Her blonde to his dark.

Feeling like a poor cousin next to the stunning model Miller excused herself and left the men to ogle Janelle alone. No need to be a glutton for punishment.

She’d veered off from her decoy destination of the bathroom and made it to the glass bi-fold doors leading outside when Dexter appeared at her side.

‘You know, Dexter, I don’t know if I can go another round with you,’ Miller said with bald honesty.

It was another balmy, star-filled night and she just wanted fresh air and peace.

He had the grace to look uncomfortable. ‘I read some of the ideas you put down this afternoon. They’re good.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘The only thing bothering me with that comment is that you seem to have expected something less.’

He tugged at the collar on his shirt. ‘Can we talk?’

Resignation settled like a brick in her stomach and she extended her hand towards the deck. Might as well fulfil the fresh air component of her plan at least.

‘By all means.’

Dexter walked ahead of her, but when he made to continue down the steps towards the more secluded Japanese garden Miller stayed him. ‘Here’s fine.’

She had no wish to recall the heady kiss she had shared with Valentino the night before any more than she already had. Not with Dexter around anyway.

Winding around various partygoers, Miller found a quiet part of the deck and turned to face him. ‘What did you want to say?’

‘Firstly, I wanted to apologise for being such an a-hole in the meeting earlier today. My intention was only to stop you from getting hurt.’

Miller felt a sense of unease prickle the skin along her cheekbones. ‘I’ve noticed that you haven’t seemed yourself lately,’ she ventured. ‘Is something going on with Carly again?’

‘No, no. That’s well and truly over.’ He gripped the wooden railing and seemed absorbed by the whiteness of his knuckles.

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Even though she had never met Dexter’s wife, Miller hated to hear of the end of any marriage.

Dexter jerked back and flexed his hands before catching her eye. ‘Come on, Miller. Surely you know what this is about?’

Miller stared at him. Shook her head. ‘No.’ But she did know, didn’t she? Ruby and Valentino had already warned her...

‘Okay, if you want me to spell it out I will.’ He seemed slightly nervous. ‘Us.’

‘Us?’ Miller knew her voice had become shrill with alarm.

He nodded, clearly warming to his subject. ‘Or more specifically the chemistry between us.’

‘Chemistry?’

‘I want you, Miller. There’s been something between us since the moment we met.’

He held his hand up and silenced her attempt to save them both any further embarrassment.

‘I know you don’t want to acknowledge it because we work together, but you know I’ve felt like this since university. My coming to work for Oracle six months ago has just made those feelings deepen. And, yes, I know what you’re going to say.’ He stopped her again. ‘I’m your superior and office affairs don’t work. But I know of plenty that have and I’m willing to risk it.’

Miller was speechless, and barely noticed when he took her hand in his. ‘I’ve been behaving like an idiot this weekend because I haven’t wanted to accept that you’re really dating that pretty boy inside. Okay, I can see the appeal. But we both know it won’t last, and I’m not prepared to hold my breath and wait around for it to fizzle out.’

‘That’s too bad, Caruthers. I would have enjoyed seeing you atrophy.’

Miller jumped at the sound of Valentino’s deep, modulated voice and so did Dexter. She glanced up and was once again taken aback by the cold glint in his eyes—a stormy-grey under the soft external lights.

He looked relaxed as he regarded Dexter: preternaturally relaxed. In this mode she could easily see why he was going for his eighth world championship. The shock was in the fact that other drivers had dared go up against him in the first place.

Miller saw Dexter’s chest puff out in a classic testosterone-fuelled gesture and was horrified that he might cause a scene. Because right now Valentino looked as if he wanted to chew Dexter up and spit him out sideways.

‘You don’t have ownership rights here, Ventura.’

Ownership rights? Miller’s gaze swung back to Dexter. What was she? A car?

‘Let her go,’ Valentino ordered quietly, his eyes never straying from Dexter’s.

Miller realised Dexter was still holding her hand and tugged it free, wondering why it was that only French champagne and Valentino’s touch seemed to make her insides fizz with excitement.

‘Miller is her own boss,’ Dexter opined.

Now, that was more like it.

‘Miller is mine.’ Valentino’s soft growl was full of menace.

The immediate warmth that stole through her system at his possessive words threw Miller off-balance. How many times had she imagined her father riding in on a white charger and restoring her torn world to rights again? To have Valentino stand up for her was...disconcerting. Unnerving. Exhilarating.

Dexter was the first to break eye contact in the stag competition going on, and Miller couldn’t blame him. Even though he was cleanly shaven, Valentino, at least in this mood, was not a man you would cross. He was like a lethal warrior of old who would not only win, but would take no prisoners either.

‘Dance.’

Valentino held out his hand for her and she felt herself bristle when he didn’t even glance her way. Then his steely eyes cut to hers and she forgot about being grouchy.

‘Please.’

Her heart beat as fast as his silver sports car had eaten up the bitumen on their trip down as he led her onto the parquet dance floor.

‘What’s with the caveman antics?’ she asked softly.

Valentino stared at her, his feet unmoving, his eyes intense, seemingly transfixed by hers. ‘Playing the part of the jealous boyfriend. What else?’

Playing the part of the jealous boyfriend...

It took a moment for his words to register fully, and when they did Miller felt sick. Playing the part. Pretending. Fake.

The skin on her face felt as if it had been whipped, and she briefly closed her eyes against his handsome face.

If she thought she’d been embarrassed spilling all her secrets to him earlier, she now felt one hundred times worse.

Miller tried to understand why she felt so miserable. So he had stood up for her and she’d felt warmed by it? So he had been hurt by the loss of his father, as she had? So he had remembered her favourite ice cream flavour.

He was a nice person. That was all that amounted to. Nicer than she’d first thought. But at the end of the day he was still no one to her. A virtual stranger.

A virtual stranger who had brought her to orgasm within minutes of touching her. And if only she could stop thinking about that!

Steeling herself against emotions she couldn’t immediately label, and determined he wouldn’t know how she had momentarily forgotten this whole thing was fake, Miller breathed deeply and slowly.

‘Just be thankful this thing isn’t real between us,’ he growled menacingly. ‘I would have decked him if it was.’

For a horrifying second Miller wondered if he’d read her thoughts. ‘For challenging you?’

‘For staring at your breasts as if he could already imagine touching them. He hasn’t, has he?’

Miller’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Of course not.’

He scowled. ‘You don’t want him to, do you?’

‘No!’

Wow! He almost had her convinced he was seriously miffed about Dexter’s interest.

‘Good. And don’t ever walk off on me in the middle of a conversation again.’

Miller frowned. ‘If you’re referring to TJ and Janelle...?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I was hardly required.’

‘When it comes to relationships you have no idea what’s required.’

His words stung because they were true. Relationships scared her. But she was too tired to argue any more, so she shut up and let him guide her around the floor, focusing all her attention on the music and not on the way it felt to be held within the tight circle of his powerful arms. She reminded herself that she was a professional woman with goals and dreams that did not include this man in any shape or form. Reminded herself that her orgasm on the beach was a one-off and not to be repeated.

‘What are you thinking?’ His deep voice made her stumble and his hold tightened momentarily.

Miller’s eyes met his. She was thinking that despite everything she knew about herself, about life, she still wanted to have sex with him with a bone-deep need that defied explanation.

‘Miller?’

His husky command made her peek up at him from under her fringe. This wasn’t her. She didn’t peek. She looked. She organised. She...she was melting as her eyes drifted over his handsome face and her body brushed his.

Her heart beat much faster than it needed to and she wondered what type of man he really was. Why he lived the life he did. Why he had chosen to work in a profession that had taken his father’s life—something she was sure affected him more deeply than he let on.

‘How do you do what you do?’ she asked, latching onto her curiosity about his racing life to distract herself from the fact that she seriously wanted to throw caution to the winds and have sex with him. Just once. To see what it would be like to do it with a man who just had to touch her to make her burn hotter than the sun.

* * *

Tino’s hand tightened around Miller’s as they continued to sway to the music. He had no idea what she was on about. His one-track mind was heavily mired in defending himself against the onslaught of her slender curves, her light, mouth-watering scent.

After their talk in the park earlier, when he’d felt a strong desire to comfort her and slay all her demons, his self-preservation instincts had kicked in and warned him that this time he really needed to keep his distance.

Of course dancing with her wasn’t exactly conducive to that plan, but seeing Caruthers pawing her earlier had made him see red, and he knew he couldn’t just drag her off to a secluded location feeling the way he did. Dancing with her was the safer of the two options.

‘You’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that,’ he said, telling himself to ignore the way she seemed to fit so perfectly in his arms.

He was still a little shocked by the way he had nearly put his fist through Dexter’s arrogant face. He had forgotten that this thing with Miller was fake. Of course that had more to do with male pride than the delicate, sensual woman in his arms right now.

Yeah, and pigs might fly. You want her and there’s no shame in admitting it. Just don’t do anything about it.

Just when he was about to end the exquisite torture of dancing with her, she answered his question.

‘Race? Don’t you ever get scared?’

Ah, she’d been asking him about his job.

Okay, that he could talk about on a superficial level. ‘Motor racing is all about pushing yourself to the limit. There’s no room for fear.’

Her body swayed against his in time to an eighties love song; the room too warm with the crush of similarly entwined bodies dancing together.

‘But you push yourself beyond the limit, don’t you? Isn’t that why they call you an arrogant adrenalin junkie and a shock-jock? Maverick?’

‘Don’t believe everything you read about me, Miller. I’m happiest living on the edge, it’s true. But I don’t take stupid chances with my own life or anyone else’s. Fear is an emotion. Controllable like any other. And while I’m not crazy, sometimes...’ He paused, his mind automatically spinning back to the race that had taken the life of his good friend and caused him to question the sport he loved so much. ‘Sometimes you have to squeeze the fear a little.’

And in this game you never look back, he silently added.

‘Squeeze the fear?’

She said the words as if she were savouring a new taste on her tongue, and his body burned with a restless energy at the thought of tasting her again. But this time not just her mouth.

‘You really love it don’t you?’ she said, a soft smile curving her lips.

Tino’s mind jerked and went blank. Then he used his formidable mental control to switch off the erotic images turning his body hard. ‘I get to experience life in its most heightened and intense form. Nothing else has ever come close.’

And probably right now he was too close to her—both mentally and physically. He couldn’t remember ever having revealed so much about why he raced, and as for talking about his reasons for steering clear of relationships...

He frowned down at her. ‘You’re not going to repeat what I just said, are you?’

‘You mean to a journalist?’ Her tone was light, almost teasing.

‘Yes.’ His wasn’t.

‘Are your illustrious words worth very much?’

He scowled and she smiled.

‘Relax.’

That captivating smile grew and he knew she was thinking of all the times he had told her to do the same thing.

‘I don’t need the money.’

Tino was jostled from behind by an exuberant dancer and his whole body came up flush against Miller’s. Foreign emotions he couldn’t name and a healthy dose of testosterone heightened as the arousal he’d been holding at bay flared instantly to life.

So much for that formidable mental control, Ventura.

He stopped dancing. ‘I think it’s time to call it a night.’

He noticed her face was flushed, and his arms tightened around her like a steel cage.

She stood still, looking up at him. ‘I had no idea your job was so fascinating.’

His eyes became hooded and he saw his own desperate need reflected back at him from her over-bright eyes. Her lips parted softly in silent invitation and he had to fight the instinct to crush her mouth beneath his.

He studied her slender hands curled around his shoulders, her fingers elegant, the nails unvarnished. They suited her serious nature and reminded him that ‘serious’ females were best avoided at all costs.

‘Valentino, are you okay?’

Her hands slid from his shoulders to rest lightly against his chest and he felt scalded.

Deliberately slowing his heart-rate, he evened out his breathing and stepped back from her. Every minute he spent in her presence eroded his self-control and he hated that. Without self-control he was nothing. He had no choice but to sever whatever bond had sprung up between them, because right now he sensed she was more dangerous to him than a hairpin turn at three hundred clicks.

He saw the moment comprehension dawned that he was rejecting what she was unconsciously offering and silently cursed as a moment of hurt flashed across her beautiful face.

It was as if he’d betrayed her. And maybe he had. The way he’d come on to her on the beach, then taken her for ice cream, grilled her about her life, his behaviour with her boss...

Feeling as if he owed her a massive apology, he didn’t know where to start. Or if it would make the situation between them better or worse.

Then she took the decision out of his hands and closed down her emotions as effectively as he had, pivoting on her sexy heels and walking away from him.

Immediately, an image of his father slotted into his brain, but rather than shake it off straight away, as he usually did, he let it settle there for a moment. The image was always the same. A smiling, larger-than-life hero in a white jumpsuit with a cerulean-blue helmet under his arm.

Miller’s eyes.

His father’s helmet.

His father’s death hanging over him like a sword.

In this game, you never look back.

Tino felt his old rage at his father rear up and flattened it. This weekend was supposed to be light and easy. Relaxing. But Miller was drawing something out of him he had no wish to face, and it was messing with his head.

She was messing with his head.

He wasn’t supposed to want her. At least not this much. And he sure as hell wasn’t supposed to want to make her world a better place.

What a crapshoot.

CHAPTER TEN

STALKING into the breakfast room the next morning, Tino plastered what he hoped was an easy smile across his face.

Miller was there, as were TJ, Dexter and another female guest decked out in a Lycra leotard.

Tino hadn’t returned to the bedroom he shared with Miller for a good two hours after she’d walked off the dance floor the night before, and when he had it had been to find her curled up in the middle of the huge bed.

He’d slept on the floor.

If you could call staring at the bedroom ceiling all night sleeping. Then he’d risen early and gone for a run, so he didn’t know what mood Miller was in. By the look of the dark shadows beneath her eyes she hadn’t slept much either.

‘Maverick. You’re up early.’

Valentino’s gaze turned from Miller to TJ. He hated the familiarity with which TJ addressed him but it was one of those things that came with success. Men always thought he was their best friend and women always wanted to nail him. Well, except Miller, who might prefer to put an axe through his head after last night. He poured muesli from the selection of breakfast cereal arranged on the sideboard into a bowl and pulled out the dining chair beside the woman he was supposed to act as if he was in love with. He’d been chivalrous last night—truly, unselfishly chivalrous for the first time in his life—and he had no doubt she’d thank him for it later. Hopefully more than he was thanking himself right now.

‘As are you.’ He glanced at Miller and her grip tightened around the shiny fork she was using as a weapon against a grapefruit.

‘Habit,’ TJ said. ‘No sleeping in when you’re raised on a cattle station. So, are you up for a game of tennis later today?’

‘Thank you.’ Valentino accepted hot coffee from the maid who had just materialised at his side.

‘As I explained before you insisted I have breakfast, TJ,’ Miller interjected, ‘I have to get back to the city by lunchtime.’

‘What could be so important you have to rush back on a glorious day like today?’

Covering for her slight hesitation, Tino jumped in. ‘Unfortunately I have to go over a new engine with my engineers today.’

Miller glanced up at him through the screen of her sooty lashes and he was disconcerted to find that he couldn’t read her expression.

‘And have you given any more thought to my proposal, Mav? To represent Real Sport?’ TJ asked, confidence dripping from every word.

Not expecting such a direct question, Tino hesitated. He would have liked to tell TJ what he thought of his business tactics, but Miller stayed him with her hand on his.

‘I’ve advised Valentino to set aside any final decisions about working on your campaign until after our business is concluded. I wouldn’t want to muddy the waters by mixing the two—as I’m sure you can appreciate.’

The skin around TJ’s eyes tightened briefly before the man recovered himself. He clearly hadn’t been expecting Miller to turn the tables on him so neatly. And neither had Dexter, who started choking on his eggs.

Tino had actually been considering telling his publicist to accept the Real Sport deal in a bid to help Miller win the account, but perhaps he didn’t need to. It really wouldn’t affect him all that much, so long as TJ’s company fitted the strict criteria he insisted on and was willing to pay one of his pet charity organisations an exorbitant sum of money for the privilege.

TJ scratched his ear in a dead giveaway of his mounting tension. ‘Interesting decision. Not one I would have made.’

‘Nevertheless, it’s one I’ve made.’

Miller had her bushfire extinguishing voice in place and Tino felt his fists clench when he caught Dexter’s murderous expression.

Easing his bulk back in his chair, his face flushed, TJ fixed narrowed eyes on Miller’s boss. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the senior consultant on this account, Caruthers?’

He didn’t need to say anything else to indicate how he felt, and everyone in the room held their collective breaths.

A muscle in Dexter’s jaw twitched, but Tino cut off any response he might have made with a single look. ‘Miller’s principles are admirable,’ he said. He reached for an apple from the middle of the table. ‘Qualities I would expect any company I endorse to emulate.’

For a moment no one seemed to know what to say.

‘Then get that final proposal to me quick-smart, young lady,’ TJ snapped. ‘I want everything wrapped by race day.’ He stared at Tino. ‘Maybe we can even announce our collaboration at your mother’s bash next Saturday night.’

Damn. If Lyons was going to his mother’s party, he would expect to see Miller there.

Tino shook his head. ‘I play a low-key role at that event. It’s my mother’s show.’

Miller stopped torturing her breakfast. ‘I’ll make sure I have the proposal to you in time for an early decision, TJ.’ She dabbed at her lips with her napkin and stood up. ‘Thank you for your hospitality and, again, happy birthday.’ Then, acknowledging the other occupants in the room, she walked out like a queen.

* * *

Miller sat beside Valentino in the car as they headed back to Sydney, nursing a headache to end all others and a stomach that felt as if it was twisted up with her intestines.

She’d hardly slept the night before, completely mortified that Valentino had not only read how much she had wanted him on the dance floor, but that he had not wanted her in return. Her embarrassment from the whole trying day had been absolute.

It was a cliché that pride went before a fall, but right now Miller was grateful for the extra cushioning. In fact, she felt so terrible she almost felt sorry for the way Dexter must have felt when she had rejected him. One-way chemistry was not a pleasant thing to come face-to-face with for anyone.

‘Are you okay?’

Valentino’s quiet concern in the stuffy little car was the last thing she needed. ‘No, not really.’ She was too tired to pretend any more. ‘Dexter is probably going to put me on performance management for overstepping hierarchical boundaries, TJ is livid, my promotion is most likely dead in the water, and I have the mother of all headaches.’

‘If it’s any consolation I thought you were magnificent this morning.’

This morning—but not last night... ‘I was stupid.’ This morning and last night.

‘You’ll win TJ’s business and save the day. You’ll be a hero.’

‘Thanks for the pep talk.’ She rubbed her forehead and grimaced as she thought of pulling her computer out of its bag. Still, it had to be done. She had ‘squeezed the fear’ and stood up to TJ this morning—which she didn’t regret—but she didn’t want to lose her job over it, and she knew she had major sucking up to do if she wanted to get her goals back on track.