Mine At Midnight

He felt sorry for her then. He didn’t want to because he didn’t like her. He didn’t like the way she walked or spoke or dressed. He didn’t like how she let herself be used as some rich man’s accessory. She reminded him of his mother. An incredibly beautiful failed dancer turned social climber, whose self-worth came from being the woman of a rich man.

He learned from a lifetime of living with her that women like that didn’t change. Derek stepped away from the window and back to his work space. It wasn’t his business what caused that hurt look to take over Ava’s face. She would find another man. She would be all right. Women like her always managed to make it somehow.

* * *

Ava sat alone in her rented cottage that night. Carlos, Virginia and Elias had left a few minutes ago after staying with her all day. It was nice to have her family rally around her. Having two large, protective brothers threatening to tear Max limb from limb made her feel surprisingly better.

And her sister-in-law was a godsend. “You want this wedding canceled. We’ll get this wedding canceled.” As an interior designer, Virginia was used to managing large projects and calling dozens and dozens of vendors was no small feat. But she had done it all with a baby on her hip. If Ava hadn’t been so numb, she would have been amazed by her.

She could barely focus on anything; she just leaned against her twin brother, his strong body keeping her upright when she would have slumped. She and Elias usually fought like it was going out of style, but he was her twin. They had gone to college together and lived next door to each other and didn’t let more than a day pass without speaking to each other. Carlos was like a father figure to her, but Elias was like a piece of her soul. She would have fallen apart if he hadn’t ended his shift at the hospital early to get to her.

But she had sent them all away. Elias’s job as a trauma surgeon was too important for him to be away, and Carlos and Virginia needed to put their little girl to bed. And so she was truly left alone with her thoughts again.

What the hell was she going to do with her life now? She had no job. She was sure she could get her old one back, and if not, she could find one someplace else. Maybe in New York or LA, but that thought didn’t appeal to her. She didn’t want to be that far away from her family. The thought of returning to Miami also made her sick. She had so many memories of Max there. So many places where he had wined and dined her all while keeping the fact that he had three children and another woman a secret from her.

He had businesses there. She was bound to run into him over and over again, which was dangerous, because in her current mood she wasn’t sure if she could prevent herself from running over him.

Her cell phone rang, and for a moment she was tempted to ignore it, but it was probably her mother who spent most of her year in Costa Rica now that she was a widow. She hadn’t been home when she had called the first time, and she didn’t want to leave the news in a message. It just wasn’t the kind of thing you said into a machine. She reached over to the side table to retrieve her phone, but the caller ID revealed that it wasn’t her mother. It was Max. She had told half the world she wasn’t getting married, but she had yet to tell him.

“Hello?” she answered, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. She refused to cry, because she knew if she started, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Darling,” he purred in his accent. “Why am I hearing that you have canceled the cake and told the string quartet not to board their plane tomorrow?”

“Oh, that’s simple, Max. I’m not going to marry you.”

“Excuse me?” he sputtered, sounding genuinely surprised. “Why not? You’re being foolish.”

“Foolish?” She immediately felt her anger go up a tick. “I didn’t think it was foolish to not marry a man who is a cheating, lying bastard.”

“Cheating? I’m not cheating on you. I never have.”

“You’re not sleeping with Ingrid anymore? Judging by your family photo album, you looked very happy with her and your children in the South of France.”

He went silent, quiet for so long that she thought he had hung up. “She told you.”

“Yes. She came to see me today. Your oldest—Hugo—he looks quite like you. He’s got your nose and eyes, but he has Ingrid’s coloring. How the hell could you do this to me? And why the hell did you think you could get away with keeping this a secret from me?”

“I was going to tell you after we were married.”

“You were going to let me walk down that aisle, thinking that I was the only woman in your life, thinking that we were going to start a family, when you knew that everything we had was a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie. Yes, I have three children. Yes, their mother is my best friend, but, darling, you are the only woman I can see myself being married to, and we are going to start a family. I’ve always wanted as many children as possible.”

“It’s hard to keep that big of a secret from the world. Others have to know. You were going to let me make a fool of myself. People have probably been laughing behind my back for years.”

“Nobody would dare laugh at you. Not my chosen bride. I’m from one of the richest and most powerful families in the world. They respect you, and if they do not, I will make them. So don’t worry about what other people think. I will take care of that. Now, stop this little tantrum and call everyone back. I love you. I will take care of you. You are perfect. My princess. You are meant for a grand life with me.”

“You don’t respect me at all—do you?” She didn’t know why she hadn’t known that sooner, but the realization was crushing. She’d spent so long with a man who she was just an object to. “You think that this is something that I’m just supposed to get over. You don’t care about my feelings at all.”

“My father has had the same mistress for over fifty years. I have nearly a dozen half siblings. If my mother can bear it, so can you. You’re giving up so much for your foolish American pride. This is how things work where I come from.”

“I’m not your mother,” she said calmly. “And my foolish American pride won’t allow me to marry you. It’s over.”

“This isn’t over. You’ll see how sad your life is without me, and I will be waiting here for when you get over yourself.”

Ava hung up without saying any more. She had no idea what she was going to do with the rest of her life, but she knew that he would not be in it.

Chapter 3

Derek walked up to his aunt’s house as he did nearly every day after he finished his work. He had always thought of this place as his childhood home because he’d spent much more time sleeping there than at his own house. His aunt and late uncle had been like his parents. His cousin was more like his sister, and his grandmother, his most favorite person in the world, had lived there. Some of his best memories happened around the kitchen table in this house. He would say he was from a tight-knit family and mostly he was, but out of the dozens of holidays he had spent here, there were very few he could recall with his mother. She always seemed to be jetting off somewhere with a new boyfriend.

But maybe it had been better for him to be without her. His uncle was a world-famous architect who taught him how to build things and in the process be creative. He would have never thought about designing and building furniture. He would have never thought about running for mayor when he was only twenty-five years old. It still pained him a bit when he walked through the door and he realized that his uncle wouldn’t be there to greet him. But this house was still a happy place. It wasn’t just that it looked like a large gingerbread house; it was the fact that there was even more love in it now.

He opened the door to see his cousin’s husband, Asa, sitting next to his grandmother on the couch. They were playing video games, which wasn’t something he had expected to see when he walked through the door that evening.

“Are you ready to give up yet?” his grandmother, Nanny, asked Asa as she furiously pressed the buttons on her controller.

“No! How are you this good at this game? We just got it today. I think you’ve been practicing.”

“I think you’re a sore loser, or you will be in a moment when I do this finishing move on you. There, done.”

Asa tossed his controller on the couch beside him and slumped in his seat. “You beat me at cards and now at this. I’m not sure I can hold my head up anymore.”

Derek laughed as he walked farther into the room. Asa had just recently become a member of their family. His cousin Hallie had fallen in love with him hard after only knowing him for a month. There were a few people who thought they wouldn’t make it, especially since Hallie had been engaged to another man just six months before, but Derek knew as soon as he met Asa that he was right for Hallie. He loved her unconditionally. He gave up his career as a rescue paramedic to move down to this tiny island to be with her. Derek could only respect the man for that. “What are you two up to?” he asked them.

“Playing Street Warrior,” Nanny answered.

Nanny was active and looked much younger than her eighty years. She wasn’t one of those elderly people who was going to let her age stop her.

“You all look too serious to interrupt. So I’ll just find Hallie.”

“She’s in the kitchen with Clara.” Nanny answered. “They are making dinner. Afterward, if you’re prepared to battle me, I’d welcome another challenge.”

Derek laughed at his feisty grandmother before he made his way into the kitchen. Hallie was stirring something, while her mother sat at the table chopping vegetables for a salad. “Hello. It smells good in here.”

“Hey, Derek!” Hallie smiled at him. She was glowing. She was just a semester away from finishing her doctorate. She was enjoying being married. He had never seen her so happy. He was happy for her, but it gave him a little twinge. Not that he was jealous of her, but seeing her so in love made him realize that he never had been. He didn’t necessarily want to be in love or in a serious relationship but he was thirty-three and he had never felt a strong connection to any of the women he had been involved with.

He dated. Preferred discreet relationships with divorced women, not looking for a serious commitment. He took his job as mayor very seriously. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be the mayor but as long as he was, his island would come first.

“Are my son-in-law and mother still playing that crazy fighting game?” his aunt Clara asked.

“They just finished. Nanny destroyed Asa. Apparently she an excellent street fighter.”

Hallie shook her head, grinning. “Don’t tell Asa, but she’s had practice. You know the Johnson kid that she gives piano lessons to? Well, he got the game for his birthday, and he taught her how to play.”

“She’s a sly old lady, isn’t she?”

“She’ll outlive us all,” his aunt said just before she got up from the table and left the room.

“I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Hallie turned down the burner and faced him. “What have you been up to?”

“We’re starting to plan for founder’s day down at city hall, and my own business is growing a little faster than I expected. My showroom is nearly empty.”

“That’s because you are an amazing craftsman. I hope you have time to make a crib for us.”

His eyes widened. “Are you pregnant?”

“No. Not yet. But as soon as I’m done with school we’re going to start trying. Asa isn’t rushing me, but I know he’s ready to be a father. I was just putting in my order now. Hopefully by the time a baby enters our lives, you’ll have it done.”

“Of course.” He took a seat at the table. “Is anything new going on with you?”

“Not really. But I did hear that Ava Bradley canceled her wedding.”

“I figured.”

“You figured? It has been all over town. No one has been able to stop talking about it.”

“I knew something was going on when I heard her brothers threaten to kill Vermeulen. Your husband works with her brother—he didn’t tell you anything?”

She shook her head. “Just that the wedding was off. I feel bad for Ava. I had to cancel a wedding a few months before I walked down the aisle. It must be terrible to call it off when your guests have already started to arrive. Something big must have happened.”

“Yes, she probably realized that he was the slimy, opportunistic scumbag that the rest of us already knew he was.”

“Whoa.” Hallie put her hands up in defense, but she gave him a little smile. “Tell me how you really feel about him.”

The kitchen door opened and his mother, Anita, breezed in. He hadn’t seen her in a few weeks, which was hard to do when they lived on an island so small.

“My baby is here!” She smiled brightly at him, but he couldn’t force his lips to curl in return.

“Hi, Mom.” He offered her a small, almost awkward wave. “How are you?”

She walked toward him, wearing a dress that looked more appropriate for a nightclub than a visit with her family. “I’m just great, sweetie. I’m on my way to meet my new friend. He’s taking me off-island for a little wining and dining.”

“That’s nice,” he said, not really meaning it. His mother was always with a “new friend,” as she called them. She had so many boyfriends by the time he turned fifteen that he had lost count. And each time she thought they would be the one. But it had been heartbreak after heartbreak, all because she never picked the right guy. It all had started with his father. A married man who never planned to leave his wife for his young mistress, even if that young mistress did get pregnant to force his hand.

She walked over, looking at him with a mix of love and dislike as she placed her hand on his cheek. They had always had such a complicated relationship. He looked so much like his father, and he knew that he reminded her of her biggest failed relationship, reminded her of all her mistakes, reminded her that she wasn’t quite good enough to make a millionaire leave his wife.

She was probably why he had never fallen in love. She had enough broken hearts for the both of them.

“How are you, Derek?” She kissed his cheek.

“I’m fine, Mom. I didn’t realize you were on the island.”

“I’ve been off and on,” she said vaguely.

“I haven’t seen you in a few weeks. I think we should have dinner and catch up.” Things were strained between them. They always had been, and Derek knew that it would just be easier to keep her at arm’s length, but he always made the effort even if it was continually rejected. She was his mother. He felt like she should be in his life.

His aunt Clara had come back into the kitchen, but his focus remained on his mother’s face as he waited for her answer. Her makeup was elaborate, not distasteful, crafted to make her look more youthful. Her hair was cut precisely in some sort of asymmetrical style that was popular with the teenagers in town. She looked more like his older sister than his mother, but that’s what happened when your mother was a teenager when she had you.

“Yeah, maybe next week,” she said noncommittally.

It was like déjà vu, little flashbacks to when he was a kid asking her to come to his band concerts or to see him perform on the debate team, or to one of his championship soccer games when he was in college. She had always made excuses, or promises that she couldn’t keep.

He nodded. Not surprised by her answer, not hurt by it, either, just curious as to what was going on in her head.

“I stopped by to see my mother. Where is she?”

“In the living room with Asa,” he answered.

“See you around, kid.” She winked at him and squeezed Hallie’s arm before she left again.

“My baby.” Aunt Clara practically pounced on him, wrapping him in a tight motherly hug. “I love you so much, Derek,” she whispered. “Just like you came from me.”

He closed his eyes and let himself be hugged. He knew his aunt loved him just like she loved her own child and probably twice as much as his own mother loved him. Maybe that thought should have comforted him, but it didn’t. It made him feel kind of hollow.

* * *

Ava lay in bed all day. She couldn’t remember the last time she had done that. Maybe she never had. She always had something to do, a task to accomplish, a job to complete, but now for the first time there was nothing ahead of her. She found that kind of terrifying.

Her stomach growled angrily at her that evening, forcing her out of bed and into the kitchen.

When she looked in the refrigerator she saw that there was nothing there but spinach and kale. Grilled chicken breasts and low-fat yogurt. It wasn’t the kind of thing a woman wanted to eat after a bad breakup. A pool full of hot fudge sundae with forty gallons of whipped cream was what she needed. Or something heavy and filling, something that would momentarily take away the empty sadness.

Her mother was not coming up from Costa Rica. Ava told her to stay home, that she needed a few days of alone time to think, to regroup. But she should have let her mother come. Her mother would have cooked for her. She would have made her world-famous double chocolate cake with the thick, creamy icing. And empanadas and a huge pot of spaghetti and meatballs like she used to do when she was a child. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had pasta or anything resembling a carb. She had eaten so many leafy greens that she was surprised she hadn’t grown branches.

Good food was another thing that Ava had given up for Max. It was even harder than giving up her great job and the high-paying promotion she was offered just before she quit. But she wanted to look beautiful for Max on their wedding day. She had given up pie on Thanksgiving and eggnog at Christmas and grilled beef in the summer and takeout every weekend. She had lost weight for him. Nearly starved herself to fit into a dress that she didn’t like.

From the kitchen she could still see it hanging on the rack. She hadn’t gotten the chance to fully look at it. Ingrid’s visit had stopped her in her tracks.

She didn’t think it was possible to hate a garment so much, but looking at it then just served as a reminder of all the things she had given up for a man who hadn’t respected her at all.

It had to go.

She walked over to it. Unlike the last time she attempted to view it, she yanked the zipper down and pulled the dress from the bag all in one motion. It was heavy, pounds and pounds of fabric and crystals and a train that would rival a princess’s. Lavish, over the top, unapologetically bold. It was everything Max was, and she felt her blood start to boil. For years she had ignored the little things about him that annoyed her. She had defended him when others called him callous. She had done everything to morph herself into a wife he could be proud of, and more than she was mad at Max, she was mad at herself for being so damn stupid.

She marched out her front door and tossed the monstrous piece of fabric into the yard. It needed to be out of the house, out of her sight. Unable to taunt her, remind her of all her wasted years. But even now that it lay in the sandy dirt, she didn’t feel her anger ease. So much effort had gone into that dress; so much effort had gone into building herself into a perfect woman for a man who didn’t deserve her. It wasn’t enough to have the dress out of the house. She stepped off the porch and kicked the dress, letting out a scream of pure frustration as she did.

It felt good to kick the dress. It felt good to let out some of the pent-up emotion she kept bottled up inside.

Don’t raise your voice.

Don’t be too opinionated.

Don’t ruffle feathers.

Be pleasant.

Be passive.

She kicked the dress again. She stomped on it, like she was stomping all the years of reprogramming she had done to herself. She took pleasure in seeing the pristine white fabric getting stained a greenish brown from the grass and dirt.

But it wasn’t enough.

She reached down and pulled on the bodice of the dress, feeling more satisfaction as she heard the popping of threads, but still that wasn’t enough for her. The damn thing needed to be completely destroyed, all of its bad energy gone for good. She spotted a metal garbage can on the side of the house and a lonely bottle of lighter fluid meant for a charcoal grill. An idea took shape in her head.

She wondered how long it would take to barbeque a wedding dress.

* * *

Derek watched Ava from his window, completely in awe. He had gotten home from a planning meeting just a few minutes ago and was preparing to head into his workshop when he heard a strangled scream. He rushed to his window to see Ava jumping up and down on a massive pile of white fabric. He stood transfixed, unable to move, even though he knew it was wrong to watch such an intensely private moment. The Ava Bradley he had known, the incredibly put-together, icily beautiful woman, had disappeared. He was left looking at a woman so full of raw hurt and anger that even he felt the depths of it in his bones.

She was destroying her wedding dress. Her hands pulled furiously at the fabric, ripping it to shreds, little angry grunts escaping with every hard tug.

She must have had so much riding on this marriage. An entire life.

A memory of his mother flashed in his head.

Derek had been a kid, not even ten years old yet. He’d been crouched on the floor in his bedroom, staring through a crack in his door as his father told his mother that he never wanted to see her again.

You need to get it through your head. I’m never leaving her for you.

His father had a wife. His mother was his mistress. And that was one of the million times Derek wished he could have been born to normal parents.

But of course that wish was just too much to ask for. He watched rage take over his beautiful mother.

I planned my life around you. I’ve done everything to be with you.

And she had. Derek’s father was the most important person in her world. Way more than Derek could ever hope to be.

She had hurled a vase at his father’s head as he had turned to leave, letting out a guttural, primal scream as she did. Derek would never forget that sound. He would never forget how his father looked when he felt the glass shards bounce off the wall and hit his back.

You got pregnant, forced a child on me like it was going to magically make us a family. Your plan failed. I’ll take care of him, but don’t ever think that he’s going to turn out to be anything like my other children with you for a mother.

His mother destroyed the house that day. Throwing lamps and chairs, ripping up photographs, stomping on keepsakes.

Derek had called his uncle Hal because he was scared and didn’t know what to do, and he heard his aunt Clara’s voice in the background, ordering Hal to go get him and his belongings. That was the first time he’d lived with his aunt and uncle for an extended amount of time. Over the years he had stayed with them more times than he could count.

His mind snapped back to the present when he saw Ava, dressed in a flimsy nightgown, drag the metal garbage can from the side of the house to the front yard. She hauled the dress off the ground and dumped it into the garbage can before walking away. For a moment Derek thought that that might be it, but she came back with a can of lighter fluid and a box of matches. He watched motionlessly as she squirted the entire bottle into the can.

Something inside of Derek screamed at him to move.

He sprinted from his house and made it to Ava just as she lit a match. He caught her hand, blew it out and took the box away from her.

“Are you insane?” he shouted.

She looked up at him with shocked, angry eyes, and even though she looked crazy as hell, he still found her insanely attractive. “Are you trying to burn down the whole damn neighborhood?”

“Mind your business, Mr. Holier-Than-Thou. This doesn’t concern you.”