The Forever Husband

Eric watched a frown crease her forehead. “You’re probably right. But it looked better than the other choices.”

“That’s true,” Hope replied with a brief smile. “Maybe we should have chosen another place to eat.” Then her smile faded. Maybe she shouldn’t have said something that hinted at more than he’d offered. She hadn’t thought how it might sound until the words were out.

“Maybe so,” Eric agreed, easing the moment of tension he’d seen on her face. “You wanted to talk to me?” he asked. His curiosity was increasing.

“Yes,” she agreed, “I do need to discuss something about Beth with you.”

“She’s not sick—”

“No, no, Eric, it’s nothing like that. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hope responded. “It’s just that, she’s becoming something of a discipline problem at school. I’ve been with Cassie so much lately, I didn’t notice Beth’s behavior. When I picked her up at school the other day, Greg Shelton, the principal, took me aside and filled me in on some facts I wasn’t aware of.”

Eric took a sip of his coffee. “And did Greg have some ideas on how to solve the problems?” Like spend the rest of your life with him, maybe? he thought unkindly.

Hope frowned in response to his question. “Do you know him?”

“No,” Eric said with a shake of his head. “But I’ve heard about him.” And about his needs as perceived by Grandma, Eric thought. “So, what did he tell you?”

“Beth has been sent to his office twice this month.”

“For what?”

“At first, she was repeatedly talking when she wasn’t supposed to, then she was disrespectful to another child. But then it progressed quickly to intentional disobedience when she started refusing to do what her teacher told her to do. She lost her recess every day last week without telling me, and the notes her teacher has sent home to me—Beth’s destroyed them! Greg is really worried about what this is going to turn into if we don’t take some action. Soon. And so am I.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Eric assured her. “But Beth is good at hiding her feelings, so it might not be easy to get to the bottom of this matter, even though I think we both know the root of it.”

“Her sister’s illness,” Hope said. “But Beth is more like you in temperament than she’s ever been like me. I’m hoping you can help her in some way I can’t.” Hope looked down at what remained of her lunch as she gathered her thoughts. “Grace told me about her plans for the cruise when I saw her a little while ago. She said they’re leaving tonight for Florida.” She looked up. Now for the difficult part. “I appreciate your willingness to stay with us while they’re gone.”

Eric stared into the gentle blue eyes that seemed even prettier now than in the years that had passed. “You don’t mind my being there?” he asked.

“Eric, it’s not easy for me to admit this, but I really need your help,” Hope replied.

He nodded. It wasn’t the answer he’d wanted, but it was an acceptable one—a place to begin. “I’ll do what I can, Hope. You know that.”

“I know, but…I must be doing something wrong with Beth. She seems to want to be independent of me, and yet, honestly, I think she needs more of me than she gets.” Hope blinked hard, and Eric knew she was fighting back tears. “Being here for Cassie, substitute teaching and taking care of the basics at your parents’ home is about all I can deal with these days, Eric. Beth turning into a disciplinary problem wasn’t something I’d thought would ever happen, but it has. And, I feel like I’m not doing a good job as a mother.”

“You’re exactly the mother she needs, Hope,” Eric stated quietly. He knew how hard she could be on herself. “But if she needs extra attention right now, then I’ll be there for her.”

Hope wiped her mouth on her paper napkin. “Just spend time with her, maybe help with her homework like you did yesterday, watch her play ball…anything like that would mean a lot.” She studied Eric’s face without smiling, and wondered how he could have stopped loving her. After all they’d shared together? Then she realized she’d been silent too long. “I—I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for helping out with my own children—” he began.

“No,” she interrupted. “I mean, I really want to thank you. Since our separation, you’ve not neglected the girls at all. I was afraid that—” She stopped, knowing she might be entering territory better left alone.

“You were afraid that what? I’d not want to see my kids?” Eric prodded, his instinctive defenses kicking in.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe I thought your new life-style would occupy too much of your time to allow room for the girls. I was very wrong.”

“You were,” he stated with a hint of a smile. “And thanks. It’s generous of you to admit it.” His words were spoken gently and prompted no more than a slight smile from Hope.

“Maybe we should go up to see if Cassie’s sleeping,” she suggested.

“Okay,” Eric agreed. “I’ve had about all of this grilled cheese I can handle anyway.”

“It definitely looked better than it tasted,” Hope commented as they both carried their trays to the trash can.

A walk through the lobby and an elevator ride up to the fourth floor were all that stood between them and their daughter. Soon they were back in her room where they found Cassie sleeping soundly.

Nurse Trudy appeared at the door. “She’s doing fine today. No fever at all.”

Hope nodded. “That’s great. Thanks, Trudy.”

“No problem, Mrs. Granston. I just like to keep the parents informed how the little ones are doing. Did you enjoy your lunch?” she asked, glancing toward Eric with a questioning look.

“The coffee was much better than the food,” he responded, laughing. Then he turned to Hope. “If you need me, try calling the office.”

“I will,” replied Hope. Eric leaned down to kiss Cassie’s forehead, then left for the real estate office to finish up the day’s business. He entered the hospital parking lot and he quickly located his truck. He’d have to find a way to work this out with Hope, he thought. And he’d have to do so on his own, he knew. After all, he hadn’t allowed God into his life for a very long time.

Some days, though, the idea of having a Heavenly Father to turn to again sounded good. Very good.

“It isn’t my fault if the teacher isn’t fair to me,” Beth complained. “She just doesn’t like me.”

Eric repositioned his arm around Beth as they sat at the head of her bed, talking. Discussing the discipline issues with her was going as Eric had thought it would. Not easily. Beth snuggled up close to him, and he kissed the top of her blond curls. “Mrs. Lindstrom likes you very much, Beth, and I’ve heard you talk about what a great teacher she is.”

“But now it’s different.”

“How?” he asked.

“Just different. You know, because Cassie is sick again,” Beth replied, fidgeting with the blue-satin bow on the teddy bear that sat next to her on the bed. “Do you think I’m too old to keep Brown Bear around?” she asked as she gave the stuffed animal a fierce hug.

“No, not if you still want him, sweetheart.” Eric sat quietly, pondering what he should say next. The problem seemed to be less about what was taking place at school than what was taking place in the rest of Beth’s life. “Honey, Cassie is sick again, that’s true. But it shouldn’t change how you feel about your teacher, how your teacher feels about you…or your behavior in the classroom.”

“But it’s just that—Cassie was Mrs. Lindstrom’s favorite student ever,” Beth emphasized. “I might as well not exist.”

“But Mrs. Lindstrom has kept you after school to go for ice cream, you’ve been to her apartment to meet her husband and see their aquarium. She hasn’t spent time with all the children like that, has she?”

“I don’t know,” Beth answered. “I just know it’s ‘Cassie, this’ and ‘Cassie, that.’ ‘How is your sister feeling, Beth? Will she be coming home soon? Tell us how she’s doing today.’ Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!” She burst into tears and buried her face in her father’s side.

Eric’s arms closed around her a little more tightly. “And it makes you angry because sometimes you want it to be Beth she asks about.” He spoke softly, and she nodded her head while continuing to sob. He sighed. “Mrs. Lindstrom may really be trying to make you feel important by letting you share with the class about your sister’s hospital experiences. It doesn’t mean she loves Cassie more than she loves you, honey.”

“Oh, yes, it does!” Beth cried. “Stuff about Cassie is always more important than stuff about me. Always!”

How was he going to help her find her way through this situation? Maybe he needed a different approach. “It’s hard being the youngest kid in the family, isn’t it?” he remarked. This was something he could identify with. “I was the youngest in my family, too, only I had a sister and a brother older than me. Sometimes that wasn’t any fun at all.”

Beth’s crying began to ease a bit, and she raised her head to study her father’s face through eyes reddened from rubbing. Then the hiccups started; they quite often followed one of her crying spells. Eric smiled as he thought of Hope. Sometimes, the same thing happened with her.

“Really? You were—the—youngest?” Beth hiccuped.

Eric nodded. “Still am. Always will be,” he added. “Of course, neither one of them was seriously ill when we were growing up, so it’s not quite the same as your relationship with Cassie.”

“But, did some of the teachers like Uncle Rob or Aunt Angela better?”

“Yes,” he answered. “My brother and sister were both better students than I was. And much less of a discipline problem, too.”

“You mean, you got into more trouble?”

“Sure did. I’d hate to think how many times your grandmother was called to school over something I’d done.”

Beth laughed between hiccups. “Did she spank you?”

“Sometimes. But as I got older, the punishment changed to being grounded.”

“Like not being allowed to have a friend over to play?”

“Yes, something like that. You see, Rob and Angela were the ones the teachers always liked. By the time I came along, they’d already assumed I was going to be a problem.”

“Did that make you mad?”

Eric shrugged. “Kind of, I guess. But I got used to it over the years. Then, one day, a teacher I really liked—”

“What was her name?”

“Mrs. Flowers.” Eric could still picture that dark-haired older teacher in his mind. “I accused her of liking Rob and Angela better, and she informed me that wasn’t true at all. That she’d always liked me the best, and if I felt that she didn’t like me, that was my own fault for thinking that way. Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment by expecting disappointment.”

“Since you thought the teacher liked them more than she liked you, you felt real bad. Even if she didn’t really like them one bit better.”

He nodded his head and squeezed his little girl affectionately. “Exactly. You’re as special and unique as Cassie is. It’s just that, since she’s sick, she gets the most attention sometimes. Not just from Mom or me, but from teachers and neighbors and friends, too. None of that means you are loved any less than your sister.”

Beth’s young face clouded over again as more tears rose to the surface. “I love Cassie so much, Daddy, but sometimes…I just get so mad at her.”

Eric reached for a couple of tissues and tenderly wiped some trickling tears away. “Because sometimes she seems like the only important person around here?”

Beth nodded and melted into her father’s embrace as the sobbing returned. “She is, sometimes, isn’t she? Because she got hurt and sick and stuff?”

“No,” Eric said emphatically. “She’s never more important than you, hon. Never. It’s just that, sometimes she needs us more at the moment than you do. I know all of this is difficult for you to sort out because you’re so young, but your mother and I love you just as much as we love Cassie. Every bit as much. We always will.”

“Even when I get so mad at her? She can’t help that she’s sick and everybody asks about her.”

“It’s okay to feel that way sometimes. Everyone does,” he explained.

Just then, Eric heard a noise. Glancing up, he saw Hope standing in the doorway with windblown hair and her jacket still on, having just returned from the hospital. She sent Eric a slight frown and a worried look, but he shook his head. He mouthed the words “She’s okay” to relieve her concern.

“If Cassie. dies, I’ll never forgive her,” Beth blurted out between sobs, surprising both of her parents with her words. “Never!”

Eric hugged her snugly against him and rocked back and forth in a soothing motion, wanting to calm her fears. “Cassie’s nearly well, honey. She’ll be home soon, and things will be back to normal. She’s not leaving us.”

“But I want her home now. Nothing’s the same without her. There’s a place in my heart where she fits,” Beth said.

Hope’s hand flew to cover her mouth and silence the cry that threatened to slip out, and Eric’s eyes stung with hot, unshed tears. He kissed the top of Beth’s head and cleared his throat roughly before he could speak again. “Beth, sweetheart, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

Hope blinked several times, fighting the tears welling up in her own eyes. Then she entered the room. “Beth?”

The little girl raised her head to see Hope smiling at her. “Mom,” was all she said as she moved from her father’s arms into her mother’s. Their fierce, clinging hug left Eric with an odd twinge of emptiness. Beth loved him deeply—he knew that. But for the girls, at times, there was no place like the comfort of Hope’s arms. Eric understood that. Sometimes, he felt that way, too.

“You okay?” Hope asked in a whisper against Beth’s soft hair as she closed her eyes and held her daughter close to her heart.

“Yes,” Beth answered. “Daddy and I were just talking about Cassie and Mrs. Lindstrom and stuff.”

“Stuff,’ huh?” Hope teased. “Sounds important.”

“Very,” Eric commented. He stood up, suddenly feeling out of place. “But now that you’re here—”

“No, Daddy. Don’t go. Stay with us for a while,” Beth pleaded. “He doesn’t have to go, does he, Mom?”

“No, he doesn’t have to go.” She turned her gaze to Eric. “Maybe he could come downstairs with us and have some hot chocolate. Okay?” she added.

“Okay, Mom.”

Hope allowed Beth to slide out of her arms, and they started toward the stairs.

“Marshmallows?” Hope asked as she rummaged through a kitchen cabinet. “Where would Grandma keep the marshmallows?”

“Right beside the honey on the top shelf. See it, up high?” Beth was pointing to the package.

“Ah, yes, I do,” Hope responded, stretching to try to grab the cellophane bag.

Eric reached past her, easily retrieved it, then placed it on the counter in front of her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, reaching for cups in the cupboard above the sink. He glanced over at her, wondering if she would drink hot chocolate with them. She had always been the healthy eater in the family, avoiding too much of anything —including chocolate and milk. But he didn’t need to ask. Hope had guessed his question.

“Yes, I’ll have some, too,” she said with a playful smile. “I’m not the picky eater I used to be. I’ve changed some over the last year.”

“We probably both have,” Eric remarked. But he lost his train of thought while studying her delicately carved features and those pretty eyes of cornflower blue. Being around Hope, he knew, wouldn’t be easy. That’s why he’d avoided her for much too long. Because of difficult moments just like this when her mouth curved into one of those gentle smiles he remembered so well. Being near her and not touching her was quite a balancing act. He placed three mugs on the counter and moved away from her to join Beth at the table. “Did Cassie feel better tonight?” he asked to break the silence.

“Yes,” Hope responded. “She really had a lot more energy.” Hope poured milk into the cups and placed them in Grace’s microwave. “Believe it or not, she asked if she could stay alone tonight—first time ever. I told her I’d come home to see Beth, then go back over to the hospital to say good-night and to see if she’d changed her mind.”

She reached out to tug on a lock of her daughter’s light hair, prompting a halfhearted complaint.

“Mom! Stop!”

“All right,” Hope replied. “You really should be asleep, you know? Maybe Dad will tuck you in tonight.” Hope raised her eyes to meet Eric’s gaze—a gaze that seemed to linger on her. “That way I can get back over to the hospital quicker.”

“You stay home with Beth,” he offered. “I’ll go back to the hospital to check on Cass.”

Hope’s expression looked…grateful, he finally decided. She was probably relieved at the thought of enjoying the luxury of a good night’s rest. Not that it was anyone’s fault but Hope’s that she was staying at the hospital too much. Eric stayed whenever Hope agreed to it, which was seldom.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I could use the time here at home.” Then she looked away from Eric and into the cups she had retrieved from the microwave. She then added chocolate to the milk. Home. That word kept popping up in her mind. Why? Probably because Eric was around so much. She set a cup in front of each of them and joined them at the table. Staying here with Ed and Grace could not last long. No, she knew that was out of the question. Ed’s health wasn’t good enough for them to stay here indefinitely. And these were Eric’s parents, not her own—although there were times she nearly forgot that fact. Sometimes she almost wished she didn’t love them quite so much, didn’t feel as comfortable as she always did in their company. Eric’s family had become her family over the years. And that would be difficult to let go of.

“Hope? Are you okay?” Eric asked, his words suddenly cutting through her thoughts and returning her to the present.

“Yes, sorry. I guess I let my mind wander. What were you saying?” She met Eric’s eyes, dark with concern.

“I was asking if the doctor said he might release Cassie soon?”

“Yes, this morning he said that she might get out in a couple of days.” She took a sip of her drink and silently wished she had added a few marshmallows to her own cup. “Beth, would you hand that bag to me?”

Beth complied, and Eric watched in obvious amusement as Hope added a handful of the white fluffy sweetness to her cocoa.

“There couldn’t be much nutritional value in there, Hope,” he remarked to the wife who throughout their marriage had preached the hazards of too much sugar.

Hope shrugged. “The hot chocolate in the vending machines at the hospital has marshmallows in it, and I’ve gotten used to it. Hot chocolate doesn’t taste right without them now.” Kind of like life without Eric, she mused.

Eric excused himself from the table and stood up, delivering his empty cup to the sink. He kissed Beth on the temple. “I’m going to the hospital to see my other little blondie,” he said with a smile that faded as he looked from Beth to Hope. He saw the weariness in her eyes, and it worried him more than he’d say. “Get some rest, hon—” he began, then stopped. But it was too late. He turned his head to look away from the awkward surprise he’d glimpsed in her wide-eyed expression. The mistake had surprised him, too. “‘Hope,’ I mean,” he corrected, trying to bring a quick end to the embarrassing moment. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Thank you,” she said, and nothing else. But one corner of her mouth tipped up into a half smile as she watched him leave. “And thank you, Lord,” she whispered. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they sometimes seemed.

Eric shook his head in frustration after he walked out of the room. How could he let a term of endearment like that slip out so easily? But he already knew the answer. He still thought of her in that way—that’s how. Eric grabbed a jacket from the coatrack near the door, and stepped out into the chilly night air. She was the mother of his children, the best friend he’d ever had…and the woman he loved and wanted. They’d been happy before; all they needed was the chance to begin again. They both deserved to be happy, didn’t they? Surely, God wouldn’t deny them that. Eric glanced up at the black sky as though he could see straight through to God Himself. No, Eric corrected himself, he would never again speculate on what God would or wouldn’t do. He’d seen where that had taken him once before in life. Once was enough.

* * *

“Hi, princess,” Eric greeted Cassie as he entered the familiar hospital room. He gently grabbed a small foot through the soft yellow blanket covering her legs.

“Dad, hi!” Her face lit up when she saw him, and nothing pleased him more.

“So you want to spend a night by yourself, huh?” he asked, pulling her into a brief, but warm embrace. Then he reached for the old green chair he’d grown accustomed to sitting in during this hospital stay.

“Isn’t Trudy here now? I can’t believe you want to stay all night alone if your favorite nurse isn’t on duty.”

“She’s here. She just went to get me some cookies and juice for a bedtime snack. Go home, Dad. I’m ready to try it alone.” Cassie’s smile had a guilty edge to it.

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

“It will be good for you and Mom to both be home tonight. Together. In the same house. Don’t you think?” She giggled.

“So, that’s the motive,” he responded, grabbing her foot and tickling it while she laughed. “I knew there was something going on in that smart little brain of yours. You think your mother and I need help with our relationship?”

“Dad, I think you need all the help you can get.”

Then it was Eric’s turn to laugh. Mostly in surprise. “Thanks a lot for your confidence in dear old Dad,” he remarked, then took more serious note of what Cassie was implying. “I can’t promise things will work out with us. Be patient. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Do you still love Mom?”

“Yes, Cassie. I’ll always love your mother.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Always.”

Now, all he needed was a way to prove it—to the girls, and to Hope.

Chapter Three

“How can you let them treat you that way, Hope?” Eric’s words had been quiet, but firm. He’d returned home to find Hope in the middle of a long-distance telephone conversation with her mother. And he hadn’t liked the part he’d overheard. “You deserve better than that.”

“You handle your parents your way, and I’ll handle mine my way,” Hope replied. Discussing her relationship with her parents was never easy with Eric. He always defended her too much, sided with her more than she felt he should. Didn’t he understand her motivation for any of this?

Eric studied her determined expression. Her sapphire eyes were as fiery as her temper, and she was. just as beautiful angry as she was at any other time. He had to force himself to concentrate on the subject of their discussion: her relationship with her parents. “You let them walk all over you. Tell them what you think about their attitude. Tell them not to say those things—”

“Don’t,” Hope said, and lifted her hand as if she could stop his words. “We don’t need to talk about this. It always upsets you.” She turned, thinking that leaving the room might be the best thing. She didn’t want to argue with him, and Eric didn’t seem to understand her reasoning at all. But as she moved to leave, she was stopped inadvertently by a surprised Grace, who had heard their exchange of words.

“Excuse me, Grace. I’m going to bed,” she said. She longed to hurry past her mother-in-law and escape to the solitude of her bedroom, but Grace’s hand closed gently around Hope’s forearm.

“Wait, just for a moment. Eric, why are you so hard on her?” Grace asked gently.

“Don’t, Mom,” Eric warned. “This is something Hope and I have never agreed on, and you don’t want to get yourself into the middle of an old argument.” He looked at his wife, but she didn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry if I offended you, Hope. I just hate to see you hurt by them.” Then he looked back at his mother. “Her parents don’t like me. They never did,” he explained. “I guess that makes me overly defensive when they do something hurtful.”