Secret Affairs: The End of Faking It / Her Secret Fling / The Ultimate Risk

His muscles bunched and rippled beneath her clutching hands. Displaying a scary kind of strength, he scooped her up again and flattened her against the wet wall. His hands cupped her, spreading her so he could thrust straight in. She wound her legs around his waist and had no hope of controlling anything. Not her instinctive rhythm, her screams, her next orgasm. Not when he held her and kissed her and claimed her so completely.

The water ran down them as they leaned together, taking for ever for their breath to ease.

‘Are you okay?’ he finally spoke. ‘That wasn’t too uncomfortable?’

She mock-punched his arm. ‘Carter.’

He started to laugh. And then she laughed too.

‘You sure you didn’t mind?’ His laugh became a groan as he carefully curved his hands around her hips.

How could she mind that? ‘Give me half an hour and then do it again, will you?’

‘You don’t need half an hour.’ He swung her into his arms and carried her back to his bed. And made love to every inch of her all over again.

Monday morning she couldn’t move. Wouldn’t. Point blank refused to let the weekend be over. She screwed her eyes shut when he appeared by the bed dressed in one of his killer suits. ‘Don’t ask me to get up yet. Please.’

She just wanted to snuggle in the sheets and enjoy absolute physical abandonment. He was perfect. He was playful. He wasn’t ever going to ask anything more of her. And now he was fresh from the shower.

All she could let herself think about was this. She buried herself in his sensuality, blinding herself to everything else that was so attractive about him. Ignoring the ways in which they were so compatible.

But the humour she couldn’t avoid—not when he brought it into bed with them.

He tugged the sheet from her body; she stretched and squealed with the pleasure-pain of well-worn muscles. She really didn’t want to get up yet. But then he unzipped his trousers. Delighted, she scrunched a little deeper into the mattress.

‘Oh, my,’ she murmured as he straddled her. ‘You want me to set a personal record or something?’

‘Well, it’s like anything—the more practice you have, the better you get.’

‘Then hurry up and practise with me.’ Oh, she was so into it now—utterly free in the physical play with him.

His brows lifted.

‘Come on,’ she begged. ‘You’ll have me hit orgasm just from thinking about it soon.’ Just from thinking about him.

‘You’re complaining?’

‘No,’ she giggled as he nuzzled down her stomach like a playful lion.

Suddenly he stopped and looked up her body into her eyes. ‘Seriously, though, you’re not too sore?’

She arched, brazenly lifting her hips to him. ‘Don’t you dare stop!’

Monday sucked. Monday meant other people were in the office—meaning he couldn’t go and kiss her freely. So Carter locked himself in his office and ploughed on with the tedious task of hunting for tiny financial irregularities. He didn’t move from his desk for hours—just to prove to himself that he could concentrate for that long. Because all he really wanted to do was hang out by Penny’s desk and talk to her. He wanted to spend every minute with her, resenting the job he had to do, even though it was because of the job that he’d met her in the first place.

Tuesday sucked just as much—another night had gone and the ones remaining felt too few. Stupid. Because he’d achieved his aim—she was wholly his and he had the rest of the week to indulge and that should totally be enough.

And now he’d just found the needle in the haystack. He carefully pulled it out to inspect it—drawing with it the thread that could unravel the whole company. Once he’d followed the poison all the way to the source, and gathered the documentation, his job was done.

Success all round.

He could go back to his own business, in another city, and get on with it. So he didn’t need to feel this rubbish.

Wednesday he was even more grumpy, the evidence was almost complete, but Penny was out and he wanted her to hurry up and get back so they could go to lunch. He went up to her office to see if she was back. There was someone there, but it wasn’t Penny. It was her brother.

‘Hi, Matt.’ Carter held out his hand. ‘Penny’s not here. She’s taken some stuff to Mason. She shouldn’t be more than another half-hour.’

‘Oh.’ The younger man shifted on his feet. ‘I can’t wait. I have to get to the airport.’

‘She’ll be sorry she missed you.’ Man, her family was awful at communication. This past fortnight he’d been away, Carter and his dad had Skyped a couple of times, and he’d been sent the latest picture of Nick looking cute. There were no excuses in the technology age. But Matt looked so disappointed, Carter felt bad for him. ‘I’ll walk out with you.’ He led him back to the lift. ‘Conference was good?’

‘Yeah.’ Matt smiled but looked distracted.

‘You want a taxi called?’ Carter blinked as they got out in the broad sunshine.

Matt didn’t answer, still looked both disappointed and distracted. ‘You’ll take care of her, won’t you?’ he suddenly said. ‘She needs lots of support. She’s been cut off for so long.’

Yeah, that was pretty obvious. Carter waited. Because Matt looked as if he had something on his mind he wanted to share. And it didn’t look like happy thoughts.

‘She hasn’t been back home since she went away. Not once. That’s seven years.’ Matt stared across the street. ‘Mum and Dad are desperate for her to. Maybe she’d come with you.’

‘I’ll talk to her about it.’ That and a few other things. Carter wanted to know so much more. Like everything.

‘I know I shouldn’t have mentioned Isabelle. But I wanted to see what would happen.’

Carter knew he was in murky waters without any floatation device, so he just nodded and waited. For tunately Matt soon filled the gap.

‘I saw you taking care of that.’

Carter faked a small smile. He supposed kissing her was one way of taking care. Pretty basic but it had been effective at the time.

‘I didn’t think she was ever going to get over Dan and get that close to another guy,’ Matt continued. ‘When she started mentioning you in emails I couldn’t believe it. For a while I thought she might have been making you up. But you’re real. And I can see how it is between you.’

Carter’s brain processed even faster than its usual warp-factor speed. Dan? Who the hell was Dan? Hadn’t they been talking about someone called Isabelle?

‘She looks better. She looks fitter than she did when I saw her in Tokyo last year,’ Matt added. ‘You’re obviously good for her.’

Anger flared in Carter’s chest. What did it matter if she looked fit? Maybe this was why she didn’t want to see her family—were they too obsessed with a perfect image? Who cared if she put on a few extra pounds or didn’t swim her lengths so religiously? He sure as hell didn’t. He just liked her laughing. So he answered roughly. ‘She likes my cooking.’

‘After he died she never used to eat with us.’ Matt shook his head. ‘Those last months it was like she wasn’t there. She didn’t want to be. She got so skinny you could see every vertebra in her spine. Every rib. Every bloody bone.’

The bottom fell out of Carter’s world completely. He couldn’t speak at all now. He stared at Matt, replaying the words, reading the tension etched on the younger guy’s face.

‘But she seems really happy now.’ Matt cleared his throat and kept staring hard at some building over the road. ‘I want her to stay that way.’

Was that why Matt had looked so pleased to see her eating that chocolate mousse? Because Penny had once been so sad she’d starved herself sick? Tension tightened every muscle. Carter folded his arms across his chest to hide his fists.

‘She’s not going to move again, is she? She’s settled, with you, right?’

Carter’s brain was still rushing and he didn’t know how he could possibly reply to that.

‘Because it’s coming up to moving time for her but she’s not going to now, right?’ Matt turned sharply to look at him.

Carter put his hand on Matt’s shoulder—to shut him up as much as anything. ‘Don’t worry.’ He avoided answering the question directly. ‘I’ll take care of her.’

‘Yeah,’ Matt croaked. ‘Thanks for caring about her.’

Matt was avoiding his eyes again now and Carter was glad because he wouldn’t have been able to hide his total confusion.

‘I better get going.’

Carter fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a business card. ‘Stay in touch.’

Matt handed him his too. Carter pocketed it and got back into the building as fast as he could. Then he took the stairs—slowly.

Dan. Who the hell was Dan?

Some guy who had died. And Matt hadn’t thought Penny would get close to another guy again. Penny, who hadn’t been home since …

Seven years ago she’d have been seventeen or eighteen. It didn’t take much to work it out. While he’d yet to figure Isabelle’s place in the picture, the essentials were obvious.

Dan must have been Penny’s first love—and hadn’t she once said the first left a real mark? That it was never just sex? Carter felt sick, hated thinking that Penny had suffered something bad.

He’d never felt that kind of heartbreak. He’d been betrayed—but that had meant more burnt pride than a seriously minced-up heart. And since then he hadn’t let another woman close enough to inflict any serious damage. But to love someone so deeply and lose them, especially at such a young age? Yeah, that changed people. That really hurt people.

And weirdly, right now, Carter felt hurt she’d held back that information from him. Which was dumb, because it wasn’t as if they’d set out for anything more meaningful than some fun.

But he knew how bereavement could affect people. Hadn’t he seen it in his dad? His parents had been soul mates, so happy until the cancer stole his mum away decades too soon. And his father hadn’t coped—couldn’t bear to be alone—walking from one wrong relationship to the next. Searching, searching, searching for the same bliss. And every time failing because nothing could live up to that ideal.

For the first time he felt a modicum of sympathy for his father’s subsequent wives. Imagine always knowing they came in second. They could never compete with that golden memory. But Lucinda was trying, wasn’t she? Giving Carter’s dad the one thing he’d wanted so badly—more family. And sticking with him now for years longer than Carter had ever thought she would—providing the sense of home and security that had been gone so long. Carter’s respect for her proliferated just like that.

Then his attention lurched back to Penny. Questions just kept coming faster and faster, falling over themselves and piling into a heap of confusion in his head. He wanted to know everything. He wanted to understand it all.

But he didn’t want to have to ask her—to hear her prevaricate, or dismiss, or, worse, lie. He wanted her to tell him the truth. He wanted her to trust him enough to do that. The hurt feeling in his chest deepened. Somehow he didn’t think that was going to happen in a hurry.

He knew it was wrong. But he was a details man and he’d get as many as he could, however he could, because he was low on advantage points. In the office he opened the filing cabinet and pulled her personnel file. Her being a temp, there wasn’t much—just a copy of her CV, security clearance and the references from the agency. Brilliant ones. But it was the CV that he focused on. The list of jobs was almost a mile long. And so were the towns. She’d been serious about her travelling. She’d moved at almost exactly the same time each year. Britain, Spain, Czech Republic, Greece, Japan, Australia.

The regularity with which she’d moved made his blood run cold. Never more than a year in the one town. He looked on the front of the file that recorded the date she’d started at Nicholls—seven months already. But she’d worked at another temp job in the city for four months before that. So her year in Sydney was almost up. When that time ticked over would she move to another place? If so, where? There seemed to be no pattern to the destinations. She just moved, running away—from something big.

Had her heart been that broken? His own thudded painfully because there was someone in her past whose death had cut her up so badly. Who’d put her off relationships—so far for life. She acted as if she wanted fun but she could hardly let herself have it—not really. She wasn’t the brazen huntress he’d first thought. Not selfish or self-centred. Certainly not any kind of free spirit. She worked conscientiously—and she cared. She was a generous giver who struggled to accept the same when it was offered in return. And hadn’t he seen it those few times—the vulnerability and loneliness in her eyes?

She was hiding from something even she couldn’t admit to.

He flicked through the CV again and another little fact caught him. She’d been Head Girl at her school? He half laughed. No wonder she’d been interested when he’d mentioned he was Head Boy. And she’d said nothing, secretive wench. He looked closer. Her grades were stellar. Really stellar. He frowned—why hadn’t she gone to university? She would have had her pick of colleges and courses with grades like those. But she’d gone overseas as soon as school had finished and she hadn’t been back. She must have been devastated. And for all the party-girl, clubbing life she lived now, she obviously still was.

His upset deepened. He hated that she covered up so much. He liked her. He wanted to know she was okay. He wanted to be her friend. He actually wanted more.

Well. That was new.

He’d never met a woman who held back her emotions the way she did. Okay, he’d freed her from one aspect of that control. Maybe he could cut her loose from another? Even if he suspected it was going to hurt him to try. Could he bear to know the extent to which she’d loved that guy?

Pathetic as it was, he was jealous. She’d cared so much for Dan she’d been devastated. Carter wanted her to care about him instead.

But how could he ever compete with the perfect first love? He winced even as he thought that thought. He didn’t have to. He didn’t want her so totally like that—did he? Did he really want to be the one and only, the number one man in her life?

No. Surely not.

But in a scarily short amount of time she’d become important to him. Her happiness had become important to him. And he wanted her to trust him enough to talk. Sure she’d opened up sexually—but it was the only way she’d opened up. And in some ways it was another shield in itself. Just a fling—it was the defence he’d used for years himself, even with Penny to begin with. And hadn’t it turned around to bite him now? He’d never been in a situation so confusing, so complicated. An adulterous older woman and a manipulative girlfriend seeking an engagement ring had nothing on Penny and her inability to share. Hell, she must have such fear.

His anger deepened because he wanted her to be over it and feel free to fall in love again. Preferably with him.

In the evening at his apartment she was the same smiling flirt, teasing him, talking it up—the banter that, while fun, didn’t go deep. He had to bite the inside of his lips, bursting inside to ask her what had happened. Desperate to know where her heart was at now. But he wanted her to offer it, not to have to force it.

She let him lie between her legs, all warm and impishly malleable, smiling at him delightfully. It wasn’t enough.

He kissed her tenderly. As if she were one of the fragile flowers she said she didn’t like.

‘Don’t.’ She frowned and swept her hands across his back. He knew she was trying to hurry him.

‘Don’t what?’

‘Be so nice.’

He carefully studied her. ‘You think you don’t deserve someone being nice to you?’

She just closed her eyes.

And then he didn’t even pretend to let her take the lead. He dominated. Intensely focused on making love to her. It was about more than just giving her pleasure, but about bringing her closer to him any way he could.

Afterwards he lay holding her sealed to him, refusing to let her wriggle even an inch away, telling her more about his work in Melbourne. Stupid stories about his youth. Trying to grow the connection between them. To build trust. Blindly hoping she might talk back.

But all she did was listen.

CHAPTER NINE

CARTER took a taxi to Mason. He had the files; the job was done. In theory, after this meeting, he was free to fly out. But he couldn’t bring himself to book a ticket.

The old man had aged more in the last week than he had in the last ten years. Guilt squeezed Carter—he should have been to see him sooner. But Penny had been making daily visits with paperwork and sundry items. Even so.

‘I’ve got the information you need.’ He dragged out a smile and put the small packet of printouts on the dining table. ‘It’s all there. Once spotted, the pattern is pretty obvious.’

‘I knew I could rely on you.’ Mason sank heavily into his favourite chair.

‘Get in your auditors. It won’t take much to sort it out.’

‘He’ll have to be prosecuted.’

‘Yes.’ Carter nodded. ‘But I think the impact will be minimal because we caught him.’ He tried to put the best spin on it. ‘And quickly too. If anything the investors should be impressed at the efficiency of your system checks.’

‘It was instinct, Carter.’ Mason shook his head. ‘Just a feeling.’

‘Well, you’ve always had good instincts, Mason.’

‘And now my instinct is telling me I’ve failed.’

‘In what way?’ Surprised, Carter nearly spilt the coffee he was pouring.

‘That company is my life.’ Mason stared past him to the big painting on the wall. ‘And in the current climate it could have been swept away so quickly if this had got out of hand. It makes me wonder what’s going to be left after I’m gone. It’ll probably be bought out, the name will go. It’ll be finished.’

Carter inhaled deeply. Mason had long been his mentor. He’d admired the dedication, the drive, the single-minded chase for success. And there had been huge success. ‘You’ve already built an amazing legacy, Mason.’

Mason lifted his arms. ‘What is there? A house? A few paintings that will be auctioned off? Where are the memories? Where’s the warmth?’

The unease in Carter’s chest grew. Mason’s wife had died early on in their marriage—before they’d had time to have kids. And Mason had buried his heart alongside her. As far as Carter was aware there hadn’t been another woman—totally unlike his father. Until now Carter had always respected Mason more for that. But now he wasn’t so sure—not when he was confronted with Mason’s obvious regrets. And loneliness. Another lonely person. ‘You’ve given so much to charity, Mason. You’ve helped so many people.’

‘Who have their own lives and families.’ Mason sighed. ‘I shouldn’t have been such a coward. I should have tried to meet someone else. But I just worked instead.’

‘And you’ve done great work. You’ve employed lots of people, you helped lots of people.’ That was a massive achievement.

But personally fulfilling? Yes and no.

‘How’s Nick?’ Mason asked.

Carter’s grin flashed before he even thought. ‘He’s a little dude.’

‘Your father is a braver man than me. I regret not having a family. I regret devoting all my life to accumulating paper.’

‘Hey.’ Carter leaned forward and put his hand on Mason’s arm. ‘You have me.’

Mason said nothing for a bit, just stirred the milk in his coffee. Then he set the teaspoon to the side. ‘Is everything else at the office okay?’

‘Penny has it all under control.’

‘Told you she was an angel.’

Carter winced through a deep sip of the burning-hot coffee. ‘Yeah.’

A broken angel.

He sat back in his chair and settled in for the afternoon. He’d hang with Mason. He needed the time out to think.

Penny had been desperate for Carter to return from Mason’s—he’d gone to hand over what tricks he’d found but he’d been gone for hours and, being a complete Carter addict, she was antsy with unfulfilled need. Resenting the waste of the precious few minutes she had left. Finally he showed up, just as she was about to pack up and go to her own flat and cry.

So she went to his apartment instead. She had no shame, no thought of saying no. They only had a night or two left, and she wanted every possible moment with him. Because she wasn’t thinking of anything beyond the present moment. She couldn’t let herself.

He was unusually quiet as they walked into the apartment building. Maybe it hadn’t gone well.

‘Was Mason okay?’ She finally broke the silence.

His shoulders jerked dismissively. ‘Pleased with getting the result.’

Okay. He didn’t just look moody, he sounded it too. Once inside, he tossed the key on the table and turned to look at her.

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