Four Little Problems

Shaking his head, he went around to the driver’s side and got in. “I’ll follow you home.” His voice was resigned, as if he faced impending death.

“Patrick, I promise Jason will be on his very best behavior.”

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

EMILY PARKED and waited for Patrick to set the SUV alarm.

She prayed, silently, that the house would be somewhat presentable.

Patrick approached, eyeing the front of her home. “Nice. With all those planting beds, you must be quite a gardener.”

Shrugging, Emily said, “I should have tulips coming up soon if the weather holds. And I’ll add a few annuals, but nothing fancy, I’m afraid.” She fit the key in the lock, her mouth dry. She felt very, very vulnerable inviting Patrick Stevens into her home.

The sight that greeted her made her want to turn tail and run. To Patrick Stevens, it would seem like the inmates were running the asylum. And a chaotic asylum at that.

“Come in.” Her voice was weak.

Of course, it could have been because she was drowned out by the cacophony of blaring TV, a barking dog, yowling cats and screaming children.

Emily wished the ground would swallow her whole.

When it didn’t, she squared her shoulders and entered the fray. She caught Mark by the arm as he raced past her. “Whoa.” Then she snagged Ryan by the neck of his superhero pajamas. “What’s going on here. Where’s Jason?”

Both boys laughed uproariously, as if she’d entered the comedy hall of fame. Their red fruit-drink mustaches made them look like slightly insane clowns.

She gripped Mark’s arm a little tighter. “I said, where is Jason?” she asked between clenched teeth.

The boys apparently scented danger through their sugar-induced high and settled down immediately.

Ryan pointed toward the family room. “Watchin’ TV.”

Emily frowned. She’d blocked the Playboy Channel, so she was pretty sure it wasn’t a porn problem. Marching around the corner, she realized maybe the porn channel would have been the lesser of two evils.

“Ja-son.” It came out high-pitched.

But Jason didn’t seem to hear. Neither did his girlfriend, Cassie.

Truth be told, Emily couldn’t tell where Jason left off and Cassie began, they were so intertwined. Fortunately, both seemed to be fully clothed. And there were two feet touching the floor. Cassie’s by the looks of them.

“Cassie.” It was whispered, almost a hiss. And perfectly pitched to get through the haze of lust hanging in the room.

Cassie shot to a sitting position, adjusting her clothes. “Um, Mrs. Patterson, hi.”

“Time for you to go, Cass.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She threw a geometry book in her backpack and scrambled for the door.

“Jason, I’ve been very clear that friends aren’t allowed over when I’m not home. I would suggest you go up to your room and we’ll discuss this later.” Certain death was promised in her tone, and Jason for once heeded the warning.

His eyes widened when he glanced past her and saw his nemesis, Patrick Stevens, standing in their living room.

Jason vaulted the coffee table and took the stairs two at a time.

“I haven’t seen him move that fast in months.” Emily released a shaky breath.

“Last time I saw him move that fast was after there was a small explosion in the boys’ restroom.” Patrick’s tone was dry. He shook his head mournfully, as if to say, “What did I expect?”

Emily wanted to sit down in the middle of the floor and cry.

But there was still one child left unaccounted for.

“Where’s Jeremy?”

“Upstairs. Reading.”

Jeremy, the good child. At least she’d been blessed with one kid who seemed to have both feet on the ground. Literally, and figuratively speaking.

“What’s Clifford barking about?” she asked.

Both boys shrugged.

“He was howlin’ earlier,” Mark offered.

Oh, no. “What did you feed him? He only howls when he’s about to—”

Emily slapped a hand over her mouth. She advanced on the black Lab, grasping him by the collar and marching him out the door.

That left only the two cats barreling through the house as if possessed.

“Catnip?” She didn’t really need to ask.

The boys nodded and giggled.

“You two say good-night to Mr. Stevens, go brush your teeth and get to bed. And I better see clean teeth, not just wet toothbrushes. I’m on to that trick.”

The boys stepped in front of Patrick, gazing upward with awe. “G’night, Mr. Stevens.”

“Good night, boys,” came his strangled reply.

Emily wouldn’t have been surprised if Patrick had run from the house screaming.

But instead, his eyes sparkled, as if he were having a hard time containing laughter.

And for some reason that made Emily mad.

“Mark, Ryan, bed. Now.”

They trotted up the stairs, the picture of obedience.

Then Emily turned her attention to Patrick, who grinned.

“You think it’s funny? You think you could do better? I might just leave right now. As the only adult, you’re honor bound to watch them until I get back.” She’d made up the rule, but it sounded good.

And evidently Patrick took her at her word, because he became very serious. The Patrick she was accustomed to.

“Yes, ma’am.”

If he saluted, she’d have to kill him.

Fortunately, he didn’t.

PATRICK WAS VERY AWARE of Emily’s presence as she peered over his shoulder at the computer screen.

“Nothing there,” she said. “Next page?”

“You’re sure you read that?”

“I can speed read.”

Evidently, he must’ve allowed his shock to show.

“What? Lots of people speed read.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’re right.”

“Or are you just surprised I know how to read the words with more than one syllable?”

Patrick winced. She was dead on.

“Why is it that men assume I must be stupid? Just because I’m, um, full-figured and tell a joke here and there.”

He eyed her cautiously over his shoulder. She made him nervous, standing so close, her breath warm on his ear. If he turned a fraction more, he’d have a tantalizing view of the lace playing hide-and-seek with her cleavage.

“Voluptuous and irreverent.”

“What?”

“That’s how I think of you.”

“Oh.”

Emily remained silent after that.

He hoped she knew he meant it as a compliment. And hoped she didn’t realize how totally distracting the combination was.

Closing his eyes, he tried to summon the image of Ari and Kat, laughing at the antics of dolphins.

It worked. Emily’s curves were no longer an issue. Patrick was a man with a mission.

The documents flew by, a journal-like testimonial to how overscheduled Tiffany Bigelow had been.

Along about page four, Patrick started to sweat. Tiffany had apparently been unwilling or unable to refuse a single request for funds. A little mental math told him she’d promised more money than the PTO was likely to raise in four years, let alone four months.

His heart sank. He no longer wanted to think about Ari and Kat at Sea World. Because, instead, all he saw was the sad acceptance in their dark eyes. And the I-knew-it-was-too-good-to-be-true slump to Kat’s shoulders. Worse would be Ari’s devastation, because he’d believed Patrick’s promises with his whole being.

Emily’s home, a place that had initially seemed chaotic yet warm, now started to close in on him. He needed to escape, to think. To figure out some way to make this work.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “A blank disk?”

Emily didn’t respond.

When he turned, he realized she’d been too shocked to speak. Her eyes were wide and unseeing, her lips trembled.

“I said, do you have a blank disk?” His voice came out harsher than he intended.

She leaned over his shoulder to open the cabinet door.

He barely noticed how close those voluptuous curves were. All he could comprehend was that he was royally screwed.

Emily handed him a floppy disk.

She was silent as he copied the disk, then accepted her copy with a murmured thank-you. She walked him to the door, saying a quiet goodbye.

And when he stopped in the doorway and turned, she didn’t try to conceal the sadness in her deep brown eyes. “I’m sorry, Patrick. It looks like there are going to be a lot of disappointed people. It’ll be a free-for-all for any funds we locate.”

“Yeah, well, you do what you have to do.” He raised his hand in a silent goodbye.

CHAPTER FOUR

EMILY TIPTOED into Ryan’s room and watched him sleep. This was what mattered. Not how much money was missing from the PTO fund and not how many teachers would probably hate her guts.

She recalled Patrick’s frown when he’d suggested she do what she needed to do. It had almost sounded like a threat, except for the tinge of sadness in his voice.

She brushed hair off Ryan’s forehead. He appeared so sweet and angelic when asleep. Faint traces of his red fruit-drink mustache were the only evidence of his night of six-year-old debauchery.

Smiling, she counted her blessings. Her children were precious and she wouldn’t trade them for anything. Not even a spotless, peaceful house.

Tiptoeing from his room, she stopped outside Jason’s door. A thin strip of light shone beneath.

Emily threw back her shoulders and prepared to do battle, when all she really wanted was a hot bath and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

She tapped softly and entered, allowing Jason enough time to cover up for modesty if he wasn’t dressed, but not enough time to hide serious mischief—like bomb-making or drugs. Sighing, Emily knew she would have been shocked to find Jason doing something illegal or dangerous. But then again, it was often the parents who were the last to know.

Her gaze swept the room till she located her son slouching on the bed. Fortunately, he was dressed and there were no signs of a felony in progress.

Emily suppressed an urge to grab him by his shirtfront and shake some sense into him. Instead, she perched on the edge of his bed. “We have a rule, Jase, because I think it’s important. You broke that rule tonight.”

“We were only studying.”

Emily mentally counted to ten. Not only was he lying, but by doing so, he implied she was too stupid to comprehend what she’d seen. “What? You were studying Cassie’s tonsils with your tongue?”

“Mom!”

“I thought I could trust you.” His betrayal hurt. She depended on him to take care of the smaller children.

“Really, we were studying. But we started kissing like two seconds before you got home and—”

“Even if I believed that, it means you weren’t watching your brothers during those few seconds. That’s all it takes for a child to drown or start a fire. I expect you to act responsibly when you’re in charge of your brothers.”

“Mark and Ryan are fine.”

“No thanks to you. Which brings me to my second point. A teenage girl and boy home alone together is not a good thing. I don’t care how trustworthy you are—and I like Cassie—but things get out of hand really quickly. I think it’s about time for us to have a refresher talk about pregnancy and STDs.”

His face blanched. “Please, Mom, not that. Can’t you just ground me?”

The irony made Emily want to smile. She was so incredibly uncool and embarrassing to her kids. But a smart mother used it to her advantage. “It’s late. I’ll spare you the safe sex discussion tonight. But we will discuss it. And until then, you’re grounded.”

Relief flashed in Jason’s blue eyes, so reminiscent of his father’s. Oh, how she loved this headstrong child. And how it terrified her that he might do something stupid to derail his life. “Choices, Jase. Every choice you make has the possibility of changing your life, good or bad.”

Jason’s eyes started to glaze over. She could tell he’d escaped to whatever alternate reality he inhabited when she lectured. Sighing, he said, “I’m tired, Mom.”

“Yes, so am I.” Bone tired from nonstop problems and decision-making. “We’ll talk tomorrow morning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Jason?”

“Huh?”

“I love you.”

His frown deepened as if she’d used some horrible curse. She hoped, underneath his tough exterior, that he still enjoyed hearing his mom tell him she loved him. Because she intended to keep at it indefinitely. Some days, that was all she had to give.

When no response was forthcoming, Emily turned to leave.

“Mom?”

She stopped, her hand on the knob. “Yes?” Maybe he’d say those four little words she longed to hear.

I love you, Mom. She could almost see him as a pudgy toddler, handing her a wilted dandelion. What a sweet, sweet child he’d been. Until puberty.

Jason frowned. “What was he doing here?”

“Hm?” For a moment she’d forgotten their visitor. “Mr. Stevens stopped by to copy a disk containing PTO records.”

“He’s not coming back, is he?”

“Not that I know of. Why do you ask?”

“Um, you’re not, like, dating him or anything, are you?”

The horror in Jason’s voice made Emily laugh. The boy had a vivid imagination. “No, Jason, I’m not dating him.”

“WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, Nancy?” Emily almost forgot her problems as she took a bite of double cheeseburger. A large order of french fries beckoned, promising to make her forget her doubts. Two days had gone by since they’d retrieved the disk and Emily was no closer to figuring out a solution.

Nancy speared lettuce and marinated chicken, pausing to say, “I wish I had an easy answer, but I don’t. Looks to me like you have two choices. One, throw up your hands and declare the school year a disaster. Because of Tiffany’s duplicity, nobody would blame you.”

Emily shifted in her seat. She didn’t want to admit defeat.

“Or, two, you start organizing fund-raising campaigns like crazy. It’ll be hard, but at least you can salvage a few of the smaller programs.”

“Yes, you’re right. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a quitter. I’ll need some help, though.”

“You can count on me.” Nancy sipped her iced tea. Blotting her lips with her napkin, she said, “I bet there’s fund-raising information on the Internet.”

“I’ll do some surfing tonight. I’d like to ask one of the previous presidents for some ideas, if I can do it without spilling the beans about Tiffany. Remember, not a word to anyone.”

“Cross my heart. You mentioned Patrick Stevens was at your house?”

“Just to copy the disk.”

“Sure. The disk.”

“It’s the truth.” Emily’s cheeks warmed. “Why is everyone reading more into this than there really is?”

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Nancy leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. “Are you blushing? In the three years we’ve been friends, I’ve never seen you blush.”

“You’re imagining things. Patrick can’t stand me. And I’m not too thrilled about him, either.” Emily felt a twinge of doubt. “But he did say I’m irreverent and voluptuous.”

Nancy grinned. “Aha! I was right. And that’s the perfect description—irreverent and voluptuous.”

“Have you forgotten the whole thing with Jason? Even if he asked me out, do you think I’d really be interested in a man who was so cold to my son?”

“No, I guess not.” She reached across the table to pat Emily’s hand. “Sorry, Em, I just want you to find someone special like Beau.”

“They broke the mold with that Texan.”

“Yes, they certainly did. But we can find you someone just as good in his own way.”

Emily raised her hand, palm outward. “No more fix-ups. I love you like a sister, but no more blind dates.”

“Too bad it didn’t work out with Luke Andrews. He’s so nice and steady, owns his own business.”

“He’s a very nice man. But boring with a capital B. I thought if I had to hear about hardware or plumbing supplies one more minute, I was gonna scream.”

“And I guess Patrick Stevens falls into the boring category, too. Those scientific types usually are. I had a chemistry professor once who talked with this nasal monotone. Put me to sleep every time.”

Emily thought about it for a minute. “Patrick is sanctimonious, bordering on pompous, but he has moments of almost being a real person.”

“Real is good. And he is attractive in an intense way.”

“Why are we even having this discussion?” Emily knew she needed to nip this in the bud or her friend would be in all-out matchmaking mode. “I’ve decided dating isn’t for me. My children are my focus.”

“Aw, Em, I hate to see you give up on having that happily-ever-after. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.”

Emily suppressed a twinge of envy. “I’ve never seen a couple that fits together like you and Beau. It’s like you two were made for each other.”

“But I didn’t always think that way, remember? As I recall, a very good friend encouraged me to give him a chance.”

“Beau’s a good man. He just took a few wrong turns on his way to finding you.”

“Maybe Patrick’s taken a few wrong turns, too. Maybe he regrets the whole episode with Jason as much as you do.”

“He hasn’t said anything. He even saw Jason the other night. Although it probably looked to him as if my kids were raised by wolves.” Rolling her eyes, she described their arrival.

Nancy laughed till she had tears in her eyes. “Oh, Em, but that’s the beauty of your home. It’s never boring and there’s always lots of love and laughter.”

Emily grumbled. “Just once, I’d like people to think of me like they thought of Tiffany Bigelow. How together and smart I am.”

“You are together and smart.”

“Till I stick my foot in my mouth. Like with that edible panty distributor who always hounded me for a date. He asked what he could do to increase our order, and I suggested they develop an edible panty that didn’t taste like the fruit chewy snacks I put in my kids’ lunches. I don’t care how much men like the things, women aren’t going to feel sexy if they associate the aroma with sack lunches.”

Nancy sputtered and set down her soda. “You had a valid point.”

“Probably, but the guy never asked me to dinner again. Why couldn’t I just come up with something cute and classy?”

“You actually did the man a favor. You gave him solid feedback on how crummy his product was. Unless, of course, he’s so wrapped up in his work, so to speak, he identified his product with his, um, equipment.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Oh, great, now I’ve probably left the man impotent for life, when all I was trying to do was help.”

Nancy leaned back in her chair and laughed. “See, Em, you make me laugh. We just need to find a man who understands your sense of humor and isn’t intimidated.”

“Like such a man exists.”

“How about Parents Flying Solo? Any new guys there?”

“No, though I have to admit, I haven’t made many meetings lately. I’ve been too busy. Besides, it’s not the same now that you and Beau aren’t there anymore. Did you hear who was elected president?”

Nancy shook her head.

Emily updated her on the latest happenings at the parenting support group. The next half hour flew by as they moved on to other topics, chatting about their children and Nancy’s real estate business.

Emily was still smiling when she returned to work.

Her smile faded when she saw two police officers in the waiting area.

Olivia immediately came out of her office as if she’d been watching for Emily’s arrival. Good thing she hadn’t taken a long lunch.

“Emily, these officers are here to see you.” Olivia frowned, her eyes warm with concern. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

Emily’s stomach tensed with dread.

The older officer introduced them and got straight to the point. “A report has been filed about certain irregularities in the Elmwood Elementary School PTO account. I spoke with Brad Bigelow this morning. He indicates you went by his house last night and asked for a computer file?”

“Um, yes. I’ve taken over as PTO president and I hoped the, um, disk might clarify some questions.”

“Principal Ross filed a report this morning about the missing funds. Kind of coincidental that you spoke with her yesterday and retrieved the disk last night. Interfering with an investigation is serious business, ma’am.”

“But there wasn’t an investigation yet.”

He nodded. “Technically, you’re right. But you were aware there would be. There could be a question of whether you tampered with the disk.”

“I did not tamper with it.” But her conscience twinged. Should she tell them she’d made copies of the disk? No. Tampering meant changing or destroying—copying hadn’t changed the original one bit. “I was hoping there might be information that would clear all this up and the police wouldn’t have to be involved.”

The officer held her gaze. “How closely did you work with Mrs. Bigelow?”

Emily forced herself not to blink, not to glance away. “I might have said hello to her at a PTO meeting, but for the most part, she didn’t think I was quite up to her standards.”

The officer’s eyes twinkled for a moment and he almost cracked a smile. “Yes, I understand she could be very, um, particular.”

Emily glanced at his badge. Officer G. Kirk. Jason played basketball with a Kirk. That must be his son. And she recalled hearing that his wife had had words with Tiffany over a school slogan contest or something. Nodody’s ideas had ever been as good as Tiffany’s.

“The word I had in mind started with a B, but I guess particular will work,” Emily commented dryly.

Officer Kirk coughed. “Do you have the disk with you?”

“Yes. In my purse.” She rummaged through her large bag and produced the disk. “Do you need some sort of affidavit that I haven’t changed anything on it?”

“If you’d handwrite a quick note, that would be helpful. We might need something more formal later.”

“Sure.” She pulled out a yellow note pad and quickly wrote the note. Tearing off the sheet, she handed it to him. “I’m sorry, officer, I didn’t intend to interfere with your investigation.”

“It looks like there was no harm done.” He sealed the disk and her note in separate bags. “Thank you for your time.”

“You’re welcome.”

Emily breathed a sigh of relief when the door shut behind him. Only then did she realize her knees were shaking. She’d put herself and her children at risk listening to Patrick Stevens.

It was hard to concentrate the next few hours, but somehow she managed. Finally, Olivia left for a meeting.

Picking up the phone, Emily dialed the number for Elmwood Elementary. She knew it by heart after having kids enrolled there so long. She punched in Patrick’s room number and was surprised when he picked up.

“Don’t you have classes to teach?” she demanded.

“My students are in Art. And this is?”

“Emily Patterson. The woman who went out on a limb for you. The same woman police interviewed at her place of employment because she did a favor for you.”

“You’re kidding. What did they want?”

“And you’re supposed to be a genius. The disk, Einstein.”

“Actually, I’m only highly intelligent. My IQ is a few points shy of genius level.”

“Quit playing games, Stevens. They asked me if I tampered with the disk.”

“You didn’t. I imagine you gave up the disk voluntarily. No harm, no foul.”

“Easy for you to say. I don’t know about you, but I need my job. If I’m unemployed, my kids are homeless with nothing to eat. It’s a little more severe than just missing a Lexus payment.”

“You’re right, Emily.” His voice lowered. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I’m sorry.”

His apology surprised her. Neither of her ex-husbands had ever admitted being wrong. Even Larry, when she’d caught him riding a two-bit cocktail waitress at the Lazy Eight Motel.

Of course, Larry had explained how it had all been Emily’s fault because she’d gained weight after Ryan’s birth. After all, he could hardly be held accountable when his wife was a fat cow, too tired to make love with her husband.