His Best Mistake

His smile faded into a frown. “Is that how you found me?”

“Yes. I called her after I stopped by your loft and discovered you’d moved.”

“Didn’t she give you my new phone number?”

“She did, but I decided we needed to speak in person.” She’d actually considered delivering the news by phone, affording him the same non-courtesy that he’d afforded her when he’d ended their relationship. Instead, she’d opted to be an adult and engage in a face-to-face meeting, although at the moment she questioned her wisdom.

But she was here now, so she might as well get down to brass tacks. On that thought, she asked, “Can we sit down now?”

“Sure.” Kevin guided her to a table situated beneath a copse of pines and oaks and pulled out a brown-striped chair.

Leah took the designated seat while Kevin chose the chair across from her, thankful for the table that put much-needed space between them. She set her bag on the ground at her feet and tightly clasped her hands on the glass surface. “These trees help with the heat.” At least from a meteorological standpoint. Noticing all of Kevin’s finer details didn’t help Leah’s internal heat in the least. It seemed he’d lost some weight, but he’d undeniably gained some muscle. He’d always been in great shape, but his biceps looked larger. His chest looked broader. His abs looked tighter beneath the T-shirt. And if she knew what was best, she’d keep her eyes off his attributes.

“The Houston heat in June’s always brutal, especially at four in the afternoon,” he said, drawing her attention back to his face.

“I had a busy morning, otherwise, I would have been here much earlier.” She’d spent the better part of the day engaged in an internal debate, until she’d forced herself to stop procrastinating.

After another brief bout of silence, Kevin asked, “How’s your fellowship going?”

Though she was avoiding the news she’d come to deliver, Leah saw no reason not to be civil. “It’s going well. The hospital rotations can be tough, but I work part of the time in a clinic.”

“Which means more normal hours,” he said.

Odd that he remembered all the details they’d discussed during their time together. Then again, he had been very attentive, both in and out of bed. “I’m really looking forward to finishing in August so I can finally start utilizing what I’ve learned.” She would have been finished now had she not taken a necessary break in her hometown before returning to Houston two months ago.

Kevin brushed a leaf from the table with a sweep of his hand. “Have you decided where you’re going to practice?”

In some ways, that decision had been made for her. “I’m going home to Mississippi. Since my fellowship has focused on healthcare for the indigent, I plan to work part-time in a free clinic, and possibly open my own practice to pay the bills.”

“You won’t miss the big-city lifestyle?” His tone hinted at disappointment, or maybe she was reading too much into it.

“I’d miss my family more.” She also needed their support, now more than ever.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, wherever you land,” he said. “Good luck.”

For some reason, she’d wanted him to say he would miss her. That he’d made a huge error in judgment by letting her go. That he wished she would stay in Houston. And that was insanely ridiculous. Even if he did say all those things, she couldn’t believe him.

The conversation died for a time until Leah sent a quick glance in his direction to find him rubbing his eyes. “You look tired. Obviously you’ve been burning the midnight oil.” Or burning up the sheets with his latest babe.

“Just been busy with work.”

“Traveling a lot?”

“Actually, no. For the most part I’m working from home now. I write a nationally syndicated column and I maintain a sports blog for the magazine.”

That surprised her almost as much as the longer length of his hair. “You’ve always loved interviewing all those sports superstars. What on earth happened?”

His expression showed definite discomfort. “Things change, Leah.”

Yes, but she suspected he hadn’t. Maybe he wasn’t traipsing all over the country searching for his next female conquest, but she had no doubt women were still seeking him out on a regular basis, and he was gladly accommodating them. That didn’t matter to her any longer, or it shouldn’t.

She’d come here to say something important, and she needed to say it now. Yet when Kevin centered his dark eyes on her, Leah temporarily misplaced her train of thought. And when he leaned over and traced a fingertip along her jaw, she stiffened and muttered, “Don’t.”

If he so much as touched her again, Leah might momentarily forget how badly he’d wounded her, heart and soul. She refused to do that. Refused to succumb to his charm that he wielded like a net to ensnare unsuspecting females. She’d already been there and she wasn’t going back.

“Sorry.” His features turned sullen as he once more leaned back in his chair. “Do you mind telling me why you’re here?”

“Not to take up where we left off, Kevin.” Lying wasn’t the norm for Leah. In fact, she always demanded honesty under normal situations. Yet nothing about this situation was normal. She’d do whatever seemed necessary to discourage him, even if that meant fabricating an intimate relationship with another man. “Besides, I’m seeing someone.”

Kevin leaned forward and studied her a long moment. “Who is he?”

Leah was taken aback by the question, as well as the jealousy in his tone. A typical male I-don’t-want-you-but-I-don’t-want-anyone-else-to-have-you reaction. As it was with her job, she had to think quickly. “He’s someone I’ve known for a long time. We met up again when I was visiting my parents in Mississippi.” Not exactly a lie, but not the whole truth, either. She had seen her childhood friend, J. W. Camp, a few times when she’d been home. But J.W. was more like a brother to her, a detail she chose to omit. “He owns his own business. He’s a good man. Solid. Steady. Honest.”

“And you don’t believe I’m any of those things?”

At one time, she had. “It doesn’t matter what I think, Kevin. It’s over between us.”

“Is your relationship with this guy serious?” He sounded almost dejected.

Leah started to issue a denial, but reconsidered. “Look, Kevin, I’m not here to talk about my personal life with you. But we still have something very important to discuss.”

“Then talk. I’m listening.” His tone held a touch of anger, very unlike the Kevin she’d known before. He was usually all about gentle persuasion, deadly charm, but now he seemed much more serious. Or maybe he simply wished she would get out of his life for good.

That’s precisely what she’d planned to do—to stay out of his life—as soon as she presented her actual rationale for being there. With that in mind, she opened the bag, withdrew her wallet and held it firmly in her grasp. “First of all, I’ve agonized for weeks over what I’m about to tell you,” she began. “I’ve spent a lot of sleepless nights trying to figure out exactly how to tell you. But a few days ago, it occurred to me that putting it off any longer wouldn’t make it any easier. You’re still going to be mad.”

He sent her a cynic’s smile. “That would be a switch, you making me mad instead of the other way around.”

Leah could only pinpoint one time when he’d made her mad—furious in fact—and that had been the day he’d called it off between them without fair warning. “Believe me, you’re not going to be happy about this.”

Confusion called out from Kevin’s piercing brown eyes. “Just spill it, Leah.”

As the old adage went, a picture was worth a thousand words, which was why Leah chose to remove the photograph from the clear plastic folder. A photograph that resided among others of friends and family and all those precious in her life, including one of her and Kevin taken during their final vacation in Mexico that for some reason she hadn’t had the desire to remove. But this particular photo was the most precious of all.

She dropped the wallet back into her bag and offered the picture to Kevin without explanation. Clarification would come soon enough.

He studied the photo for a time before his gaze snapped to hers. “Who is this?”

Her gift. Her miracle. Her entire world. “She’s your daughter, Kevin.”

CHAPTER TWO

KEVIN LOOKED as stunned as Leah had been when she’d confirmed the pregnancy all those months ago. She waited patiently for his verbal reaction, and when she didn’t receive one, she said, “Her name is Carly.” Named for Carl, the little boy her parents had fostered when Leah had been in her teens. A special little boy no one had wanted because of his myriad medical problems. But Leah had loved him dearly, had helped care for him until the day he went into the hospital and never came out. He’d been the reason she’d chosen pediatrics as her specialty, but Kevin knew that. Not that he would remember.

Kevin stared at the photo before centering his gaze back on her. “How old is she?”

“Three months.”

“And you’re just now telling me?”

She’d considered not telling him at all, but she’d changed her mind after her mother reminded her of all the children who’d come to them with no medical histories, no knowledge of their own parents. “I called you a week or so after I confirmed the pregnancy. Some woman answered and I hung up. I planned to call you the month Carly was due, but before I could do that, I went into labor four weeks early. It all happened very fast.”

He looked alarmed. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Perfect. A little underweight, but she’s catching up.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how this happened. We were always careful.”

“Not always, Kevin. Remember that wild time we had on our trip to Cabo last summer?” The trip where Kevin hadn’t been himself. She’d learned the reason for his attitude a week later when he’d dumped her. “I had one too many margaritas the last night we were there. You had too much testosterone.”

“But I—”

“Not quickly enough. Besides, we both know that coitus interruptus is not a fail-proof form of birth control.” Yet that night she hadn’t been thinking clearly, and it had had little to do with alcohol because she hadn’t been intoxicated. The overriding passion between them had been the only thing that mattered. A passion that had often clouded her common sense.

When he still seemed doubtful, Leah added, “All you have to do is look at her, Kevin. She’s the mirror image of you.” So much so, she ached every time she looked at her baby girl. Their baby girl.

“Where is she now?” he asked as he continued to focus on the photo.

“With my roommate, Macy.” All the more reason why Leah needed to leave as soon as possible, before the baby woke from her nap and Macy—a confirmed kid phobic—had to deal with Carly.

Kevin stared at the picture a few more moments, and when Leah couldn’t stand the silence any longer, she said, “Say something.”

He leveled his gaze on hers. “I don’t know what to say, Leah. This is one helluva shock.”

She understood that all too well. She also acknowledged that he might have a difficult time coping with the news. He might decide not to cope with it. For that reason, she retrieved an envelope from the bag and offered it to him. “Here.”

After a brief hesitation, he took it from her. “What is this?”

“It’s a document that will terminate your parental rights if you sign it. You’re under no obligation to be involved in her life, emotionally or financially.”

A flash of dismay crossed his expression. “After everything you’ve told me about the abandoned kids your parents fostered, you’re willing to raise her by yourself?”

If she had a choice, Leah would prefer raising her child in a two-parent home. But that wasn’t an option, at least not with Kevin. “We’re doing fine.” For the most part. “I also have a good support system at home.”

“You mean your new boyfriend.”

Leah opted not to comment on that supposition. “My parents insist I move back in with them when I return to Mississippi. You don’t need to worry about whether or not Carly’s going to be cared for if you decide to sign the papers.”

Without offering any response, Kevin lowered his head, the envelope and photo still in his grasp. He appeared so visibly shaken, Leah fought the urge to hold him.

Instead, she gathered her things and stood. “I realize this is a lot for you to think about, so I’m going to give you that time to think. If you’d prefer to walk away from this situation, I’ll understand. All you have to do is sign the documents, have them notarized and mail them back to me in the envelope I’ve provided. I’ve already addressed it. In the meantime, I have the same cell number if you need to reach me.”

It took all of Leah’s strength to leave without any answers from Kevin. She wasn’t certain what to hope for—that he sign the papers to sever his parental rights, ending their relationship, once and for all, or that he decide to be a father to Carly, gaining a permanent place in his child’s life—her life—for years to come. Either way, she would have to deal with the consequences of her actions. Her mistakes.

But Leah didn’t view her baby as a mistake. Falling in love with Carly’s father had been a grave mistake. Thing was, a part of her still loved him, and probably always would.

SHORTLY AFTER DAWN the following morning, Kevin traveled to Bodies by O’Brien, the health club owned by his twin brother, Kieran. His reasons behind the visit were twofold—a workout to clear his mind and counsel from someone he could trust.

Even though he’d barely slept the night before, adrenaline sent Kevin through the double doors at a quick clip and straight to Kieran’s office where he found his brother seated behind his desk.

“Do you have a few minutes?” Kevin asked as he stood in the open doorway, clutching his gym bag in a death grip.

Kieran looked up from a stack of papers and tossed the pen aside. “Come in. You’re saving me from approving invoices, and you know how much I hate the business end of the business.”

Spoken like a die-hard personal trainer, Kevin decided. But saving Kieran from accounting was a far cry from what Kieran had saved Kevin from—certain death—by providing his bone marrow. The ultimate gift, as far as Kevin was concerned. Since that time, they’d put aside their differences and had become as close as they’d been when they were kids, one of the few positives resulting from his illness.

Kevin crossed the room and dropped down in the chair in front of the desk. He decided to ease into the conversation while preparing to get into the crux of the matter at hand. “How’s it going with the wedding plans?”

Kieran smiled. “At least we finally have a place to have it, which is good considering the ceremony’s in less than a month.”

“Where did you decide to do it?” Kevin asked.

“Logan’s father-in-law offered his garden. It’s going to be damn hot, but Erica wants an outdoor wedding. And it shouldn’t be too bad at sunset. Are you still willing to stand up for me under those conditions?”

“You bet.” Kevin would gladly brave the elements to fulfill his duty as Kieran’s best man, although he’d never really been “the best man.” Not even close.

Kieran inclined his head and sized him up. “If you don’t get a haircut before the wedding, people won’t be able to tell us apart. I don’t want my bride kissing the wrong man.”

Kevin ran a hand through his hair and laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. In the meantime, I’m going to let it grow out. I kind of want to hang on to it a little longer since I lost so much during the chemo.” The same chemo that could have altered his chances of having a child, which reminded him of why he’d come to see his brother.

In preparation for the boom-lowering, Kevin drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Leah came by the house yesterday.”

Kieran leaned back and rubbed a hand over his jaw. “I’ll be damned. What did she want?”

Kevin reached into his gym bag, pulled out the items Leah had given him yesterday and offered the photo to Kieran. “She brought me this.”

Kieran took the picture and stared at it for a long moment before he turned his attention back to Kevin. “Is this what I think it is?”

“If you’re thinking that’s my daughter, you’d be right.” My daughter. Never in a thousand years would he have believed he’d be saying that. Nor did he expect to feel what he’d felt after learning the news.

“She looks exactly like our baby pictures.” Kieran shook his head. “Man, this is a shock.”

“Yeah. What a way to start a week.” What a way to change your life in a matter of minutes.

Kieran laid the photo on the desk and slid it toward Kevin. “I can’t believe Leah waited this long to tell you.”

“Considering what I did to her, I can’t really blame her. And as it turns out, she did try to tell me. She hung up when some woman answered, and I’m fairly sure that woman was a home health-care nurse who was giving me transfusions at the time. But I understand why she would assume otherwise.”

“She assumed she’d been replaced,” Kieran said.

Kevin couldn’t fault Leah for that, either. “She was going to try to tell me again right before the baby was born, but she went into premature labor.”

Kieran frowned. “The baby’s okay?”

Exactly the same thing Kevin had asked the baby’s mother. “She’s healthy, according to Leah. And since Leah’s a pediatrician, she should know.”

Kieran grinned. “As far as I’m concerned, Kev, this is damn good news. I say tell Leah the whole story, and maybe you’ll get another chance with her.”

If only that was a possibility. If only he’d done things differently, told her about his illness instead of using his pat confirmed-bachelor excuse. If only he hadn’t done irreparable damage to their relationship by trying to protect her, maybe he wouldn’t be in this predicament now. Then again, he wasn’t certain he would do anything differently, even knowing what he knew now. The last thing she’d needed during a pregnancy was dealing with his problems. “I don’t see any reason to tell her the whole story.”

“You can dole out the advice, Kevin, but you can’t follow it.”

Kevin couldn’t remember giving his brother any advice worthy of notice. “What are you talking about?”

“When you were in the hospital, you told me I needed to drop my guard and confide in Erica or risk losing her. I did that, and look how well it turned out. Now you have a chance to do the same thing, and you’re not even going to try.”

“There’s no point in trying. It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Why do you think that?”

Because a few major issues still prevailed. Issues that prevented Kevin from attempting to win Leah back. “First of all, Leah hates lying and even if my intentions were good, she’d have a hard time buying it. Secondly, she wants a big family, and I might not be able to give her that because of the chemo.”

“Why don’t you let her decide if that matters?”

On to the most important issue. “It’s too late for us, Kieran. She’s already involved with someone from her hometown. I’m pretty sure he’s the reason why she’s decided to set up practice in Mississippi once her fellowship is done. And I’m also sure that’s why she gave me this.” He held up the envelope. “If I sign on the dotted line, I’ll terminate my parental rights.”

“You’re not seriously considering that, are you?” Kieran looked and sounded incredulous.

Kevin had seriously considered it all through the night. Yet every time he thought about walking away from his daughter—a child he had yet to see, the only child he might ever have, he hurt like hell. He hurt just as deeply when he thought about walking away from Leah. Again. “On the one hand, I keep telling myself no way would I let another man raise my child. On the other, maybe that would be the unselfish thing to do. Maybe I’m not cut out to be a father.”

“Just don’t make any rash decisions until you take one more important step,” Kieran said.

Kevin suspected his brother was about to ask him to do something he wasn’t prepared to do. Not until he knew which road he was going to take. “If you’re going to say I need to tell Mom and Dad about the baby, I’m not ready to do that.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

Kevin’s impatience was nearing the breaking point. “Then just say it, Kieran, so I can go work out.”

“Forget the workout. Go see your baby girl, Kev.”

“THERE’S SOMEONE here to see you, Leah.”

At the sound of her roommate’s announcement, Leah looked up from Carly, who’d drifted to sleep at her breast. “I didn’t hear the doorbell.”

Macy moved into the room and secured a band around her wavy blond hair. “That’s because he didn’t ring the bell. I was on my way out when I found him standing on the doorstep, looking like a stray dog.”

Leah suspected she knew the identity of that stray dog. “Did you manage to get his name?”

“I didn’t bother, but I can tell you what he looks like. Dark hair, dark eyes, good-looking in a slick kind of way. Come to think of it, he looks just like her.” She pointed toward the still-sleeping infant in Leah’s arms.

Oh, great. “Leave it to Kevin to show up unannounced,” Leah muttered, though she had no cause to criticize him. Yesterday she’d done the same thing.

Macy’s eyes widened. “Kevin, as in the baby-daddy Kevin?”

“That’s the one.”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell him.”

“I changed my mind.” Or lost her mind, as the case might be.

When Leah moved the baby to her shoulder and stood, Carly released a little whine of protest. “Hold her for a minute. She needs to be burped.”

Macy looked as if Leah had asked her to perform an appendectomy on the dining-room table. “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout burpin’ babies.”

Leah grabbed a towel from the side of the rocker, draped it over Macy’s shoulder and handed Carly over. “Just pat her back a couple of times.”

When the baby released a moderate belch, to say Macy looked frazzled would be a grave understatement. “What if she hurls on my scrubs?”

“That’s what the towel’s for, but she’s not going to hurl.” Leah, on the other hand, fought a twinge of nausea over the thought of facing Kevin.

After buttoning her blouse, she took Carly back into her arms, popped a soft kiss on her cheek and laid her in the bassinet positioned next to her bed. “Tell him I’ll be right out as soon as I’m presentable.”

Macy scowled. “Who cares what you look like? He’s the sperm donor, not your prom date.”

Ignoring her friend, Leah moved in front of the bureau’s mirror and ran a brush through her hair. “Be that as it may, he’s still Carly’s father.”

“He’s a jerk, Leah. He doesn’t deserve to be a father.”

Leah stared at Macy from the mirror’s reflection. “You’ve never even met him.”

“But I know what he did to you, and that makes him an A-one jackass in my book.”

Leah turned and leaned back against the bureau. “Just tell him I’ll be with him in a minute, okay?”

Macy shrugged. “Fine. Mind if I kick him in the jewels on my way out? If I do it hard enough, that could prevent him from procreating again.”

Leah pointed the brush at the door. “I would prefer you deliver my message without any violence and then go to work.”

“You’re absolutely no fun,” Macy said as she did an about-face and marched out of the room.

Going back to the mirror, Leah took a long look at her appearance and grimaced. Her face showed the signs of fatigue, right down to the bloodshot eyes. Balancing a baby’s needs and a busy schedule had begun to take its toll. She applied a little lip gloss then scolded herself for believing she had to make herself up to see Kevin. Macy was right; this wasn’t a date. At least not in the traditional sense. A date with destiny could be in the offing, depending on Kevin’s reasons for showing up unannounced.

She walked back to the bassinet to find Carly still snoozing, her fists balled up at her chest, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Evidently her daughter was having a sweet baby dream, completely unaware that the man responsible for her birth was waiting in the next room.