Filthy Beautiful Love

Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by Kendall Ryan Books 2014

First published in Great Britain by Harper 2015

Copyright © Kendall Ryan 2015

Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015

Cover photographs © Gallerystock

Kendall Ryan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9781502327222

Ebook Edition © February 2015 ISBN: 9780008133870

Version 2015-02-02

Praise for Filthy Beautiful Lies

‘Provocative and filthy…I. Love. This. Book.’ – Roxy Sloane, #1 bestselling erotica author

‘Every Kendall Ryan book should come with a fan and some batteries because they are that hot.’ – Lauren Blakely, New York Times & USA Today bestselling author

‘Compelling characters in a wicked hot story. Kendall Ryan is a goddess.’ – Lexi Ryan, New York Times & USA Today bestselling author

‘Intense, consuming, and ridiculously sexy…Kendall Ryan has outdone herself yet again.’ – Emma Hart, New York Times bestselling author

‘Sinfully enticing, sexually charged and lust driven! Filthy Beautiful Lies is Kendall Ryan at her devastatingly best.’ – Rachel Brookes, author of the bestselling Breathe series

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Praise for Filthy Beautiful Lies

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

KR Page Lies

KR Page Lust

KR Page Forever

KR Page When I Break

About the Author

Tell Me Your Favorite Part!

Connect With Kendall Ryan:

Also by Kendall Ryan

W6 Book Cafe

About the Publisher

Chapter One

Sophie

‘Are you going to tell me where the money came from?’ Becca looks at me expectantly over the rim of her third glass of Chardonnay.

‘Colton,’ my liquor-loosened tongue reveals before I can filter it. ‘He and I had a kind of arrangement.’

‘How did you meet him?’ Becca asks, her gaze inquisitive.

‘Next question.’ I might be several drinks past drunk but there’s no way I’m telling her about the auction. I needed to maintain some dignity in this shameful situation.

Her eyes never stray from mine as she takes another contemplative sip. We’re sitting at a tiny bar in the lobby of our hotel. When I’d found out about Colton’s marital status, I’d fled for home, broken hearted and destroyed. Becca convinced me we needed a girl’s weekend away. I’d done one better and flew us to Rome on a whim. So here we sit, halfway around the world and all we can think to discuss is the exact topic that sent me running in the first place. Awesome. I take another healthy swig of my beverage. God, don’t they have anything stronger than wine in this country?

‘What kind of arrangement can you make with a man where he just gives you half a million dollars, Soph?’ Her tone is accusatory. Good thing she doesn’t know about the rest of the money, which is tucked inside my own bank account. I know my family has a lot of questions about where the money for Becca’s treatment came from, and so far, I haven’t said a word. Until now. Her eyes grow wide and she slaps a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh my God, were you like, his sex slave?’ She giggles.

My cheeks burn brightly, but I shake my head. ‘You’d have to actually have sex for that to be the case, I’d think…’

She’s still giggling, so I know she has no idea she’s hit the nail on the head. Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

‘Let’s not talk about the money, Becca. It’s not important. Colton was willing to provide it, and I don’t regret anything because it helped you get better. Please just let it go,’ I plead with her to let it drop. Her health is cooperating for once and I want to enjoy this trip – just us. I don’t want to even think about the name Colton Drake. It’s much too painful.

‘If he’s as hot as you’ve said he is, I would have had a hard time not ripping his clothes off and jumping him. Oops, I’m sorry, my vagina accidentally landed on your penis.’

I crack a smile at her change in topic. Of course it’s about sex. Becca’s not a virgin and she’s much more forward about sex than I am. You’d think it’d be the opposite, but somehow, I’m the cautious one, whereas being sick from a young age taught her to grab life by the balls and live it to the fullest. I envy her in that.

Her first sexual experience was with a boy in the cancer treatment center. He was seventeen and she was just fifteen at the time. She’d told me every single detail, a proud gleam in her eye. It was inspiring how she let nothing stand in her way. I’d summoned her inner strength the night I stood on that auction block waiting to be sold.

‘Soph?’ she asks, drawing me back from my faraway thoughts. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I miss him,’ I admit softly. ‘That’s crazy, right?’

‘Not crazy. That’s normal when you break up with someone, from what I hear.’

‘I didn’t break up with him. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He’s married, remember?’ I’d told Becca nearly everything – about me living with him, us growing closer, and about being naked in the pool when his wife arrived home one afternoon. Of course Colton tried to stop me, all but tackling me in the hallway of his mansion that suddenly felt cold and foreign to me. I waited for him to try and deny it, to explain it all to me, but sadly, it was all true. Stella was his wife. He’d been married the entire time.

‘Technically. But I still think you need the rest of the story. Obviously his wife wasn’t living there. How long have they been separated?’

I shrug. ‘He hasn’t had sex in two years.’ Unless he was lying about that too. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

‘Damn, that’s quite a dry spell. And if he’s as hot as you’ve said he is…it’s not like he didn’t have offers, right?’

I was one of those offering. I blush, realizing I’d practically put my vagina on a silver platter for him and he repeatedly turned it down. It’s enough to give a girl low self-esteem.

‘Listen, it’s okay to miss him. It’s okay to feel confused.’ She reaches across the space between us and grabs my hand. Despite being six minutes younger than me, Becca has always been wise beyond her years. Her advice is thoughtful and spot on. She downs the last of her wine. ‘But we’re in frickin Rome for a once in a lifetime girls trip, so there will be no moping allowed. We’re going to have fun.’

Yay, fun. My heart feels like it’s been fed through a paper shredder. I nod and force a smile onto my face. Becca’s right. This really could be a once in a lifetime trip for me and her. Who knows what the future holds. I can’t waste time feeling sorry for myself. Of course that’s easier said than done.

I miss Colton’s bed, his scent, the feel of his rough stubble against my cheek when we kissed. I miss everything about him. Just as we’d started to grow close, everything I’d come to love was ripped away from me, leaving a gaping hole in my chest.

Forcing the thoughts of him from my mind, I throw back the rest of my wine and glance at the charming ambience of the bar around us, hoping this trip will be the distraction I need.

The next morning, the knock on our hotel room door surprises us both. Becca and I exchange a look. She shrugs while I move across the room to answer it. At least we’re both dressed.

Once the door opens, I stumble back, looking up into dark, intense eyes framed in heavy lashes that I’d recognize anywhere.

‘Colt…’ I murmur, utterly shocked to see him here in Italy.

‘Soph…’ he returns, his voice gravelly.

‘W-What are you doing here?’ I’m breathless and I don’t know why.

‘You,’ he says simply, his eyes burning on mine.

Everything I’ve tried to forget slams into me at once. His deep blue eyes that are hungry and seeking. His masculine jawline, his height, and even his scent evoke a sense of deja-vu. I remember everything in perfect detail, including the wicked pleasure he gave my body. I suppress a warm shiver.

‘Hi cupcake,’ Pace says, grinning at me from behind Colton.

What in the world? Remembering my manners, I reluctantly let my gaze wander from Colton to greet Pace and I introduce him to Becca. Utterly at a loss for what they’re both doing here, I step aside to let them in.

Becca’s wide smile as she shakes Pace’s hand reminds me of the affect meeting him for the first time can have on a girl. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are alight with mischief. Oh, this isn’t good.

‘And this must be the infamous Colton Drake,’ she says, locking eyes with Colton next.

Watching my sister as she appraises Colton’s perfect form from head to toe, my chest gets tight and I feel tears sting my eyes. Then my anger starts to rise, remembering his betrayal. But I’m in such a state of shock, that it takes me a moment to get my mouth working. ‘Ignore him. He’s leaving,’ I say, remembering that he and I are through.

‘Awe, don’t be like that,’ Pace says. ‘We just spent ten hours flying coach to come see you. The least you can do is invite us in, and let me flirt with your sister.’ His lopsided smile is back and I swear, I practically see Becca’s knees buckle.

‘You flew coach for me?’ I blurt without thinking.

‘It was the only option. The jet wasn’t available. I wanted the next flight out and first class was full,’ Colton explains.

I try to imagine these two men – who are each well over six-feet tall folded into cramped airplane seats for hours on end.

‘Now that’s love,’ Pace remarks under his breath.

‘This is where you’re staying?’ Colton peers around the tiny room, which takes all of three seconds.

Splurging was coming on this trip in the first place – I wouldn’t waste the precious money I had on first class airfare or a fancy hotel room. Even though Becca had responded well to the treatment so far, there was no guarantee that she’d stay healthy, or that she wouldn’t need another round in a pricey treatment facility.

‘What’s wrong with the room? Not up to your high standards?’ I remark, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

He frowns. ‘Let me upgrade you. Take you somewhere proper,’ Colton says, his dark eyes finding mine again.

How dare he? He can’t waltz in here, interrupt my vacation and then insult where I’m staying. He doesn’t control everything. The urge to push him from the room and slam the door in his face is nearly overwhelming. I pull a deep breath into my lungs, just as he reads my uneasy expression and takes a step back.

‘Never mind. As long as you’re comfortable.’ He eyes the bed linens like he’s checking for bedbugs.

Asshole.

‘I am.’ Or at least I was until he arrived out of the blue and completely threw my emotions into a tailspin.

Pace crosses the room, pulls out the small chair from the desk and plops down. His frame dwarfs everything in our tiny efficiency. He looks out of place, but in a good way. ‘I didn’t realize you had a sister. Sexy obviously runs in the family.’ He throws a wink toward Becca.

‘We’re twins,’ Becca informs him.

We always looked a bit different, and now more than ever. With Becca’s hair growing back in, it just reaches the tops of her shoulders and she wears it wavy and messy. My hair falls like a thick curtain down my back and is as straight as an arrow. She’s also about fifteen pounds thinner than me. Chemo will do that to you.

‘Mmm,’ Pace growls, his eyes wandering between us. ‘I’ve always had a secret twin fantasy.’ The hungry look in his eyes is enough to bring a woman to her knees. Becca stands zero chance against his charms.

Colton steps closer to my side, his fists tightening as he shoots an evil glare toward Pace. ‘Don’t make me kill you as soon as we’ve landed. It would really dampen the trip.’

‘Don’t make me confiscate your balls. Now go talk to your woman,’ Pace challenges.

I open my mouth to correct him. I am no one’s woman, but my brain flashes back to that fateful night when Colton purchased me from the auction. I accepted the money–and spent a good chunk of it. Does that mean I still belong to him despite finding out he’s married?

I cursed the stupid contract, I cursed the man himself for holding my heart captive. That was never part of the plan.

When I meet his eyes again, he looks lost, broken, and it tugs at something deep inside me. As much anger as I felt discovering that he’d lied to me the entire time we were together, I still have feelings for him. I can’t just turn them off. Despite his obvious shortcomings, he helped my sister, and he made me feel alive. He was everything I never knew I wanted.

‘Can we go out into the hall and talk for a minute?’ Colton asks, his voice whisper soft.

‘Hear him out, kid. Do it for me,’ Pace says, dimples out in full force, like he knows they’re impossible to refuse. The jerk.

I swallow and give an imperceptible nod before following him into the hall. He flew halfway around the world; the least I could do was listen to his explanation. Maybe it will give me some much needed closure. Maybe I can get the answers I need to move on and also figure out where we stand with respect to the large chunk of money exchanged between us. He never collected on his end of the bargain after all, I am still a virgin.

Once we’re out in the hall, Colton stands before me, looking directly into my eyes. ‘So, that’s Becca, huh?’ He tips his head toward the door.

‘Yeah.’

‘She looks good – healthy, I mean.’

I nod. ‘Yeah, the treatment worked – so far. She goes in for another round in two weeks, but with everything that’s happened, it seemed like a good time to get away – for both of us.’ She and I have never done anything like this, but it was part of my plan to start actually living.

He nods. ‘I see.’

We’re silent for several seconds and Colton’s hand twitches like he wants to touch me, but he doesn’t. Thank God.

‘And would your running away to another country have anything to do with…Stella?’

I flinch involuntarily. I hate that he’s just said her name. It immediately conjures images of that day in the pool, when my whole little world shattered. In the country of Italy, her name should not exist.

‘Will you tell me the story?’ I ask.

‘Anything you want to know.’

‘Are you getting divorced?’

‘That’s up for debate.’’

‘Then I’m leaving.’ I turn for the door, my hand gripping the knob.

‘No. Stay. Please hear me out,’ Colton pleads, prying my fingers from the door handle.

His hand on my skin sends a flash of heat through me at the memory of what those hands can do. He’s still the only man who’s made me come. I shudder as though the memory singes some part of me.

I hear a wave of girly laughter behind the door. It warms me to hear Becca enjoying herself, and it grounds me in the moment. Turning to face Colton again, I draw a deep, calming breath. ‘Do you love her?’

‘No.’ His voice is sure, steady. ‘I never loved her like I should have.’

My shoulders relax just slightly. Even if my body wants to run, and my head is screaming at me to flee, my heart has grown attached to this man. And for better or worse, part of me needs to hear him out, to understand this messy situation I’ve found myself in. Maybe if I can make sense of it, then I can move on.

‘Please let me explain, that’s all I’m asking.’ He raises his palms in a placating gesture.

I’ve never seen him look so devastated and broken. Dark circles line his eyes and he hasn’t shaved in days. Even though I’ve agreed to hear him out, a wave of nausea washes through me. Am I prepared to handle whatever he’s about to tell me? I fasten one hand against the wall for support. ‘I just need a minute…’

He releases a heavy exhale and I swear what looks like regret washes over his features. ‘I will give you all the time you need, sweetness,’ he whispers.

The nickname against his lips presses like a weight onto my chest. My heart feels heavy, thudding dully against my ribcage.

Another fit of Becca’s giggles greet us from behind the door.

‘He’s probably trying to de-pants her,’ Colton says.

‘I don’t think she’d mind much.’

‘Should we check on our siblings while we’re giving you a minute?’

I nod. We might as well. I don’t think I’m ready to hear the entire sordid tale about how the man I was falling for is married and by the sounds of it, not necessarily planning to divorce. A stiff drink might help ease some of this ache in my chest too.

Back inside the cramped hotel room, Becca and Pace are standing near the open windows, deep in conversation. I’ve never seen her look so happy and chipper. She’s openly flirting and preening like a peacock, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and smiling up at him brightly. Our vacation is about to get a lot more interesting.

Realizing we’re back in the room, Becca turns to me. ‘Soph, did you know Pace spent a semester studying here in Rome? He’s going to take me sightseeing – show me all the best spots that aren’t in those travel guides we bought.’

So much for kicking Pace and Colton out. This was supposed to be a girl’s trip, but I won’t deny Becca anything, and I can tell she’d love to spend more time in Pace’s company. It’s that damn crooked grin and dimple of his that just beg you to come out and play.

‘How did you know where I was?’ I ask Colton.

‘Kylie,’ he confirms.

I’d started working with Kylie at Colton’s charity organization a few days a week and it didn’t feel right to leave her hanging. And while I’d only intended to tell her that I would be out of town for a while, she somehow got me to spill the beans about my trip to Rome.

‘When did you get here?’ he asks.

‘Last night.’ It’s almost noon, but with the jetlag and the wine we consumed last night, Becca and I haven’t unpacked a thing. It’s actually a small miracle we’re up and showered.

‘I assume you haven’t had lunch yet. Let’s get you something to eat and I’ll explain everything.’ He turns to my sister who is for some reason squeezing Pace’s bicep while he grins adoringly down at her. ‘Pace, Becca, how about a quick bite to eat before you start your sightseeing?’

‘I’m game,’ Pace says.

‘Me too,’ Becca chimes in, grabbing her purse.

I want to sulk and stomp my feet and refuse to go, but denying myself food seems like a childish way to punish him. ‘There’s room service.’ I nod toward the menu sitting on top of the dresser.

‘No way we’re sitting inside the room all day, Soph,’ Becca encourages. ‘Come on, it’s just lunch.’

I shoot her a scowl. Traitor. I make a mental note to not be so nice to her. Like saving her some hot water for her shower this morning–that was a one-time deal. She might think she’s helping by interfering with me and Colt, but she’s not.

I gather up my belongings, my purse, sunglasses and the Euros I changed over before we left the airport, and follow the group to the elevator. This should be interesting.

Chapter Two

Sophie

The sidewalk café is beautiful and understated. Black wrought iron tables and chairs with fluffy wine-colored cushions, and ivy growing along a little trellis that separates the street from the sidewalk café complete the space. It’s sunny and clear with blue skies overhead, but not too warm, and I find it hard to hold onto my sour mood.

Colton suggests a white wine from a local vineyard and when it arrives, I’ve never tasted anything quite so light, crisp and refreshing. His impeccable taste is just one more thing that’s easy to love about him. But I can’t go there. Won’t. My body has already betrayed me by springing to life when he’s near, like when he helped me into my chair and his hand brushed against my lower back. It left my skin tingling. And when he slid out the chair across from me, his tall, commanding presence caused a little flutter in my chest. I need to keep myself in check.

His eyes roam over my exposed skin–my bare shoulders peeking from the tank top–and my chest and neck flush with heat.

I’m glad our siblings are picking up the slack when it comes to making conversation, because Colton and I remain completely silent. Small talk doesn’t seem to fit my mood and I’d have no idea what to say regardless. They chatter away without a care in the world while Colton and I exchange serious looks.

‘So how long are you guys here?’ Becca asks.

‘Depends,’ Pace says.

‘On?’ I challenge. As far as I’m concerned, Colton has made his point, showing up here in some masculine display to claim his property. He can piss off now, thank you very much.

Colton’s sad eyes slide over to mine. ‘I want a chance,’ he says, his voice dark.

A chance to explain, or a chance with me? I’m thankful for the large wraparound sunglasses that shield my eyes from his.

‘Isn’t that what she gave you all those weeks in LA?’ Becca asks, coming to my rescue.

Thank you, God. The sane and feisty sister I know and love is back. I look over at Becca, communicating my gratitude without needing to speak.

Colton watches the interaction happening between me and Becca, no doubt wondering what I’ve told her about my time in Los Angeles. I hope he knows me well enough to know I’d never divulge our secret.