Wait for You

Maybe Cam and I would become friends. I was okay with that, because it was nice to have more friends like before.

But as I climbed into bed and lay awake, staring at the ceiling, for a moment, a really brief moment, I wondered what it would be like if Cam were interested in me like that. To have something like that to look forward to. To be giddy and excited whenever he looked at me or when our hands accidentally touched. I wondered what it would be like to be interested in him like that, or in any guy for that matter. To look forward to dates, to first kisses, and all the things that came after that. I bet it would be nice. It would be like before.

Before Blaine Fitzgerald had taken all of that away.

Storm clouds were rolling in Thursday morning and it looked like it would be a rainy, cruddy day on campus. Luckily I only had two classes to sloth through, so before I headed out, I grabbed a hoodie and slipped it over my shirt. I thought about changing out of my shorts and flip-flops, but decided I was feeling way too lazy to go to that much trouble.

Texting Jacob to see if he wanted me to pick up any coffee before I hit art class, I slipped out of my apartment and made it to the stairwell before Cam’s apartment door flew open and a guy came out, pulling a shirt down over his head. His shaggy, shoulder-length blond hair poked through, and I recognized him as the guy with Cam’s tortoise—the roommate.

The moment our eyes met, a big smile broke out across his tan face, exposing a row of ultrawhite teeth. ‘Hey! I’ve seen you before.’

My gaze flicked behind him. He’d left the door wide open. ‘Hey, you are … tortoise guy.’

Confusion flickered across his face as his sandals smacked off the cement. ‘Tortoise guy? Oh, yeah.’ He laughed, the skin crinkling around his brown eyes. ‘You saw me with Raphael, right?’

I nodded. ‘And I think you called yourself Señor Fucktard.’

Letting out another loud laugh, he joined me on the stairs. ‘That’s my drinking name. Most days people know me as Ollie.’

‘That sounds much better than Señor Fucktard.’ I smiled as we rounded the fourth-floor landing. ‘I’m—’

‘Avery.’ When my eyes widened, he gave a toothy grin. ‘Cam told me your name.’

‘Oh. So … um, you’re heading to—’

‘Yo douche bag, you left the door open!’ Cam’s voice boomed down the stairwell, and a second later, he appeared at the top of the stairs, the black baseball cap on. A lopsided grin appeared as he spotted us and bounded down the steps. ‘Hey, what are you doing with my girl?’

My girl? What? I almost tripped over my feet.

‘I was explaining to her how I go by two names.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Cam dropped an arm over my shoulders, and one of my flip-flops snagged in the back of my other one. His arm tightened, pulling me to his side. ‘Whoa, sweetheart, almost lost you there.’

‘Look at you.’ Ollie hopped down the steps. ‘Got the girl tripping all over her feet.’

Cam chuckled as he reached up with his free hand and slid the cap around backward. ‘I can’t help it. It’s my magnetic charm.’

‘Or it could be your smell,’ Ollie retorted. ‘I’m not sure I heard a shower this morning.’

Cam gasped in mocked outrage. ‘Do I smell bad, Avery?’

‘You smell great,’ I murmured, feeling my face heat. It was the truth, though. He smelled wonderful—a mixture of fresh linen, faint cologne, and something else that was probably all him. ‘I mean, you don’t smell bad.’

Cam watched me for almost a moment too long. ‘Heading to class?’

We were walking down the steps, but his arm was still around my shoulders and the entire side of my body seemed to tingle like it had fallen asleep. He was so … casual about it. Like it was nothing to him and it probably wasn’t. I remembered how he and the girl had hugged last night, but to me, it was …

There were no words.

‘Avery?’ Cam’s voice lowered.

I wiggled free, and I saw the way Ollie’s grin spread. I headed down the stairs, needing distance. ‘Yeah, I’m heading to art. What about you guys?’

Cam easily caught up with me on the third floor. ‘We’re going out to breakfast. You should skip and join us.’

‘I think I’ve done enough skipping this week.’

‘I’m skipping,’ Ollie announced, ‘but Cam doesn’t have a class until this afternoon, so he’s a good boy.’

‘And you’re a bad boy?’ I asked.

Ollie’s grin was contagious. ‘Oh, I’m a bad, bad boy.’

Cam shot his friend a look. ‘Yeah, as in bad at spelling, math, English, cleaning up after yourself, talking to people, and I could go on.’

‘But I’m good at the things that count.’

‘And what are those things?’ Cam asked as we exited the building. Outside the air carried the faint scent of dampness, and the clouds looked plump with water.

Ollie jogged out in front of us and turned so that he was facing us as he walked backward, completely ignoring the red truck trying to back up. He held up a tanned hand and started ticking off his fingers. ‘Drinking, socializing, snowboarding, and soccer—remember that sport, Cam? Soccer?’

The easy grin slipped off Cam’s face. ‘Yeah, I remember it, asshole.’

Ollie just laughed and turned, heading toward where the silver truck was parked. I glanced up at Cam, curious. He stared straight ahead, jaw set and eyes like chips of ice. Without looking down at me, he shoved his hands into his jeans and said, ‘See you around, Avery.’

With that, he joined Ollie over at his truck, and I’d swear the temperature dropped to match the sudden coolness in Cam’s attitude. Didn’t take a genius or an overly intuitive person to figure out that Ollie had touched on a sore spot and Cam hadn’t been in the mood to elaborate.

Shivering, I hurried to my car and jumped in. Not a second too soon as a big, fat raindrop splatted against the windshield. As I backed out, I glanced over, my eyes finding them. Both guys were standing by the bed of the truck, Ollie smiling and Cam with the same distant, rigid set to his expression as he spoke. Whatever he was telling his friend, he wasn’t happy about it.

Chapter 6

I had no idea how I let Cam talk me into riding with him and not taking two cars, but Saturday night—the night of our assignment—just before dusk, I found myself climbing into the massive silver truck. My stomach had been in knots since Friday night, when Jacob started hounding me about the party he and Brittany were going to. It had been good-natured and I wanted to go, but I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. Besides, I had no idea where the house was, it had been late when he’d started texting, and it had been storming again.

And now I was as nervous as a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. As lame as this was, I’d never been in a car with a guy before. Man, even admitting that to myself sounded incredibly pathetic. Like take-that-little-secret-to-my-grave level of pathetic.

Cam shoved the keys into the ignition as he glanced over at me. The baseball cap was on again, twisted backward. Behind the thick lashes, his eyes glimmered a bright azure. ‘Ready steady?’

Tugging my lightweight cardigan around me, I nodded. When I saw him in astronomy yesterday morning, he was his usual self—joking, flirting, and offering cookies. I hoped that meant whatever had gone down between him and Ollie had been worked out. ‘Are you sure we can’t just do this around here?’

‘This place will be perfect. I will never lead you wrong, sweetheart.’

‘Okay,’ I murmured, clasping my hands together tightly. I turned to the side window, watching as we blew past the campus and crossed the bridge into Maryland.

Fifteen minutes later, Cam turned onto the road leading to the visitors’ center in Antietam National Battlefield. The history nerd in me started doing cartwheels, but I was way too nervous about being out here at night with Cam. Not that he seemed like the type to try anything, but if I knew anything, there was no ‘type’ when it came to that sort of thing. My nerves felt stretched thin and frayed at the edges.

‘Are you sure we’re allowed to be out here at night?’ I asked, glancing around.

‘Nope.’ He pulled into a parking spot. There were only a handful of cars.

I stared at him. ‘What?’

He laughed as he killed the engine. ‘I’m kidding. All we have to do is tell one of the rangers that we’re from the university. They’ll be cool about it.’

I hoped so. The idea of being chased off the battlefield by a park ranger wasn’t on my list of things to accomplish before I died.

However, from a quick look at Cam, it looked like something he’d be down for.

‘You ready?’

Grabbing my bag off the floor, I opened the truck door. ‘Yeah, let’s get this over with.’

Cam grabbed a flashlight out of the glove box as he chuckled. ‘Don’t sound too excited.’

I sent him a quick grin. ‘I’m not.’

‘Don’t lie.’ He walked around the hood and joined me, pointing over to where a cement tower with a red top rose into the sky. ‘That’s where we want to go.’

‘The tower on Bloody Lane?’

He shot me a quick look. ‘You’ve been here before?’

‘No.’

‘Then how did you know that’s Bloody Lane?’

I smiled slightly as I picked up a strand of my hair, twisting it between my fingers. ‘I’m a history major, so places like this appeal to me. Read up on it before. Bloodiest day of the whole war took place on that little stretch of dirt road.’

‘Yeah, that’s what they say. Hold on a sec.’ He turned to where a ranger was cutting across the field. ‘Be right back.’

I watched him jog over to where the ranger waited. Words seemed to be exchanged and then Cam showed him his notebook. The ranger laughed and they shook hands. Tipping my head back, I could already see tiny stars appearing in the deep blue sky. Nightfall would be on us in minutes.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Cam swaggered back to my side. ‘We’re good to go. And we’re not the only ones. There are a few students down by the other side of the tower.’

‘Cool.’ I fell in step with him, keeping a healthy distance between us. ‘Why do so many people come here to do this? I’m sure there are places closer to campus.’

‘Not like this. Look around.’ He shoved the flashlight in his back pocket. ‘Besides the houses across the street, there are no city lights or towers everywhere. It’s just the sky.’

‘And cornfields,’ I pointed out.

He nodded. ‘Lots of cornfields.’

We hit the paved portion of the lane and started toward the tower. ‘How long do you think this will take?’ I asked.

‘Why? You got a hot date tonight?’

I barked out a short laugh. ‘Uh, no.’

One single dark brow arched up. ‘You sound like that’s an insane idea. That no one would go out on a Saturday night for a date.’

Dropping the piece of hair I was playing with, I forced a casual shrug. ‘I’m not dating anyone.’

‘So why the rush?’

Admitting that I was seriously uncomfortable being out here would be embarrassing and rude, so I said nothing.

‘Are you worried that I’ve brought you out here for my own nefarious plans?’

I came to a complete stop. Knots formed in my stomach. ‘What?’

Cam stopped and turned toward me. His grin slipped a notch. ‘Hey, Avery, I’m just joking. Seriously.’

Heat swamped my cheeks and the knots unraveled, replaced by a strong feeling of total lameness. ‘I know. I’m just …’

‘Jumpy?’ he supplied.

‘Yeah, that.’

He studied me a moment longer and then started walking again. ‘Come on. It’ll be dark soon.’

Trailing behind him, I pictured myself running straight into the old wooden fences and impaling myself on one of the pointy ends. God, I needed to get a grip. Not every guy was like Blaine. I knew that. Totally understood that. I wasn’t completely damaged by my affliction.

On the other side of the tower, near the plaques, two students from our astronomy class sat on the bench, notebooks in their laps. They waved at us and as we waved back, Cam headed a little farther down the wide parking lot and then veered off toward the grassy hill overlooking the dirt path of Bloody Lane.

Cam picked a spot and pulled out the flashlight before he sat down. I hovered a few steps back, listening to the low hum of the crickets. The ground had dried out from yesterday’s weather, but even if it were wet, it wouldn’t have stopped me from sitting down. I was just too keyed up.

‘Join me?’ Patting the spot beside him, he inclined his head. ‘Pretty please? I’m lonely all by myself over here.’

Biting down on my lip, I sat a few feet away from him and then busied myself with finding my astronomy notebook. As I pulled it out, I glanced over at him and our eyes locked. I couldn’t look away. Intense. That was the first word that came to mind. His stare was intense, like he was seeing right through me.

Clearing my throat, I fixed my attention on the notebook. Finally, Cam spoke. ‘What constellation are we supposed to be mapping?’

He held the flashlight while I skimmed through my notes. ‘Um, the Corona Borealis, I think.’

‘Ah, the northern crown.’

I glanced at him, brows raised. ‘You knew that off the top of your head?’

He laughed. ‘I might not take notes, but I do pay attention.’

I was pretty sure he slept through the vast majority of the class yesterday. I slid out the grid Professor Drage made for us and then the star map and found the Corona Borealis on it. ‘I really don’t understand how anyone sees shapes in the stars.’

‘Really?’ He scooted over and peered over my shoulder. ‘The shapes are pretty obvious.’

‘Not to me. I mean, it’s just a bunch of stars in the sky. You can probably see whatever you want to see.’

‘Look at the Borealis.’ He tapped his finger off the map. ‘It’s obviously a crown.’

I laughed. ‘It does not look like a crown. It looks like an irregular half circle.’

He shook his head. ‘Look. You can see it now easily. That’s a crown. Come on, see the seven stars.’

I craned my head back as I grabbed a pen from my bag. ‘I see the seven stars, but I also see about a hundred others peeking out. I also see the cookie monster.’

Cam burst into laughter. It was a nice sound, deep and rich. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

My lips pulled into a smile as I hovered my pen over the grid. I had no idea what latitude line to start at. I glanced up toward the Borealis and managed to draw a line where I thought I should, connecting two dots.

‘You know where the name comes from?’ When I shook my head, he reached over and took the pen from my hand. His fingers brushed mine, and I pulled my hand back, planting it in the lush grass. ‘It represents the crown given by the god Dionysus to Ariadne. When she married Bacchus, he placed her crown in the heavens in honor of their marriage.’

I stared at him. ‘Professor Drage didn’t teach that in class.’

‘I know.’

Leaning back, I studied him. ‘Then why do you know that?’

‘Why don’t you know that?’

I cocked my head to the side, brows raised.

‘Okay. Maybe most people wouldn’t know that off the top of their head.’ He twirled my pen between his fingers. ‘I actually took part of this class as a freshman, but had to drop it.’

‘Really?’

He nodded, but didn’t elaborate.

‘You’re, what, a junior?’

‘Yep. I ended up having to take a year off, which put me behind.’

I wanted to ask why but decided it was none of my business. ‘Why did you retake astronomy?’ I decided that was a safe topic. ‘Is it a part of your major?’

‘No. I just like the class and Professor Drage.’ He paused, flipping off the flashlight. ‘I’m studying recreation and sport. Would like to get into sport rehabilitation.’

‘Oh. Did you …’ I trailed off as the girl behind us broke out into a fit of giggles. Glancing over my shoulder, my eyes widened.

The two students from our class were definitely a couple or well on the way to becoming one. Their notebooks were forgotten on the bench. She was in his lap, their faces inches apart, and his hand was slipped under the hem of her skirt.

‘Now that is an interesting form of stargazing,’ Cam commented.

I was grateful for the darkening sky, because my face started to heat. I knew I should turn away, because watching them made me a total creeper, but I couldn’t. Not even when the girl’s hand threaded through the boy’s hair, pulling his head to hers, and they started really kissing and his hand was all the way up her skirt, to his forearm.

Wow.

Cam poked me in the arm with my pen, drawing my attention. He looked … curious. ‘What?’ I said.

‘Nothing. It’s just that …’ He seemed to choose his next words wisely. ‘You’re watching them like … you’ve never seen a couple do that before.’

‘I am?’

He nodded. ‘So unless you were raised in a convent, I imagine you’ve been in a lap a time or two, right?’

‘No, I haven’t!’ I winced, because I practically yelled that. ‘I mean, I haven’t been in a guy’s lap.’

‘What about a girl’s lap?’

‘What? No!’

A slow grin spread across his face. ‘I was joking, Avery.’

I gritted my teeth. ‘I know, it’s just that …’

‘What?’ He poked me again. ‘You what?’

My mouth opened and the worse kind of verbal vomit happened. ‘I’ve never been in a relationship.’ The moment those words came out of my mouth I wanted to kick myself in the boob. Who admitted that to a virtual stranger? Clenching the edges of my notebook, I peeked up at Cam. He was staring at me like I’d just claimed to be the Virgin Mary. My cheeks burned. ‘What? It’s not a big deal.’

He blinked and gave his head a little shake as he turned back to the sky. ‘You’ve never been in a relationship?’

‘No.’ I shifted, uncomfortable to the max, like I’d laid my soul bare.

‘Nothing?’

‘That’s what no means.’

Cam’s mouth opened and then closed. ‘How old are you?’

I rolled my eyes as I wiggled. ‘I’m nineteen.’

‘And you haven’t been in a single relationship?’ he asked again.

‘No.’ The paper was starting to crumple under my fingers. ‘My parents … they were strict.’ Such a lie, but it sounded believable. ‘I mean, really strict.’

‘I can tell.’ Cam tapped my pen off his notepad. ‘So have you gone on a date or anything?’

Sighing, I cast my eyes to my paper. ‘I thought we were supposed to be mapping stars?’

‘We are.’

‘No, we’re not. All I have is a scribbly line and you have nothing.’

‘That scribbly line is between the Delta and Gamma.’ He leaned over, connecting two of the dots. ‘Here is the Theta and this is the Alpha—brightest star. See, we are halfway done.’

I frowned as I glanced up, tracing the pattern of the stars in the sky. Hell, he was getting it right. Then he leaned in again, his shoulder pressing into mine as he drew a perfect line to another dot on the map. I bit down on my lip as he continued to finish the map without looking up once or at the star map. I was acutely aware of how warm his arm felt even through the two layers of clothing. The warmth from the contact spread up my shoulder and across my chest, kicking my pulse up.

He turned his head toward me. ‘Now we’re done mapping stars.’

I sucked in a sharp breath. Our faces were inches apart, and he was way too close. My gaze fell to his lips. They were curved up on one side and that dimple started to appear in his left cheek. His lips started moving, but I didn’t hear a word he was saying. I wanted to move away, but I … I didn’t want to. Confusion swept through my body as I struggled not to shy away … and not to move closer. It was like being caught between two opposing magnets.

Maybe I should stop staring at his lips.

Sounded like a good plan, because staring at a guy’s lips was kind of creepy, so I forced my gaze up. Oh boy, wrong move, because now I was staring into those panty-dropping eyes, as Jacob had referred to them earlier when he texted. And Jacob had been right. I bet there was a legion of discarded panties in the wake of wherever Cam went. It should be illegal for a boy to have lashes as thick as his. Even in the darkness, his eyes were the shade of denim. The somewhat tolerable warmth turned into near unbearable heat as it sped through my veins.

I squirmed again, unable to remember feeling like this in a long time. At least not since the Halloween party. Maybe before. Definitely before. There was just something about Cam that sort of made me forget everything except what was happening that very moment. Sounded normal. I liked it, for the most part.

‘Are you listening to me?’

I blinked slowly. ‘Huh? Yes! Yes. Totally.’

His grin turned knowing, and I wanted to crawl under a prickly bush. ‘Yeah … so, you haven’t been on a date?’

‘What?’

Cam chuckled softly. ‘You really haven’t been listening to me at all. You’ve been too busy staring at me.’

‘I have not!’ My entire face burned with that little fib, and I hastily focused on where the couple had been. They were gone now.

He nudged my shoulder. ‘Yes, you have.’

I screwed up my face. ‘You are so beyond the acceptable level of arrogance.’

‘Arrogant? I’m just stating the truth.’ Cam tossed his notebook on the ground and leaned back on his elbows, eyeing me through his lowered lashes. That damn, insufferable lopsided grin was on his face. ‘There’s nothing wrong with staring at me. I like it.’

My mouth dropped open. How in the world was I supposed to respond to that? ‘I wasn’t staring at you. Not really. I sort of … dazed out. That’s how thrilling talking to you is.’

‘Everything about me is thrilling,’ he replied.

‘About as thrilling as watching your tortoise cross a road.’

‘Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.’

‘Keep calling me sweetheart and you’re going to be limping.’

Cam’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, listen to you.’

‘Whatever.’

‘We should do it.’

My mind went straight to where it shouldn’t have gone, and my skin started to prickle. ‘Do what? Go home? I’m all about going home, like, right now.’

‘Go on a date.’

Obviously I had missed an important part in this conversation. I closed my notebook and reached around, grabbing my bag. ‘I’m not sure I’m following this conversation.’

‘It’s really not that complicated.’ He laughed when I shot him a look. ‘We should go out on a date.’

My stomach dropped as I looked back at him. He looked so content, half sprawled on the ground. Was he joking? Was he high? I shoved my notebook into my bag, along with my pen. ‘I don’t understand.’

Cam lay back and stretched his arms above his head, causing his shirt to ride up and expose a slice of tan skin and two indents on either side of his hips … dear God. I looked away and took a huge gulp of air.

‘Typically going on a date is when two people go out for the evening, or sometimes during the day. Really, it can be any time of the day or night. It usually involves dinner. Sometimes a movie or a walk in the park. Though I don’t do walks in the park. Maybe on a beach, but since there aren’t any—’

‘I know what a date is,’ I snapped, shoving to my feet.

He remained on the ground, and he didn’t look like he was moving anytime soon. I should’ve taken my own car. ‘You said you didn’t understand,’ he pointed out gamely. ‘So I’m explaining what a date means.’

Frustrated … and reluctantly amused, I crossed my arms. ‘That’s not the part I don’t understand and you know that.’

‘I was just making sure we were on the same page.’

‘We’re not.’

Cam lowered his arms, but there was still a gap between his shirt and jeans. Was he wearing underwear? All I saw was a leather belt and jeans. Okay. I didn’t need to start thinking about that. ‘So now that we both know what a date entails, we should go out on one,’ he said.