Hot Single Docs: Meeting His Match: NYC Angels: The Wallflower's Secret / NYC Angels: Flirting with Danger / NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet

Ryan stood. “I’ve heard of women being surrogates, but I’ve never known anyone that has done it.”

She’d obviously shocked him. For some reason she felt the need to make him understand. “My twin sister Alexis and her husband Sam tried to conceive for years. When Alexis asked me if I would carry their baby, I couldn’t turn her down. Didn’t want to...” The words trailed off. If I’d known...

His eyes widened as if he suddenly saw the picture clearly. “So when Miguel’s mother said she was really his aunt, it hit too close to home?”

She nodded. “It almost killed me to give Emily up.” She looked at her hands clasped around her purse.

“Emily?”

“My ba—uh...niece.”

He placed a large hand on her shoulder. The heat from him seeped into her, easing some of the ache. As if he’d realized what he was doing, he let his hand fall away.

“That must have been hard.”

Ryan sounded sincere but a little unsure. Her head spun. Was this the same doctor she’d had a heated confrontation with just an hour earlier about being compassionate? She’d never seen this side of him with the families. Maybe what happened tonight had knocked some of that crustiness off. She looked into his gorgeous blue eyes that compelled her to continue.

“My head said she didn’t belong to me, but my heart said differently. I made the fatal mistake of starting to think of her as mine.” She’d shared all she could. Her nerves were raw.

“You didn’t want to give her up.”

She couldn’t have been more surprised. He understood. “That’s why I took this job, to get away. Had to figure out how to get my life back. I’d like to go home now.”

He opened the door. “Put on your coat. I’m going to see you home.”

* * *

Ryan delayed until he was sure Lucy had made it safely inside her apartment. She’d insisted that he not walk up with her so instead he’d had the taxi wait until he saw her light come on.

He was on an emotional overload. If it had been a warmer day, he’d be sweating. He’d felt more and cared more than he’d wanted to in the last twelve hours. Taken a double shot. All of a sudden he’d been forced to support a family and had later become Lucy’s confessor.

He’d been more in touch with others’ emotions than he had been since his father’s death. His father’s debilitating disease had not only taken him but had slowly taken Ryan’s soul as well. He couldn’t let himself be pulled into that eddy again. He would be back to going round and round. If he didn’t feel, didn’t care, then it didn’t hurt. Supporting someone emotionally was beyond his ability any more.

Today he’d stepped too close to the edge. At Lucy’s pronouncement and the troubled look in her eyes, he’d almost gone over that edge. Only through fist-clenching control had he not taken Lucy in his arms.

They’d both stepped over the professional line today. After the emotional flood Lucy had experienced, would she be able to handle her job? She was supposed to be there to support and care for Miguel’s family. Could she maintain that openness that made her so effective?

Lucy was worming her way into his life so effortlessly that she would begin to expect something he couldn’t give to both her and his patients. She’d want everything and he had nothing. He had to step back a pace. Keep their relationship professional only. It was up to him to make it happen.

The problem came down to whether he had the strength to remain distant when he looked into those stunning jeweled blue eyes misted over with unhappiness.

* * *

Lucy hadn’t heard from Ryan over the weekend. She’d not really expected to but she’d hoped he would at least call and check on her. It had felt good to share her burden with him. Just talking about Emily had made it easier. There had been a time she couldn’t have uttered the words. Now at least she could think about Emily without crying. If Ryan hadn’t insisted she talk, she might still be stymied by the pain. It wasn’t gone but it had eased.

On Monday she didn’t see Ryan until evening rounds and there was no opportunity to talk to him outside of giving reports on the patients.

They were just finishing up when Ryan announced to the group, “Miguel Rivera’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow first thing.”

“I helped walk the mother through the insurance process and found them a place to stay while Miguel’s in ICU,” Lucy reported.

Ryan gave her a curt nod that held none of his usual humor. It was as if they were strangers again who knew nothing about each other and never intended to. He laughed and joked with the other staff members but hadn’t even spoken to her directly. This was worse than his reaction to her on the day they’d met. She hadn’t expected them to be best friends but she hadn’t anticipated being thoroughly ignored either.

She didn’t make it a habit of confiding in anyone other than her sister, and now that was gone she had no one. It disturbed her that the single time she’d stepped out beyond her safety zone she’d been treated like she didn’t exist.

Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. Was he worried about Miguel’s surgery? Ryan had already proved that he was the kind of guy that compartmentalized. Still, she’d come to expect a certain attitude from him and she missed his easy grin.

Miguel’s surgery was an all-day affair. Lucy came to the hospital early so that she’d be available if the family needed her. She had to work harder than usual to keep her emotions in check. Miguel reminded her so much of Emily that she had to call on her professional persona and do what she’d been trained to do. During the day, between seeing to her other cases, she checked in with the family. She happened to be sitting with them when Ryan came in after surgery to speak to the family.

The dark blue scrubs he wore brought out his vivid eyes. He hesitated a second when he saw her. He looked tired, the lines around his mouth a little more evident. After giving her a brief nod, he turned his focus on the mother and grandfather waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say.

“You will translate?” Ryan asked, again without looking at her.

“Yes.”

Ryan didn’t go down to the mother’s eye level, but instead stood away from her. She looked up at him from where she sat. Disappointment filled Lucy. She’d hoped that what had happened the other night would make a difference in his rapport with families.

“Miguel’s doing well. He came through surgery fine but it will not be an easy recovery. He’ll be in ICU for a few days. If all goes well he’ll go out to the children’s ward after that. The first few days we have to be very careful.”

“Thank you,” the mother gushed, jumping up to wrap her arms around his waist.

Ryan looked shocked but patted the woman’s shoulder. “You’re welcome.”

Lucy might have found it comical if it hadn’t been for Ryan ignoring her.

He pushed away from the woman, shook the man’s hand and left without a backward glance. Lucy understood this time wasn’t about her but she still couldn’t help the disappointment she felt that Ryan hadn’t said something to her.

She’d planned to stay late in order to go into ICU with Miguel’s family for the first time. The boy’s nurse spoke enough Spanish to answer simple questions, allowing Lucy to leave without worrying about the family being on their own. She followed behind the Riveras as they left the unit. Ryan was sitting behind the unit desk. He looked up briefly and met her gaze before his eyes returned to what he was doing. A prickle along her spine said that he had watched her walk out the doors.

Where was the guy she’d thought might be a friend? She’d had enough of the cold-shoulder treatment. She was going to find out.

* * *

Ryan had just finished rounds for the evening. He’d done them later than usual. His clinical staff always knew that it would be a late night after he’d had a big surgery and made plans accordingly. Today was one of those days. He’d had his clinical nurse notify Lucy.

She was waiting along with everyone else in the hall, looking efficient and fresh despite the late hour. It had been a long day for her also. She’d been there every step of the way with the Rivera family. Ryan had been impressed with how well she seemed to be holding up under what had to be a difficult situation for her. To his discontent, he’d found himself worrying about her. Wondering how she was doing. That was a road he didn’t want to travel.

When she’d visited ICU with the family he had been aware of every move she’d made. She’d looked tired, but every bit as committed to the family as he’d hoped she would be. A couple of times she’d looked in his direction with questioning eyes that had also held disappointment. It had been far more difficult not to engage with her than he’d anticipated. Still, he thought it was for the best.

He made every effort to make it through rounds as efficiently as possible. Lucy spoke to each of the families before she left the patient’s room. The families had smiles on their faces when the door closed behind him and his group. She’d turned out to be a real asset. Without a word, she turned toward her office with determined steps.

Having finished on the floor, he headed to his office for a quick wash up before checking on Miguel. There would be no going home for him tonight.

There was a knock on his office door. A nurse coming to get him this late at night wouldn’t be good news. “Come in,” he called.

Lucy stalked forward, stopping in front of his desk.

“There’s a problem?” By the determined look on her face there must be. He had a nagging idea he knew exactly what was bothering her.

“Yes, I’d like to discuss something with you.”

Discuss? Lucy didn’t look like she was in a discussing mood. He’d never heard her sound so forceful, even more so than she’d been a few nights earlier. She’d shared her heartache with him the other night. That had scared him. He didn’t want to know anything else. “Lucy, it’s been a long day and I’m not really up for some major discussion if it’ll wait.”

“It won’t,” she snapped.

Apparently she was on a mission. “Then you can have a seat while I finish cleaning up.”

“‘I’ll stand.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her chest.

“As you wish.”

Her lips tightened. What would it be like to kiss those full lips into a smile of pleasure? Make her forget why she was here? Hadn’t he promised himself that he wouldn’t allow those thoughts? What he needed to do was find some nurse and take her out on a date. Have a good time.

He’d managed to keep Lucy at a distance for the last couple of days but he still couldn’t get the sad look she had when she’d told him about Emily out of his mind. He even remembered the child’s name. He was already far too involved.

After toweling off, he rubbed a hand over his more than five o’clock shadow and decided to shave. Stalling all he could in the hope that Lucy would leave. Five minutes later he stepped out into his office again.

Lucy still remained rooted in the same spot she’d been in when he’d left her. Her brows were drawn together and her mouth had eased but remained in a thin line. She pulled the ever-present cardigan tighter around her and crossed her arms. Her look said she might boil over at any minute.

“So what’s the problem? I know this can’t be about Miguel. He was doing fine when I called to check on him a few minutes ago.”

“No, this is about us.”

“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘us’.”

Before that moment he couldn’t have imagined her standing any straighter or looking more out of sorts, but he’d underestimated her. The blue in her eyes went diamond sharp. If she’d had the capability, he was sure she would’ve sliced him up into small pieces. He moved behind his desk and faced her.

“There isn’t an us. Not the kind you’re insinuating.” Her southern drawl had lost its gentleness, taking on an edge that showed she had a strength she kept hidden. She took a deep breath that made him curl his fingers into fists to keep from touching her.

“What I’m trying to say is that I don’t appreciate the cold-shoulder treatment that you’ve been giving me the last couple of days. I shared something incredibly personal. Painful. At your request. Then you start acting like you don’t know me.”

There was no volcano in any part of the world that could’ve looked more furious and spat more sparks than the woman standing in front of him. But he couldn’t let that sway him. “So, because you told me your life story I’m supposed to be your best friend?”

* * *

Lucy jerked back as if she’d been physically slapped.

For the first time in her life she thought about striking another person in anger. She clenched her teeth. Hitting him was the least of what she’d like to do. Run him over with a car, set him on fire, pull his fingernails out with pliers. Ooh, the man!

She was through being the peacemaker, the one who bent over to make everyone happy. “Look, you egotistical, arrogant man, I don’t expect you to be my best friend but what I do expect is for you to be civil.

“The staff has noticed how you treat me. I’ve been asked what I did to make you mad. For some reason, not obvious to me, you’re well liked. Your attitude towards me makes my job more difficult because the staff assumes I have done something wrong. I’m the new kid on the block so they’ll side with you.” She stopped long enough to take a breath.

When he opened his mouth to speak she held up a hand, stalling him. “What I want—no, demand—is that you show me the professional respect that I deserve. I will never make the mistake of believing that I’m anything other than a colleague you are forced to work with. Until we are told differently, I will do my job in the most professional manner possible and I expect the same from you.”

He took a step toward her. “Are you finished?” he said between clenched teeth.

She hesitated. “No. Actually, I’m not.” Her voice rose, which she almost never allowed to happen. “Fear not, I’ll never confide anything of a personal nature again to you.”

With that said, she turned and stalked out the door. Her hands shook and her knuckles had turned white where they were balled beside her. The clacking of her heels on the tile hallway matched the beat of her racing heart.

Boy, that had felt good. Liberating. She’d had no idea how much pain and anguish she’d kept bottled up. Maybe Ryan didn’t deserve the full blast of the emotions she’d kept in check over the last few months. Heck, yeah, he did. He’d been a real jerk. The release had been freeing. She’d been stupid to ever think they could be friends.

It had been empowering. To let go for once. To fight for herself.

She would’ve dealt with her feelings about him backing away from her in private, but when it came into the patient care area she’d had to draw a line. Then she’d had to say something. She smiled. She’d lectured, more like.

Heading for her office, she passed a nurse who said, “Hi, Lucy.” She gave her a bright smile. The nurse gave her a funny look but returned Lucy’s smile. She was relieved to find her office empty. She didn’t want to discuss what had just happened with anyone while she was still feeling mad. If she did, the other person would be so surprised to know she had just told off the wonderful, charming, friend-to-all-the-nurses-and-patients Dr. Ryan O’Doherty. Haw!

That was, everyone but her.

Was she jealous because he didn’t treat her the same? No, that couldn’t be. Maybe it was. He had at least made it known that he appreciated her contributions in the last week. She had just read him wrongly. He didn’t like her. She could deal with that. What really annoyed her was that she liked him.

The light on her computer blinked, indicating she had a message. Tapping a key with more force than necessary, her email inbox opened. She scanned it. The message was from Mr. Matherson in HR. He requested that she and Ryan attend Jack Carter’s going-away party together as a sign that the co-ordinated patient care program was working.

“Great. Just great.” She was starting to agree with Ryan’s negative view of this program.

A new message came up. The address indicated it was from Ryan. She clicked. His terse message read: “Assume you received same email. Will pick you up at seven.”

CHAPTER FOUR

RYAN STEPPED ONTO the landing of the third floor above Volpentesta’s Restaurant and studied the glossily painted doors. Lucy’s response to his email had been “Third floor, red door.” That had been the sum total of their personal communication since she had stalked out of his office.

During rounds she’d made it a point not to stand near him. To make the Siberian, dead-of-winter, glacial temperature between them worse, she seemed even sunnier and happier to see the patients and the other staff members than usual. None of that sunshine fell on him.

If she’d had a question about a patient she’d turned to his clinical nurse for answers. Even when Miguel had had a high fever while still in ICU and Ryan had had a real concern that the boy might require another trip to surgery, it hadn’t been him Lucy had turned to for information in order to reassure the parents.

He’d been concerned about her reaction to Miguel’s downturn but he wouldn’t let himself ask her about it. He wasn’t going to that place he’d been during his father’s illness. But, still, he cared.

Lucy couldn’t have made it clearer that she had no use for him if she’d shouted it over the intercom. It had been the longest week of his life.

Wasn’t that the way he’d wanted it? Yeah, but living in exile hadn’t turned out to be as easy as he’d thought.

For heaven’s sake, he did brain surgery for a living, on children no less, and the quiet, unassuming woman had rattled his world. He suspected this would be the least agreeable date he’d ever been on. With resigned steps he approached her door and paused for a second before knocking. He’d not been this nervous since he’d done his first solo surgery. This woman wouldn’t intimidate him, he refused to allow it.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he tapped on the door. It opened with a suddenness that startled him.

“I’m ready,” Lucy said in a snippy voice.

Her anger hadn’t cooled. Instead of making him mad, she’d managed to make him feel guilty. He didn’t like that feeling at all.

Lucy stepped out into the landing and pulled the door closed behind her. Her coat was already on and buttoned. A scarf in shades of pink orbited her neck. There was a faint smell of wildflowers about her.

Recovering from the shock of her sudden appearance, he found his breath caught in a stranglehold with the realization that Lucy’s hair was down. He’d never seen it anything less than under control. Tonight it hung in honey-gold ringlets around her face and down her back. Way down her back. He’d imagined, more than once, what the mass would look like set free but none of his ideas had come near the reality. Her hair was outstanding, glorious, mesmerizing. If he could only touch...

He lifted a hand. She jerked back as if burnt.

That hurt. Could the little boy caught with his hand in a cookie jar have felt any more humiliated? Disappointed? “After you,” he mumbled as he moved back to let her precede him.

He watched in fascination as her wheat-colored mane bounced across her back as she went down the stairs. Her hair stood out in contrast against the chocolate color of her coat. He’d always thought of himself as a leg man but in this case that might not be accurate. What would it be like to have that curtain of gorgeous hair hanging above him while her eyes twinkled at him and her mouth lowered to his? He groaned low in his chest.

She glanced back at him. The unwelcoming look on her face said Don’t you dare before it continued down. The woman couldn’t possibly know his thoughts, could she?

He had to get control of his libido or the night would be even more difficult than he’d originally assumed. Lucy was already angry with him and lusting after her wouldn’t make her happier. Grateful for the cold blast of wind that met him straight on when he stepped out of the building, he squared his shoulders. He could do this. If he had to, he’d walk outside when the need to touch her became too strong. Maybe they could get away with putting in an appearance then leaving.

Lucy turned and looked at him as if asking what came next.

“This way.” He stepped toward the restaurant valet attendant, resisting the urge to cup her elbow. She walked beside him but not so close that they touched. He handed the parking slip to the attendant.

Her eyes went wide. “You’re driving? I thought we’d take a taxi.”

“Not tonight.”

When the attendant pulled the low, two-seater sports car in front of them Ryan had the pleasure of watching as Lucy’s mouth form an O. He grinned. She liked his car. Lucy allowed his touch as he helped her into the car. A ringlet of her heavenly hair curled along his arm. He took his chance and touched it briefly. So soft.

Closing her door, he walked around the vehicle, bracing himself to be confined in a small space with a woman snapping mad at him. Could her anger and his lust coexist without turning to fireworks before they made it to the Ritz?

* * *

Lucy looked away from the stop-and-go traffic as they worked their way up Fifth Avenue. She studied Ryan’s profile by the glow of the city lights. The luminous yellows, greens, oranges and blues flashed across his straight nose and firm jaw. By anyone’s definition Ryan was handsome. When he smiled, breathtakingly so. But being attractive was only surface deep. Where it really counted, he’d let her down. He’d pushed her away. She didn’t like someone playing tug of war with her emotions.

Ryan glanced at her and she quickly looked away.

“Everything okay?”

“You mean besides us being forced to attend this party together?”

“You do know it wasn’t my idea.” His words were as flat as a table.

She sighed. “I know.” Silence filled the space between them as if they were strangers.

Minutes later Ryan said, “I had no idea you had so much hair. You always keep it up or in a braid.”

“Too much. I grow it for Locks for Life.”

“What’s that?”

“I give my hair to make wigs for cancer patients.”

Had he mumbled “What a shame”?

“Does your twin have the same kind of hair?”

“No. We’re not identical.”

“It’s beautiful, you know.”

Warmth that had nothing to do with the car heater blanketed her, but she wasn’t going to be pulled in by him again. She no longer trusted him but she couldn’t deny it felt good to receive a compliment from such a virile man. “Thank you, but you do know that you don’t have to pay me compliments. I’m not your date who needs to be charmed. This is a business party.”

“I’m sorry if giving you sincere praise and making conversation disturbs you.”

“Let’s just get through this evening with as little personal conversation as possible.”

“I’m not promising that.”

They had stopped at the next light before she spoke again. “I didn’t think anyone who lived in the city drove.”

“I don’t drive often but I like to when I can. You know, this could almost be considered a personal topic.” The smile in his voice shone through clearly.

Lucy huffed. The man was making fun of her. Typical male. Have it out and move on as if nothing had happened. That didn’t work for her. She was still upset with him.

Getting through the party was going to be a challenge, with Ryan’s charm swirling around and his talent for exasperating her. The evening could go one of two ways. She could blow up at him again or fall at his feet. The latter she couldn’t let happen. Compounding the problem was that if she’d noticed how handsome he was on a daily basis it didn’t come close to how fine he looked tonight.

His jet-black tux fit his shoulders to perfection. A tall man, his formal dress had seemed to make him tower over her as he’d helped her into the car. The stark white of his shirt accented his dark skin. The entire package screamed man of power. His haircut didn’t completely control the thickness of his locks. Was it soft or bristly to the touch? Those thoughts were better left in a drawer. She gulped and held her purse in a death grip as she resisted the urge to touch him.