The Arrogance Of Love

Gratefully, Susan rose also. ‘Oh, yes, David. Can you get my coat?'

Outside, the night air seemed inestimably fresh after the dingy atmosphere of the Chalmers house. Susan breathed deeply and was glad for once that the car was an open one. It was wonderful to feel the cold wind tugging at her hair, and clearing her head.

She wished David was not so easily dominated by his mother. For instance, he never chastened her for anything she said to herself, Susan, whatever it might be, and for all she might think that it was because he wanted to keep the peace she knew this was the coward's way out. Mrs. Chalmers might not be so objectionable if she were taken down a peg or two, now and then.

It was a problem, and she did not have any idea how it was to be solved.

When they drew up outside the block of apartments where Susan's flat was situated, she turned to David and said:

‘David, let's get this straight now, shall we? I don't want to live with your mother, however convenient it may be.'

David sighed. ‘I know, Sue, but –'

‘But nothing, David.’ Susan ran a hand over her hair, and David suddenly pulled her to him.

‘Oh, Sue,’ he whispered, ‘I only want to live with you. I don't care where it is!'

Susan allowed him to kiss her, without responding herself. She felt emotionally exhausted at the moment. Then she pressed herself against him, as though willing herself to respond, and he groaned, ‘Oh, lord, I don't know how I'll wait until October.'

‘What would your mother think?’ she taunted him, hating herself for doing so.

‘I don't damn well care,’ he muttered, and kissed her again.

CHAPTER TWO

THE flat which Susan shared was situated in a comparatively new block in a quiet cul-de-sac. There was a bedroom, a living-room and a kitchen, with a bathroom along the passage which was shared with two other couples.

Delia Fulton and Susan had both been brought up in the orphanage and in consequence loved the flat which was the first real home they had had. They had both come to London together to get jobs, Susan to work in a typing pool and take a commercial course during her evenings, and Delia to work in a large store from where she too had taken a course, this time in window-dressing, and she now worked for a large department store in Oxford Street.

It had been a struggle to begin with. The rent of the flat had seemed exorbitant, but now they both earned enough money to afford the flat and a few luxuries besides.

The girls were good friends and did not interfere in each other's lives. The orphanage had taught them to respect privacy, for there there had been little.

The next morning Susan woke to find Delia shaking her, and saying :

‘Wake up, Susan. I've brought you a cuppa.'

Delia was a brunette. She wore her hair very long and straight and was invariably dressed in pants and an overblouse or sweater.

‘What's the time?’ asked Susan, struggling up in bed to take the cup of tea Delia held out to her.

‘Eight o'clock,’ replied Delia, now relieved of the tea-cup and lighting a cigarette.

Susan blinked. This was indeed a red-letter day. Delia was never up first in the mornings. She was always the one who had practically to push her friend out of bed.

‘Couldn't you sleep?’ she asked, an amused twinkle in her eye. ‘Or is there some other reason for your early rising?'

Delia stretched and grinned. ‘Well, honey, Alan is taking me down to meet his parents for the weekend. He's calling for me at nine o'clock and I can hardly contain myself.'

‘I see. How wonderful!’ Susan was pleased. Alan Huntley was the nephew of the store-manager where Delia worked. His parents were Sir John and Lady Olivia Huntley and they lived in a massive house near Bristol. Although Delia had been working at the store for over eight years, it was only recently that Alan had started taking an interest in her and as she had admired him from a distance for a long time, she was overjoyed. And now he was taking her down to meet his parents and to Susan it sounded very serious indeed in the nicest possible way.

‘It is, isn't it?’ exclaimed Delia, hugging herself. ‘Just imagine! Meeting his parents!'

‘Yes, you'll soon be getting married yourself,’ said Susan. ‘I envy you.'

‘Why? You have David.'

‘Oh, I know, but I also have David's mother to contend with, and she's a whole mass of problems in herself.’ She sighed.

‘You do sound gloomy this morning,’ said Delia sympathetically. ‘You were asleep when I got home last night. Has something awful happened?'

‘Awful! Oh, no, not really.’ In truth Susan couldn't understand her depressed mood herself. It all seemed to stem from that meeting with Dominic Halstad. It was all most annoying, and most unsettling.

‘Then what's wrong? You don't sound very happy.’ Delia was genuinely concerned.

Susan smiled. ‘Nothing, honestly. I just feel as though it's going to be one of those days.'

She slid out of bed and stretched, before crossing to the wash basin to sluice her face with icy cold water.

Drying her face on the towel, she looked speculatively at Delia.

‘Delia,’ she said slowly, ‘have you heard of Dominic Halstad?'

Delia frowned. ‘I've heard of him, of course. He's something to do with newspapers, isn't he?'

‘Yes. He's the head of one of these big syndicates.'

Delia looked exasperated. ‘Come on, then! You didn't ask me that for no reason, just out of the blue. Do you know him?’ She looked slightly incredulous.

Susan laughed. ‘Not exactly. But I did meet him yesterday at the cocktail party at Amanda's. He's a friend of hers, and very attractive.'

‘Is he indeed?’ Delia made a moue with her lips. ‘You do move in exalted circles, don't you?'

‘Amanda does, at least. She apparently knows him very well. They treated each other like long-lost souls.'

‘Hmn! He sounds interesting. Is he married?'

‘Yes, they always are,’ Susan chuckled. ‘Why? Has Alan begun to pall already?'

‘Of course not. But I can see he made quite an impression on you. Is that the cause of the depression? Did David seem meek in comparison?'

‘No, not at all.’ Susan felt cross. She ought not to be discussing a complete stranger, and a friend of Amanda's, in this manner. After all, the chances were that she would never see him again. Besides, she somehow felt disloyal to David just talking about Dominic Halstad. But she would not admit, even to herself, the reason why she felt this way.

Shooing Delia out of the bedroom she dressed in a dark-blue jersey shift and emerged to find that Delia had prepared her a slice of toast and a cup of creamy coffee, which were delicious.

Wishing her friend good luck during the weekend, she donned her sheepskin coat, and hastily left the flat. She ran down the flight of stairs and came out into the fresh morning air.

It was one of those slightly frosty mornings, when a faint haze hid the sun and promised a warm and sunny day. Susan breathed deeply and felt her depression leaving her. Who could feel depressed when everything looked so new and fresh and the young shoots were greening on the trees in the parks?

A bus set her down near Amanda's apartment and she opened the door of the lounge as the near-by church clock struck nine.

Amanda was sitting at her desk, studying her correspondence, and smiled as Susan came in.

‘Good morning, Susan,’ she said briskly. ‘You're remarkably punctual.'

Susan chuckled. ‘I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not,’ she remarked, taking off her coat and hanging it in the minute entrance hall.

‘Sorry, dear,’ said Amanda. ‘Anyway, there's not a lot for us to do today.’ She rose to her feet and, crossing to the kitchen door, called, ‘Coffee for two, Sarah, please.'

Then she turned to Susan. ‘There are just a few letters to answer, and afterwards I think we'll take a ride into the country. It will make a nice change for both of us.'

While they were smoking cigarettes and drinking some of the continental coffee Sarah had prepared so expertly, Amanda said, ‘By the way, what did you think of Dominic Halstad?'

‘I don't really know,’ replied Susan, flushing. ‘He … well … he didn't tell me who he was, and I'm afraid I was rather abrupt with him. I treated him like an eager reporter trying to get an inside story.'

Amanda laughed. ‘Oh, don't worry about that. I expect he was quite amused. He's used to people hanging on his every word. Do him good to meet someone who didn't treat him like the purple emperor.'

‘He did say he was a very good friend of yours.'

‘So he is, girl.’ Amanda nodded thoughtfully. ‘You know it was he who persuaded his father to publish my first novel. They weren't very inspiring stories in those days, but Dominic thought I had promise and persuaded his father to think so, too. Of course, I've known Dominic for years. Long before I took up writing, in fact. His mother and mine were great friends, and when we were children we used to play together. I was seven years older than Dom, but he led me a terrible life.’ She chuckled reminiscently.

‘I see.’ That accounted for the familiar way he had spoken of her. ‘He hasn't been here before, has he?'

‘No, he's been abroad for quite a long time,’ replied Amanda. ‘He seems to do a lot of his work in America, or so I believe; at any rate I haven't seen him for a couple of years or so.'

‘He seems very young,’ murmured Susan, drawing deeply on her cigarette. ‘But he must be nearly forty.'

‘He is, darling. But I agree, he doesn't look his age, which is remarkable in the circumstances.'

‘What circumstances?’ Susan was curious.

‘Oh, the problems he has had to face with Veronica.'

‘Veronica? Oh, is she his wife?'

‘That's right.’ Amanda sounded bitter. ‘Regrettably.'

Susan stubbed out her cigarette. ‘Why so? Are they divorced?'

‘No. Nothing so simple.’ She smiled, a little forcedly, and then said, ‘Well, let's get on.'

Susan picked up her notebook, but as she did so she wondered why Amanda seemed so reluctant to talk about Dominic Halstad's wife. There seemed to be a mystery about the whole affair, but she respected Amanda's confidence and firmly tried to push all thoughts of the Halstad ménage from her mind.

But it was not so easy as she thought, and she found her mind twisting back over all that had been said, trying to find some reason for Amanda's oblique comments.

But it was no use. She did not know sufficient about them to be able to form any opinion, and it seemed unlikely that Dominic Halstad should have any problems that he could not handle, when she considered his immense wealth and personal charm.

They lunched at the apartment and afterwards drove out of town in Amanda's Rolls-Royce, Susan acting as chauffeuse. They stopped at a small country pub for a drink, and relaxed in the garden of the inn, sitting at rustic tables on wooden forms.

It was all very olde-worlde and Susan liked it.

‘I'm having dinner with Dominic this evening,’ remarked Amanda suddenly. ‘At least, I should say he's having dinner with me. He's coming to the apartment.'

‘Alone?’ Susan was intrigued. Where was his wife?

‘Yes. Alone. Why? Would you and David like to make up a foursome?'

‘Oh, really … I … of course we wouldn't intrude …’ Susan felt embarrassed.

‘You wouldn't be intruding,’ replied Amanda easily. ‘It's a grand idea. Why didn't I think of it before?'

Susan's nerves felt as taut as violin strings, and she inwardly rated herself for feeling this way at the mere mention of that man's name.

‘I don't think David would want to come,’ she murmured truthfully.

‘Oh, never mind what that young man says. Would you like to come?'

‘I … I suppose so.'

Amanda screwed her nose up, and looked rather cynical. ‘I must say your enthusiasm is overwhelming,’ she remarked dryly.

Susan giggled. ‘I'm sorry, Amanda. Of course, I'd like to come, but you know what David is.'

‘I know,’ said Amanda. ‘Why don't you give him a ring? I expect he'll be working as usual today, won't he? Tell him Dom is coming. I guarantee he won't refuse.'

‘Perhaps you're right,’ agreed Susan, sighing. ‘All right. I'll go and see if I can use the phone here.'

The bartender was quite willing that she should use the phone behind the bar and in no time at all her call was ringing in David's office. Although occasionally she did contact David in this way, it was only very occasionally as he did not like her ringing him during office hours. Thus it was that when David answered and found it was Susan he was rather irritable.

‘What is it?’ he asked brusquely. ‘I'm very busy, Susan. Is it urgent?'

‘Not exactly, darling, but Amanda has invited us to the apartment for dinner this evening and I didn't want to accept until I was sure you would want to go.'

‘I see.’ David did not sound enthusiastic, but, thought Susan impatiently, he expected her to visit his mother's whenever he saw fit, so why should he object on the rare occasions when she asked him to go somewhere that she wanted? After all, Amanda was the nearest person to a mother she was ever likely to have.

‘It will make a change,’ she said, annoyed to find that her voice was persuasive. ‘Will you go?'

David hesitated and then said, ‘Do I take it Amanda will be alone? Or will there be other guests?'

‘One other guest, Dominic Halstad,’ said Susan quickly.

‘Dominic Halstad!’ David sounded astonished now. ‘Really?'

‘Yes, really.’ Susan felt angry. As Amanda had said, the name had caused an immediate and favourable reaction.

‘Well, in that case, I think we might go. It sounds interesting. Is he a friend of Amanda's?'

‘Yes. Right. What time will you pick me up?'

Susan was glad when she replaced the receiver. She had been conscious of having the attention of the bartender while she was making the call and she hoped she had not sounded too pleading. Thanking him, she returned to Amanda.

‘Well?’ said Amanda at once. ‘What's the verdict?'

‘As soon as I mentioned Mr. Halstad's name, it worked like a charm.’ Susan sighed. ‘I don't know why you and David are so antipathetic to one another.'

The last time David and Susan had dined at the apartment, Amanda and David had spent the whole evening arguing over contemporary painting. Amanda was a devotee of modern art, whereas David could not stand it and, unlike Amanda, he did not think everyone should have their own opinion. He had inherited from his mother the idea that he was right and everyone else must be wrong.

‘That young man annoys me,’ said Amanda, ‘and he knows it. He is also jealous of my monopolizing your time. Are all young men today so sure of themselves?'

‘Being sure of himself is the last description I would have applied to David,’ said Susan in surprise. ‘With me he seems anything but positive. He allows his mother to walk all over him, and me too for that matter. It's infuriating.'

‘Well, I should imagine that's why he is the way he is,’ remarked Amanda. ‘At home he's been repressed and dominated by his mother, that's why when he's with you he tries to dominate you. To prove to himself that he's not a mouse.'

Susan laughed. ‘The amateur psychiatrist, Miss Amanda Blake!'

Amanda grinned. ‘All right, all right, you laugh. But I'm right. I'm sure of it. What happened to his father?'

‘Oh, he died years ago.'

‘Probably bullied to death, if you ask me,’ said Amanda shrewdly. ‘From what you've said, his mother sounds a tyrant.'

Susan sighed. ‘Maybe it's my fault. I let her get away with too much. I think that's David's dilemma too. After his father died she turned to him more and more and consequently today things are worse than ever. She needs a daughter-in-law who is as tough as she is and who will answer her back and not allow her to get her own way.'

Amanda frowned. ‘That was an ambiguous remark. Do I take it you're having doubts as to whether you'll be her daughter-in-law?'

Susan flushed. ‘Oh, no! No!’ She lit a cigarette hastily, with hands that were not quite steady. ‘It's just that sometimes I wish I were more like that.'

‘Is that so?’ Amanda looked sceptical, and Susan wondered whether the remark she had made had indeed been triggered by some subconscious desire to be free of the Chalmers family once and for all.

But, she told herself desperately, she did love David, and that was all that mattered. Once they were married she would feel differently about everything. Once they were settled in a home of their own, and perhaps with a family, too, she would find her fears had merely been will-o'-the-wisps, without any substance or foundation. For once she was married to David, she felt sure she would be able to handle his mother in a more positive way.

That evening she dressed with care for their dinner engagement. She wore a dress of heavy black silk which clung to the slender lines of her figure, revealing the curve of her breast and the lithe smoothness of her hips. With it she wore a dark red cape and she was ready and waiting when David arrived at seven-fifteen. He, too, looked smart in a dinner jacket and Susan wondered what he had told his mother about this evening.

He looked very impressed when he saw Susan and said, ‘I'm quite looking forward to this evening. Halstad is a very influential man. He may be able to put some work our way.'

Susan stared at him. ‘What on earth has a pressman in common with an architect?'

‘Well, nothing really, my dear, but Halstad doesn't only dabble in things literary. He has interests all over the world. Why, Mathews was only saying this afternoon what an opportunity this was …'

Susan gasped. Mathews was the head partner in the firm and a man she both disliked and despised. A married man, he spent his free time at night clubs and strip-shows, taking up with different women to the shame and embarrassment of his wife, caring nothing for his three children, other than that they be provided with a paid education and adequately provided with the material comforts his money could buy. On the rare occasions when he had encountered Susan he had treated her like another of his conquests and she had been horrified that David had done nothing and said nothing to prevent her discomfort.

‘If you think this evening is going to be turned into a business meeting, you're mistaken,’ she exclaimed hotly. ‘Amanda has invited us and you will kindly remember that and give her the consideration she deserves. I will not have you introducing work into the conversation. Good heavens, Dominic Halstad isn't interested in Mathews, Mathews, Graham and Chalmers!'

David looked taken aback. ‘I say, Susan, don't get on your high horse, old girl. I'm only thinking of us, you know.'

‘Are you? Are you?’ Susan buttoned her cape. ‘Anyway, remember what I've said, and try to be a little more friendly towards Amanda. She's been very kind to me, and I'm very fond of her.'

‘All right, Susan, I get the message,’ said David, becoming a little annoyed now. ‘I don't know why you think I would say anything out of place. I'm sure I have as much discretion as the next man.'

Susan smiled at this and wished wryly that it was true.

They arrived at Amanda's apartment at about seven-forty-five. Sarah admitted them and they removed their coats in the hallway before entering the large lounge.

This room extended the length of the apartment block and was divided by a librenza into two parts; one used for dining and the other as the lounge. It was tastefully decorated with furniture which was neither modern nor old-fashioned. Amanda was not interested in collectors’ items and yet there were several good pieces of Sheraton and Chippendale which looked rather out of place beside the Formica-topped occasional table and stereophonic radiogram.

Dominic Halstad was seated on the low couch near the pseudo-log fire, the diffused lighting darkening his already tanned skin and giving him a faintly foreign air. He was sitting forward glancing at the draft of Amanda's latest novel, and he looked at home and very relaxed.

He rose to his feet immediately at their entrance, and smiled. Susan was acutely aware of how her nerves had tensed again, and of how her spine tingled in a most unusual manner. The colour mounted in her cheeks and she was glad that David's eyes were not on her at that moment.

But David himself was walking towards the other man, holding out his hand and saying, ‘You must be Mr. Halstad. My name is Chalmers, sir. I'm very pleased to meet you.'

Feeling she was neglecting her duties, Susan hastily joined them and made unnecessary introductions. She felt aware that Dominic Halstad was rather amused by her, and she felt annoyed and altogether uncomfortable.

After they were seated, Dominic said, ‘Amanda is fussing over the dinner in the kitchen, so can I provide you with a drink? What would you like, Susan?'

Susan shrugged. ‘A Martini, perhaps,’ she murmured. ‘Thank you.'

‘How about you, Chalmers?'

David bit his lip. ‘I … well … perhaps the same for me, sir.'

Dominic raised his dark eyebrows and walked indolently across to the cocktail cabinet. Susan glanced at David and he shrugged his shoulders defensively. He had never accepted a drink in her presence before.

Dominic returned with two Martinis and a Scotch with ice for himself. After handing them their drinks he seated himself opposite them in a low armchair and said:

‘I understand you're engaged. When do you intend getting married?'

‘In October,’ replied David swiftly. ‘We're saving up for a house.'

Susan glanced at David. So they were going to have their own house. She wondered whether he had told his mother so definitely. It did not seem likely. It was probably simply bravado away from her domineering attitude.

‘Very good. There are some pleasant new developments on the outskirts of the city. I've noticed quite a number of changes since my return.'

‘You've been abroad?’ David was interested.

‘Yes. I only returned this week.'

‘Really. Where have you been?'

Susan glanced at the kitchen door, and wondered whether she could make some excuse and go and talk to Amanda in the kitchen. For some reason, Dominic Halstad's presence overpowered her and she found she could not look away from his compelling gaze.

Amanda emerged from the kitchen at that moment, as though in answer to Susan's unspoken prayer, and said:

‘Hullo, there. How are you, David?’ She smiled round. ‘I see you've all been provided with drinks. Good. I thought Dom would look after you.'

The two men, who had risen at her entrance, reseated themselves as Amanda took the chair beside Susan. Then Dominic got up again, and grinned.

‘I suppose I ought to offer you a drink,’ he remarked laughingly. ‘After all, it's your apartment and your liquor.'

‘That's right, darling. I'll have a whisky, please, with a little ginger.'

David looked disapprovingly at Susan, and she shrugged almost imperceptibly. Martinis were one thing. Strong stuff like Scotch was for men, not for women!

They lit cigarettes, although Dominic Halstad produced a case of cigars and preferred to have one of them. David refused a cigarette but accepted a cigar, and Susan felt an uncontrollable fit of giggles assailing her. Surely David, who did not smoke, was not going to attempt to smoke a cigar!

But David allowed Dominic Halstad to light his cigar and drew back, puffing furiously.

Susan looked away from him, and turned to Amanda in order to stop herself from laughing, while Dominic Halstad lay back in his seat, an amused expression on his face.

Susan felt suddenly annoyed with him. Did he know how inexperienced David was at smoking? Had Amanda told him he was both a teetotaller and a non-smoker? If he did know, he was being deliberately provocative. Amanda, apparently unconcerned, said, ‘How's Jon these days?'