The Hidden Years

“He kept asking me who I worked for.” Cassidy started to shake. “I’m so cold.”

Jake swept her up into his arms and carried her into the den, her scent enveloping him, just as he’d feared, in old hungers, old needs. Ruthlessly he tried to ignore the softness of her breasts crushed against his chest, the silk of her hair against his neck.

Cassidy needed him, and he could no more ignore her pain than he could ignore a crying baby back in the orphanage. He sat on the sofa and wrapped an afghan around her. Cradling her head on his chest, he tried to warm her with his body heat, and the entire time he wondered how many sleepless nights this would cost him. Still, he’d gladly pay the price of turning and tossing for a year, if that was what it took to give her back her sense of safety.

“No more.” She shivered, and when he kept the ice pressed to her face, she pushed it away.

“Ice will keep the swelling down. You don’t want to mar that perfect complexion. Just bear the cold a little longer. You’re strong. You can do that, Sunshine. Just a little longer, okay?”

He spoke soothingly, but she never relaxed, and her trembling frightened him. Maybe he shouldn’t have moved her. She might be injured more badly than he’d thought.

Where the hell was that ambulance?

THE COPS SHOWED UP entirely too soon for Cassidy. She would have been content just to stay on Jake’s lap, rest her head against his chest and let the security of his strong arms banish the horror of her ordeal.

Never before had she suffered pain that intense. Never before had she suffered such fear. Never before had she faced her mortality on such intimate terms.

She’d thought she was going to die, not in some indeterminable time in the future, but today. Although she’d never resigned herself to dying, she’d had no hope. She hadn’t thought just of the past, of opportunities lost and old regrets, but of all the things she’d never experience. She’d hoped to fall in love. Have children. Grandchildren. And her future could have been taken from her, and she had no idea why.

Then, somehow, Jake had rescued her, and now she wanted to enjoy each priceless moment. Each breath seemed a gift, each caress of his fingers through her hair precious. And the future was once again filled with wondrous possibilities.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“I was happy to do it, Sunshine. I just wish I’d caught the bastard.”

Thanking Jake wasn’t enough. He’d given her the invaluable gift of time, and she wanted him to understand. She could hear the police coming down her street, but she wanted Jake to know how she felt before they arrived.

“Have you ever been sick?”

“Not often,” Jake admitted, “but a few times.”

Pleased that he didn’t seem disturbed by her strange choice of topic, she continued, “Remember all the things you missed? How food didn’t taste good? How you didn’t feel up to a walk on the beach or making a momentous decision?” She tilted her head back and gazed into his warm amber eyes. “Remember how good it felt to get well again? To move with energy and determination, to laugh?”

As if he couldn’t forget what had almost happened to her, Jake looked down at her without smiling. “The newness and wonder of feeling healthy again never lasts. We soon forget and go on as before.”

“Exactly.”

Jake had always been quick to catch on to the threads of her thoughts and weave them together into meaningful ideas.

“I don’t ever want to forget how precious life is,” she said. “I don’t want to waste another minute.”

Jake cocked an arrogant eyebrow and his sexy mouth curved upward in amusement. “You always did live for today, Sunshine.”

“There have been lost opportunities.”

“Is that so?” he murmured, his voice purring like a cat in her ear.

“Things I did and things I didn’t.”

“Like what?”

“I’ve always wanted to travel and I never had the time.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Tahiti, Europe, the Far East.”

“What else?”

“I want children. I want to leave this world knowing I changed it somehow.”

“You still have time for kids.”

“Thanks to you.” But she’d never found the right time and the right man to have those kids with. She hesitated to say more, but then decided to tell him the rest. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to tell him, but after almost dying, the world seemed bright and clean, and she wanted to start over with a fresh slate. And maybe, just maybe, she was testing him, to see his reaction.

“And I regret that we didn’t keep in touch. I’ve missed you.” She said the words in an impulsive burst of emotion before she could change her mind. As Jake’s tender expression turned to stone, his eyes shadowed with thoughts she couldn’t read, she shrugged away the hurt she felt when he didn’t say, I missed you, too.

Knowing Jake had trouble voicing sentimental feelings, she made peace with his silence, placed her cheek against his chest, took comfort in the strong beat of his heart. But she couldn’t regret her boldness. She felt a rapport with Jake that hadn’t diminished over time. Telling Jake her thoughts and feelings had always been easy. That she’d returned to Florida without bothering to renew their friendship had been a mistake. A mistake she intended to rectify if Jake would let her. She was no longer an innocent eighteen-year-old who needed to follow her childhood dream, but a grown woman who’d achieved her goals and could now make her own choices.

Yet, with her outspoken revelation, the closeness between them ended. The air of intimacy vanished.

Jake had withdrawn from her. He might still be holding her on his lap, but his fingers no longer combed through her hair. He no longer curled his arms protectively around her. A stillness surrounded him, practically encasing him in ice.

But it was the emotional distance that had grown as vast as the Gulf of Mexico. Jake had a way of closing off the world, closing off his emotions, from others, from her, maybe even from himself.

“This is Officer Silvero. Everyone okay in there?” a man called out.

Jake’s gestures were gentle, yet more efficient than tender, as he lifted her off his lap and placed her beside him on the sofa. Then, back straight, shoulders squared, he stood to greet the cop. “We’re in the den and all right.”

By the time the police officer entered the room, Jake had his detective identification out of his pocket. Cassidy watched him shake hands with a young earnest-looking officer who couldn’t be much older than twenty, and she heard Jake murmur, “Go easy on her.” Then Jake leaned forward and whispered something she couldn’t hear in the cop’s ear.

“I may be in shock, but I can answer your questions, Officer,” Cassidy said. She knew Jake was probably trying to protect her, but she preferred knowing the facts, no matter how bad a picture those facts painted. She’d never believed in hiding from the truth or letting others take on her problems, and was slightly annoyed with Jake for attempting to do so, even if she did understand his motives.

“I’m Silvero. My partner, Jonesy, is looking around out back. Would you prefer to speak with a female officer, ma’am?”

Cassidy shook her head and regretted it as her skull throbbed. “I wasn’t raped. But I won’t be able to help much, since I can’t identify the man who…”

She stopped and realized this was going to be harder to retell than she’d anticipated. As she’d spoken, images rose to haunt her. Helplessness at being tied. Fear that she had no idea what the man wanted from her. Horror that she would most likely die after a short period of intense suffering. The telling would make her relive the incident—one she badly wanted to forget.

Always sensitive, Jake seemed to understand her difficulty. He leaned close, but didn’t touch her. Instead, he used the soothing tone that had calmed her before. “There’s no rush, Sunshine. You can wait until tomorrow.”

Silvero took out a pad of paper. “Now would be better, sir. She may forget something important by tomorrow.”

“I won’t forget,” Cassidy said, and then looked at Jake, who clearly stood ready to protect her. “And I’d like to get this over with.”

But the ambulance had finally arrived. Cassidy insisted she didn’t need to go to the hospital, and after checking her pulse and her pupils, the medic agreed. “Don’t drink any alcohol for twenty-four hours. If you feel dizzy, have someone take you to the hospital or call 911.

After the medics left, Cassidy quickly told the officer her story, but this time she was detached, pushing her emotions aside. A trick she’d learned when she’d been in law school and had dealt with some unpleasant cases.

She summed up the horrifying incident by sticking to the facts and squashing her emotions in the back of her mind. The effort sapped her energy, and she’d never felt so tired, as though all her muscles had gone to sleep, but she continued through to the end.

“You never saw the intruder?” Silvero asked again when she’d finished.

Cassidy knew better than to shake her head, since every time she did, the pain flared. “Either I was running and my back was to him, or my eyes were covered by the hat.”

“You’re positive it was a man?”

“Yes. He had a guttural voice. And he sounded educated.”

The cop stopped writing and looked up. “What makes you say that?”

Cassidy paused, trying to remember. “His grammar was good.”

Silvero started writing again. “Did he have an accent?”

“No.”

The cop frowned and looked from Cassidy to Jake. “You sure it wasn’t him that hit you?”

“Jake would never strike a woman,” Cassidy said.

Jake sighed as if he’d expected the question. “I’m carrying a weapon in my ankle holster. I never fired it and I gave it to Cassidy to reassure her. Would you like to inspect my weapon, Officer?”

Silvero nodded. “Move slowly, sir.”

Jake bent and handed the cop the weapon just as he’d done Cassidy. Suddenly she felt ashamed that the cop had questioned his honor. He’d saved her life. He didn’t deserve to be questioned. “Jake’s voice is different, deeper, than that of the man who hit me.”

Jake gave him harder evidence than she could supply. “Once you dig the slugs from her wall, you’ll see they don’t match my gun.”

The officer took Jake’s weapon and sniffed. Finally he handed it back to Jake. “How did you happen to come along when you did?”

“I needed to finish an earlier discussion between Cassidy and me.”

Their earlier discussion had been over! Jake had practically thrown her out of his house. Why had he come to her home uninvited, showing up at exactly the right time? Cassidy had seen movies where one man did the dirty work and the other befriended a mark to set up a sting. Although Jake had been furious with her earlier, he had no reason to do that to her.

Jake had once told her how the orphanage unfairly punished children. How he’d often taken onto his shoulders blame that wasn’t his. He couldn’t have changed that much. Besides, after the way he’d gently tended to her, she knew he’d never ever condone violence. Although Jake could be evasive, he was never sneaky or underhanded.

Jake answered the cop, speaking stiffly, shoulders thrown back and defiant. Cassidy sensed how much he disliked this inquisition and how useless he felt it to be. But he remained polite, if aloof.

Cassidy lost track of the interrogation and was jerked back to the present when the cop cleared his throat. “Ma’am?”

“I’m sorry. What was the question?”

“Can you think of anyone who could have done this to you? An ex-husband or former lover? A client?”

“I’m a small-town lawyer. Mostly I draw up wills and trusts, handle real-estate transactions, that sort of thing. I’ve never done criminal work or been married. And my last relationship ended amicably several years ago.”

Cassidy had mixed feelings about the cops going through her home, and once again she was glad Jake was with her. While she appreciated the extra police protection, it seemed an invasion of her privacy to have strangers roaming through her home and asking about her private life. She wanted to close this episode and put it behind her.

Jake folded his arms over his chest and spoke to Officer Silvero. “Enough. She’s tired. Let her rest, and if she thinks of anything else, she’ll call. You have a business card?”

The officer reluctantly closed his notepad. Cassidy sensed that if not for Jake’s intervention, the cop would have questioned her all day.

The officer handed her his card and looked around. “Don’t touch the slugs. I’ll have the crime team dig them out later. No point dusting for prints since the man wore gloves, right?” Cassidy nodded and he continued, “Perhaps you could call a friend over to spend the night?”

Jake shook his head. “She won’t be staying here.”

Cassidy almost objected aloud to his high-handed tactics, then decided to remain quiet. She’d rather discuss her living arrangements with Jake after the cop left. Maybe by then she’d recover some strength. Besides, she wasn’t eager to stay here alone. Not unless the police caught the intruder, and that seemed less likely by the minute.

After Officer Silvero and his partner left, Jake straddled a chair across from her. “I’m going to have a security system installed tomorrow. Until then, you can stay with me.”

“The security system sounds fine, and I appreciate your offer.” Cassidy hesitated, then blurted, “Jake, there’s something I didn’t tell the police.”

Chapter Three

“You forgot to tell the cops that you’re into kinky sex?” Jake’s teasing comment came out of nowhere. He was just hoping to ease her tension.

She humored him with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Nothing so scandalous.”

“You made an illegal U-turn on the way home?”

He didn’t like the paleness of her skin beneath the tan and wanted to see the glow come back. Even more, he wanted to return their friendship to an even keel and forget her words about how she’d wished they’d kept in touch. At night for months after she’d gone off to college, he’d thought of little more than what it would have been like to touch her and have her touch him in return.

He didn’t want those fantasies in his head. Besides, Cassidy had been frightened. Hurt. In shock. And while he didn’t believe that her remarks reflected anything beyond a desire for a platonic friendship, he suspected that her words would haunt his dreams for weeks.

“Jake, stop teasing me.” She rested her head back on the sofa and her golden hair spilled over her shoulders. “When I left your place, I was angry with you.”

“That’s why I came here. To apologize for my bad behavior. Even if your father refused to talk to me, I had no right to blame you for his actions. To practically call you a liar was going way too far. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. I’d say you’ve more than made up for your rudeness by saving my life.” Cassidy shuddered, then raised her chin, and her eyes darkened with determination. “I thought I’d dumped the box’s entire contents at your feet—”

He chuckled. “A highly dramatic gesture that helped me come to my senses.”

“—but one of the papers stayed in the box. A paper with a phone number.”

“You called that number?” he guessed, neither the least bit surprised by her impulsiveness nor bothered that she hadn’t returned to give it to him—not in the dark mood he’d been in. But he’d set those old painful memories aside. He’d moved on with his life. And part of moving on meant realizing that Cassidy had never felt about him the way he’d once felt about her. She’d considered him a friend and had never wanted more. He’d been the one who’d once wanted more, but he hadn’t been willing to show her how he’d really felt and risk losing her friendship. But that was all a long time ago.

He was different now, not so afraid to risk what he had to get what he wanted. But had Cassidy changed? Was she still the same person he remembered? Did she see him as the friend he’d once been? Or did she see him as a man with wants and needs and desires?

Cassidy’s sweet voice drew him from his thoughts. “The woman who answered my call asked for a password. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just read the words off the slip of paper.”

A password? He shoved aside thoughts about the past and concentrated on the present. Cassidy had his full attention. “What password?”

“I can’t remember. The paper’s in my purse in the kitchen, I think.”

Jake retrieved her purse and watched her dig through it. She was starting to recover from her ordeal. Slowly her voice was regaining some strength, her shoulders were slumping less. And he could only admire her courage.

Cassidy had grown up in a secure home with loving parents who’d given her every advantage in life. Yet she wasn’t spoiled. She’d had to live with setbacks and a few hard knocks. After her mother’s death from cancer, she’d shown a resilience that was a testament to Frazier Atkins’s fathering skills. And if the man had become overprotective of his daughter, Jake wouldn’t have blamed him—except that overprotectiveness had sliced Cassidy from Jake’s life.

While Cassidy might be facing her own mortality for the first time, she wasn’t just coping. She was thinking with all eight cylinders. And just like ten years ago, her primary thoughts weren’t revolving around him.

At least she seemed willing and able to keep her thoughts trained on business. Right now, Jake couldn’t afford the distraction of brooding over the past, not when Cassidy’s life might be at stake.

“Here it is!” She handed him the paper. “‘Blow back.’ That’s what I said, and the woman connected me. There was a long wait. Finally a man answered and asked who I worked for.” Cassidy’s eyes suddenly grew wide, her words rushed out with a burst of excitement. “That’s what I couldn’t remember. The man who broke in asked the same exact question as the person at this number. Both wanted to know who I worked for.”

But Cassidy didn’t work for anybody. What the hell was going on?

It could have been a coincidence, but Jake didn’t believe it. He’d spent too long as a detective, too long investigating the seamier side of life on behalf of his clients not to recognize a tenuous connection. Something in that box, someone Cassidy had called, had placed her life in danger.

She’d almost died because she’d done him a favor. “If you hadn’t tried to help me, you wouldn’t be in danger.”

She warily looked at the windows, then squared her shoulders. “The intruder is gone. Who says I’m still in danger?”

“I think your phone call triggered the intruder’s showing up on your doorstep, but he didn’t get what he wanted.”

Cassidy’s forehead wrinkled in a frown. “But I don’t work for anyone. I didn’t know what he wanted.”

“But if he thinks you have the answers he wants, he may come back.” Jake dragged a hand through his hair, weighing possibilities and options.

“Maybe we need to tell the police,” Cassidy suggested.

“We have nothing solid. Even if they believed us, the Crescent Cove police department doesn’t have the manpower to pursue an investigation.” Jake scowled at the thought of law enforcement, of policemen grilling Cassidy and himself about his past, asking questions they couldn’t answer. Jake dialed his cell phone, the paper Cassidy had given him still in his hand. “Harrison, you still have that friend at the phone company?”

Harrison groaned. “It’ll cost me a dinner and dancing.”

“You can use the exercise,” Jake quipped. “I want you to trace this call.” Jake gave Harrison the number. “I’ll pay for the dinner.”

“But how’re you going to pay for my aching feet?”

After Jake hung up, Cassidy looked up at him, her eyes thoughtful. “I think we should go through the box’s contents carefully. Maybe there will be clues that can tell us what’s going on. I know you didn’t want my help, I know you blame my father for not giving you the box ten years ago, but we have to go on. My life may be at stake. I feel as if I’m entitled to see this through. Don’t make me wait alone while you search for answers. Please, Jake?”

He could ignore neither her fear nor her sincerity. And still he hesitated. “You might be in more danger if you help me.”

She countered with direct simplicity. “I feel safer with you than without you.”

Her words brought back that warm glow in his gut, but he suspected she would have said the same to any man who’d saved her. She wasn’t speaking on a personal level of emotion, but out of concern for her physical safety. “You aren’t a qualified detective, Sunshine.”

“I won’t get in your way.”

Negotiations began. And she’d sidestepped the issue of her lack of qualifications. A lawyer tactic. But they weren’t in court. They were out in the real world, a world where the players often had their own set of rules. Rules she wouldn’t fathom. Rules that could get them killed.

While he sensed her determination, he could be just as determined. While he’d offered to let her stay with him for one night, he didn’t want her underfoot, a constant reminder of the hurt she’d caused him in the past, during an investigation that could take days or weeks. “But you won’t take orders, either, Sunshine. You always do what you think is best.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” She didn’t bother to deny his words, and his admiration for her rose another notch.

Jake shook his head, glanced out the window at the palms swaying in the breeze, then back at her. “A client would let me lead the way, since I do have over ten years of experience.”

She fingered the snap on her purse. Her fingers shook slightly and then she balled them into a fist. “You aren’t going to leave me alone. I’m scared like I’ve never been before. That maniac might come back. And this time I might not be lucky enough to be rescued. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I want to help you find that man and put him in jail where he belongs.”

She cradled her trembling fist in her other hand, trying to prevent it from shaking, and his heart went out to her. First her mother had died, then her father, leaving her alone in the world. Better than anyone, Jake could empathize with Cassidy. He knew what it was like to be alone, without family. He responded to the fear in her voice by offering another solution, one that would keep her safe, yet at a distance from him. “We could hire a bodyguard. Get you round-the-clock protection.”

Cassidy stood and faced him, her hands on her hips. “That’s not good enough. I don’t want to live like that. So here’s the deal, Jake. Either you let me help you, or…”

“Or what?”

“I’ll hire another private investigator and follow the clues on my own.”

He had no doubt she would do just as she promised. Still, he tested her resolve, made his voice deliberately harsh. “I don’t respond to ultimatums.”

“And I don’t respond to death threats.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “Do we have a deal?”

“MAYBE WE’LL BOTH think better on a full stomach. How about dinner?” Jake asked, his tone polite, his manner reserved.

As he drove her to a local bar and grill, Cassidy tried to think of ways to convince him to let her tag along while he searched for his sisters and for clues as to why she’d been attacked. She knew he’d respond to her fear more than her arguments. Jake had a soft spot for the underdog that she’d exploited with a mercilessness that surprised her. She’d taken advantage of her knowledge of Jake’s past, deliberately allowing her fear to show. Jake had once told her that in the orphanage, he’d helped comfort those kids who needed it, protected them from bullies, always hoping that someone else was protecting his sisters as he protected those close to him. In her fear, she’d shamelessly exploited Jake’s vulnerability, but Cassidy didn’t regret her actions. She hadn’t faked her fear. She could hide her terror if necessary, but she wouldn’t rest easy until the man who’d attacked her was behind bars.