The Man Who Wouldn't Marry

Right. Kick back and mope was more like it.

Lucky for her, Molly was home when she called and was currently husbandless, since Blake was off on a flight. Maybe today wouldn’t be as bad as she feared. Molly swung by the hotel and picked Sammi up, refusing to let her drive all the way out to the house.

‘It was on the way to the restaurant,’ her friend insisted, once they sat at the table of a popular seafood place.

The aroma of garlic and fresh fish swirled around the foyer, and Sammi gave an appreciative sniff, beginning to relax a little. ‘It’s been a while since I’ve been out to eat.’

It was true. Normally on these jaunts she simply grabbed some Chinese takeout and carried it back to the room, as it felt pathetic to sit at a table all by herself. But with Molly there, things seemed a little more festive, a little less sad.

Once they were seated, she cracked open the menu and tried not to wince at the prices. Maybe this was why she didn’t go out to eat that much. But she’d earned this respite. Toby was safe, and she wouldn’t get that many chances to see Molly now that she was back in Anchorage. ‘How’s Blake?’

‘He’s fine. In fact, he’s more than fine.’ Molly leaned forward, her glance darting around the room before coming back to rest on Sammi with a smile. ‘Okay, so we weren’t going to tell anyone yet, but… I’m pregnant.’

‘What?’ So this was why her friend had been practically glowing when she’d arrived at the hotel. ‘Holy cow. Are you serious?’

‘I am. You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to squeeze into my wedding gown.’ She laughed. ‘But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Blake and I wanted to announce it together once the pregnancy was further along. But you’re so far away… and I wanted you to be the first to know.’

Sammi’s eyes pricked unexpectedly, remembering her own excitement when she’d discovered she was pregnant with Toby. ‘Oh, Molly, I’m so happy for you. You’re going to make a wonderful mother.’

‘You think so? I wasn’t actually sure I wanted to have children, but…’ She laid her menu down. ‘Here we are.’

‘You’re going to love it. Having Toby changed my life. For the better,’ she was quick to add. ‘You’ll be exhausted and frustrated and scared… and you’ll love every second of it.’

Molly reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘Thank you. I may be calling you for advice at some point.’

The waiter came and took their order, leaving them to chat. About halfway through the meal, Blake strode into the restaurant, his eyes fastening immediately on Molly, who bit her lip and stood as he reached them. ‘I thought you said you’d be gone until tomorrow.’

He grinned and dropped a kiss on her mouth, then hugged Sammi. Pulling up a chair next to his wife’s, he looped an arm around her shoulders. ‘I missed you and decided to come back early. So what have you girls been talking about?’

Molly’s cheeks immediately turned pink, causing Blake to lean back in his chair, brows raised. ‘I thought so.’

‘I know we decided not to tell anyone, but… Sammi is family.’

Blake’s mouth quirked. ‘Yeah, kind of like an annoying little sister.’

Sammi, although the same age as Blake, had been the runt of the class during their childhood days. He’d never let her forget it, even though she was now five feet seven.

Sammi leaned across the table and swatted his arm. ‘Molly doesn’t seem to think so.’ She paused, letting her eyes convey her true thoughts. ‘Seriously, though. Congratulations.’

‘Thanks.’

Molly smiled up at him. ‘Do you want to order something?’

He plucked a huge battered shrimp from her plate, munching it before he answered. ‘No, I ate on the way. I’m stuffed.’

‘I can tell,’ she said, when he snagged a second piece.

He laughed. ‘I’m meeting a friend for drinks later, anyway, so I can’t stay. I just wanted to see you first.’

‘I see. And just who is this friend?’

Sammi’s phone buzzed, indicating she was getting a text. She scrunched her nose. ‘Sorry guys, I know it’s not polite, but I told Brad to let me know if their plans were going to change. Do you mind?’

‘It’s fine.’ Molly waved her fork.

Retrieving the phone from her handbag, she pressed a button to retrieve the message. The low lighting in the restaurant caused her to squint as she tried to make out the letters, but once she did, she gasped, her heart dropping. ‘Oh, God, I have to go.’ She threw her napkin on the table and stood.

Alarmed, her friends got to their feet as well. ‘What is it?’

She stuffed her phone back in her purse. Her voice shook as she tried to get the words out. ‘They’re rushing Toby to the hospital.’

CHAPTER FOUR

SAMMI raced through the doors of the emergency room, while Molly parked the car. They’d left Blake at the restaurant to pay the bill and follow in his own vehicle.

Brad met her in the reception area, his wife and daughter nowhere to be seen. ‘Where is he?’ she demanded, her breath rushing from her lungs.

‘Calm down. He’s with one of the doctors.’

‘Then why the hell are you out here, instead of back there with him?’ Toby had to be frightened out of his wits.

Her ex’s eyes narrowed in warning. ‘I did go with him. But I didn’t want you to hear what happened from some stranger.’

‘Sorry.’ Her anger deflated. ‘Was it his asthma?’

‘Yes.’ He stuffed his hands into his pockets. ‘He’s never had an attack while with us. I thought it wasn’t really that serious… that he’d be okay.’

She remembered his face when she’d handed over the inhaler. He’d thought she was just babying Toby yet again. ‘You left his medicine in the car, didn’t you?’

‘Not on purpose. I had it in my pocket when we left, then asked Toby to put it in his backpack for safekeeping. When we got to the zoo… well, I didn’t want him lugging the pack with him all day.’

‘I’m going back there to see him.’

By that time, Molly had joined them. ‘I’ll see where he is.’

‘Why didn’t you just go and get his inhaler once you realized he was having trouble?’

‘It came on so fast. He couldn’t get enough air.’ His lips tightened. ‘I didn’t know how long it would take to work. I—I panicked, Sammi.’

She touched his arm, compassion sweeping over her. She knew how frightening Toby’s attacks could be. ‘You did the right thing getting him here as fast as possible.’

Molly returned. ‘He’s okay. I’ll take you back to him.’

‘Thank you.’ She glanced at Brad. ‘Are you coming?’

‘I’ll wait for Maribel. She’s dropping Jessie off at the sitter’s.’

Molly led her back to an exam room, where her son sat on a table holding a nebulizer mask over his mouth and nose. Hurrying over to him, she leaned down and looked into his face. She raised her brows in the wordless question they’d devised to communicate during these times. He answered with a thumbs-up sign, although his breathing still sounded a little ragged to her ears. His color looked good, so Brad had told the truth about not wasting any time getting him here. She pressed her lips to his forehead, then checked the amount of medication remaining in the nebulizer cup. The treatment was about half-finished.

‘Did you talk to the doctor?’ She glanced at Molly, who was standing by the door.

Molly nodded. ‘It was serious…’ she glanced toward Toby as if unsure how much to say in front of him ‘… but manageable. They want to observe him for a couple of hours before they discharge him. They’ve got a call in to the pulmonologist, who should be here in a few minutes.’

‘I—I don’t know if Brad still has his inhaler. Can I get a new prescription just in case?’

‘I’m sure we’ve got some extras here at the hospital. I’ll give you one to take home with you. Albuterol, right?’

‘Yes.’ Sammi hopped up onto the bed beside Toby and put her arms around him, a surge of love and thankfulness going through her. She kissed the top of his head. ‘I’m going to leave in a minute or two to give Daddy a chance to see you, okay? He’s pretty worried.’

Toby pulled the mask down. ‘I want to go home.’

‘We will.’ She put her hand over his, steering the mask back into place. ‘As soon as the doctor says it’s safe. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us tomorrow.’

Molly touched her arm and nodded toward the door. ‘The doctor’s in the hall.’

‘I’m going with Aunt Molly for a minute. I’ll be right outside that door, if you need me.’ She gave him one last kiss and slid off the table.

Going into the hallway with Molly, she was able to speak with the doctor who’d treated her son. He assured her Toby was going to be fine. His breathing was already better, but they wanted to do a pulmonary function test as soon as he finished with the nebulizer.

Sammi smiled. ‘That’s Toby’s favorite part of any hospital visit.’ She sighed. ‘Actually, that’s the only part he likes. It’s like a challenge to see if he can beat his last set of results.’

‘It’s my favorite part too.’ Dr. Donnelly’s kind blue eyes twinkled, helping to reassure her. ‘Believe me, I want our buddy in there to ace that test as much as you do.’

‘Thanks for everything you’ve done. I’m going to run and get his father, okay?’

‘Of course,’ he answered.

Sammi wasn’t sure, but she thought she detected a hint of interest in the man’s look at her. The doctor was attractive enough, his dark, conservatively cut hair falling neatly over his forehead. Nothing like Mark’s slightly shaggy locks that seemed as loose and free as the rest of him.

Why had she thought of him, of all people?

Besides, despite her earlier thoughts about putting herself back on the market, now was not the time. Not with her son sitting in that room fighting for each breath. ‘I’ll go and get his father.’

She headed for the waiting room. Brad, his back to her, stood at one of the large windows, staring outside. Maribel had arrived and was leaning against him, whispering in his ear. Sammi hesitated before touching his arm. ‘You can see him now. He’s better.’

‘Thank God.’ He turned part way around and met her eyes. ‘I think I’ll keep an extra inhaler or two on hand from now on. Can you help me get them?’

‘I think that’s a great idea. Molly’s going to see if she can find a couple.’ She dropped her hand to her side. ‘Go ahead. He’s waiting for you.’

Brad and his wife walked away, pushing through the double doors that led to the various exam rooms. She stood there for a few moments, her arms wrapped around her waist, trying to convince herself things were going to be all right. It was a losing battle.

‘How is he?’ The sudden question raised the hair on her neck. Actually, it wasn’t the question itself but the familiar voice behind it. Low and mellow, the tone slid over her like warm honey.

Sammi whirled around to find Mark standing there, both hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. She could have sworn he wasn’t there a second ago. ‘How—? What are you doing—?’

‘I dropped off some clients this afternoon and was supposed to meet up with Blake later for drinks. He called my cell on his way to the hospital.’

So this was the friend Blake had mentioned meeting earlier. ‘He did? Why?’

‘He wanted to let me know he might be late.’ His jaw tightened. ‘Don’t worry. He wasn’t trying to invade your privacy.’

‘I didn’t think that.’

So what had she thought? That Mark wouldn’t care one way or the other what happened to her or her son? Yep. But trying to explain that in a way that didn’t sound bitter—or like she was stuck in some sad version of the past—was impossible. So she decided to answer his original question instead. ‘Toby’s better. Brad’s with him now.’

‘I know. I saw him when I came in.’

There’d never been any love lost between the two men, although she wasn’t quite sure why. In school they’d all run in different circles. She’d been a geek, while Mark had hung out with the rougher crowd. Brad had been firmly in the jock camp—the all-American-hero type. Her ex had always kind of looked down on Mark when they’d been kids. Maybe Mark had sensed that.

She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Did you see Blake? He should be here by now.’

‘He’s waiting for Molly in the cafeteria. We decided to cancel our plans.’

Uh-oh. She’d assumed he was killing time until Blake arrived. Maybe she should start looking for an exit. ‘Are you going back to the island tomorrow?’

‘If Toby is released by then.’

She blinked, not sure what that had to do with anything. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Are they planning to hold him overnight?’

Was she missing something? ‘No, just observe him for a couple more hours to make sure the attack is over.’

‘Good. We should be able to leave in the morning, then.’

‘We?’

Okay, there was something strange going on. Where exactly were they going?

‘I’m flying you back to the island.’

‘We bought round trip tickets for the ferry, we can…’

The words died in her throat when he took a step closer, brushing back a strand of hair that had come loose from her braid. ‘There’s no way in hell I’m letting you take that ferry back to the island. Not with Toby sick.’

His fingers were warm against her skin, and she wanted more than anything to lean into his palm, to hand over a tiny portion of her burden. But she didn’t dare. Mark had proved he could—and would—walk away without a backward glance. That’s not what she wanted for her son. He was already enamored with Mark as it was. Watching him pilot a plane would only make it worse. The thought made her stiffen against his touch. ‘We’ll be okay.’

‘You’re right. You will.’ His hand dropped to her shoulder. ‘Because you’re flying back with me. Both of you.’

Driving Toby and Sammi back to the hotel, Mark wasn’t quite sure why she’d seemed so averse to flying with him. Being out in that frigid air couldn’t be good for Toby’s lungs. Not right after an attack that had landed him in the hospital. And especially not after the way she’d angled her face toward his hand for a second as he’d brushed his fingers across her cheek in the emergency room. His breath had caught, memories of her doing that very same thing in the past sweeping over him.

But neither of them were the kids they’d once been. And Sammi evidently had an easier time accepting that than he did, because she’d pulled away. He, on the other hand, had been lost the moment he’d touched her. All he’d wanted to do was press his lips to hers and feel the response that used to set his world on fire.

He’d told Molly and Blake he’d make sure Sammi got back to the hotel, as her rental car was still there. She hadn’t seemed very happy about that either, although she’d kept silent. Glancing over at her as she stared out the passenger window, he wondered if he’d done the right thing in demanding she accept his offer. But she couldn’t take Toby on that ferry, dammit. Even she had to see that.

‘You doing okay back there, buddy?’ He peered into the rear-view mirror to find Toby leaning against the window in the back, eyes shut, mouth open. A thrill of anxiety went through him, along with a flashing image of a different boy—blood everywhere as the medics worked on the horrific wounds covering his small body. The same child who inhabited many of his current nightmares.

But Toby wasn’t that boy. And he wasn’t injured, just asleep. Mark forced his hands to ease their grip on the wheel, and thankfully the memory faded away.

He glanced at Sammi to make sure she hadn’t noticed anything. ‘He’s out.’

‘I’m sure he’s exhausted.’ Sammi twisted around in her seat to look, her dark braid looped over her left shoulder. He’d teased her about that long length of hair in high school, tugging on it repeatedly. Those had been during the light times, when they’d just been good friends. Later, when they’d been more than friends, he could remember wrapping that braid around his hand to hold her in place as he kissed her. Or removing the band and unwinding those thick lustrous strands so that they could fall loose and free.

This was a mistake, and he knew it. Being around her and Toby was reawakening the very things he’d tried to wipe from his mind. But he had no choice. It was time he thought about someone other than himself.

He was. He had been. It’s why he’d left Dutch Harbor all those years ago.

So why had he moved back to his hometown? Why hadn’t he just stayed away?

Because his mother needed him. At least that’s what he told himself.

Soon they were parked in front of the hotel’s check-in area. ‘Which room?’

‘Four-oh-two.’ Sammi’s voice remained soft. ‘Thank you, Mark. I know I didn’t seem very grateful back at the hospital, but you’re right. It’s better for Toby if we fly back. We’re not taking you away from a customer?’

It wouldn’t matter if they were. This was more important than a tourist. ‘Nope. I don’t have another charter trip on the docket until Tuesday, and that’s just a quick little island hop.’

Mark found the room number and pulled up in front of it. ‘I’ll help you get him inside, then I’ll check in. I’ll call you with my room number.’

‘Wait. Weren’t you going to stay with Blake and Molly?’ In the dark, he could just make out her frown.

‘I thought it might be easier to leave first thing if I stayed here. They’re forecasting sleet in the morning, and I’d like to be in the air before it hits.’ He hesitated. ‘And if something happens, you might need someone nearby.’

His chest tightened at the thought.

She unbuckled her seat belt then shoved her arms through the sleeves of her down jacket. She didn’t say anything as she clicked open the door and stepped from the car, so Mark had no idea if she was happy or furious that he was staying at the hotel. It didn’t matter either way. It was the right thing to do.

Getting out of the car as well, he pulled Toby’s door open and carefully released the latch on the seat belt. Then he slid his arms under the boy’s shoulders and knees and eased him from the car, thankful the kid’s jacket was still buttoned up tight. He was light. Almost as light as the boy he’d once carried to his chopper. That seemed like a lifetime ago now.

Had it only been a year?

It’s over. Done. You can’t undo the past.

Mark used his own body to block the wind, backing towards the door that Sammi had already opened.

‘He likes the far bed,’ she whispered as they went past.

‘His backpack is still in the car.’ Mark walked toward the bed, glancing down at the child’s slack face and dark lashes fanned out against his cheeks. A shard of loss went through his chest, and he suddenly had trouble catching his breath.

After setting the boy down on the blue bedspread, he carefully unzipped his coat, thankful the heat had been left on in the room. The weather conditions had turned frigid outside. So different from the stifling heat of Afghanistan and its twin scents of blood and fear that would often sweep through their camp like a dust storm, coating everything in sight. Even now it stung his nostrils, filled his lungs—

‘Mark?’

He jerked upright, turning toward her. ‘Yes?’

‘I—I wanted to thank you for what you’re doing. It means a lot to me.’ Before he could prepare himself, she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his cheek. The touch was as light as a feather, but it was as if something in his heart clicked back on. Fear—and something much stronger—began racing through his veins.

He had to take a step back before he wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her into his arms, hoping her very presence could banish the memories he’d locked deep inside himself. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’d do the same for anyone.’

Something flared behind her eyes, and he damned himself for not thinking before he opened his big mouth. Yes, he’d do it for anyone, but the suggestion had been so much more than the casual offer from one stranger to another.

As she said goodbye and closed the door on him, he had his first inkling that he might be headed on a dangerous course. He couldn’t save the world, he’d already proved that to himself and everyone around him. He’d left Dutch Harbor eight years ago a scared and messed-up kid. He’d returned an even more screwed-up man. One who could barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. He’d do well to keep that in mind before making any other big promises he couldn’t keep.

Like promising a little boy he’d be fine? That he wouldn’t die like his mother and father had?

Mark set off for the lobby, a wave of exhaustion going through him. If there was one thing he’d learned, it was that promises were the stuff of fairy-tales—not worth more than the hot air used to voice them. He’d broken one too many of them over the course of his life.

But not any more.

He pulled off his clothes and slid beneath the bulky covers of his bed, the chill from the sheets clinging to skin like the ice that sometimes coated the props on his plane.

No more promises from him. Not to Toby. And especially not to Sammi.

Mark frowned as he peered over the steaming surface of the desert. The wind from his chopper’s rotors whipped a woman’s dark hair around her face as she pushed toward the aircraft. Even from a hundred yards away, something about her looked familiar.

The wife of their translator, who was now dead at the hands of insurgents. His eyes went to the bundle she carried in her arms.

A bomb!

The thought scrabbled through his mind, sending fear spiking through his veins.

The medics had just raced to help several downed soldiers who’d gotten caught in the crossfire, leaving Mark alone.

She moved a few yards closer. Mark motioned for her to stay away that it was too dangerous for her to be here, but she shook her head, taking another step. The swirling currents caused the cloth to fall away from the top portion of the object, allowing Mark to catch a glimpse of what was inside. Instead of a hardwired mass of explosives, a small face appeared, a vicious smear of red across his temple… his cheek.

Ahmed, her child!

Without thinking, he shoved open his door and hopped down to her level, blocking the wind with his body like he’d done with Toby earlier.

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