Pear Shaped

‘But he’s away regularly?’

I count the number of times James has gone away for business since I met him. Maybe six.

‘What, Pauly? Just say it, you’re worrying me.’

‘I hate to break it to you, but I think your dude’s married.’

I laugh, relieved. ‘He’s not married. Definitely not. He stayed over last Saturday and Sunday. And Monday. There’s no way his wife wouldn’t twig.’

‘Maybe he tells her he’s away on business.’

‘His phone’s always on, she’d call.’ Now I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard it ring. Maybe it’s on silent …

‘He has two cell phones, cheaters always do,’ says Pauly, grabbing some fries from my plate. ‘There’s a wife.’

‘No, definitely not. I’ve been to his house, no trace of one.’

‘Okay, maybe not a wife but it sounds like there’s another woman, maybe several.’

You know what? I have a lot of time for Pauly but I’m not going to take advice from a guy whose longest relationship was three and a half months, and who expresses doubts that man ever landed on the moon.

‘Look, he’s just a commitment-phobe, plain and simple.’

‘No. Something’s up. If you’re okay to keep going, just taking these crumbs he’s giving you, that’s cool – but that doesn’t sound like your style.’

‘Let’s change the subject. Where are we going for pudding?’

On my way to the airport the following evening, I replay what Pauly was saying about James offering me ‘crumbs’, and how little I’m demanding from him. Maybe I should say something the next time I see him …

Then, as I board my flight, I get a text from James saying, ‘I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 7pm, you choose the restaurant.’ Now that’s more like it.

I open my front door to him and his eyes widen and he breaks into a grin.

‘Nice top,’ he says, kissing me.

‘You like? $20 from Loehmanns.’

‘I like. Where are we eating? Claridges? The Ivy?’

‘God, no,’ I say. ‘Head west, my treat.’

We are halfway through dinner at my favourite, favourite restaurant, Number One Thai, off Ladbroke Grove. Under the table our legs are touching and when I tell him about all the places I went to in New York, he says, ‘Next time I’m coming with you.’ (He doesn’t believe me about the diamond teeth.)

I pop to the toilet and as I come back to the table he grabs my waist, pulls me toward him and kisses me, holding the back of my head with both hands. I love you, James Stephens. I do, I do.

‘So your friend, Paul …’ he says.

‘Pauly, yes?’

‘Did he try it on then? I bet he did …’

‘Of course not, he’s got some crazy sexy Italian girlfriend.’

‘But you used to have a thing with him.’

‘Not at all, just a snog, years ago. It was nothing, we didn’t have sex or anything.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ he says.

‘We didn’t! We just fooled around, it was all very innocent.’

‘I still don’t think it’s right that you stayed at his apartment.’

‘Why ever not? He wasn’t even there!’

‘It’s just … I don’t know.’

‘There’s nothing whatsoever to be jealous about,’ I say.

‘I’m not jealous. I just think it’s odd. One of you must fancy the other one …’

‘Just because you can’t be friends with a woman you don’t want to shag doesn’t mean other men can’t … now please could you pour me some wine?’

He fills my glass up.

‘It’s not right,’ he says.

‘James, I’ve told you all about Pauly. I’m being totally honest with you because I’m trying to be a grown-up. Because I like you.’

I lift my glass to my mouth and smile, but James looks like he’s been slapped.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ I say.

He takes a long breath.

‘What is it, are you okay?’ I say. He suddenly looks queasy with nerves.

He nods slowly.

‘Ever since I met you, since that first night, I’ve felt there was something very special about you …’

Oh my God. He’s going to propose.

‘And I’ve tried to keep my distance but when I’m not with you I miss you …’

He’s going to propose!

‘And when I don’t speak to you, I just want to call you …’

HE IS GOING TO PROPOSE!

‘But there’s a problem.’

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