Lilith’s Castle

GILL ALDERMAN

Lilith’s Castle

Each page a promise that all

shall be well

COPYRIGHT

Harper Voyager

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Copyright © Gill Alderman 1999

Gill Alderman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780006482727

Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2016 ISBN: 9780008228446

Version: 2016-12-22

DEDICATION

To Justine and Dorothy

with love.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Prologue

The Pathless Way

The Palace of Shadows

Keep Reading

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Other Books By

About the Publisher

PROLOGUE

he fleeth as it were a shadow

Nandje, Rider of the Red Horse, Father and Imandi to the Ima tribe, lay still beneath the ceremonial blanket which covered him. The bustard feathers woven into it pierced his face with their long barbs and the rawhide strips lay heavier than lead on his throat, part of him and also something separate, deadly and symbolic. The felted horsehair had sucked up his blood and sunk into the rotting craters which were his wounds. He knew himself to be no longer human and a man but as much and little as the earth on which the Horse Herd also trampled, wounding its soft surface with the same lunular pits.

It was ill to be thus trapped underground, within a redundant body whose eyelids were held down with stones, nostrils and lips sewn shut with dried Plains grasses. Nor could he recall the Past, whatever that unlikely concept was, or look into the Future as he had once been able, in life. The Now, terrible, endless, was all: death inescapable, triumphant, eternal.

Aza, the Shaman, lifted the blanket from Nandje’s face and observed the dead Imandi’s crushed skull and grotesquely distorted face. The skin was drying out and splitting, pulling his twelve-month-old stitching apart. He found an end and pulled the grass strands out, to the last shred and wisp, using his nails where the flesh had tightened round the thread.

‘The sleep of death is long,’ said Aza ‘but there comes a time to awaken.’

He took up the pointed stick he had prepared during the long mourning and thrust it between the lips and teeth of the corpse, down savagely, hard to the base of the throat. It groaned and belched as the gases rose and bubbled from its liquid interior and a terrible stench was hurled into his face. The corpse moths which had been incubated in Nandje’s body flew free, a many-winged pied cloud.

‘Nay, go peacefully to the Palace of Shadows!’ he cried. ‘Be wise and kind, as you were with us.’

The final alteration had taken place with the freeing and the flight of Nandje’s soul. All that remained was lolling, putrefying matter which Aza might leave alone to complete its metamorphosis, flesh to grass. Tenderly and carefully, for this was the last office he was able to perform for Nandje, he rolled back and folded the death-blanket and carried it with him, up into the light.

THE PATHLESS WAY

Leave the past behind; leave the future behind;

leave the present behind

It is the usual thing for a herd led by a mare

to be strayed and destroyed

The night was almost over and the Red Horse walked slowly out of it, pacing steadily over the low hills which lay between Nandje’s tomb and his Herd. He had made this nightly journey since the burial, observing how the body he had carried at both easy walk and furious gallop was decaying and what tender care the shaman took over his rituals. Yet, each time he returned to the Herd, he felt at heart less satisfied and more restive. These emotions, he knew, came to him because his understanding was beginning to awake and not from sorrow at the untidy fate of Nandje, nor any fellow-feeling for the fine man he had been.

The horses stood in small constellations, group by group within the universe of the Herd. The stars were fading and dawn about to break. A skein of geese, pointing like an arrow to the far horizon, flew overhead and the Red Horse paused to watch them out of sight. They were flying into the wind and making heavy weather of it, yet the song of their wings was hopeful and eager: they were always moving on from riverhead to marsh, from forest lake to seashore, water their element as his was this grass-grown earth of the Plains. The wind pushed at his back and he moved off, breaking into a canter as he breasted the last hill and saw his mares and young stallions, his filly foals and colts all facing forward, all looking out for him. The Herd neighed a soft welcome, the sound passing from horse to mare, and he returned the greeting joyfully: this part of his life was whole and good. He turned his head toward the village where the Ima slept. The sun always rose beyond it. He waited patiently for its first, arising rays to touch the round roofs of the houses.

Nandje’s daughter crawled from her house. It was the only way to enter or leave it, through the low tunnel which was both doorway and defence. She was still in mourning for her father, deeply shocked and deeply grieving; but there were the everyday tasks to do, the chores which kept her headless family comfortable and the wolf, hunger, from the door. Milking was the first each day, a little thin, blue-tinted milk to take from each milch mare. She (as every Ima man and woman must) loved her horses and, equally, her wide, bleak birthplace in the Plains. Her name was Gry and her age, since time is lawless in Malthassa, was perhaps seventeen.

The cold wind blew in Gry’s face. She tasted the salt in it and covered her ears against the stories it brought from far away. Nothing could be done while the Salt Wind blew from the furthest corner of the Plains and passed over Garsting on its way to bring down the trees of the forest; and nothing could be done while they were all in mourning.

Her hair had begun to grow again and covered her scalp as the new spring grass does the ground, sparse and short. She knew how ugly she was and had been, shorn thus and stripped of every piece of her silver jewellery. That lay, with her hair and her happiness, in her father’s tomb while each new day began heavy and slow and continued unrelieved into night. She lifted her milking-pail and laid it across her shoulder, turned her back on the wind – that was where the Horse Herd would be, facing away from the salt-savour, heads low and ears flattened to diminish the rumours which – now – ears uncovered – she heard fly past her, the brittle voices of the zracne vile shrieking ‘Sorrow! Sorrow! Bitter death!’ It seemed to Gry that all of Malthassa, from marsh to ocean, from the unknown beyond the Plains to the end of the world at the back of the mountains, had died with her father. She trudged out across the first low hills, her bare feet shrinking from the chilly ground and the skin pail clammy against her neck. All the world was grey and dusky; of late, the birds, cowering in bush and grass, had forgotten their songs and did not take to the air on pliant wing; but the zracne vile, the spirits of the air, tumbled past in the wind, now head first, now blown backwards, hair and limbs awry.

None of the women, save Gry, could see spirits; sometimes her companions looked strangely at her, or whispered tales behind her back, for all that she was Nandje’s daughter. But today she had come alone and early to the milking, stealing out before anyone else in the village was awake.

Gry climbed the third hill. Something was keeping pace with her: she sensed its warmth and knew it was not a wolf or any beast to fear. A heath-jack perhaps or a deer strayed from the forest to graze. It moved closer and she saw its outline as the light increased, big, massy, equine. A thrush flew up and sang suddenly, tossing random, joyous notes on high in the instant she recognised the horse and her heavy heart, against all expectation, lifted. The Red Horse: it was he. Lately, over six or seven recent days, he had begun to come to her, stand only feet away and watch her from huge and sympathetic eyes. Once, he had nudged her with his moss-soft nose and shied away; once snatched the sweet grass she shyly offered him. He loomed, a dark bulk in the dawn, and she reached out, awed when her hand at last touched and rested on his smooth hide. He suffered her to walk with him. Then, as the sun rose higher, something marvellous: the Red Horse halted for a moment, turned his head to Gry and rested it against her chest. She, leaning forward, enclosed as much of the great face as she could reach with her free arm; and they walked on, horse and girl, into the midst of the Herd, where the mother-mares were waiting to be milked.

Gry drew a little milk, before the foals fed, from each mare’s teats. The white mare named Summer, a rarity in a herd of dun and russet Plains horses, and chief wife of the Red Horse, waited last. Gry stroked her and bent beneath her to milk. When her pail was full to the brim she drank a little of it herself, wiped her mouth on her hand, and set the pail upright on a level piece of ground. The Red Colt was feeding well, the long sticks of his legs splayed and his short tail rotating with pleasure. Gry smiled and heard the Red Horse snort his pleasure. He moved close again; she felt she should hold her breath or repeat one of the shaman’s lucky charms aloud. The great horse shivered, nervous as a cricket, and lowered his head still further as if he wanted to kneel before her and beg a favour. She found herself leaning against him, taking comfort from his bulk and warmth and, when he bent his near foreleg, placing her left foot there, above the knee and springing without thought but only instinct upward, turning in the air and settling on his back while she spoke the ritual phrase her father had always used.

‘Greeting, Horse. Permit me.’

Gry sat in her forbidden seat, elated and fearful. The reputation of the Horse was all ferocity, virility and fire. No one was able to ride him – except her father, Nandje, who had worshipped the Herd for itself and as a symbol of life, who had loved each individual horse as much as his children; who had died when he was swept from this same, broad back (so wide it pulled the muscles of her groin to straddle him.) The terrified Herd had trampled Nandje into the ground.

No one was allowed to ride the Red Horse; save the new Imandi when he, at last and at the end of the long days of mourning, was chosen. She remembered the trials Nandje had undergone, in the old days when she was a child, to catch and afterwards mount and master the Horse and she looked down on the mane and neck which swept upwards to his pointed, eager ears. In a moment he would bend that neck, throw up his hind feet in a mighty buck and dash her down; then she would see Nandje again, in the place beyond death. But all the Horse did was whinny softly and, shaking a presumptuous fly from his head, settle into his long, smooth stride. Gry breathed more easily and let herself sink into and become a part of the force and balance which made him what he was, the Master of the Herd. It was not as if she could not ride. Horses and their culture were her birthright. Her own mare, Juma, had lingered, heavily in foal, on the margin of the group of milch-horses; lately she had been lent the swift and stubborn Varan who belonged to her eldest brother, and she had many times ridden the lesser stallions and Summer too, before the getting of the Colt. But today there were no reins to be gathered up, none of the usual preparations and practices; just herself, Gry, and the Red Horse. She pulled her skirts into place and rested her hands comfortably on her thighs. How much more easy would she be in loin-cloth and twin aprons, bare-legged and booted like the men!

Her country, the great Plains of Malthassa, was before her and about her, turquoise in the morning light. She could see the blue flag of her people fluttering above Garsting, though the village itself was hidden behind a hill. Three other villages, Sama, Rudring and Efstow were visible, their underground houses grass-grown mounds very like the green hills of the Plains. She looked into the wind, which blew less strongly but was still laden with the bitter salt, and her gaze came to rest on the distant, grassy knoll which was her father’s last dwelling place and tomb. Outwardly there was little to distinguish it from the houses of the living.

Nandje’s burial-mound had been raised a half-morning’s journey from his village. Gry, although she was female and so excluded from funerals, executions and the daily rituals of the Shaman, which belonged to the men, knew that it was dangerous to let the dead stay close by the living, for they may talk to one another or appear in each other’s dreams. And she knew that there were strict rules and observances to be obeyed when any man of the Ima visited an ancestor in his house. The first of them was that no woman may enter there.

I am already guilty, sitting up here on the Imandi’s Horse – no, riding forward, letting him carry me toward the burial-mound, thought Gry. So there will be only a little more harm if, when we reach it, I get down and walk to the mound – just to see the doorway they must have carried my father through, and to stand there and remember him and say farewell. I am beginning to forget him already: I have thought only of myself and this pleasant morning since I milked the mares – and the milk will be quite safe where it is. The wind will cool it well.

‘Well!’ echoed the zracne vile, ‘Farewell!’ and the Red Horse, before she could change her mind or jump down, broke into a ground-eating canter, which carried her swiftly forward across the Plain.

He halted in a hollow below the burial-mound and let Gry slide from his back before lowering his head to graze the sweet, young grasses which the wind, become as gentle as a sleeper’s breathing, moved hardly at all. Gry went on tiptoe up the slope of the hollow and knelt outside the entrance to the tomb. Someone had walked there a little while before. The grass showed the prints of large, booted feet leading away and she remembered that the shaman had been living there for a long while, to tend her father’s body. There was no door. Doorposts and a lintel of the boulders which littered some parts of the Plains surrounded a dark opening. She peered into the darkness, but could see nothing within. Indeed, the darkness brought back all her sorrow: it was terrible to end in such a dismal place. She closed her eyes to hold back her tears.

‘Oh, kind and valorous Rider, wise Imandi,’ she began bravely, but could not stop the tears. ‘Oh, my father – why did you have to die? I could not even say goodbye because the men took you away and put you in there.’

He used to come home at sunset, she remembered, and hang the Horse’s bridle on its hook on the east side of the house. Then, after walking round the fireplace to the far side, would sit and wait for her to bring him water to wash in. ‘The sun is low,’ he always said, ‘I am glad to sit by our fire’ or, sometimes, ‘There is a wonderful smell coming from the pot, Gry – like the thyme your mother used in her cooking. Is it her recipe, my daughter?’

She could almost hear him, so intense were her memories – just behind her as he used to be when seated in the house and she dipping water from the bucket into the copper bowl. She looked round. Nandje stood, with a gentle smile on his face, close by the Red Horse. She knew at once that, though he looked so solidly real, he was without substance, a ghost which could not be touched and could not touch her. He, and all his clothing, looked grey as ashes. With him had come a familiar, long-loved smell, the burnt-sugar odour of his pipe tobacco which floated unseen about him.

‘Gry, my daughter,’ he said, ‘be calm. Do not give way to fear. Aza has released my soul from my body and I must begin my journey to the Palace of Shadows. There is nothing in the mound now but my discarded and useless body surrounded by the offerings of sorrow: that is all. Go in and look at it if you will, but remember me as I was in life – whether at home or abroad with the Herd. Remember me –’

‘Father –’

‘I cannot stay. Take care of the Horse. Remember me …’

Gry stared at the space where Nandje had been. The noise of the Red Horse grazing comforted her: he had behaved as though nothing was amiss so, when she had assured herself that he was content, she turned back to the mound and walked into its dark and cavernous interior. Soon, when her eyes were used to the dimness, she could see. Some light had followed her in, enough to show her the bier of woven willows and her father’s remains lying on it. She approached and looked down on them. What he had said was true: she had no need to fear. This racked and ruined body had nothing to do with Nandje. He had become a memory, and this ugly thing was the same as anything from which the soul has gone, a bird lying dead in winter, a heath-jack killed for the pot, meat which has once been a fleet horse. Gry fingered the offerings which lay in a circle round the body: her two plaits, her silver necklaces and bangles; the little vial of her brothers’ mingled blood, Garron’s best belt and Kiang’s finest dagger; the dishes, beakers, arrows, fish-hooks and snares her uncles and aunts had provided; the bag laid there for Nandje to carry these grave-goods to the Palace of Shadows.

Gry walked sunwise round the bier, bent and kissed the dead thing on what was left of its crushed forehead. Nandje’s weathered skin was taut and dry, punctured full of the holes from which the corpse-moths had crawled, after feeding on his flesh. His falchion and bow were in his withered hands, gripped more by exposed bone than by vanishing flesh; his hands had been calloused, Gry remembered, from the bowstring and roughened by the Plains wind and the cold. He had been dressed in his best, blue aprons, red boots and gilded belt; they was all shabby, drab and decaying. His two clay pipes and his tobacco pouch were in their places on his belt but – she glanced about, searching – not his dagger with its narrow blade of Pargur steel and bone hilt, and the copper sheath with the horse-head chape. She knew it so well. The dagger had been drawn to cut hide into ropes and sheets, to carve meat, slice apples, open hog nuts; even to stir honey into hot kumiz.

‘An Imandi, unlike lesser men with needy families, is always buried with his goods and weapons,’ Gry said to herself. ‘I know this, though I am a woman. Perhaps the knife was mislaid before the burial rite – but another would have been got. Perhaps a thief has crept in here! I shall ask Aza – except that I can’t know the dagger’s gone, or I would be a thief myself in Aza’s eyes. I’ll ask Garron, no – Aunt Jennet. Or look for it myself and bring it back –

‘But how will my father do without a knife to cut his shadow-meat?’

She shivered, though it was not cold underground. The death house had become much darker, for the light was fading. Then she saw the Red Horse in the doorway, head and shoulders filling the gap. She smiled and went to him.

‘You came for me,’ she said. ‘Or did you come to see what has become of your Rider?’

The Horse pushed his head against her and she stroked him. She thought she heard her father’s voice once more.

‘You are the Rider.’

She shook her head in dismissal and disbelief.

‘We must go, Horse,’ she said. ‘You to your Herd and I to the milk and my woman’s duties. Yet I shall spend this day as I have spent so many, wondering where it is my father has gone – oh, not his poor, broken body, not that, but himself, Nandje who rode you everywhere, who was my father and my mother too, since Lemani died.’

Aza, the Shaman of Garsting, crouched in his hollow. He, alone of the Ima, lived always above ground and knew which way the wind blew and what it told; saw sunrise succeed sunset and the sun crowd the moon from the sky. He had put away the death-blanket and the sharpened stick he had used to release Nandje’s soul from his outworn body. The blanket would be used again to cover Garron or Kiang, Battak or Oshac, whoever was chosen Imandi, when his time came; but the stick, that was a mark on the wayward calendar of Malthassan time, and Aza had a bundle of them. He was very old, yet seemed himself to have cheated age in his wrinkled brown skin and mane of white hair. He was old and jealous of the young. He could still run, true enough, but they could walk faster; he could sigh and remember his young manhood, but they were in possession of it, their blood red and their appetites fresh and keen. Nor did Aza feel any softening of his heart towards young women. He had forgotten his first wife, the one who died in childbirth; his second, who had fallen into the flooded River Nargil and his third, the pretty creature who had left him for a horseman. He had outlived his children and his grandchildren and was truly alone upon the earth, but for his talismans and the spirits.

The north wind passed over Aza in his hollow. The shaman kept five spirit-horses, long and fearsome creatures made of ash-poles, skulls, and hides and hair, and he looked up, seeing how the wind moved their skins and brought life to their dried tails and manes. The horses guarded him and there was one to face East and one to face West, one for the South and one for the North; and one to watch the sky. At night, or when he had gone into the breathless trance, Aza spoke with them and learned what they had seen; now they were silent, unless the rattling of their skins against their bones of ash wood was a kind of speech, or a lament for earlier and better days, when they had galloped, eaten the sweet grass and roamed the Plains at will.

Aza had a sixth horse which he had inherited from the old shaman, Voag, when he was called to his seat at Russet Cross. He kept it in a basket. Now, he rose and fetched the basket from where it lay upon a rolled-up prayer flag. Unpegging the lid, he lifted the separate pieces of this horse out of its basket and stable and began to arrange them in an intricate pattern on the ground. He wanted to weave a bridle out of the living grass and to do this, it was necessary to bring the power from the bones of the sixth horse and a hungry sprite from the earth.