Already Whole

You need to make love with life. Do everything with immense pleasure, take things easier. Everything that happens in my life ranges from "great" to "very great." I don't have a state of "hard, bad, no strength." And when I see that in others, I say: you yourself believed that you were feeling bad. And your brain gives up: "Yes, bad, I'm dying." And you start to sabotage events to return to that point in life where you felt meaning and dynamism.

And when do we feel dynamism? When we had no money, no partner, there was total loneliness. We ran around on dates, looked for earnings. Then you feel life, when everything is urgent and you're faster-faster-faster. You don't have time to suffer. But if you relax, you start to suffer.

It's hard to stay happy in stability, because you see everything that's happening. If you earn well, you have a lot of time for self-analysis. And these thoughts are sometimes harder than external actions. Very often, women themselves ruin an absolutely comfortable life or marriage, leave partners, leave jobs—because they can't cope with the pressure exerted on them by... stability. That very stability that many dream of.

In fact, enduring stability can be harder than coping with instability.

How to balance these two stories? How not to burn out completely, not to run like a hunted greyhound, but also not to drown in boring stability that makes you want to go crazy?

1. Learn to create your own state and mood.

2. Focus all your attention precisely on this state.

3. Constantly look for ways you will "make love with life."

Sexuality: A Foundation That Cannot Be Destroyed From Without

My psychologist friend and I discussed how female sexuality is formed. Some perceive it as revealing clothes, red lips, winged eyeliner—there are certain imposed images. But I have met incredibly sexual women in strict suits. Often—much more often.

Because a woman who dresses revealingly often does it for a man, to be a sex object. But real sexual energy comes from a woman who is confident in herself. Who "makes love with life." Who understands: "Everyone back off, I'm having such a great time! I'm living my best life." A proposal came and fell through? Doesn't matter. Asked on a date and it didn't work out? Doesn't matter. All of that is superfluous, because I have myself, and I am enough for myself.

This is where the foundation is. Sexuality is based on this: I am whole, I am fine, I can give myself the life I deserve. I don't need to look for anyone for that. Because expectation = disappointment. If you wait for a savior, a promotion, gifts—it will always be painful, it will destroy your energy.

So you got ready, put on makeup, arrived all radiant, and he: didn't call a taxi, was late, took you to a cheap cafe... and your energy is "wasted." If your sexuality is destroyed by external actions—that's not real energy. It's a fragile construct.

My state is very difficult to destroy. It is stable because of me, because I control and create this stability. I know that I will return to my apartment, lie in my bath, I have my man, my work, girlfriends, friends, interests, and hobbies. All of this I control and it depends on me.

The more areas of your life depend precisely on you, the easier it will be for you to maintain your state. The more real stability there will be in this life—even if externally it looks like complete instability (moving, changing jobs, countries). I am flexible, I can change, but my psyche and my state are stable.

Someone might criticize me: "Oh, you won't succeed." But I am responsible for my state. I must believe in me. Someone else can assess what I will succeed at and what I won't. And this reinforced concrete foundation helps me to manage, manipulate, and balance this energy however I want.

I don't need anything to understand whether I slept well or badly. I just need to wake up and tell myself that. The same with sexuality: I don't need anyone else's opinion to say whether I am sexual or beautiful. You must tell yourself that. You give yourself the most important evaluation. And it should always be positive.

Three Principles Worth "Stealing" From Men

Men know something about life; they often have a calmer and more settled existence. So there's something to learn.

1. **Prioritize your values and interests.** If a man wants to go to the gym, he goes, without asking anyone. But a woman says: "Please sit with the child." Prioritize your interests. Explain: "This is important to me." It's important to work, to go with girlfriends, to be alone. Many women dream of simply being alone for a couple of days. You need to voice it. Sometimes you are simply afraid to say what is vital for you.

2. **Love your body as it is.** As God made it—that's perfect. First love it, then it can "pull" you to an ideal figure. Stop nagging yourself. A man sees his belly, sees flaws, but he still loves his body. He will go to the gym to change something, but he adores his body. So there's no need to humiliate yourself. Love and value your body first and foremost—then it will serve you.

3. **Someone needs to serve you.** I haven't figured out who yet, but... If you have options, use them! :))

It's Never Too Late. As Long As You're Alive

Many think: "It's too late for me." Dreams, goals, ideas... It's never too late. As long as you're alive, you can change everything. It's never too late to start social media, change your style, dye your hair blue or green. It's never too late to start working on your states, change your diet, your job, move to another country.

We live, we face difficulties, everything breaks, collapses, changes. But if you feel a complete contradiction inside, that you are not on your path, not following the call of your heart and soul—you need to change everything. And that's normal.

You should wake up every day feeling that this life fills you. Our time is short. If you don't believe in reincarnation—study quantum physics, psychology, so that your brain starts to accept the facts. You live by societal programs designed to keep people in fear and prevent them from moving forward.

Wake up. Remember who you are. Remember that you are a soul. Wake up every day with a feeling of total gratitude for this experience. You cannot live this life in fear, with a constant feeling of "how do I just get through another day." You must be filled with every second, cherish every moment. Because this life is magnificent.

Choose to be happy—this is the main manifesto.

That's why I always say: choose to be happy. Just choose. Declare it as a manifesto to the universe: "Take everything that makes me unhappy out of my life. I want to be happy. Send me people, resources, knowledge that will make me happy." This will be enough to completely turn your life around.

Sometimes this path of "cleansing" looks like death. Like complete emptiness. When everything is taken from you: you've lost your job, friends, relationships that lasted many years. You have nothing. But your choice is at play here. If you have chosen to be happy, you need nothing else for that choice. Just wake up happy.

Prove your readiness to the world. I have always said openly: I love beautiful jewelry, great apartments, I love wealth, I love exquisite restaurants. I will not choose a poor man; I will choose a rich one. Because true wealth is a state of mind. A genuinely wealthy, accomplished man is magnificent. He sees a woman who needs help, and he will never say, "I'll feed her a salad and then screw her" or "I'll buy you a camera, but we'll go to my place for a threesome, you haven't given me that in a long time." Those are damaged men.

Your body remembers everything. And you will pay so dearly for such "handouts" later—with your health, with years. And believe me, this is not a scare tactic, but a warning. I know too many such stories. It is much cheaper and more beneficial to improve yourself, to mature. Every piece of knowledge you gain is a contribution to the treasury of your inner wealth. When you don't step on your own throat, don't betray yourself, act according to the call of your heart—that is what is valuable. And all these market, mercantile relationships—to hell with them. They are pathetic.

Real men—I call them "men from my planet"—are different. Perhaps this is my assumption, but I believe we are all from different planets, inherently different. And when you take a man not from your planet and try to convey your value to him—he cannot accept it. It's like a purebred dog trying to explain to a stray why discipline is necessary. She is drawn to her own kind, to her community. Therefore, never try to explain the choices of people who do not choose you or treat you badly. Just focus on yourself.