Coronavirus

Stavl Zosimov

Coronavirus

CHAPTER 1

Spring. 2020.

In the office of the company's DIRECTOR, DIRECTOR Zinoviev Sergey Ivanovich (55) is sitting, together with the MOTHER OF YAROSLAV, Elena Gennadievna Mudraya (38), in a strict suit.

DIRECTOR

Elena Gennadievna, how long have you been working with us as the chief economist?

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Five years?!

DIRECTOR

Five years… Quite a respectable period and not subject to reduction.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

May I ask, Sergey Ivanovich, but what is the purpose of this?

DIRECTOR

The order from above has come to reduce our office by 10%. You are not included in the reduction. However, we are behind the quarterly planned norms in terms of performance indicators, so you will have to spend even more man-hours for the same salary.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

(Surprised)

Strange, indeed… And this applies to everyone?

DIRECTOR

Nothing strange, just a formal procedure. Our debits and credits didn't match again for the last quarter. Our expenses exceed our gross income.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

I am well aware of that… It's my job, but if it weren't for your constant corporate events with clients, everything would be in order for us…

DIRECTOR

Are you trying to accuse me of this?

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

No… But I ask you to name the reason why I should be the one to pay for this?

DIRECTOR

Don't you know… I think it's obvious. You don't want to continue close relationship with me. As soon as you got your appointment five years ago, that's it, you started to drift away from me.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

But you must have forgotten that I have a husband, and you have a wife.

The DIRECTOR shrugs their shoulders.

DIRECTOR

My decision is final, and only you can change it yourself.

The mother looks at the DIRECTOR in astonishment.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

I believe when I was mistaken about you, you assured me that I was the only one, but it turns out you were saying the same thing to half of the HR and accounting department employees… You are a liar, and I resign.

The mother of Yaroslav stands up and walks towards the door.

DIRECTOR

I want to remind you, Elena Gennadievna, that our company paid for your last education, and according to the contract, you have to work for two more years.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

May you die, you blackmailer…

Inside the security post, the CHIEF OF SECURITY is seated, and in front of him stands FATHER OF YAROSLAV, Valeriy Semenovich Mudry (42).

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Listen, Valeriy Semenovich, you have been feeding me your excuses… You fell asleep on duty again, and they stole the wheels off the car.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Oh, come on, Petrovich, stop it. I took over the shift, and that car was already without wheels. Your son and I did the rounds together, and he reported each car to me.

The facility manager explodes emotionally and points at the logbook.

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Where is it written? Where in the logbook of the facility handover is this documented? Show me! Or do you think I'm just blindly guessing?

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Well… it used to be based on trust before… We and the previous shifts, in general, didn't make notes… Look, on the 17th line, there's a cracked window on the jeep?! It's been cracked for ages, do we need to report it constantly? Especially since your son himself said that the owner took off the wheels personally…

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Why? Are you stupid? Or do you think I'm stupid?

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Not at all, Ignatiy Petrovich…

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Well, I'm tired of your constant screw-ups… You're fired, and your settlement will cover the missing wheels of this Lamborghini.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Petrovich, what are you doing? I have a family?!

The chief stands up from the chair.

CHIEF OF SECURITY

I've said my piece, get the hell out of here before they wheel you out on a stretcher…

The FATHER OF YAROSLAV loses his temper and punches the facility manager in the face with all his might. He stumbles back and topples over his chair with a crash. Yaroslav grabs the daily earnings from the table and walks away from the security post. He looks back for a moment.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

By the way, your Musya has a great grip with her fangs.

CHAPTER 2

The bell rings, and all the students come out of their classrooms into the corridor. VASILIY (13) catches up to YAROSLAV (13) and hangs on his neck from behind. YAROSLAV reacts aggressively. VASILIY laughs and runs away from him. Walking past is the timid classmate GENA, nicknamed Cabbage (13).

VASILIY

Oops! Here comes Kapusta… Giving, Yarik… it… I'll be live streaming on the internet, and you hype it up?!

YAROSLAV

Sorry, Vaska, this dude Bazаrov, he's always bombarding me in life…

VASILIY

We'll get a lot of likes now, we can go viral… This… all our Sisyaos will be there…

VASILIY takes out his smartphone and signals to YAROSLAV. YAROSLAV smacks GENA on the butt.

YAROSLAV

Go-o-o-al!!!

GENA can't take it anymore and pushes YAROSLAV away, then continues walking.

GENA

Are you insane?

YAROSLAV

Oh, Cabbage can speak…

VASILIY

We need to show this to the biology teacher, they'll give us a Nobel Prize…

YAROSLAV gives GENA another smack on the butt. GENA jumps back and then smacks YAROSLAV from behind. YAROSLAV stops.

VASILIY(CONTINUED)

No way?!

YAROSLAV

Who are you raising hooves at, dude?

YAROSLAV punches GENA in the eye and trips him. GENA falls to the ground and curls up in a ball. YAROSLAV starts kicking him with cruelty. A crowd of students quickly gathers around with smartphones, filming YAROSLAV kicking GENA. Teachers swiftly approach and try to break through into the center of the circle. The crowd does not let them through.

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

Look at what they're doing?

TEACHER

Let me pass through, please…

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER

I will go through, Tamara Petrovna…

The PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER pushes his way into the center of the event and swiftly drags YAROSLAV away from GENA. He puts GENA on his feet. Everyone disperses. The TEACHER leads GENA away.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER (CONTINUED)

(To VASILIY)

Turn off the camera…

(To YAROSLAV)

What are you doing, you monster? Maybe you want to try that with me? Or are you only picking on the weak?

YAROSLAV

What, did you catch the raslabon, the pedophile Rotten? Did you remove your hands?! I'll text my daddy, he'll be right there, he'll tear your ass right away…

VASILIY

He'll tear, he'll tear, Kirill Stepanych. He used to be a special forces soldier, certified nut job…

The PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER releases YAROSLAV. The DEPUTY HEADMASTER glares sternly at him.

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

So, Yaroslav Mudry… I won't tolerate hazing in my school. Tomorrow, with your parents, in the DIRECTOR's office. The question of your expulsion from the school will be raised…

YAROSLAV

They can't make it tomorrow…

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

That's because of what specific reason?

YAROSLAV

Are you nuts, dimwit? Troll someone else… They are working to pay you money for all sorts of crap, like your dacha....

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER

(Furiously)

Are you talking to the DEPUTY HEADMASTER?

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

They don't pay me directly, they pay the school… And as for their release?! No problem, we can resolve that… I'll call their management to release them from work with pay. Additionally, I'll inform them in writing that a juvenile inspector will also be present… and you, Kirill Stepanovich, go to class. The bell has already rung…

VASILIY

Gotcha…

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

And you, Poroshenko, better show up too, but without your parents…

VASILIY

For what reason do I have to be there?

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

For the company, and for your online broadcasts that undermine the authority of our school… For today, I release you, Mudry, from classes, and only after the decision of the parent-teacher association will you be allowed back in.

VASILIY

I can also go?

DEPUTY HEADMASTER

Yes, but only to class… And the faster, the better for you…

The Father of Yaroslav enters the apartment. The Mother of Yaroslav approaches him from the kitchen. She has a questioning look. The father undresses slowly and looks at her with a guilty conscience.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

That bastard still fired me after all…

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

And how are we going to live going forward? I also filed a complaint to the BOARD OF DIRECTORS…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER Irina Panteleimonova (65) comes out into the hallway.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Well, for now, no one is taking away my pension… So, we'll tighten our belts and live somehow… In a vegetarian way…

YAROSLAV is standing among a small group of people. The tram arrives and opens its doors. YAROSLAV is the first to approach the door. Passengers exit the tram. YAROSLAV pushes his way into the cabin without waiting.

EXITING PASSENGER

Where are you rushing? Let the passengers exit first.

YAROSLAV

Go to hell…

ENTERING PASSENGER

We've completely lost our shame…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER Irina and her neighbor Elizaveta Fominichna (70) are sitting in the kitchen drinking tea.

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

Iraida Panteleimonovna, you've become rare visitor, my friend?!

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Oh, Elizaveta Fominichna, joints ache, and the heart acts up. Today they measured the blood pressure: two hundred over one twenty, so we had to call an ambulance to lower the pressure…

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

And I've been feeling quite unwell myself lately. Migraines have completely taken over… Make some kreplach, Ira, with poppy seeds and yolks…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Thank you, I'll give it a try… Why did I come, you, as I remember, Fominichna, subscribed to the journal 'Science and Religion…

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

I still subscribe to it now, but don't really read it. Just don't have the time. My son gave me a new laptop and set up the internet, now I'm glued to it…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

You've become quite fancy, Lizzie, all tech-savvy… you give me the old issues, I want to look up a particular article…

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

Take them all if you want… They are all tied up in bundles…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

I'll send Yaroslav to you, and you can give him the pit…

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

But at your place, I mean the dormitory, let them look it up on Google. It will give you the article you need…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Oh, is that so?

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

Of course… Everything is available at the dormitory… My son even found a job. It's called remote work, he sits at home in front of the computer all day and earns… And not bad, I must say…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

And mine just can't seem to make ends meet… Tonight, they both stayed late at work.

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

In the Biblical prophecy of the end of the world by John the Evangelist, before the second coming, in chapter 6, verse 8, it is said: "I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the name of him who sat on it was Death, and Hades followed with him. And power was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword, with hunger, with death, and by the beasts of the earth." And at the end of the chapter: "For the great day of His wrath has come, and who is able to stand?

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Oh, Fominichna, you're right… Every generation predicts it's the end of the world, Armageddon, and yet life goes on.

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

You, just like you were a communist, Irina Panteleimonovna, have remained the same. And here I am, reading one or two chapters every night before bed and getting scared… Everything seems to be unfolding just as it's written. For example, in the Fourth Book of Kings, chapter 3, verses 1 to 27: The Alliance of the Kings – Joram of Israel, Jehoshaphat of Judah, and the king of Edom against the Moabites, that is, the Russians… The whole world wants to destroy our country… Isn't that right?

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

It's all nonsense, they've twisted the Bible to squeeze more money out of the people… Look, they're even opening Orthodox restaurants. Just the word 'restaurant' itself speaks of debauchery…

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

It's their sin, so the apocalypse will come, and only the chosen ones will remain… I sense, Irina, a rebellion is coming soon, and at first everyone will be driven into their homes, like during Stalin's time. And everyone will sit in fear…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Oh, Fominichna, stop it. Even in the USSR, the Iron Curtain was only on the outside… You could travel anywhere within the country. And when you arrived, they would provide you with housing and a job. Not like now …

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

Oh, that's something… I had a dream tonight, my late Peter was sitting there, and you were next to him. I sat down with you, and he took your hand, and you both walked away.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Come on, Yelizaveta… I only knew your Peter from a photograph… We met after his death?!

ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA

I was talking about the same thing…

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

You're scaring me, Yelizaveta Fominichna, oh you're scaring me so much…

CHAPTER 3

Yaroslav is sitting in a wheelchair. A PASSENGER GRANDMOTHER with a cane approaches. Yaroslav turns his head away and pretends to be asleep.

PASSENGER WOMAN

(to YAROSLAV)

Young man, please give your seat to the grandmother…

PASSENGER MAN

Oh, he pretended to be asleep…

PASSENGER MAN nudges YAROSLAV in the shoulder.

PASSENGER MAN(CONTINUED)

Hey, get up… Stop pretending. I just saw you looking out the window.

PASSENGER GRANDMOTHER

Oh, don't bother. I'll stand, I don't have much longer to go…

PASSENGER WOMAN

How come?! He has no conscience.

Yaroslav opens his eyes.

YAROSLAV

Stop pushing, man…

PASSENGER MAN

He gave up his seat for the old lady, you're sitting in the wheelchair…

YAROSLAV

With what joy, I paid for this seat.

The man grabs him by the collar and tries to remove him from the seat.

YAROSLAV(CONTINUED)

(hysterically)

Hey, man, hands off, you pedophile… Help!! The pedophile stops!!

PASSENGER MAN

Why are you screaming? Who is touching you? How am I a pedophile to you?

YAROSLAV

And you will explain that to the cops… Everyone here saw you bothering me…

PASSENGER GRANDMOTHER

Let him go, don't touch him.

PASSENGER WOMAN

Such rude generation has emerged…

YAROSLAV

Generation Z…

Everyone moves away from YAROSLAV. YAROSLAV looks out the window contentedly.

The father sits in an armchair in the living room, looking for a job in the local newspaper ads. YAROSLAV enters the living room from school.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

(tenderly)

Well, son, how was school and don't forget to take out the trash, it seems?

YAROSLAV

(mockingly)

The prosecutor is handling things, and now we have a social worker at school. As a father, you can't make me, as your son, take out the trash, go to the store, or do other chores anymore.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

What are you talking about? And what will happen to me from your social worker for this?

YAROSLAV

They will take away your parental rights.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Well, then go and pack your things.

YAROSLAV

Why is that?

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

(With irony)

Well, if your social worker and mother take away my parental rights for this, then they will take you to the orphanage, and we won't be kicked out of the apartment. And in the orphanage, they will turn you from a boy into a girl… Cool?

YAROSLAV looks shocked at his father, wordlessly grabs the full trash bucket, and hastily runs into the hallway. The sound of the front door slamming shut is heard.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV(CONTINUED)

Exactly, clever one…

In the kitchen, grandmother and father are sitting at the table. Mother is serving food.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

YAROSLAV, come to breakfast.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Why shout, go and call him.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

He's still sleeping, young one.

The mother sits down at the table.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Well, Valer, did you find anything?

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Yes, it's all not right. Everywhere there are abbreviations or they require a resume with contacts from previous jobs… and mine are terrible.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

We need to think of something. Clearly, we won't even have enough for a decent living.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

And what about my pension? After all, it's a stable, steady income nonetheless.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Yes, now half of the country lives this way, on their parents' pensions.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

I don't want to live like that. YAROSLAV has been expelled from a public school, now we have to pay for his education.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Why bother? He's learned to read and write, that's enough. He'll become a security guard, just like me?!

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Are you out of your mind? Security guards are the ones who were kicked out of regular jobs. Second-rate people. And my son will not start his adult life that way.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Maybe YAROSLAV will decide for himself where he wants to go, to university or straight to the factory?!

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Mom, please don't impose your old-fashioned Soviet principles on Yarik. Nowadays, it's prestigious for kids to study at a lyceum, not wandering in the streets. Look, in our office, only my son goes to a mediocre school.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

So, what do you want from me?

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

For you to energetically seek a decent job as passionately as you eat. And you eat enough for two.

Father throws down the cutlery and leaves the kitchen. Yaroslav approaches and looks sympathetically at his mother and grandmother. The grandmother immediately smiles at her grandson.

YAROSLAV

What's all the noise about if there's no fight?

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Hello, grandson… Have you washed up? Sit down for breakfast.

Yaroslav sits down at the table. His mother gets up and serves him food.

YAROSLAV

I heard we're short on cash?

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Eat up, it's none of your concern.

Yaroslav is sitting at the computer, clicking on the double-sided print and hitting 'Print.' The printer starts working and colorful sheets with various banknotes of different denominations come out. His father enters the room.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Son, what's the matter with me?! What are you printing? Money? Are you out of your mind?

The father pushes the 'STOP' button and gives his son a slap on the back of his head. Upon hearing the scream, the mother and grandmother come running.

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

What happened?

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Here, take a look. Were you all screaming this morning about not having enough money? Yarik solved the problem. Boom, and printed a couple of million.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Well, he's still a kid. It's good that he cares about his family.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Sure? Is he just playing around? And then he'll go shopping at the store?! Do you know that the cops don't give a damn whether he's playing or not?! Article 186, 5 to 8 years in prison and a fine of 1,000,000 rubles. How about that?

YAROSLAV

Why are you freaking out like a dinosaur? Do you think I'm a noob? You can exchange it at the market with the black marketeers. Even the grandma's with sunflower seeds can do it.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

What? Just shut up, you're a minor and it's like water off a duck's back. Your mother and I will take care of the consequences…

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

Don't shout at the son… Come to me, Yaroslav.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

Valera, please forgive him, he didn't mean any harm. We just need to explain that you can't earn money this way. It's a crime and you can get punished for it.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Alright, I'm taking the cord from the printer, and if something like this happens again, I'll take the computer cord too…

The father takes the power cord from the printer and leaves the room.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Businessman, damn it....

The whole family – father, mother, and grandmother – are sitting in the living room watching TV. Yaroslav is sitting in the living room playing computer games on his smartphone.

TV ANNOUNCER

Due to the increasing number of citizens contracting the Coronavirus, the government has decided to declare a self-isolation regime for all layers of the population. It is necessary to adhere to the following measures: – Cancellation of mass events. – Closure of parks, squares, public places. – Suspension of the operation of restaurants, cinemas, sports clubs, shopping centers. – Transition of schools and universities to distance learning. – Operation of kindergartens in standby groups. Parents must provide a certificate that they continue to go to work. – Prohibition of entry to the country for foreigners and exit. – Mandatory 14-day quarantine for citizens returning home from another country or region. – Introduction of a mask regime and social distancing… The elderly and the sick with chronic conditions fall into a special risk group.

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Are they crazy at all? How to search for a job now and what kind?

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

There was no need to mess it up.

YAROSLAV

This means they do not have the right to expel me from school during quarantine?!

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

Can you figure it out.

YAROSLAV’S GRANDMOTHER

The main thing is to avoid war… We haven't gathered together in a long time, and now…

MOTHER OF YAROSLAV

(interrupting)

And now we're going to devour each other. We actually avoided socializing together. Every conversation turned into a quarrel, and now, for days on end…

FATHER OF YAROSLAV

It will all be okay, Len. Maybe we argued with each other because we didn't see each other enough?!

Vasiliy is sitting at the computer and watching a video of one BLOGGER in a police uniform addressing the camera.

BLOGGER

Hello, friends, and here I am again, BLOGGER Zet. And I'm in a police officer's uniform. Why? You'll see at the end… Have you all heard about the authorities introducing a regime of self-isolation?! More accurately, they've herded us all like cattle back to our homes. And this prison-like quarantine has been going on for almost two months now. It's a violation of our constitutional rights to freedom of movement. And I suggest participating in a mass rally called ANTI-QUARANTINE, with the slogan: Give us the freedom of movement and gatherings. We are not cattle!!! And remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch, it's all a trap, so all those who come to the rally can expect prizes galore… You might ask, how much? I'll tell you, enough to party and have some fun… So, everyone to the rally!.. That word, "rally," sounds so scary. Party. If you don't go to this party, you're a scaredy-cat. And this party is the mother of all parties! And don't forget to like and subscribe below the video to stay informed about everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen… and this is to get you warmed up before the party in the square.