Полная версия
Coronavirus
Stavl Zosimov
Coronavirus
CHAPTER 1
Spring. 2020.
In the office of the director of the company, the director himself, Sergey Ivanovich Zinoviev (55), and Yaroslav's mother, Elena Gennadievna Mudraya (38), in a strict suit.
DIRECTOR
Elena Gennadievna, how long have you been working as our chief economist?
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Five years?!
DIRECTOR
Five years… It's a decent length of time, and it doesn't fall under the reduction.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
I'll dare to ask, Sergey Ivanovich, but why are you doing this?
DIRECTOR
We've been given a directive from above to reduce our office by 10%. You're not being laid off. But we're falling behind on our quarterly targets, so you'll have to work even more hours for the same salary.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
(surprised)
It's strange, of course… And this applies to everyone?
DIRECTOR
Nothing strange, just a simple formality. Our debit and credit again did not match for the last quarter. Our expenses exceed gross income.
MOTHER OF YAROSLAV
I know this very well… This is my job, but if it were not for your constant corporate parties with clients, then we would have everything
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
No… But I ask to name the reason why I should pay for it?
DIRECTOR
And you don't know… In my opinion, everything is obvious. You don't want to continue a close relationship with me. As soon as I received the appointment five years ago and all, began to distance itself from me.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
But you probably forgot that I have a husband, and you have a wife.
The director shrugs.
DIRECTOR
My decision is final and only you can change it.
Mother looks at the director in a daze.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
In my opinion, when I was mistaken about you, you assured me that I was the only one, and it turned out that you told the same thing to half of the HR and accounting staff… You are a cable and I am quitting.
Yaroslav's mother gets up and goes to the door.
DIRECTOR
I want to remind you, Elena Gennadievna, that our company paid for your last education, and according to the contract, you have to work for two more years.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
May you die, you blackmailer…
Inside the post, the head of security is sitting and in front of him is Yaroslav's father, Valery Semenovich the Wise (42).
HEAD OF SECURITY
Listen, Valery Semenovich, you already for dolbalas me with your excuses … You again slept on the post and from the gelding pulled the wheels.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Come on, Petrovich, to drive. I took over the post, and already this tochila was without wheels. Your son and I went on a tour together, and he handed over each car to me.
The head of the facility explodes emotionally and points to the log.
HEAD OF SECURITY
Where is this recorded? Where in the log of acceptance and surrender of the facility – is it there? Where, show me? Or do you think I'm balls fucking?
Father of Yaroslav
Well… somehow everything was on trust before… We didn't record the previous shifts either… Look, the jeep has a cracked window in the 17th spot! It's been cracked for years, so why keep pointing it out? Especially since your son said the owner took the wheel off himself…
CHIEF OF SECURITY
Why? Are you a fool? Or do you think I'm a fool?
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
No, Ignatiy Petrovich…
CHIEF OF SECURITY
All right, I'm tired of your constant mistakes… You're fired, and your salary will cover the missing wheels of this Lamborghini.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Petrovich, what's the matter? I have a family, don't I?
The boss gets up from his chair.
CHIEF OF SECURITY
I've said everything, get the fuck out of here before you're carried out on a stretcher…
Yaroslav's father can't take it anymore and punches the facility manager in the face with all his might. The manager falls back and crashes into his chair. Yaroslav takes the day's earnings from the table and leaves the booth. He turns around for a moment.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
By the way, your Mousya, takes a great bite.
The bell rings and all the students go from the classrooms to the corridor. Vasilis(13) catches up with YAROSLAV(13) and hangs on his neck from behind. Yaroslav reacts aggressively. Vasilis laughs and runs away from him. A cowardly classmate Gena, nicknamed Cabbage(13), passes by.
VASILIS
OH?! Cabbage is coming… Give it to me, Yarik… it's… I'll stream it on the internet, and you'll hype it up?!
YAROSLAV
There's no bazaar, Vasya, he's been bombing me all my life, this guy…
VASILY
Let's get some lois, we can rip it up… It's… all the Sisyos will be ours…
Vasily takes out his smartphone and signals to Yaroslav. Yaroslav kicks Gena in the ass.
YAROSLAV
Goal!!!
Gena can't stand it and pushes Yaroslav away, then continues on.
GENA
Are you crazy?
YAROSLAV
Oh, Cabbage can talk…
VASILY
We need to prove it to the biology teacher, and we'll get a Nobel prize…
Yaroslav kicks Gena's ass again. Gena jumps back and kicks Yaroslav in the face. Yaroslav stops.
VASILY (continuing)
What the hell is this?
YAROSLAV
Who do you think you're picking on, Pinch?
Yaroslav punches Gena in the eye and performs a kick. Gena falls to the floor and curls up into a ball. Yaroslav begins to kick him with cruelty. Immediately, a crowd of students with smartphones gather around, and everyone is filming Yaroslav kicking Gena. The teachers quickly approach and try to get into the center of the circle. The crowd does not let them in.
THE HEAD TEACHER
Look at what they're doing!
THE TEACHER
Let me pass…
THE PE PEACEMAKER
I'll pass, Tamara Petrovna…
The PE teacher makes his way to the center of the event and pulls Yaroslav away from Gena. He puts Gena back on his feet. Everyone disperses. The teacher takes Gena away.
PE TEACHER (continuing)
(to Vasilisa)
Put the camera away…
(to Yaroslav)
What are you doing, you monster. Why don't you try me? Or do you only hit the weak?
YAROSLAV
What, did you get a break, pedophile Vsyaty? Hands off! I'm gonna text my dad, he'll be here in a minute, he'll tear your ass apart…
VASILY
He'll tear it apart, Kirill Stepanych. He's a former special forces soldier, he's shell-shocked…
The gym teacher lets go of Yaroslav. The headmaster looks at him sternly.
So, Yaroslav the Wise… I won't tolerate grandfathering in my school. Tomorrow, I'll bring your parents to the principal's office. The issue of your expulsion from school will be raised…
YAROSLAV
But they can't come tomorrow…
PROFESSOR
Why is that?
YAROSLAV
Have you been sniffing bribes, Babetsl? Troll someone else… They work to pay you money for all sorts of things, like your dacha…
PHYSICAL TRAINING TEACHER
(furious)
Are you talking to the deputy principal?
DEPUTY PRINCIPAL
The money is not given to me, but to the school… And as for their release?! It's nothing, it's solvable… I'll call their management to release them from work without pay. And I'll also inform them in writing that a juvenile inspector will be present… And you, Kirill Stepanovich, go to class. The bell has already rung…
VASILY
Wow, I'm in trouble…
HEADMASTER
And you, Poroshenko, will also appear, but without your parents…
VASILY
What about me?
HEADMASTER
For your company, and for your broadcasts on the Internet, which undermine the authority of our school… For today, I'm releasing you, Wise, from classes, and I will allow you only after the decision of the parental pedagogical council.
VASILY
Can I go too?
THE HEAD TEACHER
Yes, but only for a lesson… And the sooner, the better for you…
Yaroslav's father enters the apartment. Yaroslav's mother approaches him from the kitchen. She has a questioning look. The father undresses slowly and looks at her with remorse.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
That bastard fired me after all…
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
And how will we live from now on? I've also submitted an application to the board of directors…
Yaroslav's grandmother, Iraida Panteleimonova (65), enters the corridor.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
Well, no one is taking my pension yet… So let's tighten our belts and make do somehow… Vegetarian-style…
CHAPTER 2
Yaroslav is standing among a small number of people. A tram approaches and opens the doors. Yaroslav is the first to approach the door. Passengers are getting out of the doors. Yaroslav is breaking into the cabin without giving way.
PASSENGER EXITING
Where are you breaking in? Let the passengers get out first.
YAROSLAV
Fuck you…
PASSENGER ENTERING
You've lost all shame…
In the kitchen, Grandmother Yaroslava Iraida and her neighbor Elizaveta Fominichna (70) are drinking tea.
ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA
Iraida Panteleimonovna, you don't come to see me very often, my friend.
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
Oh, Elizaveta Fominichna, my joints are hurting, and my heart is giving me trouble. Yesterday, they measured my blood pressure, and it was 200/120. I had to call an ambulance to lower my blood pressure.
Yaroslav is standing among a small number of people. A tram approaches and opens the doors. Yaroslav is the first to approach the door. Passengers are getting out of the doors. Yaroslav is breaking into the cabin without giving way.
PASSENGER EXITING
Where are you breaking in? Let the passengers get out first.
YAROSLAV
Fuck you…
PASSENGER ENTERING
You've lost all shame…
In the kitchen, Grandmother Yaroslava Iraida and her neighbor Elizaveta Fominichna (70) are drinking tea.
ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA
Iraida Panteleimonovna, you don't come to see me very often, my friend.
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
Oh, Elizaveta Fominichna, my joints are hurting, and my heart is giving me trouble. Yesterday, they measured my blood pressure, and it was 200/120. I had to call an ambulance to lower my blood pressure.
ELIZAVETA FAMINICHNA
But your, that is, boarding school, let them ask in gugile. And he will give you the right article…
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
And what, so it is possible?
ELIZAVETA FAMINICHNA
Of course… In boarding school, everything is… My son even found a job. Called, on the remote, sitting at home for days on the computer and earns… And not bad, I tell you…
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
And mine still can't make ends meet… Here's the both of them from work.
ELIZAVETA FAMINICHNA
In the Bible's prophecy of the end of the world by John the Evangelist, before the second coming, CHAPTER 6, verse 8, it says: And I looked, and behold, a pale horse, and he that sat on him had the name "Death"; and Hell followed with him; and power was given to him over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. And at the end of the chapter: For the great day of His wrath is come, and who can stand?
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
Come on, Fominichna… Every generation says the same thing: the end of the world, Armageddon, but life goes on.
ELIZABETH FAMINICHNA
You were a communist, Iraida Pantelemonovna, and you still are. But every night I read a chapter or two before going to bed and I'm horrified… That's what's happening now. For example, in the fourth book of Kings, in chapter 3, verses 1 to 27: The allied war of the Kings – Joram of Israel, Jehoshaphat of Judah, and the King of Edom against the Moabites, that is. Russians… The whole world wants to destroy our country… Isn't that right?
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
It's all a lie, they wrote the Bible to get more money from the people… They're already opening Orthodox restaurants. The very word "restaurant" is a symbol of fornication…
ELIZABETTA FAMINICHNA
It's their sin, so the apocalypse will happen, and only the chosen ones will remain… I feel, Iraida, that a rebellion is coming, and first they'll lock everyone in their homes, just like under Stalin. Everyone will be afraid…
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
Come on, Fominichna. Even in the USSR, the Iron Curtain was only on the outside… and you could go wherever you wanted in the country. And when you arrived, they would provide you with housing and a job. It's not like now…
ELIZAVETA FOMINICHNA
That's true… I had a dream last night, and my late husband, Peter, was sitting next to you. I sit down with you, and he takes your hands, and you leave.
GRANDMOTHER YAROSLAVA
Come on, Elizaveta… I only knew your Peter by his photo… We met after he died?!
ELIZAVETA FAMINICHNA
I'm thinking the same thing…
БАБУШКА ЯРОСЛАВА
Пугаешь ты меня, Елизавета Фоминична, ой как пугаешь…
Yaroslav is sitting in a wheelchair. A passenger, an old lady with a cane, approaches. Yaroslav turns his head and pretends to be asleep.
PASSENGER WOMAN
(to Yaroslav)
Young man, make room for the old lady…
PASSENGER MAN
Oh, he's pretending to be asleep…
The passenger man pushes Yaroslav's shoulder.
PASSENGER MAN(continuing)
Hey, get up… Stop pretending. I was just looking out the window.
PASSENGER GRANDMOTHER
Oh, don't wake me up. I'll just stand here, it won't take long…
PASSENGER WOMAN
How can this be?! He has no conscience.
Yaroslav opens his eyes.
YAROSLAV
Stop pushing me, uncle…
PASSENGER MAN
I gave up my seat for you, you're sitting in a wheelchair…
YAROSLAV
Why, I paid for this seat.
The man takes him by the collar and tries to remove him from the seat.
YAROSLAV(continuing)
(hysterically)
Oh, old man, get your hooves off, you pedophile… Help!! The pedophile is getting off!!
PASSENGER MAN
What are you yelling about, who's touching you? What kind of pedophile am I?
YAROSLAV
You'll have to explain that to the cops…
Everyone saw you hitting on me…
PASSENGER GRANDMOTHER
Let him go, don't touch him.
PASSENGER WOMAN
What a rude generation we have…
YAROSLAV
Generation Z…
Everyone is leaving Yaroslav behind. Yaroslav happily looks out the window.
The father is sitting on a chair in the hall and looking for a job in the local newspaper. Yaroslav comes into the hall from school.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
(gently)
Well, son, how are things at school and take out the trash, I guess?
YAROSLAV
(sarcastically)
Things are going well with the prosecutor, and now we have a social worker at school, so you can't send me, your son, to take out the trash, go to the store, or do any other work.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
What are you talking about? And what will your social worker do to me for this?
YAROSLAV
They'll take away my parental rights.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Well, then go and pack your things.
YAROSLAV
Why is that?
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
(with irony)
Well, if your social worker takes away my mother's parental rights for this, then you will be taken to an orphanage, and not us will be kicked out of the apartment. And in the orphanage you will be turned from a boy into a girl… Cool?
Yaroslav looks at his father in a daze, without a joke, takes a trash full bucket and runs into the corridor. The sound of the front door.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER(continuing)
That's right, smarty-pants…
CHAPTER 3
In the kitchen, grandmother and father are sitting at the table. Mother pours food.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Yaroslav, come have breakfast.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Why shout, go and call.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
Young, still sleeping.
Mother sits down at the table.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Well, Valery, did you find anything?
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
It's all wrong. Everywhere there are cuts or they require a resume with contacts from previous jobs… and they are shitty.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
We need to think of something. We clearly won't have enough even for a normal existence.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
And my pension? The floor, after all, is a constant stable income.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Yes, half the country lives like this, on their parents' pensions.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
I don't want to live like this. Yaroslav was expelled from a public school, and now we have to pay for his education as well.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Why? He's learned to write and read, and now he's going to be a security guard like me?!
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Are you out of your mind? In the security go those who were kicked out of normal jobs. Second-class, and my son will not start his adult life this way.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
So maybe Yaroslav himself will decide where to go or straight to the factory?!
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Mom, just don't instill Yarik with your Soviet principles. Nowadays, it's prestigious for a child to study at a lyceum instead of hanging out in alleyways. In our office, only my son attends a crappy school.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
So what do you want from me?
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
I want you to search for a decent job as energetically as you eat. And you eat for two.
The father throws down his cutlery and leaves the kitchen. Yaroslav comes in and looks at his mother and grandmother with a pitiful expression. His grandmother immediately smiles at him.
YAROSLAV
What's all the noise and no fighting?
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
Hello, grandson… Have you washed up? Sit down and have some breakfast.
Yaroslav sits down at the table. His mother gets up and serves him some food.
YAROSLAV
I heard there's a shortage of money.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Go ahead, it's none of your business.
Yaroslav is sitting at the computer and presses on the two-sided printing and clicks on the print. The printer starts working and out of it come colored sheets with several banknotes of different denominations. Father comes into Yaroslav's room.
Father of Yaroslav
Son, what I thought?! And what are you printing? Money? Are you a fool or what?
Father presses the "STOP" button and gives his son a slap on the back of the head. Yaroslav's mother and grandmother run over to the cry.
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
What happened?
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Here, look at this. They were yelling in the morning that there wasn't enough money? Yarik solved the problem. Hop and printed a couple of million.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
Well, he's still a child. It's good that he cares about his family.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Yes? Playing? And then go to the store to buy?!
And you know that the cops don't give a fuck if he's playing or not?! Article 186, from 5 to 8 years of imprisonment and a fine – 1,000,000 rubles. How is it?
YAROSLAV
Yes, what are you buzing like a dinosaur. I'm what, in your opinion, a noob? You can exchange them at the black market. Or at the baker's.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Che? You shut up in general, you are a minor and from you, as with a goose water. And to pay for us with mother…
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
Yes do not shout at your son… Come to me, Yaroslav.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
Valera, well, forgive Iago, he is not with evil. Just need to explain that this way money will not earn. Sho is a crime and for this punish.
Father Yaroslav
All, I take the cord from the printer, and if something like this, then and the cord from the computer will take…
Father takes the network cord from the printer and leaves the room.
Father Yaroslav
Businessman, your mother…
The whole family: father, mother and grandmother sitting in the hall and watching TV. Yaroslav is sitting in the hall and playing computer games on his smartphone.
DICTOR TV
Due to the increasing number of Coronavirus cases, the government has decided to impose a self-isolation regime on all segments of the population. In addition, the following measures must be taken: Cancellation of mass events. Closure of parks, squares, and public places. Suspension of restaurants, cinemas, sports clubs, and shopping malls. Transition of schools and universities to distance learning. Operation of kindergartens in the mode of duty groups. Parents must show a certificate stating that they continue to go to work. Prohibition of foreigners entering and leaving the country. Mandatory 14-day quarantine for citizens returning home from another country or region. Introduction of a mask regime and social distancing… Pensioners and patients with chronic diseases are at particular risk.
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
Are they crazy? How am I supposed to find a job now?
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
You shouldn't have wasted it.
YAROSLAV
So they can't expel me from school during the quarantine period?!
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
You get it.
YAROSLAV'S GRANDMOTHER
The main thing is that there's no war… It's been a long time since we've been together, and now…
YAROSLAV'S MOTHER
(interrupting)
And now we're going to eat each other. We've been avoiding each other. Every conversation ends in a scandal, and now we're spending days together…
YAROSLAV'S FATHER
It'll be fine, Len. Maybe we've been fighting because we haven't seen each other enough.
Vasilisa is sitting at the computer, watching a video by a blogger in a police uniform.
BLOGGER
Hi, friends and again with you I, Blogger Zeth. And I'm in the form of a law enforcement officer. Why? You will see at the end of… All heard about the introduction of the authorities of the regime of self-isolation?! More precisely, we all drove like cattle in a stall, at home. And this prison quarantine has been going on for almost two months. This is a violation of our constitutional rights of freedom of movement. And I suggest taking part in a mass rally called ANTI-QUARANTINE, with the slogan: Let's give freedom of movement and parties. We are not cattle!!! And remember, free cheese only goes to mousetraps, so everyone who comes to the rally will receive a prize in the form of a lapsh… You'll ask, how much? I'll tell you, enough to get into the party and get out of it… So, everyone to the rally! The word "rally" is so creepy. The party. If you don't go to this party, you'll have to sniff the bera, kitten. And this party is the party of all parties! And don't forget to like and subscribe to the video to stay up-to-date with everything that's been, is, and will be happening… and this is to warm you up before the party on the square.
The blogger angrily tears off his police badges and epaulettes and throws them brutally into the camera.
VASILISK
He's just gorgeous… I need to send it to Yarik. Let him check it out.
He copies the link and sends it to Yaroslav.
CHAPTER 4
A guy and a girl wearing masks and carrying four bags full of basic necessities get out of the elevator and approach the door of Yaroslav's apartment. They place the bags on the floor and ring the doorbell. Yaroslav's grandmother opens the door.
GUY VOLUNTEER
Hello, Iraida Pantelemonovna. Here, we've brought you the groceries according to the list.
