The Unlikely Path

On the other hand, they had had a good life with lots of love and the future was nothing but change and maybe illness and that thought finally made my mind up and with a heavy heart I contacted a local vet who was willing to help.

It was a very sad day, the sky was dull and threatened rain, I was very close to losing my nerve but I had to resolve things myself from now on and I was convinced that this was the right thing to do and to have no regrets. Then another friend suddenly contacted me and asked where I had got our two cats, I asked why and he said that his girlfriend’s children dearly wanted a cat, so, I suggested to him that I had two, and that they needed a good home to go to, because I couldn’t really look after them any longer, and I asked him if they would be interested, he said he would get back to me! Two days later I had a visit from him, his girlfriend and the kids, they instantly fell in love with the cats and off they went, problem solved, they were spoiled rotten, bless them.

Finally, I felt that I was mostly in control again and rang my boss! I was ready to re-join the human race!

They were great at work, everyone was supportive, nobody overdid it and working was the best therapy and on top of that I didn’t have the same worries any more about home so I put my back into work and finally came alive again.

There was still one very tricky little problem, I was alone, going home at the end of a shift felt strange and lonely, it was a big house with four bedrooms and only me! No-one to talk to, I managed to go over and visit my sister-in-law on odd occasions to talk, watch TV, smoke, eat and generally hang out but I still missed company and needed more.

My sons had their own lives and families and friends, the rest of my family was scattered around the country and had their own lives and friends and I desperately needed someone to talk to!

I wasn’t the sort of person to frequent bars or night clubs; I had my friends at work but they were work mates and mostly married anyway and the conversation was different. I needed someone to share my inner thoughts with.

Someone suggested dating sites but I wasn’t looking for a permanent partner, just someone to talk to, I was a bit dubious but decided that I really had nothing to lose so I tried a few different ones, they were worse than useless, there were some answers but the ones that I liked didn’t want to know and the ones that were interested in me, good God, no way! no result! Tried a few more, still the same result, I found one nice girl and arranged to meet but it was called off at the last moment, back to square one!

It was about that time when things took a turn for the worst.

As if losing my wife and giving up my beloved dogs and my two cats, all within a few weeks, would be enough for most people, there was more to come.

My Dad had been ill for many years but had always made light of it, he used to say that there were people far worse off than he and he wasn’t done yet, he was always the optimist and made friends and spread laughter wherever he went.

His health though was not good, he had a weak heart, they had fitted a pacemaker only last year, he suffered from gout, he also suffered from Asthma and his bedside cabinet was like a chemist’s shop. On top of that he had a condition called Diverticulitis and it was causing concern, in fact he had been in recently and the doctors had said that he could do with an operation to sort it out, now the operation wasn’t serious and usually successful but Dad’s heart was a problem and they weren’t sure whether he could survive the anaesthetic, so they said that they wouldn’t do anything at present but they would keep an eye on it to make sure that it didn’t become more serious.

It was the first of March when news came to me, my father had been taken into hospital, he’d been steadily losing weight for more than a year, he’d lost his appetite, unusual for him as he always loved his food and it was now causing my Mum and the doctors some concern and had reached a stage where something had to be done, they had him in, put him through all the tests and then presented him with the worst of all choices, he could have the operation but there was no guarantee that he could survive the anaesthesia, the operation was simple and if successful would give him a new lease of life, the alternative was equally difficult, if he didn’t have the operation there was little chance he would see the summer!

Dad, being dad, said, ‘what have I got to lose? operate! at least that gives me almost a 50/50 chance’

So, they scheduled him to have the operation in a couple of days, meanwhile I had managed to get some time off from work and had travelled down from Cambridge to Redhill in Surrey, where the hospital was, I visited every day to see him and to reassure my Mum and sister who lived not far away in Horsham.

5th March, a Friday, the day of the operation, we were all there at the hospital to see him that morning, everyone was trying to be cheerful and we were all cracking jokes and laughing at Dad as he continued to flirt and chat up the nurses, he loved to do that and made them laugh, he always liked to try and gently insult people, pull their legs and hope that they would insult him back, his motto was that good friends could always insult each other and get away with it, it made them trusted friends, and he was right.

I have continued this tradition as well and it has always worked very well for me.

Finally, he was taken down to the operating theatre and we were shown into small waiting room, we were definitely not going anywhere until we knew the outcome, it was a long wait, quite a few hours, it seemed like days. At last, they brought him back to the ward and said it was just a question of time before he came round after the anaesthetic. Sometime later, I can’t remember how long, the doctor came in, he told us that the operation had been a complete success but, Dad was not responding, he was not waking up, they were keeping him going with several machines but it was not something that they could do permanently and we would have to make a decision fairly soon, whether to switch the machines off!

This bomb shell was terrible news but I suppose with all things considered, certainly not surprising, we had all known the risks, For some reason it was easier for me than my Mum or sister, probably because I had just lost my wife recently and had gradually come to terms with that, but at least I was there for my Mum and Sister and we all slowly came round to the conclusion that the machines would have to be stopped, we were asked if we wanted to be there to which we all agreed, it was rather an anti-climax because nothing much happened until the doctor said that it was over, my Mum and Sister burst into tears but thankfully I was able to provide the shoulders to cry on.

So, the beginning of 2010 had been my Annus Horribilis, as the Queen had said in 1992, when Windsor Castle caught fire and destroyed a lot of British history, first my wife passing then my father, on top of that I had to say goodbye to my two dogs and the two cats, I’d had no luck with finding someone to talk to, it was not the best start to the New Year that I had hoped for, whatever next? Something had to change! My optimism was being sorely tested!

※ ※ ※

It was about that time or maybe just after I had got back from my Mum’s that I heard news about an old acquaintance who had just married again, he had been off the grid for about six months and had come back married, with a Russian wife! I certainly didn’t have any plans to marry again but I needed someone to interact with, both my sons had moved away and apart from a few friends scattered about there was no-one else to talk to. So, I contacted my old friend and asked how he managed to find love again and my friend told me about a different dating site, a Russian one, he recommended it, said it was safe from scammers, they were very security conscious and gave tips on how to avoid trouble, they vetted all their customers and wouldn’t open profiles of people that they couldn’t verify! I thought it was worth a try and opened a profile.

Hey presto! Much to my surprise, two days later an email appeared in my inbox!

Chapter 5

The email picture on the dating site showed a young tallish slender woman with a good figure, obviously, the photo was produced professionally and posed, she was dressed to show her best features, she had a lovely hairstyle, pretty dress, good make-up and looked very attractive with a radiant smile and the photographer knew how to make her pose for the shot! I expected nothing less as I had viewed quite a few of the profiles already.

‘Very nice!’ I thought, and I began to read what she had written about herself.

Languages: Russian (fluent), English (good)

Christian, non-smoker, alcohol, sometimes.

Honest, faithful, romantic.

Interests: history, sport, psychology, craft work.

Looking for a partner

Single mother with grown-up daughter, divorced, Age 45, I like to be very honest with people, I believe I am calm and honest and would love to reciprocate love, affection and care to someone dear to my heart. I am an easy-going type of lady, I don’t like fighting, arguing or confrontation, I work hard and like to enjoy my time off. I generally try and find the ‘good’ in a situation…I am here to get my life partner.

I thought to myself, this looks interesting, she looks a lot younger than her age and I briefly thought it might be a scam and I wondered why she chose me, she is very well educated and I’m not, too good for me! I’m quite a bit older than her but what have I got to lose, maybe I should find out a bit more, so I replied!

It took me a while, I didn’t know quite how to start, I was new to this and had never done anything quite like this before, I finally plucked up the courage and I wrote back after thinking about it all day, I had been a little distracted at work, fortunately not enough to make mistakes while driving and when I finished for the day, I headed home feeling a little apprehensive and also a little intrigued.

I decided to be very honest and up front, I had kept things from my first wife, I didn’t want to upset her and cause her to worry and get depressed again, it had been difficult and forced me to lie to her on many occasions and to be quite honest, ha ha! It had not helped and I felt sure that my wife knew I was lying, when she died, I vowed that I would never do that again and from that point onward I never did but it did get me into trouble once, more of that later. I explained my present situation and mentioned a little about myself and my interests and told her I was just looking for friendship, somebody interesting to talk to. She had obviously seen my picture from the profile and it hadn’t frightened her off, so I felt a little less self-conscious!

I pressed send and forgot all about it for the rest of the day! I had to start sorting out the house and all my wife’s clothes, pack them up and think of what to do with them, I still hadn’t decided.

※ ※ ※

Before all this had happened, I had booked a holiday, I decided to take a break and had booked up a mini-cruise to Spain and back, three days, I thought it might do me good and I was looking forward to it very much but, little did I know what was about to happen; I had been working hard and had finally finished a four-day-stretch and looked forward to a few days off, it was the usual three-day weekend, I got home and crashed into bed as usual and the next morning I stayed in bed a little longer than usual and was slow getting up, I had no plans that day but later, I was going over to my sister-in-law’s for dinner, a chat and a movie. I finally got up went to my office switched the computer on then went downstairs to make a cup of coffee and breakfast. After eating, I walked up to the centre of the village to get a paper and some cigarettes. When I got back, I sat down at the computer, logged in and decided to book the holiday, it was much needed, I had been doing nothing but work, sleep and eat for a long time now, I hadn’t had a holiday in years and I thought it might do me good to get away, even for a few days so I started to search for ideas.

After looking for ages for something appropriate I came across a site for mini cruises and found one that sailed from Southampton down to Bilbao in Spain, stopped there for about four hours and then returned, three days in total, there and back. I had never been to Spain and although this wasn’t quite a holiday in Spain, I thought it would do for a start, so with that thought in mind I booked it up for one of my long weekends, some four weeks ahead and thought, that would do nicely.

I’ll have to inform work but it shouldn’t be a problem and it will be something to look forward to! Get away for a long weekend, maybe I would meet someone on board, someone to talk to, make a new friend, see new places and get some much-needed fresh air and let someone else do the cooking.

I wrote everything down in my diary and filed it away in my memory and thought to myself, it will do me good.

※ ※ ※

I had forgotten all about it but checked my emails every now and then to see if there had been a change in the booking, which can happen, I was advised to do this when I made the booking. I was checking through my emails, looking for any notifications or anything of interest when suddenly I spotted a strange one and realised that there was new one from the dating site!

Her name was Lena, she thanked me for the reply and proceeded to tell me a lot more about herself and her city and surroundings. She was an only child and her father had left her Mum when she was only a baby so she never knew him! Her daughter, she had had when she was very young and the boy she was seeing wasn’t interested in children or marriage and had disappeared without any intention of supporting her and the child. So, she had to bring up the child with her Mum helping most of the time because the jobs she had did not pay well, so she had to do a few jobs at the same time.

She’d survived and been reasonably successful, she’d been married once but it had been a marriage of convenience and with someone she had never seen, and the marriage had been annulled within a few weeks anyway, later on she had fallen in love with a guy at work and they had lived together for about 12 years, at first they got on OK but he had no ambition and a terrible temper and after one traumatic tantrum, where he had threatened her daughter, Lena decided enough was enough and to call it a day and they agreed to separate, he agreed to take the Dacha and she kept their small flat, they remained friends until she sold her flat to a stranger, he had had an idea that if she sold it, it would be to him, from that point onwards he hadn’t spoken to her.

She then realised that she wanted something much better than living on her own and a friend put her up to the idea of finding a foreign guy, foreigners were rich or so she thought, she was good at English, so someone from an English speaking country would be excellent, her friend suggested that as Lena was going on a business trip to St Petersburg soon she should call in to the Smolensk Cemetery after her seminar in the evening and visit the shrine to St Ksenia and pray for a husband, she was known to be good for that!

Lena was horrified! Her friend wanted her to go to a cemetery at night, walk through all the graves and pray at a Chapel for a husband, she had to be joking! Her friend had laughed, it wasn’t like that, the small Chapel was well known and well lit, pilgrims in their hundreds visited and prayed there every day and night, she said there would be a queue and that she would be perfectly safe.

So, after thinking about it for quite some time and trying to convince herself that she wasn’t mad, she finally made up her mind and set off to St Petersburg on her adventure, feeling very nervous but a little excited as well!

※ ※ ※

This all sounded a little strange to me, that’s putting it mildly, but I was, since my wife had died, in no mood for refusing opportunities and was ready for adventure and change in my life, I was intrigued enough to write back and proceeded to tell her a little more of my history but didn’t mention too much detail about the more recent events of the current year.

A couple of days passed without much happening and then a third message appeared, she wanted to know if I was on social media and if I would like to speak to her in person, maybe on Skype?

I had been on various social sites recently and had connected with some of my old school friends I also joined Facebook, it was new and interesting and I had posted some photos and some comments. I had nothing to hide so I agreed, sent her a link to my Facebook page and also my Skype name, I was quite familiar with Skype, I had used it a lot, I often chatted on Skype with my eldest son in America, he lived and worked there and it was just like having him in the same room, we would chat for ages and whilst chatting we would be able to do other things and it was almost like having him at home, not quite but the best we could do with being so far apart. The point is, that many people felt uncomfortable on a video call but we were used to it so it didn’t bother me at all and I was quite happy to agree, if not actually looking forward to it.

A convenient time was arranged, the time difference was about six hours, so we had to work out when would be suitable for both of us.

Now, when Lena wrote in her profile that she could speak English, it wasn’t quite the whole truth, I found out later that it was a slight exaggeration, she has always been good at that, she knew English OK, her level, we would say was upper intermediate on paper, but she had very little practical experience of actually using it to talk, especially to a native speaker, like me. We had communicated a lot via text messages on our phones so I was a little unprepared for what happened on our first Skype call!

I, like my dad, spoke quickly and on our first meeting on Skype it quickly became apparent that Lena, couldn’t understand very much of what I was trying to say, it was a mini disaster, we struggled, we had to use Skype SMS messages a lot, also Russian/English dictionaries, google translate, some pictures, a lot of scratching of heads, a lot of hand waving and gestures, embarrassing silences but we managed to get through our first meeting without putting each other off for good. It was extremely tiring for both of us but also very interesting, you never know what someone is like from just writing to each other and Skype gave us the opportunity to see each other face to face, you get an immediate chance to see the other persons eyes and see how honest they are and I saw that this woman was both charming and very open. We finally managed to be reasonably successful and arranged to talk again soon.

Despite being a little stressful, I enjoyed the call very much, I had found Lena lovely, she had laughed a lot at the nervous jokes I cracked, she had the most wonderful blue, honest eyes, and to my surprise, I found that I was immediately attracted to her. The rest of that day was a blur and I felt happier than I had been for a long time, I was on cloud nine, as we say!

Chapter 6

We first started communicating with each other on the 21st April 2010, it was messages through the dating site for the first week, then SMS messages for a couple of weeks with emails as well then Skype calls and SMS messages interspersed but soon it developed into whenever we could and then very quickly became every day, it became almost an obsession with me, I couldn’t get enough! Lena had pleaded with me very early on to talk slower and very soon our conversations were lasting longer, they were also becoming a lot easier, her English speaking improved rapidly and I was learning to communicate much more clearly and was finding it fun to help Lena with her language and also, strangely enough, to improve my own! I was getting very good at guessing what she meant even though the words were not the right ones, I was finding it easier and easier to understand her and it was hilarious sometimes when she used the correct grammar that she knew on the wrong word, I found it captivating and delightful.