How to get married and not to get divorced in a couple of months. Manual for newlyweds

Nowadays it is fashionable to have a slim figure, and men are proud of their fragile girlfriend and how gracefully she looks. However, it is also a trigger for the formation of hysterical nature. Why? A woman who denies proper nutrition and deprives herself of fats and carbohydrates does not support their necessary balance in the body, as a result of which her nervous system suffers. Simply put, her hysterics is the result of starvation, and only. This can lead to two the most fashionable diseases of our time: anorexia and bulimia, which are very difficult to cure, as not only physiology is affected, but also neurology and the brain. In fact, this is the same like drug addiction or alcoholism. So, think what is more important for you: a healthy and calm woman with a couple of extra kilos or an incurable hysterical woman with a thin waist, disgusting character and a sore head that torments you, your children and everyone around you with constant hysterics?

Sometimes banal fatigue is the reason for hysteria. A woman is often ready to take on too heavy burden, both physically and morally incommensurable with her capabilities, and as a result – hysteria! Help her, and maybe everything will be normal.

Sometimes hysteria accumulates as a result of sexual abstinence or lack of discharge. A man lives himself and believes that everything is fine whereas a woman suddenly explodes and attacks him with some false accusations, and only good sex can calm down the raging hysterical woman. A woman often refuses sex, saying that she has a headache, and does not think that her head can hurt due to lack of sex. Think about it!

In fact, there are a lot of reasons for hysteria. How to help your beloved when she feels bad? Try to understand her. Notice that at the very moment of the hysteria she, as a rule, openly begins to talk about what she was silent about and what she kept, what brought her to this state. Listen to her requests, expressed in such a way when you have the ringing in your ears. Believe me, she is no better now than you! Sympathize with her and try to show maximum attention to her problem, calm her with the words that you are near, and you are together, and everything will be fine with you, because you’ve heard her.

Chapter 6

First morning

Morning after the wedding.

Husband finds wife all in tears in the kitchen:

– What happened, dear?

– I have been boiling this egg for two hours, but it is still solid!

The most romantic morning is the first morning that you meet with your beloved. Take care of it in advance. There are several scenarios of the original and unforgettable morning for her, so as for you.

Scenario 1

Prepare two identical T-shirts and mugs with your photos and the captions "My favorite husband" and "My favorite wife" in advance.

If this is a hotel, order breakfast in your room, and always with a bouquet of fresh flowers. They must be white! Congratulate and thank her for the warmth that she’s given you today, read the poems you learned beforehand, for example, this is a poem by Sergey Yesenin “Good morning”:

The gold stars are sleeping,The mirror – pond trembles,The down light comes creepingAnd heaven's net reddens.The birch – tree smiles sleepily,Her silk locks free flowing,Green earrings are rustling,And silver dew glowing.Tall nettles by the fencingTheir bright pearls are flauntingAnd whispering merrily:"Good morning!"Scenario 2

This morning scenario is simpler, but also quite memorable. Wake up a little earlier, make coffee for two with small toasts with butter and jam. Having woken up, first of all she’ll see the breakfast prepared by you. But the main thing in surprise will be the pre-ordered (this can be done remotely via the Internet) a call to her mobile from some famous character or a politician. The reason for a smile is provided!

Scenario 3

Prepare an aromatic candle, a bottle of champagne, fresh strawberries and a can of cream in the evening. As soon as your sweetheart wakes up, you will be able to surprise her with a tasty drink and an unusual “breakfast”. Well, then you can combine, as your heart desires! The main thing is to know that if a girl has more:

– visual thinking – she likes to talk about love and relationships, often repeats the words “hear”, “speak” – it is better to read a poem about love or sing it (if you are, of course, ready and able to do it!);

– auditory thinking – she likes to be surrounded by beautiful things, likes to observe and often repeats the words “look”, “look like” – everything is important to be beautiful: flowers, a silver tray with beautiful cups or glasses, napkins and etc.;

– kinesthetic thinking – she likes to touch, to stroke and often uses the expression “I feel”, “it touches me”, etc., – things in her hands must be pleasant to touch: soft silk napkins, thin graceful spoons or a champagne flute.

Of course, it is impossible to write what girl belongs to what group, but if you look at your beloved carefully and listen to her words, you will understand how to act to make this morning unforgettable. The main thing to remember is all girls love the smell of freshness and purity!

And finally, a little more Sergei Yesenin:

Scarlet light of dawn appears on the lake.Wood-grouses are crying in the forest.An oriole is crying somewhere, buried in a hollow.Only I do not cry – my heart is light.I know you will come out for the ring road one day,Let's sit together under stack of hay.I will kiss you drunk, like a fervent boy,I hope no one blame me for this simple joy.You will lose your mask with my caresses,I'll carry you drunk till the morning comes.And let the birds cry at a lawn.There is anguish merry in the awe of dawn.

Chapter 7

Are you ready for children? A simple test. A child in the family: the pros and cons

For many men, especially guys who are under 35, this topic is absolutely irrelevant. Why? Because life priorities are clearly defined in a different plane: sex, hobbies and work. Therefore, the partner is being looked for these needs – she must be beautiful, sexy, interesting in communication, she should not be ashamed to show in society, go with her to the club or to hang out with friends.

But time passes, and the biological clock and logic turn on: how old will I be when my child goes to the first grade or when will he go through a transitional age? And will I be his authority?

After all, it is not a secret to anyone that the older the parents, especially if they have not achieved particular results in life, the less prestige they enjoy with their own children. Moreover, children are often shy of their parents, because dad is not so fast and not very strong, he is not recommended any entertainment, which an unruly teenager seeks – clubs, discos, motorcycles, extreme travel, etc.

Adult dad is very different from his son in the psycho-emotional sense, as the difference of generations becomes deeper every year and children move further away from their parents due to the development of the Internet and new and new gadgets supplied to the modern market. At the same time, the older the parents, accustomed to live communication, the more they suffer from the fact that their growing up children are more and more far from them and go into the virtual world, and the less they have to communicate with them. It really is!

We assume that you have found a woman and is ripe for the birth of a child. How to check if this is the woman with whom you are ready to raise your children? Are you ready for the fact that she may become fat after childbirth, her character may change, and most importantly, her attention will be directed not at you, but at the little screamer? After all, it is not easy to survive the reduction of your position to a secondary place at all: to run errands, not to get enough sleep, to adapt to the life rhythm of the baby, to postpone meetings with friends, to plan weekends and holidays under the schedule of the child, to change diapers, etc., etc. If you answer yourself: “Yes, I am ready,” then…

…  Let's do a little test, and maybe you will immediately understand something for yourself.

Answer the following questions:

1. Do you have a job and a stable income, which allow you to live well?

2. Why do you need a family? Is it the prospect and goal of your future life?

3. What is your hobby? What do you like? Is your hobby related to your family?

4. Remember your family. What was it like? Do you remember your childhood and youth with pleasure? What place did mom and dad have in your life?

5. Can you imagine what your child will be like? How will you raise him? Do you have plans for his future?

6. Who do you want more: a daughter or a son?

7. Are you ready to play with the baby? What toys are interesting to you?

8. If a girl gets pregnant, what will your reaction be? If you answer all questions easily, it means that you are really ripe for not just being called a father, but for being a father! After all, it is the child who strengthens the relationship between spouses, in the event that they are based on the desire for a long life together.

No matter how trite it may sound, children are like an energy drink: they give us strength, make us study, move forward and grow, look good, be always in good shape and look after our health.

And what could be nicer than meeting successful children? You see how they and your dreams are realized, how smart and beautiful they grow. I didn’t just switch to the plural, since the child needs both a father and a mother. Children grow self-confident, strong and smart only in a full-fledged and loving family.

Both father and mother give them the life experience and forces that will move them forward and help them build the same warm family relationships in which the parents grew up.

If a child has a correct life scenario and he grows up in a full-fledged family, in which there is both a father and a mother, it means that both he and his children will most likely go well; on the contrary, if the child grew up only with his mother or only with his father, then he often forms a feeling of envy towards full-fledged families and anger at this “unjust” world. So, most likely, the life of such a child will consist of mistrust and contradictions, and both parents will be guilty of this, because they were not ready for the burden of responsibility and problems, whose name is child.

Life example

Eugene was a cheerful, handsome and generous man.

His arrival in the small village of N. was noticed by all the girls and women, and in spite of the fact that he was married, Eugene was very popular.

He led the construction of the church, often stayed at work, he had no time to return to Moscow, and therefore, Eugene spent the night a local deacon’s home. Deacon's young daughter Nadezhda, realizing that this was a chance to get out of poverty, began to woo him. Eugene did not have to persuade for a long time, and he began living in two families: one in Moscow and the other one in the village of N.

Six months later Nadezhda discovered with «surprise» that she was pregnant and all the terms for an abortion had already passed. She told Eugene about it. He made a promise to help her to raise the baby. The child was born, the construction was over… Seven years passed. Eugene continued to visit the second family, but did it less and less. And then Nadezhda decided to take matters into her own hands and announced that it was time to go to school for a child, but there was no school in the village, so he, Eugene, had to make the child go to study in the hero city of Moscow.

At that time, the question of registration was strictly, and Eugene had to confess to the double life of his legitimate wife and ask her to register her second son in a Moscow apartment. After listening to him she became indignant and demanded a divorce. They broke up.

Eugene married the second time, and the family seemed to be reunited. But the problem was only one – the son. When a scandal arose, the son always rose to the defense of his mother and shouted at his father that when he was not with them, they lived well and peacefully. The father objected to his son: «Yes, you always lived well, but, so that you know, I paid for your good life!».

«I brought you everything: a balyk, and caviar, and money!». But he constantly heard the answer: «I remember balyk and caviar, but I don’t remember you». And he had absolutely nothing to answer, the mother raised her son in constant reminder that she was a family for him, she was a person he could rely on, everything depended on her: where they lived and what they did, and the father was the phenomenon of «coming – and – going out». What kind of affection and love could there be?

The son was very jealous of his mother, and every year this jealousy did not pass, but intensified. The older the son became, the more unbearable it was to hear derogatory words at him. Eugene understood that he had made a fatal mistake, including the fact that Nadezhda’s father was an alcoholic: at the age of 20 his son began to drink. And most importantly, during the formation of the psyche of his child, his father was not there and he would never be for his son neither a friend nor authority, but only an “ATM” to serve the needs of his son and wife.

That is why I urge you not to rush and think carefully about this difficult decision. And for this, get acquainted with the methods of contraception, which will protect you from unwanted pregnancy of a woman with whom you are not ready to have children.

Chapter 8

Male contraceptive methods. Condom – a savior from the ruined life?

The guy with the girl are having sex.

Girl:

– Dear, you just take care of me and protects from the pregnancy…

Guy (shouting):

– Take care!..

Definitely open, friendly relations between loving people are the best method of protection from unwanted pregnancy, where he and she together decide that they are not ready to have children yet, and they protect themselves together: he uses male contraceptive methods, and she uses female ones. And no one catches and deceives anyone. But such a situation is not always the case, so here are some tips supported by science and practice:

1. The safest and most effective is the use of a condom. It not only protects against unwanted pregnancy, but is also a reliable remedy for venereal diseases. Through the use of a condom the sensitivity of the penis is reduced and prolonged due to this sexual intercourse. There are isolated cases of complaints of latex allergy, but the best recommendation may be the additional use of high-quality lubricant.

2. The interruption of sexual intercourse is in second place among the methods of male contraception according to statistics. But we must remember: it is not only a reliable means of protection from pregnancy (its reliability is about 78%), but also does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Moreover, many men who have used this method for a long time, complained of a decrease in libido. And we should not forget about the knowledge of the woman's ovulation days, when the risk of unwanted pregnancy is especially high. It is necessary to protect carefully and it is better to eliminate sexual contact within seven days before ovulation and five days after completely.

3. If you already have two or more children and you decide that you don’t need any more, then you can use a surgical method of contraception – vasectomy. This is a quick operation that is performed within half an hour, and in two or three months after it is completed, there is no need for other methods of contraception. It is quite expensive, but its efficiency reaches 99%. But it must be remembered that the danger of sexually transmitted diseases remains!

4. Nowadays a new word has emerged in male contraception – male contraceptive pills. They contain sex hormones and contribute to the increase of testosterone in the blood, which, in turn, prevents the formation of sperm. This method of contraception is urgent, and if a man stops taking sex hormones, then his child-bearing function returns. However, the side effects of taking such drugs have not been studied yet, and therefore nothing can be said about this method of contraception. They are still undergoing clinical trials.

The same can be said about the novelty – the male contraceptive implant. It is a hormone-containing capsule that is inserted under the skin and inhibits the production of sperm, thereby reducing the fertility of a man for some time. But this method also does not guarantee reliable protection from pregnancy, and it can be harmful to men’s health.

I am silent about the lack of protection from numerous sexually transmitted infections.

Thus, the following can be said about male contraception: the most effective means is a condom at present, as well as an excellent knowledge of the physiology and work of the woman’s body with whom you spend your sex life. Therefore, learn to quickly and deftly use this reliable tool, plus “Miramistin” to help you, and sleep in peace as a baby's dream!

And if you cannot sleep peacefully? What to do if you are eager to have intercourse? There are different ways to reduce libido for a while.

1. Change in diet

Your task is to remove products that contribute to the development of the male sex hormone, testosterone, from your diet and increase the level of the female, estrogen. Therefore, try to eat less poultry, nuts, spices, dairy products, seafood, chocolate, as they stimulate potency.

On the contrary, increase the consumption of salt and sugar, smoked meats, beer, foods with soy, coffee, fatty meats, foods with a high cholesterol content – this is fast food, various pastries, soybean, corn and flaxseed oil (you should drink seven or eight tablespoons a day, adding a little lemon juice), various energetics and effervescent sugary drinks.

It is believed that the main enemy of potency is also alcohol, especially beer, which contains a lot of estrogen, a female sex hormone. However, if you consume too much alcohol, you can not only permanently get rid of sexual addiction, but also acquire a new addiction, alcohol, as well as problems with the liver and heart. Therefore, I would react with caution specifically to this advice.

2. Active sports can really help you. Full-fledged work with “iron” in the gym or long-distance running in summer, skiing in winter, group classes and team games – football, volleyball, basketball, etc. – will not only strengthen your body, but also make it strong and hardy. Serious classes cause severe fatigue, so your body will require rest and sex will be much less desirable.

3. During this period, various herbs, which can be simply brewed and taken during the day, help well. Mint, lemon balm, and St. John's wort have a sedative and light hypnotic effect, gently reducing the tone of the whole body.

4. There are also pharmaceutical industry tools that also reduce libido well, such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, blood pressure lowering drugs, as well as such drugs as Cimetidine, Finasteride, Omeprazole, Spirono-lactone, Disulfiram, but they can only be prescribed by the attending the physician after passing the necessary research and testing, because they can have a negative effect on your body and have a number of contraindications.

Why do I describe all this in such details to you? Look around. How many people living together are happy? I'm sure you will say that you can count them on your fingers. Moreover, according to the United Nations Demographic Yearbook, which includes global statistics on divorces, we are the leaders in this area: Russia has the largest number of divorces in the world! There are five divorces for one thousand people in our country, this is absolute leadership. These are unhappy children, who do not know and do not know how to create their full-fledged families in their turn, these are unhappy adults, lonely and often useless old people.

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