Suddenly a Father

“The grandparents were willing to let her go?”

“For now.” He clenched his uninjured fist. “Brooke didn’t hesitate, which was the craziest part. Stacy had talked about me, had told Brooke she was going to find her father. My picture was in a frame on Brooke’s nightstand. I walked into their house in Atlanta, and she reached for me as if I’d been her dad forever. Like she’d been waiting for me.”

“Kids can be pretty amazing,” Millie whispered.

“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad, but I owe it to that little girl and her mother to try. Stacy’s parents still want to raise Brooke. I’m not sure what’s going to happen—there’s some nerve damage to my hand and it’s questionable whether I’ll be able to go back to my old job.”

“But you won’t leave Brooke?”

He heard the unspoken accusation in her tone and almost welcomed it. Everyone he knew had been tiptoeing around his future since he’d come back to the States. “I want what’s best for her. You saw me today. It’s highly unlikely that I’m it.”

“You’re her father.” Color flushed bright in Millie’s cheeks. “You can’t desert her now that she depends on you.”

He shrugged. “I’m in way over my head here.”

“I can help,” she answered immediately.

Jake could feel that tension radiated through her, an edginess at odds with her pixie haircut, hippie-girl sundress and shimmering skin. “Why do you want to help?” he asked, taking a step toward her. “What’s your story, Millie Spencer?”

A sliver of panic flashed in her eyes before she regulated her gaze. “I’ve worked at both elementary and preschools, but I’m between jobs. I’m almost finished with a degree in early childhood education and am taking a break from classes, which is why I came to visit Olivia. We didn’t grow up together, so we’re just getting to know each other. She invited me to Crimson while I have some free time. Getting to know someone and mooching off them for several months are two different things. I need a job while I’m here, and I’m great with kids.”

“Do you have references?”

“Of course. Although I just saved the beloved Bunny and cleaned your kitchen floor. I’d say that’s a pretty good reference for myself.”

He held up his hands, his right arm difficult to hold out straight. “Like I said, being a dad is new to me. I want to make sure I do the right thing for Brooke.”

She nodded, as if she approved of his answer. “I have a list of references in my car. I’ll get it before I leave. Is Brooke in preschool?”

He rubbed his hand across his face then pointed to a pile of papers stacked on a nearby desk. “Registration is on the to-do list. I can’t believe how wiped out I am by the time she goes to bed.”

“I can help,” Millie repeated.

“I can’t drive yet and have regular physical-therapy and doctor appointments.”

“That’s fine, too.” Her posture relaxed. “Olivia offered me the apartment above her garage. She and Logan live pretty close, so I can be here whenever you need.”

He shook his head. “There’s a guest suite off the family room toward the back of the house. You can stay there.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s not...”

“Look at me.” He shifted on his bad leg. “I can’t drive. Hell, I can barely bend down to pick something off the floor. If anything happens to Brooke, I want to make sure you’re close.”

He didn’t mention the blistering relief he already felt at not being solely in charge of keeping his daughter alive. Jake had managed through a lot of high-stakes situations, but nothing had scared him like the responsibility of fatherhood. He hadn’t realized how much it weighed on him until the possibility of Millie presented itself.

She continued to frown.

“I’m harmless,” he said, flashing his most convincing smile.

Millie’s eyes rolled in response. “Hardly.”

“I’m desperate,” he said softly.

Her smile was gentle and genuine. “That I believe. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Nothing about my life is good at the moment but...” His voice trailed off as Brooke walked back into the kitchen.

“The dryer dinged,” she said, bouncing up and down on her toes. “Is Bunny ready?”

“Nothing?” Millie asked.

“One good thing,” he amended. “She’s the only bright spot I have. I’m going to make things right for her.” He looked at his daughter. “What would you think about Millie becoming your nanny and helping with things around the house?”

“She’s Mary Poppins,” Brooke yelled happily. Her eyes widened as she turned to Millie. “Will you bring the glitters?”

“Of course.” Millie smiled then glanced at Jake, her expression wry. “I’m not quite Mary Poppins, but we’ve got a deal.”

* * *

“Are you kidding me?” Millie yelled as she burst through the back door of her sister’s house thirty minutes later. “Next time you should mention that you’re sending me into pure chaos before I get there.”

Olivia Travers stood on the far side of the island in the oversize kitchen. She shrugged her shoulders and tried, but failed, to hide the small smile that curved the corner of her mouth. “Would you have gone if I’d explained the whole story to you?”

“Gone where?” the woman sitting on one of the bar stools asked.

Millie recognized Olivia’s friend Natalie Holt from the last time she’d been in Crimson. A tiny pang of jealousy stabbed at her heart for the life Olivia had made in this quaint Colorado mountain town. Millie had never been great at cultivating friendships.

“To Jake’s.” Olivia drummed her nails in a nervous rhythm on the granite counter. “What happened?”

Natalie swiveled in her chair. “Yes, what happened? Jake was always my favorite of the Travers brothers. Tall, blond and wicked smart.”

“Well, now he’s tall, blond and a hot mess,” Millie answered, omitting the part about how terrified he seemed of failing his daughter.

“Emphasis on hot, I imagine.” Natalie nabbed a chocolate chip cookie from the plate on the counter. “Want one?” she asked Millie.

“Did Logan make them?” Millie asked, inching forward, temporarily distracted by her unwavering devotion to all things chocolate.

Olivia nodded and pushed the plate toward Millie. “I’m sorry, Mill. But he needs help. I knew you’d be able to get through to him. Logan and Josh are worried.”

“Then why is he alone with his daughter?” Millie couldn’t help the recrimination in her voice. “What kind of family leaves someone in his condition to fend for himself?”

“What condition?” Natalie made a face. “I didn’t even know Jake was in town. Why am I always the last to know everything?”

“Sorry,” Olivia answered. “Jake wanted some privacy until he got settled.”

“Whatever.” Natalie reached out to pat Millie’s arm. “You’re new around here, Millie, so let me explain how hard it is to stay mad at Saint Olivia. She’s just too damn sweet.”

“Tell me about it,” Millie muttered, scooting forward to take a cookie. Logan was a phenomenal baker, even if she questioned his skills as a brother.

“Have a seat,” Natalie said, patting the chair next to her. “I don’t have to pick up my son for another hour and I’m guessing whatever’s happening with Jake is way more interesting than any bad reality TV that’s on at the moment.” She looked between Olivia and Millie. “Who wants to spill it? You know I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Olivia sighed. “Jake was injured while on a medical mission near Haiti, an aftershock from a big earthquake. At the same time, he discovered he had a four-year-old daughter.” Natalie’s mouth dropped open, but Olivia continued, “The girl’s mother died when a hotel roof collapsed but had granted him custody. So he’s brought Brooke to Crimson while he recovers. She’s adorable and totally dependent on him. He’s working with an orthopedic surgeon he knows at the hospital between here and Aspen. It’s a renowned sports medicine center and I guess he has some friends there. At this point, they’re not sure if he has permanent nerve damage in his right hand or what exactly the injuries mean for his surgical career.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of that,” Millie said.

“I thought it would be better if Jake explained the situation,” Olivia said quietly. “And I wanted you to meet Brooke before you said no to working for him.”

“Because I’m a sucker for kids.” Millie broke the cookie in half and popped the whole thing in her mouth, chewing furiously. “I’m a total sucker.”

“I don’t think that at all,” Olivia answered. “But you love working with children. You have a gift.”

“You can’t say that,” Millie said stubbornly. “You barely know me. I could mess up that girl.”

Olivia blew out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t understand what happened at your internship last spring, but I know it’s a shame you’re giving up on your dreams.”

“I’m not giving up,” Millie argued. “I took a semester off school. Big deal.”

“Hold on, ladies.” Natalie held one hand out toward each of them. “Not that this demonstration of sibling dysfunction isn’t fascinating, but let’s get back to Jake.” She pointed at Olivia. “From what little I know about him, I’m guessing he won’t let anyone in the family help out. He always was a loner.”

“He’s only letting us assist with the bare essentials,” Olivia agreed. “Sara’s away at a movie premiere for a few days.”

“Is it weird hanging out with a Hollywood star?” Millie couldn’t help the question. She was oddly fascinated by the life her half sister had created for herself in Crimson. Olivia’s friend Sara Wellens had been a popular child actor years ago and had recently had a resurgence in her career. She was also married to Jake’s younger brother Josh, and together they ran a guest ranch outside of town.

Olivia smiled. “She’s just Sara when she’s in Crimson. You’ll like her, Millie. She’s got some of your spunk.”

Millie couldn’t imagine having anything in common with an A-list actress, but she didn’t argue.

“Before she left,” Olivia continued, “the two of us went over with groceries and meals for the freezer. We wanted to take Brooke out for the day, but she wouldn’t leave Jake’s side. Logan and Josh have been taking turns stopping by, but it’s the same for them.”

“Poor baby,” Natalie murmured. “This has to be hard for her.” She turned to Millie. “But Brooke liked you?”

Millie nodded. “Kids trust me. I think it’s because I’m small. My mom is the same way—we put people at ease.” She pushed her hair away from her face with one shoulder and took another cookie. “We’re nonthreatening.”

“Right,” Olivia said with a harsh laugh. “Your mother was a threat to my family for decades. Joyce may be small, but she packs quite the emotional punch.”

Millie didn’t know how to respond to that. She and Olivia shared a father, a US Senator who’d remained married to Olivia’s mother up until his death a few years ago. Married, but not faithful. Millie’s mother, Joyce, had been Robert Palmer’s mistress for almost thirty years. She’d built her life around being available to him whenever he needed her, never asking anything in return—no financial support, no pleas to leave his wife. Joyce was the perfect other woman, making the time Robert spent with them fun and easy—a break from the pressures of real life.

But it hadn’t been a break for Millie. She’d needed more. She’d wanted a father who would come to school functions and swim-team meets. Hell, she would have been happy being able to tell her friends she had a father. But her mother had insisted they keep silent about Robert for the sake of his reputation and career. It had always been about him.

So, yes, she and her mom both had a gift for making people feel comfortable. Comfortable walking all over them. Millie didn’t know how to do relationships any other way. That was why she gravitated toward children. Kids didn’t keep secrets or have ulterior motives. And that was what had drawn her to Crimson, Colorado, and the half sister she hardly knew. Olivia had been kind to her, even though she had every reason to hate Millie. They were joined by a family history that had damaged them both.

“I’m not my mother.” She hated that her chin trembled as she said the words.

“Thank heavens for that. But Jake is part of my family now.” Olivia’s voice was solemn. “Logan hardly sleeps at night for how bothered he is that Jake insists on doing everything himself. I asked you to do this because I trust you, Millie. Maybe I see something in you that you can’t see in yourself right now, but it’s there. I hope spending time in Crimson will enable you to discover it again.” She smiled. “This place is special that way.”

Emotion welled in Millie’s chest. If Olivia believed she could help Jake Travers and his daughter, she wanted to prove her sister right. No one had ever put much stock in Millie. She’d been taught from a young age that the way to get ahead was to not make demands—to be amiable and fun and nothing more.

But Jake and Brooke needed more if they were going to make it as a family unit.

“You might be pushing it talking about Crimson being special,” Natalie added, her expression doubtful. “My experience begs to differ.”

Millie was certain Olivia’s friend was trying to lighten the mood, for which Millie was grateful. “You’re a Crimson native, right?”

“Born and raised.” Natalie gave an exaggerated flip of her dark hair. “And only a little ashamed to admit it.”

“You’re still here,” Olivia pointed out. “It’s a wonderful place.”

Natalie shrugged. “It has its good points. The Travers brothers are three of them.” She turned to Millie. “So are you going to stay and help Jake, whether he wants it or not?”

This was it. Her chance to make a run for it. Millie knew Olivia would smooth things over with Jake as best she could. This entire situation had train wreck written all over it. She’d promised herself that she was going to start looking out for number one, but the instinct for self-preservation just wasn’t in Millie’s DNA.

She bit down on her lip until it hurt then nodded. “Although it’s probably another on my long list of bad decisions, I’m going to stay.”

Chapter Three

As soon as he heard Brooke’s happy squeal, Jake knew Millie was back.

It had been almost two hours since she’d left to get her things from Olivia and Logan’s, and the possibility that she wouldn’t return had occurred to him only a couple thousand times.

He wouldn’t have blamed her.

She might need a job, but his messed-up life was too complicated for most people to handle. Yes, his brothers and their wives had offered support more times than Jake could count since he’d returned to Crimson. But he was the oldest and the brother who’d never needed anything.

How could he admit to them that he was so weak?

All of their offers only brought back the flood of guilt about how he’d deserted their family years ago. He’d gotten a college scholarship that had enabled him to leave Crimson and their alcoholic father and never look back. Which he hadn’t, even when his younger siblings needed him. Even when Logan’s twin, Beth, had died in a tragic car accident. Even years later for their mother’s funeral. Jake had used school, then his residency and his work to avoid the past.

He’d only returned because he had nowhere else to go. But he’d do all he could not to let himself depend on his brothers. He didn’t deserve their kindness.

Still, they’d given it to him. Millie was proof of that. Jake would have gotten around to finding a nanny for Brooke, although even that had been difficult because he was too afraid of seeing pity in a stranger’s eyes when they heard his story. Jake didn’t want anyone’s pity.

He lifted himself off the sofa, where he and Brooke had been watching some show about an oversize red dog in between her frequent trips to the window to watch for “Fairy Poppins,” as she’d named Millie.

Millie had made it to the front door, a large roller suitcase at her feet and a duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

She met his gaze and blew out a breath. “You thought I was going to ditch you guys.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” he answered, not bothering to deny his doubts. Years of being a surgeon had taught him to keep his emotions off his face, and it was disconcerting that she could read him so easily. “Let me take your bag.”

“I can manage.” Her eyes tracked to his right side for a moment.

“I’m not a total invalid, Millie.” He reached out, plucked the bag from her shoulder and turned into the house.

He was pretty sure he heard her mutter, “Invalid, no. Idiot, maybe,” but chose to ignore it.

“Want to see your room?” Brooke scooted past him, tugging Millie behind her.

He caught the faint scent of chocolate chip cookie, and his mind went immediately to his youngest brother. Logan had been baking since he was a kid. In fact, Jake and Brooke had made their way quickly through a batch of Logan’s oatmeal scotchies just last week.

“Me and Daddy cleaned it,” Brooke continued.

“Impressive,” Millie called over her shoulder.

“You haven’t seen it yet,” he answered and took the handle of her wheeled suitcase in his uninjured hand. He was glad Millie and Brooke had already disappeared toward the back of the house, since his progress was slow and not so steady as he balanced her luggage on his good side.

Eventually he made it to the back half of the house, where there was a bedroom, a bathroom and small sitting area. Sara had found this house for him to rent. He was grateful for her forethought in making sure it contained enough space for live-in help. Clearly she hadn’t underestimated his postsurgical needs the way he had.

A bead of sweat trickled between his shoulder blades, another reminder of his weakness. Brooke popped out of the bedroom, beckoning him with a large swipe of her arm. “In here, Daddy.”

Daddy.

She used the word so freely, although he’d done nothing to earn it. Of course, he knew how little that meant in the grand scheme of things. If the name father was given based on merit, Jake’s dad would have had the title stripped from him decades before he’d died.

He poked his head in the room but didn’t enter. Something about stepping into Millie Spencer’s temporary bedroom felt as if it might mean more than he wanted it to.

“Does everything seem okay?” he asked, looking all around except where Millie was perched at the edge of the bed.

She stood quickly, her attention focused on brushing the quilt smooth. Apparently he wasn’t the only one affected by the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

“Perfect.” Her voice squeaked just a little, making him smile. She glanced at her watch. “Do you have plans for dinner?”

“Pizza,” Brooke yelled. “Can Fairy Poppins eat with us, Daddy?”

He saw Millie stifle a laugh. “You can call me Millie, Brooke.”

“Millie Poppins?”

“Just Millie.”

“What do you like on your pizza, Ms. Poppins?” he asked when Brooke’s face fell.

“Don’t you start now.” Millie made a face. “And I’m fine with anything.”

“Bacon and pepperoni,” Brooke shouted.

“Inside voice,” Millie told her.

Brooke crossed her arms over her chest. He hadn’t known his daughter long, but already he could see a temper tantrum brewing. “She gets excited about pizza,” he explained to Millie.

“Inside voice,” she repeated, and suddenly he realized that Fairy Poppins had more backbone than he’d expected.

“We have pizza a lot,” Brooke told Millie. Jake noticed that her decibel level had lowered a few notches. One point, Millie Spencer.

“Tomorrow we’ll go to the grocery store.” Millie ruffled Brooke’s hair then turned to Jake. “Do you have peanut butter?”

“Um...yes.”

Brooke shook her head. “Pizza and peanut butter don’t go.”

“It’s for the gum in your hair,” Millie told her. “We’ll work on that after dinner.”

“Mommy didn’t let me have gum.” Brooke stuck her fingers in her mouth, sucking hard.

“I bet you miss her very much,” Millie said softly, bending to Brooke’s level.

Brooke went totally still, but swiped the hand that wasn’t occupied across her eyes.

Jake cleared his throat. “Millie’s going to unpack now, Brooke. Would you help me order the pizza?”

She didn’t move. Although it had happened only a couple of times since he’d picked her up from Stacy’s parents, it scared the pants off Jake when she got like this. He knew what it was like to be paralyzed with emotion. “If you come with me, we’ll get cinnamon sticks for dessert.”

The promise of sugar broke the spell. She nodded and wiped her fingers on the front of her purple cotton dress. Without a word, she lifted her still-glistening hand to him. He swallowed and took it, once again dumbfounded that she trusted him so completely.

Millie stared at him, her hands clutched to her chest.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he told her.

“Yes,” she whispered, her lips barely moving.

“Pizza first,” Brooke yelled, then repeated in a lower tone, “Pizza first.”

“Pizza first,” he agreed and led his daughter out of the room.

* * *

While Jake tucked Brooke in for bed later that night, Millie found a bottle of wine pushed to the back of the refrigerator and poured a tall glass. She wasn’t a big drinker by nature but definitely needed some liquid fortification before talking to Jake Travers alone.

She took out a second glass as he came into the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself,” she said, turning to him.

“Knock yourself out,” he answered.

If only it were that easy.

“Would you like a glass?”

He shook his head. “I take one pain pill a day when Brooke goes to bed. It doesn’t mix well with alcohol.”

“How much pain are you in?”

“It’s not that bad,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “It gets worse when I’m on my feet a lot or don’t take time to rest.”

“Which you don’t, being a full-time father.”

Stretching the splinted arm out in front of him, Jake curled his fingers a few times. “I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning then physical therapy. I’ve had to cancel my last two appointments because Brooke wouldn’t stay with anyone and I didn’t want to take her with me.”

“She’s really bonded to you.”

He looked at her now. The intensity in his gaze almost knocked her over. “It blows me away. I have no idea what I’m doing, and she doesn’t care one bit.”

“You’re trying,” Millie answered. “That counts for a lot.”

His eyes narrowed, studying her. Millie realized she was doing exactly what her mother had always done. Smoothing things over, trying to make the man in front of her feel better even though she barely understood his situation. One of Millie’s biggest weaknesses, inherited directly from her mother, was her habit of caring too quickly. She led with her emotions, and her first inclination was always to view people through rose-colored glasses.

For all she knew, Brooke would be better off with her grandparents. But Millie understood what it was like to have a father who only dropped in occasionally, always bearing toys or some other bribe for affection. Gifts couldn’t make up for the long absences, to a little girl feeling alone and deserted by someone she wanted so desperately to love her.

Brooke had already lost one parent. Millie had to help Jake see that he could be a father, that an imperfect parent who was a solid part of his daughter’s life was better than a fly-by-night dad.

She picked up the pad of paper and pen she’d found in one of the drawers and stepped forward to the kitchen table. “Let’s make a list of what needs to be done, the schedule for you and Brooke, and where I fit into everything.”

His blue eyes darkened and Millie suddenly had a clear picture of where she’d like to fit—pressed up against Jake’s lean frame. He was more than a foot taller than she, so she could imagine how safe she’d feel tucked along his side. She didn’t want to have this awareness of him—it felt new and unsettling, especially in the quiet of the evening. When Brooke was around, she was the focus of both their attention. Now Millie couldn’t help but notice every detail about Jake, from the fullness of his mouth to the broad stretch of his shoulders underneath his faded T-shirt.