Her Secret Thrill

Natalie shook her head. “I’ve only heard what Liza told me. I guess a name like Steam sort of sums things up, though.”

“Exactly. Con’s parents aren’t uptight, and neither is our town, really. But I have to admit the show was a lot more graphic than I’d ever thought. Especially right in the middle of the day.”

“Not a soap fan, I take it,” she said.

“No.” He chuckled. “Although, I’m thinking about changing my mind. Beats CNN when you’re on the road alone as much as I am.”

He laughed, and so did Natalie, but she couldn’t push the accompanying images out of her mind. Jake in all those hotel rooms, watching all those amorous couples on the television screen, feeling amorous himself, doing—

She cleared her throat. “I—I used to watch a couple of them. In college. Actually, it was Liza that got me watching. She has always loved the entertainment industry. I’m not at all surprised she’s found her niche there. Things have really taken off for her.”

“You sound like a good friend.”

She smiled at that. “Thanks. I’m not so sure she’ll agree after I have a little chat with her tomorrow, though.”

He raised his eyebrows. “What are you going to say?”

“Well, just that I don’t really appreciate her putting me in such an awkward position. Not the hostessing—I could do that in my sleep. But what if there had been more people still around when they started—you know.”

His grin made his eyes twinkle. “Well, that could have been interesting. Maybe everyone would have loosened up a little.”

Natalie’s mouth dropped open, then snapped shut. What was he suggesting? An orgy?

As if sensing her thoughts, he added, “Well, you have to admit that was a pretty uptight group. Everyone was so concerned with who was talking to whom and what designer they were wearing. I’ve never seen so many self-involved people in my life. No disrespect to your friend. She wasn’t like that at all.”

Natalie blew out a breath and relaxed. “No, she’s not, but I agree about the rest. Although you should mingle with the people in my firm trying to make partner. Talk about self-involved. Only, all the talk is about investment counselors, stock portfolios and real estate. The only designers they talk about are interior designers.” She suddenly started laughing.

“What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.” But she couldn’t stop grinning. “Okay, I was just picturing Liza pulling that stunt during one of my business parties.” She rolled her eyes. “Although, I don’t think even Liza and Con doing the wild thing right in the middle of the room would have loosened up any of them.”

Jake shared her laugh. “Guess your world is pretty buttoned-up, huh?”

She considered that. “On the surface, certainly. Behind the scenes…well, let’s just say the gossip mill doesn’t suffer from lack of worthy grist to keep it going.”

“I think people are all pretty much the same in that regard, once you get beneath the surface, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, no matter whether they are free spirits like Liza and Con, or a three-piece Suit whose daily routine is as predictable as the weather, underneath they are all still motivated by sex. Or their sexual nature, anyway. Suit might not ever do what Liza and Con did, but that doesn’t mean he might not fantasize about it, or wish that he was bold enough to do it.”

“I don’t think that’s the case at all. I mean, some people would be appalled publicly and feel exactly that same level of mortification personally.”

He took a sip, considering, then held her gaze over the edge of his coffee cup. “Did you?”

She stilled. Or, at least, her heart felt as if it had. “I beg your pardon?”

But her attempt to make him reassess the conversational turn he’d taken didn’t even make him blink. If anything, he looked even more determined. “I said, did you? You were definitely uncomfortable, so was I. I mean, it’s an embarrassing situation, no question. Made more so by the fact that we were strangers to each other, but both knew the…well, them.” He put his mug down. “But other than dealing with my presence while you were listening to them, were you really appalled personally by what they were doing in there?” He leaned closer. “If you’d been alone, what would you have done?”

His expression was daring her. She took him up on it. “I’d have gone into my room, closed the door and run a loud bath. I believe in giving people their privacy.”

“Okay. So not appalled, then. You’d just remove yourself from the situation.”

She thought for a moment, then nodded.

“So you’re in the tub. Are you honestly not thinking about them then? Thinking about what you just heard?”

“Probably I’d be thinking about it, it’d be pretty hard to ignore. I mean, it’s not a typical thing to be presented with.”

“So you’d be thinking about it. Appalled? Or aroused?”

She wasn’t liking where he was going, she’d come here to get away from this—not examine it. But his question intrigued her. Mostly because she was finding something out about herself that surprised her. And since it was only a harmless discussion, she saw no harm in sharing it.

“Maybe I’d be aroused. But not in a voyeuristic way. I can’t say that element has ever remotely appealed to me. But in the earthy way it would make you think about sex in general, I suppose.”

There, that was safe and analytical sounding. Never mind that she wanted to squirm in her seat and that the friction of her shirt against her nipples was driving her mad at the moment. He didn’t have to know that.

Looking into those amusement-filled blue eyes of his, however, she had to wonder.

“So you see, we are all the same,” he concluded. “In general, I mean. We might harbor different fantasies. You don’t get into voyeurism. But you have other things that work for you. We all do. No matter how prim and proper we are on the surface, we are all basically driven by our sexual selves, don’t you think?”

“Not to the exclusion of everything else, no.”

“But you do agree that people who pretend they aren’t sexual creatures, that they don’t respond to some kind of stimuli, are fooling themselves? Even cheating themselves?”

Natalie thought about that. “Perhaps.”

He grinned. “You don’t look too convinced.”

“I think maybe there are people who don’t so much deny their sexuality and their needs, as ignore them.” After all, that summed her up neatly. Not that she was going to share that. “People can have other priorities besides sex.” She shot him a dry smile. “Well, women can, anyway.”

He raised his hands. “Ha-ha. But I’ll agree that men are a bit more sexually centered than women. In general.”

“Now, there you have my complete agreement.”

He grinned and finished off his coffee. “For someone who seems fairly at home with her sexuality, you appear to be pretty conscious of those who aren’t. Are all the lawyers you work with that uptight?”

She was honestly surprised at his assessment. But the surprise and the late hour had her responding before she could stop. “What makes you think I’m at home, as you call it, with my sexuality?”

“The clothes you’re wearing, for one.” He shrugged off her expression with a smile. “I know I probably shouldn’t judge you by your appearance, but I don’t know much else about you. What I do know is that outfit is definitely not for the faint of heart. Or a person not completely at home with the fact that she’s a woman.”

She wouldn’t squirm. She wouldn’t. But damn if she didn’t want to. She should have felt self-conscious about that description. And she did. But she also kind of…liked it. Still, she felt compelled to be honest. Besides, no way could she back up what this outfit promised.

“Thank you for the compliment. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that these clothes belong to Liza.” She folded her arms on the table. “She didn’t find my legal-eagle party clothes suitable for her party. Which basically just proves my point. Liza is sexually adventurous, and her wardrobe and lifestyle reflect that. But I’m not, and my wardrobe and lifestyle reflect that.” There, now at least he’d know she wasn’t advertising something she had no intention of putting on the market.

Although, she couldn’t deny that the thought sent a brief thrill through her.

Jake seemed to think for a moment about what she’d said. “So which precludes which?”

Confused, she said, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, does the lifestyle and wardrobe follow the inherent nature of the woman? Or does the woman simply choose to bury her nature due to her lifestyle and accompanying wardrobe?”

Natalie had no answer for that. It was one thing to reveal that maybe, just maybe, she’d enjoyed daydreaming once in a while about having a wild fling after hearing one of Liza’s tales. It was quite another admitting she was really more like Liza deep down, or would be if she allowed herself to be.

Was she? Had she really subverted her nature because of her family and her career?

“I guess a little of both,” she answered as honestly as she could. “My family is not outward about stuff like that, but I can’t say I share that. Not fully. I might not be comfortable with outward displays, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy them. Maybe. With the right person. I do enjoy my career, and it is my priority right now. I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up for that.” She shrugged. “But maybe I repress that side of me to some point. I don’t think I deny I have it, however.” She looked at him with a little grin. “I guess I haven’t found an easy way to combine the two, so sex usually loses out.”

Was she really sitting here having a frank talk about her sexual nature with a man she just met? But she couldn’t deny it was the most stimulating thing she’d done in recent memory. Stimulating in several ways.

He didn’t say anything, just responded with a little smile of his own.

She realized she was really enjoying herself. He was fun to talk to, intriguing, thought-provoking. She was ashamed at her earlier assessment and rejection of him. Maybe she was guilty of categorizing men, making them less appealing to her so she didn’t have to deal with them. Something else she’d have to think about. What was she afraid of, anyway? Well, that she knew. Though it wasn’t fear. Merely an intelligent assessment of past problems. Entanglements impeded her career. Right now, she was simply not up to dealing with all the baggage and emotional drain that inevitably came with building a long-term relationship.

He smiled at the waitress when she brought more coffee and cream. He waited for her to leave, then turned his full attention back to Natalie. “I can hear the wheels turning over there. What are you thinking?”

She lifted her shoulders and sipped at her coffee. “Nothing. Everything.” She laughed lightly. “I’m not used to such deep philosophical conversations at—” she glanced at the wall clock and groaned “—four-thirty in the morning. My God, how did it get to be so late?”

“It was already ‘so late’ when we started this.”

She looked at him then. And he was looking at her. Really looking at her. And it was as if the air stilled…or something. A certain kind of quiet descended between them, encompassed them. Her throat grew tight, as he continued to look at her.

“Started this?” she managed to say, hardly above a whisper.

He didn’t shift so much as a hair. Didn’t reach out to touch her or make any kind of calculated move. He simply held her gaze as easily as he had all night long and looked at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “This.”

Natalie felt such a rush of arousal that she clutched her coffee mug like a lifeline. Amazing. No one had ever made her react like that. And other than that little brush of his fingertips, he hadn’t even touched her since they walked in. And yet…she felt him.

She wanted to believe it was just the obvious stimulation of their conversation. But surprisingly, neither of them had been at all leering or suggestive the entire time they’d talked. Which made the way he was looking at her now all the more erotic.

Ridiculous. There was nothing here. It was simply an intriguing interlude with a stranger.

A stranger that was currently soaking her panties just by looking at her. And honestly, when was the last time that had ever happened to her? More honestly, when was the last time she’d ever have let anyone get close enough for her to find out?

And this little moment she thought they were sharing could be in her sleep-deprived head, too, she thought with a silent laugh. Or she could just come out and ask him what he meant by this. No. No, she couldn’t. This was fun and even exciting. But no. She had a life to return to, a plane to catch late tomorrow. Later today, actually. And he had business. In Wyoming of all places. She was never in Wyoming—

Which suddenly made this sound perfect.

She was wanting. He looked to be willing.

She wanted to clamp a hand over her mouth. A one-night stand? Natalie Holcomb? But in the next breath, she thought, and why the hell not? Maybe she’d been repressing more than she thought. Because the idea scandalized her. And turned her on so much, she thought she might come just thinking about it.

Oh…my…God. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

Liza would.

She looked at him, then down at those hands of his. When she looked back up, that amused twinkle was back in his eyes.

“We’re not— This is just—” She couldn’t look away from his eyes. “Coffee,” she finished, almost breathlessly.

He nodded. “Best coffee and conversation I can remember having. Maybe ever.”

He glanced down at his coffee but it was the look in his eyes when he lifted his gaze back to hers that did it. Not smug, not aggressive, not pleading. Simply…honest.

“Would you like to extend this conversation?” he asked.

Her throat closed over. Her nipples were so tight now that they actually hurt. He wanted her. Right now. And there was no denying she wanted him. Right now.

And frankly, right now, that was all that mattered.

It was that simple. That thrilling.

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat, her heart began to race. “I mean, yes. Yes, I believe I would like that. Very much.”

“More coffee?”

Natalie jerked her gaze from Jake and looked up at the waitress. “Um, no. No thank you. Just the check.”

The waitress laid the bill on the table. Natalie nervously fished out a ten and tossed it on the pile, not caring about the change.

Now what?

3

IN THE MOVIES, this was where it always segued to the two lovers groping inside the private confines of their room. Lovers. She swallowed. The movies never dealt with that awkward transition sequence.

Then Jake was standing beside her holding out his hand, that charming grin crinkling the corners of his blue eyes. And it was as easy—and as hard—as just reaching out and taking that hand. She took it.

He let her hand go as soon as she stood, but there was that electric brushing of his warm hand on her bare lower back as he guided her to the front door and out into the New York sunrise.

She stopped and turned, an awkward laugh escaping her. “Um, I guess the standard ‘your place or mine’ is out of the question?” She wanted the adventure, but she wasn’t taking him back to her place.

He laughed. “Yeah. I had forgotten about that.”

Her heart was pounding, but Natalie relaxed a little. It was obvious that he wasn’t used to this, nor had he planned it, any more than she had. That relieved her. And somehow made this all the more erotic and exciting.

“Maybe another room at The Maxi?” she offered.

“Actually, I know a place. Uptown. I’ve stayed there before. It’s quiet, out of the way.” He caught her gaze. “Private.”

She liked the sound of that. “Okay.” She stepped to the curb to whistle for a taxi. The streets were pretty quiet; only the early risers and workaholics were out.

He reached for her hand and tugged her back.

She whirled, liking the contact of his hand on hers. When he went to drop it, she instinctively tightened her grip. He paused, looked at her, then tightened his grip as well. She liked the assurance it gave her that they were both in this together.

“We have another stop to make first,” he said, then nodded toward a drugstore on the corner.

Dear Lord, she was so far gone that she’d forgotten about all that.

“I wasn’t exactly planning on meeting you,” he said.

She liked how he said that. Not “I wasn’t planning on having a night of wild sex.” Just that he hadn’t planned on her. Specifically her.

Careful, Natalie. Wild sex was exactly what all this was. Nothing personal, nothing lasting.

He tugged on her hand, and they walked to the corner. His hands were both smooth and rough. And warm. And big. His fingers were all but wedged between her slender ones. She shivered at the thought of where else they might wedge themselves.

“Cold?”

It was early fall, but even now there was a bit of summer in the air. Though that wasn’t why she felt warm. She smiled at him and thought, What the hell. “Not hardly.”

He grinned. “I think you ought to let Liza dress you more often. Brings out the wild side.”

She laughed as they pushed into the drugstore. “Maybe it does.”

What should have been an awkward errand surprise Natalie by turning into part of their foreplay.

Jake kept her hand firmly in his as he wound his way up and down the aisles, looking for condoms. He glanced over at her, that grin playing around the corners of his mouth. “Ribbed or smooth?”

She tried to play it cool, to keep her mouth from simply dropping open, but she couldn’t.

He laughed. “I’ll choose.”

So much for abandoning all her staid principles. But he didn’t make her feel self-conscious about it. In fact, she got the feeling he was rather enjoying teasing her. She was certain of it, when he stopped as they passed a refrigerated unit.

“Hmm.” He slid open one door and pulled out a slender canister. “Harbor any fantasies about whipped cream?”

She tilted her head as if to ponder the question, when the truth was she’d never once thought about sex with whipped cream on top. “Give me a few minutes,” she finally said, when he raised his eyebrows.

He laughed outright but put the can back. She was almost disappointed. Almost. Right now she only wanted him. Unadulterated.

They made their way to the counter. She should have been uncomfortable, standing with him while he—or rather she—made such an obvious purchase, but instead she held the clerk’s rather direct gaze with a direct one of her own. Go ahead, she thought, judge me. But I’m going to be having a lot more fun in the next couple of hours than you will. Right then, she began to see why Liza indulged in this side of life.

It was fun.

Jake got the taxi. He gave the cabbie directions, then leaned back. The radio was blasting and the traffic was steadily picking up. They were both silent, but Jake still held her hand. As they made their way uptown, he began to trace small patterns on her palm with his fingertip.

She didn’t squirm. Or lunge at him. But she wanted to do both. She’d assumed people who did this would be groping and tearing at each other’s clothes the whole way to their room. This wasn’t at all how she would have pictured it. It seemed so sedate. Detached. And yet, it was anything but. Sitting silently next to him, feeling his fingers on her palm, was extremely sensitizing. It al lowed her to think, to feel, to absorb. To imagine that fingertip brushing her in other places, slowly, lazily.

He made her feel that there was all the time in the world and he intended to make good use of each and every second.

Dear God, but she was dying to have him.

IT WASN’T AWKWARD at the hotel, either. They knew him there, but were discreet enough not raise an eyebrow when she slid her credit card across the desk. There was the briefest of moments when they asked about needing a bellman for their luggage, just enough to tell her that Jake didn’t typically show up with a woman on his arm at the crack of dawn. Enough to make her feel better…but also just enough to make her feel naughty. In a sort of decadent, delicious way. Was this really Natalie Holcomb?

As he guided her across the thickly carpeted lobby, she decided she was glad they’d come here. The hotel was small, but intimate and modestly elegant. Apparently cowboys had style. She let Jake direct her to the elevator. They were the only two to step inside.

When the doors swished shut, Nat felt a tiny jolt of panic. Well, not panic, but…reality maybe.

“You okay?”

He was so aware of her. She liked it, rather than resented it. If he was that in tune to her, it could only mean good things later. Right? She tried not to gulp. She was really doing this. In broad daylight, even. Somehow that made it feel even more sinful.

She looked at him and he took her hand, that playful, sexy smile on his face.

Oh, yeah. She was definitely doing this.

“I’m nervous,” she said honestly. “But very okay.”

He smiled. “Me, too. On both counts.”

She laughed suddenly. “I have to say it—I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Might as well get that out in the open.

“Me, either.” He moved closer to her. “Although, I’m beginning to think I owe Con a thank-you.”

He was so warm. So big.

She nodded. “I’m probably not going to be having that talk with Liza, after all.”

The doors slid open, but they stood, mere inches apart, staring at each other.

“I need to ask you something,” she said.

The doors started to slide shut, but Jake reached out and held the button. “Ask me anything.”

“What is this—exactly?” She laughed a bit nervously at his confused expression. “I mean, I know what this is. But I’m catching a plane later today. And another one a few days after that. And so on. I wasn’t planning on—”

He pressed one of those big, thick fingers against her lips. “This can just be…this. No strings. No tomorrow.” He let his finger slide slowly off. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

She was pretty sure that was exactly what she wanted to hear. She didn’t dwell on anything beyond that. “Yes.”

He let his finger off the button, and the doors shut. “Come here,” he said softly, and pulled her into his arms.

She went into his arms as if she’d been there hundreds of times before. And yet it was an electrifyingly original experience.

He tipped her chin up and angled his head. “Let’s taste each other. And go from there.”

His kiss was tender but firm. His lips warm and dry…then quickly wetter. She slid her arms around his waist and smoothed her hands up his wide back. God, he was big. She’d never been with a man this…large. There was something deeply elemental about how overpowering he was compared to her shorter, slighter frame. But rather than be intimidated by it, she was secretly aroused by it.

In fact, as his wide hands moved up her back and cupped her head, moving it exactly where he wanted it, she felt an undeniable urge to have him move her whole body exactly how and where and whatever way he wanted it. She wanted him to be in control, to take her…and make her like everything he wanted to do to her.

She would have been shocked by the realization—she was definitely one for equal partnerships—but she was too busy reeling from the feel of his tongue invading her mouth.

He didn’t push or shove. He enticed. Goaded. Teased. Twined. Made her want to do the same. So she did.

There was a sudden clearing of throats.

Natalie jerked her head up to find two elderly men staring at them. The lobby stretched out behind them. They’d apparently gone back down. She’d forgotten they were even in the elevator.

Her cheeks warmed. Jake caught her eye and winked, then tugged her out of the elevator. “You take this one, gentlemen. We’ll catch another one.”