From This Moment On

But Matt had brought her to Montana so she could have a new life. Leave her troubled past behind. Sadie hadn’t known her circumstances, yet she’d seen the thirst for payback in Nikki’s eyes and in a few well-chosen words, convinced her it wasn’t worth it. When Nikki thought about it now, she had to hold back a shudder. The people here didn’t understand what she was capable of. Not even Matt got it. He hadn’t known her as a teenager.

That same night Trace had come into the bar with her, and to be fair, he’d played a big part in calming her down. He’d sat and listened and told her he wouldn’t blame her one bit for wanting to slap those guys into the next zip code. And then he’d reminded her that it wasn’t over—the men would be fired and the pleasure should be Matt’s.

God, it still bothered her that she’d told Trace little things about her past she wished she’d kept to herself. She’d known him less than a week, had never spoken to him one-on-one before that night. At the last minute he’d shown up to help Matt and ended up with a split lip. Not a big cut, just a small nick near the corner of his mouth. It had stopped bleeding pretty quickly, but every time she looked at him, she was reminded he’d been hurt because of her.

That was the only reason she’d opened up to him. Why she’d confessed that she hated Wallace more than she thought humanly possible, that he deserved to be sick, and how she was glad he was dying. She hadn’t censored her vile thoughts. They’d tumbled out of her mouth, and Trace had just sat there, without a hint of judgment.

Of course some of it wasn’t news to him. The McAllisters knew quite a lot from Matt because he trusted them. The scary part was, for those two rocky hours she’d sat with Trace, she’d actually trusted him, too.

That was enough to rattle her. She just didn’t put that kind of faith in people. She trusted Matt, but getting there had taken nearly a year of ups and downs. The only other person she completely believed in was her mother, who loved her no matter what. Her mom was the main reason Nikki was giving Blackfoot Falls a try. She’d met a businessman from Mexico City who wanted to marry her. But it wouldn’t happen, she’d never leave Houston as long as Nikki was there.

No, trust didn’t come easy for Nikki. Especially with men. They always disappointed her. And a guy like Trace with his looks, his family’s clout, money and a bright future…He was the worst kind of man to count on. Good-looking smooth guys like him couldn’t seem to help themselves. They had charm to spare and felt they owed it to the female population to spread it around.

She’d fallen for a man like that before, and she’d been burned. Badly. Just like her mom had been crushed by Wallace all those years ago. If nothing else, Nikki had learned a lesson from the experience. Or so she’d thought until that night she’d blabbed to Trace.

“You need anything else besides those tequila shots?” Sadie asked, with a glance at Nikki’s loaded tray.

“No, this is it. Thanks.”

“I wouldn’t worry about Trace.”

Nikki hefted the tray at the same time Sadie spoke and almost let the pitcher slide off. “Where did that come from?”

“You’ve been staring at the door the last five minutes. I figured you were worried about him.”

“Why would I be? That’s crazy.”

Sadie smiled. “My mistake.”

Nikki dropped off the pitcher first. She’d been carrying heavy trays and serving drinks since she was old enough to work. But something in Sadie’s smug expression had thrown her off and all she needed was for the entire order to crash to the wooden floor.

Her tips weren’t so good that she could afford to hand half over to Sadie.

She delivered the tequila shots to the two cowboys sitting in the corner and managed to give them a smile. They were nice laid-back guys whose names she really should remember. Both were good tippers and patient when she got slammed. She hated that all the other customers seemed to fade when Trace was in the bar. But what she hated even more was that he hung out with Sam.

Sometimes Sam was okay. He’d come in nearly every night since she’d started working for Sadie. He liked to flirt and tease, not just with her but with the Sundance guests. She knew that at least one of the women had gone off with him last week. For her part, Sam was the kind of guy she’d go a mile out of her way to avoid. He was good-looking, but too cocky and full of himself. Definitely a one-night stand guy. After checking on her customers, she stowed her tray and slipped behind the bar to wash glasses. The dishwasher had conked out three years ago and Sadie had gone without since. Last week she’d admitted to Nikki that she’d almost closed the bar a month before the Sundance opened their doors to guests. Business had gotten slow with so many layoffs in the area. the hired hands who were left had started going to Kalispell for their entertainment. Until all the young single women began arriving each week.

At the end of the bar Sadie made jukebox change for a customer and then grabbed a clean towel and joined Nikki. “I was gonna get to those glasses next, but thanks for pitching in. You’re a good worker, Nikki. And God bless you, you showed up at the right time. I would’ve been up a creek without anyone reliable to fill in for Gretchen.”

“She’s ready to have her baby anytime now, right?”

“Next Tuesday is her due date.” Sadie picked up a mug and dried it. “Claims she’ll come back to work in two months but I’ve got my doubts. Even if she does I can still use you two nights a week if you’re willing.”

Nikki nodded, though she’d been hoping for something more full-time. But then again anything could happen in two months. Her mother planned on relocating to Mexico City in three weeks. As soon as she was settled Nikki could start thinking about where she wanted to end up.

Cole’s girlfriend, Jamie, loved San Francisco, claimed it was one of her favorite cities, and she was a travel blogger who’d been around the world more than once. Maybe Nikki would go have a look for herself, see if she could find a decent job there. Although she was hoping to save more money before she left.

If she left. She really was trying to keep an open mind, but she couldn’t seem to imagine the Lone Wolf ever feeling like home. the huge two-story house was beautiful, nicer than any place she’d ever lived or most likely ever would. And the guest bedroom, which was now hers according to Matt, was almost as big as the apartment she’d had in Houston.

Most of the time the ranch was quiet, too. So still and quiet that at first it had creeped her out. In her old neighborhood it wasn’t unusual to hear gunshots in the middle of the night. Sometimes at the Lone Wolf if she kept a window open she’d hear a calf bawling or a rooster crowing. She hadn’t gotten used to that yet.

“Do you think Marge might need help at the diner?” she asked, and Sadie frowned. “I’d still work here whenever you needed me, but after Gretchen comes back, I wouldn’t mind picking up a few shifts over there.”

“I don’t think she needs anyone but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Frankly, though, I think the tips are better here.” Sadie dried two more mugs before she said, “Of course I’d never refuse to take Gretchen back, but it wouldn’t surprise me none if she wanted to stay home with that new baby and only work a couple nights a week. If that happens, the other shifts are all yours.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” She watched Sadie brace a hand on the back counter while she stretched up to stow the clean mugs on the upper shelf.

Her diabetes was under control, and she’d lost some weight, which allowed her to get around more, but she still had a few health issues. She’d been divorced a while and her only daughter lived in Oregon. For whatever reason, they rarely spoke and hadn’t seen each other in years. Sadie only had the Watering Hole. Leaving her would be hard. Nikki hadn’t expected that, especially not after working for her only two weeks. She’d miss the small rustic bar, too, with its warped tables and mismatched chairs.

“You look a little sad tonight, honey.” Sadie took the soapy mug from her and rinsed it. “You missing your mama?”

“A little. Mostly I’m happy she’s found someone who really cares about her.” Nikki couldn’t say the words without thinking about Wallace and how horribly he’d wronged her mother. She’d been young, hopeful and in love with the handsome older man who’d used her until she and Nikki had become an inconvenience.

“She have any family in Mexico City?”

“Some cousins and an uncle. I’ve never met them, but she’s stayed in contact.”

“I imagine you’ll be visiting her soon enough.”

Nikki nodded, though she worried she couldn’t scrape together the money to make the trip. No way she’d accept the fare from Matt even though he’d offered. She still planned on repaying him for the money he’d secretly sent her mother for a year. He just didn’t know it. Good thing, because it was going to take her forever.

“I hope I’m not opening a can of worms here,” Sadie said, “but how’s Wallace doing?”

Nikki shrugged. “He has a few weeks. He’s not even seeing the doctor anymore. A nurse from the clinic stops by now and then. Matt and Lucy are taking care of him.”

“Well, I sure give Matt credit. I doubt that boy ever heard a kind word from Wallace.”

“I think in Matt’s mind he’s doing this for his mom.”

Not anxious to talk anymore about Wallace, Nikki finished washing the last glass and then rinsed and dried her hands. “I’d better go check to see if anyone’s thirsty,” she said, her gaze going to the door. It had been a while since Trace left and the woman who’d chased after him hadn’t returned. Nikki had no business wondering what they were doing. They could be making out in his truck for all she cared.

“I bet she asked him for a ride back to the Sundance just to get him alone.” Sadie moved closer and lowered her voice. “Some of these city gals are downright shameless.”

Nikki didn’t bother denying her thoughts had drifted to Trace. Sadie saw too damn much. “Yes, sometimes we are.”

“I didn’t mean you.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

Sadie gave her a long look and laughed. “Don’t you start getting sassy with me.”

“Well, I am a city girl. Before coming here, I’d only left Houston once.” For a quick trip over the border to Mexico when she was sixteen and what a disaster that had been. Too late she wished the memory had stayed buried along with the other stupid rebellious things she’d done.

“Yes, but you aren’t like them.” Sadie’s gaze flickered toward the tall brunette talking to Sam. “That one, Sam Miller, he’s like a hound in heat. I’m not complaining, mind you. He’s good for business.”

“So is Trace.”

Sadie didn’t appreciate the remark, judging by her narrowed eyes. It was clear she liked Trace, maybe simply because he was a McAllister, no telling. “Those two names don’t belong in the same sentence.”

Nikki had to put her opinion on hold when a customer signaled for her. She’d meant to check to see who needed refills, not start thinking about Trace. Or trying to figure out how she could get information about him from Sadie without being obvious. Really stupid because she’d had him figured out the first night she met him at the Sundance. He’d been surrounded by fawning guests, eating up the attention. She’d promised herself right then she’d stay away from him. If she decided to hang around Blackfoot Falls for a while, she didn’t want to be the subject of gossip and embarrass Matt.

While collecting drink orders she had the feeling of being watched and looked over to find Sam staring. He gave her a sly wink that made her want to smack him. She pretended she hadn’t seen it. After working in bars for five years, she’d found it was best to ignore men like him when they were on the hunt.

“Four more tequila shots and three beers,” she told Sadie, then slid her tray onto the bar.

“I think Sam was trying to get your attention.”

“Sam can kiss my—” Nikki pressed her lips together.

Sadie chuckled. “I hate to tell you, honey, but I think that’s exactly what Sam wants to do.”

“Sorry,” Nikki muttered. “He’s a customer. I’ll play nice.”

“Not if he gets out of line, you won’t. I’ll take a switch to him myself. Though I reckon Trace would beat me to it.”

She sighed at the woman’s teasing smile. “Why would Trace care? They’re friends.”

Grunting, Sadie grabbed the bottle of tequila. “That’ll be the day. That pool table is about the only thing those two fellas have in common.”

“And being good for business.”

“That, too.” Sadie moved the shots she’d poured onto Nikki’s tray. “Although I think poor Trace has been coming to town to get away from those city gals.” Sadie didn’t even try to hide her amusement. “More likely, though, he has his eye on a certain pretty new waitress.”

“You’re delusional and a troublemaker.” Shaking her head, Nikki grabbed a stack of cocktail napkins. “Why does anyone want to work for you?” She ignored Sadie’s laughter and picked up the tray. “Don’t forget to check your blood sugar.”

Sadie glanced at the round clock on the wall behind her. “Thanks, honey.”

Nikki heard the soft gratitude in the older woman’s voice and hurried off to deliver the drinks. Letting herself care too much about Sadie would be a foolish move. So would letting Sadie think she could depend on her. Right now she was so lost and confused she was no good to anyone.

NIKKI WAS FINALLY getting the hang of driving a pickup and she wasn’t even grinding the gears so much anymore. No sooner had the thought formed than she shifted to make the turn onto the gravel drive and cringed at the awful sound she made. The truck Matt had given her to use was old and smaller than the other two big four-door, extended cab models that belonged to the Lone Wolf. He’d tried to convince her to take Wallace’s Escalade, which was an automatic, but driving the luxury SUV scared the crap out of her. Even though she’d gotten her license at eighteen, she’d never owned her own car. In Houston she’d used buses to get to work, then always managed to find a ride home.

The Watering Hole didn’t stay open late. Most of the customers were either hired hands or ranchers who woke up at an ungodly hour to take care of their animals. By eleven the bar was usually pretty dead. A few of the men stuck around if they had the next day off or were close to hooking up with a Sundance guest. No matter who was there, Sadie shooed them out and locked the door by midnight.

Something else for Nikki to get used to. Since she was eighteen she’d worked until the wee hours of the morning. Even while she’d attended community college for two years she’d worked late, and then studied when she got home. This going to sleep early crap wasn’t easy.

Driving slowly toward the Lone Wolf she saw that the bunkhouse was completely dark. Only the low-watt security lights were on in the barns and stable. The house was a different story. Lights blazed from the foyer and Wallace’s office, even the kitchen was lit up.

She saw Rachel’s small white car parked next to Matt’s black truck on the side of the house. No other strange cars were there, like one that could belong to the doctor, so she figured Wallace hadn’t died. It still seemed weird living in his house. She never saw him…only twice in the three weeks since she’d come back with Matt. God only knew what Lucy, the housekeeper, or Rachel thought of Nikki for refusing to help with his care. She knew Matt understood why she’d have nothing to do with the bastard, and that was good enough for her.

The promise her mother had forced her to make still irritated Nikki. Why the hell did her mom care when Wallace finally passed on? He’d caused her nothing but misery. For two years before Nikki was born and three years after, he’d gone to Houston pretending it was business while he cheated on his wife. The arrangement might’ve lasted forever if her mom hadn’t given him an ultimatum—divorce Matt’s mother and acknowledge Nikki as his daughter. That was the last time they’d seen him.

Of course Nikki didn’t remember him very well because she’d been too young. But it wasn’t easy to forget the violent crying jags and gloomy weeks her mom had been too depressed to go to work. Nikki loved her with all her heart, but she would never be that weak. She’d die before she gave a man that much power over her.

3

NIKKI BURIED HER FACE deeper into the pillow. The windows were closed and she’d shut the blinds tight before she’d crawled into bed at four this morning. So where was the light coming from? And the noise…Outside men were talking while horses were doing whatever annoying things horses did…besides terrify her. How was a person supposed to get any sleep?

She blindly felt around the other side of the queen bed, found the extra pillow and plopped it on her head. It helped to mute the sounds but not enough. Oh, man, maybe she hadn’t closed the windows. Her bedroom was too chilly. Even in June, at this altitude, the nights and early mornings had a nip in the air that had her thinking twice about staying for the week much less indefinitely.

With a groan, she flopped onto her back and stared at the digital clock on the oak nightstand—10:16 a.m. Okay, this was a ranch and she knew people had work to do but really, did they have to be so loud?

Her problem could be solved if she just got up and checked the windows. It seemed a simple fix until she tried to swing her legs off the side of the bed. They felt as if they weighed a hundred pounds each. So did her head. She wasn’t the least hungover, even though it felt that way. After work she and Sadie’d had one lousy shot. That was it. And Nikki doubted she would’ve had anything to drink if Trace had come to the bar last night.

That got her heart pumping faster and her eyes fully open.

Okay, maybe she was coming out of a blackout because that was the stupidest thought ever. She glanced around her room, spotted her phone where she’d left it to charge on the massive dresser and forced her feet to the floor. She had to squint at the screen in order to focus on the date. Yep, it was Saturday. Last time she’d seen Trace was Thursday when the blonde had chased after him.

Come to think of it, Nikki hadn’t seen the woman last night, either. Only the friend she’d come with two nights earlier. Which probably meant that she and Trace were…

No. She didn’t care what Trace was doing. She didn’t. Thinking about him at all would make her a fool. Or maybe it was a form of therapy…or avoidance…transference…something like that. She couldn’t think about Trace and Wallace at the same time. If she tried, Trace won.

Sometimes she missed the rinky-dink Houston community college that had been close enough to work that she could walk.

She’d loved studying psychology until she learned how much schooling it took to actually get a useful degree. It could’ve been fun and challenging but she was nothing if not realistic. Higher education required money. And that was something she’d never have to spare.

She set the phone down, lingering to touch the smooth oak.

Matt said the hand-carved dresser had been in the family for over a hundred years. She wondered if that meant it was an antique. Or just old. She never could figure out the difference. One thing she knew for sure, the obnoxiously big mirror mounted on the back was newer and really had to go if she stayed much longer.

Staring at the dark smudges under her eyes because she’d been too lazy to remove her makeup was not how she wanted to wake up. Her hair was a mess. She’d worn it in a ponytail last night rather than iron out the two stubborn kinks that had appeared as it dried on its own. And oh, yeah, they were still there.

Hearing voices, she turned to the window. She’d meant to close it when she got up. Now she could swear she heard Trace.

But he wouldn’t be here. He had too much to do at the Sundance, and besides, she doubted he’d step foot on Lone Wolf property. Not as long as Wallace owned it.

She shoved the curtain aside and yanked the cord to raise the closed blinds. Matt and Trace stood near the walkway below, talking, but her impatience with the blinds drew their attention.

Trace tipped his head back, and with his forefinger, pushed up the brim of his Stetson. With the sun shining on his tanned face, his green eyes seemed to sparkle. “Morning, sunshine,” he said, his mouth curving in a grin.

Nikki knew exactly what she looked like and her first instinct was to jump back and jerk the curtain closed. But giving in would only tell him she cared how he saw her. And that was so much worse. “God, can you be any louder? Some of us have to work at night.”

“Have to?” Matt lifted an eyebrow at her. Apparently he wasn’t in the best mood. He hated that she worked at the Watering Hole instead of adjusting to the ranch, though lately he hadn’t said much. “I’m pretty sure you could’ve gone to sleep earlier than four.”

Her heart sank. If he knew when she’d turned off her lamp, that probably meant he’d been up with Wallace. In fact, Matt looked drawn and tired. She was the worst sister in the whole world. How did he put up with her?

“Would y’all like some coffee?” Her neckline had slipped down her shoulder and she pulled the nightshirt back in place. “I’ll bring it out to you.”

“Sure.” Matt rubbed his eyes, then frowned. “No, that’s okay. I wasn’t thinking…Go back to bed.”

“I’m up. It’s no trouble.”

“I wouldn’t mind a cup.” Trace wasn’t smiling anymore but he was staring up at her.

Her nightshirt was made of thin yellow T-shirt fabric and she wasn’t wearing a bra. No, he wasn’t being obvious or horrible but he’d noticed all right. “Cream and sugar?” she asked, stepping backward.

“I like my women sweet, my coffee not so much.”

Nikki rolled her eyes and noticed Matt trying not to smile. “Is that your oh-so-charming way of saying no sugar?”

“You got it, darlin’.”

She hated when he called her that, and he knew it. The smile was back, and he might’ve winked, she wasn’t sure with the sun in his face. Very tempting to renege on the offer, go back to bed and let them get their own coffee. Oh, who was she kidding? She’d never go back to sleep knowing he was just outside. She only wished she knew why he was here.

“Okay, give me a few minutes.” She pulled the curtain closed and grabbed a pair of jeans she’d tossed on the blue upholstered chair last night.

It took her a minute to sift through her underwear drawer before she realized he wouldn’t actually see that her bra and panties matched. Sighing, she plucked a black thong from the pile along with the most unflattering white bra she owned. She found a clean red T-shirt, washed her face, brushed her teeth, then twisted her hair up and clipped it.

She hurried to the kitchen, still wondering what Trace was doing here. All she needed was for him to flirt with her like he did at the bar. She didn’t know how Matt would react. He liked Trace but Matt was protective of her and he’d seen how Trace behaved around the Sundance guests.

But then Trace already had kind of flirted with her earlier. Or maybe that was just how a guy teased his friend’s kid sister. In many ways, having a brother was still new to her. Little things surprised her, like how Matt worried that she drove home alone at midnight. It was that sort of reaction that made her realize Matt didn’t truly understand how she and her mom had lived. Because Nikki would feel a whole lot safer with a pack of coyotes than she’d felt in her old neighborhood.

Holding three mugs made it hard to open the front door. She managed, but pulling it closed was trickier. If only she had someplace to set down…

In seconds Trace was at her side. “I figured you went back to bed,” he said, closing the door and reaching for a mug. “Which one’s mine?”

“The blue.” She held it out to him.

He wrapped his hand around the cup, his warm fingers brushing against her knuckles. It had to be deliberate, the way he let the tips trail along the backs of her own fingers before he took the mug from her.