Beggars Bush: A Comedy

Snap. A Cove comes: Fumbumbis.Prig. To your postures; arm.Hub. Yonder's the Town: I see it.Hemsk. There's our dangerIndeed afore us, if our shadows save not.Hig. Bless your good Worships.Fer. One small piece of mony.Prig. Amongst us all poor wretches.Clau. Blind, and lame.Ginks. For his sake that gives all.Hig. Pitifull Worships.Snap. One little doyt.

Enter Jaculin.

Jac. King, by your leave, where are you?Fer. To buy a little bread.Hig. To feed so many Mouths, as will ever pray for you.Prig. Here be seven of us.Hig. Seven, good Master,O remember seven, Seven blessings.Fer. Remember, gentle Worship.Hig. 'Gainst seven deadly sins.Prig. And seven sleepers.Hig. If they be hard of heart, and will give nothing—Alas, we had not a charity this three dayes.Hub. There's amongst you all.Fer. Heaven reward you.Prig. Lord reward you.Hig. The Prince of pity bless thee.Hub. Do I see? or is't my fancy that would have it so?Ha? 'tis her face: come hither maid.Jac. What ha' you,Bells for my squirrel? I ha' giv'n bun meat,You do not love me, do you? catch me a butterfly,And I'le love you again; when? can you tell?Peace, we go a birding: I shall have a fine thing. [Exit.Hub. Her voyce too sayes the same; but for my headI would not that her manners were so chang'd.Hear me thou honest fellow; what's this maiden,That lives amongst you here?Gin. Ao, ao, ao, ao.Hub. How? nothing but signs?Gin. Ao, ao, ao, ao.Hub. This is strange, I would fain have it her, but not her thus.Hig. He is de-de-de-de-de-de-deaf, and du-du-dude-dumb Sir.Hub. Slid they did all speak plain ev'n now me thought.Do'st thou know this same maid?Snap. Why, why, why, why, which, gu, gu, gu, gu, Gods foolShe was bo-bo-bo-bo-born at the barn yonder,By-be-be-be-be-Beggars Bush-bo-bo-BushHer name is, My-my-my-my-my-match: so was her Mo-mo-mo-Mothers too-too.Hub. I understand no word he says; how longHas she been here?Snap. Lo-lo-long enough to be ni-ni-nigled, and she ha' go-go-go-good luck.Hub. I must be better inform'd, than by this way.Here was another face too, that I mark'dOf the old mans: but they are vanish'd allMost suddenly: I will come here again,O, that I were so happy, as to find it,What I yet hope: it is put on.Hem. What mean you Sir,To stay there with that stammerer?Hub. Farewell friend,—It will be worth return, to search: Come,Protect us our disguise now, pre'thee HemskirkIf we be taken, how do'st thou imagineThis town will use us, that hath stood so longOut against Wolfort?Hem. Ev'n to hang us forthUpon their walls a sunning, to make Crows meat,If I were not assur'd o' the Burgomaster,And had a pretty excuse to see a niece there,I should scarce venture.Hub. Come 'tis now too lateTo look back at the ports: good luck, and enter. [Exeunt.

SCENA II

Enter Goswin.

Gos. Still blow'st thou there? and from all other parts,Do all my agents sleep, that nothing comes?There's a conspiracy of windes, and servants,If not of Elements, to ha' me break;What should I think unless the Seas, and SandsHad swallow'd up my ships? or fire had spoil'dMy ware-houses? or death devour'd my Factors?I must ha' had some returns.

Enter Merchants.

1 Mer. 'Save you Sir.Gos. 'Save you.1 Mer. No news yet o' your Ships?Gos. Not any yet Sir.1 Mer. 'Tis strange. [Exit.Gos. 'Tis true Sir: what a voyce was here now?This was one passing bell, a thousand ravensSung in that man now, to presage my ruins.2 Mer. Goswin, good day, these winds are very constant.Gos. They are so Sir; to hurt—2 Mer. Ha' you had no letters Lately from England, nor from Denmark?Gos. Neither.2 Mer. This wind brings them; nor no news over land,Through Spain, from the Straights?Gos. Not any.2 Mer. I am sorry Sir. [Exit.Gos. They talk me down: and as 'tis said of VultursThey scent a field fought, and do smell the carkassesBy many hundred miles: So do these, my wracksAt greater distances. Why, thy will HeavenCome on, and be: yet if thou please, preserve me;But in my own adventure, here at home,Of my chast love, to keep me worthy of her,It shall be put in scale 'gainst all ill fortunes:I am not broken yet: nor should I fall,Me thinks with less than that, that ruins all. [Exit.

SCENA III

Enter Van-dunck, Hubert, Hemskirk, and Margaret, Boors.

Van. Captain, you are welcom; so is this your friendMost safely welcom, though our Town stand outAgainst your Master, you shall find good quarter:The troth is, we not love him: Margaret some wine,Let's talk a little treason, if we canTalk treason, 'gainst the traitors; by your leave, Gentlemen,We, here in Bruges, think he do's usurp,And therefore I am bold with him.Hub. Sir, your boldnessHappily becomes your mouth, but not our ears,While we are his servants; And as we come here,Not to ask questions, walk forth on your walls,Visit your courts of guard, view your munition,Ask of your corn-provisions, nor enquireInto the least, as spies upon your strengths,So let's entreat, we may receive from youNothing in passage or discourse, but whatWe may with gladness, and our honesties here,And that shall seal our welcom.Van. Good: let's drink then,Fill out, I keep mine old pearl still Captain.Marg. I hang fast man.Hen. Old Jewels commend their keeper, Sir.Van. Here's to you with a heart, my Captains friend,With a good heart, and if this make us speakBold words, anon, 'tis all under the RoseForgotten: drown all memory, when we drink.Hub. 'Tis freely spoken noble Burgomaster, I'le do you right.Hem. Nay Sir mine heer Van-dunckIs a true Statesman.Van. Fill my Captains cup there,O that your Master WolfortHad been an honest man.Hub. Sir?Van. Under the Rose.Hem. Here's to you Marget.Marg. Welcome, welcome Captain.Van. Well said my pearl still.Hem. And how does my Niece?Almost a Woman, I think? This friend of mine,I drew along w[i]th me, through so much hazard,Only to see her: she was my errand.Van. I, a kind Uncle you are (fill him his glass)That in seven years, could not find leisure—Hem. No, It's not so much.Van. I'le bate you ne'r an hour on't,It was before the Brabander 'gan his War,For moon-shine, i'the water there, his DaughterThat never was lost: yet you could not find timeTo see a Kinswoman; but she is worth the seeing, Sir,Now you are come, you ask if she were a Woman?She is a Woman, Sir, fetch her forth Marget. [Exit Marg.And a fine Woman, and has Suitors.Hem. How? What Suitors are they?Van. Bachellors; young Burgers:And one, a Gallant, the young Prince of MerchantsWe call him here in Bruges.Hem. How? a Merchant?I thought, Vandunke, you had understood me better,And my Niece too, so trusted to you by me,Than t'admit of such in name of Suitors.Van. Such? he is such a such, as were she mineI'd give him thirty thousand crowns with her.Hem. But the same things, Sir, fit not you and me. [Ex.Van. Why, give's some wine, then; this will fit us all:Here's to you still, my Captains friend: All out:And still, would Wolfort were an honest man,Under the Rose, I speak it: but this MerchantIs a brave boy: he lives so, i'the Town here,We know not what to think on him: at some timesWe fear he will be Bankrupt; he do's stretchTenter his credit so; embraces all,And to't, the winds have been contrary long.But then, if he should have all his returns,We think he would be a King, and are half sure on't.Your Master is a Traitor, for all this,Under the Rose: Here's to you; and usurpsThe Earldom from a better man.Hub. I marry, Sir, Where is that man?Van. Nay soft: and I could tell you'Tis ten to one I would not: here's my hand,I love not Wolfort: sit you still, with that:Here comes my Captain again, and his fine Niece,And there's my Merchant; view him well: fill wine here.

Enter Hemskirk, Gertrude, and Goswin.

Hem. You must not only know me for your UncleNow, but obey me: you, go cast your selfAway, upon a Dunghil here? a Merchant?A petty fellow? one that makes his TradeWith Oaths and perjuries?Gos. What is that you say, Sir?If it be me you speak of, as your eyeSeems to direct, I wish you would speak to me, Sir.Hem. Sir, I do say, she is no Merchandize,Will that suffice you?Gos. Merchandize good Sir?Though ye be Kinsman to her, take no leave thenceTo use me with contempt: I ever thoughtYour Niece above all price.Hem. And do so still, Sir, I assure you, her rates are more than you are worth.Gos. You do not know, what a Gentleman's worth, Sir,Nor can you value him.H[u]b. Well said Merchant.Van. Nay, Let him alone, and ply your matter.Hem. A Gentleman?What o'the Wool-pack? or the Sugar-chest?Or lists of Velvet? which is't pound, or yard,You vent your Gentry by?Hub. O Hemskirk, fye.Van. Come, do not mind 'em, drink, he is no Wolfort, Captain, I advise you.Hem. Alas, my pretty man,I think't be angry, by its look: Come hither,Turn this way, a little: if it were the bloodOf Charlemaine, as't may (for ought I know)Be some good Botchers issue, here in Bruges.Gos. How?Hem. Nay: I'me not certain of that; of this I am,If it once buy, and sell, its Gentry is gone.Gos. Ha, ha.Hem. You are angry, though ye laugh.Gos. No, now 'tis pityOf your poor argument. Do not you, the LordsOf Land (if you be any) sell the grass,The Corn, the Straw, the Milk, the Cheese?Van. And Butter: Remember Butter; do not leave out Butter.Gos. The Beefs and Muttons that your grounds are stor'd with?Swine, with the very mast, beside the Woods?Hem. No, for those sordid uses we have Tenants,Or else our Bailiffs.Gos. Have not we, Sir, Chap-men,And Factors, then to answer these? your honourFetch'd from the Heralds ABC, and said overWith your Court faces, once an hour, shall neverMake me mistake my self. Do not your LawyersSell all their practice, as your Priests their prayers?What is not bought, and sold? The companyThat you had last, what had you for't, i'faith?Hem. You now grow sawcy.Gos. Sure I have been bredStill, with my honest liberty, and must use it.Hem. Upon your equals then.Gos. Sir, he that will Provoke me first, doth make himself my equal.Hem. Do ye hear? no more.Gos. Yes, Sir, this little, I pray you,And't shall be aside, then after, as you please.You appear the Uncle, Sir, to her I loveMore than mine eyes; and I have heard your scornsWith so much scoffing, and so much shame,As each strive which is greater: But, believe me,I suck'd not in this patience with my milk.Do not presume, because you see me young,Or cast despights on my professionFor the civility and tameness of it.A good man bears a contumely worseThan he would do an injury. Proceed notTo my offence: wrong is not still successful,Indeed it is not: I would approach your Kins-womanWith all respect, done to your self and her.Hem. Away Companion: handling her? take that. [Strikes him.Gos. Nay, I do love no blows, Sir, there's exchange.Hub. Hold, Sir. (He gets Hemskirks sword and cuts him on the head.Mar. O murther.Ger. Help my Goswin.Mar. Man.Van. Let 'em alone; my life for one.Gos. Nay come, If you have will.Hub. None to offend you, I, Sir.Gos. He that had, thank himself: not hand her? yes Sir,And clasp her, and embrace her; and (would sheNow go with me) bear her through all her Race,Her Father, Brethren, and her Uncles, arm'd,And all their Nephews, though they stood a woodOf Pikes, and wall of Canon: kiss me Gertrude,Quake not, but kiss me.Van. Kiss him, Girl, I bid you;My Merchant Royal; fear no Uncles: hang 'em,Hang up all Uncles: Are not we in Bruges?Under the Rose here?Gos. In this circle, Love,Thou art as safe, as in a Tower of Brass;Let such as do wrong, fear.Van. I, that's good, Let Wolfort look to that.Gos. Sir, here she stands,Your Niece, and my beloved. One of these titlesShe must apply to; if unto the last,Not all the anger can be sent unto her,In frown, or voyce, or other art, shall force her,Had Hercules a hand in't: Come, my Joy,Say thou art mine, aloud Love, and profess it.Van. Doe: and I drink to it.Gos. Prethee say so, Love.Ger. 'Twould take away the honour from my blushes:Do not you play the tyrant, sweet: they speak it.Hem. I thank you niece.Gos. Sir, thank her for your life,And fetch your sword within.Hem. You insult too muchWith your good fortune, Sir. [Exeunt Gos. and Ger.Hub. A brave clear Spirit; Hemskirk, you were to blame: a civil habitOft covers a good man: and you may meetIn person of a Merchant, with a soulAs resolute, and free, and all wayes worthy,As else in any file of man-kind: pray you,What meant you so to slight him?Hem. 'Tis done now,Ask no more of it; I must suffer. [Exit Hemskirk.Hub. ThisIs still the punishment of rashness, sorrow.Well; I must to the woods, for nothing hereWill be got out. There, I may chance to learnSomewhat to help my enquiries further.Van. Ha? A Looking-glass?Hub. How now, brave Burgomaster?Van. I love no Wolforts, and my name's Vandunk,Hub. Van drunk it's rather: come, go sleep within.Van. Earl Florez is right heir, and this same WolfortUnder the Rose I speak it—Hub. Very hardly.Van-d. Usurps: and a rank Traitor, as ever breath'd,And all that do uphold him. Let me goe,No man shall hold me, that upholds him;Do you uphold him?Hub. No.Van. Then hold me up. [Exeunt.

Enter Goswin, and Hemskirk.

Hem. Sir, I presume, you have a sword of your own,That can so handle anothers.Gos. Faith you may Sir.Hem. And ye have made me have so much better thoughts of youAs I am bound to call you forth.Gos. For what Sir?Hem. To the repairing of mine honour, and hurt here.Gos. Express your way.Hem. By fight, and speedily.Gos. You have your will: Require you any more?Hem. That you be secret: and come single.Gos. I will.Hem. As you are the Gentleman you would be thought.Gos. Without the Conjuration: and I'le bringOnly my sword, which I will fit to yours,I'le take his length within.Hem. Your place now Sir?Gos. By the Sand-hills.Hem. Sir, nearer to the woods,If you thought so, were fitter.Gos. There, then.Hem. Good. Your time?Gos. 'Twixt seven and eight.Hem. You'l give me SirCause to report you worthy of my Niece,If you come, like your promise.Gos. If I do not, Let no man think to call me unworthy first,I'le do't my self, and justly wish to want her.– [Exeunt.

ACTUS TERTIUS. SCENA PRIMA

Enter three or four Boors.

1 B. Come, English beer Hostess, English beer by th' belly.2 B. Stark beer boy, stout and strong beer: so, sit down Lads,And drink me upsey-Dutch: Frolick, and fear not.

Enter Higgen like a Sow-gelder, singing.

Hig. Have ye any work for the Sow-gelder, hoa,My horn goes too high too low, too high too low.Have ye any Piggs, Calves, or Colts,Have ye any Lambs in your holtsTo cut for the Stone,Here comes a cunning one.Have ye any braches to spade,Or e're a fair maidThat would be a Nun,Come kiss me, 'tis done.Hark how my merry horn doth blow,Too high too low, too high too low.1 B. O excellent! two-pence a piece boyes, two-pence a piece. Give the boys some drink there. Piper, wet your whistle, Canst tell me a way now, how to cut off my wifes Concupiscence?Hig. I'le sing ye a Song for't. The SONGTake her, and hug her,And turn her and tug her,And turn her again boy, again,Then if she mumble,Or if her tail tumble,Kiss her amain hoy, amain.Do thy endeavour,To take off her feaver,Then her disease no longer will raign.If nothing will serve her,Then thus to preserve her,Swinge her amain boy amain.Give her cold jellyTo take up her belly,And once a day swinge her again,If she stand all these pains,Then knock out her brains,Her disease no longer will reign.1 Bo. More excellent, more excellent, sweet Sow-gelder.2 Bo. Three-pence a piece, three-pence a piece.Hig. Will you hear a Song how the Devil was gelded?3 Bo. I, I, let's hear the Devil roar, Sow-gelder.SONG             1.He ran at me first in the shape of a Ram,And over and over the Sow-Gelder came;I rise and I halter'd him fast by the horn,I pluckt out his Stones as you'd pick out a Corn.Baa, quoth the Devil, and forth he slunk,And left us a Carcase of Mutton that stunk.             2.The next time I rode a good mile and a half,Where I heard he did live in disguise of a Calf,I bound and I gelt him, ere he did any evil;He was here at his best, but a sucking Devil.Maa, yet he cry'd, and forth he did steal,And this was sold after, for excellent Veal.             3.Some half a year after in the form of a Pig,I met with the Rogue, and he look'd very big;I catch'd at his leg, laid him down on a log,Ere a man could fart twice, I had made him a Hog.Owgh, quoth the Devil, and forth gave a Jerk,That a Jew was converted, and eat of the Perk._1 Bo. Groats apiece, Groats apiece, Groats apiece, There sweet Sow-Gelder.

Enter Prig and Ferret.

Prig. Will ye see any feats of activity,Some Sleight of hand, Legerdemain? hey pass, Presto, be gone there?2 Bo. Sit down Jugler.Prig. Sirrah, play you your art well; draw near Piper:Look you, my honest friends, you see my hands;Plain dealing is no Devil: lend me some Money,Twelve-pence a piece will serve.1. 2. B. There, there.Prig. I thank you,Thank ye heartily: when shall I pay ye?All B. Ha, ha, ha, by th' Mass this was a fine trick.Prig. A merry sleight toy: but now I'll show yourWorships A trick indeed.Hig. Mark him well now my Masters.Prig. Here are three balls,These balls shall be three bullets,One, two, and three: ascentibus, malentibus.Presto, be gone: they are vanish'd: fair play, Gentlemen.Now these three, like three Bullets, from your three NosesWill I pluck presently: fear not, no harm Boys,

Titere, tu patule.

1 B. Oh, oh, oh.Prig. Recubans sub jermlne fagi.2 B. Ye pull too hard; ye pull too hard.Prig. Stand fair then: Silvertramtrim-tram.3 B. Hold, hold, hold.Prig. Come aloft, bullets three, with a whim-wham. Have ye their Moneys?Hig. Yes, yes.1 B. Oh rare Jugler!2 B. Oh admirable Jugler!Prig. One trick more yet;Hey, come aloft; sa, sa, flim, flum, taradumbis?East, West, North, South, now fly like Jack with a bumbis.Now all your money's gone; pray search your pockets.1 B. Humh.2 B. He.3 B. The Devil a penny's here!Prig. This was a rare trick.1 B. But 'twould be a far rarer to restore it.Prig. I'll do ye that too; look upon me earnestly,And move not any ways your eyes from this place,This Button here? pow, whir, whiss, shake your pockets.1 B. By th' Mass 'tis here again, boys.Prig. Rest ye merry; My first trick has paid me.All B. I, take it, take it, And take some drink too.Prig. Not a drop now I thank you; Away, we are discover'd else. [Exit.

Enter Gerrard like a blind Aqua vitae man, and a Boy, singing the Song.

Bring out your Cony-skins, fair maids to me,And hold 'em fair that I may see;Grey, black, and blue: for your smaller skins,I'll give ye looking-glasses, pins:And for your whole Coney, here's ready, ready Money.Come Gentle Jone, do thou beginWith thy black, black, black Coney-skin.And Mary then, and Jane will follow,With their silver hair'd skins, and their yellow.The white Cony-skin, I will not lay by,For though it be faint, 'tis fair to the eye;The grey, it is warm, but yet for my Money,Give me the bonny, bonny black Cony.Come away fair Maids, your skins will decay:Come, and take money, maids, put your ware away.Cony-skins, Cony-skins, have ye any Cony-skins,I have fine bracelets, and fine silver pins.Ger. Buy any Brand Wine, buy any Brand Wine?Boy. Have ye any Cony-skins?2 [B.] My fine Canary-bird, there's a Cake for thy Worship.1 B. Come fill, fill, fill, fill suddenly: let's see Sir, What's this?Ger. A penny, Sir.1 B. Fill till't be six-pence,And there's my Pig.Boy. This is a Counter, Sir.1 B. A Counter! stay ye, what are these then?O execrable Jugler! O dama'd Jugler!Look in your hose, hoa, this comes of looking forward.3 B. Devil a Dunkirk! what a Rogue's this Jugler!This hey pass, repass, h'as repast us sweetly.2 B. Do ye call these tricks.

Enter Higgen.

Hig. Have ye any Ends of Gold, or Silver?2 B. This Fellow comes to mock us; Gold or Silver? cry Copper.1 B. Yes, my good Friend, We have e'n an end of all we have.Hig. 'Tis well Sir, You have the less to care for: Gold and Silver. [Exit.

Enter Prigg.

Pr. Have ye any old Cloaks to sell, have ye any old Cloaks to sell? [Exit.1 B. Cloaks! Look about ye Boys: mine's gone!2 B. A – juggle 'em? – O they're Prestoes: mine's gone too!3 B. Here's mine yet.1 B. Come, come let's drink then more Brand Wine.Boy. Here Sir.1 B. If e'r I catch your Sow-gelder, by this hand I'll strip him:Were ever Fools so ferkt? We have two Cloaks yet;And all our Caps; the Devil take the Flincher.All B. Yaw, yaw, yaw, yaw.

Enter Hemskirk.

Hem. Good do'n my honest Fellows,You are merry here I see.3 B. 'Tis all we have left, Sir.Hem. What hast thou? Aqua vitae?Boy. Yes.Hem. Fill out then;And give these honest Fellows round.All B. We thank ye.Hem. May I speak a word in private to ye?All B. Yes Sir.Hem. I have a business for you, honest Friends,If you dare lend your help, shall get you crowns.Ger. Ha! Lead me a little nearer, Boy.1 B. What is't Sir? If it be any thing to purchase money,Which is our want, [command] us.Boors. All, all, all, Sir.Hem. You know the young spruce Merchant in Bruges?2 B. Who? Master Goswin?Hem. That he owes me money,And here in town there is no stirring of him.Ger. Say ye so?Hem. This day, upon a sure appointment,He meets me a mile hence, by the Chase side,Under the row of Oaks; do you know it?All B. Yes Sir.Hem. Give 'em more drink: there if you dare but ventureWhen I shall give the word to seize upon him Here's twenty pound.3 B. Beware the Jugler.Hem. If he resist, down with him, have no mercy.1 B. I warrant you, we'll hamper him.Hem. To discharge you, I have a Warrant here about me.3 B. Here's our Warrant,This carries fire i'th' Tail.Hem. Away with me then,The time draws on,I must remove so insolent a Suitor,And if he be so rich, make him pay ransomeEre he see Bruges Towers again. Thus wise menRepair the hurts they take by a disgrace,And piece the Lions skin with the Foxes case.Ger. I am glad I have heard this sport yet.Hem. There's for thy drink, come pay the house within Boys,And lose no time.Ger. Away with all our haste too. [Exeunt.