A King, and No King

Francis Beaumont

A King, and No King

Persons Represented in the Play

Arbaces, King of Iberia.

Tigranes, King of Armenia.

Gobrias, Lord Protector, and Father of Arbaces.

Bacurius, another Lord.

Mardonius.)

Bessus, ) Two Captains

Ligo[n]es, Father of Spaconia.

Two Gentlemen.

Three Men and a Woman.

Philip, a servant, and two Citizens Wives.

A Messenger.

A Servant to Bacurius.

Two Sword-men.

A Boy.

Arane, ) The [Queen-Mother.

Panthea,) Her Daughter.

Spaconia,) A Lady Daughter of Ligones

Mandane,) A waiting woman, and other attendants.

* * * * *

Actus primus. Scena prima

* * * * *

Enter Mardonius and Bessus, Two Captains.

Mar.

Bessus, the King has made a fair hand on't, he has ended the Wars at a blow, would my sword had a close basket hilt to hold Wine, and the blade would make knives, for we shall have nothing but eating and drinking.

Bes.

We that are Commanders shall do well enough.

Mar.

Faith Bessus, such Commanders as thou may; I had as lieve set thee Perdue for a pudding i'th' dark, as Alexander the Great.

Bes.

I love these jests exceedingly.

Mar.

I think thou lov'st 'em better than quarrelling Bessus, I'le say so much i'thy behalf, and yet thou 'rt valiant enough upon a retreat, I think thou wouldst kill any man that stopt thee if thou couldst.

Bes.

But was not this a brave Combate Mardonius?

Mar.

Why, didst thou see't?

Bes.

You stood wi'me.

Mar.

I did so, but me thought thou wink'dst every blow they strook.

Bes.

Well, I believe there are better souldiers than I, that never saw two Princes fight in lists.

Mar.

By my troth I think so too Bessus, many a thousand, but certainly all that are worse than thou have seen as much.

Bes.

'Twas bravely done of our King.

Mar.

Yes, if he had not ended the wars: I'me glad thou dar'st talk of such dangerous businesses.

Bes.

To take a Prince prisoner in the heart of's own Country in single combat.

Mar.

See how thy blood curdles at this, I think thou couldst be contented to be beaten i'this passion.

Bes.

Shall I tell you truly?

Mar.

I.

Bes.

I could willingly venture for't.

Mar.

Um, no venture neither Bessus.

Bes.

Let me not live, if I do not think 'tis a braver piece of service than that I'me so fam'd for.

Mar.

Why, art thou fam'd for any valour?

Bes.

Fam'd! I, I warrant you.

Mar.

I'me e'en heartily glad on't, I have been with thee e're since thou cam'st to th'wars, and this is the first word that ever I heard on't, prethee who fames thee.

Bes.

The Christian world.

Mar.

'Tis heathenishly done of'em in my conscience, thou deserv'st it not.

Bes.

Yes, I ha' don good service.

Mar.

I do not know how thou mayst wait of a man in's Chamber, or thy agility of shifting of a Trencher, but otherwise no service good Bessus.

Bes.

You saw me do the service your self.

Mar.

Not so hasty sweet Bessus, where was it, is the place vanish'd?

Bes.

At Bessus desp'rate redemption.

Mar.

At Bessus desp'rate redemption, where's that?

Bes.

There where I redeem'd the day, the place bears my name.

Mar.

Pray thee, who Christened it?

Bes.

The Souldiers.

Mar.

If I were not a very merrily dispos'd man, what would become of thee? one that had but a grain of choler in the whole composition of his body, would send thee of an errand to the worms for putting thy name upon that field: did not I beat thee there i'th' head o'th' Troops with a Trunchion, because thou wouldst needs run away with thy company, when we should charge the enemy?

Bes.

True, but I did not run.

Mar.

Right Bessus, I beat thee out on't.

Bes.

But came I not up when the day was gone, and redeem'd all?

Mar.

Thou knowest, and so do I, thou meanedst to flie, and thy fear making thee mistake, thou ranst upon the enemy, and a hot charge thou gav'st, as I'le do thee right, thou art furious in running away, and I think, we owe thy fear for our victory; If I were the King, and were sure thou wouldst mistake alwaies and run away upon th' enemy, thou shouldst be General by this light.

Bes.

You'l never leave this till I fall foul.

Mar.

No more such words dear Bessus, for though I have ever known thee a coward, and therefore durst never strike thee, yet if thou proceedest, I will allow thee valiant, and beat thee.

Bes.

Come, our King's a brave fellow.

Mar.

He is so Bessus, I wonder how thou cam'st to know it. But if thou wer't a man of understanding, I would tell thee, he is vain-glorious, and humble, and angry, and patient, and merry and dull, and joyful and sorrowful in extremity in an hour: Do not think me thy friend for this, for if I ear'd who knew it, thou shouldst not hear it Bessus. Here he is with his prey in his foot.

Enter &c. Senet Flourish.

Enter Arbaces and Tigranes, Two Kings and two Gentlemen.

Arb.Thy sadness brave Tigranes takes awayFrom my full victory, am I becomeOf so small fame, that any man should grieveWhen I o'recome him? They that plac'd me here,Intended it an honour large enough, (though heFor the most valiant living, but to dare oppose me single,Lost the day. What should afflict you, you are as free as I,To be my prisoner, is to be more freeThan you were formerly, and never thinkThe man I held worthy to combate meShall be us'd servilely: Thy ransom isTo take my only Sister to thy Wife.A heavy one Tigranes, for she isA Lady, that the neighbour Princes sendBlanks to fetch home. I have been too unkindTo her Tigranes, she but nine years oldI left her, and ne're saw her since, your warsHave held me long and taught me though a youth,The way to victory, she was a pretty child,Then I was little better, but now fameCries loudly on her, and my messengersMake me believe she is a miracle;She'l make you shrink, as I did, with a stroakBut of her eye Tigranes.Tigr.Is't the course of Iberia to use their prisoners thus?Had fortune thrown my name above Arbace,I should not thus have talk'd Sir, in ArmeniaWe hold it base, you should have kept your temperTill you saw home again, where 'tis the fashionPerhaps to brag.Arb.Be you my witness earth, need I to brag,Doth not this captive Prince speakMe sufficiently, and all the actsThat I have wrought upon his suffering Land;Should I then boast! where lies that foot of groundWithin his whole Realm, that I have not past,Fighting and conquering; Far then from meBe ostentation. I could tell the worldHow I have laid his Kingdom desolateBy this sole Arm prop't by divinity,Stript him out of his glories, and have sentThe pride of all his youth to people graves,And made his Virgins languish for their Loves,If I would brag, should I that have the powerTo teach the Neighbour world humility,Mix with vain-glory?

Mar.

Indeed this is none.

Arb.

Tigranes, Nay did I but take delight To stretch my deeds as others do, on words, I could amaze my hearers.

Mar.

So you do.

Arb.But he shall wrong his and my modesty,That thinks me apt to boast after any actFit for a good man to do upon his foe.A little glory in a souldiers mouthIs well-becoming, be it far from vain.Mar.'Tis pity that valour should be thus drunk.Arb.I offer you my Sister, and you answerI do insult, a Lady that no suiteNor treasure, nor thy Crown could purchase thee,But that thou fought'st with me.Tigr.Though this be worseThan that you spake before, it strikes me not;But that you think to overgrace me withThe marriage of your Sister, troubles me.I would give worlds for ransoms were they mine,Rather than have her.Arb.See if I insultThat am the Conquerour, and for a ransomOffer rich treasure to the Conquered,Which he refuses, and I bear his scorn:It cannot be self-flattery to say,The Daughters of your Country set by her,Would see their shame, run home and blush to death,At their own foulness; yet she is not fair,Nor beautiful, those words express her not,They say her looks have something excellent,That wants a name: yet were she odious,Her birth deserves the Empire of the world,Sister to such a brother, that hath ta'neVictory prisoner, and throughout the earth,Carries her bound, and should he let her loose,She durst not leave him; Nature did her wrong,To Print continual conquest on her cheeks,And make no man worthy for her to tasteBut me that am too near her, and as strangelyShe did for me, but you will think I brag.

Mar.

I do I'le be sworn. Thy valour and thy passions sever'd, would have made two excellent fellows in their kinds: I know not whether I should be sorry thou art so valiant, or so passionate, wou'd one of 'em were away.

Tigr.Do I refuse her that I doubt her worth?Were she as vertuous as she would be thought,So perfect that no one of her own sexCould find a want, had she so tempting fair,That she could wish it off for damning souls,I would pay any ransom, twenty livesRather than meet her married in my bed.Perhaps I have a love, where I have fixtMine eyes not to be mov'd, and she on me,I am not fickle.Arb.Is that all the cause?Think you, you can so knit your self in loveTo any other, that her searching sightCannot dissolve it? So before you tri'd,You thought your self a match for me in [f]ight,Trust me Tigranes, she can do as muchIn peace, as I in war, she'l conquer too,You shall see if you have the power to standThe force of her swift looks, if you dislike,I'le send you home with love, and name your ransomSome other way, but if she be your choice,She frees you: To Iberia you must.Tigr.Sir, I have learn'd a prisoners sufferance,And will obey, but give me leave to talkIn private with some friends before I go.Arb.Some to await him forth, and see him safe,But let him freely send for whom he please,And none dare to disturb his conference,I will not have him know what bondage is,[Exit Tigranes.Till he be free from me. This Prince, Mardonius,Is full of wisdom, valour, all the gracesMan can receive.Mar.And yet you conquer'd him.Arb.And yet I conquer'd him, and could have don'tHadst thou joyn'd with him, though thy name in ArmsBe great; must all men that are vertuousThink suddenly to match themselves with me?I conquered him and bravely, did I not?

Bes.

And please your Majesty, I was afraid at first.

Mar.

When wert thou other?

Arb.

Of what?

Bes.

That you would not have spy'd your best advantages, for your Majesty in my opinion lay too high, methinks, under favour, you should have lain thus.

Mar.

Like a Taylor at a wake.

Bes.

And then, if please your Majesty to remember, at one time, by my troth I wisht my self wi'you.

Mar.

By my troth thou wouldst ha' stunk 'em both out o'th' Lists.

Arb.

What to do?

Bes.

To put your Majesty in mind of an occasion; you lay thus, and Tigranes falsified a blow at your Leg, which you by doing thus avoided; but if you had whip'd up your Leg thus, and reach'd him on the ear, you had made the Blood-Royal run down his head.

Mar.

What Country Fence-school learn'st thou at?

Arb.

Pish, did not I take him nobly?

Mar.

Why you did, and you have talked enough on't.

Arb.Talkt enough?Will you confine my word? by heaven and earth,I were much better be a King of beastsThan such a people: if I had not patienceAbove a God, I should be call'd a TyrantThroughout the world. They will offend to deathEach minute: Let me hear thee speak again,And thou art earth again: why this is likeTigranes speech that needs would say I brag'd.Bessus, he said I brag'd.

Bes.

Ha, ha, ha.

Arb.Why dost thou laugh?By all the world, I'm grown ridiculousTo my own Subjects: Tie me in a ChairAnd jest at me, but I shall make a start,And punish some that others may take heedHow they are haughty; who will answer me?He said I boasted, speak Mardonius,Did I? He will not answer, O my temper!I give you thanks above, that taught my heartPatience, I can endure his silence; what will noneVouchsafe to give me answer? am I grownTo such a poor respect, or do you meanTo break my wind? Speak, speak, some one of you,Or else by heaven.

1 Gent.

So please your.

Arb.Monstrous,I cannot be heard out, they cut me off,As if I were too saucy, I will liveIn woods, and talk to trees, they will allow meTo end what I begin. The meanest SubjectCan find a freedom to discharge his soulAnd not I, now it is a time to speak,I hearken.

1 Gent.

May it please.

Arb.I mean not you,Did not I stop you once? but I am grownTo balk, but I defie, let another speak.

2 Gent.

I hope your Majesty.

Arb.Thou drawest thy words,That I must wait an hour, where other menCan hear in instants; throw your words away,Quick, and to purpose, I have told you this.

Bes.

And please your Majesty.

Arb.Wilt thou devour me? this is such a rudenessAs you never shew'd me, and I wantPower to command too, else MardoniusWould speak at my request; were you my King,I would have answered at your word Mardonius,I pray you speak, and truely, did I boast?

Mar.

Truth will offend you.

Arb.You take all great care what will offend me,When you dare to utter such things as these.Mar.You told Tigranes, you had won his Land,With that sole arm propt by Divinity:Was not that bragging, and a wrong to us,That daily ventured lives?Arb.O that thy nameWere as great, as mine, would I had paid my wealth,It were as great, as I might combate thee,I would through all the Regions habitableSearch thee, and having found thee, wi'my SwordDrive thee about the world, till I had metSome place that yet mans curiosityHath mist of; there, there would I strike thee dead:Forgotten of mankind, such Funeral ritesAs beasts would give thee, thou shouldst have.

Bes.

The King rages extreamly, shall we slink away? He'l strike us.

2 Gent.

Content.

Arb.There I would make you know 'twas this sole arm.I grant you were my instruments, and didAs I commanded you, but 'twas this armMov'd you like wheels, it mov'd you as it pleas'd.Whither slip you now? what are you too goodTo wait on me (puffe,) I had need have temperThat rule such people; I have nothing leftAt my own choice, I would I might be private:Mean men enjoy themselves, but 'tis our curse,To have a tumult that out of their lovesWill wait on us, whether we will or no;Go get you gone: Why here they stand like death,My words move nothing.

1 Gent.

Must we go?

Bes. I know not.

Arb.I pray you leave me Sirs, I'me proud of this,That you will be intreated from my sight:Why now the[y] leave me all: Mardonius.

[Exeunt all but Arb. and Mar.

Mar.

Sir.

Arb.Will you leave me quite alone? me thinksCivility should teach you more than this,If I were but your friend: Stay here and wait.

Mar.

Sir shall I speak?

Arb.Why, you would now think muchTo be denied, but I can scar[c]e intreatWhat I would have: do, speak.

Mar.

But will you hear me out?

Arb.With me you Article to talk thus: well,I will hear you out.

Mar.

Sir, that I have ever lov'd you, my sword hath spoken for me; that I do, if it be doubted, I dare call an oath, a great one to my witness; and were you not my King, from amongst men, I should have chose you out to love above the rest: nor can this challenge thanks, for my own sake I should have done it, because I would have lov'd the most deserving man, for so you are.

Arb.Alas Mardonius, rise you shall not kneel,We all are souldiers, and all venture lives:And where there is no difference in mens worths,Titles are jests, who can outvalue thee?Mardonius thou hast lov'd me, and hast wrong,Thy love is not rewarded, but believeIt shall be better, more than friend in arms,My Father, and my Tutor, good Mardonius.

Mar.

Sir, you did promise you would hear me out.

Arb.And so I will; speak freely, for from theeNothing can come but worthy things and true.Mar.Though you have all this worth, you hold some qualities that doEclipse your vertues.

Arb.

Eclipse my vertues?

Mar.

Yes, your passions, which are so manifold, that they appear even in this: when I commend you, you hug me for that truth: but when I speak your faults, you make a start, and flie the hearing but.

Arb.

When you commend me? O that I should live To need such commendations: If my deeds Blew not my praise themselves about the earth, I were most wretched: spare your idle praise: If thou didst mean to flatter, and shouldst utter Words in my praise, that thou thoughtst impudence, My deeds should make 'em modest: when you praise I hug you? 'tis so [false], that wert thou worthy thou shouldst receive a death, a glorious death from me: but thou shalt understand thy lies, for shouldst thou praise me into Heaven, and there leave me inthron'd, I would despise thee though as much as now, which is as much as dust because I see thy envie.

Mar.

However you will use me after, yet for your own promise sake, hear me the rest.

Arb.

I will, and after call unto the winds, for they shall lend as large an ear as I to what you utter: speak.

Mar.

Would you but leave these hasty tempers, which I do not say take from you all your worth, but darken 'em, then you will shine indeed.

Arb.

Well.

Mar.

Yet I would have you keep some passions, lest men should take you for a God, your vertues are such.

Arb.

Why now you flatter.

Mar.

I never understood the word, were you no King, and free from these moods, should I choose a companion for wit and pleasure, it should be you; or for honesty to enterchange my bosom with, it should be you; or wisdom to give me counsel, I would pick out you; or valour to defend my reputation, still I should find you out; for you are fit to fight for all the world, if it could come in question: Now I have spoke, consider to your self, find out a use; if so, then what shall fall to me is not material.

Arb.

Is not material? more than ten such lives, as mine, Mardonius: it was nobly said, thou hast spoke truth, and boldly such a truth as might offend another. I have been too passionate and idle, thou shalt see a swift amendment, but I want those parts you praise me for: I fight for all the world? Give me a sword, and thou wilt go as far beyond me, as thou art beyond in years, I know thou dar'st and wilt; it troubles me that I should use so rough a phrase to thee, impute it to my folly, what thou wilt, so thou wilt par[d]on me: that thou and I should differ thus!

Mar.

Why 'tis no matter Sir.

Arb.

Faith but it is, but thou dost ever take all things I do, thus patiently, for which I never can requite thee, but with love, and that thou shalt be sure of. Thou and I have not been merry lately: pray thee tell me where hadst thou that same jewel in thine ear?

Mar.

Why at the taking of a Town.

Arb.

A wench upon my life, a wench Mardonius gave thee that jewel.

Mar.

Wench! they respect not me, I'm old and rough, and every limb about me, but that which should, grows stiffer, I'those businesses I may swear I am truly honest: for I pay justly for what I take, and would be glad to be at a certainty.

Arb.

Why, do the wenches encroach upon thee?

Mar.

I by this light do they.

Arb.

Didst thou sit at an old rent with 'em?

Mar.

Yes faith.

Arb.

And do they improve themselves?

Mar.

I ten shillings to me, every new young fellow they come acquainted with.

Arb.

How canst live on't?

Mar.

Why I think I must petition to you.

Arb.

Thou shalt take them up at my price.

Enter two Gentlemen and Bessus.

Mar.

Your price?

Arb.

I at the Kings price.

Mar.

That may be more than I'me worth.

2 Gent.

Is he not merry now?

1 Gent.

I think not.

Bes.

He is, he is: we'l shew our selves.

Arb.

Bessus, I thought you had been in Iberia by this, I bad you hast; Gobrias will want entertainment for me.

Bes.

And please your Majesty I have a sute.

Arb.

Is't not lousie Bessus, what is't?

Bes.

I am to carry a Lady with me.

Arb.

Then thou hast two sutes.

Bes.And if I can prefer her to the Lady Pentha your MajestiesSister, to learn fashions, as her friends term it, it will beworth something to me.

Arb.

So many nights lodgings as 'tis thither, wilt not?

Bes.

I know not that Sir, but gold I shall be sure of.

Arb.

Why thou shalt bid her entertain her from me, so thou wilt resolve me one thing.

Bes.

If I can.

Arb.

Faith 'tis a very disputable question, and yet I think thou canst decide it.

Bes.

Your Majesty has a good opinion of my understanding.

Arb.

I have so good an opinion of it: 'tis whether thou be valiant.

Bes.

Some body has traduced me to you: do you see this sword Sir?

Arb.

Yes.

Bes.

If I do not make my back-biters eat it to a knife within this week, say I am not valiant.

Enter a Messenger.

Mes.

Health to your Majesty.

Arb.

From Gobrias?

Mes.

Yes Sir.

Arb.

How does he, is he well?

Mes.

In perfect health.

Arb.

Take that for thy good news. A trustier servant to his Prince there lives not, than is good Gobrias.

1 Gent.

The King starts back.

Mar.

His blood goes back as fast.

2 Gent. And now it comes again.

Mar.

He alters strangely.

Arb.

The hand of Heaven is on me, be it far from me to struggle, if my secret sins have pull'd this curse upon me, lend me tears now to wash me white, that I may feel a child-like innocence within my breast; which once perform'd, O give me leave to stand as fix'd as constancy her self, my eyes set here unmov'd, regardless of the world though thousand miseries incompass me.

Mar.

This is strange, Sir, how do you?

Arb.

Mardonius, my mother.

Mar.

Is she dead?

Arb.

Alas she's not so happy, thou dost know how she hath laboured since my Father died to take by treason hence this loathed life, that would but be to serve her, I have pardoned, and pardoned, and by that have made her fit to practise new sins, not repent the old: she now had stirr'd a slave to come from thence, and strike me here, whom Gobrias sifting out, took and condemn'd and executed there, the carefulst servant: Heaven let me but live to pay that man; Nature is poor to me, that will not let me have as many deaths as are the times that he hath say'd my life, that I might dye 'em over all for him.