The Prison Doctor: Women Inside

‘But I couldn’t just turn my back on them and say I wasn’t going to look after them.

‘The boys were only five at the time. When their mum was sent away, I picked them up from school and they came back with me. We felt invisible. I went from being their nan to their parents but there was no way they were going to go into care. They are my grandsons; I was determined that was not going to happen. Heaven forbid.’

We started walking slowly towards the entrance where the Visitors’ Centre is located next to the staff entrance.

‘How are they doing? Are you coping okay?’ I asked.

‘They’re alright on the whole I suppose, but they have definitely been affected. I know, deep down, they’re hurting. I try to reassure them as much as I can. At first, I wasn’t sure how much to tell them, and just told them that their mum still loves them but she had to go away for making a mistake. They’re a bit older now, so I try to be honest with them about what’s happening and why. But I’m never sure whether it’s too much or too little. I mean, I’m no professional.’

Many women have told me that they simply do not tell their kids they are in prison. They weave elaborate stories about being in hospital, working away from home, or joining the Army. One 63-year-old resident told me that she had told her five-year-old granddaughter that she was in Wales painting a castle for the next six months.

‘It’s just easier that way,’ they say to me. ‘No need for them to deal with the reality. It’s all very well us being here, but they have to deal with it out there. Go to school and hear people gossip. I don’t want to put them through that.’

‘You can only do your best,’ I told the lady as we walked through the car park, hoping to reassure her a little.

‘Trouble is, other people get to know your situation and the boys have been badly bullied by some of the kids at school, and on the street where we live,’ she explained. ‘Kieron still wets the bed. I’ve been into school loads of times to try and sort it out, and they say they will, but it still happens. They still get bullied.

‘They’re on a trip today with the Cubs, but I try to bring them to see her as much as I can, to keep the relationship going, but it can be hard as the visits are a bit difficult sometimes. Occasionally Kieron doesn’t want to come with us. He’s quite angry about everything. Again, between school and me, we’re doing our best to help him, but he lashes out at us and I know his behaviour is bad. As he grows up it’s getting worse. I worry that they’re going to end up going down the same road as their mum. That would totally destroy me. I think the world of them.

‘She calls us as much as possible, but it can be a struggle to know what to talk about sometimes. She’s got a job, and has done some education courses, and she seems to be doing her best to make a better life, so she can support the boys when she comes out. I hope so, but it might take me a lot of time to trust her again.

‘I try to give them a normal life as best I can but it’s hard,’ she said. ‘Money’s tight, too. I had some savings, but it’s all gone so it’s really tough now. We’ve had to use food banks before.’

‘Do you manage to come and visit much?’ I asked her.

‘I’ve only been once this month. We live over two hours away, and the petrol’s so expensive. Sometimes I just can’t afford it,’ she said.

‘Oh, that must be really hard for you,’ I said, trying to imagine how on earth she managed to cope.

‘But on the whole the kids enjoy visiting and love playing with all the stuff they have here. It feels pretty informal and I always give them two pounds each for snacks. They have to go through quite a lot of security, of course, but they always get a big hug off their mum, and I think that’s probably the best bit for them,’ she added.

‘It must be wonderful for them to have a lovely hug from Mum, and even better for her. I bet she looks forward to that more than anything else,’ I replied, knowing how comforting a loving hug can be.

As we arrived at the entrance to the prison, we wished each other a happy day and went our separate ways, but I found myself thinking about how challenging life must be for those two boys and their grandmother.

The number of visits each resident is allowed from family members and friends is determined via their status, which is based on behaviour. There is an Incentives policy in place, so if prisoners work hard, stick to the rules and exceed behaviour expectations, they can improve their status. There are three levels: Bronze, Silver and Gold. New residents go to prison on Silver and it can take them as little as eight weeks to achieve Gold status. Commendations are given out for good behaviour and with three commendations they can receive Gold, which leads to additional privileges, such as an increase in the amount of money that can be sent in, access to Avon beauty catalogues and quarterly social events. If residents get two behavioural warnings, they have a meeting with a senior officer to discuss what is going on and to see if they need additional support or help. After that meeting, if they get one further warning, there is an official review, which could lead to demotion. There is now an add-on scheme called Incentives Plus. If a resident gets five commendations in a month, they are eligible for an additional privilege, which could be access to the Vita Nova café, a free eyebrow shape at Shades of Beauty, an additional £5 from their private cash allowance, or a visit in the private family room. This system recently replaced the older IEP (Incentives and Earned Privileges) scheme, where the levels were known as Basic, Standard and Enhanced, but the premise is the same, and many still refer to the previous terminology. At Bronzefield, Silver residents can book a maximum of four visits per month, and Gold residents can book a maximum of six visits per month, all of which can be of two hours in duration.

Some manage to get visits regularly, but sometimes it may be much less frequent, possibly months before they can see their children due to the distance the family have to travel and the expense that involves. Certainly, for most women, these visits are what they live for and gives them hope and purpose – a shining light of joy on the horizon.

There are fewer women’s prisons in the country as a whole, so the average distance for a female inmate from her home to Bronzefield is around fifty-five miles. But they are at the mercy of the system, and an eight-hour round trip for a family to see their loved one is not unusual. Having a mother in prison can stretch what may already be fairly tight finances even thinner. Families may lose the income generated by a woman if she had been working, and extended family members such as grandparents may be forced to give up work or cut down their hours to care for children. Other factors that might stop visits include the fact that they may be scheduled for when children should be at school, or they have no adult to accompany them because their guardians are working.

There are family support workers on hand to help promote familial relationships, and to ease the stress of what must be quite an unusual setting for mothers to see their children. In real life, it’s not often that we sit opposite loved ones and talk constantly, but the reality of these visits is that prisoners and families sit across a table and probably try to maintain conversation about ‘normal’ things – especially if children are present – and that they may feel awkward if they can’t keep the conversation going. Residents can apply for a visit in the family room, so they are not surrounded by other visits, but the same rules apply.

The prison also runs family days every other month in the gym, open to all residents regardless of their privilege level. These visits coincide with school holidays and have themes, depending on the time of year, with a big party around Christmas, filled with presents, excitement and talk of Santa’s visit.

These days are undoubtedly a huge highlight for many mothers behind bars, but they must also be a very bittersweet reminder of what they are missing.

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