The Marvellous Adventures and Rare Conceits of Master Tyll Owlglass

The Thirtieth Adventure

How that Owlglass did tell his master how he might scape giving pork unto his neighbours

On a time Owlglass was servant unto a boor, who was a man of great avarice, and did never like to give unto others anything he might have. Now it fortuned that he killed a pig, and as he had received from others pieces of bacon when that they killed, so now would they expect that he would give unto them in return. Then he spake unto Owlglass, saying: “Truly art thou of a quick wit and ready invention. Tell me how shall I escape giving unto my neighbours.” Thereat said Owlglass: “In truth, nothing is more easy. Behold, when it is night-time hang thy pig without thy door upon a hook, and when that it cometh unto midnight take it secretly away, and make great complaint that it hath been stolen.” And the boor did according unto the words of Owlglass, for he was content.

When that he came in the night to take his pig secretly away, he found it not, and did cry out woundily that robbers had taken it. And truly our good Master Owlglass had conveyed the pig away himself. And when he heard the boor cry, he came up to him, and asked what might have happened. And the boor answered Owlglass, and said: “The thieves have come and taken away my pig.” Then answered Owlglass: “Excellently spake! So tell thou unto all thy neighbours.” But the other said: “Nay; but the matter hath not ended as I desired. The pig hath truly been stolen.” And Owlglass answered him: “An if ye speak thus well, all the town will believe you. Most excellent, by my halidom!” And although the boor would have persuaded Owlglass of the truth, did that great master only laugh. And thereafter did he tell unto the neighbours what he had advised; and no one would believe the boor.

The Thirty and First Adventure

How that Owlglass conferred with the rector and masters of the University of Prague in Bohemia, and how he did make answer unto their questions, and therein came off most wisely

And Owlglass departed and came unto the city of Prague in Bohemia, and there he set letters upon the church-doors, and therein said unto all that might read, that of a truth was he a most famous master, and one that could make answer unto all questions. And the rector and masters of the university heard that this learned man had come; and they were troubled thereat, and they took counsel how that they might put such questions unto him as he could not resolve, and thus might they cause him to be cast forth from the town with much mockery and shame. And so did they agree. And they sent the bedell of the university unto the inn where Owlglass lay, and charged the host that he should bring his guest into the chamber of the rector and masters; and he promised to do this thing. And they charged Owlglass that the next day he should give answers unto the questions which they had writ down, and if he could not answer, then should he be declared unworthy. And Owlglass answered, and said: “Tell the most learned rector and masters that I will do it straightway as they do require of me; and I trust to prove myself a pious man as from old time have I done.”

And on the next day the rector and masters and students of the university assembled together, and Owlglass came with his host and some few of the citizens, so that all might proceed with good content. And when that he had entered into the assembly, they signified unto him that he should stand upon the stool, and make reply unto the questions so demanded of him. Then the rector opened his mouth, and spake unto Owlglass, and asked him, how many gallons of water there were in the sea; and he charged him to speak the truth and to conceal nothing from him, for an if he could not answer, then would he punish him as an ignorant beguiler, and cast him forth. And Owlglass thereupon answered him and said: “Four hundred and eighty million seven hundred and thirty thousand two hundred and sixty-four gallons and two-thirds of good measure. An ye will not believe what I say, cause ye the rivers and lakes and streams which run therein to stand still, and I will mete it, and if it prove not as I say, then will I confess that I am unwise.” And the rector could not do this thing, and therefore he was obliged to admit the answer of Owlglass; and he next asked him this following question: “Tell me how many days have passed by from Adam’s time until this present hour?” And Owlglass spake unto him, saying: “Most worshipful master rector, the number is not great; only seven have so passed—Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday; and when that they have passed, then begin other seven days, and so will it go forward until the end of the world.” Then said the rector: “Now answer me exactly, and say where is the middle of the world?” Then Owlglass answered: “That is here where we now stand; and if ye believe me not, do ye take a cord and mete it, and if it be a hair’s breadth less, then will I stand ashamed.” Then the rector waxed wroth, and asked Owlglass the fourth question: “How far is it from earth to heaven?” And Owlglass made answer: “When that one speaketh in heaven it is easy to hear it down here; therefore get ye one of ye up thither, and I will cry aloud, and if ye hear me not, then will I confess my wrong.” And the rector waxed tired of questioning Owlglass, and asked him: “How great was heaven?” And Owlglass said unto him: “It is a thousand fathoms wide, and a thousand cubits high; and if ye believe me not, take the sun and moon and stars from heaven, and mete it, and ye will find I am right therein.”

And, my masters, I charge ye to tell me, what could the worthy folks answer unto Owlglass? In all things was he too cunning for them; and by knavery had he beguiled them all. Then did he strip off his long coat, and departed from Prague.

The Thirty and Second Adventure

How that Owlglass did on a time mix him up in a marriage strife, and did soon end it with great renown

It came to pass on a time, that Owlglass entered into a town where much wine was made, and where the folk of the town did oftentimes drink themselves drunken thereupon. And, my masters, well do you know that when on a time ye have peeped into the glass, so that ye have been not as it would like me an if ye always were; and after that ye come home, ye do not find that your wives receive ye in so goodly and excellent a wise as at other times, so happened it that our noble and beloved Master Owlglass, as he was passing along the street to get him to the inn where he lay, did hear a brawling within a house hard by, as of people disputing the one with the other in great anger. So our good friend therewith stood still, and he hearkened, and perceived that it was the wife of a cobbler who, unto her husband, the which had come back from the winehouse well drunken, was reading the evening blessing, the which doeth such great and excellent good unto all husbands. And with many words contended they until that it was supper time; then the husband took his wife by the head, and said unto her: “Wilt thou cook for me my supper?” And she said: “Nay, that would she not,” and then went they to quarreling again with much contention. At last said the cobbler: “I would have that the devil should come and fly away with thee!” And when that Owlglass heard these words, he took up a large stone which lay in the street, and threw it at the window, so that the frame and glass all fell together, and brake with a loud noise. And the twain who were contending within, thought in truth that the devil had come thither, and were stricken with great terror. But Owlglass gat him away, for that he might not have the charges of the broken window demanded of him. Yet went the story forth with great renown, and even unto this day do the town folk believe that the devil appeared in shape like unto a great stone; and if that ye believe not my saying, get ye thither and ask it of them yourselves.

The Thirty and Third Adventure

How that Owlglass did cause an ass to read certain words out of a book at the great university of Erfurt

Now after that Owlglass had departed, and had gat him away, it came to pass that he journeyed until he entered the city of Erfurt, at the which place is a most learned university. And our well-beloved Master Owlglass, like unto some wise men of our days, could not hide his wisdom under a bushel; but wheresoever it fortuned for him to sojourn, there must he teach the people some cunning thing. And after that he had come unto Erfurt, he gat him unto a notary, and with fine writing had he letters marvellously done in goodly and fair manuscript, setting forth therein his wondrous parts. And such letters of challenge he set upon the church doors. And the great fame of Owlglass had come unto Erfurt, where the rector and learned doctors had heard not a little of his knavish beguilings and conceits; thereat conferred they together as to how they might so enjoin him to do a thing the which he might not be able to perform, but have great shame thereby, and that they themselves might not be deceived and mocked. And then they agreed that they would give unto Owlglass an ass to be his scholar, the which he should teach that he might in time become a reader and a wise beast, for of asses were there great plenty in that university.

Thereat went they unto Owlglass, and they spake unto him, saying: “Worshipful master, well know we that you have set letters of art upon the doors of the church, by the which ye say ye can teach unto any beast, both that he shall learn to write and to read; now, therefore, have the doctors of the university resolved, in that among us be no lack of asses, that ye shall receive one to be a scholar and student under thee, and that he shall learn to read. Will ye have him to be a scholar, and receive him and therewith, when that ye have taught him, a great reward?” Then answered Owlglass and said: “Yea, that will I; but thereunto must I have time, for an ass is an animal not wise nor easy to be taught.” So they conferred together, and agreed that he was to be allowed twenty years in the which to teach him. Then thought Owlglass in his own mind: “So there are three of us unto this bargain. If that the rector should die, then am I free. And if it should come to pass that I should die, then can I break the contract. But if my scholar should not live, then am I also quit.” And he agreed with them, and of the money he received some in part. Then he gat him into the inn of the town, and the master of the house was a man of singular mind. And for his scholar did Owlglass hire him a stable, and he gat him a great old book, and laid it into the manger before him, and between each leaf of the book he laid oats, and the ass soon beheld that, and he turned over the leaves with his tongue to eat the oats, and when that the oats were all gone, he cried out with a loud voice: “E, A—E, A!”

And when that Owlglass perceived this, he rose up and gat him unto the rector, and came into his presence, and said unto him: “Worshipful master rector, when will it please ye to come unto me to see how my disciple doth get forward with his book?” Then said the rector: “Doth he agree unto that which thou teachest him?” And Owlglass answered him, and said: “Truly he is a difficult disciple, and one that loveth not his book; yet have I brought it about that by much labour he pronounceth two vowel sounds very well, that is to say, E and A. Will it not make ye pleasure to come and hear him?” And all this time had the good scholar fasted. And when that Owlglass came with the rector, and some of the doctors of the university, he took a book and laid it in the manger before him, and when that the ass beheld it, he turned over the leaves backward and forward, hither and thither, with his tongue to find the oats, but, as he found nothing therein, he cried with a loud voice: “E, A—E, A!” Then said Owlglass: “Behold, most learned doctors, my disciple doth now pronounce well, although yet somewhat broadly, the two vowels E and A, and that can he do. I have great hope of him that he will soon get farther.” In no long time after died the rector; and then Owlglass abode no longer with his disciple, but with his money departed, thinking that in truth it would demand great industry to make all the asses in Erfurt wise. Therefore he did it not; and they be all asses in that city unto this day.

The Thirty and Fourth Adventure

How that Owlglass did kill a hog, and answered for his evil doing unto the burghmaster

Now it fortuned, that Owlglass once came unto a village, and did hire him unto a boor to be his serving man. And this boor rejoiced greatly in all the wise sayings of Owlglass; and in no long time was Owlglass the best man in the house. And it came to pass upon one even that the boor made complaint unto Owlglass, and said unto him that he had an evil neighbour who endeavoured with all his might to afflict him in all ways that he might, and who, as the old saw saith, would have given an eye that the boor might be blind. Then Owlglass thought within him: “That will I soon repay with marvellous heavy interest. And so that my master doth thereat have joy and goodly satisfaction, then shall I be content.” And when that he entered into the farm-yard on the next morning to depart about his labour, Owlglass beheld that the neighbour’s hog had broken into that place, and was rolling on the dunghill in the yard; and hard upon the dunghill was there a pond of water, which stood still, and was covered with green. Then took Owlglass a cudgel and did strike the hog therewith, until that the hog ran into the pool and was therein drowned. But privily had the neighbour watched Owlglass, and beheld that which was done; and he cried aloud, and ran unto Owlglass, and demanded money for the hog which he had thus lost. And as Owlglass heeded him not, he came unto his master and desired the same thing. But the master of Owlglass said: “Truly, therewith have I nought to do. My servant man did this thing; go ye therefore unto the burghmaster and speak thereof unto him, and let my man answer it.” Thereat the owner of the hog gat him unto the burghmaster, and complained unto him of what Owlglass had done. Then the burghmaster sent for Owlglass, and spake unto him, and demanded that he should answer it.

And Owlglass did rise up early in the morning, and he saddled a horse, and gave him to eat, and then departed, and gat him unto the house of the burghmaster. And the burghmaster, at that time, fortuned to be at his breakfast, and had before him a porringer of barley broth. And the burghmaster questioned Owlglass how that it had come to pass that he had killed the hog. Then Owlglass answered cunningly, and told him how that the hog brake his way into the yard and wallowed upon the dunghill; and, moreover, he told him how he had struck the hog, that he departed into the pool, and was there drowned. But the burghmaster was a man of slow understanding,—as is in truth not a thing marvellous strange amid people set in authority,—and he demanded of Owlglass that he should tell him the story more plainly. Whereat replied Owlglass and said: “Most worshipful sir, I will set forth unto you this thing very plain and easy to be comprehended of you. Look you, suppose ye that ye were yourself the hog, and your porringer of barley the pool, and suppose that I came after this wise, and with my hand smote you thus”—and therewith fetched Owlglass the burghmaster a great blow over the head—“thou mightest fall therein.” Thereat cried the burghmaster aloud, and would have held Owlglass; but he ran forth and leapt upon his horse and departed thence with great haste.

The Thirty and Fifth Adventure

How that Owlglass at Nugenstädten, in the land of Thuringia, did wash the women’s furs

Now after that did Owlglass come into the land of Thuringia, into the village of Nugenstädten, and there he entered and besought the inn-folk that he should receive a night’s lodging. Thereat came the hostess unto him, and asked him, saying: “What manner of trade followest thou?”

And Owlglass answered and said unto her: “Truly am I of no trade, but do in all things accustom myself to speak the truth.” Then said the hostess: “Such do I most gladly receive into my house, and truth-speakers are welcome.” And Owlglass looked round him, and he perceived that the hostess did squint; therefore he said: “Squint-wife, squint-wife, where doth it please ye that I shall sit, and where would ye have me to lay my staff and wallet?” Thereat waxed the hostess very wroth, and said unto him: “May nought good ever happen unto thee; in all my life did no one ever say unto me that I squinted!” But Owlglass answered and said unto her: “Dear hostess, be not angry with me, for an if I do speak the truth, then must I do it at all times, and in all things.” And thereat was her wrath turned away, and she, being merry, laughed and was content.

Now after that Owlglass had abode that night in her inn, they conferred together, and he told her that he could wash old furs so that they became new again. Thereat rejoiced the hostess greatly, and begged that he would do this, and she would tell all her neighbours that they should also bring their furs to be washed. And Owlglass said: “Yea, verily, that would he do.” Then all the women in the village brought unto Owlglass their furs, that they might be washed. And Owlglass said unto them: “Ye must have milk.” And all the women desired greatly to have new furs, and they each gat them home, and brought unto Owlglass all the milk that they had there. And Owlglass set two cauldrons upon the fire, and he poured the milk into them, and then put the furs into the milk, and they were boiled therein.

And it came to pass, that when he thought that they had boiled enough, he said unto the women: “Now must ye bring me young white elm twigs, and peel ye them, and when that ye come again unto me, I will take out the furs, for then will they be boiled enough, and I will wring them; yet must I have wood to do this.” And the women departed right joyfully to fetch the wood, and the children ran with them, and sang and danced, and said: “O beautiful new fur cloaks! O beautiful new fur cloaks!” Then stood Owlglass and laughed, and said: “Wait ye yet a while, the furs be not right yet.” And while they were gone for the twigs, Owlglass piled more wood on the fire, and left the furs boiling, and departed out of the village. And yet hath he not returned to wash the furs. When that the women folk came back, they began to quarrel, and strive one with the other, for each would have her fur first forth from the cauldron; but when that they looked how they were proceeding, lo! they were all boiled to rags and fell to pieces. And Owlglass rejoiced that he had so happily gone forth.

The Thirty and Sixth Adventure

Telleth how that Owlglass journeyed about the land with a saint’s head, and did beguile many therewith

Now the malice of Owlglass had been so great that everywhere was he known, and his knavery noised abroad, so that where he once came at any time, to that place durst he not go again, unless it mote be that he disguised himself in strange appearance that others might not know him. And although, with his idleness, he could never have much content, yet from his youth up had he always been one that loved good living, and by his divers beguilings he always had by him good store of money. But by his knavishness he had fallen into such evil repute, that nowhere might he get money, and he began to see the bottom of his money-pouch oftener than it pleased him to do. So he began to consider within himself, how that he might without labour get more money, for he knew that often more money is gained by idle courses than by hard work. Then thought he that he would become a pardoner, and journey to and fro with a holy relic, therewith to persuade the people that they should give him money. Therefore he gat him the long gown of a priest’s scholar, and went unto the sexton, who gave unto him a skull; therewith he departed unto the silversmith, who set it about fairly with brave workmanship in silver. Then came he into the land of Pomerania, where have I also been, my masters. And there are the people right honest and good, brave men and true, believing that which ye say unto them; and their piety is as great as their faith. Yet in that land Owlglass found that the priests cared more for drinking than preaching; and when that a church feast, a wedding, or any other assembly came to pass in a village, then did Owlglass go unto the priest, and entreat of him that he might preach, and shew unto the boors the holy relic which he bare with him; and Owlglass promised to give unto the priest half of whatever offerings the village folk made thereto. The unlearned priest was content enough if that he might only receive money thereby.

And when that there were many folk in the church, Owlglass gat him up into the pulpit, and spake somewhat to them of the old covenant and of the new covenant, of the ark and the golden vessels where lay the holy bread. Thereafter spake he of the head of the holy Saint Brandonus, he that was a sanctified man, and that to his honour was it now resolved, that a church should be builded, and that with money not got by knavery; nor would he receive aught from any that loved not their husbands. Then gave he the head unto the peasants to kiss, and it might have been the head of a thief for what Owlglass knew; and after that he blessed them, and gat him down, and went to the altar, and there began he to sing, and ring the bells. Then came all the women, good and bad, unto him with their offerings; and the bad came twice and thrice, and he received all, nor turned away any. And the women believed in his saying, and thought that one that came not should be reproved. And any woman who had no money brought unto him a golden ring, and they strove together which should offer more often than another, for therewith was their virtue confirmed. And many offered so that all folks might behold it, for charity covereth a multitude of sins. Thus did Owlglass get the fairest offering which in that land had been offered, and all the women of the land held Owlglass in great reverence for his piety. And Owlglass knew how to practise malice with gain. Nor do the folks even unto this day omit with much openness to give unto charitable uses a trifle from their substance, and their names are written in great letters; and some that respect charity have an awe for them, but a few there be that think ye should work goodness in secret.

The Thirty and Seventh Adventure

How that Owlglass did make the town-watch of Nürnberg to fall into the water which is called the Pegnitz

Owlglass was most wise in knavery. And when that he had journeyed far and wide with the holy head of Saint Brandonus, and had beguiled the people, so that he felt it in his pocket as a heavier weight than it lay upon his soul, he came unto Nürnberg, where he purposed to make good cheer with the money which the head gat for him. And after that he had lain there for a while, he could no longer live unless that he committed some vile knavery; therefore he looked round as to what he might do. And, behold, it came to pass that the town watchmen slept in a great watch-box, beneath the town-hall, in their armour, and this saw Owlglass. Now Owlglass had learned all the highways and byways at Nürnberg, and he craftily took heed of the small bridge which is called the Hangman’s Bridge, and which leads between the Pig-market and the Little House, where of a night it is ill to pass; and many a one who hath gone thereby to fetch a measure of wine, hath had too great a drink of water. Thereafter waited Owlglass with his knavery, until the people had begun to sleep—and truly watchmen sleep always early; and when that it was quite still brake he craftily from the bridge three planks, and cast them into the Pegnitz, and then departed on his way to the town-hall, and there ’gan he to swear, and with an old knife which he had he struck the stones of the street, that fire flew far round. Now the watch awoke thereat, and they heard him, and gat them up, and followed after him. So Owlglass fled before them, and ran in the way which led to the Pig-market, and when he came unto the bridge he helped himself diligently across as best he might where that he brake away the planks; and after that he had come thereover, he lifted up his voice, and cried unto them: “Ho! ho! ye shamefaced knaves! where be ye that ye follow not?” And thereat were the watchmen angry, and they pursued him yet faster, and each desired to be the first to catch the mocking beguiler. Then fell they one after the other into the Pegnitz; and it fortuned that the hole was so narrow, that they dashed their teeth out as they fell against the other side. Then spake Owlglass unto them, and said: “Ho! ho! come ye not forward yet? To-morrow follow after me yet more hastily.” And one there was of them who brake his leg, and another his arm, and the third knocked a hole in his skull; thus no one came off without some hurt. Now, after that Owlglass had thus accomplished his knavery, he abode no longer in the town of Nürnberg, but gat him forth, and departed; for he was sore afraid, that, if it should be discovered, the lords of the city of Nürnberg might cause him to suffer therefor.