The Marvellous Adventures and Rare Conceits of Master Tyll Owlglass

Then opened Owlglass his mouth, and spake unto the bishop, and said unto him: “Most reverend lord and father, a maker of spectacles am I, and from Brabant do I fare. And in that country do people so clearly see, that I can by my trade win nothing. Therefore do I journey in search of work, the which I might do because trade is bad.” Then said the bishop: “Of a truth believe I not that which thou sayest unto me. For thy trade should wax greater and greater every day, for as much as people now grow more shortsighted, and see less and less that which is before them. Thus do folk require many spectacles.” To him replied our noble master after this wise: “Yea, my noble lord; but there is one thing that destroyeth our handicraft, and that would I tell you, but that you would with great scorn reject my saying, and with anger visit me.”

And the bishop answered, saying: “Nay, to the crying out of the people are we well used. Say freely on that which thou wouldst say.” Then said Owlglass: “Noble and reverend lord, one thing is there the which doth mar our handicraft altogether, and I fear me greatly, that, with all obeisance unto thee, it will utterly ruin and destroy it. For that ye and other great lords, popes, cardinals, bishops, Cæsars, kings, princes, counsellors, governors, and judges, now look rather through your fingers, than after any other wise. And thus think ye your sight long and true, and therefore buy ye not of such poor artizans as we be. And of old time read we, that men which are reputed learned did with much diligence read, study, and explore the mysteries of wisdom, so that their eyes grew faint and weak, in order that thereby no evil might arise unto the people; and at that time was our trade yet good. In the like manner did the parsons most carefully read and study; but now is every one so learned, that, without looking upon any book, doth he know everything, and by his inward wisdom perceiveth he all that he would know. Thus is our trade marred. Now run I from one land unto another, and nowhere can I find any work; for even hath this reached so far into the hearts of men, that the very boors do ape and imitate their betters, and would be so wondrous wise.” Without gloss perceived the bishop good Master Owlglass his text, and spake unto him fair words, and said: “Behold now, come thou with us unto Frankfort, and there will we mend thy trade, and recompence thee richly for thy pains, and to thee shall be given our dress and arms; for truly art thou worthy to be with us.”

Thus did the bishop reward Owlglass, and chose the vagabond for his fellow, and in right fellowship were they the twain; and from the Church, the which Owlglass despised, gat he at last great comfort. For that which now with great contempt we put away, may anon be of great worth and advantage. So he abode with the bishop until the count was confirmed emperor, and then departed again into Saxony.

The Seventy and First Adventure

How that Owlglass of a boor at the fair of Gerau took leather

In the town of Gerau was there a fair, and from all the country side and parts both far and near, came folk in great multitude exceeding many, to buy and to sell and to chaffer. All manner of ware might ye behold there; but (O good fortune!) in especial was there no lack of leather, and almost every boor which came unto that place bought of leather a roll or twain. But the crowd of folk pushing hither and thither, each contending and striving with each, was so great, that it was hard to tell which owned any special roll of the good leather they had bought.

And among the good folk which came unto that place was our worthy and trusty Master Owlglass, and he came with the crowd, and was greatly contented therewith. And, behold, there came before him a boor with a roll of leather; and Owlglass perceived what an excellent knavery could be practised. So took he a needle and thread with speed, and deftly sewed a corner of the leathern roll unto his own doublet. In no short space of time did he with his hands pluck by force the piece of leather from the boor, and turned him about, and departed another way among the folk. Thereat marvelled the boor with great marvel, and stood still; but in a little while thereafter departed he after Owlglass, and took him, and said: “Thou knave, thou hast from me stolen my leather.” But Owlglass answered, and said unto him gently: “Nay, friend, thou art unjust towards me. Seest thou not that the leather is mine, for it is sewed unto my coat, so that none may steal it. And hadst thou done so likewise, then couldst thou not have lost thy leather.” And the boor believed the words of Owlglass, and departed elsewhere to seek the leather he had lost.

The Seventy and Second Adventure

How that at Hildesheim Owlglass did hire himself unto merchant to be his cook, and what tricks he played unto him

As thou goest down that street at Hildesheim which leadeth from the Haymarket, dwelt, on a time, a rich merchant, and he did come forth unto the gate, and would have entered into his garden. And he passed along, and behold, he found Owlglass lying in a green field, and he greeted him and spake unto him, and would have known of him what manner of man he was, and in what wise he earned his bread. Then with hidden knavery answered Owlglass unto him, and said: “I am a cook, yet have I now no service.” And the merchant said unto him: “If that thou would be pious and diligent, would I myself hire thee, and give unto thee new clothes; for my wife doth every day most bitterly cry out touching the cooking.” Then did Owlglass, with great sincerity, promise and vow unto him obedience. Thereafter hired him the merchant, and asked him what his name might be? And Owlglass answered, and said: “Pan-cra-ti-us.” The merchant said: “Of a truth is this name very long; behold, one cannot with brief time speak it. Thy name shall be Crazy.” And Owlglass answered: “Yea, most excellent master, so mote it be, for it is all one to me, what I am called.” Then did the merchant approve him, and said to him: “Behold, thou art a servant in whom I can have pleasure. Follow me, therefore, and we will get unto my garden before the town, and there gather herbs, and carry home with us young chickens, for on the next Sunday have I guests coming, and I would fain give unto them good cheer.” Owlglass followed him unto the garden, and there cut they rosemary, to make a stuffing for the chickens, after the Italian mode; and they took of onions, and of other herbs good store, and thereto of eggs, and departed, and came home again.

And when the good wife looked upon the strangely apparelled Owlglass, she said unto her husband, and asked him: “What manner of man have ye here? Would ye waste our bread on such a fellow?” And the merchant straightway answered and said: “Be content good wife; to thee shall he be obedient. Lo! he is a good cook.” And the wife replied unto him: “Yea, good man, I am content, and goodly messes shall he cook for us.” Then said the merchant: “To-morrow shall ye see how bravely he can cook.” And he called Owlglass, and said unto him: “Crazy!” Then spake Owlglass: “Master!” “Go thou and take the meat sack, and follow me unto the shambles, for I would buy meat for the dinner.” Then followed Owlglass his master, and the meat was bought accordingly. Then the merchant enjoined Owlglass, and said unto him: “Behold, take thou the meat and set it me down where it may slowly become cooked, in a cool place, so that it be not burned. And the other meat set me down likewise.” Owlglass answered: “Yea,” and rose up early the next morning, and some of the meat put he unto the fire to roast; but the other put he upon the spit, and laid it in the cellar between two butts of Einbeck beer, so that it could not be burned.

And when the friends of the merchant entered, among them was the town clerk, and many other worthy folk; and the merchant went unto Owlglass, and said unto him: “How doth the meat fare? Hast thou done as I told thee.” “Yea,” said Owlglass, “that have I. For no cooler place in all thy house could I find than the cellar, and there lieth the meat upon a spit between two casks of Einbeck beer.” “But is it not ready then?” asked the merchant. “Nay,” said Owlglass, “I wist not that ye would have it.”

And then came the guests, and the merchant told them how Owlglass had put the meat in the cellar; and thereat laughed they greatly at the merry jest, and so was Owlglass excused. But the good wife was not content therewith by reason of the guests, and besought her husband that he would let him go, for well saw she that he was a knave. Then said the merchant: “Dear wife, behold! I fain would have his services to assist me when that I go unto the town of Goslar; be patient, and when that I return thence will I bid him depart in God’s name.” And they sate and made good cheer, and drank good wine, and had much comfort; and at eventide the merchant called for Owlglass, and said unto him: “Toll, prepare thou the coach and smear it right well, for to-morrow will we depart unto Goslar, and with us doth ride that good priest, Master Henry Hamenstede, for there abideth he, and will go with us.” Then said Owlglass unto his master: “Yea, he would do his bidding.” And he inquired of him, saying: “What manner of unction shall I use to smear the coach withal?” The merchant cast down a shilling for him to take, and said unto him: “Go ye straightway and buy ye cart grease, and that unction will serve thee as well as any other.” And the obedient Owlglass did, therefore, according unto the words of his master.

When that all men had gat them to bed, stood our Master Owlglass and smeared the coach within and without with the cart grease the which he had bought, and on that spot where his master sate smeared he the most. In the morning arose his master, and came with the priest unto the coach, and commanded that he should put the horses unto the coach; and that also did Owlglass. And then departed they in the coach; and as they went forward, the grease with the which Owlglass had greased the seat began to smell with no sweet savour, and the priest opened his mouth, and spake unto the merchant, saying: “Lo! what is this? There is a savour in this coach which savoureth not of a goodly savour. And when that I would hold me unto the sides of the coach, for as much as it jolteth and jarreth me, then are my hands covered over with grease, the which love I not.” Then commanded they Owlglass that he should stop, and then told they him that of a truth were they smeared all over with grease, and with grievous anger visited they our good master.

Then cometh by a peasant with a load of straw, going unto the market; of him bought they sundry bundles, and they wiped the coach, and all their clothes, and again gat them in. And the merchant spake with great anger unto Owlglass, and said unto him: “Thou evil and most beguiling knave, what is this thing which thou hast done? Get ye unto the town gallows with all speed.” And Owlglass did as he was commanded, and when that he came unto the gallows tree, he stayed the coach, and unharnessed the horses thereof. Then cried the merchant unto Owlglass, with a loud voice: “What is this other thing which thou hast done, thou knave?” And Owlglass said: “Of a truth bid ye me drive unto the town gallows, and there stand we. I thought that here would ye rest.” Then looked the merchant and perceived the place where they stood, and the gallows thereby. What could these worthy men do? Was it not the best to laugh thereat as they might. So laughed they; but the merchant said unto Owlglass: “Now do thou drive straight forward, and look not round in any wise.” Then drew Owlglass the pole from out of the carriage, and drave the horses forward.

And it came to pass, when that they had driven some small distance, that the fore-part of the coach was from the hinder part loosened, and the merchant and the priest sate within, and abode standing on the road. They cried aloud unto Owlglass, but he would not look round, but departed with the fore-part of the coach and the horse, and cast not his eyes behind to see what had happened. And though they pursued him, was it a long time ere they came up with him. Then would the merchant have killed him, but the priest would not have this done. And when that the journey was ended, said the merchant’s wife unto him: “What manner of voyage hast thou had?” And the merchant answered unto her: “Marvellous strange hath it been; yet have we returned back again with safety.” Then called he Owlglass, and said unto him: “Hear me what I say, fellow voyager. This night mayest thou yet remain here with me, and thou mayest also bravely eat and drink. To-morrow morn do thou rise up and clear me the house that I may be quit of thee and of thy company. For a knave art thou wheresoever thou wert born.” Then said the poor and worthy Master Owlglass: “Dear heart of me! all that is required of me that do I, but no one giveth me thanks therefor. Yet my service contenteth me not, then according as thou commandest will I in the morning clear the house and get me hence.” “Yea, so do thou,” said the merchant.

The next day arose the merchant, and said unto Owlglass: “Do thou eat and drink until thy stomach is contented, and then get forth from this house, so that I look not upon thy face again, when that I come from the church.” But Owlglass held his peace. And when that the merchant had departed from the house, he began to clear the house, and stools, benches, tables, and all that he could drag forth took he and cast it in the street. The wares of the merchant likewise cast he forth, and the neighbours marvelled greatly what it should signify that all the goods were thus brought out from the house. And one that was a friend of the merchant departed and told him, so with great wrath ran he unto his house, and sware more than in the church he had prayed. And then said he unto Owlglass: “How cometh it that yet ye are here? Did I not command thee to go hence?” “Yea, master,” quoth honest Master Owlglass, “I would fain only have fulfilled your command, for ye enjoined me that I should clear the house, the which am I not performing? And truly am I glad ye are returned, for some matters are too heavy for me, and I would crave your help.” “Let all things lie,” said the master, “I have been at more charges for them than that they should be cast into the mire. And thou, get thee unto the evil one, and let me not see thee more.” And Owlglass lamented and said: “Alas! is it not a marvellous strange thing that everywhere do I what I am told; yet am I ever chidden for my pains? In an unfortunate hour must I have come into the world.” Then departed he, and left the merchant to carry back into his house his chattels and merchandise. Thereat laughed the neighbours with great content.

The Seventy and Third Adventure

How that at Greifswald good Master Owlglass came unt the Rector of the University, and proclaimed himself to be a master in all languages, save in one only, to wit, the Spanish tongue

Now unto the good town of Greifswald, on that stormy sea which is called the Baltic, came Owlglass on a time. And when that he arrived set he upon the church doors letters, and upon the University gates also, proclaiming therein, that of all languages, save one only was he the master, and he could understand every tongue save one, to wit, the Spanish. Thereat marvelled the people with great marvel.

When that the Rector saw the letters which Owlglass had set upon the university gate, he called together his masters, and they conferred together; and then was it agreed amongst them, that Owlglass should be bidden to come before them, and that if he could do that which he said, then would they do him high honour, and entertain, and endue him with all the dignities of their venerable college; but if that he might be a deceiver, then would they with great indignity visit him, and command him to depart out of their town. So appointed they a day for this to be done. And Owlglass accepted the challenge which the rector and masters sent him; and the town was busy all the time with gossips here and gossips there, talking of the marvellous professor which had come. And, after the manner of gossips, did they make two where before was one; and of the foreign master was great conference and noise.

When that the day had come for this wonderful disputation and examination, there assembled together the rector and the masters, the chief councillors of the town and the most considerable citizens; and then entered to them Owlglass, who was attired in like manner unto them, with gown and grave look. And the rector bade him, that he should sit on a stool in the midst of the assembly, over against him. And Owlglass signified unto him, that now would he fain be examined. Then arose the rector, and, with much gravity, spake unto him, and addressed him in the Latin tongue. And Owlglass said to him: “Most noble rector, but one language in the world have I not learned, the which language is Spanish; and now that thou speakest unto me, it appeareth unto me that thy words savour of that tongue.” Then the rector said unto him, that truly was Latin like unto Spanish, yet was it not Spanish, and, therefore, should he have known. But Owlglass said: “Nay; but if any tongue were like unto Spanish, then shut he his ears; for that it was great shame unto the Christian world, that yet should in Spain such vile unbelievers be as the Moors and their black king.” So by reason of his fervour excused they Owlglass. Then stood up the rector, and spake unto him in the Greek language. And Owlglass answered, that unto him it sounded like Spanish. And the rector said unto him: “If that thou knowest all languages, then must thou truly also know the Greek tongue.” “That,” quoth Owlglass, “is the reason why unto me it sounded like unto Spanish. For of old time were the Greek nations idol worshippers, and bowed down unto senseless stocks and stones; and shame were it that Christian man should speak such a tongue.” Then did the assembly praise Owlglass with great praise.

A third time arose the learned rector, and spake unto Owlglass; and this time spake he Italian. And Owlglass said unto him: “Behold, that too is like Spanish, and I must hold my peace.” And the rector told unto him that it was Italian. “Shame should it be,” said Owlglass, “that I should speak the language of brigands and robbers.” And again praised the assembly the wisdom of the new professor. And the rector spake unto him in the French. “Marvellous like unto Spanish,” cried Owlglass. “Nay, but it is the French,” said the rector. “Then marvel I no longer,” said Owlglass; “for the French would everywhere continually have more land; and the mountains which lie betwixt France, Navarre, and Spain, would they fain have cast into the sea.” Then spake the rector to him in English. “That tongue likes me not; I fear me it is Spanish,” quoth Master Owlglass. The rector told him that it was English. “Let me hear no more on’t,” answered he; “for in England is mist and fog and snow, so that there be no marvel if that it sound like Spanish or any other. Give me,” he said unto the rector, “the honest German tongue, for that must for ever be a noble tongue and a useful.” And the assembly had great content with Owlglass; for they perceived, that truly he was a master of languages, and understood not the words so much as the intent, and that he judged of the lands by the tongues used by the inhabitants thereof. For truly, my masters, all languages are like each unto the other; for in every one will ye find liars, cozeners, knaves, cutpurses, deceivers, and beguilers, in number a great multitude. So with honour departed Owlglass.

The Seventy and Fourth Adventure

How that Owlglass did at Wismar become a horse-dealer, and beguiled a merchant

By the water at Wismar most knavishly did Owlglass beguile a horse-dealer. For unto that place came a horse-dealer, and he bought no horse unless by a certain thing he learned whether the horse was long to live. And thus did he: when that he had bargained and the price was fixed, he seized the horse by the tail, and marked, by the plucking of the tail, whether he would long live or no. For if the horse had a long tail, and he plucked him thereby, and the hair was weak, then judged he the horse would not long live. Then bought he not that horse. An if the tail were firm in the horse, then did he buy it, and believed truly that it would long live and had a hardy body. For this was a common saying at Wismar, and in it believed all people which abode there. Of this saying heard Owlglass, and upon it meditated he a great knavery; for he held it to be a thing most grave, that all error should from the folk be taken, for Owlglass would have no beguiler of the people but himself; and, my masters, was not this our good master an exemplar unto many which even unto this day have followed in his footsteps?

In the black art was our master also well grounded; therefore with rosin and blood made he a tail unto a horse, the which had no tail, and therewith gat he him to market, and there did he bid to the folk dear enough so that none would buy it. And the merchant, which plucked the horses by the tail, after that came by, and Owlglass offered it unto him at cheap rate, in all good conscience. Then the merchant looked upon the horse that it was fair, and in truth worth the money which Owlglass demanded therefor. So he came thither, and desired to pluck it by the tail. Now Owlglass had so wrought the tail, that if peradventure the dealer so plucked, the tail would therewith stay within his hand, and it should seem as if he had plucked it forth. And so also it came to pass. Then stood the merchant with the tail, and was abashed; and Owlglass cried with a loud voice: “Behold the knave, he hath plucked my horse by the tail, and lo! he hath plucked it out, and my horse hath he marred.” Then ran the townsfolk, and held the merchant, and would not let him depart until that he had satisfied Owlglass with ten crowns for the damage unto the horse. Then Owlglass went on his way rejoicing.

The Seventy and Fifth Adventure

How that Owlglass wrought a great knavery upon a pipemaker at Lüneburg

At Lüneburg abode a pipemaker, and he once had been a pedlar, and, with a pack, had trudged many a league; and this man fortuned to sit drinking his beer. And to him entered Owlglass, and much company found he there. And in jest did the pipemaker bid Owlglass to dine with him, and said unto him: “To-morrow do thou come unto meat with me, and eat that which thou wouldst have, an thou art able.” And Owlglass answered: “Yea;” and took his words to be serious, and the next day came unto the pipemaker’s house, and would have entered in and eaten at his table. But there found he that above and below was the door bolted and the windows shut. Then Owlglass walked up and down before the house a few times, until that the dinner-hour came; but the door was fast shut all this time, and he perceived that he had been beguiled of the pipemaker. So he departed from that place, and said not a word, but held his peace. And it came to pass, that on the next day Owlglass beheld the pipemaker in the market-place, and he stood before him, and spake unto him, saying: “Thou dost bid guests unto the feast, and when that they come, find they the door fast closed, so that they cannot enter therein.” Then answered the pipemaker unto Owlglass, and said unto him: “Behold, I bid thee to be my guest, but with certain words; for I said unto thee that thou shouldst eat with me, an thou wert able; but that couldst thou not, for when that thou camest were the doors shut, and thou mightst not enter therein.” “Truly,” quoth Master Owlglass, “we live and learn. That wist not I before, so have thou my thanks.” And the pipemaker laughed, and said: “Yet shalt thou not fast this day. Go thou unto my house, and, behold, there wilt thou find boiled and roast, and the doors are open. Enter therein and eat, and in no long time will I follow thee; and thou shalt be alone, and no other guest but thee will I have.” And Owlglass meditated within himself, and said, privily: “Bravely goeth this forward.” Then gat he him unto the pipemaker’s house, and findeth it as the master said unto him. And the pipemaker’s wife stood cooking by the fire. Then said Owlglass unto her: “Behold, thy good man is at the market, and hath received a great fish as a gift, and he desireth that thou shouldst depart unto him, and help him to carry it home. Meanwhile will I turn the spit for thee.” The good wife answered Owlglass, and said: “Alas! good Master Owlglass, that will I do; and with my maid will I get me quickly unto him, and soon return.” And Owlglass said: “Peace go with thee.” Then departed the good wife and her maid unto the market, and as they went forward met they the pipemaker coming towards his house; and he said unto them: “What do ye here?” And they answered, and said: “Owlglass came unto us, and bade us hasten unto thee upon the market, for thou hast had a large fish given unto thee, and thou wouldst have help to carry it home. And Owlglass hath remained in the house, and turneth the spit.” And the pipemaker waxed very wroth, and said unto his wife: “Here is a knavery. Why didst thou not stay within; for he hath not done this without thereby signifying some deceitful work. Behold, I have no fish.” Then turned they, and altogether came unto the house; and while they were conferring together, Owlglass had shut both door and windows, and that found they when that they came unto the house. Then spake the pipemaker unto his wife: “Now seest thou what manner of fish thou shouldest fetch?”