A plain and literal translation of the Arabian nights entertainments, now entituled The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night. Volume 7 (of 17)

Now when it was the Seven Hundred and Fifteenth Night,

She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Ali of Egypt put out his hand to the purse, the bells and rings jingled and Zurayk said, “Thy trick hath not deceived me; for all thou comest disguised as a groom I knew thee by the grip of thy hand on the dish and the dirhams!” So saying, he threw the lead at him, but he avoided it and it fell into the pan full of hot fish and broke it and overturned it, fat and all, upon the breast and shoulders of the Kazi, who was passing. The oil ran down inside his clothes to his privy parts and he cried out, “O my privities! What a sad pickle you are in! Alas, unhappy I! Who hath played me this trick?” Answered the people, “O our lord, it was some small boy that threw a stone into the pan: but for Allah’s ward, it had been worse.” Then they turned and seeing the loaf of lead and that it was Zurayk who had thrown it, rose against him and said to him, “O Zurayk, this is not allowed of Allah! Take down the purse or it shall go ill for thee.” Answered he, “I will take it down, Inshallah!” Meanwhile Ali returned to the barrack and told his comrades who cried, “Where is the purse?”, all that had passed and they said, “Thou hast exhausted two-thirds of his cunning.” Then he changed his groom’s dress for the garb of a merchant and going out, met a snake-charmer, with a bag of serpents and a wallet containing his kit to whom said he, “O charmer, come and amuse my lads, and thou shalt have largesse.” So he accompanied him to the barrack, where he fed him and drugging him with Bhang, doffed his clothes and put them on. Then he took the bags and repairing to Zurayk’s shop began to play the reed-pipe. Quoth Zurayk, “Allah provide thee!” But Ali pulled out the serpents and cast them down before him; whereat the fish-seller, who was afraid of snakes, fled from them into the inner shop. Thereupon Ali picked up the reptiles and, thrusting them back into the bag, stretched out his hand and caught hold of the end of the purse. The rings again rang and the bells and rattles jangled, and Zurayk cried, “Wilt thou never cease to play me tricks? Now thou feignest thyself a serpent-charmer!” So saying, he took up a piece of lead, and hurled it at Ali; but it missed him and fell on the head of a groom, who was passing by, following his master, a trooper, and knocked him down. Quoth the soldier, “Who felled him?”; and the folk said, “’Twas a stone fell from the roof.” So the soldier passed on and the people, seeing the piece of lead, went up to Zurayk and cried to him, “Take down the purse!”; and he said, “Inshallah, I will take it down this very night!” Ali ceased not to practice upon Zurayk till he had made seven different attempts but without taking the purse. Then he returned the snake-charmer his clothes and kit and gave him due benevolence; after which he went back to Zurayk’s shop and heard him say, “If I leave the purse here to-night, he will dig through the shop-wall and take it; I will carry it home with me.” So he arose and shut the shop; then he took down the purse and putting it in his bosom set out home, till he came near his house, when he saw a wedding in a neighbour’s lodging and said to himself, “I will hie me home and give my wife the purse and don my fine clothes and return to the marriage.” And Ali followed him. Now Zurayk had married a black girl, one of the freed women of the Wazir Ja’afar and she had borne him a son, whom he named Abdallah, and he had promised her to spend the money in the purse on the occasion of the boy’s circumcision and of his marriage-procession. So he went into his house and, as he entered, his wife saw that his face was overcast and asked him, “What hath caused thy sadness?” Quoth he, “Allah hath afflicted me this day with a rascal who made seven attempts to get the purse, but without avail;” and quoth she, “Give it to me, that I may lay it up against the boy’s festival-day.” (Now Ali, who had followed him lay hidden in a closet whence he could see and hear all.) So he gave her the purse and changed his clothes, saying, “Keep the purse safely, O Umm Abdallah, for I am going to the wedding.” But she said, “Take thy sleep awhile.” So he lay down and fell asleep. Presently, Ali rose and going on tiptoe to the purse, took it and went to the house of the wedding and stood there, looking on at the fun. Now meanwhile, Zurayk dreamt that he saw a bird fly away with the purse and awaking in affright, said to his wife, “Rise; look for the purse.” So she looked and finding it gone, buffeted her face and said, “Alas the blackness of thy fortune, O Umm Abdallah! A sharper hath taken the purse.” Quoth Zurayk, “By Allah it can be none other than rascal Ali who hath plagued me all day! He hath followed me home and seized the purse; and there is no help but that I go and get it back.” Quoth she, “Except thou bring it, I will lock on thee the door and leave thee to pass the night in the street.” So he went up to the house of the wedding, and seeing Ali looking on, said to himself, “This is he who took the purse; but he lodgeth with Ahmad al-Danaf.” So he forewent him to the barrack and, climbing up at the back, dropped down into the saloon, where he found every one asleep. Presently there came a rap at the door and Zurayk asked, “Who is there?” “Ali of Cairo,” answered the knocker; and Zurayk said, “Hast thou brought the purse?” So Ali thought it was Hasan Shuman and replied, “I have brought it;246 open the door.” Quoth Zurayk, “Impossible that I open to thee till I see the purse; for thy chief and I have laid a wager about it.” Said Ali, “Put out thy hand.” So he put out his hand through the hole in the side-door and Ali laid the purse in it; whereupon Zurayk took it and going forth, as he had come in, returned to the wedding. Ali stood for a long while at the door, but none opened to him; and at last he gave a thundering knock that awoke all the men and they said, “That is Ali of Cairo’s peculiar rap.” So the hall-keeper opened to him and Hasan Shuman said to him, “Hast thou brought the purse?” Replied Ali, “Enough of jesting, O Shuman: didst thou not swear that thou wouldest not open to me till I showed thee the purse, and did I not give it thee through the hole in the side door? And didst thou not say to me, I am sworn never to open the door till thou show me the purse?” Quoth Hasan, “By Allah, ’twas not I who took it, but Zurayk!” Quoth Ali, “Needs must I get it again,” and repaired to the house of the wedding, where he heard the buffoon247 say, “Bravo,248 O Abu Abdallah! Good luck to thee with thy son!” Said Ali, “My luck is in the ascendant,” and going to the fishmonger’s lodging, climbed over the back wall of the house and found his wife asleep. So he drugged her with Bhang and clad himself in her clothes. Then he took the child in his arms and went round, searching, till he found a palm-leaf basket containing buns,249 which Zurayk of his niggardliness, had kept from the Greater Feast. Presently, the fishmonger returned and knocked at the door, whereupon Ali imitated his wife’s voice and asked, “Who is at the door?” “Abu Abdallah,” answered Zurayk and Ali said, “I swore that I would not open the door to thee, except thou broughtest back the purse.” Quoth the fishmonger, “I have brought it.” Cried Ali, “Here with it into my hand before I open the door;” and Zurayk answered, saying, “Let down the basket and take it therein.” So Sharper Ali let down the basket and the other put the purse therein, whereupon Ali took it and drugged the child. Then he aroused the woman and making off by the back way as he had entered, returned with the child and the purse and the basket of cakes to the barrack and showed them all to the Forty, who praised his dexterity. Thereupon he gave them cakes, which they ate, and made over the boy to Hasan Shuman, saying, “This is Zurayk’s child; hide it by thee.” So he hid it and fetching a lamb, gave it to the hall-keeper who cooked it whole, wrapped in a cloth, and laid it out shrouded as it were a dead body. Meanwhile Zurayk stood awhile, waiting at the door, then gave a knock like thunder and his wife said to him, “Hast thou brought the purse?” He replied, “Didst thou not take it up in the basket thou diddest let down but now?”; and she rejoined, “I let no basket down to thee, nor have I set eyes on the purse.” Quoth he, “By Allah the sharper hath been beforehand with me and hath taken the purse again!” Then he searched the house and found the basket of cakes gone and the child missing and cried out, saying, “Alas, my child!” Whereupon the woman beat her breast and said, “I and thee to the Wazir, for none hath killed my son save this sharper, and all because of thee.” Cried Zurayk, “I will answer for him.” So he tied the kerchief of truce about his neck and going to Ahmad al-Danaf’s lodging, knocked at the door. The hall-keeper admitted him and as he entered Hasan Shuman asked him, “What bringeth thee here?” He answered, “Do ye intercede with Ali the Cairene to restore me my child and I will yield to him the purse of gold.” Quoth Hasan, “Allah requite thee, O Ali! Why didst thou not tell me it was his child?” “What hath befallen him?” cried Zurayk, and Hasan replied, “We gave him raisins to eat, and he choked and died; and this is he.” Quoth Zurayk “Alas, my son! What shall I say to his mother?” Then he rose and opening the shroud, saw it was a lamb barbecued and said, “Thou makest sport of me, O Ali!” Then they gave him the child and Calamity Ahmad said to him, “Thou didst hang up the purse, proclaiming that it should be the property of any sharper who should be able to take it, and Ali hath taken it; so ’tis the very property of our Cairene.” Zurayk answered, “I make him a present of it;” but Ali said to him, “Do thou accept it on account of thy niece Zaynab.” And Zurayk replied, “I accept it.” Then quoth the Forty, “We demand of thee Zaynab in marriage for Ali of Cairo;” but quoth he, “I have no control over her save of kindness.” Hasan asked, “Dost thou grant our suit?”; and he answered, “Yes, I will grant her in marriage to him who can avail to her mahr or marriage-settlement.” “And what is her dowry?” enquired Hasan; and Zurayk replied, “She hath sworn that none shall mount her breast save the man who bringeth her the robe of Kamar, daughter of Azariah the Jew and the rest of her gear.”–And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

Now when it was the Seven Hundred and Sixteenth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Zurayk replied to Shuman, “She hath sworn that none shall ride astraddle upon her breast save the man who bringeth her the clothes of Kamar, daughter of Azariah the Jew and her crown and girdle and pantoufle250 of gold,” Ali cried, “If I do not bring her the clothes this very night, I renounce my claim to her.” Rejoined Zurayk, “O Ali, thou art a dead man if thou play any of thy pranks on Kamar.” “Why so?” asked Ali and the other answered, “Her father, Jew Azariah, is a skilful, wily, perfidious magician who hath the Jinn at his service. He owneth without the city a castle, whose walls are one brick of gold and one of silver and which is visible to the folk only whilst he is therein: when he goeth forth, it disappeareth. He brought his daughter this dress I speak of from an enchanted treasure, and every day he layeth it in a charger of gold and, opening the windows of the palace, crieth out:—Where are the sharpers of Cairo, the prigs of Al-Irak, the master-thieves of Ajam-land? Whoso prevaileth to take this dress, ’tis his. So all the long fingered ones essayed the adventure, but failed to take it, and he turned them by his magic into apes and asses.” But Ali said, “I will assuredly take it, and Zaynab shall be displayed therein.”251 So he went to the shop of the Jew and found him a man of stern and forbidding aspect, seated with scales and stone-weights and gold and silver and nests of drawers and so forth before him, and a she-mule tethered hard by. Presently he rose and shutting his shop, laid the gold and silver in two purses, which he placed in a pair of saddle-bags and set on the she-mule’s back. Then he mounted and rode till he reached the city-outskirts followed, without his knowledge, by Ali, when he took out some dust from a pocket-purse and, muttering over it, sprinkled it upon the air. No sooner had he done this than sharper Ali saw a castle which had not its like, and the Jew mounted the steps upon his beast which was a subject Jinni; after which he dismounted and taking the saddle-bags off her back, dismissed the she-mule and she vanished. Then he entered the castle and sat down. Presently, he arose and opening the lattices, took a wand of gold, which he set up in the open window and, hanging thereto a golden charger by chains of the same metal, laid in it the dress, whilst Ali watched him from behind the door, and presently he cried out, saying, “Where are the sharpers of Cairo? Where are the prigs of Al-Irak, the master-thieves of the Ajam-land? Whoso can take this dress by his sleight, ’tis his!” Then he pronounced certain magical words and a tray of food spread itself before him. He ate and conjured a second time, whereupon the tray disappeared; and yet a third time, when a table of wine was placed between his hands and he drank. Quoth Ali, “I know not how I am to take the dress except if he be drunken.” Then he stole up behind the Jew whinger in grip; but the other turned and conjured, saying to his hand, “Hold with the sword;” whereupon Ali’s right arm was held and abode half-way in the air hending the hanger. He put out his left hand to the weapon, but it also stood fixed in the air, and so with his right foot, leaving him standing on one foot. Then the Jew dispelled the charm from him and Ali became as before. Presently Azariah struck a table of sand and found that the thief’s name was Mercury Ali of Cairo; so he turned to him and said, “Come nearer! Who art thou and what dost thou here?” He replied, “I am Ali of Cairo, of the band of Ahmad al-Danaf. I sought the hand of Zaynab, daughter of Dalilah the Wily, and she demanded thy daughter’s dress to her dowry; so do thou give it to me and become a Moslem, an thou wouldst save thy life.” Rejoined the Jew, “After thy death! Many have gone about to steal the dress, but failed to take it from me; wherefore an thou deign be advised, thou wilt begone and save thyself; for they only seek the dress of thee, that thou mayst fall into destruction; and indeed, had I not seen by geomancy that thy fortune overrideth my fortunes I had smitten thy neck.” Ali rejoiced to hear that his luck overcame that of the Jew and said to him, “There is no help for it but I must have the dress and thou must become a True Believer.” Asked the Jew, “Is this thy will and last word,” and Ali answered, “Yes.” So the Jew took a cup and filling it with water, conjured over it and said to Ali, “Come forth from this shape of a man into the form of an ass.” Then he sprinkled him with the water and straightway he became a donkey, with hoofs and long ears, and fell to braying after the manner of asinines. The Jew drew round him a circle which became a wall over against him, and drank on till the morning, when he said to Ali, “I will ride thee to-day and give the she-mule a rest.” So he locked up the dress, the charger, the rod and the charms in a cupboard252 and conjured over Ali, who followed him. Then he set the saddle-bags on his back and mounting, fared forth of the Castle, whereupon it disappeared from sight and he rode into Baghdad, till he came to his shop, where he alighted and emptied the bags of gold and silver into the trays before him. As for Ali, he was tied up by the shop-door, where he stood in his asinine form hearing and understanding all that passed, without being able to speak. And behold, up came a young merchant with whom fortune had played the tyrant and who could find no easier way of earning his livelihood than water-carrying. So he brought his wife’s bracelets to the Jew and said to him, “Give me the price of these bracelets, that I may buy me an ass.” Asked the Jew, “What wilt thou do with him?”; and the other answered, “O master, I mean to fetch water from the river on his back, and earn my living thereby.” Quoth the Jew, “Take this ass of mine.” So he sold him the bracelets and received the ass-shaped Ali of Cairo in part payment and carried him home. Quoth Ali to himself, “If the Ass-man clap the pannel on thee and load thee with water-skins and go with thee half a score journeys a day he will ruin thy health and thou wilt die.” So, when the water-carrier’s wife came to bring him his fodder, he butted her with his head and she fell on her back; whereupon he sprang on her and smiting her brow with his mouth, put out and displayed that which his begetter left him. She cried aloud and the neighbours came to her assistance and beat him and raised him off her breast. When her husband the intended water-carrier came home, she said to him, “Now either divorce me or return the ass to his owner.” He asked, “What hath happened?”; and she answered, “This is a devil in the guise of a donkey. He sprang upon me, and had not the neighbours beaten him off my bosom he had done with me a foul thing.” So he carried the ass back to the Jew, who said to him, “Wherefore hast thou brought him back?” and he replied, “He did a foul thing with my wife.” So the Jew gave him his money again and he went away; and Azariah said to Ali, “Hast thou recourse to knavery, unlucky wretch that thou art, in order that”–And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

Now when it was the Seven Hundred and Seventeenth Night,

She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the water-carrier brought back the ass, its Jew owner returned to him the monies and turning to Ali of Cairo said, “Hast thou recourse to knavery, unlucky wretch that thou art, in order that he may return thee to me? But since it pleaseth thee to be an ass, I will make thee a spectacle and a laughing stock to great and small.” Then he mounted him and rode till he came without the city, when he brought out the ashes in powder and conjuring over it sprinkled it upon the air and immediately the Castle appeared. He entered and taking the saddle-bags off the ass’s back set up the rod and hung to it the charger wherein were the clothes proclaiming aloud, “Where be the clever ones of all quarters who may avail to take this dress?” Then he conjured as before and meat was set before him and he ate and then wine when he drank; after which he took a cup of water and muttering certain words thereover, sprinkled it on the ass Ali, saying, “Quit this form and return to thy former shape.” Ali straightway became a man once more and Azariah said to him, “O Ali, take good advice and be content with my mischief. Thou hast no call to marry Zaynab nor to take my daughter’s dress, for ’tis no easy matter for thee: so leave greed and ’twill be better for thee; else will I turn thee into a bear or an ape or set on thee an Ifrit, who will cast thee behind the Mountain Kaf.” He replied, “I have engaged to take the dress and needs must I have it and thou must Islamize or I will slay thee.” Rejoined the Jew, “O Ali, thou art like a walnut; unless it be broken it cannot be eaten.” Then he took a cup of water and conjuring over it, sprinkled Ali with somewhat thereof, saying, “Take thou shape of bear;” whereupon he instantly became a bear and the Jew put a collar about his neck, muzzled him and chained him to a picket of iron. Then he sat down and ate and drank, now and then throwing him a morsel of his orts and emptying the dregs of the cup over him, till the morning, when he rose and laid by the tray and the dress and conjured over the bear, which followed him to the shop. There the Jew sat down and emptied the gold and silver into the trays before Ali, after binding him by the chain; and the bear there abode seeing and comprehending but not able to speak. Presently up came a man and a merchant, who accosted the Jew and said to him, “O Master, wilt thou sell me yonder bear? I have a wife who is my cousin and is sick; and they have prescribed for her to eat bears’ flesh and anoint herself with bears’ grease.” At this the Jew rejoiced and said to himself, “I will sell him to this merchant, so he may slaughter him and we be at peace from him.” And Ali also said in his mind, “By Allah, this fellow meaneth to slaughter me; but deliverance is with the Almighty.” Then said the Jew, “He is a present from me to thee.” So the merchant took him and carried him to the butcher, to whom he said, “Bring thy tools and company me.” The butcher took his knives and followed the merchant to his house, where he bound the beast and fell to sharpening his blade: but, when he went up to him to slaughter him, the bear escaped from his hands and rising into the air, disappeared from sight between heaven and earth; nor did he cease flying till he alighted at the Jew’s castle. Now the reason thereof was on this wise. When the Jew returned home, his daughter questioned him of Ali and he told her what had happened; whereupon she said, “Summon a Jinni and ask him of the youth, whether he be indeed Mercury Ali or another who seeketh to put a cheat on thee.” So Azariah called a Jinni by conjurations and questioned him of Ali; and he replied, “’Tis Ali of Cairo himself. The butcher hath pinioned him and whetted his knife to slaughter him.” Quoth the Jew, “Go, snatch him up and bring him hither, ere the butcher cut his throat.” So the Jinni flew off and, snatching Ali out of the butcher’s hands, bore him to the palace and set him down before the Jew, who took a cup of water and conjuring over it, sprinkled him therewith, saying, “Return to thine own shape.” And he straightway became a man again as before. The Jew’s daughter Kamar,253 seeing him to be a handsome young man, fell in love with him and he fell in love with her; and she said to him, “O unlucky one, why dost thou go about to take my dress, enforcing my father to deal thus with thee?” Quoth he, “I have engaged to get it for Zaynab the Coney-catcher, that I may wed her therewith.” And she said, “Others than thou have played pranks with my father to get my dress, but could not win to it,” presently adding, “So put away this thought from thee.” But he answered, “Needs must I have it, and thy father must become a Moslem, else I will slay him.” Then said the Jew, “See, O my daughter, how this unlucky fellow seeketh his own destruction,” adding, “Now I will turn thee into a dog.” So he took a cup graven with characters and full of water and conjuring over it, sprinkled some of it upon Ali, saying, “Take thou form of dog.” Whereupon he straightway became a dog, and the Jew and his daughter drank together till the morning, when the father laid up the dress and charger and mounted his mule. Then he conjured over the dog, which followed him, as he rode towards the town, and all dogs barked at Ali254 as he passed, till he came to the shop of a broker, a seller of second-hand goods, who rose and drove away the dogs, and Ali lay down before him. The Jew turned and looked for him, but finding him not, passed onwards. Presently, the broker shut up his shop and went home, followed by the dog, which, when his daughter saw enter the house, she veiled her face and said, “O my papa, dost thou bring a strange man in to me?” He replied, “O my daughter, this is a dog.” Quoth she, “Not so, ’tis Ali the Cairene, whom the Jew Azariah hath enchanted;” and she turned to the dog and said to him, “Art not Ali of Cairo?” And he signed to her with his head, “Yes.” Then her father asked her, “Why did the Jew enchant him?”; and she answered, “Because of his daughter Kamar’s dress; but I can release him.” Said the broker, “An thou canst indeed do him this good office, now is the time,” and she, “If he will marry me, I will release him.” And he signed to her with his head, “Yes.” So she took a cup of water, graven with certain signs and conjuring over it, was about to sprinkle Ali therewith, when lo and behold! she heard a great cry and the cup fell from her hand. She turned and found that it was her father’s handmaid, who had cried out; and she said to her, “O my mistress, is’t thus thou keepest the covenant between me and thee? None taught thee this art save I, and thou didst agree with me that thou wouldst do naught without consulting me and that whoso married thee should marry me also, and that one night should be mine and one night thine.” And the broker’s daughter said, “’Tis well.” When the broker heard the maid’s words, he asked his daughter, “Who taught the maid?”; and she answered, “O my papa, enquire of herself.” So he put the question and she replied, “Know, O my lord, that, when I was with Azariah the Jew, I used to spy upon him and listen to him, when he performed his gramarye; and when he went forth to his shop in Baghdad, I opened his books and read in them, till I became skilled in the Cabbala-science. One day, he was warm with wine and would have me lie with him, but I objected, saying, I may not grant thee this except thou become a Moslem. He refused and I said to him, Now for the Sultan’s market.255 So he sold me to thee and I taught my young mistress, making it a condition with her that she should do naught without my counsel, and that whoso might wed her should wed me also, one night for me and one night for her.” Then she took a cup of water and conjuring over it, sprinkled the dog therewith; saying, “Return thou to form of man.” And he straightway was restored to his former shape; whereupon the broker saluted him with the salam and asked him the reason of his enchantment. So Ali told him all that had passed–And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.