Her Baby, His Proposal

Who could blame her for ignoring all symptoms and the possibility of pregnancy for as long as possible? She’d become so good at pretending, she hadn’t considered what her run-down condition meant to the baby. A new kind of fear cut like ice. She began to shudder as she prayed her ignorance and neglect hadn’t harmed her baby.

His large, warm hand settled over hers on the seat. “You’re not alone tonight.”

He kept his promise. Brock never left Jesse alone. Not in the waiting room, not in the emergency room, not for a moment. Not until he was asked to step outside the cubicle while the doctor conducted his exam did Brock leave her side. Even then he only left after she indicated she’d be okay without him.

Dr. Wilcox, an older gentleman with white hair and a Vandyke beard, gently poked and probed, asked a few more questions, extremely personal questions she was happy Brock wasn’t around to hear.

Of course, once a girl revealed she’d been left high and dry at her most vulnerable moment, she had few secrets left worth keeping. Answering when she last had a period, when she last engaged in intercourse were small potatoes after that.

Staring at the overhead light while the doctor completed his exam, Jesse bit off a humorless laugh. She’d already volunteered that last information to Brock.

Yeah, she was definitely on her stride today.

“You can sit up now,” Dr. Wilcox told her. After explaining she was dehydrated, he had a nurse hook her up to an IV. He then called Brock back to join them.

“Ms. Manning, I can confirm you are pregnant.”

The doctor continued to speak, but she didn’t hear another word as her mind, her heart, her soul dealt with the reality of a child growing within her.

In a single instant love filled her to overflowing, full tears flooded her eyes and her hands, cradled over her child, began to shake. She forgot every moment of denial, regretted every harsh thought as joy and wonder replaced doubt and fear.

A sense of belonging, deeper than any she’d ever known, forged an unbreakable bond between her and her baby. Silently she vowed never to let her child down.

“Ms. Manning, are you listening?” Dr. Wilcox demanded.

Jesse blinked and focused on him. “Excuse me?”

Brock reached for her hand and squeezed. “You should start over, Doctor.”

“You’re going to have to take better care of yourself.” His chastising look included Brock before the doctor turned his attention back to Jesse.

“As well as being dehydrated, you have a kidney infection, and your blood is low in iron. From what you tell me, you’re just over two months along. Still in the first trimester, which is the most dangerous time for the fetus.”

He leveled a stern gaze on Jesse that made her feel no bigger than a gnat and smaller still when he again moved the same stare to Brock who was innocent of any wrongdoing.

“You don’t understand, Doctor—”

He held up a finger, stopping her explanation. “It’s not up to me to understand, young lady. If you want to keep this baby, you need to make some changes. My recommendation is at least twenty-four hours’ bed rest, followed by a month of light activity.”

“A month…” Jesse whispered, appalled at the thought of the time off work.

“Get lots of rest, eat regular meals. I’m prescribing prenatal vitamins and iron. Drink lots of water. Cranberry juice is also good for kidney infection.” He scribbled on a pad as he spoke, then handed her the paper. “I want you to finish the IV, and I suggest you see an obstetrician soon.”

He stood, tucked the pad and pen in his coat pocket. “Good luck, Ms. Manning.” He shook her hand, nodded at Brock and left the cubicle.

Jesse pleated the paper, running her fingers over the crease again and again until Brock reached over and took it from her and placed it in her purse.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She glanced up at him, aware she owed him an apology for the assumptions the doctor had made and the condemnation he’d shown Brock. He didn’t deserve to be cast as the bad guy when he’d done nothing but help her.

She reached for his hand. Without hesitation he wrapped his larger hand around hers and lowered himself into the chair the doctor had vacated. Her fingers felt very small in Brock’s grip, and it struck her again how strong and capable he was. She’d always be grateful to him for staying with her through this unreal night.

Forcing a smile for his benefit, she said, “Thank you so much for your help. Ever since I fainted everything has seemed surreal.” She met his direct gaze, fearing contempt but finding only sympathy. “Just having you here, seeing a familiar face helped to keep me grounded.”

“If having me here helped, I’m glad,” he said simply.

“You’ll never know how much.” Torturing her lip while uncertainty tortured her insides, she looked away. “I’m sorry the doctor blamed—”

“Stop right there.” He squeezed her fingers. “You are not responsible for what the doctor thinks.”

“But—”

“Jesse you can’t take on every misinformed person out there. Life is too short for that kind of burden. Let it go.”

“I’m still sorry. And I want you to know you don’t have to stay here with me any longer.”

He made no move to leave. “I’ll stay to see you home.”

Yes, please. She really didn’t want to be in this cold, sterile place alone. Where the people were impersonal and judgmental. But the saline solution in the IV dripped slower than molasses, and she couldn’t ask him to waste any more of his night on her. Especially when she saw the clock read 1:00 a.m.

“You’ve done enough. Besides I’m a big girl. I’ll find my own way home.”

He sat back in the chair, crossed his arms over his impressive chest and leveled a chief’s stare on her. “How? Taking the bus?”

“No.” She checked on the status of her drip, unable to look him in the eye as she lied. “A cab.”

A gentle finger under her chin turned her back to him. “Don’t start messing with me now, Jesse. No way are you paying for a cab when you’re already worried about how you’re going to take time off work for a month.”

Embarrassment heated her skin at being caught. But that didn’t mean he was obligated to stay.

A sweep of his thumb chased the red over her cheek, causing the heat to intensify. For a moment their gazes locked and held. Finally she lowered her eyes before she gave in to his persistence and begged him to stay.

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted.

He stood.

Instantly a flood of disappointment rushed through her. He was leaving. This time she couldn’t even fake a smile.

She swallowed back tears. “Bye.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Except the cafeteria. Would you like me to bring you something? You never got your burger.”

Jesse stared at him, horrified. “Oh my God. All night you’ve been with me. You haven’t eaten.”

He winked at her. “It’s not the first time. I’ll survive. Will you be all right if I leave for a few minutes?”

“Of course.”

“What would you like?”

Her stomach hadn’t settled enough to like the thought of food. “Maybe some crackers if you can find some. And cranberry juice.”

“Sure thing. Why don’t you close your eyes and rest while I’m gone.”

“I will.” She nodded, though she didn’t really want him to go.

She felt safe with him near, comforted by his concern. Without him the hospital was a cold, sterile place. But he would be out of her life soon enough; she needed to start getting used to the idea.

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS nearly two when Brock helped Jesse to her door. He frowned as he surveyed the run-down condition of the apartment complex. Not surprising, considering the area.

More asleep than awake, Jesse stumbled. He moved his hand from her elbow to her waist to help her up the stairs to the second floor. The night had taken a toll on her, both emotionally and physically.

He felt the weight of fatigue himself after a twenty-hour day. And with his crew shipping out in a few days, he needed to be up and alert again in less than four hours.

Plus the sooner he delivered her into the safe haven of her home and got back to his life the better. She was a sweet kid—older than he’d originally thought but with twelve years between them, still a kid.

Music, loud in the early-morning stillness, beat behind the door Jesse stopped beside. A resigned look of disgust deepened the exhaustion on her face.

She blocked his path with a hand on his chest and tried for a smile no more successful than the pathetic attempts she’d made at the hospital. There wasn’t a whole lot of pretense about Jesse.

“Thanks for all your help tonight.” She hesitated as if wanting to say more, but she only opened the door and stepped inside. Behind her, smoke filled the room, thick and cloying. Three people, two men and a woman, sprawled across the mismatched furniture. Hip-hop came from a stereo on top of a plastic crate doing duty as a coffee table.

When the smoke hit Jesse, she went white then green.

With a bravery that told him of the effort it cost her, she lifted her chin and said goodbye.

“I won’t forget what you did for me. Have a nice life.”

Brock made it all the way back to the top of the stairs before his conscience got the better of him. Perhaps his memories of Sherry made him more sensitive tonight, but he couldn’t leave Jesse to deal with that crowd alone.

If he’d listened to his gut and his brother sixteen years ago, he wouldn’t have destroyed the most important things in his life. In one fell swoop he lost his fiancée, his future and his family’s respect.

The thought of spending the next six months haunted by Jesse’s courageous brown eyes turned Brock around. Determined strides carried him back to apartment 2B. He knocked, then stepped inside. The three in the living room looked at him with dazed disinterest.

“Hey, man.” A limp young man with greasy brown hair roused enough to notice Brock. “You bring any with you?”

Brock ignored him, convinced he’d done the right thing in coming back for Jesse. He headed for the hall and the bedrooms figuring she’d go straight to bed. A movement to the left drew his attention. She sat at the kitchen table, her head in her hands.

She looked up when he stopped beside her. The fire of anger burned through the tears pooled in her whiskey-bright eyes. “Someone’s in my bed.”

He hunkered down to her level and ran a soothing hand over her thick amber hair. “Which room is yours?”

“The one on the right.”

“Get your purse and jacket. I’ll be right back.” He pushed to his feet.

She grabbed his wrist. “Brock, it’s okay.”

He gently pried her fingers free and placed her hand on the table. “No, it’s not. You’d better get what you need from the bathroom, as well. I’m taking you to my place for the night. I have an extra room in my condo. You can stay there.”

In the hall, too grand a name for the four-foot-long space, he flipped open the door on the right and flicked on the lights. On the bed a man and woman sprang apart.

“Hey,” the man yelped in outrage. “Get out. This room is occupied.”

The woman grabbed the sheet to cover herself. The man yanked a pillow into his lap.

“Not anymore,” Brock told him in the tone he reserved for raw recruits, sparing a glance for the woman. “Get dressed and get out. This room doesn’t belong to you.”

“Tracy said we could use it.” The man muttered belligerently.

“Tracy doesn’t pay the rent for this room. Jesse does. Do you have Jesse’s permission to be here? No. So get dressed and leave. Now.”

The couple glared at him, making no move to follow his directive. Brock put them from his mind. He went to the closet and pulled out a sport duffel. Going to the bureau, he filled the bag with the essentials he thought Jesse would need for the night.

He returned to the kitchen where she waited. She had her purse in her lap, her coat over her arm and a cosmetic bag on the table next to her.

“Ready?” he asked, reaching for her coat to help her into it.

Behind him the man and woman exited Jesse’s room, went to the front door and left. Brock ignored them and the dark looks they sent his way.

Jesse watched them go, her total lack of expression telling him the extent of her weariness. “They’re gone. I don’t have to go now.”

Funny, she didn’t sound relieved. Then he saw her glance distastefully down the hall toward her room. Obviously, she found the thought of sleeping in a bed recently used for recreational purposes less than appealing.

It didn’t matter. No way he was leaving her here.

“Can you walk or should I carry you?”

“You’ve already done too much,” she protested. Pride showed in the lift of her chin even as tear-heavy brown eyes pleaded with him.

But pleaded for what? Did she want him to leave her alone or insist on her compliance? She sadly overestimated his stamina if she thought he had the ability, or patience, to read minds at this time of night.

“Jesse,” a shrill voice called above the music. “Who is this guy? Where’s Tad?”

Brock turned his attention to the living area where the washed-out blond woman perched on the edge of a brown plaid couch. He met her suspicious gaze impassively. Finally, a show of concern on Jesse’s behalf. He’d begun to wonder if she had anyone who cared about her, who’d be there to help her through a difficult pregnancy.

Maybe she did just want him to leave.

“My roommate, Tracy,” Jesse told him and then raised her voice to say, “Tad’s gone.”

The woman frowned. She reached out and turned off the stereo. Blessed silence followed.

“What did you say?” Her shrill attitude made him wish for the music back. “Where’s Tad?”

“Gone,” Jesse informed her flatly. “He left.”

“Left where?” Tracy demanded. She licked her lips. “He usually brings the beer. Why are you home so early, anyway? I figured you’d taken a second shift.”

So much for the roommate’s concern.

“And what?” Jesse demanded. “You decided to throw a party?” The bite in the question didn’t quite disguise the underlying disillusionment. “You told me this morning you were going to work a second shift to pay back the money you borrowed for the rent.”

Tracy answered with a dismissive shrug. “There’s plenty of time to make that up before rent is due again.”

During all he’d seen her go through tonight, Jesse had lifted that delicate chin and kept on going. Now, for the first time, defeat stole the life from her expression.

He reached for her as her strength gave out and she went limp in his arms.

She looked up as if seeking reassurance from him. Then she blinked and the hope disappeared. “Please take me away from here.”

That’s all he needed to hear. He hooked the shoulder strap of her sport bag over his shoulder, then thrust her purse and cosmetic bag into her hands. But she stopped him when he would have swept her into his arms.

“I’m walking out of here on my own steam.”

“Let’s go.” He nodded approval before he opened the door, and they were in the clean night air on the way home.

Jesse slept the day away. She’d been beyond thought, beyond emotion by the time Brock tucked her between the clean sheets of his spare bed.

“I have duty in a few hours.” He’d competently and impersonally helped her strip off her blouse, skirt and shoes. “Sleep as long as you want. Don’t leave this bed except to use the bathroom and for meals. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I’ll be back around six.”

She dragged the covers up to her chin. On principle she should protest his high-handed attitude, but sleeping for the next twelve hours sounded like heaven so she didn’t.

A thought nagged at the back of her mind, and she finally came up with the memory of work.

“I have first shift tomorrow.”

“The doctor said no work.” He turned the switch on the bedside lamp until only the dim light in the base lit the room. “I’ll call Stan in the morning and let him know you’ll be out for two weeks.”

She’d been going to protest—no way she could miss work—but the next thing she knew, she awoke to sunlight streaming around closed blinds.

She fought the waking, clinging to unconsciousness to combat the aches and pains waiting for her on the other side. Already the throbbing behind her eyeballs put a dent in her defenses.

In the end the need for the bathroom lost her the war.

Dragging her body out of bed, holding her tender head, she stumbled around until she found the navy-blue and pewter bathroom. Right where Brock Sullivan had told her it would be.

And it all came flowing back to her. The baby. Tad’s leaving. The disaster at her place last night.

She didn’t remember the part where she got hit by the truck, the two-trailer semi, but it must have happened because that’s what her body felt like.

The cool water felt so good against the skin of her hands, she splashed her face, too. And that felt wonderful, too. Then she remembered coming to, on the floor of the Green Garter, and the skanky feeling of strangers having sex in her bed. The mirror reflected the navy-blue shower curtain behind her. That’s all the encouragement she needed to step out of her bra and panties and under the shower spray. For a few blessed moments she forgot everything else, even the memory of Brock stripping her of her clothes last night.

He’d truly seen her at her lowest. At least, she hoped it was her lowest.

What was she going to do? She had a baby growing inside her. She cupped her lower belly as the warm water ran over her. But the doctor said if she wanted to save the baby, she needed to rest and take it easy.

How was she going to take care of herself and the baby if she couldn’t work?

By getting off her feet was the first answer, so she shut off the water, dried off, then wore the towel to the corner of the bedroom where Brock had thrown her bag. She searched through it twice, but he’d forgotten to include a nightie. The thought of tight jeans or shorts didn’t appeal, so she pulled on clean panties and went in search of a T-shirt from Brock’s room.

The gray carpeting in the hall moved right into his room. Black replaced the navy in here. Black, square-edged furniture topped the light-gray carpeting, while a pewter-gray comforter covered the bed he hadn’t bothered to make this morning. Probably because he only got three hours of sleep last night.

The room smelled like him. Clean and masculine. It made her skin prickle. She’d been surrounded by that scent last night, and she was reminded of his strength and competency. She felt safe with him and cared for. And she wanted the feeling again.

So instead of searching for a clean shirt, she reached for the one tossed across a black chair. She held the white cotton to her nose and inhaled. Yes, that was his male scent. She pulled the shirt over her head and sighed. Better already.

Next she went to the kitchen where she took her vitamins with a full bottle of water. Then she drank a glass of cranberry juice that Brock had stopped for on their way to his place in the early hours of the morning.

Her energy gave out on her at that point, and she crashed back into bed.

“Excuse me, Chief. Do you have a minute, sir?”

Brock signed his authorization on a requisition, handed off the clipboard and turned his attention to the seaman apprentice waiting for a response. “What can I do for you, Sanchez?”

The young sailor glanced around nervously. Blood rose up his neck turning his swarthy complexion a ruddy brown. He cleared his throat, stretched his neck.

Brock’s attention sharpened. “What is it, sailor? You have something to report?”

“No, sir.” Another throat clearing. “Chief…sir, I was wondering…” He trailed off, took a deep breath, and grinned real big. “I’m getting married, sir, tomorrow. Would you be my best man, sir?”

Brock crossed his arms over his chest and fixed his concentration on his crewmember. Sea tours often provoked rushed marriages. In Brock’s experience most such marriages failed to go the distance.

“Have you thought this through, Sanchez? Are you sure you don’t want to wait until you get back? It’s only a few months.”

“No, man—I mean, no, sir.” Sanchez didn’t shuffle his feet, but Brock could tell it was a near thing. “I want to do this now. I love Angela. You made me see that when you made me question why I was always so jealous of her. I want to marry her.” He lowered his voice. “She’s pregnant. I want her to have good benefits, you know, while I’m gone.”

For all his nervousness, Sanchez projected an aura of excitement. And he was stepping up, being responsible. Brock couldn’t fault the young sailor for taking action like a man. Brock held out his hand.

“Congratulations. Sure I’ll be your best man. Just tell me when and where.”

Jesse woke up feeling human again. She was hungry, which she took as a good sign. Back in the kitchen she cut up an apple. Wanting a change of scenery from the bedroom, she carried her snack to the couch and put her feet up.

For the next hour and a half she tried to come up with a solution to her problem but still had no answers of how she could survive without working when Brock walked through the door at six.

Just seeing him lifted her spirits. A weird experience, one she’d truly never had before. Not at home, not with Tad. But here it was with this stranger at a time in her life when she needed it most.

Too bad it had to end so soon. No doubt he meant to take her home as soon as he got cleaned up. Not that he looked bad. He wore a beige uniform, short-sleeved with lots of bars on the arm. It gave him an aura of power and authority.

He came into the living room when he saw her and sat on the coffee table to survey her.

Self-conscious under his intense, blue scrutiny, she smiled shyly.

He nodded. “You’re looking better. How do you feel?”

“Rested.”

“That’s good.” He hit his thighs and rose to his feet. “I’m going to fix us some dinner, then we’ll talk.”

Talk? What did they have to talk about? She appreciated everything he’d done for her, but she wasn’t his responsibility and she couldn’t continue to allow him to take on her problems.

With that in mind she returned to the room he’d given her, made the bed and changed into her own clothes. She sat on the bed when she finished, amazed by how weak the slightest effort made her.

She hadn’t called Stan today because Brock had said he would and because she didn’t know what she was going to say when she finally talked to him. She knew she should consider alternatives to keeping her baby, not only for her sake but for the baby’s, as well.

The love she already felt prevented her from exploring any other option. It may be selfish of her, but her heart demanded no other decision.

If that’s what Brock meant to talk about, he could save his breath. She’d already made up her mind.

He grilled steaks, tossed a salad and baked potatoes. She ate a few bites of each, not managing more as she’d eaten the apple only a short while ago. She enjoyed watching him, the flex of muscle as he cut his meat, the strong movement of his jaw as he chewed, the focused concentration with which he did both.

He told her of his day, entertaining her with the comic antics of his crew as they got ready to ship out. She laughed, as he meant her to, but under the humor she grew saddened to hear he’d be leaving soon.

Oh no, she caught herself before the thought went any further. She had no business having feelings regarding him one way or another.

Hadn’t she learned anything from Tad running out on her and their child? She should be cursing all men as scum. Look at the examples in her life. Her father had been a disinterested spectator, Tad a disinterested parasite, and tomorrow Stan would probably turn out to be a disinterested employer.