The next time you find yourself in a particularly lucid state of mind, ask yourself honestly what really matters to you. What is most important? What do you consider desirable? Value is often used to describe the tangible cost of something. But clarifying your values goes beyond cost and return on investment. Values are the measure of the relative meaningfulness of things more important than money alone.
What value do you assign to health? When you don’t have it, it is worth far more than fame and fortune. But is health more important than family? And where does freedom fit into your evaluation? People raised in a middle-class environment might aspire to wealth, only to find it incongruous with their self-image. A radical environmentalist may be unwilling to lead a corporation that wastes natural resources.
Some personal values shift with the wind, while others are deep and abiding. Some values apply to all people, while others are unique to each individual. Some values are universal. Without exception, people are born sweet and loving. Our pure human nature is happy and optimistic, but that natural aliveness erodes over time. Each person must find his or her own path to restoring and maintaining that quality.
An active person might find happiness through action, while a passive person might find it through rest and contemplation. Each person has a built-in temperament. Every parent knows that two children sharing the same mother and father can have radically different dispositions. There are strong variations in sensitivity, character, and activity level. Yet all people share an innate respect for life. Our need to grow and to connect with others is hardwired into our systems.
Personal values appear in early childhood. They are woven into the fabric of our muscles and nerves as we grow. Much of what is considered our mind is muscle memory. From our parents and community we learn to define ourselves with certain attitudes and beliefs that become deeply held convictions. We view time and money through the filters of our culture. Hopes and fears create deep moods which form our personalities. People who suffer poverty early in life often feel insecure as adults, even if they are actually successful. Unconscious feelings color every transaction.
Personal values are the secret ingredient in wealth. If you can train yourself to have courage, alertness and humility you can win the success game. Those who were raised by entrepreneurs in a stable family environment are likely to have more of the personality characteristics required for success. The rest of us have to find role models to help us develop that perspective. Too many people have trained their minds to make excuses and blame their situation on others. If they spent half as much time getting results as they spend fabricating reasons for failure, they would be rich.
Each time you approach success, personality glitches surface to destroy your best laid plans. There simply aren’t enough years in a lifetime to correct all of these flaws. However, you can compensate for your weaknesses by building character as you earn. The first challenge is to uncover your true values, both positive and negative.
Your talent determines your potential success, but it is your personality that determines your actual achievements. You can change your personality if you are willing to go through a powerful crisis. It requires facing up to how wrong you are and it goes against your deepest feelings of what is right. Right now, the final conclusion of all of your thoughts is that you are right and everyone else is wrong. It is an expensive argument. You can be right or you can be rich. Ultimately, you will be one or the other.
Personality values are stubborn traits because we believe they reflect who we really are. If you identify yourself as a nice person, you probably believe your own press. Unconsciously, you expect other people to act nice as well. The trait of forcefulness becomes taboo, rendering you unable to lead people in a difficult or dangerous situation.
Negative personality values include prejudice and bigotry. People who hate because of race or religion find it extremely hard to let go of feelings they have most likely shared with family members and friends since childhood.
Ego values exist more on the surface. On top of our core and personality values, we carry superficial values related to style or preference. These are shallow social values learned from peers. If a persona is the mask we wear in society, ego is the makeup. It exists in the way we use words to make ourselves seem important. These are childish values that give way to reason. You can change them easily if you are willing to endure the embarrassment of seeing yourself as others see you.
Ego values are related to false pride. Some of them are fun: Who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and going out with friends? And don’t we all love to tell stories that make us look good? Other ego values present galling limitations. The ego wants to exclude people who are different. That kind of thinking can damage one’s career.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
We are attracted to other people who share our values. Wealthy people make friends with other wealthy people. Prosperity begins with an appreciation for money and the things it can buy. People who share that value are attracted by superior products. They dress alike and live in similar homes.
Entrepreneurs share certain values that are recognized and appreciated by other free agents. They tend to be thrifty and generous at the same time. They keep expenses low, yet they reward performance generously. We have heard reports from entrepreneurs about the difficulty of hiring corporate people. It seems that big company folks have a habit of busting small business budgets with high priced meeting rooms and marketing schemes that bring no clear return on investment. Reality-based values are the difference between survival and disaster for entrepreneurs.
When you build the web of connections that will determine your future, look for people who have the values you desire to have for yourself. Values determine compatibility. If yours don’t match up with those of potential partners, you won’t get along for very long.
To attract compatible people, communicate what is important to you. Declare aloud the values that bring you fulfillment. Let everyone know where you stand, or risk unconsciously deceiving other people. You can’t build a successful business or a happy life with people who don’t share your values.
Beware of self-deception and double binds. Imagine, for instance, a father whose most important value is his family. He wants to provide for them and works long hours to do so. But at the end of the work day, he is too tired to spend time with them. If you understand your priorities clearly, you can begin to design a lifestyle that protects what is really meaningful.
Most people’s careers begin with an accident and unfold as a tragedy. You may have taken a test and scored high in a certain area, so your guidance counselor designed your education to follow that tendency. Or perhaps your parents wanted you to be something they, not you, could be proud of. On every step along the way, someone else was making a design for you. When you finally arrived at your career, it may not have been the one you would have chosen. If so you must assess your values all over again.
It takes courage to declare what matters most to you. People close to you may be shocked when you affirm your values. But when this piece is in place, your dream has begun. You have established roots.
UNIVERSAL VALUES
The values of business have evolved over centuries through tribes and villages in bazaars and marketplaces. Over the centuries we have learned how to understand the needs of others.
The first two needs that must be fulfilled in business are trust and pleasure. Before people spend money, they must first have trust. Earning the trust of your customers and associates is the first order of business for an entrepreneur. Honesty is the foundation of integrity. Business systems based on corruption eventually fall.
The golden rule is your best counsel. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Treating other people the way you want to be treated isn’t just a good philosophy; it’s good business.
Work with honest associates. Finally, you will be judged by the company you keep. How people perceive you and your team determines whether or not they will use your product or service.
Price also sets the tone for the value of your product. While the lowest economic rung of society spends their money based on the price of the product alone, the wealthier portion of society is developing a more sophisticated set of values: they are attracted by quality, and they are willing to pay for it.
Once trust is established, people need pleasure. Babies that are untouched as infants grow slower and suffer more illness than those that are held and caressed. People require sensory gratification. After survival needs are fulfilled, recreation needs take precedence. Perhaps that is why the most important U.S. export is films. Entertainment is good for the soul.
Values actually stem from physiological sensations. Our bodies crave pleasure. We want to play and be happy. We perform best when we achieve a complete emotional release that enables us to perform on the stage of life with abandon.
HIGHER VALUES
The new service economy is based on entrepreneurs who spend most of their waking hours trying to figure out better ways to serve consumers. This application of human inventiveness is changing society for the better. Our culture is less focused on exploitation of people and more focused on serving them. Rather than trying to win at the expense of others, we are learning to create greater value for one another. The changes in business reflect a new maturity.
In this positive new environment, we strive for perfection. We expect exquisite service. Poor service still occurs, but now we can make a distinction when it works and when it doesn’t. Humanity is achieving a new standard of excellence.
These new standards lift us up. Higher values offer a defense against our own deterioration and mortality. They lend greater dignity to our existence. By discovering your own values, you gain perspective on what service or product you can provide. Digging beneath the mind chatter and getting down to what really matters in your world requires asking yourself some tough questions.
What matters for humanity? What contribution can you make with your life? How do you feel about dying? Do you have a specific fear regarding death? What do you resist about dying? Is there anything you would give up your life for? Addressing these questions is vital, because having something worth dying for means having something worth living for. What matters enough to you that you would commit your entire life to it? How can you organize a business around something that matters that much to you?
Use these questions to create new possibilities. If you had only a year to live, what would you do with your remaining months? How would you spend your time? What would take priority? What if you were given only a month to live? If you were certain you had only thirty days left, where would you direct your attention? How many days would you schedule for self-pity?
And what if you had only a day or one hour, what would take priority? How you answer these questions is the beginning of a lifelong search for determining your own values. Effective living requires an exploration of your relationship with your own mortality.
There are absolute values coded into your body type and cultural patterns. The more closely you conform to your ideal values, the more alive you will feel. Your perceived value to other people can be measured by accounting for the vitality you experience in your body and by the physical energy you generate in your employees and clients.
When you live according to your highest values, you achieve fearlessness. You may still feel moments of anxiety, but you stare them down. You experience a release from your mental arguments and conflicts. A larger perspective begins to soothe the savage within.
MISSION
According to Albert Schweitzer, those who find happiness are those who have a sufficient purpose. When you distill your values into a challenging purpose, your mission appears.
Before you can hit a target, you need a clear aim. Your mission is a life game that attracts like-minded people to participate in fulfilling your values. By combining your values into one coherent mission, you create a purpose that provides direction for your life. That mission brings together people who share the same values and gives them a way to help each other achieve what they all desire.
Your mission is your personal vision. It may be lofty and wonderful, or it may be simple and sweet. Some people want to change the world, while others may be more interested in earning a decent living or raising a family.
Vision means clarity. Your mission isn’t a mental image, but rather an ability to give your attention to events in the real, physical world. You become successful by seeing things as they are. To succeed, you can’t afford to harbor any illusions about your limitations. What one person can achieve, another can surpass. Viewing yourself as a small player won’t inspire others to join you on your mission.
Reach for great achievements. Make your mission a mighty one. Live your life as a series of amazing events. Throw parties. Schedule trips. Meet the people you admire. Become the person that other people admire. Organize people and events to serve your higher purpose. Goethe’s voice echoes through the ages, reminding us that boldness has genius in it.
Vision means looking to the road ahead. Remaining within the boundaries of your path allows you to more easily enjoy passion and pleasure. When you stray from your natural direction, your body signals you with fear and pain. Over time, pleasurable impulses provide frames of reference that focus your attention and keep you on track. Good sensations are linked to behaviors and procedures that accomplish your aspirations. Your senses provide the feedback that keeps you on course.
When you are focused on your mission, you won’t have much time for conflict. That kind of attentiveness is riveting. It makes you a better person. Your commitment inspires other people. You become so enlivened by living your values and fulfilling your purpose that people ignite their own careers by association with you. Your magnetism increases in proportion to the scope of your mission.
Your purpose sets the tone for your life; it focuses your allies on the same channel. A compelling mission creates attraction. It defines a game that aligns people and encourages them to tell others about your business.
When numerous individuals combine their visions into one shared mission, together they create a living system. When you start to understand yourself in terms of deeper connections, you find your place in the timeless flow of life. You achieve immortality by merging your intelligence into a purpose that continues beyond your life span.
In the world of worries, on the other hand, you drift, lost in time. You are a wretched mortal striving to acquire all you can before your miserable end. Recognizing your role instead in the larger family and community gives you a long range perspective. It provides a sense of meaning.
SEE OURSELVES AS OTHERS SEE US
How do other people view your business? What do your clients experience? You must know the answers to these questions in order to structure your business. When you achieve sensitivity to the needs of your customers, all other aspects of your business will fall into place.
People who have found their purpose move purposefully, as if they are going somewhere. Their aim is clear, their stride is confident. Those with no aim meander through life, trying to fit into someone else’s vision. They begin to exaggerate the losses and feel cheated by life.
Begin your business journey by establishing your own purpose. Try to summarize your mission in a few brief sentences. Be sure your mission ignites your passion. Just thinking of and stating your purpose should quicken your pulse and brighten up your day.
Design your purpose to benefit others. A great purpose serves humanity. As you formulate your mission, share it with people you respect. See if they react favorably. When your mission is meaningful, your natural enthusiasm inspires other people. Find the primary thing that moves you. It’s hidden within the activity that you most enjoy. The more you refine your mission, the happier you will become. Life is much more interesting when you make a big impact.
A proper mission is based on ambition. It requires a strong ego. Leaders are moved by one of three basic drives: Wealth, fame and winning. At the most basic level, entrepreneurs are not more noble than other people. We just want to get our way, just like happy children who demand everything without guilt.
To harness your inner drive you must know which of the three motivators moves you most powerfully. Do you secretly dream of fame? Or does financial freedom seem more important? Perhaps you are one of those people who prefer to win at any cost? Don’t use logic to figure it out. Instead, see which one excites you most. You might initially feel the excitement as fear. Don’t let that deter you. By facing your “positive” fears you unleash the power to thrill.
Even if you aspire to all three desires, one will emerge as your primary driver. If you are like most people, you have probably lived in denial of what you really want. Until you recognize your fundamental drive, you can’t even get on the game board. In lieu of fighting against the base side of human nature, learn to harness it. Ambition is the drive that determines the size of your target. False humility suppresses your arousal. Hiding from your challenge dulls the senses.
As you step out onto the playing field you leave your timid character behind. Standing up for your mission makes people see you in a new light. Think about how you want others to view you. Brand yourself with the image you want to live, before someone else puts their brand on your hide. What kind of character will you play? How will you costume that character? What position will you play in the theater of business?
The image you convey is the only direct link most people will have to your purpose. Your business style must relate to the people who are your target audience. It must arouse their desire to do business with you.
In the beginning of your career you may need to try some different images. Trial and error lets you know when your “look” is right to bring you the connections you desire. People are birds of a sort, who associate by their “feathers.” How you present yourself determines your flock. Evolve an image that expresses who you really are. If you aren’t being yourself, you are presenting a false image that will halt the growth of your business.
BARRIERS TO LIVING YOUR DREAM
It takes a compelling reason to exact real change in anyone. Determining your purpose provides that compelling reason. That reason must be stronger than the obstacles you will face.
The moment you embrace your purpose, your faults will begin to show themselves. You will discover that your self-image is at odds with reality. Part of refining your aim in life is seeing yourself more clearly. Be prepared to not like all that you see. Your evaluation of your capabilities is based on assumptions that don’t hold up under fire. The very act of deciding where you want to go will force you to notice some of the things you are doing that are taking you in the wrong direction.
Maybe you are too pushy. Or do you quit too easily? Perhaps you even secretly prefer to prevent other people from enjoying their own lives. It is impossible to find your fatal flaw by simply looking for it. If it were so easily found, you would have already fixed it. Still, unconsciously you think you know where the problem resides. But each step of business reveals a new crop of petty attitudes that must come to the surface to melt away.
One way to confront your weaknesses is to get help from people who love and respect you. Ask them to be candid. Ask them if they see any patterns in your behavior that might interfere with your success. Set up ground rules. No criticism and no advice. No personal agenda. Just accurate descriptions of actions and behaviors they have seen that might sink your craft. Some of what you hear might sting, so don’t respond. Sit with their feedback for a couple of days. Then go back and repeat their observations to them without comment to make sure you heard them right.
The mind is incredibly effective at self-delusion. That’s why you want to learn to think as objectively as possible at this point in your career. Further refine your ability to stop thinking in terms of who is right and who is wrong. Instead, expand your skill at viewing each situation in terms of what worked and what didn’t work. This theme will come up again as you grow into new stages of business.
Until now your mind has been trained to focus on simple answers and seek simple solutions. Associate with people who think differently. Practice thinking with scenarios that allow you to consider many possible courses of action. Use analysis to catch the inconsistencies in your thinking. Let logic replace the mental habit of twisting events to make your view right and prove that other interpretations are wrong.
Stop making excuses. Let your results speak for you. Allow your mind to concoct all the reasons explaining why you have yet to reach your goals. Acknowledge those ideas, and then let them float by. None of them hold any clue to your effectiveness. Train your attention to watch the outcomes you produce.
Assess your cash flow and your intimacy every day. Both are dependable barometers of your aliveness. If you are doing without these essential qualities, you are probably frozen in your mental interpretation of life.
Clarity comes from observing the outcomes of your actions. Every experience either provides additional energy or robs you of it. The rest is just explanation or justification. When you truly learn something, your vitality increases. Your mind may react with confusion. That just means you are entering new territory. Often when your plans go awry and your whole life is collapsing, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror with eyes as bright as fire.
Contemplation is a technique of relaxing while considering many possibilities and perspectives. By remaining calm, you can accept all possible outcomes emotionally. Once your mind is clear, a clear mission begins to emerge.
THE MISSION STATEMENT
Your mission requires a plan, just as a journey requires a map. The details may be fuzzy at this stage of business, so don’t worry about getting a business plan together yet. Just start with a simple mission statement that communicates to other people what your career means to you. Write your aim in a few simple sentences so that potential associates can evaluate your intention. What will your project or business deliver to other people? How will you achieve your purpose? Why would others be inspired to assist you? Be sure to put your aim in positive terms.
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