Married...Again

She did. She knew exactly how stubborn he could be.

“The ship...it’s gone. They think it went down in a storm. They’ve been looking for weeks and weeks. But there is no communication and no sign of it on any radar. I just got a call from the university today. They told us at this point we have to assume there were no survivors.”

He stopped talking, and Eleanor took a second to process what he was saying.

Max was on a ship. The ship was gone. There were no survivors.

Max was dead.

It was the strangest thing she ever did, but she laughed. Actually laughed at her husband’s grieving father. She reached out and gently touched him on the arm.

“Oh, Harry, Max isn’t dead. He can’t be.”

She would know it if he was dead. She would feel it. Her plan in life was to hate Max Harper every day from now until the day she died. A lifetime of hating him for not putting her first. For not choosing correctly when he had a choice between his work or her.

A lifetime of it.

He couldn’t be dead.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know things didn’t end well between you two. Sarah and I were both so sad about that.”

“He’s not dead, Harry. I would know it.”

He nodded. “Sarah says the same. But we can only go by what the experts are telling us, and they have officially declared him dead. We’re going to hold a service, and we would appreciate it if you were there. No matter how you two ended, you were family. His and ours for a time.”

Harry patted her hand, then turned to leave. Eleanor shook her head, still not understanding what had happened. There was no way this could be right. No way she was going to lose Max.

Again.

She stumbled back to her desk in the center of the loft and pulled up her laptop.

“Eleanor? Everything okay?”

She ignored her assistant while she typed Max Harper Oceanographer in a Google search page.

And there it was on her screen.

Max Harper, renowned oceanographer and climate scientist, declared dead along with the crew of the ship the Savior.

She fell to her knees, and Selena immediately crouched on the floor next to her.

“Eleanor, what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Are you sick?”

No, she thought. I’m not sick. I’m dead.

Chapter Two

Two and a half years later

“A TOAST! TO my lovely daughter and her fiancé. I, as I’m sure everyone here does, wish them the most happiness. And I know my dear husband, Frank, is smiling down on them from heaven.”

Eleanor looked at her mother in the center of the room and smiled even as she lifted her glass in the air. She glanced at her sister, Allie, and her fiancé, Mike, and was happy to see they seemed to be having a nice time.

The house was filled with family and friends for the engagement party. A party she knew Allie and Mike didn’t originally want, hoping to keep things as low-key as possible. They had just announced their engagement last week, and no sooner had that happened than Marilyn was planning the party despite Allie’s objections. However, Marilyn was insistent, and, in the Gaffney household, whatever Marilyn wanted, Marilyn got.

Whether her children felt the same or not.

The wedding was almost a year away, but Eleanor had already agreed to take time from her company to make sure she could attend all the various activities. Tonight was just the start. Eventually there would be a bridal shower, then the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, all culminating in what Marilyn Gaffney was proclaiming would be the event of the season in the town of Hartsville, Nebraska, next June.

Given that the population of Hartsville was just a little over five thousand citizens, any wedding that happened in town usually was the event of the season.

“Some champagne?”

Eleanor turned at the sound of the voice behind her. Daniel, her date for the evening, held up two flutes. She gladly accepted one.

“Thank you. You may need to keep this coming.”

“You seem to be getting along with your mother,” he said in a lowered voice. “From everything you had told me on the drive here, I was expecting something a little more dramatic between you two.”

“I’m trying to do everything I can to avoid the drama. Mom and I are fine as long as I’m agreeing with her. It’s when I don’t that things become difficult. Take this party, for example. Completely unnecessary. We’re going to be seeing all these same people at the wedding. What’s the point of doing it twice?”

Daniel raised an eyebrow. “What’s the point of any party? To have fun.”

Eleanor looked at Allie and Mike again. They were still smiling, still chatting with the people around them. They looked like what they were. A couple in love. A couple who was excited about their future.

And Eleanor was happy for them.

All this wedding paraphernalia didn’t bother her. Not in the least. That’s what she was telling herself anyway, and she could be very convincing when she needed to be.

Still, she knew everything on the surface wasn’t always as it appeared.

“I know my sister. It’s going to be hard enough for her to be the center of attention for a day. To keep this up for the next year will be laborious. A wedding shouldn’t be that much work.”

“Speaking of weddings...do you like big ones or small ones? Just so I can get an idea.”

“Daniel,” she said with a soft sigh.

“I hate that sigh, you know. I was only teasing.”

Was he? It was hard to know with Daniel. He liked to call himself a man of action, and that was true. He was always very persistent in getting what he wanted. Much like her mother.

Like convincing her to go out with him when she’d refused him for months.

“This is only our second date. I think it’s a little too soon to talk about weddings, don’t you?”

He gripped his chest in mock pain. “What? You’re not counting all those lunches?”

“They were business lunches,” she reminded him.

“One woman’s business lunch, another man’s date.”

“So you’re saying you have no real interest in investing in Head to Toe?”

He sipped his champagne. “I wouldn’t say that exactly. No.”

“That’s what I thought,” Eleanor said smugly. “Daniel, I agreed to go out with you. I agreed to bring you here so you could meet my family. But you know where my head is right now. Head to Toe is getting bigger every day, and it has to be my number-one priority. I’ve told you my plans.”

“You have. Or you could turn those plans over to me and let them be my number-one priority. Then you could go back to focusing on...other areas of your life.”

Again, she thought he was teasing, but it was hard to tell. Their relationship had started when Daniel, an investment banker, had shown interest in the growth rate of her company located in Denver. He’d asked her out to lunch to discuss the idea of what a large cash infusion could mean. She’d rejected the idea at first, but then the idea to get ahead of the game by growing her company at an accelerated rate seemed compelling.

Which led to another lunch.

Which led to her thinking Daniel himself was rather attractive. It might have been the first time in years she had even registered a man’s appearance. That had to be a good thing, she told herself.

In the end, Daniel hadn’t swayed her with his pitch. Head to Toe was her baby, and a cash investment from someone else meant giving part of it away. Whereas, if she took a loan out for the money to expand, it would still be hers. One was riskier, but the other was tantamount to giving over part control of the business. She didn’t know if she was willing to do that.

Daniel, however, had not been willing to walk away, either.

She would have thought his interest was solely in the company until he surprised her on lunch number two by asking her out on a date. Of course, she said no, for any number of reasons. But he persisted until she got to that point where she realized there was absolutely no reason for her not to go out on a date with him.

He was an intelligent, handsome, sometimes funny man. She liked him. A date made sense. A date might make her normal again. Two years was a long time to grieve a marriage that she had chosen to end.

They’d had an elegant dinner. They had agreed not to talk about work.

It had been...nice.

So she’d asked him to come to this party with her. Only now, he was suggesting there was something missing in her life.

“And what areas would those be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe thinking about other things than your company. Other things you want in life. You were married once. Don’t you think about getting married again?”

Eleanor flinched. “I don’t like to talk about my marriage.”

Because it was hers. Her marriage. Her memories. And talking about Max...thinking about him hurt too much.

“I can see why this would be painful to discuss...”

“We are at a party,” Eleanor said, raising her glass to her lips trying to change the subject. “Didn’t you say something about it being fun?”

This time it was Daniel who sighed.

“Eleanor, you have to see that I care about you.”

Did she? Did she have to see that? After a bunch of lunches and two dates—the second one not even finished yet. They hadn’t even had sex yet. She didn’t want to think about how even the idea of sex with him made her feel.

Disloyal was the best word she could come up with.

“I only want what is best for you. I feel sometimes like I’m battling this ghost.”

“You’re not.”

“We haven’t talked about this. I’m not sure I know how you feel about children—”

Eleanor pierced him with a look that stopped that sentence. If she wasn’t comfortable talking about her marriage, then she certainly wasn’t comfortable discussing the subject of children with Daniel. Definitely not on a second date.

“There you are!” Marilyn proclaimed as she approached them. “You’re not mingling. Everyone is asking about you, but it seems no one is getting a chance to talk with you.”

For the first time in her life, Eleanor was happy to be admonished by her mother. Anything to get Daniel to stop talking about Max and babies.

“Sorry, Mom. Daniel and I were just having a conversation.”

Marilyn smiled and patted his arm. “Yes, yes. I’m very happy with your new young man, but you two can talk all you want when you’re back in the big city. For now, I would like my daughter to be available for her family.”

“Yes, of course,” Daniel said graciously. “We’ll make our way around the room.”

“That would be lovely. I do hope it’s not too inconvenient that we have you at the B and B in town. I know I’m old-fashioned. However, until a couple is married, I just don’t feel comfortable with them sharing a room—”

“Mom.” Eleanor had told her mother only that she was bringing someone she was currently seeing. She definitely hadn’t gone into detail about their sexual status. “It’s fine. Daniel is only staying for tonight. He has to head back to the city tomorrow.”

Her mother made a face as if the word city was distasteful. Probably because she associated Denver with Eleanor’s business, something else she found distasteful. Her mother still clung to the belief that a woman’s first priority should be securing a husband and having children.

Eleanor had done half of that and had failed. Since then she hadn’t been eager to repeat the experience.

Her business, however, was a nice replacement. Way less pain and heartbreak. More control and financial benefit. As far as Eleanor was concerned, if she never got married again, it wouldn’t be the most tragic thing to happen to her.

Because the most tragic thing had already happened.

Her mother was obviously not pleased by that attitude. It meant fewer grandchildren.

“Oh. Well, let’s hope you’re still in Eleanor’s life for the wedding.”

“I promise to do everything I can to make sure I’m back for that. In the meantime, this will be the first weekend Eleanor’s been away from her company in some time. I hope she has time for some relaxation.”

“Of course it will be relaxing,” Marilyn stated, turning to Eleanor. “She’ll be with family. Now, speaking of, your father’s sister and brother want to talk with you. I suggest you start with them. Since your father’s been gone, they claim to feel left out of your and your sister’s lives. I’m making every effort to change that with this wedding.”

Eleanor didn’t miss the emphasis on the word this. Five years later and she was still being punished for her elopement to Max. One would have thought, considering what she went through with his death, she might have been forgiven.

But her mother had a long memory.

“Yes, Mom. I’ll head over to them shortly.”

Marilyn left them, and Eleanor could hear her greeting some new guests as they came through the front door.

“She really does love to play the hostess,” Daniel noted.

“Yes, she does. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to make small talk with my family, so they can get as much gossip out of me as possible. Most of them want to know how much money I’m making. Truly, they are not even subtle about it.”

Daniel laughed. “I think I’ll stand in this corner and drink myself silly. Mike already promised he would drive me to the B and B.”

“Yes, poor Mike. He and Allie live together on his farm in North Platte, but now my mother is making him pay for a room. It’s so impractical. But Marilyn’s house, Marilyn’s rules.”

“Hmm,” Daniel said. “A strong-minded woman. Sounds like someone else I know.”

Eleanor gasped. “Are you comparing me to my mother? Daniel Reynolds. That’s grounds for murder!”

He laughed again. “I believe you have small talk to make.”

“I’m on it.”

Eleanor had no problem with mingling. Unlike Allie, Eleanor was used to being the center of attention every day at work. Daniel had been accurate. This really was going to be her first real break from the office since its inception almost three years ago. An office that had started with her, then Selena, now housed an IT staff, a customer service department, an advertising and sales department and a buying department comprised mostly of part-time, stay-at-home moms. Eleanor also had a bookkeeper, but now even Shelly was complaining she needed help to keep up.

Yet another hire. Of course that meant the company was growing, which was a good thing, Eleanor told herself.

The point was she dealt with dozens of people, of varying personalities, all day long. Working a room, making people feel comfortable, listening to them was all part of her daily routine. After an hour of small talk, she managed to find her way to Allie and Mike.

Allie’s smile was in place, but Eleanor could see the tension in her shoulders, the strain in her face.

“How are you holding up?” Eleanor asked.

“I’m fine. I’m great. This is amazing.”

“Allie, seriously? This is me you’re talking to.”

“Seriously. I figured out the best way to get through all of this is just to accept it. Mom wanted a party. Mom gets a party. Then in less than a year, after the actual wedding, all of this will be over.”

Eleanor could feel the anger rising. “Allie, your wedding isn’t something to get through. It’s supposed to be about what you want. What you both want?”

Mike chuckled. “Wait a minute. You mean I’m a part of this? That’s news.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Mike. Please. I need you on my side. This is hard enough as it is.”

Mike, Eleanor thought, was the prototype of a Nebraskan farmer. Medium height, stocky, strong build. He wore a beard that he didn’t always maintain—much to Marilyn’s dismay—so it was hard to know if he was handsome or not.

Allie thought he was, though. Allie thought Mike was the single best man in the universe.

Eleanor knew because Allie looked at him like Eleanor used to look at Max.

“Allie, I’m on your side,” Mike told her. “Always. And I’m trying to do everything you’re asking. But Eleanor’s not wrong. This should be about us and what we want. You know what we didn’t want? This party. You know what I don’t want? Having to go out with every male relative you have as part of my bachelor party. Your uncle’s been hinting at strippers all night. I’m not looking at naked women with your creepy Uncle Bob.”

“Uncle Bob is not creepy,” Allie whispered.

Eleanor nodded and mouthed, Sooo creepy.

“Guys, I know you’re trying to help. But you’re not. You,” Allie said, pointing at Eleanor, “don’t know what Mom has been like.”

“I don’t know my own mother?”

“You don’t know what she’s been like about this wedding. Everything has to be different than last time. Everything you didn’t do, I have to do, and it all has to be perfect. She’s scheduled no less than five dress fittings. Seriously? How many times do I have to see if a dress fits?”

Eleanor tried to swallow her irritation. She felt the guilt, but it was unreasonable. She didn’t want her sister to suffer because of her elopement, but at the same time this was her mother’s doing, not hers.

“Why did you agree to it? You are a grown woman, about to get married. Why can’t you say no to her?”

“Because I’m the only one who cares about making her happy,” Allie fired back. “And she knows it. Why can’t you ever say yes to something?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes and already complaining.”

“Time out,” Mike intervened. “This is getting heated, and people are starting to notice. We all promised to play nice.”

Eleanor checked herself. Mike was right. This party, which was stressing her sister out already, wasn’t the place to challenge her to say no to their mother. And, she had to admit to herself, maybe she wasn’t as unaffected as she thought she could be.

It’s not like any of this would bring back particular memories.

There had been no engagement party. No bachelor party. No large ceremony. No family and friends.

Just her and Max in front of a judge in a small town in Nevada. He’d given her a bouquet of daisies to hold.

Eleanor lifted her head, looking around the room for Daniel. She saw that he was talking to her cousin, Marissa.

Check that. Her cousin Marissa was desperately flirting with him. He seemed unaffected. A point in his favor as Marissa was quite attractive.

Then Eleanor turned to focus on her sister again. “You’re right. I’m sorry. If you’re willing to be whatever you need to be for Mom, then I’m willing to be whatever you need. I want this to be a happy time for you.”

Allie nodded. “Okay, well, get ready. Here she comes, and she doesn’t look happy...like at all. She must have run out of something. Please let it not be the liquor.”

Eleanor saw her mother approaching, and it was true. She was nearly ashen. Her makeup unable to hide whatever had shocked her.

“Eleanor,” she began, then stopped. She put her hand over her heart and took a few breaths.

“Mom, what is it? Are you having chest pains? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

Fear gripped Eleanor. A sudden heart attack was how they had lost her father all those years ago.

“No, it’s nothing like that. Just a shock. We have a...guest. I’ve asked him to wait in your father’s study. I don’t want to upset the party and ruin Allie’s night. Eleanor, come with me. Just you. Alone.”

Eleanor had no concept of why her mother needed her alone. Or why a guest had to be sent to her father’s study. An old high school friend? Or more likely a frenemy. There was Tony Santino, whom she dated for a while in high school until he ended up cheating on her with her best friend. Definitely not someone she would enjoy seeing again. Then again, there was no reason why he’d be here tonight. He’d been three years ahead of Allie in school.

Marilyn turned the corner, then stopped in front of the door to the study. Really? Whoever was inside was so startling he needed to be shut in?

“Mom, what is this?”

Marilyn was wringing her hands, clearly upset.

“There’s nothing to do,” she said eventually. “You’ll just have to go in. I’ll go let your sister know what’s happening.”

With that, her mother left. Cautiously, Eleanor opened the door. Inside was a man. He stood by the windows. Tall, his back to her. His hair was dark with a little gray woven through it. Something about the way he held himself. His hands clasped behind his back. His legs separated like the floor was the bow of ship and he needed the extra balance.

She knew that pose. She knew those shoulders. But of course, none of that was possible.

Then he turned. His face was weathered, more weathered than three years ago. But it was his face.

The face of her dead husband.

“Hey, Nor.”

Immediately she bent over and threw up the champagne she’d been drinking onto her pretty Jimmy Choo pumps. It was as if her whole body was rejecting what she was seeing.

He took a step toward her, and she held up a hand to keep him at bay.

“How is this happening?” she muttered, still bent over.

“I know this is a shock. I didn’t know how else to do this. I came home and my parents—”

“Your parents are dead. You’re dead.”

These were two things she knew to be true. A year after Max was officially declared dead, Harry and Sarah were in a car accident. As Max had been their only son, Eleanor, even though she’d been trying to get a divorce at the time of their son’s death, was their only remaining family. She’d been listed as the emergency contact.

She’d arranged the funeral, the sale of their home. But she’d kept the cabin in the mountains. How could she not?

“I didn’t know how to find you. I did some internet searches. I found your company, but then I saw the announcement of Allie getting married. It mentioned the engagement party tonight. I knew you would be here.”

“Stop talking,” Eleanor snapped. She couldn’t process this. She couldn’t accept the fact that she was seeing him again. He was dead.

For more than two years, he’d been dead.

For more than two years, she’d been dead.

“You died,” she said as if she had to explain some fundamental truth to him.

“I didn’t.”

“How?”

He sighed. “That’s a very long story.”

She looked at him. Full-on. It was only then that she realized she had been looking at him like he was the sun. Indirectly. As if she would go blind if she stared at him full-on.

“You’re here,” she said. “You. Are. Here.”

He nodded. “I am.”

The door opened.

“Eleanor, are you all right? I saw you come in here alone. Oh, hello. And you are?” Daniel said, looking over at the stranger in the room.

Eleanor finally was able to stand straight. Her stomach no longer in jeopardy of upheaving anything. Her knees were shaky, but she was fairly certain she wasn’t going to faint.

“Daniel, this is...this is...”

“Max Harper,” Max said, reaching out to shake Daniel’s hand.

Daniel’s eyes got wide. “Oh, my goodness. You’re...you’re...”

“I’m Eleanor’s not-dead husband.”

Chapter Three

“AND YOU ARE?” Max asked.

He knew. In his heart of hearts, he knew coming back here now might be too late. But he had to try. Of course she would have moved on. Of course she would have remarried.

She might have done that even if he hadn’t been declared dead.

He looked at her again because he could. Because he was alive, standing in her family home—a place he’d been to on a couple occasions during their short marriage. He knew she was experiencing shock. But it wasn’t all that different for him, either.

Because there was a time when he never thought he would see her again.

Eleanor.

She’d always been beautiful. Long, chestnut hair, dark brown eyes. Lips that were a smidge bigger than they should, which made every man around her want to kiss them.

Two and half years had only added to that beauty. Instead of the young woman he’d first met, full of all the hope and excitement of the future that was coming, now she was fully a woman.