Come Running

The kettle boiled and she made the tea, carrying the tray through to the living room and setting it down on a low table beside the couch. As she poured the tea, she reflected that it was hardly surprising that she had never known what it was like to be part of a family. Her parents had divorced when she was seven years old, which at the time had come as a blessed relief after years of listening to her parents quarrelling. Her father had been to blame, or that was her mother’s story and the fact that her father had married again within a year of obtaining the decree had seemed to bear out that theory. Darrell had been too young to judge at that time, and it was only as she had grown older she had begun to appreciate that there were always two sides to every situation. Her father’s second wife was young, younger than her mother had been, and within a few years they had produced two sons who might well have been brothers to Darrell, if her mother had let them. But throughout her childhood, she had jealously guarded her daughter, allowing her to visit her father only rarely, and consequently, by the time Darrell was old enough to judge for herself, her half-brothers had formed their own opinions of her. Delia, her stepmother, had hardened, too, and Darrell did not really feel at home with them. She knew her father regretted this bitterly, but he was naturally more inclined to be loyal to the family he had made.

Darrell’s mother, who had been a designer working for a firm of textile manufacturers at the time of her marriage, had picked up the pieces after the break rather well. She had opened her own interior decorating business, and was now much sought after by her wealthy London clients. Even before her move to Sedgeley, Darrell had grown accustomed to seeing little of her mother, and her own work at the hospital, living in the nurses’ hostel there, had created a gulf which neither of them particularly wished to bridge now.

That was why Darrell had found the Lawfords’ ebullience and generosity so warming and appealing. She had responded to the teasing and bantering and good-natured arguing that went on within the family circle, and she had often wished that she could have had that kind of background instead of being a part of two beings who had each in their own way chosen to live their own lives of which she had no part.

She sighed. Weddings were always a time for sentimentality. She was allowing the emptiness of the flat to get through to her. It was foolish. Sooner or later she would have to find someone else to share the place with her, and that was a prospect she did not relish. She and Susan had got along so well together, and the fact that Susan had been instrumental in finding the flat and suggesting they shared it, had made it more of a mutual arrangement somehow.

Finishing her tea, she got to her feet and walked to the window. It had begun to rain in earnest again, and the sky hung grey and overcast over the houses opposite. Lucky Susan and Frank, off to Majorca. At least it wouldn’t be raining there.

With a grimace, she collected the tray and carried it back into the kitchen. She made herself a sandwich in lieu of an evening meal, and then went to change. She decided to wear a cotton corduroy slack suit and a plain brown shirt. The suit was cream and toned well with her matt complexion. She considered calling a taxi to take her across town because the bus stop was several yards away from the street in which the flat was situated, but it seemed an extravagance, so instead she donned her navy poplin coat and picked up her umbrella.

She ran to the end of the road and fortunately caught a bus almost immediately. Jolting along through Sedgeley town centre, she reflected wryly that had she accepted Celine Lawford’s offer of a lift she would have avoided all this. But at what cost? What on earth would they have talked about?

The bus deposited her in the market place, and from there she had to catch another bus out to Windsor Street. This time she was not so lucky and spent fifteen minutes standing in the bus shelter waiting for the connection.

It was after eight by the time she was walking up Windsor Street to the Lawfords’ house, but she could hear the sounds of merriment before she reached their door. The record player was going full blast, and there was the sound of raised voices and laughter. For a moment she hung back, half deterred at the thought of so many strangers. Although she knew Susan’s immediate family, she did not know all the aunts and uncles, cousins and in-laws that constituted the whole Lawford clan, and she was an outsider, after all.

But then the door opened and Penny Lawford was standing smiling at her, her brother Jeff jostling for a position behind her.

“Come on in, Darrell,” she exclaimed, stepping back on to Jeff’s foot and grimacing at his agonised protest. “We were beginning to wonder whether you were going to make it. Take your coat off. You’re soaked!”

Within minutes, Darrell was engulfed into the family circle, a glass of something strong and warming was pressed into her hand and she was thrust into the lounge which seemed to be overflowing with people.

Jeff limped after her, rubbing his ankle. “I’m glad you came, Darrell,” he said, and she knew he meant it.

“Did Susan and Frank get away without too much fuss?” she asked, trying not to be aware that there was no sign of either Matthew Lawford or his wife.

“Well, Matt’s taken them to Leeds,” Jeff explained, pulling the tab off a can of beer and raising it to his lips. “Mike and I managed to fill Frank’s pyjama legs full of confetti, but that was last night. I don’t think he would open the case to check on them this morning. He had quite a hangover after last night’s little celebration.” He grinned reminiscently.

“Oh, Jeff!” Darrell could well imagine Susan’s consternation if Frank pulled out his pyjamas and emptied their contents all over their bedroom floor in the hotel at Porto Cristo. “What a rotten thing to do!”

Jeff chuckled. “It’s expected. And our Susan was too fly to leave her cases lying around. She locked them up last night, do you know that? Slept with the key of the cupboard under her pillow!”

“Good for Susan!” Darrell sipped her drink and then gasped as the fiery spirit burned the back of her throat. “What is this?”

Jeff put his head on one side. “Well, it’s supposed to be punch – Dad’s style. I believe it’s a mixture of whisky, rum, brandy and vodka.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Jeff shrugged. “Please yourself. Knowing Dad, that’s likely to be a conservative estimate.”

Darrell smiled in answer to a greeting called to her across the room from Mrs. Lawford and took another sip of the fiery mixture. “Ugh!” She shivered. “I can’t drink this. It’s – horrible!”

Jeff raised his eyebrows mockingly. “Don’t let Dad hear you say that.”

“Why not? I’ve noticed that all he drinks is beer – like you.”

“Punch isn’t a man’s tipple.”

“And beer is, I suppose?”

Jeff nodded, finishing the can in his hand. “Come on, let’s dance.”

The Lawfords’ home was a rambling old terrace house which Mr. Lawford and his sons had converted by knocking down walls and putting in central heating. Consequently, the lounge now stretched from the front to the back of the property and was big enough to accommodate the rapidly expanding needs of the family. Tonight, a space had been cleared at the end for dancing, and several couples were already abandoning themselves to the beat music when Darrell allowed Jeff to propel her to join them. She had been glad to dispose of her drink on to a side table and determined not to be duped into drinking any more punch.

It was hot, and after a few minutes Darrell had to stop to take off her jacket and unfasten the top couple of buttons of her blouse. She had left her hair loose this evening, but now she wished she had at least brought an elastic band to lift it off her neck.

“Where’s Celine?” she managed to ask Jeff in one of the intervals between records, and he shrugged, glancing round indifferently.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “She wanted to go with Matt and the others, but there wasn’t room in the car and she wasn’t suited.”

“There wasn’t room in the car …?” Darrell looked confused. “Why? What sort of car was it?”

“Oh, it’s a big B.M.W.,” remarked Jeff enviously. “But all the kids wanted to go. You know. Evelyn’s two and our Jennifer’s Christine. They wanted to go out to the airport, so Matt said they could.”

“I see,” Darrell nodded.

“Anyway, they should have been back by now. They’d have been here already, but the flight was delayed an hour. One of those last-minute hitches. Hey – I made a pun! Did you notice that? A hitch for the hitched!”

He laughed and Penny and her boy-friend and one or two of the others who had been dancing came to see what was so funny. There was a lot of goodnatured chaffing going on and Darrell turned away, raising her arms to tug her fingers through her tangled hair. The effort tautened the material of her shirt across her breasts, although she was unaware of it, but as she stood there straightening her arms into a stretch she became aware of the group of young people just entering the lounge, and over their heads her eyes encountered the dark eyes of Matthew Lawford. There was a disturbing moment when he held her gaze, and then she turned abruptly away, catching Jeff’s arm and saying: “I thought you asked me to dance!”

CHAPTER TWO

The alarm rang insistently, and Darrell groaned and rolled over to switch it off. Seven o’clock! Who would choose to get up at such an unearthly hour? she thought impatiently, sliding out of bed before succumbing once more to the waves of drowsiness that were tugging at her consciousness. She spared a thought for Susan as she dressed, waking on the morning after her wedding night. Darrell decided wryly that whatever she might be doing at this moment, it would not entail swallowing a hasty breakfast and reporting for ward duty at eight a.m.

The hospital was only a ten-minute walk away from the flat, and this morning the sun was forcing its way through the low-hanging clouds as Darrell set off. Now that she was fully awake, she was glad she was going to work. The brisk routine of the hospital would give her little time to dwell on the disturbing aspects of the previous day’s events.

Not that anything particularly momentous had happened, she acknowledged. Her feelings were the result of an over-active imagination and Matthew Lawford had treated her no differently from any one of the other girls present at the reception. But for her there had been something – something in the way he looked at her, in the way he spoke to her, which, whether he intended it or not, and she was sure he didn’t, had disrupted her emotions to a disquieting extent.

She had told herself it was the wine, that she was un-accustomed to alcohol, but in fact she had not drunk a lot. Nevertheless, it had been a shattering experience to realise that in spite of always believing herself capable of controlling any situation, he had disconcerted her without any apparent effort on his part. It was galling. She felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush, and she despised herself for it. The more so because Matthew Lawford was not only way out of her sphere, but married as well. He might be Susan’s brother, he might be able to submerge his personality into his brothers’ mould when it suited him to do so – but basically he was different, and that, no doubt, was why Celine had married him.

Celine!

Darrell could not suppress a shiver when she recalled the scene which had taken place the night before after Matthew’s return from Leeds.

Until then, Celine had not been in evidence, but it had turned out later that she had been lying down upstairs, ostensibly nursing a headache. As soon as her husband returned, however, she came downstairs, still wearing the turquoise crêpe dress she had worn for the wedding, which now looked rather creased.

Darrell had been dancing with Mike Lawford, another of the brothers. Without admitting it to herself, she had been staying with the younger members of the family deliberately, avoiding any possible contact with Matthew. But she had been unable to avoid overhearing the words that had passed between them. Celine had been determined that everyone should hear.

She had begun by complaining that she couldn’t possibly stay in the house a moment longer, her head was throbbing, she said, and the music was driving her mad. To be charitable, Darrell had had to concede that if Celine did indeed have a headache, she might well have been feeling desperate, but it soon became apparent that this was not the only reason why she wanted to leave. As her voice became shriller and her words more slurred, Darrell realised that Celine was more than a little intoxicated.

Matthew had endeavoured to persuade her, mildly at first, that he couldn’t leave yet, that he had only just arrived, and that his parents expected him to stay. His mother, joining them, had even suggested that perhaps Celine might like to go home with Evelyn when she took the younger children to bed, and stay the night there where it would be peaceful.

But Celine wanted none of this. The prospect of spending the night with any of Matthew’s relatives was clearly not a good idea so far as she was concerned, and she demanded that Matthew go and book her a suite of rooms in the best hotel in town.

And this was when the argument had become less tolerant. Matthew had stated flatly that he had no intention of booking rooms in any hotel when his own family were perfectly prepared to accommodate them, and when Celine started to criticise his family he told her bluntly that he would not bring the Lawford name into disrepute in the town by revealing his wife’s imperfections.

It had become a terrible slanging match, with Matthew controlling his temper admirably. Inevitably, Celine had burst into tears and Mrs. Lawford, with her innate kindness, had led her daughter-in-law away and calmed her with coffee and aspirins.

But Celine’s behaviour had put a damper on the party, and when Jeff suggested that he and Darrell and some of the others went on to the nightclub in the town, they had all been eager to agree. Consequently, Darrell had arrived home in the early hours of the morning feeling exhausted and distinctly depressed.

Sunday was not usually a busy day at the Sedgeley General and the morning dragged by until lunchtime when there was an emergency appendectomy in the theatre. Darrell had her lunch with Carol Withers, a fellow staff nurse, in the hospital canteen, and then returned to the surgical ward until the evening. Visitors were allowed for two hours during the afternoon, and as there were no further emergencies, Darrell was able to write up her reports in Sister’s office without interruption. There was a minor upheaval soon after tea when the patient who had had the appendectomy recovered consciousness and was sick all over his bed, but the sheets were soon changed and Darrell spent several minutes assuring the poor man that he had not been the nuisance he imagined. Then it was time to hand over to the night staff, and Darrell collected her cape and handbag and left the building.

It had been an unsettled day, periodically raining and then becoming sunny, but the evening was quite delightful, the sky almost completely rid of the clouds which had caused the showers. She walked down Hollyhurst Road feeling more relaxed than she had done walking up it that morning, and was shocked out of her reverie when a long gunmetal grey car pulled alongside her. She didn’t recognise the car. It belonged to no one she knew, she was sure – an impression which was quickly allayed when Matthew Lawford climbed out.

He was wearing a dark suit in some sort of soft suede, and his tie was very black against his white shirt. The thick brown hair lay smoothly against his head, and his thick lashes hid the expression in his eyes. There were lines beside his mouth which she didn’t think had been there yesterday, and a feathering of anticipation slid along her spine.

“Hello, Darrell,” he greeted her quietly. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“For me?” Darrell glanced all round her, as though she couldn’t believe he was addressing her, but the road was almost deserted. Then she looked into the car, and it was empty, too. Hot colour ran up her cheeks. “I – I don’t understand.” Or did she? “Why are you waiting for me?”

Matthew swung open the passenger side door. “Get inside,” he directed. “I have to talk to you.”

Darrell didn’t know what to say. All her emotions clamoured for her to do as he asked, but cold logic kept her standing on the pavement. “Whatever it is – whatever it is you have to say to me, can’t – can’t it be said here?” she stammered.

His eyes were narrowed. “What’s the matter, Darrell? Don’t you trust me?” he enquired, his voice acquiring an edge of coldness.

Darrell felt terrible. “It’s not that. Oh – oh, very well.”

With many misgivings, she climbed into the front of the car and he slammed her door before walking round to slide in beside her. He closed his door, but he did not immediately start the engine, and she tensed.

“It’s about Susan – Susan and Frank,” he told her steadily. “I gather you haven’t heard the news today?”

“The news? What news?”

Darrell was hopelessly confused, but something in his tone stirred a ripple of cold premonition inside her.

Matthew sighed. “There’s been a crash, Darrell,” he replied tonelessly. “Late last night. But it was early this morning before we got the news …”

“News?” Darrell stared at him blankly. Then: “You can’t mean – you don’t mean – the plane –”

Matthew looked down at his hand resting lightly on the wheel. “Susan and Frank are dead, Darrell –”

“Oh, no!”

“– they were killed instantly, I think. There were no survivors.”

“Oh, no!” Darrell moved her head disbelievingly from side to side. “It can’t be true. It mustn’t be true!”

“But it is true, Darrell. I assure you.” Matthew drew a steadying breath. “How do you think the family feel? How do you think my mother feels? My father …” He shook his head. “Well, he’s getting good and drunk, but my mother …” He paused. “Will you come?”

Darrell nodded, pressing trembling hands to her cheeks, feeling the prick of tears behind her lids. Matthew looked at her, as though to assure himself that she was all right, and that direct stare was the undoing of her. Unable to prevent herself, she burst into tears, feeling the salty drops wetting her hands as they streamed unheeded down her cheeks. It had all been too much – the tension over the wedding and Celine’s outburst, her own troubled feelings towards Matthew, and now this … Poor Susan! Poor Frank! Not even their wedding night had been spared them …

With an exclamation, Matthew reached for her, pulling her against him, putting his arms around her and pressing her face against his chest. He had unbuttoned his jacket and his shirt was smooth and silky against her cheek. Beneath its softness she could feel the hardness of muscle, smell the shaving lotion he wore, inhale the clean fragrance of his skin. His heart was beating steadily in her ears, and his strength was something she badly needed just at this moment. But alongside this feeling were other feelings, and it was the knowledge of their presence even in these moments of stress which forced her to draw back from him and search blindly for a tissue.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not normally so emotional. It was just a such a – such a terrible – shock!”

“I know,” Matthew nodded, buttoning his jacket again as he turned to the wheel. His voice was strangely taut as he commented: “It’s better to cry if you can. Releases tension, isn’t that what they say?”

Darrell dried her eyes. “I suppose so. Could we – that is – I’d rather not go – like this.” She indicated her uniform selfconsciously.

Matthew started the engine and swung the powerful car away from the kerb. “Just direct me to where you live,” he answered. “I’ll wait while you change.”

When they reached the flats, Darrell turned to him. “I – will you come in?” she invited awkwardly.

“Would you rather I didn’t?”

Darrell hesitated a moment and then shook her head. “No, please – come in.”

Matthew made a gesture of acquiescence and as she fumbled her way out of the door at her side, he climbed out easily and locked the car.

The cream emulsioned walls of the apartment building had never seemed more drab, the stair treads bare and worn in the centre. Darrell led the way upstairs on unsteady legs, finding her key and inserting it in the lock.

Matthew stood in the centre of the living room looking about him with what she felt sure must be feigned interest. He had never been here while Susan was living in the flat, and now that she was dead … Dead! She still couldn’t believe it.

“I won’t be a minute,” she said, flinging her handbag on to a chair and indicating the couch. “Won’t you sit down? I’m afraid I don’t have anything alcoholic I can offer you, but there’s coffee …”

“Thank you.” Matthew was polite. “But I don’t want anything. Take your time. There’s no hurry.”

Darrell left him sitting on the couch and entered her bedroom. As she took off her uniform she surreptitiously examined her face in the dressing table mirror. She looked pale, much paler than usual, and there were blotches round her eyes where she had been crying. What a mess! What must he think of her? She sighed, shaking her head impatiently. Don’t do getting the wrong ideas about this, she told herself severely. It had been kind of him to come and break the news, but that was all.

She dressed in a plain navy skirt and a cream blouse, brushing her hair out of the severe chignon she wore for working, and securing it behind her ears with two combs. Cold water had removed almost all traces of grief, and a careful use of a moisturising foundation cream erased the rest. She didn’t bother with any other make-up, she seldom wore a lot anyway, and the result was still very pale, but composed.

Matthew rose to his feet as she re-entered the lounge, a dark blue suede coat over her arm. His eyes flickered over her briefly, and then he said: “You’re ready?”

Darrell nodded.

“Have you eaten?”

Darrell frowned. “Why – no. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not feeling much like eating anyway.”

Matthew thrust his hands into his jacket pockets. “You must eat something. As a nurse you should know that.”

Darrell glanced round helplessly. “It’s all right – really.”

Matthew regarded her for another unblinking moment, then he shrugged. “Come along, then.”

It was amazing how quickly one could reach Windsor Street if one did not have to rely on buses, Darrell thought bleakly, trying to put the picture of Susan and Frank’s mangled bodies out of her mind. One could by-pass the town centre completely, taking the direct route on the ring road. There were plenty of cars about on this warm summer evening and it seemed incredible that for most of these people another plane crash would arouse nothing more than an exclamation of sympathy for those involved. But for Susan and Frank …

She pressed her lips tightly together. She must not get emotional, not now. She had been Susan’s friend, but the Lawfords were her family, her flesh and blood. Somehow she had to be strong enough to bear their grief and absorb some of it if she could.

Matthew, who had been silent on the journey, glanced sideways at her as they turned into Windsor Street. “This is going to be pretty harrowing for you, Darrell,” he said quietly. “But thank you for coming. My mother – all of us – appreciate it.”

His words affected her more than her thoughts had done, and she nodded quickly, not trusting herself to speak. When the powerful car drew to a halt at the Lawfords’ gate, she thrust open her door and climbed out before she succumbed to the crazy desire to comfort him as he had comforted her a little while ago.

The next few hours were gruelling ones as Matthew had predicted. The house seemed full of people, and the kettle was constantly boiling to make tea. Relatives from out of town who had attended the wedding the day before and who had been staying overnight before returning home were still there, and there was a lack of organisation that Mrs. Lawford would never have permitted had she not been stricken with her own grief. She gathered herself sufficiently to tell Darrell that the airline was sending all the bodies home for burial, and that Evelyn and her husband had flown out to Palma, at the airline’s expense, to attend to the details on their behalf. Frank’s father had gone too, she said, but Mr. Lawford was in no fit state to go anywhere. Darrell guessed what it must have cost her to tell an outsider this, and respected her for it.