Loving Isaac

“Nay, I’m fine,” Ellen said, studying Sarah’s little son, who gazed at her with a big sloppy grin. “I’ll wait.”

As soon as Sarah set her son down, Gideon immediately ran to Ellen for attention. Her cousin quickly grabbed Ellen’s pies so that Ellen could reach for him. “Want to go for a little walk, Gid?”

“Mam, can I?” Gideon asked his mother in Pennsylvania Deitsch.

“Ja, you may walk with Cousin Ellen, but you must be a gut boy.”

The child nodded to his mother, then to Ellen who scooped him up for a hug.

“Be careful, Ellen,” Sarah warned. “My soohn is no lightweight.”

“Ja, he isn’t.” Ellen smiled at the dark-haired child as she set him on his feet. “We’ll walk side by side—ja, Gideon?” She extended her hand and the child grabbed it and held firm as they headed toward the back farm field.

“Where shall we go?” she asked him.

“Goats,” he said.

“You want to see the goats?” When he nodded, she grinned at him. “Let’s visit your goats, then.”

* * *

Isaac left the house with Jedidiah, carrying the table Sarah wanted outside. He looked across the yard as they negotiated the last of the porch steps to discover his sister-in-law Sarah with Josie Mast. He glanced about but didn’t see Ellen anywhere. He was strangely disappointed. He was wondering how she’d fared since the accident, whether or not the bump on her forehead had changed color like the bruise on her cheek. Then he heard a giggle and spied Gideon running from Ellen, who chuckled as she ran across the yard after him.

“Come back here, Gideon!” she called laughingly.

“Set it down a minute, Isaac,” Jed said. “I need to speak with Sarah.”

Isaac silently set down the table. He watched as Jed approached his wife to say a few words with her. He saw Sarah gesture toward the back lawn.

It was visiting Sunday. Community folks were milling about the yard and inside the house, family and friends of Jed and Sarah. He heard voices from near the barn, where two men whom he recognized as church elders were joined by a newcomer he didn’t recognize.

The sound of a squeal made him smile and turn back to watch Ellen and his nephew as Gideon ran from Ellen, the child’s shriek of laughter evidence of his enjoyment of her chase. By her expression, he could tell that Ellen was having as much fun as Gideon. She laughed as she caught up to him and snatched him into her arms. When she began to tickle the boy’s ribs, Gideon burst out into childish giggles. Isaac stared, fascinated by their play, and found his lips curving in response.

Jedidiah returned and picked up the end of the table. “My son is enjoying himself. Ellen will make a gut mudder one day.”

A mudder? She was too young to be a mother. Without saying a word, Isaac shot her one last quick glance. His gaze locked with Ellen’s briefly as she set Gideon down, then turned away. He focused his attention on moving the table.

“Sarah wants it there,” Jed said with a nod of his head.

“Close to the house, near the back door?” Isaac guessed.

“Ja, she says it’ll be easier for the women to bring out the food.”

They carried the table to the designated area. After the brothers had set the table in place, their parents arrived. Isaac followed Jedidiah to greet them. He reached for the platter of cupcakes and cookies in his mother’s arms.

“Where’s my grosssoohn?” Mam asked when Isaac had returned after putting the dish on the table.

“He’s playing with Ellen.” Jedidiah grinned as his son ran away from the young woman, who laughed as she took off after him.

Gideon saw his grandmother and raced toward her. Unaware, Ellen gave chase, looking eager to catch the little boy.

“G’mammi!” the child exclaimed as he threw himself against Mam.

Ellen saw Katie and halted a few feet away. “Now I know why he was running this way,” she said with a grin.

“He’s having a gut time with you, I see,” Dat said.

“I’ve been having a gut time myself, Samuel.”

“You like children,” Isaac commented, unable to help himself.

She stiffened as if she’d just realized that he was there, but then he saw her relax as if she’d come to accept his presence. “Ja, I do.”

They chatted for several minutes about Katie and Samuel’s grandchildren and how much all of them had grown. Then Jedidiah picked up his son and accompanied their parents toward the house, leaving Isaac alone with Ellen.

He studied Ellen intently. “Your bruises... Your cheek looks better, but now you have one on your forehead.” He paused. “You’re feeling better?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “Ja, much better.”

He looked at her approvingly. “Gut.”

Sarah approached. “Ellen, may I talk with you for a moment?” She waved Ellen to follow and the two women moved away to chat privately.

Isaac wondered what they were discussing. He saw Ellen nod with a smile and Sarah grin, looking pleased.

“I think Sarah is asking Ellen if she’ll help out after the baby comes,” Jedidiah said softly as he rejoined Isaac.

Isaac glanced at his brother with surprise. “You mean Sarah’s...?”

Jed beamed. “Ja.”

“God has blessed you, Bruder.” Isaac was pleased for his oldest brother, who dearly loved his wife and son. “I’m happy for you.”

His brother looked at him. “One day you’ll have a family of your own.”

Isaac shook his head. “Not anytime soon. I learned a hard lesson with Nancy.”

“The Englisher was never like the girls in our community.” Jedidiah hesitated. “We were worried from the start that she’d hurt you.”

Isaac felt his stomach tighten. “I never knew you felt that way. You were all kind to her.”

“And why wouldn’t we be? You liked her. We hoped we were wrong, but she didn’t seem as involved in your relationship as you.”

Isaac sighed. If only he’d been smart enough then to realize the truth—that Nancy never cared for him. He thought of Ellen and recalled the friendship they’d once shared. Fool that he was, he’d tossed it away in favor of Nancy, believed Nancy over her when Ellen had wanted only to make him see Nancy’s true nature.

Too many regrets. He didn’t want to talk or even think about Nancy any more. She was gone, and he was glad. Jedidiah was an astute man and he let lie the topic of his past relationship with her.

Sarah and Ellen approached. “We’re going to see to lunch. Either one of you hungry?”

“I am,” Jed said.

Sarah gazed at him with affection. “You’re always hungry.”

“Always for your cherry pie.”

“I didn’t make a cherry pie for today.”

“I made a cherry pie,” Ellen said with a smile.

Jed’s dark eyes lit up, and Isaac groaned as he shook his head. “What is it with my bruders and their sweets?” he groused.

Ellen raised one eyebrow. “You don’t care for sweets?”

“I like them well enough, but my older bruders are obsessed.”

“You don’t like snitz or custard pie, I imagine,” Ellen said.

“Custard pie?” Isaac asked. He enjoyed custard pie.

“Vanilla custard.” She looked amused.

“I like custard pie. You made one?”

She nodded. “Too bad you don’t like sweets. Fortunately, there are plenty of folk here who will be happy to eat my custard pie.” She walked away with a laugh and Isaac could only stare at her. A small smile curved his lips and he chuckled. I deserved that. But if she thinks I’ll not be getting a slice of that custard pie, she is mistaken. She’s yet to learn how determined I can be to get what I want.

It wasn’t long until food was put on the table that he and Jed had set in the backyard. Besides the Masts and his own family, the Kings, the Peachys, the Zooks, and Alta Hershberger and her two daughters had come to share their visiting day. This was Jed and Sarah’s first gathering at the farm. Watching his sister-in-law move among her guests, Isaac felt admiration for Sarah’s ease with having so many people at her home. He wondered if he’d ever have a place where he could invite family and friends and feel so comfortable with them. Ever since the night when Whittier’s Store was vandalized by Nancy’s brother and his friends, he hadn’t known a moment’s peace. He’d taken the blame for something he didn’t do, not because Nancy had asked him to—although she had—but because he’d been protecting a male friend, another member of their Amish community. Other church members, he knew, now looked at him with disappointment. It bothered him that they’d never questioned whether or not he could have been guilty, but just accepted that he was. He didn’t feel less in the eyes of his family. His mother and father were supportive of all of their children, but he couldn’t help feeling as if he’d let them down, too.

He’d hoped that his friend Henry would come forward and confess his part in the Whittier’s Store debacle. But Henry had kept silent and remained noticeably absent from the community and Isaac’s life. Apparently afraid to speak up after seeing how the community reacted to Isaac’s guilt, Henry must have been unable to bear what would happen if he were to admit that he was one of the guilty parties.

No one is more disappointed with me than I am, Isaac thought. By taking the blame, he had effectively lied. And that was what made it difficult for him to stay in Happiness. As hard as it would be to live out in the English world, it might be better than living here without joining the Amish church. And how could he join the church when he didn’t feel worthy?

Seeing Ellen with his nephew made him think of simpler, happier times when he and she roamed the countryside together as friends. He’d made a terrible mistake when he’d taken up with Nancy, Brad and their English friends. Now he was destined to pay for it.

* * *

Ellen did what she could to help Sarah put out lunch before she went in search of her friend Elizabeth. She was eager to go rumspringa and she wanted Elizabeth to go with her. She found Elizabeth with a group of young people, including the Peachy siblings and Peter Zook, who had congregated near the pasture fence.

“Elizabeth,” she called as she approached. Her friend’s eyes brightened when she saw her. “May we talk?” Ellen asked.

Elizabeth said something to the group before she joined Ellen, who stood on the outskirts several yards away. “Is there something wrong?” her friend asked.

“Nay, I want to go into Lancaster next Saturday.”

Her eyes gleamed. “A rumspringa adventure?” Elizabeth asked.

“Ja. Would you like to go?”

“Ja.” Elizabeth nodded vigorously. “What should we tell our eldre?”

“The truth,” Ellen said, hoping her parents would approve.

Her friend agreed. “What will we do?”

“Shop? Eat? See a movie?” Ellen grinned. “Whatever we want to do.” Check out the Westmore Clinic for Special Children, she thought.

After talking with her friend, Ellen grew more excited about the trip and couldn’t wait to ask her mam and dat for permission. But she decided to wait until later to approach them.

* * *

“Dat, Mam,” Ellen said after they had returned from Jedidiah and Sarah’s house and everyone had settled in at home. “I’d like to go into Lancaster with Elizabeth next Saturday.”

Her father frowned as he faced her. “Why?”

Ellen felt her belly flutter with nerves. “We want to go on rumspringa. I’m old enough to experience the English world. We thought we’d get something to eat and wander about the outlet mall.”

“I don’t know if that’s a gut idea—” Dat began.

“I don’t see why you can’t go,” her mother said at the same time that her father spoke. Mam immediately grew silent. She wouldn’t go against her father’s wishes.

Ellen’s spirits plummeted. Her dat wasn’t going to allow her to go.

“She is old enough, William,” Mam said gently, much to Ellen’s shock.

Dat narrowed his gaze as he studied his daughter. “Nay, she can’t be.”

“I’m seventeen, Dat.”

Her father looked surprised. “You are?” He firmed his lips. “You’ve grown up too fast.”

Ellen noted his surprise with amusement. “You still have plenty of time with the boys. They are a long way from rumspringa age.”

“Why now, Dochter?” he asked seriously. “Do you plan to leave our community? Are you unhappy here?”

“Nay, Dat. I have no plans to leave, but I want to see the English world. Just because I want to see it doesn’t mean I don’t want a life here...a husband and family.”

“How will you get there?” Dat asked, looking relieved.

“May I take the pony cart? Or we can hire a driver to take us.”

Her mother leaned close to whisper something in Dat’s ear. Her father nodded and said, “You may go next Saturday, Ellen, but I will hire a driver for you.”

Ellen beamed at him. “Danki, Dat.”

“Just come home safe and sound with no ideas of wanting to leave us,” he warned. Ellen shifted uncomfortably as she thought of the clinic and her reason for visiting. Would her father and mother be upset after her return when she presented them with more information in an attempt to convince them to allow her to work there?

That night as she lay in bed, Ellen thought of the fun she’d enjoyed with her cousin Gideon and then her excitement as she and Elizabeth had discussed their Lancaster trip. She tried not to think of Isaac, with whom she’d spoken only briefly. It had been nice of him to inquire about her injuries. She’d been disturbingly aware of how he’d continually watched her.

Next Saturday, she thought with a smile, dismissing Isaac from her mind. She couldn’t wait for Saturday’s adventure with Elizabeth.

Chapter Four

Monday and Tuesday went by quickly as Ellen did her regular chores, including washing clothes and hanging the laundry on the line to dry. Wednesday morning she and Mam headed to Katie’s house for their monthly quilting bee. It was a glorious day. The sun was bright in a clear azure sky and the spring blossoms looked pretty in the Amish and English yards they passed. Ellen wondered if she’d see Isaac today and decided that she wouldn’t let the prospect bother her. Odds were that he would be out working with Samuel in the fields or with Jedidiah for Matt Rhoades, who had recently started his own construction company. In any event, even if she did see Isaac this morning, it wouldn’t be for long. There was no reason for her to feel anxious or nervous. He had helped her last week, she had thanked him politely and she was fine. It wasn’t as if she were in danger of falling for him again. The only reason they’d spent time in each other’s company was that the circumstances of her accident had forced it upon them.

“How many do you think will come today?” she asked her mother.

“About ten, I suppose, as usual, with the exception of Martha.”

Ellen smiled as she thought of the baby quilt they would be working on today. It wasn’t large enough for a double bed. With the ten women working on it, the quilt would be completed in no time.

“Mam, don’t you think it’s going to be a bit crowded around the quilt rack if ten women show up?”

Her mother frowned as she maneuvered the buggy into a turn. “Hadn’t given it any thought.”

“If there are too many, I can do something else.”

“Nay. Katie would rather have you stay than some of the others.”

Driving past, Ellen waved to Annie Zook as she exited Whittier’s Store. The young woman’s face lit up as she acknowledged Ellen’s wave with her own. She had EJ, her son, and her baby daughter, Susanna, with her.

“Are you coming to quilting?” Ellen called as Mam slowed the buggy and steered toward the right to allow a number of cars to pass by safely.

“Ja, I’ll be there after I get these little ones home,” Annie answered. “Mam said she’d stay back to watch them today.”

“Why not bring them?” Ellen suggested. “Won’t Hannah be there?”

“Ja, and Daniel,” Annie said, referring to her brother-in-law. “I’ll talk with Mam.”

Once the roadway was clear, her mother drove back onto the road and continued on.

Ellen smiled as she glanced back to see Annie put her children into the buggy. “She looks happy,” she murmured.

Mam flashed a smile. “Ja, she is. Jacob has been gut for her, and I’m glad she finally understood that. He’s loved her since he was a young boy.”

Ellen raised her eyebrows. “He has?”

“Ja, and he nearly gave up. Annie fell for Jedidiah and Jacob thought that he didn’t have a chance with her. Later, after Jed found Sarah, Jake hoped for another chance.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Katie and Miriam, although Miriam wasn’t keen on it at first.”

Ellen reached up to straighten her kapp. “Why not?”

“That was right after Horseshoe Joe had his accident. She wanted someone who was financially able to take care of Annie. Someone like Ike King.”

Ellen shuddered. “He was too old for her.” She thought of Martha. “He was too old for Martha, too, but she married him anyway. She genuinely cared for him, didn’t she?” She studied her mother to gauge her reaction.

“I believe she did.” Mam’s lips firmed. “’Tis too bad he passed on, but it must have been God’s plan. I’ve never seen her as happy with Ike as she is now with Eli.”

Ellen had to agree. She’d never seen such joy in Martha’s brown eyes during the year she’d been married to Ike. Still, she was sorry that Ike had passed on. He’d been a nice man and Amos King’s younger brother. And he’d been wonderful to Martha. They had all taken comfort that Ike was in the Lord’s hands and thus resided with Him in heaven.

There were two buggies in Katie’s barnyard as Mam pulled in and parked. No one was in the yard as they climbed out and retrieved the food dishes they’d made to share with the other women. She had made lima beans in tomato sauce and lemon chiffon cake. Mam had made chocolate brownies and macaroni salad. There would be plenty to eat today, more than enough to share with any of the male Lapp family members who might come in for lunch.

For a moment, Ellen’s thoughts dwelled on Isaac Lapp. She wasn’t alarmed that she’d thought of him; after all, this was his home.

Katie’s door opened immediately after Mam knocked. Ellen felt her heart skip a bit as she caught a quick glance at the man who stood there. Isaac. The image of Isaac flittered away and she realized that it wasn’t Isaac waiting patiently for them to enter. It was Joseph, the youngest brother. He was the spitting image of his older brother until she looked closer and saw the difference in eye color and the shape of his mouth. Joseph had younger, less mature features. Still, he was a handsome boy and would one day become an extremely attractive man.

“Hallo, Joseph,” she greeted after Mam had gone in first.

“Ellen.” He nodded. “My mudder and the others are in the gathering room.” He glanced down at the food in her arms and finally smiled. “You’ve brought lemon cake.”

“Ja.” She stepped past him and waited while he closed the door. “You like lemon chiffon cake.”

“Ja.” His smile became a grin. “Looking forward to midday meal today.” He stared at her cake plate. “I can take that for you.”

“Oll recht.” She handed him the cake plate and Joseph disappeared into the back kitchen area. She heard someone coming down the steps from upstairs and looked up, expecting to see Katie or Hannah, her daughter. She froze. It was Isaac.

“Hallo, Ellen,” he greeted as he approached. He narrowed his eyes as he studied her face. “Your forehead’s turned a light shade of purple. Is it sore?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

She sighed. “A little.”

“How is your cheek? Can you smile yet without grimacing?” he teased. “Or does it still hurt?”

“What are you doing here, Isaac?” she said stiffly. She wasn’t in the mood for his teasing or his questions about her health. “I thought you’d be working.”

“Disappointed?”

She stared at him, wishing he would leave.

“I’m going to work soon. We’ve been waiting for the plumber to finish. Matt’s picking Daniel and me up on his way to the job site.” He glanced toward the staircase. “Daniel! Matt’s going to be here any minute.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” Ellen said tartly, and Isaac looked at her with an odd little smile.

“Ellen?” Mam called as she reappeared, peeking her head from a doorway. “We’re ready to start. You’ll want to get a good seat.”

“Coming!” She turned back to Isaac. “Have a gut day at work, Isaac,” she said, trying to be more polite.

Joseph returned from the kitchen. “I hid the cake in the back room,” he confided with a grin.

“Gut thinking, Joseph,” Ellen said with a chuckle. Isaac arched an eyebrow in question. “Lemon chiffon cake,” she explained. “Apparently, it’s your bruder’s favorite. He’s protecting his fair share.”

Eager to escape, she left him to join her mother in the gathering room, where Katie Lapp and several other women were seated around the quilting rack. She didn’t know how long it would be before Matt Rhoades picked up Isaac and Daniel. Ellen tried not to think about Isaac at all as she greeted the other ladies in the room.

“Over here, Ellen.” Katie gestured toward a seat between her and Mam. “I’m glad you’ve come.”

“I enjoy quilting.”

Mae King, who lived across the road, sat directly in front of her. On either side of Mae were her married daughters, Charlotte Peachy, who’d married their deacon, and Nancy Zook, who’d married Annie’s brother Josiah. Ellen was pleased to see these young women, who were always pleasant and fun. She was disappointed that Elizabeth and her mother weren’t here. She’d hoped to have a few private words with her friend about their outing on Saturday. She didn’t know if Elizabeth’s parents had agreed to let her friend go.

The six of them chatted for a while, and Katie offered them iced or hot tea. Ellen chose the iced tea, as the gleaming iced tea pitcher sitting on the table looked inviting as well as refreshing, and since it was a glorious day and the windows were open, it seemed the best choice.

“We saw Annie on our way over,” she told Katie. “Coming out of Whittier’s. Said she was going home to drop off EJ and Susanna and then she’d be here.”

“Miriam offered to watch them,” Katie said. “I wish they’d all come. Hannah is here to care for them—and Joseph.”

Ellen felt her face turn red. “I’m glad you said that. I’m afraid I may have overstepped when I suggested the same thing.” She felt relieved as she saw pleasure come to Katie’s expression. “I thought that Daniel would be here. I didn’t think of Joseph.”

“He’s certainly a grown-up young man,” Mam commented. “How old is he now?”

“Eleven.”

Ellen shook her head in wonder. Would he continue to look exactly like Isaac when he got older?

Elizabeth and her mother arrived to join the quilting bee gathering, and moments later Miriam Zook came with Annie and her two children.

“You’ve brought them,” Katie gushed. “Gut.”

“I didn’t think about Hannah and Daniel,” Annie admitted. “And I wanted to spend the day with my mudder, too.”

Miriam glanced fondly at her daughter. “Are Hannah and Daniel here?”

“Hannah is,” Katie said. “And Joseph. I don’t think he’ll mind watching EJ.” She got up and left the room, then returned with her daughter and son.

“EJ!” Joseph exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with pleasure. “Would you like to go out and play?” He shot a look to his sister-in-law, who nodded. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go see the animals in the barn.”

Hannah was more than happy to stay with Susanna. She spread a quilt on the floor not far from the women and sat, setting the baby next to her.

Conversation started to buzz as the women threaded their needles and got to work.

“Alta’s not here?” Elizabeth’s mother asked.

“She’s not coming today,” Miriam said. Alta Hershberger, the resident busybody, was her sister-in-law, although Alta’s husband, Miriam’s younger brother John, had passed on when their two daughters were nine and ten. “She said she needed to go to market with Mary.”