Red Shoes and A Diary

“Listen. I don’t want to have sex…”

Meghan’s words faded into silence. She blinked several times as her cheeks started to flame. This wasn’t the hairy little gnomelike man who’d propositioned her earlier. Slowly she pulled her focus up from the button fly of a pair of well-worn jeans.

Her gaze continued up, past a slim waist to a broad chest, beyond a set of wide shoulders until her eyes found his ruggedly handsome face. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Tall, dark and fabulous, this bad boy had walked straight out of her erotic fantasies.

“I didn’t know it was that kind of resort,” he said, grinning. “Usually I have to ask before I get rejected.”

The rough timbre of his voice sent a shiver down her spine. “Um, I thought you were someone else.”

His smile widened in amusement…and interest? “You mean you do want to have sex?”

Meghan didn’t know how to respond to his teasing. This guy was too hot. Thinking about her plans to indulge in a no-strings affair with a stranger, she suddenly wasn’t so sure she could go through with it. Then he smiled, radiating dark sensuality and dangerous allure.

Then again, she thought. What red-blooded woman could resist?

Dear Reader,

Can you imagine a perfect lover, a man who somehow knows your secret desires? Can you imagine giving in to sensual impulses and living out your sexy fantasies?

Meghan Foster wants to have a wildly passionate affair, like the ones she writes about in her diary. Alex Worth is the kind of guy fantasies are created for. But the ideal man isn’t always what he seems. Especially when he’s using Meghan’s own imagination to seduce her…

I’m thrilled to be writing for Blaze, a line I’ve enjoyed since its launch a year and a half ago. These books have brought me countless hours of sensual reading pleasure. I hope you get as much enjoyment from reading about Alex and Meghan’s sexual adventures as I did coming up with them.

The journey to publication is often a long and frustrating one. To find out how I got here, and to see where I’m going, visit my Web site at www.miazachary.com. Follow your dreams. You never know where they might take you.

I wish you joy.

Mia Zachary

P.S. While you’re online, be sure to check out www.tryblaze.com.

Red Shoes & A Diary

Mia Zachary

MILLS & BOON

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With love to Mom, who always believed,

and to Heather, who was always there.

I’m deeply grateful to my wonderful editor, Brenda Chin, for taking a chance and for hating my cruise ship. Special thanks to my critique partners, Kelly Young and Deanna Lilly, and to all my friends at www.cataromance.com.

Monday, July 14

What will it be like to have a physical encounter with a stranger? To give myself over to sexual exploration and shed my inhibitions?

On these pages, as “Elise,” my other self, I’ve been wild and sensual, daring and seductive. I’ve fantasized about a tall, dark-haired lover who makes me feel sexy, desirable, feminine. I’ve dreamed of taking chances, letting go.

With the last entry of this diary comes a new beginning. What will it be like to find a lover and say, “Take me, I’m yours”?

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

1

ALEX WORTH STRODE down the fancy marbled hallway, looking for his room—his “suite.” He never thought a guy like him would be staying in a place like the Cayo Sueño Resort. Finally, an undercover assignment with perks.

His conscience spoke loudly in his head. Remember how you got here. Don’t forget what’s at stake.

He ignored the stab of guilt and kept walking. There, on the left. Room—Suite 809. He disengaged the lock and swung the door open. The first thing he noticed was a pair of sandals in front of the couch. The cherry-red high heels had “seduce me” written all over them.

Alex glanced at his magnetic hotel card key and then checked it against the door number. He was in the right place. He looked back over at the sexy sandals. Talk about service. The hotel room came with a woman.

“Hello?”

He listened intently for any sound of movement. Nothing.

After setting his carry-all in the foyer, he slammed the door shut as a warning.

Still no answer. The thick carpet muffled his steps as he moved farther into the suite. He called out again, his voice echoing off the pale papered walls.

“Hello? Anyone here?”

He poked his head into the bathroom. No woman. Just a makeup bag on the vanity and a used towel hanging on the shower rod. The living room was empty, too, except for the lingering scent of perfume. Something floral, but somehow smoky…

A lace-edged bra and matching panties were carefully arranged on the couch cushion. Alex smirked. Who was this woman? The bright red lingerie had been laid out precisely, like she’d wanted to see how they’d look on her body. He picked up the bra, trying to imagine the breasts that fit into it. The satin fabric felt slippery between his fingers and it wasn’t hard to picture a hot babe who was equally slick.

He dropped the bra back on the couch, scooped the sandals off the floor and headed for the other room. Maybe the woman was lounging on the bed silently waiting for him.

Nope. No such luck. What the hell was going on? How did she get into his suite, and more importantly, where was she now?

Two small suitcases sat against the wall beside the closet. He set the shoes down and flipped one of the luggage tags around. Apparently Meghan Elise Foster was visiting Florida from Baltimore, Maryland. He had a name now, but her reason for being here was still a mystery.

He’d been invited to Cayo Sueño by Rogelio Braga, his connection in the Miami cartel. Braga was supposed to introduce him to the infamous Frankie Ramos. So Alex couldn’t trust anything about this trip, not even bright red panties that begged, “touch me.” Too many good agents had been compromised in situations just like this.

A third suitcase lay open on the bed. It was half full, as if she’d been interrupted. He didn’t hesitate over rummaging through the contents. He’d worked undercover too long to let a little issue like privacy stop him. He had to know who this woman was.

The “touch me” panties and “seduce me” sandals didn’t go with the clothes laid out on the bed. Quality, with recognizable labels, but kind of plain. The skirts were long, the necklines high and everything was a solid color, not a stripe or pattern in sight.

On the other hand, the underwear couldn’t have been hotter. He recognized it from his ex-wife’s catalogues that still came to the house. Bright floral demi bras, satin tap pants and lace camisoles spilled from the suitcase. Most of the stuff still had price tags attached.

Weird. Maybe Ms. Foster was going through some kind of identity crisis—something he could easily relate to. Still, this whole thing was making him uneasy. He’d turned to leave when he noticed a hardbound book on the window seat. It looked like an address book or a calendar.

Curious, he went over to check it out. Guessing from the handwritten paragraphs on the open page, he’d found Ms. Foster’s journal. He focused on the actual words and his brows shot up in surprise. Whoa.

Suddenly he appears, glorious in his nakedness. Tall and strong and beautiful, my fantasy lover stands beside me under the waterfall. He raises his arms to me and the bright sun lights the water droplets rolling down his magnificent body. He moves toward me, offers himself to me. No gesture could be more flattering, more seductive, than seeing the rigid proof that I am desired.

As the image burned itself into Alex’s brain, the effect was hard and immediate. His skin felt hot, his chest tight, as his pulse accelerated. He clapped the book shut before tossing it back onto the window seat. It slipped off the edge, pages flapping, and fell to the floor. He stared at the blue paisley cover for a second, struggling with his conscience.

Arousal won. He rifled the pages until he found the waterfall entry again.

He wraps his arms around me, lifts me off my feet, all the while plundering my mouth with his tongue. Our bodies join as he lowers me onto him. I cry out from the sheer intensity of the pleasure as he begins to rock his hips. Mating beneath the cascade, he lifts me repeatedly, my body sliding, his thrusting—

Knock knock knock.

Startled, Alex snapped the journal shut. In the space of a breath he went on alert, adrenaline pumping into his system. It couldn’t be Ms. Foster. She didn’t have to knock. Only two people knew for certain he was here—one a friend, the other a target. And his partner wasn’t due to arrive until later.

He reached around for the gun in the waistband of his jeans. Shit. His Beretta was back in Miami with his badge and his real ID. The finance geek he was impersonating wouldn’t be armed. He had to get himself together—fast.

His name was “Nicholas Alexander.” He owned a small brokerage firm in Coral Gables. He was here to discuss ways of moving the cartel’s money out of the country.

Show time.

Grabbing the knob, he closed his eyes, willing his rapid pulse to slow. He remembered the muzzle flash. A sharp crack of sound. Pain. His eyes flew open. “Nick” swallowed hard and answered the door.

A bellman stood in the entrance, a professional smile on his face. “Mr. Alexander? I have a delivery for you, sir.”

Alex controlled his expression, gave away none of his relief. He transferred the small book he still held into his right hand. “Do I need to sign anything?”

“No, sir. This came from within the resort.” The young man handed over a bottle of champagne and bid him a good afternoon.

Back in the living room, he put the bottle and the note that came with it on the coffee table. No problem. Just a delivery. He didn’t have to face Braga yet. He could relax.

Too bad his body didn’t respond as fast as his brain.

Sinking heavily onto the sofa, he rested his elbows on his knees and drew in a shaky breath. He swiped his palms up and down his face, irritated to discover beads of sweat around his hairline. The panic attacks were coming too often.

Deep unhappiness, resentment and frustration welled up inside him, making his eyes sting. The nausea slowly dissipated, but its aftereffect gnawed at his confidence. He brushed the fingers of his left hand over the scar on his temple.

I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.

He’d spent the past eight years in the Drug Enforcement Agency, three and a half of those with the Special Operations Division, a joint national task force of agents, prosecutors and analysts from the DEA, FBI and U.S. Customs Service. Alex considered himself one of the best agents the SOD had. He was the first one through the door, the first one to volunteer for assignments. The job had always been enough— Hell, it was everything until six weeks ago.

The meeting in Overtown had gone south when an informant double-crossed the team. She was killed in the ensuing gunfire and his partner’s cover was blown. “Nick” had inadvertently saved Rogelio Braga’s life, but landed in the hospital with a bullet graze on his forehead.

Over the past month, his mild anxiety had escalated to a sickening panic. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The DEA psychologist had patiently explained it. Most law enforcement personnel exhibited some symptoms following a traumatic stressor. Alex had silently glared through the mandatory therapy.

PTSD, my ass. He just had trouble sleeping, that was all.

After successfully infiltrating the cartel, he was under a lot of pressure to close the case. As the stakes increased, so did the dread of being shot in the face again. He hated this…weakness. And he was starting to hate this job.

He picked up the champagne and inspected the label before reading the note. “Alexander. Welcome to Cayo Sueño. I hope you enjoy my little gift. I’m sure you will put it to good use. Braga.”

A gift, huh? The smoky floral perfume lingering in the room tickled his nostrils. He needed to track down Meghan Foster and figure out whether she was here by accident or by design. Either way, he couldn’t wait to see how she looked wearing those cherry-red sandals.

“I JUST HAD sex on the beach. Wanna try it?”

A bony elbow nudged Meghan Foster in the ribs. She turned until she was cleavage to face with the hairiest man she’d ever seen. The fur on his chin and torso more than compensated for the lack of a single strand on his head.

“Excuse me?” She backed up against the rail of the pool deck, suppressing the urge to cross her arms over her breasts.

“It’s a joke. Ya know, Sex on the Beach. The drink?” He raised his umbrella-laden glass to indicate the pink liquid inside. “So, how ’bout it? We could have ‘Sex’ together.”

Meghan shuddered at the image of this hairy gnome wearing nothing but sand and a gap-toothed smile. “Um, no. I think not.”

“Ya don’t know what yer missing, girlie.”

“I do, actually.”

The gnome shrugged his fuzzy shoulders and went off to accost someone else.

Quite a few of her diary fantasies involved water. In fact, she’d written several versions of the famous scene in the movie From Here to Eternity. But if another man ever suggested making love in the surf, he’d better be younger, taller and better-looking.

A steel band played for the welcome reception and her hips swayed to the beat of the Calypso tune. Looking around, she couldn’t believe the crowd. The party had turned into good-natured chaos, overflowing from the veranda onto the sundeck above the main pool.

Pushing her glasses into place, Meghan squinted against the glare from the aquamarine water. Pale gray clouds flirted with the late afternoon sun, but did little to dispel the heat. She was really sorry she’d chosen this outfit. The silk blouse clung to her skin and her linen walking shorts felt too thick and heavy. She swallowed the last mouthful of cola from her crystal tumbler and set it on the rail.

Angling her head from side to side, she searched the crowd for her sister. Julie was the Cayo Sueño entertainment director. She and Mom had saved up to surprise Meghan with this much-needed holiday. Mom had even told her not to behave herself.

The memory made her smile. She had absolutely no intention of being a good girl. A week on Dream Key was exactly what she needed to start her new life and she wasn’t going to waste a single moment. Tilting her face toward the Florida sun, she imagined the humid air smelled hot, spicy and a little dangerous.

That’s going to be me—hot, spicy and dangerous.

Uptight. Cold. Boring. Rob’s words echoed nastily in her mind. He’d flung the insults at her the day she’d found the crotchless panties. She’d never in her life worn crotchless panties.

How dumb could one person be? When Rob had told her he was working late, she’d believed him. When he’d said he had to go out of town on business, she’d still believed him. And the whole time he’d been boinking that silicone-enhanced blonde at the office. He hadn’t even bothered to deny he was cheating, and that hurt worse than the affair itself.

Rob blamed Meghan for the affair, accusing her of being too inexperienced and withdrawn to satisfy him. He’d found a “real” woman who was sexy and adventurous and sophisticated—all of the things that she wasn’t. All of the things she couldn’t be—except in her secret diary.

The betrayal had left her emotionally shattered and totally unsure of her appeal as a woman. She’d known something was missing in their relationship. When they’d had sex, part of her had held back from fully giving and accepting pleasure— Meghan shoved the memory aside, determined to move on. The past couldn’t be undone, no matter how hard she wished.

What she needed was an affair of her own. The kind of no-strings, no-regrets sexual encounter she had only written and dreamed about. This week, she was finally going to live a little, have fun, go wild. She was going to be a Sex Goddess in Training. Once she found the right guy—

An elbow knocked into her ribs again. She huffed out an impatient sigh, expecting to see the hairy little gnome again. She whirled to confront him, tilting her head down as she spoke.

“Listen. I don’t want to have sex….” The words faded into silence. She blinked several times as her cheeks started to flame. Definitely not the gnome. Slowly, she pulled her focus up from the button fly of a pair of well-worn jeans.

Her gaze continued up, way up, past a slim waist to a broad chest covered by a blue-and-yellow floral shirt. She looked beyond muscular arms to a set of wide shoulders until her eyes found the ruggedly handsome face. Seeing the sable hair tousled over his forehead, her fingers itched to test the silkiness of those unruly strands. It looked like he hadn’t shaved his short, dark whiskers in days.

Omigod. A tiny gold hoop sparkled in his left earlobe!

The modern-day pirate arched one eyebrow. That’s when she noticed a thin groove that ended at his hairline. Startled, she dropped her gaze to his mouth. Big mistake. He had a wide mouth with full, totally kissable lips. They parted in a dazzling display of even, white teeth. The friendly-yet-sexy grin sent a wave of lust rushing though her.

He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Tall, dark and fabulous, this bad boy had walked straight out of her erotic fantasies. She saw her own gaping reflection in the mirrored sunglasses hiding his eyes and closed her mouth.

“Didn’t know it was that kind of resort. Usually I have to ask before I get rejected.”

The rough timbre of his voice sent a shiver down her spine. Who would be crazy enough to reject him? Meghan pushed her eyeglasses back onto her nose. This guy was just too incredible to be real.

“Um, I thought you were someone else.”

His smile widened in amusement…and interest? “You mean, you do want to have sex?”

“Not with the gnome. I mean— Oh, never mind.” His rumbling chuckle turned her on even more.

Now would be a great time for a dignified exit, but she was frozen in place. No, not frozen. This guy was too hot. She continued to stare at her fantasy come to life. Faced with the reality of seducing a stranger, she wasn’t sure she could go through with it. Then he smiled again, radiating dark sensuality and a dangerous allure.

What Sex Goddess in Training could resist?

2

He is everything I ever wanted in a man, all that I’ve dreamed of. When I see him, there is a primitive recognition. Ours eyes meet, our souls collide.

“YOU’RE NOT what I expected.”

“Pardon?” Meghan blinked and focused on the pirate instead of her runaway pheromones.

“Um, I meant you’re kind of overdressed for a beachside resort.” His mouth curved into an odd smile. “Nice shoes.”

She glanced down at the high-heeled white sandals that went with her walking shorts. “I guess I haven’t gotten into vacation mode yet.”

With a tip of his head, he indicated the crowd of people around them. “This is some party, huh?”

“It just got a lot better.” Was she flirting? She was flirting. Cool.

His smile widened at the inadvertent compliment and he stood a little taller, if that were possible. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Meghan dropped her gaze, not believing him. This guy was sending out signals that had her completely off-balance. She fidgeted, twirling the gold bracelet around her wrist. “So, do you come here often?”

“Never been to this resort before, but I spend a lot of time in Key West.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a broker.”

She glanced at his shirt. A blind man could see that bold, gaudy pattern a mile away. “Forgive the observation, but it’s hard to picture you calling orders down to the trading floor.”

“Working vacations are always casual. What about you?”

Someone jostled him from behind. As he turned to look, he took an unconscious step toward her. His right hand bumped her breast and a shock of awareness zinged along her nerve endings. She gasped and he swung around, looking at her curiously.

Wow. If she reacted like this to an accidental fondle, she wasn’t sure she could handle a deliberate one. Reeling from the thrill of his unexpected touch, it took a second to remember his question.

“Oh, um. For the past few years I’ve been working as a paralegal.”

“That’s a legal assistant, right?”

“Yes. I did most of the work for a trial, like filing documents with the court, interviewing witnesses and preparing evidence.” Meghan realized she was babbling. She smoothed a damp palm over her hair and cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’m starting at University of Miami Law this fall.”

“So you’re going to be an attorney.” The corners of his mouth angled into a smirk. “Did you hear they’re using lawyers in lab experiments now? Apparently there are some things even rats won’t do.”

“Gee, I never heard that one before.” She rolled her eyes and laughed along with him. “I’m going into civil law, not criminal. I want to do mediation and binding arbitration.”

“I guess this is your last vacation for a while.” He tipped his beer bottle toward her in salute. “Here’s hoping it’s a memorable one.”

She felt another wave of heat, and not just in her cheeks. His voice was low and smooth, as sensuous as the rasp of bodies sliding over satin sheets… The sound of laughter and applause brought her back to the present.

“Want to see what’s going on?” Her pirate gallantly offered his arm, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow. His skin felt warm, the dark hairs silky. Her fingertips tingled at the point of contact, sending a tremor along her nerves.

He forged a path to the pool side of the deck, made space near the railing and maneuvered her to stand in front of him. His body heat penetrated her back and she had a crazy urge to rub her tush against his zipper.

Very subtly, she angled her head to the side. Casting a glance over one shoulder, Meghan studied her fantasy man. She mentally stripped off his garish shirt and tight jeans. His body would be perfect—she just knew it. Lean, hard, athletic. Hard.

If she felt the stirrings of lust, this damp and quivering desire, then she couldn’t be frigid. Her reaction to this gorgeous guy proved that she was a normal, healthy woman.

He must have sensed her ogling him, because he looked down and grinned knowingly. Busted. With a hot blush and a quiet sigh, she turned her attention to the makeshift stage below.

The staff at Cayo Sueño introduced themselves. She listened absently to the various names, origins and job titles.

“—happy to plan your exercise and workout schedule—”