Simple Princess

“Who were they?” Estella had never seen such bizarre creatures in her life.

“Boggles,” said Reason, sounding reluctant. “I can’t stand them, though they’re better than boogeys.”

“What’s the difference?”

“They’re just as bad, but they’re werewolves, too. They can turn into dogs and attack,” Reason clung to Estella. “Get a grip on your horse!”

One of the boggles, with its weird red hat, galloped right out beneath the horse’s hooves, and the horse bucked.

“Don’t you know how to use spurs?” Reason reprimanded me. “Spur the horse, and let him gallop faster.”

The horse calmed down as soon as the boggle ran past. The knights, who had not seen Reason, spotted the boggles and began to baptize.

“What warriors they are! They’ll run to the temple at the first sign of trouble and leave the Princess alone in the field,” Reason hissed in frustration.

“Aren’t you afraid of boggles? They’re miniature goblins!”

“You got that right. The dragon disturbed them. They would have been slumbering under the battlefield. The blood of fallen warriors fed them. Look how red their hats have turned. They become so red from the blood spilled above, and the boggles themselves sit beneath the soil and laugh at the fighting humans.”

Reason spotted tiny creatures, each no bigger than Estella’s little finger. They were moving in a flock away from one of the dragon-burned pits.

“Hold your horse here!” He commanded Estella.

“What’s that for?”

“Don’t ask! Do it!”

Estella obeyed. Reason jumped down, climbed into the hole, brazenly dispersed a flock of midgets, and came back with a whole pot of gold coins. He threw away the pot of clay and poured the gold into the saddlebag of Estella’s horse.

“Leprechauns always have something to eat!” He explained. “I’ll hide it in a hiding place under the throne.”

“What do we need so much gold for?”

“It is just in case there is a rainy day.”

“Are we so poor that we have to steal from the leprechauns?” She turned her attention to the flock of midgets waving their fists in anger at Reason. He left them nothing but shards of broken pot, and took all the coins for himself. “Shall we give them all back?”

“And what shall we do ourselves when times of famine come?”

“Don’t joke, the country is prospering!”

“That’s for now! With a kindness like yours, it wouldn’t take long for the kingdom to be wasted,” Reason began lecturing her again. You might as well cover your ears for him!

“Promise you’ll never steal again!” Estella asked.

“You’d better tell that to the dragon. He’s probably back in the dungeons, sleeping rough and snacking on guards.”

“So that’s where cellar guards often disappear to. The dragon eats them!”

“And tell him not to drink anymore!” Reason quipped. “If you take away his keg of beer, he’ll be so angry he’ll snack on you.”

“I don’t believe you. They say dragons adore princesses.”

“It doesn’t care if it eats a princess or a man in a chain mail. Take my word for it. When he’s drunk, he doesn’t know the difference. And he’s drunk all the time.”

“All right, all right, I believe you!” Estella spurred her horse, and thought to herself that she would meet her dragon again. She liked him very much. He was beautiful, graceful, scaly, like a huge flying emerald. And what a protector he would be if she were to wean him off his alcoholic beverages.

If Reason were to slander him from the vein, what kind of defender would he be? After all, if the dragon were obedient, with such a strong friend, the princess could rule without reason.

Entertainment

Estella wanted to throw a ball to celebrate the resolution of the war problem. But Reason dissuaded her.

“A ball is too expensive,” he said. – And there will be a great many people there too. A dragon, attracted by the noise, might crawl into the ball and frighten away all the guests.

“Very well, then! I want to see it again!” Estella clapped her hands together in joy. “Let’s hurry up and make the ball so the dragon will come to us, or fly over.”

“You are fool, he will not give you a bouquet of roses, and will die fire so that the entire ballroom will burn!”

“Can he ask a girl to dance? Or does the difference in size prevent us from dancing?”

“He can. But it will be your last dance on fire and ashes.”

“Don’t scare me!”

“Did you see what he did to your knights?”

“But I’m a princess, not a knight.”

“Not everyone is gentle with princesses, either. The dragon is a savage! He won’t woo you.”

Estella scowled like a hurt child. And why should she be the only one to obey Reason in everything? She wanted to do things her own way. But if she did her own way, without listening to Reason, she would be a fool again. How hard it is to live! If you do what you want, you will be called a fool, and if you submit to Reason, you will be deprived of all the fun you want.

“Then there will be no ball!” Estella sighed.

“No, it is of course not. It will cost a great deal of money. Guests from other realms might come, and you’d have to feed and wine them all, and entertain them all to the highest standards. And if you don’t please them with the quality of drinks and refreshments, you can expect another war to be declared.”

“But you have so much gold stashed under the throne? Don’t you have enough for a decent ball?”

Reason clamped a clawed paw over her mouth. “The treasure’s in the hiding place for a special purpose.”

“For what purpose is it?”

Estella struggled to wriggle out of his claws.

“Shall I tell you later?”

“What does it mean?”

“The right time comes. In the meantime, forget about balls, carnivals, masquerades, and feasts.”

“It is except the coronation,” Estella reminded him.

“Yes, the coronation is essential,” said Reason. “We can’t do without it,” Reason sighed. “But we’d better get it over to June or they’ll think you’re May’s queen,” he chuckled.

He chuckled muffled at his own joke. Estella was embarrassed, for even she knew that May queens were usually proclaimed the prettiest peasant women who attended the spring village dances. To be May queen means to be queen for just one day.

“I would set your coronation for the night. Midnight would be the best time.”

“Alas, tradition says you can only be crowned in the morning, no later than noon.”

“But then it won’t be your last coronation,” Reason muttered cryptically to himself, but Estella heard him.

“What do you mean?”

“About your destiny,” he scratched his paws. “I’ll make you the only queen on the planet, and I’ll be your only advisor.”

“Oh, well, that sounds like a fantastic plan, Reason.” Estella grumbled unhappily. She’s already finding Aluar’s crown too heavy for her, and he’s going on about the world.

“You do know there will be a fancy-dress ball after the coronation,” she quipped. “You can’t cancel it. My predecessor, the legendary Queen Raymonda, established the tradition of a masquerade ball after the coronation.”

“She was rumored to be a dragon! You’d better not compare yourself to her, or the people will revolt against you.”

“Why don’t we have the ball now instead of after the coronation? I want to dance.”

“It is absolutely not! We won’t be alone at the ball. You must spend more time in my company if you want to get wise. Let’s keep it simple and for only two people.”

And so he and Reason sat down to play chess. He climbed the board, rearranging the pieces, and resembled a bizarre black monkey. Except that his sharp, werewolf-like claws left deep scratches on the chessboard.

Vines and flower vines wrapped around the chess tower of the castle where the game was played. The smell of honeysuckle and roses was pleasantly invigorating. Estella thought that some butterflies, fluttering in the flowers, and suspiciously resembling pixies, were whispering a warning.

“Is the princess playing with an evil spirit or a demon? We must tell her that she is in danger! But she’s not likely to understand our language. People don’t usually understand us.”

But Estella heard and understood. They must have mistaken Reason for an evil spirit. Should she tell them they were wrong? Or would that be an insult to Reason, who for some reason could not hear them?

He was so engrossed in the game that he didn’t notice anything. He preferred to play with black pieces. Estella got the white chess pieces, which had the privilege of making the first move, but it didn’t help her. She too often lost to Reason. Only once or twice did he let her win. It was only because he was distracted by looking at himself in the wall mirror. He really did look like he’d been dragged out of the furnace like a chimney demon. No wonder why the pixies mistook him for an evil spirit. She didn’t like his appearance herself, but she was used to him. For the sake of achievement, it was worth tolerating his ugliness. If it weren’t for Reason, she wouldn’t even know the rules of chess combat.

“They say it’s a game for the clever!” Estella remarked, rearranging the pieces. “I play it, so I am clever!”

“It is with my help. Don’t you forget! I am your cleverness. Without me you are as without a head,” Reason himself dragged the pieces with both paws and hurt Estella’s white chess pieces with his tail, so that she regularly had to correct them. Playing with him was really the most amusing thing about it.

“And they say I’ve been bewitched, so I’m stupid.”

“They’re comforting you.”

“What do you say?” She almost dropped her queen.

“Don’t ask me every word, like a dummy. Take more of my advice, and you’ll get smarter.”

“It’s that simple?”

“How do you think people learn the wisdom of life?”

“I don’t know. I think they’re born smart.”

Estella tensed. Her head felt like it was a mess. Her mind echoed in her head as if someone was pounding on an invisible door inside her mind with a fist. The healer said it happens to all victims of witchcraft. But Reason assured her otherwise.

“All men listen to wise counsel, and gain wisdom for themselves,” he said. “So with me you are on the right track.”

“But you cause a lot of trouble in the state. The palace has been in turmoil every day since I rescued you from captivity.”

“It’s not my fault. It’s the intrigues of those who envy you. They envy you for having me.”

“Can anyone see you? You said you were invisible?”

“Silly, they sense that you have something in you worthy of envy. People, even when they’re blind, can smell it and get angry. It’s human nature to be jealous.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“That’s because you’re lucky. There’s no one to envy you. Envy isn’t for those born princesses.”

“That’s not true! I have often envied Gisela.”

“She is a duenna!” Reason chuckled nastily. “You’d have been better off turning her over to a convent. She has no business in a palace. She has her nose everywhere.”

“She’s not a chaperone! She’s my tutor.”

“She’s a prude and a jealous woman, and a hunter for a rich husband. If you were a prince instead of a princess, she would have married you long ago, ignoring the age difference.”

“But she’s so elegant and graceful and everyone admires her manners. I don’t know how to behave like that.”

“So I’ll teach you!” Reason finished the game and jumped on Estella’s shoulder. The white chess pieces were lying heavily scratched on the board. “I can’t stand white chess, because white troops have long been my enemies.”

Reason spit ash on the board, and his black spit burned through it. The white ivory pieces cracked in half.

“Was it my winning that upset you?” Estella guessed. It must be nonsense that she won and not her mind.

“You just talked me out of it and I had to give you a head start,” he brushed her off. “And what problems in the state were you talking about when I helped you get through the war without any losses.”

“It is almost without loss of life!” She clarified, remembering the dragon-eaten knights.

“Feeding a dragon doesn’t count as loss,” Reason corrected. “We have to feed him while he guards us.”

“He’d rather eat other men’s food than our own.”

“You’re getting smarter, aren’t you? Next time, we’ll turn him on our enemies. I’ll help him change his orientation from our subjects to outsiders. Let him snack on outsiders. Are all our problems solved now?”

“It is not all! The courtiers have been gossiping about ghosts and evil spirits since you arrived.”

“That’s their problem, not ours.”

“Are you sure?”

“If they’re not right in the head, let them see a physician! You’re not their mother to take care of them.”

“I see! You’ve freed me from my problems.”

Estella was glad that Reason had made things so easy. Suddenly he was no longer a problem, but it was hard to carry on her shoulder.

“You’re not getting off! My shoulder’s stiff, and it’s hard for me.”

“It’ll be even harder without me!” Reason said profoundly. Maybe he was right. Maybe he needs to be close to her head, or else he’ll disappear. And without his advice, it really is hard.

“Come on, my polar star.”

“Where are we going now?”

“Just walk me around the castle. I want to hear who’s talking about what.”

“You mean listen to the news?”

“That’s right!”

He can hear everything from a distance. How does he do that? The talkers stand far away and whisper barely, but he hears everything clearly and even retells some of it.

In the beginning Estella liked the new entertainment, because Reason retold her all the funny gossip about swaggering ladies and their admirers, but gradually she tired of the monotony of the news.

“There’s Lady Frederica plotting against her husband’s sweetheart,” Reason reported. “And that Lady Cassinda ran to the physician in the morning to cure her pimples, but he did not help her. She’s now powdering her rash and whispering nasty things about the doctor to her friends Lady Eden and Lady Fancy. And the Duchess Gloriana is left abandoned by her suitor. These two gentlemen with whom she is whispering now are the bravi, the assassins for hire. She wants to send them to the traitor at night. And these ladies are the ones who are badmouthing everyone who seems more successful than they are. And it’s all high society! Even the demons would behave more decently if you wanted them to drive the humans out and make them your subjects. Is that what you want, by the way?”

Reason clawed nervously at her neck, almost ripping her necklace.

“Do you want demons or not?”

“Let me go!” Estella almost threw him off, and Reason scolded. She had to go with him into the alcove, where no one would see them.

“You’d better take me to the dragon!”

“But he’s dangerous! He’ll burn you!”

“Are demons not dangerous?”

Reason went kind of quiet.

“I don’t want demons, I want to see the dragon,” she insisted, tugging at Reason’s tail.

“It is all right, all right,” Reason struggled to free his tail from her fingernails. “When it gets dark, I’ll take you to the dragon. But not now! Not when it’s midnight and all the servants are asleep. Only that he may burn you, you take the responsibility on yourself.”

Estella nodded happily.

Girlfriend of the dragon

Up close, the dragon was an unpleasant swamp color. It looked emerald only in the sunlight. In the dungeon, lit by smoldering torches, its hide no longer glowed as brightly. Estella was not disappointed. A real dragon is a miracle, no matter what it looks like.

He slept on kegs of beer and completely ignored the princess. He must have been fed up.

“I’ll call him Emerald anyway,” Estella decided aloud, “even though he looks more like a swampy in color.”

“You should call it Ale,” said Reason. “He always responds to the word ale.”

There were plenty of empty ale barrels in the dungeon. Some had been crushed to splinters by the claws of dragons. From the smell, it was clear to this day what their contents were.

“And he likes to drink heady drinks,” Estella concluded bleakly.

“Well, call him Drunkard,” Reason jumped off Estella’s shoulder and began bouncing around the kegs, even trying to pull the corks out of some. He didn’t seem to mind a drink himself. “Fortunately, our dragon had not yet reached the fancy wine cellars in the royal cellar. And it wasn’t because he was lazy. The cellar is a narrow passage, and your daddy’s spell on the door. It’s impossible for a dragon to get in. Otherwise he’d have been nicknamed the Wine Connoisseur a long time ago.”

“It is no more name choices,” she said, staring mesmerized at the green spines on the dragon’s backbone. “I’ll call him Emerald.”

“He’s not really a doggy to give him names.”

“Of course he’s not a little dog. He is my own personal dragon. I have the right to give him a name and an honorary title like chief watchman of the kingdom.”

“You’d better give him the title of sleepyhead. He can sleep for decades.”

Reason poked the dragon on the tip of his ear, but the sleeping monster grumbled drowsily and exhaled a puff of steam from his nostrils.

“He grumbled, as if he were in a laundry, with steaming laundry,” Reason grumbled grudgingly.

“Well, it’s not right in the oven, is it?” Estella realized that the dragon’s mouth was as large as several ovens. Its tongue and saliva must have been fiery. And this monster had been asleep in her dungeons for years, and she didn’t even know anything about it.

“And if he wakes up now, will he burn us, like my knights?”

“Of course not,” Reason said uncertainly. “He doesn’t burn anyone alive when he’s full. Well, not unless it’s fun. Do you know any charms for controlling dragons?”

“What kind of stupid question is that? I’m not a sorceress.”

“So the King didn’t teach you anything,” Reason was visibly disappointed.

“Why did he have to teach me magic? He trained me to be a queen, not a sorceress.”

“You’re a laugh and a sin! You’re the daughter of a sorcerer king, and you can’t do magic,” Reason scowled resentfully. “If you could, you could control a dragon. And the good ale would not go to waste in his fiery belly.”

Reason realized he didn’t have the strength to pull the plugs out of the barrels or unscrew the faucets. He murmured something to the effect that the wine bottles in the nearest cellar would be much better. How he could get one for supper?

Estella didn’t care about Reason’s worries. She could see the dragon’s twisted horns, its scales sparkling in the torches, and its sharp claws, each the size of a spear.

“If you could conjure, you’d take him out to hunt and he’d drink blood, not ale, as a martial dragon should.”

“Is he a battle dragon?”

“King Abraham would feed a non-combat dragon in his cellars. Your father was a shrewd and hoarder,” Reason grudgingly kicked a barrel of ale with his clawed paw. “Had it not been for his provisions, the dragon would not have been a drunkard.”

“Emerald!” Estella called softly and stroked the dragon’s scaly horn.

“Careful! You’ll hurt yourself! The scales are sharper than razor blades and impenetrable to arrows and spears. There is a reason why magicians have long since learned to fashion armor from dragon scales that is resistant to fire. Such armor makes anyone a hero. Once you wear it, not even magical creatures can defeat you. By the way, you have one such armor in your arsenal. When you put it on, you can go to war with evil spirits.”

Reason hastily covered his mouth with his claws. He must have said something unnecessary.

“I’m not going to war with anyone else,” Estella reassured him.

“Of course you aren’t! Why would you want to go to war when you have a martial dragon? If you send it to war, there’ll be no more enemy troops left. As long as he stays awake, he can get to the battlefield in time, long before the other armies march on to our castle. Imagine! Enemies are already ramming the gates, and you can’t get the dragon to wake up.”

Reason laughed evilly. His laughter caused the dragon to wiggle his ears sleepily, as if trying to drive away a pesky gnat.

“Tell you a secret. If you sing a song, a lullaby or something touching, the dragon will wake up.”

“Lullabies usually make you fall asleep.”

“That’s just it! Everything works differently for dragons than it does for humans. They especially like the songs of young innocent maidens. If you want to tame it, you’ll have to become a singer.”

“Let’s try it!” Estella prepared to sing the only song she knew. The girls used to sing it at the spinning wheel.

“The yarn stretches,

My heart is aching

I’m waiting for a beautiful bridegroom,

And there’s nothing but evil around.

I’m waiting for a rider on a horse,

But only black elves are dancing in the hearth.”

The song was a somber one. It was usually sung by spinners at work. Apparently there was a shortage of young men in the villages of Aluar, and there were plenty of bad ones. Estella could see for herself that there were more of them when she discovered colonies of boggles beneath the battlefield.

“Don’t sing!” Reason nimbly jumped up and clamped down on Estella’s mouth. “Not when you want to wake up a dragon for war or hunting.”

“But I want to wake it now,” she protested, and Reason jerked his claws from her mouth. She must have gotten her teeth caught carelessly in them.

“You are wretch!” He hissed and blew on his fingers.

“Who are you talking about?”

“It is a cask of ale, my dear,” Reason brushed her off. “Ale is a bad drink, if a dragon drinks it. Let’s go to the cellar and get some wine. He’s going to wake up and give us a hard time. If we leave, he’ll go back to sleep.”

But the dragon was already awake. One of its yellow eyes flickered reluctantly open.

“Emerald!” Estella exclaimed happily.

“His name is Virgil,” said Reason, correcting her. “That’s what your father once called him. And what his real dragon name is, only his scaly ancestors know.”

“I am so glad you are awake! How handsome and scaly you are! I’ll sing for you again, if you like! I’ll even learn ballads and romances. You like singing, don’t you?”

Estella stroked the dragon, and it rumbled like a big cat.

“Hey, you,” Reason scrambled up the barrels so that the dragon could see him. “Remember me, big boy?”

The dragon hissed at him, but Estella encouraged him.

“Virgil, my dear,” Reason snapped at him, “you ought to loosen up a little, keep watch over the realm. Otherwise you’d be lying on your side.”

The dragon shooed at him, exhaling hot steam again. Reason ducked behind the pile of barrels.

“He’s comfortable here,” Estella said for the dragon.

“My tail stiffened as I sat in the chest,” Reason complained.

How is it that Estella liked the dragon, but not Reason? Maybe dragons prefer silly coquettes.

“Oh, my darling,” she petted him.

“You sound as if you were singing a lullaby to him. He’s a monster, not a baby.”

“He’s so nice and cute.”

“When he shoots sparks at you, you’ll change your mind.”

But the dragon was slow to fire at Estella. Apparently dragons don’t hurt princesses. Not without reason, even the prim Gisela loved tales of love between beautiful girls and dragons. Estella felt almost in love when the dragon encouraged her affectionate touch. She had finally found the friend she had never had in her life. And Reason had managed to pierce the bottom of the barrel with his claws and was now greedily drinking ale straight from the puddle on the floor.

“It was delicious!” He said. “If I’d been locked in a cellar with hops and groceries, I’d rather be in there than with you.”

Estella wasn’t even offended by him. After all, the dragon had made a choice in her favor.

“Don’t be fooled! He liked your jewelry, not you. Dragons love rings and necklaces and things like that.”

“So do you!” She remembered hiding place beneath the throne.

“But I would not pity a maiden merely because she stroked me with her hand in precious rings.”

“You mean you’ve hurt girls?”

“I have even killed…” Reason paused. “Why should you want to know about my past? Think of the dragon. You’re lucky you found fun. Mind your own business.”

Her Reason’s past is no one else’s business, is it? Estella frowned. That doesn’t make sense. Considering, of course, that her Reason had been taken from her by magic, and she’d been trapped in it, anything could have happened to her that she didn’t know about. If the situation is extraordinary, it must be handled differently. It is better not to ask Reason what he himself does not want to tell. He was already ranting about the dragon’s past mischief.