Tartuffe; Or, The Hypocrite

ACT III

SCENE IDAMIS, DORINEDAMIS  May lightning strike me dead this very instant,  May I be everywhere proclaimed a scoundrel,  If any reverence or power shall stop me,  And if I don't do straightway something desperate!DORINE  I beg you, moderate this towering passion;  Your father did but merely mention it.  Not all things that are talked of turn to facts;  The road is long, sometimes, from plans to acts.DAMIS  No, I must end this paltry fellow's plots,  And he shall hear from me a truth or two.DORINE  So ho! Go slow now. Just you leave the fellow —  Your father too – in your step-mother's hands.  She has some influence with this Tartuffe,  He makes a point of heeding all she says,  And I suspect that he is fond of her.  Would God 'twere true! – 'Twould be the height of humour  Now, she has sent for him, in your behalf,  To sound him on this marriage, to find out  What his ideas are, and to show him plainly  What troubles he may cause, if he persists  In giving countenance to this design.  His man says, he's at prayers, I mustn't see him,  But likewise says, he'll presently be down.  So off with you, and let me wait for him.DAMIS  I may be present at this interview.DORINE  No, no! They must be left alone.DAMIS  I won't  So much as speak to him.DORINE  Go on! We know you  And your high tantrums. Just the way to spoil things!  Be off.DAMIS  No, I must see – I'll keep my temper.DORINE  Out on you, what a plague! He's coming. Hide!(Damis goes and hides in the closet at the back of the stage.)SCENE IITARTUFFE, DORINE  TARTUFFE (speaking to his valet, off the stage, as soon as he sees  Dorine is there)  Lawrence, put up my hair-cloth shirt and scourge,  And pray that Heaven may shed its light upon you.  If any come to see me, say I'm gone  To share my alms among the prisoners.  DORINE (aside)  What affectation and what showing off!TARTUFFE  What do you want with me?DORINE  To tell you …  TARTUFFE (taking a handkerchief from his pocket)  Ah!  Before you speak, pray take this handkerchief.DORINE  What?TARTUFFE  Cover up that bosom, which I can't  Endure to look on. Things like that offend  Our souls, and fill our minds with sinful thoughts.DORINE  Are you so tender to temptation, then,  And has the flesh such power upon your senses?  I don't know how you get in such a heat;  For my part, I am not so prone to lust,  And I could see you stripped from head to foot,  And all your hide not tempt me in the least.TARTUFFE  Show in your speech some little modesty,  Or I must instantly take leave of you.DORINE  No, no, I'll leave you to yourself; I've only  One thing to say: Madam will soon be down,  And begs the favour of a word with you.TARTUFFE  Ah! Willingly.  DORINE (aside)  How gentle all at once!  My faith, I still believe I've hit upon it.TARTUFFE  Will she come soon?DORINE  I think I hear her now.  Yes, here she is herself; I'll leave you with her.SCENE IIIELMIRE, TARTUFFETARTUFFE  May Heaven's overflowing kindness ever  Give you good health of body and of soul,  And bless your days according to the wishes  And prayers of its most humble votary!ELMIRE  I'm very grateful for your pious wishes.  But let's sit down, so we may talk at ease.  TARTUFFE (after sitting down)  And how are you recovered from your illness?  ELMIRE (sitting down also)  Quite well; the fever soon let go its hold.TARTUFFE  My prayers, I fear, have not sufficient merit  To have drawn down this favour from on high;  But each entreaty that I made to Heaven  Had for its object your recovery.ELMIRE  You're too solicitous on my behalf.TARTUFFE  We could not cherish your dear health too much;  I would have given mine, to help restore it.ELMIRE  That's pushing Christian charity too far;  I owe you many thanks for so much kindness.TARTUFFE  I do far less for you than you deserve.ELMIRE  There is a matter that I wished to speak of  In private; I am glad there's no one here  To listen.TARTUFFE  Madam, I am overjoyed.  'Tis sweet to find myself alone with you.  This is an opportunity I've asked  Of Heaven, many a time; till now, in vain.ELMIRE  All that I wish, is just a word from you,  Quite frank and open, hiding nothing from me.(DAMIS, without their seeing him, opens the closet door halfway.)TARTUFFE  I too could wish, as Heaven's especial favour,  To lay my soul quite open to your eyes,  And swear to you, the trouble that I made  About those visits which your charms attract,  Does not result from any hatred toward you,  But rather from a passionate devotion,  And purest motives …ELMIRE  That is how I take it,  I think 'tis my salvation that concerns you.  TARTUFFE (pressing her finger tips)  Madam, 'tis so; and such is my devotion …ELMIRE  Ouch! but you squeeze too hard.TARTUFFE  Excess of zeal.  In no way could I ever mean to hurt you,  And I'd as soon …(He puts his hand on her knee.)ELMIRE  What's your hand doing there?TARTUFFE  Feeling your gown; the stuff is very soft.ELMIRE  Let be, I beg you; I am very ticklish.(She moves her chair away, and Tartuffe brings his nearer.)  TARTUFFE (handling the lace yoke of Elmire's dress)  Dear me how wonderful in workmanship  This lace is! They do marvels, nowadays;  Things of all kinds were never better made.ELMIRE  Yes, very true. But let us come to business.  They say my husband means to break his word.  And marry Mariane to you. Is't so?TARTUFFE  He did hint some such thing; but truly, madam,  That's not the happiness I'm yearning after;  I see elsewhere the sweet compelling charms  Of such a joy as fills my every wish.ELMIRE  You mean you cannot love terrestrial things.TARTUFFE  The heart within my bosom is not stone.ELMIRE  I well believe your sighs all tend to Heaven,  And nothing here below can stay your thoughts.TARTUFFE  Love for the beauty of eternal things  Cannot destroy our love for earthly beauty;  Our mortal senses well may be entranced  By perfect works that Heaven has fashioned here.  Its charms reflected shine in such as you,  And in yourself, its rarest miracles;  It has displayed such marvels in your face,  That eyes are dazed, and hearts are rapt away;  I could not look on you, the perfect creature,  Without admiring Nature's great Creator,  And feeling all my heart inflamed with love  For you, His fairest image of Himself.  At first I trembled lest this secret love  Might be the Evil Spirit's artful snare;  I even schooled my heart to flee your beauty,  Thinking it was a bar to my salvation.  But soon, enlightened, O all lovely one,  I saw how this my passion may be blameless,  How I may make it fit with modesty,  And thus completely yield my heart to it.  'Tis I must own, a great presumption in me  To dare make you the offer of my heart;  My love hopes all things from your perfect goodness,  And nothing from my own poor weak endeavour.  You are my hope, my stay, my peace of heart;  On you depends my torment or my bliss;  And by your doom of judgment, I shall be  Blest, if you will; or damned, by your decree.ELMIRE  Your declaration's turned most gallantly;  But truly, it is just a bit surprising.  You should have better armed your heart, methinks,  And taken thought somewhat on such a matter.  A pious man like you, known everywhere …TARTUFFE  Though pious, I am none the less a man;  And when a man beholds your heavenly charms,  The heart surrenders, and can think no more.  I know such words seem strange, coming from me;  But, madam, I'm no angel, after all;  If you condemn my frankly made avowal  You only have your charming self to blame.  Soon as I saw your more than human beauty,  You were thenceforth the sovereign of my soul;  Sweetness ineffable was in your eyes,  That took by storm my still resisting heart,  And conquered everything, fasts, prayers, and tears,  And turned my worship wholly to yourself.  My looks, my sighs, have spoke a thousand times;  Now, to express it all, my voice must speak.  If but you will look down with gracious favour  Upon the sorrows of your worthless slave,  If in your goodness you will give me comfort  And condescend unto my nothingness,  I'll ever pay you, O sweet miracle,  An unexampled worship and devotion.  Then too, with me your honour runs no risk;  With me you need not fear a public scandal.  These court gallants, that women are so fond of,  Are boastful of their acts, and vain in speech;  They always brag in public of their progress;  Soon as a favour's granted, they'll divulge it;  Their tattling tongues, if you but trust to them,  Will foul the altar where their hearts have worshipped.  But men like me are so discreet in love,  That you may trust their lasting secrecy.  The care we take to guard our own good name  May fully guarantee the one we love;  So you may find, with hearts like ours sincere,  Love without scandal, pleasure without fear.ELMIRE  I've heard you through – your speech is clear, at least.  But don't you fear that I may take a fancy  To tell my husband of your gallant passion,  And that a prompt report of this affair  May somewhat change the friendship which he bears you?TARTUFFE  I know that you're too good and generous,  That you will pardon my temerity,  Excuse, upon the score of human frailty,  The violence of passion that offends you,  And not forget, when you consult your mirror,  That I'm not blind, and man is made of flesh.ELMIRE  Some women might do otherwise, perhaps,  But I am willing to employ discretion,  And not repeat the matter to my husband;  But in return, I'll ask one thing of you:  That you urge forward, frankly and sincerely,  The marriage of Valere to Mariane;  That you give up the unjust influence  By which you hope to win another's rights;  And …SCENE IVELMIRE, DAMIS, TARTUFFE  DAMIS (coming out of the closet-room where he had been hiding)  No, I say! This thing must be made public.  I was just there, and overheard it all;  And Heaven's goodness must have brought me there  On purpose to confound this scoundrel's pride  And grant me means to take a signal vengeance  On his hypocrisy and arrogance,  And undeceive my father, showing up  The rascal caught at making love to you.ELMIRE  No, no; it is enough if he reforms,  Endeavouring to deserve the favour shown him.  And since I've promised, do not you belie me.  'Tis not my way to make a public scandal;  An honest wife will scorn to heed such follies,  And never fret her husband's ears with them.DAMIS  You've reasons of your own for acting thus;  And I have mine for doing otherwise.  To spare him now would be a mockery;  His bigot's pride has triumphed all too long  Over my righteous anger, and has caused  Far too much trouble in our family.  The rascal all too long has ruled my father,  And crossed my sister's love, and mine as well.  The traitor now must be unmasked before him:  And Providence has given me means to do it.  To Heaven I owe the opportunity,  And if I did not use it now I have it,  I should deserve to lose it once for all.ELMIRE  Damis …DAMIS  No, by your leave; I'll not be counselled.  I'm overjoyed. You needn't try to tell me  I must give up the pleasure of revenge.  I'll make an end of this affair at once;  And, to content me, here's my father now.SCENE VORGON, ELMIRE, DAMIS, TARTUFFEDAMIS  Father, we've news to welcome your arrival,  That's altogether novel, and surprising.  You are well paid for your caressing care,  And this fine gentleman rewards your love  Most handsomely, with zeal that seeks no less  Than your dishonour, as has now been proven.  I've just surprised him making to your wife  The shameful offer of a guilty love.  She, somewhat over gentle and discreet,  Insisted that the thing should be concealed;  But I will not condone such shamelessness,  Nor so far wrong you as to keep it secret.ELMIRE  Yes, I believe a wife should never trouble  Her husband's peace of mind with such vain gossip;  A woman's honour does not hang on telling;  It is enough if she defend herself;  Or so I think; Damis, you'd not have spoken,  If you would but have heeded my advice.SCENE VIORGON, DAMIS, TARTUFFEORGON  Just Heaven! Can what I hear be credited?TARTUFFE  Yes, brother, I am wicked, I am guilty,  A miserable sinner, steeped in evil,  The greatest criminal that ever lived.  Each moment of my life is stained with soilures;  And all is but a mass of crime and filth;  Heaven, for my punishment, I see it plainly,  Would mortify me now. Whatever wrong  They find to charge me with, I'll not deny it  But guard against the pride of self-defence.  Believe their stories, arm your wrath against me,  And drive me like a villain from your house;  I cannot have so great a share of shame  But what I have deserved a greater still.  ORGON (to his son)  You miscreant, can you dare, with such a falsehood,  To try to stain the whiteness of his virtue?DAMIS  What! The feigned meekness of this hypocrite  Makes you discredit …ORGON  Silence, cursed plague!TARTUFFE  Ah! Let him speak; you chide him wrongfully;  You'd do far better to believe his tales.  Why favour me so much in such a matter?  How can you know of what I'm capable?  And should you trust my outward semblance, brother,  Or judge therefrom that I'm the better man?  No, no; you let appearances deceive you;  I'm anything but what I'm thought to be,  Alas! and though all men believe me godly,  The simple truth is, I'm a worthless creature.  (To Damis)  Yes, my dear son, say on, and call me traitor,  Abandoned scoundrel, thief, and murderer;  Heap on me names yet more detestable,  And I shall not gainsay you; I've deserved them;  I'll bear this ignominy on my knees,  To expiate in shame the crimes I've done.  ORGON (to Tartuffe)  Ah, brother, 'tis too much!  (To his son)  You'll not relent,  You blackguard?DAMIS  What! His talk can so deceive you …ORGON  Silence, you scoundrel!  (To Tartuffe)  Brother, rise, I beg you.  (To his son)  Infamous villain!DAMIS  Can he …ORGON  Silence!DAMIS  What …ORGON  Another word, I'll break your every bone.TARTUFFE  Brother, in God's name, don't be angry with him!  I'd rather bear myself the bitterest torture  Than have him get a scratch on my account.  ORGON (to his son)  Ungrateful monster!TARTUFFE  Stop. Upon my knees  I beg you pardon him …  ORGON (throwing himself on his knees too, and embracing Tartuffe)  Alas! How can you?  (To his son)  Villain! Behold his goodness!DAMIS  So …ORGON  Be still.DAMIS  What! I …ORGON  Be still, I say. I know your motives  For this attack. You hate him, all of you;  Wife, children, servants, all let loose upon him,  You have recourse to every shameful trick  To drive this godly man out of my house;  The more you strive to rid yourselves of him,  The more I'll strive to make him stay with me;  I'll have him straightway married to my daughter,  Just to confound the pride of all of you.DAMIS  What! Will you force her to accept his hand?ORGON  Yes, and this very evening, to enrage you,  Young rascal! Ah! I'll brave you all, and show you  That I'm the master, and must be obeyed.  Now, down upon your knees this instant, rogue,  And take back what you said, and ask his pardon.DAMIS  Who? I? Ask pardon of that cheating scoundrel … ?ORGON  Do you resist, you beggar, and insult him?  A cudgel, here! a cudgel!  (To Tartuffe)  Don't restrain me.  (To his son)  Off with you! Leave my house this instant, sirrah,  And never dare set foot in it again.DAMIS  Yes, I will leave your house, but …ORGON  Leave it quickly.  You reprobate, I disinherit you,  And give you, too, my curse into the bargain.SCENE VIIORGON, TARTUFFEORGON  What! So insult a saintly man of God!TARTUFFE  Heaven, forgive him all the pain he gives me! 4  (To Orgon)  Could you but know with what distress I see  Them try to vilify me to my brother!ORGON  Ah!TARTUFFE  The mere thought of such ingratitude  Makes my soul suffer torture, bitterly …  My horror at it … Ah! my heart's so full  I cannot speak … I think I'll die of it.  ORGON (in tears, running to the door through which he drove away his  son)  Scoundrel! I wish I'd never let you go,  But slain you on the spot with my own hand.  (To Tartuffe)  Brother, compose yourself, and don't be angry.TARTUFFE  Nay, brother, let us end these painful quarrels.  I see what troublous times I bring upon you,  And think 'tis needful that I leave this house.ORGON  What! You can't mean it?TARTUFFE  Yes, they hate me here,  And try, I find, to make you doubt my faith.ORGON  What of it? Do you find I listen to them?TARTUFFE  No doubt they won't stop there. These same reports  You now reject, may some day win a hearing.ORGON  No, brother, never.TARTUFFE  Ah! my friend, a woman  May easily mislead her husband's mind.ORGON  No, no.TARTUFFE  So let me quickly go away  And thus remove all cause for such attacks.ORGON  No, you shall stay; my life depends upon it.TARTUFFE  Then I must mortify myself. And yet,  If you should wish …ORGON  No, never!TARTUFFE  Very well, then;  No more of that. But I shall rule my conduct  To fit the case. Honour is delicate,  And friendship binds me to forestall suspicion,  Prevent all scandal, and avoid your wife.ORGON  No, you shall haunt her, just to spite them all.  'Tis my delight to set them in a rage;  You shall be seen together at all hours  And what is more, the better to defy them,  I'll have no other heir but you; and straightway  I'll go and make a deed of gift to you,  Drawn in due form, of all my property.  A good true friend, my son-in-law to be,  Is more to me than son, and wife, and kindred.  You will accept my offer, will you not?TARTUFFE  Heaven's will be done in everything!ORGON  Poor man!  We'll go make haste to draw the deed aright,  And then let envy burst itself with spite!

ACT IV

SCENE ICLEANTE, TARTUFFECLEANTE  Yes, it's become the talk of all the town,  And make a stir that's scarcely to your credit;  And I have met you, sir, most opportunely,  To tell you in a word my frank opinion.  Not to sift out this scandal to the bottom,  Suppose the worst for us – suppose Damis  Acted the traitor, and accused you falsely;  Should not a Christian pardon this offence,  And stifle in his heart all wish for vengeance?  Should you permit that, for your petty quarrel,  A son be driven from his father's house?  I tell you yet again, and tell you frankly,  Everyone, high or low, is scandalised;  If you'll take my advice, you'll make it up,  And not push matters to extremities.  Make sacrifice to God of your resentment;  Restore the son to favour with his father.TARTUFFE  Alas! So far as I'm concerned, how gladly  Would I do so! I bear him no ill will;  I pardon all, lay nothing to his charge,  And wish with all my heart that I might serve him;  But Heaven's interests cannot allow it;  If he returns, then I must leave the house.  After his conduct, quite unparalleled,  All intercourse between us would bring scandal;  God knows what everyone's first thought would be!  They would attribute it to merest scheming  On my part – say that conscious of my guilt  I feigned a Christian love for my accuser,  But feared him in my heart, and hoped to win him  And underhandedly secure his silence.CLEANTE  You try to put us off with specious phrases;  But all your arguments are too far-fetched.  Why take upon yourself the cause of Heaven?  Does Heaven need our help to punish sinners?  Leave to itself the care of its own vengeance,  And keep in mind the pardon it commands us;  Besides, think somewhat less of men's opinions,  When you are following the will of Heaven.  Shall petty fear of what the world may think  Prevent the doing of a noble deed?  No! – let us always do as Heaven commands,  And not perplex our brains with further questions.TARTUFFE  Already I have told you I forgive him;  And that is doing, sir, as Heaven commands.  But after this day's scandal and affront  Heaven does not order me to live with him.CLEANTE  And does it order you to lend your ear  To what mere whim suggested to his father,  And to accept gift of his estates,  On which, in justice, you can make no claim?TARTUFFE  No one who knows me, sir, can have the thought  That I am acting from a selfish motive.  The goods of this world have no charms for me;  I am not dazzled by their treacherous glamour;  And if I bring myself to take the gift  Which he insists on giving me, I do so,  To tell the truth, only because I fear  This whole estate may fall into bad hands,  And those to whom it comes may use it ill  And not employ it, as is my design,  For Heaven's glory and my neighbours' good.CLEANTE  Eh, sir, give up these conscientious scruples  That well may cause a rightful heir's complaints.  Don't take so much upon yourself, but let him  Possess what's his, at his own risk and peril;  Consider, it were better he misused it,  Than you should be accused of robbing him.  I am astounded that unblushingly  You could allow such offers to be made!  Tell me – has true religion any maxim  That teaches us to rob the lawful heir?  If Heaven has made it quite impossible  Damis and you should live together here,  Were it not better you should quietly  And honourably withdraw, than let the son  Be driven out for your sake, dead against  All reason? 'Twould be giving, sir, believe me,  Such an example of your probity …TARTUFFE  Sir, it is half-past three; certain devotions  Recall me to my closet; you'll forgive me  For leaving you so soon.  CLEANTE (alone)  Ah!SCENE IIELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE  DORINE (to Cleante)  Sir, we beg you  To help us all you can in her behalf;  She's suffering almost more than heart can bear;  This match her father means to make to-night  Drives her each moment to despair. He's coming.  Let us unite our efforts now, we beg you,  And try by strength or skill to change his purpose.SCENE IIIORGON, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINEORGON  So ho! I'm glad to find you all together.  (To Mariane)  Here is the contract that shall make you happy,  My dear. You know already what it means.  MARIANE (on her knees before Orgon)  Father, I beg you, in the name of Heaven  That knows my grief, and by whate'er can move you,  Relax a little your paternal rights,  And free my love from this obedience!  Oh, do not make me, by your harsh command,  Complain to Heaven you ever were my father;  Do not make wretched this poor life you gave me.  If, crossing that fond hope which I had formed,  You'll not permit me to belong to one  Whom I have dared to love, at least, I beg you  Upon my knees, oh, save me from the torment  Of being possessed by one whom I abhor!  And do not drive me to some desperate act  By exercising all your rights upon me.  ORGON (a little touched)  Come, come, my heart, be firm! no human weakness!MARIANE  I am not jealous of your love for him;  Display it freely; give him your estate,  And if that's not enough, add all of mine;  I willingly agree, and give it up,  If only you'll not give him me, your daughter;  Oh, rather let a convent's rigid rule  Wear out the wretched days that Heaven allots me.ORGON  These girls are ninnies! – always turning nuns  When fathers thwart their silly love-affairs.  Get on your feet! The more you hate to have him,  The more 'twill help you earn your soul's salvation.  So, mortify your senses by this marriage,  And don't vex me about it any more.DORINE  But what … ?ORGON  You hold your tongue, before your betters.  Don't dare to say a single word, I tell you.CLEANTE  If you will let me answer, and advise …ORGON  Brother, I value your advice most highly;  'Tis well thought out; no better can be had;  But you'll allow me – not to follow it.  ELMIRE (to her husband)  I can't find words to cope with such a case;  Your blindness makes me quite astounded at you.  You are bewitched with him, to disbelieve  The things we tell you happened here to-day.ORGON  I am your humble servant, and can see  Things, when they're plain as noses on folks' faces,  I know you're partial to my rascal son,  And didn't dare to disavow the trick  He tried to play on this poor man; besides,  You were too calm, to be believed; if that  Had happened, you'd have been far more disturbed.ELMIRE  And must our honour always rush to arms  At the mere mention of illicit love?  Or can we answer no attack upon it  Except with blazing eyes and lips of scorn?  For my part, I just laugh away such nonsense;  I've no desire to make a loud to-do.  Our virtue should, I think, be gentle-natured;  Nor can I quite approve those savage prudes  Whose honour arms itself with teeth and claws  To tear men's eyes out at the slightest word.  Heaven preserve me from that kind of honour!  I like my virtue not to be a vixen,  And I believe a quiet cold rebuff  No less effective to repulse a lover.ORGON  I know … and you can't throw me off the scent.ELMIRE  Once more, I am astounded at your weakness;  I wonder what your unbelief would answer,  If I should let you see we've told the truth?ORGON  See it?ELMIRE  Yes.ORGON  Nonsense.ELMIRE  Come! If I should find  A way to make you see it clear as day?ORGON  All rubbish.ELMIRE  What a man! But answer me.  I'm not proposing now that you believe us;  But let's suppose that here, from proper hiding,  You should be made to see and hear all plainly;  What would you say then, to your man of virtue?ORGON  Why, then, I'd say … say nothing. It can't be.ELMIRE  Your error has endured too long already,  And quite too long you've branded me a liar.  I must at once, for my own satisfaction,  Make you a witness of the things we've told you.ORGON  Amen! I take you at your word. We'll see  What tricks you have, and how you'll keep your promise.  ELMIRE (to Dorine)  Send him to me.  DORINE (to Elmire)  The man's a crafty codger,  Perhaps you'll find it difficult to catch him.  ELMIRE (to Dorine)  Oh no! A lover's never hard to cheat,  And self-conceit leads straight to self-deceit.  Bid him come down to me.  (To Cleante and Mariane)  And you, withdraw.SCENE IVELMIRE, ORGONELMIRE  Bring up this table, and get under it.ORGON  What?ELMIRE  One essential is to hide you well.ORGON  Why under there?ELMIRE  Oh, dear! Do as I say;  I know what I'm about, as you shall see.  Get under, now, I tell you; and once there  Be careful no one either sees or hears you.ORGON  I'm going a long way to humour you,  I must say; but I'll see you through your scheme.ELMIRE  And then you'll have, I think, no more to say.  (To her husband, who is now under the table.)  But mind, I'm going to meddle with strange matters;  Prepare yourself to be in no wise shocked.  Whatever I may say must pass, because  'Tis only to convince you, as I promised.  By wheedling speeches, since I'm forced to do it,  I'll make this hypocrite put off his mask,  Flatter the longings of his shameless passion,  And give free play to all his impudence.  But, since 'tis for your sake, to prove to you  His guilt, that I shall feign to share his love,  I can leave off as soon as you're convinced,  And things shall go no farther than you choose.  So, when you think they've gone quite far enough,  It is for you to stop his mad pursuit,  To spare your wife, and not expose me farther  Than you shall need, yourself, to undeceive you.  It is your own affair, and you must end it  When … Here he comes. Keep still, don't show yourself.SCENE VTARTUFFE, ELMIRE; ORGON (under the table)TARTUFFE  They told me that you wished to see me here.ELMIRE  Yes. I have secrets for your ear alone.  But shut the door first, and look everywhere  For fear of spies.  (Tartuffe goes and closes the door, and comes back.)  We surely can't afford  Another scene like that we had just now;  Was ever anyone so caught before!  Damis did frighten me most terribly  On your account; you saw I did my best  To baffle his design, and calm his anger.  But I was so confused, I never thought  To contradict his story; still, thank Heaven,  Things turned out all the better, as it happened,  And now we're on an even safer footing.  The high esteem you're held in, laid the storm;  My husband can have no suspicion of you,  And even insists, to spite the scandal-mongers,  That we shall be together constantly;  So that is how, without the risk of blame,  I can be here locked up with you alone,  And can reveal to you my heart, perhaps  Only too ready to allow your passion.TARTUFFE  Your words are somewhat hard to understand,  Madam; just now you used a different style.ELMIRE  If that refusal has offended you,  How little do you know a woman's heart!  How ill you guess what it would have you know,  When it presents so feeble a defence!  Always, at first, our modesty resists  The tender feelings you inspire us with.  Whatever cause we find to justify  The love that masters us, we still must feel  Some little shame in owning it; and strive  To make as though we would not, when we would.  But from the very way we go about it  We let a lover know our heart surrenders,  The while our lips, for honour's sake, oppose  Our heart's desire, and in refusing promise.  I'm telling you my secret all too freely  And with too little heed to modesty.  But – now that I've made bold to speak – pray tell me.  Should I have tried to keep Damis from speaking,  Should I have heard the offer of your heart  So quietly, and suffered all your pleading,  And taken it just as I did – remember —  If such a declaration had not pleased me,  And, when I tried my utmost to persuade you  Not to accept the marriage that was talked of,  What should my earnestness have hinted to you  If not the interest that you've inspired,  And my chagrin, should such a match compel me  To share a heart I want all to myself?TARTUFFE  'Tis, past a doubt, the height of happiness,  To hear such words from lips we dote upon;  Their honeyed sweetness pours through all my senses  Long draughts of suavity ineffable.  My heart employs its utmost zeal to please you,  And counts your love its one beatitude;  And yet that heart must beg that you allow it  To doubt a little its felicity.  I well might think these words an honest trick  To make me break off this approaching marriage;  And if I may express myself quite plainly,  I cannot trust these too enchanting words  Until the granting of some little favour  I sigh for, shall assure me of their truth  And build within my soul, on firm foundations,  A lasting faith in your sweet charity.  ELMIRE (coughing to draw her husband's attention)  What! Must you go so fast? – and all at once  Exhaust the whole love of a woman's heart?  She does herself the violence to make  This dear confession of her love, and you  Are not yet satisfied, and will not be  Without the granting of her utmost favours?TARTUFFE  The less a blessing is deserved, the less  We dare to hope for it; and words alone  Can ill assuage our love's desires. A fate  Too full of happiness, seems doubtful still;  We must enjoy it ere we can believe it.  And I, who know how little I deserve  Your goodness, doubt the fortunes of my daring;  So I shall trust to nothing, madam, till  You have convinced my love by something real.ELMIRE  Ah! How your love enacts the tyrant's role,  And throws my mind into a strange confusion!  With what fierce sway it rules a conquered heart,  And violently will have its wishes granted!  What! Is there no escape from your pursuit?  No respite even? – not a breathing space?  Nay, is it decent to be so exacting,  And so abuse by urgency the weakness  You may discover in a woman's heart?TARTUFFE  But if my worship wins your gracious favour,  Then why refuse me some sure proof thereof?ELMIRE  But how can I consent to what you wish,  Without offending Heaven you talk so much of?TARTUFFE  If Heaven is all that stands now in my way,  I'll easily remove that little hindrance;  Your heart need not hold back for such a trifle.ELMIRE  But they affright us so with Heaven's commands!TARTUFFE  I can dispel these foolish fears, dear madam;  I know the art of pacifying scruples  Heaven forbids, 'tis true, some satisfactions;  But we find means to make things right with Heaven.('Tis a scoundrel speaking.) 5  There is a science, madam, that instructs us  How to enlarge the limits of our conscience  According to our various occasions,  And rectify the evil of the deed  According to our purity of motive.  I'll duly teach you all these secrets, madam;  You only need to let yourself be guided.  Content my wishes, have no fear at all;  I answer for't, and take the sin upon me.  (Elmire coughs still louder.)  Your cough is very bad.ELMIRE  Yes, I'm in torture.TARTUFFE  Would you accept this bit of licorice?ELMIRE  The case is obstinate, I find; and all  The licorice in the world will do no good.TARTUFFE  'Tis very trying.ELMIRE  More than words can say.TARTUFFE  In any case, your scruple's easily  Removed. With me you're sure of secrecy,  And there's no harm unless a thing is known.  The public scandal is what brings offence,  And secret sinning is not sin at all.  ELMIRE (after coughing again)  So then, I see I must resolve to yield;  I must consent to grant you everything,  And cannot hope to give full satisfaction  Or win full confidence, at lesser cost.  No doubt 'tis very hard to come to this;  'Tis quite against my will I go so far;  But since I must be forced to it, since nothing  That can be said suffices for belief,  Since more convincing proof is still demanded,  I must make up my mind to humour people.  If my consent give reason for offence,  So much the worse for him who forced me to it;  The fault can surely not be counted mine.TARTUFFE  It need not, madam; and the thing itself …ELMIRE  Open the door, I pray you, and just see  Whether my husband's not there, in the hall.TARTUFFE  Why take such care for him? Between ourselves,  He is a man to lead round by the nose.  He's capable of glorying in our meetings;  I've fooled him so, he'd see all, and deny it.ELMIRE  No matter; go, I beg you, look about,  And carefully examine every corner.SCENE VIORGON, ELMIRE  ORGON (crawling out from under the table)  That is, I own, a man … abominable!  I can't get over it; the whole thing floors me.ELMIRE  What? You come out so soon? You cannot mean it!  Get back under the table; 'tis not time yet;  Wait till the end, to see, and make quite certain,  And don't believe a thing on mere conjecture.ORGON  Nothing more wicked e'er came out of Hell.ELMIRE  Dear me! Don't go and credit things too lightly.  No, let yourself be thoroughly convinced;  Don't yield too soon, for fear you'll be mistaken.(As Tartuffe enters, she makes her husband stand behind her.)SCENE VIITARTUFFE, ELMIRE, ORGON  TARTUFFE (not seeing Orgon)  All things conspire toward my satisfaction,  Madam, I've searched the whole apartment through.  There's no one here; and now my ravished soul …  ORGON (stopping him)  Softly! You are too eager in your amours;  You needn't be so passionate. Ah ha!  My holy man! You want to put it on me!  How is your soul abandoned to temptation!  Marry my daughter, eh? – and want my wife, too?  I doubted long enough if this was earnest,  Expecting all the time the tone would change;  But now the proof's been carried far enough;  I'm satisfied, and ask no more, for my part.  ELMIRE (to Tartuffe)  'Twas quite against my character to play  This part; but I was forced to treat you so.TARTUFFE  What? You believe … ?ORGON  Come, now, no protestations.  Get out from here, and make no fuss about it.TARTUFFE  But my intent …ORGON  That talk is out of season.  You leave my house this instant.TARTUFFE  You're the one  To leave it, you who play the master here!  This house belongs to me, I'll have you know,  And show you plainly it's no use to turn  To these low tricks, to pick a quarrel with me,  And that you can't insult me at your pleasure,  For I have wherewith to confound your lies,  Avenge offended Heaven, and compel  Those to repent who talk to me of leaving.SCENE VIIIELMIRE, ORGONELMIRE  What sort of speech is this? What can it mean?ORGON  My faith, I'm dazed. This is no laughing matter.ELMIRE  What?ORGON  From his words I see my great mistake;  The deed of gift is one thing troubles me.ELMIRE  The deed of gift …ORGON  Yes, that is past recall.  But I've another thing to make me anxious.ELMIRE  What's that?ORGON  You shall know all. Let's see at once  Whether a certain box is still upstairs.