The Life of P.T. Barnum

“But I am not,” replied Hack, “and I won’t stand it. You shall not travel any longer in charge of this elephant as long as I own any interest in him.”

“I would like to see you prevent it. Our written contract stipulates that I am to have charge of the elephant, and next fall we are to settle up,” replied the partner.

“But it also stipulates that you are to remit me one half of the profits as fast as they accrue,” replied Hack.

“Yes, and no faster. I tell you there are no profits,” responded the partner.

Hack grew more indignant. “Will you sell your half of the elephant?” he asked.

“No,” was the reply.

“Will you buy my half?”

“No.”

“Then you go no farther with the animal,” replied Hack.

“I know the law, and defy you to try it,” responded the partner.

“I’ll try something that will be effectual, as I am a living man,” said Hack, who now felt the lion fairly aroused within him.

“Try what you please,” was the reply.

The next morning at daylight the partner went to the barn to take the elephant, which was to be led to the next town. He found Hack Bailey standing at the elephant’s side with a loaded rifle.

“Don’t you touch that animal quite yet,” said Hack, raising his rifle.

“Mr. Bailey, do you mean to kill me?” cried the affrighted partner.

“No, sir,” replied Mr. Bailey, “I mean to do nothing but what is lawful. I came here to get my rights. You refuse them to me. You ought to know me better than to suppose you can impose upon me any longer. You have refused to buy or sell – now you may do what you please with your half of that elephant, but I am fully determined to shoot my half!”

The man knew that there was no back-out in the character of Hack Bailey, and he saw also that he was never more in earnest in his life. Hack raised the rifle to his shoulder and pointed it towards the elephant.

“Stop, stop, and I’ll settle,” exclaimed the partner with a look of horror.

“Oh, no, you won’t,” said Hack, proceeding to take aim.

“I will, upon honor,” was the earnest reply.

Hack lowered his rifle, and within half an hour afterwards he had sold his half of the elephant to his partner for a good round price, and the animal thus escaped having the life taken out of at least one half of him.

My grandfather, being a Justice of the Peace, frequently had to sit in judgment upon civil and criminal suits. On one occasion a man was arrested on a grand jury complaint for assault and battery. The case was to be tried before my grandfather. A young medical student named Newton was boarding at my mother’s, and he volunteered to defend the prisoner. Of course pettifogging was new business to Newton, but he thought it would be a good chance to show off his talents to our villagers. Mr. Couch, the grand-jury man, came to me and said that inasmuch as a pettifogger was engaged by the prisoner, he thought the State ought to have some person to defend its interest, and he would give me a dollar if I would go in and argue the case of the State before the Justice. Nothing loth, I accepted the proposition and received my fee in advance.

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