Absurd Ditties

XI

THAT OF LORD WILLIAM OF PURLEIGH

Lord William of Purleigh retired for the nightWith a mind full of worry and trouble,Which was caused by an income uncommonly slight,And expenses uncommonly double.Now the same sort of thing often happens, to me —And perhaps to yourself – for most singularleeOne's accounts – if one keeps 'em – will never come right,If, of "moneys received," one spends double.His lordship had gone rather early to bed,And for several hours had been sleeping,When he suddenly woke – and the hair on his headSlowly rose – he could hear someone creepingAbout in his room, in the dead of the night,With a lantern, which showed but a glimmer of light,And his impulse, at first, was to cover his headWhen he heard that there burglar a-creeping.But presently thinking "Poor fellow, there's naughtIn the house worth a burglar a-taking,And, being a kind-hearted lord, p'r'aps I ought,To explain the mistake he's a-making."Lord William, then still in his woolly night-cap(For appearances noblemen don't care a rap),His second-best dressing-gown hastily sought,And got up without any noise making."I'm exceedingly sorry," his lordship began,"But your visit, I fear, will be fruitless.I possess neither money, nor jewels, my man,So your burglaring here will be bootless.The burglar was startled, but kept a cool head,And bowed, as his lordship, continuing, said:"Excuse me a moment. I'll find if I canMy warm slippers, for I too am bootless."This pleasantry put them both quite at their ease;They discoursed of De Wet, and of Tupper.Then the household his lordship aroused, if you please,And invited the burglar to supper.The burglar told tales of his hardly-won wealth,And each drank to the other one's jolly good health.There's a charm about informal parties like these,

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

1

Frenchmen could never make these two words rhyme – but Englishmen can.

I've heard 'em. G. E. F.