Полная версия
Handle Me
In high school, he’d gotten a reputation for being aloof, but stellar in bed. Details she really hadn’t wanted to know—because it only made her fantasies about him worse—but couldn’t quite escape. Van had gotten sick of being the go-to girl for information and advice on how to catch him. Everyone seemed to think she held the code.
And maybe she did. She had to admit, it’d felt amazing to have him come up to her during a football game, sling his arm around her shoulder and include her in whatever conversation he had going.
As far as she knew, he’d never had a long-term relationship. Not that his career really offered the opportunity to find love.
That was a laugh. Because neither did hers. Eight years of college and medical school, four years of residency. Long hours in the ER and plenty of stress. She’d tried dating in her mid-twenties. Had a solid relationship that lasted about eight months.
Ty shifted, his hips sliding against the counter behind him. God, he looked good. But, then, he always had. His biceps bulged against the tight sleeves of the faded T-shirt he’d thrown on this morning. Ink snaked down his right arm, stark black against the golden tan of his skin.
His thighs were huge. She’d bet she couldn’t wrap both hands around the circumference of one. She’d kill to see him in a pair of running shorts, the ropy muscles bunching and straining with movement. She was definitely a leg and ass girl.
“I had to sign an agreement, on your behalf.”
It took Van several seconds to realize what Ty was talking about. Oh, yeah, they were discussing the dog...and not Ty Colson’s fine physique.
“Kaia can no longer be used for security or patrolling, but she knows plenty of commands, most of them you shouldn’t need. Since I’m here, I wanted to teach you the few that would be useful.”
Van’s eyes went wide. Honestly, when her parents had first told her Ty had contacted them about adopting Kaia she hadn’t known how to feel. Conflicted was really the only choice.
She’d heard Ty tell friends and family at the funeral about how Kaia had stayed with Ryan at the end, draping her body over his in a valiant attempt to shield him, despite her own injuries. She was a soldier, willing to die, and deserved to be rewarded for her service.
But every time Van’s gaze met Kaia’s, taking in her dark brown, watchful eyes and missing leg, a blast of grief shot through her chest. The dog was going to be a constant reminder of Ryan’s death. One she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to endure.
She’d actually been talking about getting a dog for months. She was out of her residency and established in her new career. Tired of coming home to an empty house. She’d mentioned it to her parents, knowing she’d need their help on the days she worked long shifts.
She’d been ready to pull the trigger, but her plans had been put on hold when they’d received word that Ryan had died. And since then it just hadn’t felt right.
But now, how could she say no to taking Kaia? Just thinking about it had made her feel guilty as hell.
Although, if she’d known agreeing would include training sessions with Ty, she probably would have worked harder to find a reason to refuse.
If looking at Kaia had her conflicted, looking at Ty was so much worse.
She hated him. She cared about him. She wanted to hurt him the way she was hurting. She wanted to make sure he was okay.
Honestly, she had no idea what to do with the man and the jumble of emotions he made her feel. It was so much easier just not to deal with them...or him.
But that plan wasn’t going to work for the next couple weeks.
Shit.
“Fine. I took a couple weeks off work to get Kaia settled. I’m sure we can find some time to go over things. Why don’t you give me a call after you’ve checked into your hotel and we can set something up for tomorrow.” Might as well get this over with.
Ty nodded, a soft curl of dirty-blond hair flopping over into his eye. Her fingers tingled with the need to reach over and push it out of the way. Instead, she tightened her grip on the counter.
Silence pressed in on the moment, uncomfortably filling the space between them.
Words she didn’t want to say crawled up the back of her throat. But she swallowed them down. They wouldn’t change anything. Wouldn’t bring her brother back. Couldn’t purge the anger and grief, frustration and accusation. Or the unwanted desire and hot memories that had been haunting her dreams for the past four months.
So, as always, she stayed quiet, bottling it inside until the emotions were one big swirl of confusing sludge sucking at the center of her chest.
After several minutes, Ty said, “I’ll go get Kaia’s things,” and turned to walk away.
Van heard the front door open and close. Kaia’s ears pricked, but she didn’t move from her sentry position beside the doorway.
God, it was going to be a very long two weeks.
3
“AGAIN.”
Ty watched frustration pinch Van’s mouth. Given any other set of circumstances, the expression might have been endearing. It wasn’t often that Savannah Cantrell struggled with anything. She was a brilliant ER doctor and one of the most intelligent women Ty had ever met.
She’d always been better, smarter than he was. Hell, too wrapped up in his own anger and shitty life, he’d barely graduated high school.
The problem was, she wasn’t the only one suffering.
Kaia, already struggling to compensate for her missing limb, was desperate to prove herself to her new owner. But Van kept giving the poor dog mixed signals. Kaia wasn’t sure what Van wanted...mostly because Van didn’t seem to have a clue what she wanted the dog to do, either.
Van’s bangs flopped against her forehead as she blew a stream of frustrated air from her mouth.
“Let’s be honest, Ty, I don’t think doing it again is going to help.” He watched her expression, now wary and guarded, flit over Kaia. “Maybe taking her isn’t such a good idea.”
Nope. He had to shut that train of thought down.
Stalking across Van’s sunny backyard, he stopped several feet from Kaia. Gaining her attention, Ty lowered his voice and issued a single command. “Heel.”
Kaia immediately obeyed. Her ears perked up and her body practically vibrated as she moved into the correct position.
“Watch her body language. She wants to obey. She needs you to assume the role of alpha and tell her what to do. Kaia lives to please. Some dogs respond to food or toys. This one laps up praise. It’s part of the reason she and Ryan had such a close bond.”
Van shook her head. “I don’t know that I can do this.”
“Yes, you can. You can’t stand there and tell me you treat the staff in your ER with kid gloves.”
“Of course not. We’re all professionals and we have a job to do.”
Ty nodded. “So does Kaia. Her job is to obey your commands. If you walked into the ER while a patient was coding and whispered, what would happen?”
Van crossed her arms over her chest. “Nothing.”
“Exactly. Everyone would be too busy, upset or lost in their own thoughts to pay attention. Kaia is the same way. She’s a highly trained animal. She’s constantly evaluating her surroundings, which can be a good thing. But not when you want her attention. You have to be louder, stronger and more authoritative than anything else—including her instincts. So, try again.”
Van pulled a huge breath in. She held it for several seconds before letting it go.
A few moments earlier, her body language had been frustrated and unsure. Now she was in control—of herself and hopefully Kaia.
“Kaia, heel.”
This time, Van’s voice was low and strong, holding the bite of authority.
Kaia rolled her eyes up at him, but Ty sat unmoving. Reinforcing the command Van had just given would countermand everything they were trying to accomplish. Van needed to find her voice and Kaia needed to recognize her as the new authority in her life.
After a moment of hesitation, Kaia limped over to Van’s side. She sat on her haunches, nudging her nose against the fist Van had clenched near her thigh.
“Praise her,” Ty murmured.
“Good girl, Kaia,” Van nearly whispered.
“You can do better than that. Kaia craves affection. Give her what she wants when she does something right.”
Van held back for several seconds before turning to the dog and lavishing her with attention. The difference in both the woman and the animal was astonishing. The minute Van’s hands surrounded Kaia’s face, rubbing against her soft fur and giving sweet words, both of them began to shine.
For a brief moment, he wondered what it would take for him to get that kind of affection from Van again.
What a stupid thought since he already knew the answer—generous amounts of whiskey.
“Good, good.” Ty had to clear the tickle from the back of his throat. “Let’s try something a little harder now. Walk with her to the other side of the yard. When you get down there tell her to sit and stay. Use the hand gestures I showed you as well. And then walk back to me.”
Again, Van hesitated and that hesitation caused Kaia to look to Ty for guidance. He purposely averted his gaze and waited for Van to find her confidence again.
Finally, Van did what he’d told her. She fumbled with the hand gestures, but they were close enough that, along with the verbal commands, Kaia knew what was expected of her. And thanks to her training, she responded beautifully.
Kaia’s gaze never left Van as she slowly walked back across the yard. Van stopped several feet away from Ty. The move was intentional. She’d been putting space between them since the moment he walked in the door. For the briefest moment, he thought about calling her on the bullshit.
But that wouldn’t accomplish anything productive.
Clenching his jaw, Ty said, “Do you see how she’s watching you? Her body is strung tight. Even from here, I can see she’s vibrating with excitement and attention. That’s what you want when you’re working with her. And you’re going to need to work with her on a regular basis. She’s used to having a job. She needs that.”
Van nodded stiffly.
“All right, call her to you. And don’t forget to praise her when she obeys.”
Van did what he said and Kaia followed her commands perfectly. But it was obvious Van felt completely out of her element. He’d hoped that as she worked with Kaia, she would get more comfortable. But almost an hour and a half into their first session she was still struggling.
Apparently, he needed to adjust his expectations.
He watched Van go through the motions for several more minutes without prompting her. When he was giving Van instructions she was okay, but on her own...she was clearly uncomfortable. And that tension was translating to Kaia, who was starting to act up.
If Van didn’t get a hold of herself, Kaia was going to take over.
“Stop!” Ty finally yelled across the yard.
Kaia immediately halted, her eyes darting straight to him, her body quivering with anticipation.
Van’s shoulders slumped. She blew a frustrated breath out of her mouth, fluttering the fringe of bangs hanging into her eyes. Her skin was flushed with irritation.
Not a good situation for handler or dog. “Let’s take a break,” Ty suggested, though it really was more of a command.
“No. I want to get this. I will get this.” The determination in her voice might have been endearing if it wasn’t so destructive.
“Van, sometimes it’s better to know when to walk away. You can’t power through everything...or be perfect at everything. Kaia’s had enough for the day. She deserves a treat. Let’s go for a walk.”
* * *
THE TENSION WAS giving her a headache. Ty’s expectations weighed on her. She was used to being top of her class, but at the moment she felt like a complete idiot.
How could she manage her ER staff with authority and ease, but not be able to command a single dog with any sense of confidence?
The more she floundered the more frustrated she became.
And the confusion she saw every time she looked into Kaia’s eyes wasn’t helping.
She had no idea what she was doing, and the more time she spent with Ty and Kaia, the more that was becoming obvious. While Ty commanded the dog with calm efficiency, Van was out of her element.
She didn’t like that sensation at all.
Anxiety coursed through her body, an electrical current crackling across her skin.
And it didn’t help that every time Ty came close, that energy doubled back on her, zapping her like she’d touched metal to a light socket.
She wanted him to touch her. She also wanted him to go away.
He did neither.
“I’ll only be here a little while, Van.”
She didn’t need him pointing out the obvious, especially when it made her stomach feel like a hollow pit.
“I saw a park a couple blocks over when I drove in yesterday. Why don’t we get a change of scenery? It’ll be good for both you and Kaia.”
Van nodded. What else could she do?
She’d lived in the neighborhood for almost three years now. Driven past that park thousands of times. But couldn’t remember visiting once. It wasn’t her kind of place, full of people and kids. Dogs. Women in their little running shorts and matching sports bras.
When she needed stress relief she preferred a nice, clean gym to exercising in the elements. Climate-controlled and structured. That’s what she liked.
Whatever.
“Let me change my shoes.” If they were walking, the sandals she’d slipped on weren’t very practical. Sitting on the end of the bed, she pulled out her running shoes and stared at the laces as she tied double knots.
The rumble of Ty’s voice reached her, not enough to understand the words, but the tone was clear. He was talking to Kaia. She could hear the animation in his voice, inflection that wasn’t present whenever he talked to Van. At least not today.
Four months ago...
The memory of him looming over her in the dark, whispering words against her skin, assaulted her. Dirty words that made her blood sing. Sweet words that had her body melting. Nonsense that actually made all the sense in the world—at least, it had at the time...
Shit.
Screwing her eyes shut, Van pushed the thoughts away. They weren’t productive or helpful. In fact, if she couldn’t get them under control they were going to sabotage her.
A cold nose against her bare leg startled her. Her eyes popped open and looked straight into the warm brown ones staring patiently back at her.
“Good girl, Kaia,” Ty said. He filled the doorway to her bedroom, his wide shoulders pressed against the jamb and his thick arms crossed over the expanse of a muscled chest.
Double shit.
“What are you doing in my bedroom, Ty?” The words came out much more harsh than she’d wanted, tinged with the fear that she wouldn’t be able to control herself with his close proximity to her bed.
“Kaia was getting impatient. Hurry up.”
His dictatorial tone made her want to snap at him, but she bit back the instinct. She would not take the bait.
Growing up, Ty had delighted in making her react. It was a game he liked to play. How quickly could he get her to lose her temper? Back then, the answer was very.
Now, she prided herself on her self-control and no one, especially Ty Colson, was going to make her lose that.
Standing up, she rested a hand on Kaia’s head and spoke to the dog instead of the man. “Well, then, let’s get this show on the road.”
Ty turned and headed back down the hallway ahead of her. Kaia gave a little whimper, her gaze swinging back and forth between the two of them, unsure as to whom she should follow, but finally settling on a position between them.
A plastic bag swung from Ty’s hand, a leash twined between his fingers. At the front door he paused long enough to reach back and clip the end onto the harness Kaia was wearing.
She tried to stay behind Ty and Kaia as they hit the sidewalk in front of her house, but Kaia kept turning around to look at her. Eventually, Ty slowed down, matching his gait to hers and placing Kaia directly between them.
The dog seemed much happier with that arrangement, so Van let it be.
They walked in silence, but that didn’t stop her mind from whirling ninety to nothing.
She could feel him...the masculine vibe that emanated from his entire body. He didn’t even have to try, it was just there.
He was a man. Always had been. Even as a gangly teenager, there’d been something about him...something older than any kid deserved to be.
Van racked her brain for something to talk about, but nothing seemed safe. She didn’t want to discuss her brother, which meant just about every memory, friend and acquaintance they shared was off-limits. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to discuss their interlude in the tree house.
Kaia’s shoulder brushed against her thigh. She watched the dog’s limping stride, and not for the first time felt awed by how completely she compensated for the loss of her limb.
Guilt swamped Van. She should have been paying more attention to Kaia instead of worrying about her own bad mood, and should have walked slowly so the dog wouldn’t have to put in so much effort. Not that it seemed to bother her.
“She’s completely healed?” Van found herself asking, although she hadn’t planned on going there. Thoughts of Kaia’s injuries inevitably led to thoughts of her brother’s death.
“She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t. She had to be medically cleared and then psychologically evaluated to ensure she could make a safe pet before the military would consider adopting her out.”
“Oh.”
He’d said something about that before, but Van hadn’t really thought about the process. She knew it had taken some time, but just assumed most of that had been for Kaia to heal from her injuries.
“Are there any residual medical issues? Any medications? Therapy? How can I help her?”
Ty turned, his gaze spearing into hers. She got lost in those stormy-blue eyes for a second, her mind emptying of everything but him...and how he could make her body hum.
Shaking her head, Van tried to pull herself back to reality.
“Nope, she’s fully healed. Nothing you need to do except love her.”
Love her. Why did that thought cause nerves, grief and longing to mix uncomfortably in her belly?
They reached the park. From several feet away, someone called her name.
“Savannah! Hey, Savannah!”
She looked over to find one of her neighbors waving frantically.
Nadine lived two doors down. The week Van had moved in she’d shown up at the door with a plate of brownies and a big smile on her face. She was sweet, nosy and—it didn’t take Van long to realize—the self-appointed neighborhood gossip.
“Did you hear about Mr. Macintosh? Poor thing. He shouldn’t have been trying to clean those gutters himself, though. My son Eric would have been happy to help. I didn’t know you had a dog. And who’s this tall drink of water with you?”
Nadine finally paused, staring up at Van expectantly from where she’d crouched down to pet Kaia’s head.
But before Van could answer, Ty stepped forward. “Ma’am, you should never approach a dog without permission from the owner.”
“Oh.” Nadine blinked and then scrambled up. “I’m sorry. I suppose you’re right. I’ve just never met a dog I didn’t like.”
There was something about the mega-watt smile Nadine flashed that set Van’s teeth on edge. Along with the neighborhood gossip, she was also known as the neighborhood flirt.
“What happened to the poor thing?”
Van’s stomach rolled. For the first time she realized that this was a question she’d have to answer over and over again.
And that each time she did would be a reminder of Ryan.
She had no idea what to say. But luckily, Ty did.
“Kaia is a retired military working dog. She was injured in the line of duty.”
“Oh, the poor thing,” Nadine gushed, again reaching out to touch her.
“She’s been trained as an attack dog.”
Van had to admit a small part of her was gleeful at the way Nadine snatched her hand back, cradling it against her chest like Kaia had snapped at her. Kaia simply sat, patiently watching the flighty woman.
With a wide-eyed glance, Nadine’s gaze darted around the park full of people, taking in the mothers, fathers, grandparents and kids running, yelling and laughing.
“Is it safe to have her here?”
“Absolutely. She won’t attack unless ordered to.”
Nadine’s wary gaze returned to Kaia. “Gosh, she looks so sweet.”
“She is. One of the sweetest dogs you’ll ever meet.”
Nadine flashed another smile, this one a bit sickly, and then made her excuses to leave. Van watched her flit from group to group, no doubt relaying the message that Kaia was a killing machine everyone should protect their children from.
“Dammit,” Van whispered under her breath.
“Not like you could keep her history a secret, Van. At least this way she’ll spread the information for you so that you don’t have to answer questions every time you and Kaia step out of the house.”
Van looked over at Ty. He simply stared at her, understanding filling his gaze.
“Thanks.”
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