The Memoirs of Count Grammont

Thus far everything went well on her side: Jermyn was not only confounded at having received his discharge in so cavalier a manner; but this very demonstration of her indifference had revived, and even redoubled, all the love and affection he had formerly felt for her. Thus she had both the pleasure of despising him, and of seeing him more entangled in the chains of love than he had ever been before. This was not sufficient: she wished still farther, and very unadvisedly, to strain her resentment.

Ovid’s Epistles, – [This is the translation of Ovid’s Epistles published by Mr. Dryden. The second edition of it was printed in 1681.] – translated into English verse by the greatest wits at court, having lately been published, she wrote a letter from a shepherdess in despair, addressed to the perfidious Jermyn. She took the epistle of Ariadne to Theseus for her model. The beginning of this letter contained, word for word, the complaints and reproaches of that injured fair to the cruel man by whom she had been abandoned. All this was properly adapted to the present times and circumstances. It was her design to have closed this piece with a description of the toils, perils, and monsters, that awaited him in Guinea, for which he quitted a tender mistress, who was plunged into the abyss of misery, and was overwhelmed with grief and despair; but not having had time to finish it, nor to get that which she had written transcribed, in order to send it to him under a feigned name, she inconsiderately put this fragment, written in her own hand, into her pocket, and, still more giddily, dropped it in the middle of the court. Those who took it up, knowing her writing, made several copies of it, which were circulated all over the town; but her former conduct had so well established the reputation of her virtue, that no person entertained the smallest doubt but the circumstances were exactly as we have related them. Some time after, the Guinea expedition was laid aside for reasons that are universally known, and Miss Jenning’s subsequent proceedings fully justified her letter; for, notwithstanding all the efforts and attentions Jermyn practised to regain her affections, she would never more hear of him.

But he was not the only man who experienced the whimsical fatality, that seemed to delight in disuniting hearts, in order to engage them soon after to different objects. One would have imagined that the God of Love, actuated by some new caprice, had placed his empire under the dominion of Hymen, and had, at the same time, blind-folded that God, in order to cross-match most of the lovers whom we have been speaking of’

The fair Stewart married the Duke of Richmond; the invincible Jermyn, a silly country girl; Lord Rochester, a melancholy heiress; the sprightly Temple, the serious Lyttleton; Talbot, without knowing why or wherefore, took to wife the languishing Boynton; George Hamilton, under more favourable auspices, married the lovely Jennings; and the Chevalier de Grammont, as the reward of a constancy he had never before known, and which he never afterwards practised, found Hymen and Love united in his favour, and was at last blessed with the possession of Miss Hamilton.

[After the deaths of Miss Boynton and of George Hamilton, Talbot married Miss Jennings, and became afterwards Duke of Tyrconnel.] [“The famous Count Grammont was thought to be the original of The Forced Marriage. This nobleman, during his stay at the court of England, had made love to Miss Hamilton, but was coming away for France without bringing matters to a proper conclusion. The young lady’s brothers pursued him, and came up with him near Dover, in order to exchange some pistol-shot with him: They called out, ‘Count Grammont, have you forgot nothing at London?’ ‘Excuse me,’ answered the Count, guessing their errand, ‘I forgot to marry your sister; so lead on, and let us finish that affair.’ By the pleasantry of the answer, this was the same Grammont who commanded at the siege of a place, the governor of which capitulated after a short defence, and obtained an easy capitulation. The governor then said to Monsieur Grammont, I’ll tell you a secret – that the reason of my capitulation was, because I was in want of powder.’ Monsieur replied, ‘And secret for secret – the reason of my granting you such an easy capitulation was, because I was in want of ball.” – Biog. Gallica, vol. i., p. 202. Count Grammont and his lady left England in 1669. King Charles in a letter to his sister, the Duchess of Orleans, dated 24th October, in that year, says, “I writt to you yesterday, by the Compte de Grammont, but I beleeve this letter will come sooner to your handes; for he goes by the way of Diep, with his wife and family; and now that I have named her, I cannot chuse but againe desire you to be kinde to her; for, besides the merrit her family has on both sides, she is as good a creature as ever lived. I beleeve she will passe for a handsome woman in France, though she has not yett, since her lying-inn, recovered that good shape she had before, and I am affraide never will.” – Dalxymple’s Memoirs, vol. ii. p. 26. “The Count de Grammont fell dangerously ill in the year 1696; of which the king (Louis XIV.) being informed, and knowing, besides, that he was inclined to libertinism, he was pleased to send the Marquis of Dangeau to see how he did, and to advise him to think of God. Hereupon Count de Grammont, turning towards his wife, who had ever been a very devout lady, told her, Countess, if you don’t look to it, Dangeau will juggle you out of my conversion. Madame de l’Enclos having afterwards written to M. de St Evremond that Count de Grammont was recovered, and turned devout, – I have learned, answered he to her, with a great deal of pleasure, that Count de Grammont has recovered his former health, and acquired a new devotion. Hitherto I have been contented with being a plain honest man; but I must do something more; and I only wait for your example to become a devotee. You live in a country where people have wonderful advantages of saving their souls, there vice is almost as opposite to the mode as to virtue; sinning passes for ill-breeding, and shocks decency and good manners, as much as religion, Formerly it was enough to be wicked; now one must be a scoundrel withal, to be damned in France. They who have not regard enough for another life, are led to salvation by the consideration and duties of this.” – “But there is enough upon a subject in which the conversion of the Count de Grammont has engaged me: I believe it to be sincere and honest. It well becomes a man who is not young, to forget he has been so.” – Life of St. Evremond, by Des Marzeaux, p. 136; and St. Evremond’s Works, vol. ii. p. 431.]

PG EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS: All day poring over his books, and went to bed soon Ambition to pass for a wit, only established her tiresome An affectation of purity of manners As all fools are who have good memories Better memory for injuries than for benefits Better to know nothing at all, than to know too much Better to partake with another than to have nothing at all Busy without consequence By a strange perversion of language, styled, all men of honour Despising everything which was not like themselves Devote himself to his studies, than to the duties of matrimony Duke would see things if he could Embellish the truth, in order to enhance the wonder Entreating pardon, and at the same time justifying her conduct Envy each other those indulgences which themselves refuse Every thing that is necessary is honourable in politics Four dozen of patches, at least, and ten ringlets of hair Good attendants, but understood cheating still better Great earnestness passed for business Grew so fat and plump that it was a blessing to see her Hardly possible for a woman to have less wit, or more beauty He had no sentiments but such as others inspired him with He talked eternally, without saying anything He as little feared the Marquis as he loved him His mistress given him by his priests for penance How I must hate you, if I did not love you to distraction Impenetrable stupidity (passed) for secrecy Impertinent compliments Life, in his opinion, was too short to read all sorts of books Long habit of suffering himself to be robbed by his domestics Maxim of all jealous husbands Never felt the pressure of indigence Not disagreeable, but he had a serious contemplative air Not that he wanted capacity, but he was too self-sufficient Obstinate against all other advices Offended that his good fortune raised him no rivals One amour is creditable to a lady Possessed but little raillery, and still less patience Public is not so easily deceived as some people imagine Public grows familiar with everything by habit Reasons of state assume great privileges Resolved to renounce the church for the salvation of my soul She just said what she ought, and no more So weak as to transform your slave into your tyrant Terrible piece of furniture for the country (educated girl) The shortest follies are the best There are men of real merit, or pretenders to it They can by no means bear the inconstancy of their mistresses Those who open a book merely to find fault Very willing to accept, but was tardy in making returns Wealth was necessary for the conveniencies of a long life What jealousy fears, and what it always deserves What a glory would it be to have a Cato for a husband Would have been criminal even in chastity to spare (her husband)