The Fortunes of Nigel

“I – I incline to think,” said the scrivener, “that the term is expired.”

“You will pardon us, Master Scrivener,” said Lowestoffe. “You will not baffle us – it wants three-quarters of noon by every clock in the city.”

“I must have time, gentlemen,” said Andrew, “to examine the gold by tale and weight.”

“Do so at your leisure, Master Scrivener,” replied Lowestoffe again. “We have already seen the contents of each sack told and weighed, and we have put our seals on them. There they stand in a row, twenty in number, each containing three hundred yellow-hammers – we are witnesses to the lawful tender.”

“Gentlemen,” said the scrivener, “this security now belongs to a mighty lord. I pray you, abate your haste, and let me send for Lord Dalgarno, – or rather I will run for him myself.”

So saying, he took up his hat; but Lowestoffe called out, – “Friend Moniplies, keep the door fast, an thou be’st a man! he seeks but to put off the time. – In plain terms, Andrew, you may send for the devil, if you will, who is the mightiest lord of my acquaintance, but from hence you stir not till you have answered our proposition, by rejecting or accepting the redemption-money fairly tendered – there it lies – take it, or leave it, as you will. I have skill enough to know that the law is mightier than any lord in Britain – I have learned so much at the Temple, if I have learned nothing else. And see that you trifle not with it, lest it make your long ears an inch shorter, Master Skurliewhitter.”

“Nay, gentlemen, if you threaten me,” said the scrivener, “I cannot resist compulsion.”

“No threats – no threats at all, my little Andrew,” said Lowestoffe; “a little friendly advice only – forget not, honest Andrew, I have seen you in Alsatia.”

Without answering a single word, the scrivener sat down, and drew in proper form a full receipt for the money proffered.

“I take it on your report, Master Lowestoffe,” he said; “I hope you will remember I have insisted neither upon weight nor tale – I have been civil – if there is deficiency I shall come to loss.”

“Fillip his nose with a gold-piece, Richie,” quoth the Templar. “Take up the papers, and now wend we merrily to dine thou wot’st where.”

“If I might choose,” said Richie, “it should not be at yonder roguish ordinary; but as it is your pleasure, gentlemen, the treat shall be given wheresoever you will have it.”

“At the ordinary,” said the one Templar.

“At Beaujeu’s,” said the other; “it is the only house in London for neat wines, nimble drawers, choice dishes, and – ”

“And high charges,” quoth Richie Moniplies. “But, as I said before, gentlemen, ye have a right to command me in this thing, having so frankly rendered me your service in this small matter of business, without other stipulation than that of a slight banquet.”

The latter part of this discourse passed in the street, where, immediately afterwards, they met Lord Dalgarno. He appeared in haste, touched his hat slightly to Master Lowestoffe, who returned his reverence with the same negligence, and walked slowly on with his companion, while Lord Dalgarno stopped Richie Moniplies with a commanding sign, which the instinct of education compelled Moniplies, though indignant, to obey.

“Whom do you now follow, sirrah?” demanded the noble.

“Whomsoever goeth before me, my lord,” answered Moniplies.

“No sauciness, you knave – I desire to know if you still serve Nigel Olifaunt?” said Dalgarno.

“I am friend to the noble Lord Glenvarloch,” answered Moniplies, with dignity.

“True,” replied Lord Dalgarno, “that noble lord has sunk to seek friends among lackeys – Nevertheless, – hark thee hither, – nevertheless, if he be of the same mind as when we last met, thou mayst show him, that, on to-morrow, at four afternoon, I shall pass northward by Enfield Chase – I will be slenderly attended, as I design to send my train through Barnet. It is my purpose to ride an easy pace through the forest, and to linger a while by Camlet Moat – he knows the place; and, if he be aught but an Alsatian bully, will think it fitter for some purposes than the Park. He is, I understand, at liberty, or shortly to be so. If he fail me at the place nominated, he must seek me in Scotland, where he will find me possessed of his father’s estate and lands.”

“Humph!” muttered Richie; “there go twa words to that bargain.”

He even meditated a joke on the means which he was conscious he possessed of baffling Lord Dalgarno’s expectations; but there was something of keen and dangerous excitement in the eyes of the young nobleman, which prompted his discretion for once to rule his vit, and he only answered —

“God grant your lordship may well brook your new conquest – when you get it. I shall do your errand to my lord – whilk is to say,” he added internally, “he shall never hear a word of it from Richie. I am not the lad to put him in such hazard.”

Lord Dalgarno looked at him sharply for a moment, as if to penetrate the meaning of the dry ironical tone, which, in spite of Richie’s awe, mingled with his answer, and then waved his hand, in signal he should pass on. He himself walked slowly till the trio were out of sight, then turned back with hasty steps to the door of the scrivener, which he had passed in his progress, knocked, and was admitted.

Lord Dalgarno found the man of law with the money-bags still standing before him; and it escaped not his penetrating glance, that Skurliewhitter was disconcerted and alarmed at his approach.

“How now, man,” he said; “what! hast thou not a word of oily compliment to me on my happy marriage? – not a word of most philosophical consolation on my disgrace at Court? – Or has my mien, as a wittol and discarded favourite, the properties of the Gorgon’s head, the turbatae Palladis arma, as Majesty might say?”

“My lord, I am glad – my lord, I am sorry,” – answered the trembling scrivener, who, aware of the vivacity of Lord Dalgarno’s temper, dreaded the consequence of the communication he had to make to him.

“Glad and sorry!” answered Lord Dalgarno. “That is blowing hot and cold, with a witness. Hark ye, you picture of petty-larceny personified – if you are sorry I am a cuckold, remember I am only mine own, you knave – there is too little blood in her cheeks to have sent her astray elsewhere. Well, I will bear mine antler’d honours as I may – gold shall gild them; and for my disgrace, revenge shall sweeten it. Ay, revenge – and there strikes the happy hour!”

The hour of noon was accordingly heard to peal from Saint Dunstan’s. “Well banged, brave hammers!” said Lord Dalgarno, in triumph. – “The estate and lands of Glenvarloch are crushed beneath these clanging blows. If my steel to-morrow prove but as true as your iron maces to-day, the poor landless lord will little miss what your peal hath cut him out from. – The papers – the papers, thou varlet! I am to-morrow Northward, ho! At four, afternoon, I am bound to be at Camlet Moat, in the Enfield Chase. To-night most of my retinue set forward. The papers! – Come, dispatch.”

“My lord, the – the papers of the Glenvarloch mortgage – I – I have them not.”

“Have them not!” echoed Lord Dalgarno, – “Hast thou sent them to my lodgings, thou varlet? Did I not say I was coming hither? – What mean you by pointing to that money? What villainy have you done for it? It is too large to be come honestly by.”

“Your lordship knows best,” answered the scrivener, in great perturbation. “The gold is your own. It is – it is – ”

“Not the redemption-money of the Glenvarloch estate!” said Dalgarno. “Dare not say it is, or I will, upon the spot, divorce your pettifogging soul from your carrion carcass!” So saying, he seized the scrivener by the collar, and shook him so vehemently, that he tore it from the cassock.

“My lord, I must call for help,” said the trembling caitiff, who felt at that moment all the bitterness of the mortal agony – “It was the law’s act, not mine. What could I do?”

“Dost ask? – why, thou snivelling dribblet of damnation, were all thy oaths, tricks, and lies spent? or do you hold yourself too good to utter them in my service? Thou shouldst have lied, cozened, out-sworn truth itself, rather than stood betwixt me and my revenge! But mark me,” he continued; “I know more of your pranks than would hang thee. A line from me to the Attorney-General, and thou art sped.”

“What would you have me to do, my lord?” said the scrivener. “All that art and law can accomplish, I will try.”

“Ah, are you converted? do so, or pity of your life!” said the lord; “and remember I never fail my word. – Then keep that accursed gold,” he continued. “Or, stay, I will not trust you – send me this gold home presently to my lodging. I will still forward to Scotland, and it shall go hard but that I hold out Glenvarloch Castle against the owner, by means of the ammunition he has himself furnished. Thou art ready to serve me?” The scrivener professed the most implicit obedience.

“Then remember, the hour was past ere payment was tendered – and see thou hast witnesses of trusty memory to prove that point.”

“Tush, my lord, I will do more,” said Andrew, reviving – “I will prove that Lord Glenvarloch’s friends threatened, swaggered, and drew swords on me. – Did your lordship think I was ungrateful enough to have suffered them to prejudice your lordship, save that they had bare swords at my throat?”

“Enough said,” replied Dalgarno; “you are perfect – mind that you continue so, as you would avoid my fury. I leave my page below – get porters, and let them follow me instantly with the gold.”

So saying, Lord Dalgarno left the scrivener’s habitation.

Skurliewhitter, having dispatched his boy to get porters of trust for transporting the money, remained alone and in dismay, meditating by what means he could shake himself free of the vindictive and ferocious nobleman, who possessed at once a dangerous knowledge of his character, and the power of exposing him, where exposure would be ruin. He had indeed acquiesced in the plan, rapidly sketched, for obtaining possession of the ransomed estate, but his experience foresaw that this would be impossible; while, on the other hand, he could not anticipate the various consequences of Lord Dalgarno’s resentment, without fears, from which his sordid soul recoiled. To be in the power, and subject both to the humours and the extortions of a spendthrift young lord, just when his industry had shaped out the means of fortune, – it was the most cruel trick which fate could have played the incipient usurer.

While the scrivener was in this fit of anxious anticipation, one knocked at the door of the apartment; and, being desired to enter, appeared in the coarse riding-cloak of uncut Wiltshire cloth, fastened by a broad leather belt and brass buckle, which was then generally worn by graziers and countrymen. Skurliewhitter, believing he saw in his visitor a country client who might prove profitable, had opened his mouth to request him to be seated, when the stranger, throwing back his frieze hood which he had drawn over his face, showed the scrivener features well imprinted in his recollection, but which he never saw without a disposition to swoon.

“Is it you?” he said, faintly, as the stranger replaced the hood which concealed his features.

“Who else should it be?” said his visitor.

“Thou son of parchment, got betwixt the inkhorn And the stuff’d process-bag – that mayest call The pen thy father, and the ink thy mother,

The wax thy brother, and the sand thy sisterAnd the good pillory thy cousin allied —Rise, and do reverence unto me, thy better!”

“Not yet down to the country,” said the scrivener, “after every warning? Do not think your grazier’s cloak will bear you out, captain – no, nor your scraps of stage-plays.”

“Why, what would you have me to do?” said the captain – “Would you have me starve? If I am to fly, you must eke my wings with a few feathers. You can spare them, I think.”

“You had means already – you have had ten pieces – What is become of them?”

“Gone,” answered Captain Colepepper – “Gone, no matter where – I had a mind to bite, and I was bitten, that’s all – I think my hand shook at the thought of t’other night’s work, for I trowled the doctors like a very baby.”

“And you have lost all, then? – Well, take this and be gone,” said the scrivener.

“What, two poor smelts! Marry, plague of your bounty! – But remember, you are as deep in as I.”

“Not so, by Heaven!” answered the scrivener; “I only thought of easing the old man of some papers and a trifle of his gold, and you took his life.”

“Were he living,” answered Colepepper, “he would rather have lost it than his money. – But that is not the question, Master Skurliewhitter – you undid the private bolts of the window when you visited him about some affairs on the day ere he died – so satisfy yourself, that, if I am taken, I will not swing alone. Pity Jack Hempsfield is dead, it spoils the old catch,

     ‘And three merry men, and three merry men,      And three merry men are we,      As ever did sing three parts in a string,      All under the triple tree.’”

“For God’s sake, speak lower,” said the scrivener; “is this a place or time to make your midnight catches heard? – But how much will serve your turn? I tell you I am but ill provided.”

“You tell me a lie, then,” said the bully – “a most palpable and gross lie. – How much, d’ye say, will serve my turn? Why, one of these bags will do for the present.”

“I swear to you that these bags of money are not at my disposal.”

“Not honestly, perhaps,” said the captain, “but that makes little difference betwixt us.”

“I swear to you,” continued the scrivener “they are in no way at my disposal – they have been delivered to me by tale – I am to pay them over to Lord Dalgarno, whose boy waits for them, and I could not skelder one piece out of them, without risk of hue and cry.”

“Can you not put off the delivery?” said the bravo, his huge hand still fumbling with one of the bags, as if his fingers longed to close on it.

“Impossible,” said the scrivener, “he sets forward to Scotland to-morrow.”

“Ay!” said the bully, after a moment’s thought – “Travels he the north road with such a charge?”

“He is well accompanied,” added the scrivener; “but yet – ”

“But yet – but what?” said the bravo.

“Nay, I meant nothing,” said the scrivener.

“Thou didst – thou hadst the wind of some good thing,” replied Colepepper; “I saw thee pause like a setting dog. Thou wilt say as little, and make as sure a sign, as a well-bred spaniel.”

“All I meant to say, captain, was, that his servants go by Barnet, and he himself, with his page, pass through Enfield Chase; and he spoke to me yesterday of riding a soft pace.”

“Aha! – Comest thou to me there, my boy?”

“And of resting” – continued the scrivener, – “resting a space at Camlet Moat.”

“Why, this is better than cock-fighting!” said the captain.

“I see not how it can advantage you, captain,” said the scrivener. “But, however, they cannot ride fast, for his page rides the sumpter-horse, which carries all that weight,” pointing to the money on the table. “Lord Dalgarno looks sharp to the world’s gear.”

“That horse will be obliged to those who may ease him of his burden,” said the bravo; “and egad, he may be met with. – He hath still that page – that same Lutin – that goblin? Well, the boy hath set game for me ere now. I will be revenged, too, for I owe him a grudge for an old score at the ordinary. Let me see – Black Feltham, and Dick Shakebag – we shall want a fourth – I love to make sure, and the booty will stand parting, besides what I can bucket them out of. Well, scrivener, lend me two pieces. – Bravely done – nobly imparted! Give ye good-den.” And wrapping his disguise closer around him, away he went.

When he had left the room, the scrivener wrung his hands, and exclaimed, “More blood – more blood! I thought to have had done with it, but this time there was no fault with me – none – and then I shall have all the advantage. If this ruffian falls, there is truce with his tugs at my purse-strings; and if Lord Dalgarno dies – as is most likely, for though as much afraid of cold steel as a debtor of a dun, this fellow is a deadly shot from behind a bush, – then am I in a thousand ways safe – safe – safe.”

We willingly drop the curtain over him and his reflections.

CHAPTER XXXV

  We are not worst at once – the course of evil  Begins so slowly, and from such slight source,  An infant’s hand might stem its breach with clay;  But let the stream get deeper, and philosophy —  Ay, and religion too – shall strive in vain  To turn the headlong torrent.Old Play.

The Templars had been regaled by our friend Richie Moniplies in a private chamber at Beaujeu’s, where he might be considered as good company; for he had exchanged his serving-man’s cloak and jerkin for a grave yet handsome suit of clothes, in the fashion of the times, but such as might have befitted an older man than himself. He had positively declined presenting himself at the ordinary, a point to which his companions were very desirous to have brought him, for it will be easily believed that such wags as Lowestoffe and his companion were not indisposed to a little merriment at the expense of the raw and pedantic Scotsman; besides the chance of easing him of a few pieces, of which he appeared to have acquired considerable command. But not even a succession of measures of sparkling sack, in which the little brilliant atoms circulated like motes in the sun’s rays, had the least effect on Richie’s sense of decorum. He retained the gravity of a judge, even while he drank like a fish, partly from his own natural inclination to good liquor, partly in the way of good fellowship towards his guests. When the wine began to make some innovation on their heads, Master Lowestoffe, tired, perhaps, of the humours of Richie, who began to become yet more stoically contradictory and dogmatical than even in the earlier part of the entertainment, proposed to his friend to break up their debauch and join the gamesters.

The drawer was called accordingly, and Richie discharged the reckoning of the party, with a generous remuneration to the attendants, which was received with cap and knee, and many assurances of – “Kindly welcome, gentlemen.”

“I grieve we should part so soon, gentlemen,” said Richie to his companions, – “and I would you had cracked another quart ere you went, or stayed to take some slight matter of supper, and a glass of Rhenish. I thank you, however, for having graced my poor collation thus far; and I commend you to fortune, in your own courses, for the ordinary neither was, is, nor shall be, an element of mine.”

“Fare thee well, then,” said Lowestoffe, “most sapient and sententious Master Moniplies. May you soon have another mortgage to redeem, and may I be there to witness it; and may you play the good fellow, as heartily as you have done this day.”

“Nay, gentlemen, it is merely of your grace to say so – but, if you would but hear me speak a few words of admonition respecting this wicked ordinary – ”

“Reserve the lesson, most honourable Richie,” said Lowestoffe, “until I have lost all my money,” showing, at the same time, a purse indifferently well provided, “and then the lecture is likely to have some weight.”

“And keep my share of it, Richie,” said the other Templar, showing an almost empty purse, in his turn, “till this be full again, and then I will promise to hear you with some patience.”

“Ay, ay, gallants,” said Richie, “the full and the empty gang a’ ae gate, and that is a grey one – but the time will come.”

“Nay, it is come already,” said Lowestoffe; “they have set out the hazard table. Since you will peremptorily not go with us, why, farewell, Richie.”

“And farewell, gentlemen,” said Richie, and left the house, into which they had returned.

Moniplies was not many steps from the door, when a person, whom, lost in his reflections on gaming, ordinaries, and the manners of the age, he had not observed, and who had been as negligent on his part, ran full against him; and, when Richie desired to know whether he meant “ony incivility,” replied by a curse on Scotland, and all that belonged to it. A less round reflection on his country would, at any time, have provoked Richie, but more especially when he had a double quart of Canary and better in his pate. He was about to give a very rough answer, and to second his word by action, when a closer view of his antagonist changed his purpose.

“You are the vera lad in the warld,” said Richie, “whom I most wished to meet.”

“And you,” answered the stranger, “or any of your beggarly countrymen, are the last sight I should ever wish to see. You Scots are ever fair and false, and an honest man cannot thrive within eyeshot of you.”

“As to our poverty, friend,” replied Richie, “that is as Heaven pleases; but touching our falset, I’ll prove to you that a Scotsman bears as leal and true a heart to his friend as ever beat in English doublet.”

“I care not whether he does or not,” said the gallant. “Let me go – why keep you hold of my cloak? Let me go, or I will thrust you into the kennel.”

“I believe I could forgie ye, for you did me a good turn once, in plucking me out of it,” said the Scot.

“Beshrew my fingers, then, if they did so,” replied the stranger. “I would your whole country lay there, along with you; and Heaven’s curse blight the hand that helped to raise them! – Why do you stop my way?” he added, fiercely.

“Because it is a bad one, Master Jenkin,” said Richie. “Nay, never start about it, man – you see you are known. Alack-a-day! that an honest man’s son should live to start at hearing himself called by his own name!” Jenkin struck his brow violently with his clenched fist.

“Come, come,” said Richie, “this passion availeth nothing. Tell me what gate go you?”

“To the devil!” answered Jin Vin.

“That is a black gate, if you speak according to the letter,” answered Richie; “but if metaphorically, there are worse places in this great city than the Devil Tavern; and I care not if I go thither with you, and bestow a pottle of burnt sack on you – it will correct the crudities of my stomach, and form a gentle preparative for the leg of a cold pullet.”

“I pray you, in good fashion, to let me go,” said Jenkin. “You may mean me kindly, and I wish you to have no wrong at my hand; but I am in the humour to be dangerous to myself, or any one.”

“I will abide the risk,” said the Scot, “if you will but come with me; and here is a place convenient, a howff nearer than the Devil, whilk is but an ill-omened drouthy name for a tavern. This other of the Saint Andrew is a quiet place, where I have ta’en my whetter now and then, when I lodged in the neighbourhood of the Temple with Lord Glenvarloch. – What the deil’s the matter wi’ the man, garr’d him gie sic a spang as that, and almaist brought himself and me on the causeway?”

“Do not name that false Scot’s name to me,” said Jin Vin, “if you would not have me go mad! – I was happy before I saw him – he has been the cause of all the ill that has befallen me – he has made a knave and a madman of me!”

“If you are a knave,” said Richie, “you have met an officer – if you are daft, you have met a keeper; but a gentle officer and a kind keeper. Look you, my gude friend, there has been twenty things said about this same lord, in which there is no more truth than in the leasings of Mahound. The warst they can say of him is, that he is not always so amenable to good advice as I would pray him, you, and every young man to be. Come wi’ me – just come ye wi’ me; and, if a little spell of siller and a great deal of excellent counsel can relieve your occasions, all I can say is, you have had the luck to meet one capable of giving you both, and maist willing to bestow them.”

The pertinacity of the Scot prevailed over the sullenness of Vincent, who was indeed in a state of agitation and incapacity to think for himself, which led him to yield the more readily to the suggestions of another. He suffered himself to be dragged into the small tavern which Richie recommended, and where they soon found themselves seated in a snug niche, with a reeking pottle of burnt sack, and a paper of sugar betwixt them. Pipes and tobacco were also provided, but were only used by Richie, who had adopted the custom of late, as adding considerably to the gravity and importance of his manner, and affording, as it were, a bland and pleasant accompaniment to the words of wisdom which flowed from his tongue. After they had filled their glasses and drank them in silence, Richie repeated the question, whither his guest was going when they met so fortunately.