Passionately Ever After

“How did you find me?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Does it really matter? The important thing is that I did find you,” he told her, not wanting to admit that he’d broken a few rules in his quest to locate her. When she said nothing, he released a breath in exasperation. “I tracked you through your credit card. You used it to send flowers to your family for Thanksgiving.”

“But how—” she began, only to answer the question herself. “The computer. You hacked into the computer system for my credit card activity.”

“Yes,” he admitted. “And if you’re going to tell me that what I did was illegal, don’t bother. I already know that. But I was desperate to find you.”

“You could have been arrested.”

Steven shrugged. “It would have been a small price to pay.”

“You shouldn’t have risked it,” she charged.

“I would have risked a lot more than that to find you,” he said honestly. “But it seems I got away with my crime. That is, unless you’re planning to turn me in.”

“Of course I’m not,” she countered.

“For a minute there, I wasn’t sure,” he teased, wanting to lighten the mood. Much to his regret, Maria continued to look grim. “Now that I’ve answered your question, how about answering mine?”

Maria wrinkled her brow, causing the tiny crease along her forehead he’d noted whenever she was puzzling over something. “What question?”

“Was Magdalene right? Did you miss me?” When she said nothing, Steven bit back the sting of disappointment and his voice was hard as he said, “It’s a simple question, Maria. All it requires is a yes or no answer. Did you miss me? Even just a little bit?”

“Yes. I’ve missed you,” she said finally, the words little more than a whisper.

Relief rushed through him at her reply and he started toward her. “God, Maria, if you only knew how much—”

“Don’t,” she said, holding up her hand.

Steven stopped in his tracks. Frustration churned inside him. Frustration and hurt. “Don’t what, Maria? Don’t tell you that I love you? That I’ve been going out of my mind these past two months without you? That I believed you when you said that you loved me? And that you damn near cut my heart out when you ran off like you did without any explanation?”

“I left you a note,” she defended.

“Yeah, a few paltry lines saying that you needed to get away. That you needed time to think,” he said, not bothering to keep the bitterness from his voice. He paced the length of the room, jammed a fist through his hair. He whipped back around to face her. “How do you think that made me feel? I tell you that I love you, that I want to marry you and then you disappear and tell me not to try to find you. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he repeated and marched over to where she stood before the fireplace hearth. “You say you love me, then rip my heart out and throw it back in my face by running away, and all you have to say is that you’re sorry?”

She stared up at him out of sad brown eyes. “Believe me, Steven. Hurting you was…is the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

“Well, you did hurt me,” he fired back. Unable to stop himself, he reached for her. “I love you, Maria. And dammit, I know you love me. So why are you doing this to us? Tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” she said and pulled away from him. Hugging her arms to herself, she turned her back to him and stared into the fire. “No one can fix it. No one.”

The tears in her voice ripped at him. “What is it, love? Tell me what’s wrong.”

When Maria shook her head, he turned her around to face him. Tipping up her chin, he stared into eyes bright with tears and secrets. A fist seemed to tighten itself around his heart as he studied her face. He’d always thought Maria beautiful—from the first moment he’d set eyes on her at Nicholas and Gail’s wedding. Yet there was something even more beautiful about her now, an inner glow much like the waitress at his family’s restaurant when she’d been—

Steven yanked his gaze from Maria’s and moved down the length of her body. Emotion churned inside him as he registered the subtle differences in her appearance and demeanor. He took in the shapeless red coat that swallowed her slender frame, noted the protective way Maria’s hands rested near her middle. In the blink of an eye, all the changes in her hit him like a sucker punch. “Take off your coat, Maria,” he commanded in a voice so controlled and cool, it sounded foreign even to him.

She stared at him, like a deer that had been caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, he thought. And he hated the fact that it was fear that he read in her eyes. “Steven—”

“Take off the coat, Maria,” he repeated and softening his voice, he added, “Please.”

With a patience that belied the blood racing like wild-fire through his veins, Steven watched as she slowly unbuttoned the red coat. When the last button had been loosened, she pulled off the coat and tossed it aside. She lifted her head, angled her gaze up to his and stared at him out of eyes bright with defiance.

Steven lowered his gaze and stared at her protruding stomach. Emotions pummeled through him at breakneck speed—anger, joy, hurt. When he lifted his gaze to meet hers again, he read the regret in her eyes. And it was that regret that sent a knife plunging straight through his heart.

“Tell me something, Maria,” he said, taking care to keep his voice soft while rage and pain warred inside him.

“What?”

“Were you even planning to tell me that I was going to be a father?”

Two

For a moment, Maria couldn’t speak. In the time she’d known Steven, she’d discovered a man with many layers. The smart, ambitious businessman who’d made his first million before he’d turned twenty-five. The kind and caring man who loved his family as fiercely as she loved her own. The passionate and tender lover to whom she’d given her virginity and her heart. But never once, not even when she’d refused to take their relationship public or to discuss his offer of marriage, had she seen Steven like this—in a white-hot fury made all the more chilling because he kept it so tightly leashed.

Anger emanated from every pore of his being. It was there in the tight lines around his mouth, in the ticking of the muscle in his right cheek, in the hard set of his jaw. Despite her sweater and the heat of the fire, Maria shivered beneath his icy blue glare. Not because she feared Steven would harm her physically. She didn’t. She knew he would sooner cut off his arm than hurt any woman. But the contempt she read in his eyes struck her like a blow.

“It’s a simple question, Maria. I’d appreciate an answer.”

Maria’s head swam. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wrapped her arms around herself and fought to steady herself, searched for the right words to explain.

“Look at me, Maria,” he commanded in a voice so soft she had to strain to hear it. “Were you even planning to tell me about the baby? Or did you think I didn’t deserve to know I was going to be a father?”

She snapped her eyes open and forced herself to meet his gaze. “Of course you deserved to know,” she told him. “And I was going to tell you.”

“When?” he demanded. “After the baby was born? What were you going to do? Send me a birth announcement and tack on a note saying ‘By the way, congratulations, you’re a daddy’?”

Maria wanted to cringe beneath the contempt in his voice, but she forced herself to face his anger. After all, she reasoned, he was entitled to be furious with her. She’d had months to get used to the idea of becoming a parent while Steven…Steven had been blindsided by the news because she’d kept silent. “No. I was going to tell you before the baby was born. I swear I was,” she said, hoping he believed her. “I never intended to keep it from you, Steven. I’ve been wanting to tell you for months now—almost from the moment I found out that I was pregnant.”

“Then why didn’t you?” he asked, anguish in his voice, in his eyes. “Dammit, Maria! How could you lay in my arms, make love with me and tell me that you love me, and then keep something like this a secret?”

Maria ached for him. She ached for herself and for all the pain they had both suffered during the past few months. Lifting her hand, she touched his cheek. “I didn’t want to keep it a secret. I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”

Some of the fierceness in his expression eased at her words. He turned his mouth into her palm and kissed it. At the gentle touch of his lips, Maria’s heart swelled with love for him. Oh, how she loved him, she thought. She stared at his handsome face—the sharp angles of his jaw, the proud chin, the sweep of dark lashes that covered his too-serious blue eyes. In the firelight, his black hair gleamed like polished onyx and she had to quell the urge to brush back that errant strand that always fell across his forehead. Instead she somehow found her voice and said, “I’m sorry. I never meant for you to find out about the baby this way. I had hoped…I had planned—”

“Shh. It doesn’t matter now,” he said and reached for her other hand. His eyes never left hers as he brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them again. “All that matters is that we’re together now, and that we’re going to have a baby. A baby,” he repeated, his voice filled with awe. “I still can’t believe it. We’re actually going to have a baby.”

“Steven—”

He silenced her with a kiss. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through these past months? All the things that went through my head when you left that note and disappeared. I was so angry with your family. I was sure that they had found out about us and forced you to go away.”

“No, they didn’t,” she began. “It wasn’t them. It was me. It was all my idea.”

“Yeah. I figured that out after talking to Karen last week. But there was a part of me that didn’t want to believe you could do that—just up and leave me the way you did, not after what we’d shared.”

Guilt tugged at her. “It wasn’t easy. I…I didn’t know what else to do. I thought if I could get away, that if I had some time alone to think…”

“That’s what Karen said. But it didn’t stop me from worrying that maybe you’d had second thoughts about us, that you’d begun to believe the things your family had been saying about the Contis sabotaging Baronessa Gelati. I thought…I was afraid that you hated me. That you’d regretted what we’d shared.” He swallowed and continued, “I was afraid that you’d regretted loving me.”

“No,” she told him honestly, and unable to stop herself, she brought her palm to his cheek. When he once again turned his face and kissed her palm, she didn’t withdraw. Regret loving him? No, she thought. It would have been easier for her to not take her next breath than to ever regret falling in love with him. Growing up with both her grandparents and parents as examples of what real love was all about, she knew what she felt for Steven was real. In fact, she doubted that she’d even had a choice when it came to loving him. She simply did—had almost from the moment they’d first met. And while she regretted the problems and the heartache their love would cause their families, she couldn’t ever regret the love they’d found with each other. How could she when the child growing inside was a result of that love? Their baby was a beautiful miracle, a gift she would always cherish, just as she would always cherish having been loved by Steven. “I’ve never regretted loving you. Never. Not even for a minute.”

“Thank God,” he said, and as though her reply had opened some floodgate of emotion inside him, he pulled her into his arms.

After so many months without him, Maria reveled in the feel of Steven’s arms around her again. This time when he lowered his head to kiss her, she made no attempt to deny him or herself.

His mouth closed over her own. Steven kissed her—tenderly, passionately, hungrily. When his tongue tested the seam of her lips, Maria didn’t hesitate. She opened to him. Tongues explored, danced, mated. He kissed her and kissed her, each thrust of his tongue fueling the need for more. By the time he tore his mouth free and groaned, Maria felt dazed. Awash in emotion and sensations, she clutched at his shoulders, fearful her knees would buckle at any moment. Then his clever, oh-so-clever mouth began to kiss the shell of her ear. Tiny, nibbling kisses that made her heart race and her blood heat. When he nipped the lobe of her ear, Maria sucked in a breath.

It was a mistake, she realized as she breathed in his familiar scent. Suddenly her senses were flooded with the smell of him. He smelled of soap and fresh snow and the forest. And Maria couldn’t help but think of how many times during the past few months those scents had triggered memories of him, had made her ache to be in his arms again like this.

When Steven began planting a string of kisses along her jawline, Maria knew she was playing a dangerous game. She wanted Steven desperately, loved him just as fiercely. Yet there could be no future for them. She knew it, had known it almost from the start. Not even the baby growing inside her could change the impossibility of them sharing a life together. To allow Steven to continue would only make him believe otherwise. And to do so would be wrong, she reasoned. “Steven,” she began, knowing she had to tell him to stop.

But then he kissed her neck and the protest died on her lips. Tipping her head back, she gave him the access he sought. As he kissed her throat, the hint of whiskers along his jaw felt like fine sandpaper brushing against her softer skin. The sensation was erotic, seductive. When Steven flicked his tongue across her sensitized flesh, Maria nearly whimpered. She curled her fingers into his sweater, marveled at the feel of hard muscle and sinew beneath the soft cashmere.

“So sweet, so incredibly sweet,” he murmured, his breath a warm rush against her fevered skin. Her heart pounded so wildly in her chest, Maria feared it would burst at any second.

When Steven nudged aside the V-neckline of her sweater and shirt to kiss her collarbone, her breath hitched. Sliding her fingers through his hair, she pulled his head up and brought his mouth back to her own.

This time when their lips met, it was Maria who groaned as he nipped at her lower lip and took control of the kiss. Maria’s head swam beneath the onslaught of his mouth and tongue, the feel of his hands sliding down her back, over her hips. When he cupped her bottom and lifted her, pressed her against his arousal, Maria trembled.

“God, Maria, I’ve missed you so much,” he said as he continued to pepper her face with kisses.

“And I’ve missed you,” she admitted, lost in the feel of his mouth and hands on her after so long without him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby…that I ran away like I did….”

“I told you, it doesn’t matter,” he said, cutting off her apology with another earth-shattering kiss.

When he lifted his head, Maria could have sworn the world had tilted beneath her feet. In an effort to steady herself, she looped her arms around his neck and only then did she realize that Steven was carrying her toward the couch.

Gently he placed her atop the cushions and sat beside her. She’d barely had time to register what had happened when he cupped her face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and said, “The only thing that matters is that we’re together now. I swear, I won’t let anything ever keep us apart again.”

His words were like a dash of cold water, instantly sobering Maria. “Steven,” she began.

“I swear to you, Maria, I’m going to be the very best husband and father,” he continued.

“Steven, don’t,” she said and struggled to sit up.

“What is it? Is it the baby? Did I hurt you or the baby?”

“No. No, the baby’s fine. I’m fine,” she assured him.

“Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

“We need to slow down. Everything is happening too fast,” Maria told him.

Steven’s gaze slid from her face to her belly. “Sweetheart, from where I’m sitting, I think we need to move fast,” he said, a note of humor in his voice. “When’s the baby due?”

“In February,” Maria said. “On Valentine’s Day, February fourteenth.” She waited several heartbeats for him to acknowledge the ominous date.

He didn’t. Instead, he said, “Then we don’t have much time to plan the wedding. I’ll be honest, I’d just as soon we elope right now with just Magdalene and Louis as our witnesses.”

“Steven, please.”

“But if you’ve got your heart set on a big wedding, I understand,” he said, ignoring her protest. “I have only one condition, that we get married before Christmas. I want us to start the New Year as husband and wife.”

“Stop it!”

He jerked back as though she’d slapped him, and narrowed his eyes. “Stop what, Maria?”

“Stop trying to railroad me into marrying you.”

Steven stood, but continued to stare down at her with accusing eyes. “Is that what I’m doing? Railroading you into a marriage you don’t want?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer. Instead, he continued, “I love you, and I thought you loved me.”

“I do love you,” she told him, feeling frustrated and confused. It was the truth. She did love Steven with all of her heart.

He knelt down beside her and captured her hands in his. “Then marry me, make a life with me and our baby.”

She tugged her hands free and looked away. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“I know it’s not that difficult either. Most people who love each other and are expecting a baby get married.”

“We’re not most people,” she reminded him. “I’m a Barone and you’re a Conti.”

“And our baby will be both,” Steven pointed out as he stood once more.

“I know that. It’s just—”

“We can make this work, Maria,” he insisted. “I know we can. We’ll get married and you can move into my apartment. Or we can buy a house and—”

“Don’t,” Maria cried out, unable to bear having Steven describe a life for the two of them that she knew in her heart wasn’t possible. Tears stung her eyes. And she immediately blamed those threatening tears on her body’s hormones—hormones that had been out of whack since she’d become pregnant. Because she was afraid if she admitted the truth—that she wanted the life with him that Steven had described—she would weaken. And she couldn’t afford to weaken now. Not when there was so much at stake. Deciding she needed distance in order to clear her senses and think rationally, Maria said, “I think it would be best if you were to leave now.”

“Forget it. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then you’ll have to excuse me,” she said primly.

But Steven didn’t move a muscle. He simply stood there, looking tall and daunting as he stared down at her.

“Please get out of my way,” she said firmly, coolly.

His expression hardened and for a moment she thought he would refuse. Then he stepped aside and offered her his hand. Maria hesitated, then admitting that her added bulk from the baby made getting up more difficult, she accepted his help. But once on her feet, she quickly pulled away and hurried past Steven. She walked over to the fireplace. As she stared into the flames, she searched for the right words to make him understand that she couldn’t marry him. A marriage between the two of them would never work. How could it when their union would rip apart both of their families? Worse, she feared they would only end up hating each other.

“If you think giving me that ice-princess routine is going to make me give up, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did. I’m not leaving here until I get the answer I want, Maria.”

And she wanted to give him the answer he wanted. Because it was what she wanted, too. Only she couldn’t do that. Not with the threat of the curse hanging over her and their unborn child. The idea of something happening to her own baby sent a surge of panic through her, and before she could stop herself, a sob escaped her lips.

“Damn,” Steven muttered. He could just kick himself for causing Maria to cry. And although he couldn’t see her face, he’d bet his last dollar that Maria was already regretting that outburst of tears. He knew her well enough to know that she would consider those tears a show of weakness. But then, Maria had always been her own harshest critic, he thought. Probably the result of having a family that expected far too much of her.

It simply wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be the one designated to carry on Angelica Barone’s legacy? Why couldn’t someone else run the popular Baronessa Gelateria in Boston’s North End? Why did it have to be Maria? There certainly were enough Barones to share the load. But no, for some reason, they all dumped it on Maria’s shoulders. And as far as he was concerned, the entire lot of them had taken advantage of her for far too long. It simply had to stop.

He stared at Maria’s slender shoulders, could only imagine the enormous weight of responsibility they carried. Not only had she been burdened with the problems of running the gelateria and trying to live up to everyone’s expectations of her, but she’d also had to face the pregnancy alone. He should have realized what was wrong long before now, he told himself as his own guilt escalated. But instead of helping her and relieving some of that stress she was under, he’d only managed to add to it. The realization made him feel ten times worse.

Regretful for having upset her, Steven moved behind Maria and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “You know I’d sooner cut off my arm than hurt you. I hate knowing that I’ve made you cry.”

“You didn’t. Make me cry, I mean. I’m not crying,” she fibbed even as she swiped at her eyes.

“Well, that’s a relief.” Hoping to lighten the mood, he quipped, “Because when a fellow tells a girl he loves her and asks her to marry him, tears aren’t exactly the reaction he’s hoping for.”

“Oh, Steven, I’m sorry,” she said, tears once again in her voice.

Steven sighed. Since his attempt at levity hadn’t worked, he tried honesty instead. “Is the idea of marrying me so awful?”

“No,” she said and he didn’t miss the hand swiping at her eyes again.

“Then why the tears?”

“I’ve got something in my eye. Probably just an eyelash,” she offered in explanation.

“Want me to take a look?” he asked, hoping to get her to turn around and look at him.

“Thanks, but it’s out now. I…I’m all right.”

“You don’t sound all right. You sound sad, and I don’t ever remember you being sad—not even when things were a mess.” Even amidst the disaster of the new flavor launch in February when she’d had plenty of reason to cry, she hadn’t shed a single tear. Nor had she given any indication of feeling defeated—not like she was doing now.

She let out an audible breath. “It’s my hormones. The pregnancy has them all messed up.”

“I think we both know it’s more than just hormones at work here.” When she didn’t respond, Steven squeezed her shoulders. “Talk to me, Maria. Whatever it is, I promise we’ll work it out.”

“We can’t work it out.”

“How do you know if you won’t at least talk to me?” he asked. When she still remained silent, he pleaded, “I love you. Please, don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out.”

“Aren’t you? What do you call running away from Boston the way you did?”

“I didn’t run away.” She straightened her spine and stepped away from his touch. Picking up the fire poker, she prodded at the logs in the grate. “I told you, I needed to get away. I wanted some time to think, to figure out what I should do about the baby.”

Steven froze at her remark. Stunned he took a moment to find his voice. “You can’t mean that you considered…that you even thought for a minute about getting rid of…”

“No!” She whipped her gaze from the fire over to him. “How could you even think such a thing?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just that for a minute I thought…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I thought. I obviously wasn’t thinking straight.”