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The Knight Of Gwynne, Vol. 2
“And to what an alternative are we now reduced!” continued Lady Eleanor, who, with all the selfishness of sorrow, loved to linger on the painful theme, – “to rejoice at separation, and to feel relieved in thinking that he is gone to peril life itself rather than endure the lingering death of a broken heart!”
“Yes, young lady,” said Miss Daly, turning towards Helen, “such are the recompenses of the most endearing affection, such the penalties of loving. Would you not almost say, ‘It were better to be such as I am, unloved, uncared for, without one to share a joy or grief with?’ I half think so myself,” added she, suddenly rising from her chair. “I can almost persuade myself that this load of life is easier borne when all its pressure is one’s own.”
“You are not about to leave us?” said Lady Eleanor, taking her hand affectionately.
“Yes,” replied she, smiling sadly, “when my heart has disburdened itself of an immediate care, I become but sorry company, and sometimes think aloud. How fortunate I have no secrets! – Bring my pony to the door,” said she, as Tate answered the summons of the bell.
“But wait at least for daylight,” said Helen, eagerly; “the storm is increasing, and the night is dark and starless. Remember what a road you ‘ve come.”
“I often ride at this hour and with no better weather,” said she, adjusting the folds of her habit; “and as to the road, Puck knows it too well to wander from the track, daylight or dark.”
“For our sakes, I entreat you not to venture till morning,” cried Lady Eleanor.
“I could not if I would,” said Miss Daly, steadily. “By to-morrow, at noon, I have an engagement at some distance hence, and much to arrange in the mean time. Pray do not ask me again. I cannot bear to refuse you, even in such a trifle; and as to me or my safety, waste not another thought about it. They who have so little to live for are wondrous secure from accident.”
“When shall we see you? Soon, I hope and trust!” exclaimed both mother and daughter together.
Miss Daly shook her head; then added hastily, “I never promise anything. I was a great castle-builder once, but time has cured me of the habit, and I do not like, even by a pledge, to forestall the morrow. Farewell, Lady Eleanor. It is better to see but little of me, and think the better, than grow weary of my waywardness on nearer acquaintance. Adieu, Miss Darcy; I am glad to have seen you; don’t forget me.” So saying, she pressed Helen’s hands to her lips; but ere she let them drop, she squeezed a letter into her grasp; the moment after, she was gone.
“Oh, then, I remember her the beauty wonst!” said Tate, as he closed the door, after peering out for some seconds into the dark night: “and proud she was too, – riding a white Arabian, with two servants in scarlet liveries after her! The world has quare changes; but hers is the greatest ever I knew!”
CHAPTER XIV. A TÊTE-À-TÊTE AND A LETTER
Long after Miss Daly’s departure, Lady Eleanor continued to discuss the eccentricity of her manners and the wilful abruptness of her address; for although deeply sensible and grateful for her kindness, she dwelt on every’ peculiarity of her appearance with a pertinacity that more than once surprised her daughter. Helen, indeed, was very far from being a patient listener, not only because she was more tolerant in her estimate of their visitor, but because she was eager to read the letter so secretly intrusted to her hands. A dread of some unknown calamity, some sad tidings of her father or Lionel, was ever uppermost in her thoughts, nor could she banish the impression that Miss Daly’s visit had another and very different object than that which she alleged to Lady Eleanor.
It may be reckoned among the well-known contrarieties of life, that our friends are never more disposed to be long-winded and discursive than at the very time we would give the world to be alone and to ourselves. With a most malicious intensity they seem to select that moment for indulging in all those speculations by which people while away the weary hours. In such a mood was Lady Eleanor Darcy. Not only did she canvass and criticise Miss Daly, as she appeared before them, but went off into long rambling reminiscences of all she had formerly heard about her; for although they had never met before, Miss Daly had been the reigning Belle of the West before her own arrival in Ireland.
“She must have been handsome, Helen, don’t you think so?” said she, at the end of a long enumeration of the various eccentricities imputed to her.
“I should say very handsome,” replied Helen.
“Scarcely feminine enough, perhaps,” resumed Lady Eleanor, – “the features too bold, the expression too decided; but this may have been the fault of a social tone, which required everything in exaggeration, and would tolerate nothing save in excess.”
“Yes, mamma,” said Helen, vaguely assenting to a remark she had not attended to.
“I never fancied that style, either in beauty or in manner,” continued Lady Eleanor. “It wants, in the first place, the great element of pleasing; it is not natural.”
“No, mamma!” rejoined Helen, mechanically as before.
“Besides,” continued Lady Eleanor, gratified at her daughter’s ready assent, “for one person to whom these mannerisms are becoming, there are at least a hundred slavish imitators ready to adopt without taste, and follow without discrimination. Now, Miss Daly was the fashion once. Who can say to what heresies she has given origin, to what absurdities in dress, in manner, and in bearing?”
Helen smiled, and nodded an acquiescence without knowing to what.
“There is one evil attendant on all this,” said Lady Eleanor, who, with the merciless ingenuity of a thorough poser, went on ratiocinating from her own thoughts; “one can rarely rely upon even the kindest intentions of people of this sort, so often are their best offices but mere passing, fitful impulses; don’t you think so?”
“Yes, mamma,” said Helen, roused by this sudden appeal to a more than usual acquiescence, while totally ignorant as to what.
“Then, they have seldom any discretion, even when they mean well.”
“No, mamma.”
“While they expect the most implicit compliance on your part with every scheme they have devised for your benefit.”
“Very true,” chimed in Helen, who assented at random.
“Sad alternative,” sighed Lady Eleanor, “between such rash friendship and the lukewarm kindness of our courtly cousin.”
“I think not!” said Helen, who fancied she was still following the current of her mother’s reflections.
“Indeed!” exclaimed Lady Eleanor, iu astonishment, while she looked at her daughter for an explanation.
“I quite agree with you, mamma,” cried Helen, blushing as she spoke, for she was suddenly recalled to herself.
“The more fortunate is the acquiescence, my dear,” said Lady Eleanor, dryly, “since it seems perfectly instinctive. I find, Helen, you have not been a very attentive listener, and as I conclude I must have been a very unamusing companion, I’ll even say good-night; nay, my sweet child, it is late enough not to seek excuse for weariness – goodnight.”
Helen blushed deeply; dissimulation was a very difficult task to her, and for a moment seemed more than her strength could bear. She had resolved to place the letter in her mother’s hands, when the thought flashed across her, that if its contents might occasion any sudden or severe shock, she would never forgive herself. This mental struggle, brief as it was, brought the tears to her eyes, – an emotion Lady Eleanor attributed to a different cause, as she said, —
“You do not suppose, my dearest Helen, that I am angry because your thoughts took a pleasanter path than my owu.”
“Oh, no, – no!” cried Helen, eagerly, “I know you are not. It is my own – ” She stopped; another word would have revealed everything, and with an affectionate embrace she hurried from the room.
“Poor child!” exclaimed her mother; “the courage that sustained us both so long is beginning to fail her now; and yet I feel as if our trials were but commencing.”
While Lady Eleanor dwelt on these sad thoughts, Helen sat beside her bed weeping bitterly.
“How shall I bear up,” thought she, “if deprived of that confiding trust a mother’s love has ever supplied, – without one to counsel or direct me?”
Half fearing to open the letter, lest all her resolves should be altered by its contents, she remained a long time balancing one difficulty against another. Wearied and undecided, she turned at last to the letter itself, as if for advice. It was a strange hand, and addressed to “Miss Daly.” With trembling fingers she unfolded the paper, and read the writer’s name, – “Richard Forester.”
A flood of grateful tears burst forth as she read the words; a sense of relief from impending calamity stole over her mind, while she said, “Thank God! my father and Lionel – ” She could say no more, for sobbing choked her utterance. The emotions, if violent, passed rapidly off; and as she wiped away her tears, a smile of hope lit up her features. At any other time she would have speculated long and carefully over the causes which made Forester correspond with Miss Daly, and by what right she herself should be intrusted with his letter. Now her thoughts were hurried along too rapidly for reflection. The vague dread of misfortune, so suddenly removed, suggested a sense of gratitude that thrilled through her heart like joy. In such a frame of mind she read the following lines: —
At Sea. My dear Miss Daly, – I cannot thank you enough for your letter, so full of kindness, of encouragement, and of hope. How much I stand in need of them! I have strictly followed every portion of your counsel, – would that I could tell you as successfully as implicitly! The address of this letter will, however, be the shortest reply to that question. I write these lines from the “Hermione” frigate. Yes, I am a volunteer in the expedition to the Mediterranean; and only think who is my commanding officer, – the Knight himself. I had enrolled myself under the name of Conway; but when called up on deck this morning for inspection, such was my surprise on seeing the Knight of Gwynne, or, as he is now called, Colonel Darcy, I almost betrayed myself. Fortunately, however, I escaped unnoticed, – a circumstance I believe I owe chiefly to the fact that several young men of family are also volunteers, so that my position attracted no unusual attention. It was a most anxious moment for me as the colonel came down the line, addressing a word here and there as he went; he stopped within one of me, and spoke for some seconds to a young fellow whose appearance indicated delicate health. How full of gentleness and benevolence were his words! But when he turned and fixed his eyes on me, my heart beat so quick, my head grew so dizzy, I thought I should have fainted. He remained at least half a minute in front of me, and then asked the orderly for my name – “Conway! Conway!” repeated he more than once. “A very old name. I hope you’ll do it credit, sir,” added he, and moved on, – how much to my relief I need not say. What a strange rencontre! Often as I wonder at the singular necessity that has made me a private soldier, all my astonishment is lost in thinking of the Knight of Gwynne’s presence amongst us; and yet he looks the soldier even as much as he did the country gentleman when I first saw him, and, strangely too, seems younger and more active than before. To see him here, chatting with the officers under his command, moving about, taking interest in everything that goes on, who would suspect the change of fortune that has befallen him! Not a vestige of discontent, not even a passing look of impatience on his handsome features; and yet, with this example before me, and the consciousness that my altered condition is nothing in comparison with his, I am low-spirited and void of hope! But a few weeks ago I would have thought myself the luckiest fellow breathing, if told that I were to serve under Colonel Darcy, and now I feel ashamed and abashed, and dread a recognition every time I see him. In good truth, I cannot forget the presumption that led me first to his acquaintance. My mind dwells on that unhappy mission to the West, and its consequences. My foolish vanity in supposing that I, a mere boy, uninformed, and without reflection, should be able to influence a man so much my superior in every way! and this, bad as it is, is the most favorable view of my conduct, for I dare not recall the dishonorable means by which I was to buy his support. Then, I think of my heedless and disreputable quarrel. What motives and what actions in the eyes of her whose affection I sought! How worthily am I punished for my presumption!
I told you that I strictly followed the advice of your last letter. Immediately on receiving it I wrote a few lines to my mother, entreating her permission to see and speak with her, and expressing an earnest hope that our interview would end in restoring me to the place I so long enjoyed in her affection. A very formal note, appointing the following day, was all the reply.
On arriving at Berkeley Square, and entering the drawing-room, I found, to my great astonishment, I will not say more, that a gentleman, a stranger to me, was already there, seated at the fire, opposite my mother, and with that easy air that bespoke his visit was not merely accidental, but a matter of pre-arrangement.
Whatever my looks might have conveyed, I know not, but I was not given the opportunity for a more explicit inquiry, when my mother, in her stateliest of manners, arose and said, —
“Richard, I wish to present you to my esteemed friend, Lord Netherby; a gentleman to whose kindness you are indebted for any favorable construction I can put upon your folly, and who has induced me to receive you here to-day.”
“If I knew, madam, that such influence had been necessary, I should have hesitated before I laid myself under so deep an obligation to his Lordship, to whose name and merits I confess myself a stranger.”
“I am but too happy, Captain Forester,” interposed the Earl, “if any little interest I possess in Lady Wallincourt’s esteem enables me to contribute to your reconciliation. I know the great delicacy of an interference, in a case like the present, and how officious and impertinent the most respectful suggestions must appear, when offered by one who can lay no claim, at least to your good opinion.”
A very significant emphasis on the word “your,” a look towards my mother, and a very meaning smile from her in reply, at once revealed to me what, till then, I had not suspected, – that his Lordship meditated a deeper influence over her Ladyship’s heart than the mere reconciliation of a truant son to her esteem.
“I believe, my Lord,” said I, hastily, and I fear not without some anger, – “I believe I should not have dared to decline your kind influence in my behalf, had I suspected the terms on which you would exert it. I really was not aware before that you possessed, so fully, her Ladyship’s confidence.”
“If you read the morning papers, Captain Forester,” said he, with the blandest smile, “you could scarcely avoid learning that my presence here is neither an intrusion nor an impertinence.”
“My dear mother,” cried I, forgetting all, save the long-continued grief by which my father’s memory was hallowed, “is this really the case?”
“I can forgive your astonishment,” replied she, with a look of anger, “that the qualities you hold so highly in your esteem should have met favor from one so placed and gifted as the Earl of Netherby.”
“Nay, madam; on the contrary. My difficulty is to think how any new proffer of attachment could find reception in a heart I fondly thought closed against such appeals; too full of its own memories of the past to profane the recollection by – ”
I hesitated and stopped. Another moment, and I would have uttered a word which for worlds I would not have spoken.
My mother became suddenly pale as marble, and lay back in her chair as if faint and sick. His Lordship adjusted his neckcloth and his watch-chain, and walked towards the window, with an air of as much awkwardness as so very courtly a personage could exhibit.
“You see, my Lord,” said my mother, – and her voice trembled at every word, – “you see, I was right: I told you how much this interview would agitate and distress me.”
“But it need not, madam,” interposed I; “or, at all events, it may be rendered very brief. I sought an opportunity of speaking to you, in the hope that whatever impressions you may have received of my conduct in Ireland were either exaggerated or unjust; that I might convince you, however I may have erred in prudence or judgment, I have transgressed neither in honor nor good faith.”
“Vindications,” said my mother, “are very weak things in the face of direct facts. Did you, or did you not, resign your appointment on the viceroy’s staff – I stop not to ask with what scant courtesy – that you might be free to rove over the country, on some knight-errant absurdity? Did you, after having one disreputable quarrel in the same neighborhood, again involve yourself and your name in an affair with a notorious mob-orator and disturber, and thus become the ‘celebrity’ of the newspapers for at least a fortnight? And lastly, when I hoped, by absence from England, and foreign service, to erase the memory of these follies – to give them no harsher name, – did you not refuse the appointment, and without advice or permission sell out of the army altogether?”
“Without adverting to the motives, madam, you have so kindly attributed to me, I beg to say ‘yes’ to all your questions. I am no longer an officer in his Majesty’s service.”
“Nor any longer a member of my family, sir,” said my mother, passionately; “at least so far as the will rests with me. A gentleman so very independent in his principles is doubtless not less so in his circumstances. You are entitled to five thousand pounds only, by your father’s will: this, if I mistake not, you have received and spent many a day ago. I will not advert to what my original intentions in your behalf were; they are recorded, however, in this paper, which you, my Lord, have read.” Here her Ladyship drew forth a document, like a law-paper, while the Earl bowed a deep acquiescence, and muttered something like – “Very generous and noble-minded, indeed!”
“Yes, sir,” resumed my mother, “I had no other thought or object, save in establishing you in a position suitable to your name and family; you have thought fit to oppose my wishes on every point, and here I end the vain struggle.” So saying, she tore the paper in pieces, and threw the fragments into the fire.
A deep silence ensued, which I, for many reasons, had no inducement to break. The Earl coughed and hemmed three or four times, as though endeavoring to hit upon something that might relieve the general embarrassment, but my mother was again the first to speak.
“I have no doubt, sir, you have determined on some future career. I am not indiscreet enough to inquire what; but that you may not enter upon it quite unprovided, I have settled upon you the sum of four hundred pounds yearly. Do not mistake me, nor suppose that this act proceeds from any lingering hope on my part that you will attempt to retrace your false steps, and recover the lost place in my affection. I am too well acquainted with the family gift of determination, as it is flatteringly styled, to think so. You owe this consideration entirely to the kind interference of the Earl of Netherby. Nay, my Lord, it is but fair that you should have any merit the act confers, where you have incurred all the responsibility.”
“I will relieve his Lordship of both,” said I. “I beg to decline your Ladyship’s generosity and his Lordship’s kindness, with the self-same feeling of respect.”
“My dear Captain Forester, wait one moment,” said Lord Netherby, taking my arm. “Let me speak to you, even for a few moments.”
“You mistake him, my Lord,” said my mother, with a scornful smile, while she arose to leave the room, – “you mistake him much.”
“Pray hear me out,” said Lord Netherby, taking my hand in both his own. “It is no time, nor a case for any rash resolves,” whispered he; “Lady Wallincourt has been misinformed, – her mind has been warped by stories of one kind or other. Go to her, explain fully and openly everything.”
“Her Ladyship is gone, my Lord,” exclaimed I, stopping him.
Yes, she had left the room while we were yet speaking. This was my last adieu from my mother! I remember little more, though Lord Netherby detained me still some time, and spoke with much kindness; indeed, throughout, his conduct was graceful and good-natured.
Why should I weary you longer? Why speak of the long dreary night, and the longer day that followed this scene, – swayed by different impulses, – now hoping and fearing alternately, – not daring to seek counsel from my friends, because I well knew what worldly advice would be given, – I was wretched. In the very depth of my despondency, like a ray of sunlight darting through some crevice of a prisoner’s cell, came your own words to me, “Be a soldier in more than garb or name, be one in the generous ardor of a bold career. Let it be your boast that you started fairly in the race, and so distanced your competitors.” I caught at the suggestion with avidity. I was no more depressed or down-hearted. I felt as if, throwing off my load of care, a better and a brighter day was about to break for me; the same evening I left London for Plymouth, and became a volunteer.
Before concluding these lines, I would ask why you tell me no more of Miss Darcy than that “she is well, and, the reverse of her fortune considered, in spirits.” Am I to learn no more than that? Will you not say if my name is ever spoken by or before her? How am I remembered? Has time-have my changed fortunes softened her stern determination towards me? Would that I could know this, – would that I could divine what may lurk in her heart of compassionate pity for one who resigned all for her love, and lost! With all my gratitude for your kindness, when I well-nigh believed none remained in the world for me,
I am, yours in sincere affection,
Richard Forester.
I forgot to ask if you can read one strange mystery of this business, at least so the words seem to imply. Lord Netherby said, when endeavoring to dissuade me from leaving my mother’s house, “Remember, Captain Forester, that Lady Wallincourt’s prejudices regarding your Irish friends have something stronger than mere caprice to strengthen them. You must not ask her to forget as well as forgive, all at once.” Can you interpret this riddle for me? for although at the time it made little impression, it recurs to my mind now twenty times a day.
Here concluded Forester’s letter. A single line in pencil was written at the foot, and signed “M. D. “: “I am a bad prophet, or the volunteer will turn out better than the aide-de-camp.”
CHAPTER XV. A DINNER AT COM HEFFERNAN’S
When the Union was carried, and the new order of affairs in Ireland assumed an appearance of permanence, a general feeling of discontent began to exhibit itself in every class in the capital. The patriots saw themselves neglected by the Government, without having reaped in popularity a recompense for their independence. The mercantile interest perceived, even already, the falling off in trade from the removal of a wealthy aristocracy; and the supporters of the Minister, or such few as still lingered in Dublin, began to suspect how much higher terms they might have exacted for their adhesion, had they only anticipated the immensity of the sacrifice to which they contributed.
Save that comparatively small number who had bargained for English peerages and English rank, and had thereby bartered their nationality, none were satisfied.
Even the moderate men – that intelligent fraction who believe that no changes are fraught with one half the good or evil their advocates or opponents imagine – even they were disappointed on finding that the incorporation of the Irish Parliament with that of England was the chief element of the new measure, and no more intimate or solid Union contemplated. The shrewd men of every party saw not only how difficult would be the future government of the country, but that the critical moment was come which should decide into whose hands the chief influence would fall. Among these speculators on the future, Mr. Heffernan held a prominent place. No man knew better the secret machinery of office, none had seen more of that game, half fair, half foul, by which an administration is sustained. He knew, moreover, the character and capability of every public man in Ireland, had been privy to their waverings and hesitations, and even their bargains with the Crown; he knew where gratified ambition had rendered a new peer indifferent to a future temptation, and also where abortive negotiations had sowed the seeds of a lingering disaffection.