Say it with Diamonds...this Christmas

The effect at night was erotic and sensual.

When in his bedroom, Nick didn’t pretend to be anything but what he was: a very sensual man.

Which made his actions last night after the party almost incomprehensible.

Why, when he’d taken Chloe home, hadn’t he gone inside and made mad, passionate love to her? She’d been all over him like a rash at the door. Normally, he loved it when she was sexually aggressive, loved it that he didn’t have to be gentle with her. At any other time, he would have pushed her inside and had her up against the wall.

Instead her rapacious mouth had repelled him for some reason, and he found himself telling her he had a headache. A headache, for pity’s sake!

Chloe had been surprised, but reasonably understanding, sending him off with a kiss on the cheek and the advice to have a good night’s sleep.

‘You won’t get off so easily tomorrow night,’ she’d added as he walked back to his car.

Nick hadn’t gone straight home. He’d driven round and round, trying to work out why he wasn’t in Chloe’s bed right at that moment, sating his desires to a degree where he wouldn’t be capable of feeling any lust for anyone!

Then, when he’d finally come home, he’d fallen into a fitful sleep, his dreams filled with disturbingly erotic images involving the bane of his life. In one dream, Sarah had come down to the Christmas lunch wearing that minute bikini that had tormented him all those years ago. In another, she had been decorating that damned Christmas tree in the nude. In yet another, she’d been in his arms and he was kissing her the way he’d wanted to kiss her yesterday.

He’d woken from that dream incredibly aroused.

When Flora had sent him into Sarah’s bedroom to wake her this morning, he’d stared down at her sleeping form for longer than was decent, the dungeon door in his mind well and truly open. Then, when she’d waltzed down to present-giving in that sexy little nightie, he’d been consumed with a desire so strong it had taken every ounce of his will-power to keep himself in check.

Her giving him that exquisite and very expensive miniature golf set had tormented him further, giving rise to the provocative possibility that, despite her new boyfriend, she still secretly fancied him. But her rather offhand words that her present was a parting gift of gratitude had propelled Nick back to cold, hard reality.

Sarah was well and truly over her schoolgirl crush on him. He’d lost his chance with her, if he’d ever had one.

It was this last thought that was bothering him the most.

‘You should be glad she’s over you,’ he muttered as he marched towards the bathroom, stripping off his T-shirt as he went. ‘Now all you have to do is concentrate on getting through today without behaving badly.’

Nick wrenched off his jeans, before walking over to snap on the water in the shower.

‘No sarcastic remarks,’ he lectured himself as he stepped under the ice-cold spray. ‘No telling Derek you bought his girlfriend thirty-thousand-dollar earrings. And definitely no looking, no matter what she wears!’

CHAPTER SEVEN

‘LET’S go, Sarah.’

Nick’s loud command—called through her bedroom door—was accompanied by an impatient knocking.

Sarah’s bedside clock showed it was three minutes to twelve, two minutes after Nick had asked her to be downstairs.

‘Coming,’ Sarah called back after one last nervous glance in her dressing-table mirror.

She did look good: the red and white sun-dress clung to her shapely but slender body, and her choice of hairstyle—she’d put it up—showed off her new diamond earrings.

It wasn’t Sarah’s sexy appearance that had the butterflies gathering in her stomach. It was this silly charade with Derek. Nick was going to spot something strange about their relationship, she felt sure of it!

But it was too late now. Derek was on his way, having texted her a while back to say the taxi he’d ordered had just arrived and he should be at her place by twelve.

Sarah pulled her scarlet-glossed mouth back into what she hoped passed for a happy smile and hurried across the room, movement setting her earrings swinging. When she wrenched open the door, Nick glanced up from where he was leaning with his back against the gallery railing. He still looked tired, she thought, but very handsome in fawn chinos and a brown and cream striped short-sleeved shirt.

‘I’m ready,’ she said breezily.

Nick’s dark eyes swept over her from head to toe, his top lip curling slightly, as it did sometimes. ‘Yes, but ready for what?’

His sarcasm rankled, as always.

Sarah planted her hands on her hips, just above where her skirt flared out saucily. ‘It wouldn’t hurt you to say something nice to me for a change.’

His eyebrows lifted, as though she’d surprised him with her stance. ‘That’s a matter of opinion. But if you insist …’ His eyes travelled over her again, this time much more slowly.

A huge lump formed in her throat when his gaze lingered on her breasts before lifting to her mouth, then up to her eyes. If she’d been hoping to see desire in his detailed survey, however, she was doomed to disappointment.

‘You look utterly gorgeous today, Sarah,’ he said at last, but in a rather dry fashion. ‘Derek is a very lucky man.’

Sarah was tempted to stamp her foot in frustration when the doorbell rang, saving her from her uncharacteristic temper tantrum.

‘That’ll probably be Derek now,’ she tossed off instead, and bolted for the stairs, eager to answer the door without Nick being too close a witness to their greeting.

It wasn’t Derek at the door, but an attractive, thirty-something brunette wearing a wrap-around electric-blue dress and a smile that would have cut glass.

Sarah knew immediately who it was.

‘Sarah, I presume,’ the woman said archly after a swift once-over that made her ice-blue eyes even icier. ‘I’m Chloe, Nick’s girlfriend.’

Of course you are, Sarah thought tartly. Nick’s girlfriends might look different from one another—this one had a very short, chic hairdo, plus a much curvier body than the others. But underneath their varied physical features always lay a hard-nosed piece with no genuine warmth or niceness.

Sarah despised Chloe on sight.

‘Hi there,’ she managed politely before spinning round to see where Nick was. No way was she going to be caught having to make small talk with the bitch du jour.

Nick was still coming down the stairs, his expression none too happy.

‘Chloe’s here,’ she called out to him.

For a split-second, Sarah could have sworn he had no idea who she was talking about. But then the penny dropped and he hurried to the door, his disgruntled face breaking into a smile.

‘Happy Christmas, darling,’ Chloe gushed as she threw herself into Nick’s arms.

Sarah turned away so that she didn’t have to watch them kiss, her stomach contracting when she heard Chloe whisper something about giving him his main Christmas present later that night.

It was extremely fortunate that Derek chose that moment to arrive, Sarah’s nervous anticipation over their charade was obliterated in the face of her need to have someone by her side on her side.

‘Derek, darling!’ she gushed in much the same way Chloe had. ‘Merry Christmas. Oh, it’s so good to see you.’ She let out a mental sigh of relief when she took in the way he was dressed. She’d been a bit worried he might wear a pink Paisley shirt, or something equally suspect. But no, he looked very attractive and sportily masculine in knee-length cargo shorts and a chest-hugging sky-blue top that complimented his fair colouring and showed off his great body.

‘And you too, babe,’ Derek returned, startling Sarah with his choice of endearment, not to mention his leaning over the rather large present he was holding to kiss her full on the mouth, taking his time.

‘You look incredible,’ he said on straightening. ‘Doesn’t she look incredible, everyone?’

Neither Nick nor Chloe said a word.

Sarah flushed with embarrassment, but Derek was undeterred.

‘I hope this fits, babe,’ he said, then pressed the present into her hands. ‘I saw it in a shop window and I thought straight away that it was you to a T.’

Sarah didn’t know whether to be pleased, or afraid of the contents. Derek had a wicked streak in him that was proving to be as entertaining as it was worrying.

‘I … I’ll open it a bit later,’ she hedged. ‘I have to help Nick greet our guests. Which reminds me. Nick, this is Derek,’ she said by way of a formal introduction. ‘Derek, this is Nick, my guardian.’

‘No kidding,’ Derek said as he shook Nick’s hand. ‘I got the impression you’d be older.’

Sarah tried not to laugh. But it was rather funny, seeing the expression on Nick’s face.

‘And I’m Chloe,’ Chloe said with a sickeningly sweet smile. ‘Nick’s girlfriend.’

It never ceased to amaze Sarah how females like Chloe possessed split personalities—a super-sweet one for dealing with the male sex, a super-sour one, for their own.

‘Why don’t you go open your Christmas pressie in private?’ Chloe suggested to Sarah with pretend saccharin-sweetness. ‘I can help Nick answer the door, can’t I, darling? I mean, all of the guests—other than Derek, of course—are Nick’s friends.’

‘What a good idea!’ Sarah said, jumping at the chance to remove herself from Chloe’s irritating presence. Of all Nick’s girlfriends, she disliked this one the most, the conniving, two-faced cow!

‘No, not down there,’ Derek whispered when she grabbed his elbow and began steering him across the foyer towards the sunken family room. ‘Take me upstairs. To your bedroom.’

‘My bedroom!’ she squawked, grinding to a halt.

‘Ssh. Yes, your bedroom,’ he went on softly. ‘Don’t ask why, just do it. And don’t look back at either of those two. Just giggle, and then skip up those stairs with me.’

‘I never giggle.’ She hated females who giggled.

‘You’re going to today. That is, if you don’t want to wonder for the rest of your life what it would be like to spend a night in Mr Dreamy’s bed.’

Sarah finally saw what he was up to. ‘This won’t work, Derek, trust me.’

‘No, you trust me. I know what I’m doing here, Sarah. I’m a master at the art of sexual jealousy. All gays are.’

‘Ssh. Don’t say that out loud.’

‘Then do as you’re told.’

Sarah refused to giggle. But she did laugh, then let Derek usher her with somewhat indecent speed up the stairs.

‘Which room is yours?’ he asked once they reached the landing.

‘The third one on the right.’

‘Nice room,’ he said on closing the door behind them.

‘Nick thinks it’s too girlie. He also thinks I’m too thin now. He still doesn’t fancy me, Derek. You’re wasting your time trying to make him jealous.’

Derek smiled. ‘That’s not the impression I got when I kissed you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I kept my eyes open a fraction and watched your guardian’s reaction over your shoulder.’

‘And?’

‘He hated it. And he hated me. I could feel his hatred hitting me in waves. Then, when he shook my hand he tried to crush my fingers.’

Sarah shook her head as she walked over and placed Derek’s present on her pink quilt. ‘I don’t believe you,’ she said as she sat down next to it.

‘Why not?’

‘Because I … Because he … Just because!’ she snapped.

‘You know what, Sarah? I think you’re afraid.’

‘Afraid of what?’

‘Of success. You’ve lived with this fantasy for far too long. It’s time to either let it go, or try to make it real. Which is it to be?’

Sarah thought of lying alone in this bed tonight whilst Nick cavorted with Chloe in his bed. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut for several seconds whilst she made up her mind. Then she opened them and looked into Derek’s patiently waiting face.

‘So what’s the plan of action?’

Derek grinned. ‘Stay right where we are, for starters. What time is lunch served?’

‘Actually it’s not served as such. It’s a buffet. Nick usually tries to get everyone heading for the food at one o’clock.’

Derek glanced at his watch. ‘In that case we’ll make a reappearance downstairs at around five to one.’

Sarah frowned. ‘We’re going to stay up here till then?’

‘Yep.’

‘You do realise what Nick is going to think we’re doing.’

‘Yep.’

‘He’ll think I’m a slut!’

‘If I’m right about him, he’ll have trouble thinking at all. Now open your present. And make sure, when you come downstairs, you tell him what I gave you.’

CHAPTER EIGHT

NICK tried to hide his growing agitation, but where the hell was Sarah and what in God’s name was she doing? It didn’t take that long to open one miserable present. Damn it all, it was getting on for one o’clock.

The obvious answer just killed him: she was up in her bedroom, doing unspeakable things with that lounge lizard she was madly in love with and who had obviously pulled the wool over her eyes.

If ever Nick had seen a fortune-hunter it was darling Derek, with his fake smile, his fake blonde hair and his equally fake suntan!

Unfortunately his muscles didn’t look fake, a fact that irritated the death out of Nick. He’d never thought Sarah was the sort of girl whose head could be turned by such superficial attractions. But clearly she was. She even seemed to like being called babe.

Didn’t she know darling Derek probably called every one of his girlfriends babe? Saved him having to remember their names, since it was obvious he didn’t have enough brains to make his head ache.

‘Nick, Jeremy’s talking to you,’ Chloe said somewhat waspishly.

‘What? Oh, sorry.’ Nick dragged his mind away from his mental vitriol to focus back on the man talking to him.

Jeremy was his production company’s location manager. Quite brilliant at his job, and gayer than gay.

‘What were you saying, Jerry?’

Jeremy gave him a sunny smile over the rim of his martini. ‘Just that I’m super-grateful to you for inviting moi for lunch today. Christmas is the one time of year when gays are severely reminded that lots of people are still homophobic. We try telling ourselves that Sydney is a very sophisticated city these days, but it’s not as sophisticated as it pretends to be.’

‘Really?’ Nick said, his eyes returning to the foyer through which Sarah would have to come. If she ever came back downstairs, that was.

‘You’d think the world had more important things to worry about than what people do in their private lives, wouldn’t you?’ Jeremy rattled on. ‘I mean … what business is it of others who or what you have sex with, as long as you’re not hurting anyone?’

But what if you were? came Nick’s savage thought. What if having sex with someone—right at this moment—was tearing someone else’s insides out?

‘Well said, Jeremy,’ his partner complimented.

Nick’s eyes swung to Kelvin, who was a tall, skinny fellow of indeterminate age.

Nick was about to open his mouth and make some possibly rude remark—he suspected he was on the verge of behaving very badly indeed—when the movement he’d been waiting for caught the corner of his eye.

Nick’s guts crunched down hard as he watched the object of his agitation waltz across the foyer with a smug-looking Derek hot on her heels.

That Sarah’s hair was down—and tousled—did not escape Nick. Neither did her flushed cheeks.

‘If you’ll excuse me,’ he said abruptly, ‘there’s someone I must speak to. Chloe, could you show our guests out to the terrace? The lunch is a buffet, but there are place cards on the table.’

Nick ignored the flash of annoyance that zoomed across Chloe’s face, just before he spun away and marched across the family room to confront Sarah. What he thought he was going to say he had no idea. But he needed to say something; anything to give vent to the storm of emotion building to a head within him.

‘Sarah,’ he bit out when he was close enough to the lovebirds.

Her eyes jerked round towards him.

‘I need to talk to you. Now. In private.’

‘But we were just going out to the terrace for lunch,’ she returned, oh, so sweetly.

He gritted his teeth as his furious gaze fastened on her mouth, where her red lipstick was an even glossier red than it had been before. Courtesy, no doubt, of having had to be retouched.

But the coup de grâce to his already teetering control was noticing that she’d removed his diamond earrings.

‘I’m sure you won’t mind not eating for a further five minutes,’ he snapped, his stomach turning over at the thought of why she wasn’t still wearing his Christmas gift.

Her shrug seemed carefree, but he detected a smidgeon of worry in her eyes.

‘I won’t be long, darling,’ she said to her lover with a softly apologetic stroke on his arm. ‘The buffet’s all set up on the terrace out there. You go ahead and I’ll join you shortly.’

‘Sure thing, babe. I’ll choose for you. And get you some of that white wine you like.’

‘Would you? That would be wonderful.’

The schmaltzy exchange almost made Nick sick to his stomach. The moment Derek departed he grabbed Sarah by the elbow and steered her back out to the foyer, then along the front hallway towards his study.

When she tried to wrench her arm free, his hand tightened its hold.

‘Is this caveman stuff really necessary?’ she protested.

Nick said nothing, just pushed her into his study, then banged the door shut behind them. When he glowered over her, she did look a little shamefaced.

‘OK, you’re mad at me for not coming downstairs earlier and helping you with your guests,’ she said. ‘That’s it, isn’t it?’

‘Not only was your behaviour rude, Sarah, it was embarrassing.’

‘Embarrassing! I don’t see how. I mean, it’s not as though I know any of the guests this year. Flora told me beforehand that all of them are from your production company.’

‘That’s no excuse for ignoring them,’ he lashed out. ‘They have heard me speak of you. They expected to meet you, but you were nowhere to be seen. On Christmas Day, of all days! It would have been polite of you to be in the family room, offering drinks and making conversation. Instead, you were upstairs in your bedroom, having sex with that obsequious boyfriend of yours. I would have thought you had more pride, and a better sense of decorum.’

Her cheeks went bright red. ‘Derek is not obsequious. And I was not having sex with him.’

Nick’s laugh was both cold and contemptuous. ‘Your appearance rather contradicts that.’

Her mouth fell open, then snapped shut. ‘What Derek and I do in the privacy of my room is none of your business. Just as it’s none of my business what you’ll be doing with Chloe tonight in your bedroom. We’re both adults now, Nick. I’ve been an adult for quite some time, in case you haven’t noticed. In six weeks’ time, I’ll be twenty-five and you’ll no longer have any say in my life whatsoever. I will be able to do whatever I like in this house because you won’t be in it!’

‘And no one will be more pleased than me,’ he threw back at her, his frustration making him reckless. ‘Do you think I’ve enjoyed being your bloody guardian? Do you think it’s been fun, trying to keep you safe from all the sleazebags? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me, keeping my own hands off you?’

There! He’d said it. It was out in the open now. His dark secret, his guilty obsession.

Nick hated the shock in her face. But it was a relief, in a way.

‘You never guessed?’ he said, his soul suddenly weary.

She shook her head. ‘You … you never said anything.’

Nick’s smile was wry. ‘I owed it to Ray to do what he asked me to do.’

‘He asked you to keep away from me?’

‘He asked me to protect you from the scoundrels of this world.’

If anything, this statement shocked her more than his admitting his desire.

‘But you’re not a scoundrel!’

‘Trust me, Sarah. I’m a scoundrel of the first order. Always was. Always will be. Believe me, if you were any other man’s daughter I would have seduced you when I had the chance. Because I did have a chance with you, didn’t I? When you were sixteen.’

‘You mean when I kissed you that time? You actually wanted me back then?’

‘That’s putting it mildly. Don’t imagine for a single moment that I was worried about your age. Such things have never mattered to me. I just couldn’t bear the thought that the one man in the world whom I liked and respected might look at me with disgust. Ray’s words of praise and acceptance meant more to me than my intense but inconvenient desire for you.’

‘I … I see …’

Nick doubted it. How could someone as basically sweet and naïve as Sarah understand the dark and damaged undercurrents of his character?

‘Go on. Go back to your Derek,’ he commanded.

‘He … he’s not my Derek.’

‘What? What do you mean by that?’

‘Derek’s not my lover. He’s just a friend. He’s also gay.’

‘Gay!’ Nick repeated, his mind whirling as he tried to make sense of Sarah’s confession.

‘You’ve just been brutally honest with me, so I’m going to be brutally honest with you. I brought Derek to today’s lunch so that I wouldn’t be alone. And hopefully, to make you jealous.’

Nick stared at her.

Sarah looked as if she was about to cry. ‘I’ve had a crush on you for as long as I can remember,’ she blurted out.

Nick grimaced. He hated that word, crush. It sound so schoolgirlish. Of course, Sarah was still very young, compared to him. He’d been old from the time he was thirteen.

‘You still have a chance with me, Nick,’ she went on, her green eyes glistening. ‘If you want it …’

If he wanted it. Dear God, if she only knew.

But what he wanted bore no resemblance to what she wanted.

‘I’m no good for you, Sarah,’ he bit out, surprising himself that he could find the will-power to resist what she was foolishly offering him.

‘Why not?’ she demanded to know.

‘You know why not. I hid nothing from you when you were a youngster. I told you more than once: I can’t fall in love.’

‘I’m not asking you to.’

He glowered at her. ‘Don’t you dare lower yourself in that fashion. Don’t you dare! I know you, Sarah. You want love and marriage and children. You do not want some decadent affair with a man of little conscience and even less moral fibre.’

‘So you’re knocking me back again. Is that the bottom line?’

‘I already have a girlfriend,’ he said coldly. ‘I don’t need you.’

The hurt in her eyes showed Nick that he’d done the right thing. Sarah’s crush would have deepened into love if he slept with her. It had happened to him before, which was why he always stuck to partners like Chloe these days.

But that didn’t mean he felt good about rejecting Sarah. His body was already regretting it.

‘You’ll find Mr Right one day,’ he said stiffly.

‘Oh, don’t be so bloody pompous,’ she snapped at him. ‘If I wanted Mr Right, do you think I’d have just propositioned you? But that’s all right, there are plenty of other good-looking studs around. Once I inherit all Daddy’s lovely money, I don’t think I’ll be wanting for lovers, do you? Now I’m going to go eat my Christmas lunch. You can please yourself with what you do!’

CHAPTER NINE

‘DOES that face mean good news or bad news?’ Derek asked after Sarah had dragged the chair out next to him, and plonked herself down.

‘Don’t talk to me just yet. I’m so mad I could spit.’

‘Oooh. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall. Here, have some wine. It’s a very good Chardonnay from the Hunter Valley.’

‘I don’t give a damn what it is as long as it’s alcohol.’

Sarah lifted the glass to her lips and swallowed deep and hard.