Jack Hinton: The Guardsman

Under Joe’s auspices – for he had established himself as my own man – tea and rashers made their appearance. My clothes were unpacked and put by; and as he placed my dressing-gown and slippers in readiness before the fire, I could not help observing the servant-like alacrity of his manner, perfect in everything, save in his habit of singing to himself as he went, which I can’t say, however, that I disliked, and certainly never dreamed of checking. Having written a few lines to Mr. Burke, expressing my desire for a few minutes’ interview the following morning, I despatched the note, and prepared for bed.

I had often listened with apathy to the wise saws of people who, never having felt either hunger or fatigue, are so fond of pronouncing a glowing eulogium on such luxuries, when the period of their gratification has arrived; but, I confess, as I lay down that night in bed, and drew the clothes around me, I began to believe that they had underrated the pleasures they spoke of. The house clock ticked pleasantly in the room without; the cheerful turf-fire threw its mild red light across the room; the sounds from the street were those of happy voices and merry laughter, and when I ceased to hear them I had fallen into a sound and peaceful sleep.

It was after about a dozen efforts, in which I had gone through all the usual formula on such occasions – rubbing my eyes, stretching, and even pinching myself – before I could awake on the following morning. I felt somewhat stiffened from the unaccustomed exertions of the day before, but, somehow, my spirits were unusually high, and my heart in its very lightest mood. I looked about me through the little room, where all was order, neatness, and propriety. My clothes carefully brushed and folded, my boots resplendent in their blacking, stood basking before the fire; even my hat, placed gently on one side, with my gloves carefully flattened, were laid out in true valet fashion. The door into my little sitting-room lay open, and I could mark the neat and comfortable preparations for my breakfast, while at a little distance from the table, and in an attitude of patient attention, stood poor Joe himself, who, with a napkin across his arm, was quietly waiting the moment of my awaking.

I know not if my reader will have any sympathy with the confession; but I own I have always felt a higher degree of satisfaction from the unbought and homely courtesy chance has thrown in my way, than from the more practised and dearly-paid-for attentions of the most disciplined household. There is something nattering in the personal devotion which seems to spring from pure good-will, that insensibly raises one in his own esteem. In some such reflection as this was I lost, when the door of my outer room was opened, and a voice inquired if Mr. Hinton stopped there.

‘Yes, sir,’ replied Joe; ‘he is in bed and asleep.’

‘Ah! it is you, Joe?’ replied the other. ‘So you are turned footman, I see. If the master be like the man, it ought to be a shrewd establishment.’

‘No,’ replied Joe carelessly; ‘he’s not very like anything down in these parts, for he appears to be a gentleman.’

‘Tell him I am here, and be d – d to you,’ was the indignant reply, as the speaker threw himself into his chair and stirred the fire with his foot.

Suspecting at once who my visitor was, I motioned to Joe to leave the room, and proceeded to dress myself with all despatch. During the operation, however, my friend without manifested several symptoms of impatience: now walking the room with rapid strides, as he whistled a quick step; now beating the bars of the grate with a poker, and occasionally performing that popular war-dance, ‘The Devil’s Tattoo,’ with his knuckles upon the table. At length his endurance seemed pushed to its limit, and he knocked sharply at the door, calling out at the same moment —

‘I say, sir, time’s up, if you please.’

The next moment I was before him.

Mr. Ulick Burke – for I need not say it was he – was a well-looking man, of about eight-and-twenty or thirty years of age. Although his height was below the middle size, he was powerfully and strongly made; his features would have been handsome, were it not for a certain expression of vulgar suspicion that played about the eyes, giving him a sidelong look when he spoke; this, and the loss of two front teeth from a fall, disfigured a face originally pleasing. His whiskers were large, bushy, and meeting beneath his chin. As to his dress, it was in character with his calling – a green coat cut round in jockey fashion, over which he wore a white ‘bang-up,’ as it was called, in one pocket of which was carelessly thrust a lash-whip; a belcher handkerchief, knotted loosely about his neck, buckskin breeches, reaching far down upon the leg, and top-boots completed his costume. I had almost forgotten a hat, perhaps the most characteristic thing of all. This, which once had been white, was now, by stress of time and weather, of a dirty drab colour, its crown dinged in several places, and the leaf jagged and broken, bespoke the hard usage to which it was subjected. While speaking, he held it firmly clutched in his ungloved hand, and from time to time struck it against his thigh, with an energy of manner that seemed habitual His manner was a mixture of timid embarrassment and vulgar assurance, feeling his way, as it were, with one, while he forgot himself with the other. With certain remnants of the class he originally belonged to, he had associated the low habitudes and slang phraseology of his daily associates, making it difficult for one, at first sight, to discover to which order he belonged. In the language of his companions, Click Burke ‘could be a gentleman when he pleased it.’

How often have we heard this phrase, and with what a fatal mistake is it generally applied! He who can be a gentleman when he pleases, never pleases to be anything else. Circumstances may, and do, every day in life, throw men of cultivated minds and refined habits into the society of their inferiors; but while, with the tact and readiness that is their especial prerogative, they make themselves welcome among those with whom they have few, if any, sympathies in common, yet never by any accident do they derogate from that high standard that makes them gentlemen. So, on the other hand, the man of vulgar tastes and coarse propensities may simulate, if he be able, the outward habitudes of society, speaking with practised intonation and bowing with well-studied grace; yet is he no more a gentleman in his thought or feeling than is the tinselled actor, who struts the board, the monarch his costume would bespeak him. This being the ‘gentleman when he likes’ is but the mere performance of the character. It has all the smell of the orange-peel and the footlights about it, and never can be mistaken by any one who knows the world.

But to come back to Mr. Burke. Having eyed me for a second or two, with a look of mingled distrust and impertinence, he unfolded my note, which he held beneath his fingers, and said —

‘I received this from you last night, Mr. – ’

‘Hinton,’ said I, assisting him.

‘Mr. Hinton,’ repeated he slowly.

‘Won’t you be seated?’ said I, pointing to a chair, and taking one myself.

He nodded familiarly, and placing himself on the window-sill, with one foot upon a chair, resumed —

‘It’s about O’Gradys business I suppose you’ve come down here. The Captain has treated me very ill.’

‘You are quite right,’ said I coolly, ‘in guessing the object of my visit; but I must also let you know, that in any observations you make concerning Captain O’Grady, they are made to a friend, who will no more permit his name to be slightingly treated than his own.’

‘Of course,’ pronounced with a smile of the most insulting coolness, was the only reply. ‘That, however, is not the matter in hand: your friend, the Captain, never condescended to answer my letter.’

‘He only received it a few days ago.’

‘Why isn’t he here himself? Is a gentleman-rider to be treated like a common jockey that’s paid for his race?’

I confess the distinction was too subtle for me, but I said nothing in reply.

‘I don’t even know where the horse is, nor if he is here at all. Will you call that handsome treatment Mr. Hinton?’

‘One thing I am quite sure of, Mr. Burke – Captain O’Grady is incapable of anything unworthy or unbecoming a gentleman; the haste of his departure for foreign service may have prevented him observing certain matters of etiquette towards you, but he has commissioned me to accept your terms. The horse is here, or will be here to-night; and I trust nothing will interrupt the good understanding that has hitherto subsisted between you.’

‘And will he take up the writ?’ ‘He will,’ said I firmly.

‘He must have a heavy book on the race.’ ‘Nearly a thousand pounds.’

‘I’m sorry for it for his sake,’ was the cool reply, ‘for he’ll lose his money.’

‘Indeed!’ said I; ‘I understand that you thought well of his horse, and that with your riding – ’

‘Ay; but I won’t ride for him.’

‘You won’t ride! – not on your own terms?’

‘No; not even on my own terms. Don’t be putting yourself into a passion, Mr. Hinton – you’ve come down to a country where that never does any good; we settle all our little matters here in a social, pleasant way of our own. But, I repeat it, I won’t ride for your friend; so you may withdraw his horse as soon as you like; except,’ added he, with a most contemptuous sneer, ‘you have a fancy for riding him yourself.’

Resolving that whatever course I should follow I would at least keep my temper for the present, I assumed as much calmness as I could command, and said —

‘And what is there against O’Gradys horse?’

‘A chestnut mare of Tom Molloy’s, that can beat him over any country. The rest are withdrawn; so that I’ll have a “ride over” for my pains.’

‘Then you ride for Mr. Molloy?’ said I.

‘You’ve guessed it,’ replied he with a wink, as throwing his hat carelessly on one side of his head he gave me an insolent nod and lounged out of the room.

I need not say that my breakfast appetite was not improved by Mr. Burke’s visit; in fact, never was a man more embarrassed than I was. Independent of the loss of his money, I knew how poor Phil would suffer from the duplicity of the transaction; and in my sorrow for his sake I could not help accusing myself of ill-management in the matter. Had I been more conciliating or more blunt – had I bullied, or bid higher, perhaps a different result might have followed. Alas! in all my calculations, I knew little or nothing of him with whom I had to deal. Puzzled and perplexed, uncertain how to act – now resolving on one course, now deciding on the opposite, I paced my little room for above an hour, the only conviction I could come to being the unhappy choice that poor O’Grady had made when he selected me for his negotiator.

The town clock struck twelve. I remembered suddenly that was the hour when the arrangements for the race were to be ratified; and without a thought of what course I should pursue, what plan I should adopt, I took my hat and sallied forth.

The main street of the little town was crowded with people, most of them of that class which, in Irish phrase, goes by the appellation of squireen – a species of human lurcher, without any of the good properties of either class from which it derives its origin, but abounding in the bad traits of both. They lounged along, followed by pointers and wire-haired greyhounds, their hands stuck in their coat-pockets, and their hats set well back on their heads. Following in the train of this respectable cortege, I reached the market-house, upon the steps of which several ‘sporting gentlemen’ of a higher order were assembled. Elbowing my way with some difficulty through these, I mounted a dirty and sandy stair to a large room, usually employed by the magistrates for their weekly sessions; here, at a long table, sat the race committee, an imposing display of books, pens, and papers before them. A short little man, with a powdered head, and a certain wheezing chuckle when he spoke that voluntarily suggested the thought of apoplexy, seemed to be the president of the meeting.

The room was so crowded with persons of every class that I could with difficulty catch what was going forward. I looked anxiously round to see if I could not recognise some friend or acquaintance, but every face was strange to me. The only one I had ever seen before was Mr. Burke himself, who with his back to the fire was edifying a select circle of his friends by what I discovered, from the laughter of his auditory, was a narrative of his visit to myself. The recital must have owed something to his ingenuity in telling, for indeed the gentlemen seemed convulsed with mirth; and when Mr. Burke concluded, it was plain to see that he stood several feet higher in the estimation of hie acquaintances.

‘Silence!’ wheezed the little man with the white head: ‘it is a quarter past twelve o’clock, and I’ll not wait any longer.’

‘Read the list, Maurice,’ cried some one. ‘As it is only “a walk over,” you needn’t lose any time.’

‘Here, then, No. 1 – Captain Fortescue’s Tramp.’ ‘Withdrawn,’ said a voice in the crowd. ‘No. 2 – Harry Studdard’s Devil-may-care.’

‘Paid forfeit,’ cried another.

‘No. 3 – Sir George O’Brien’s Billy-the-bowl.’ ‘Gone home again,’ was the answer. ‘No. 4 – Tom Molloy’s Cathleen.’

‘All right!’ shouted Mr. Burke, from the fireplace» ‘Who rides?’ asked the president.

‘Ulick!’ repeated half-a-dozen voices together.

‘Eleven stone eight,’ said the little man.

‘And a pound for the martingale,’ chimed in Mr. Burke.

‘Well, I believe that’s all. No; there’s another horse-Captain O’Grady’s Moddiridderoo.’

‘Scratch him out with the rest,’ said Mr. Burke.

‘No!’ said I, from the back of the room.

The word seemed electric; every eye was turned towards the quarter where I stood; and as I moved forward towards the table the crowd receded to permit my passage.

‘Are you on the part of Mr. O’Grady, sir?’ said the little man, with a polite smile.

I bowed an affirmative.

‘He does not withdraw his horse, then?’ said he.

‘No,’ said I again.

‘But you are aware, sir, that Mr. Burke is going to ride for my friend, Mr. Molloy, here. Are you prepared with another gentleman?’

I nodded shortly.’

‘His name, may I ask?’ continued he. ‘Mr. Hinton.’

By this time Mr. Burke, attracted by the colloquy, had approached the table, and, stooping down, whispered some words in the president’s ear.

‘You will forgive me, I’m sure,’ said the latter, addressing me, ‘if I ask, as the name is unknown to me, if this be a gentleman-rider?’

The blood rushed to my face and temples. I knew at once from whom this insult proceeded. It was no time, however, to notice it, so I simply replied —

‘Mr. Hinton is an officer of the Guards, an aide-de-camp to the Lord Lieutenant, and I beg leave respectfully to present him to you.’

The obsequious civility exhibited by the party as I pronounced these few words were an ample amende for what I had suffered a few minutes before. Meanwhile, Mr. Burke had resumed his place at the fire, once more surrounded by his admiring satellites.

Being accommodated with a chair at the table, I proceeded to read over and sign the usual papers, by which I bound myself to abide by the regulations of the course, and conform in all things to the decision of the stewards. Scarcely had I concluded, when Mr. Burke called out —

‘Who’ll take eight to one on the race?’

Not a word was spoken in reply.

‘Who’ll take fifty to five?’ cried he again.

‘I will,’ said a voice from the door.

‘Who is that takes my bet? What is his name?’ ‘Tom Loftus, P.P. of Murranakilty.’

‘A better fellow nor an honester couldn’t do it, said the president.

‘Book your bet, sir,’ said Mr. Burke; ‘or if it is equally convenient for you, you can pay it at present.’

‘I never make a memorandum of such trifles,’ said the priest; ‘but I’ll stake the money in some decent man’s hands.’

A roar of laughter followed the priest’s proposition, than which nothing could be less to Mr. Burke’s taste. This time, however, he was in funds; and while the good father disengaged his five-pound note from the folds of a black leather pocket-book as large as a portfolio, his antagonist threw a fifty on the table, with an air of swaggering importance. I turned now to shake hands with my friend; but to my surprise and astonishment he gave me a look of cold and impressive import, that showed me at once he did not wish to be recognised, and the next moment left the room. My business there was also concluded, and having promised to be forthcoming the following day at two o’clock, I bowed to the chairman and withdrew.

CHAPTER XXII. A MOONLIGHT CANTER

I was not quite satisfied with the good priest for his having cut me, no matter what his reasons. I was not overmuch pleased with the tone of the whole meeting itself, and certainly I was very little satisfied with the part I had myself taken therein; for as cooler judgment succeeded to hot excitement, I perceived in what a mesh of difficulties I had involved myself, and how a momentary flush of passionate indignation had carried me away beyond the bounds of reason and sense, to undertake what but half an hour previously I should have shrunk from with shame, and the very thought of which now filled me with apprehension and dread – not indeed as to the consequences to myself, physically considered, for most willingly would I have compounded for a fractured limb, or even two, to escape the ridicule I was almost certain of incurring. This it was which I could not bear, and my amore propre recoiled from the thought of being a laughing-stock to the underbred and ill-born horde that would assemble to witness me.

When I arrived at the inn poor Joe was there awaiting me; he had been down to see the horse, which for precaution’s sake was kept at a mill a little distance from the town, and of whose heart and condition he spoke in glowing terms.

‘Och! he is a raal beauty – a little thick in fat about the crest, but they say he always trains fleshy, and his legs are as clean as a whistle. Sorra bit, but it will give Mr. Ulick as much as he can do to ride him to-morrow. I know by the way he turns his eyes round to you in the stable he’s in the devil’s temper.’

‘But it is not Mr. Burke, Joe – I am going to ride him.’

‘You are going to do it! You! Oh! by the powers! Mr. Ulick wasn’t far out when he said the master was as mad as the man. “Tell me your company,” says the old proverb; and you see there it is. What comes of it? If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas; and that’s the fruits of travelling with a fool.’

I was in no temper for badinage at the moment, and replied to the poor fellow in a somewhat harsher tone than I should have used; and as he left the room without speaking, I felt ashamed and angry with myself for thus banishing the only one that seemed to feel an interest in my fortunes.

I sat down to my dinner discontented and unhappy. But a few hours previous, and I awoke high in heart and hope; and now without any adverse stroke of fortune, without any of those casualties of fate which come on us unlooked for and unthought of, but simply by the un-guided exercise of a passionate temperament, I found myself surrounded by embarrassments and environed by difficulties, without one friend to counsel or advise me.

Yes – I could not conceal it from myself – my determination to ride the steeplechase was the mere outbreak of passion. The taunting insolence of Burke had stung me to adopt a course which I had neither previously considered, nor, if suggested by another, could ever have consented to. True, I was what could be called a good horseman. In the two seasons I had spent in Leicestershire, on a visit to a relative, I had acquitted myself with credit and character; but a light weight splendidly mounted on a trained hunter, over his accustomed country, has no parallel with the same individual upon a horse he has never crossed, over a country he has never seen. These and a hundred similar considerations came rushing on me now when it was too late. However, the thing was done, and there being no possible way of undoing it, there was but one road, the straightforward, to follow in the case. Alas! half of our philosophy in difficulties consists in shutting our eyes firmly against consequences, and, tête baissée, rushing headlong at the future. Though few may be found willing to admit that the bull in the china-shop is the model of their prudence, I freely own it was mine, and that I made up my mind to ride the horse with the unspeakable name as long as he would permit me to ride him, at everything, over everything, or through everything before me. This conclusion at length come to, I began to feel more easy in my mind. Like the felon that feels there is no chance of a reprieve, I could look my fate more steadily in the face.

I had no great appetite for my dinner, but I sat over an excellent bottle of port, sipping and sipping, each glass I swallowed lending a rose tint to the future. The second bottle had just been placed on the table before me, when O’Gradys groom came in to receive his instructions. He had heard nothing of my resolution to ride, and certainly looked aghast when I announced it to him. By this time, however, I had combated my own fears, and I was not going to permit his to terrify me. Affecting the easy nonchalance of that excellent type Mr. Ulick Burke, I thrust my hands into my coat-pockets, and standing with my back to the fire, began questioning him about the horse. Confound it! there’s no man so hard to humbug as an Irishman, but if he be a groom, I pronounce the thing impossible. The fellow saw through me in a moment; and as he sipped the glass of wine I had filled out for him, he approached me confidentially, while he said in a low tone —

‘Did you say you ‘d ride him?’

‘Yes, to be sure I did.’

‘You did! well, well! there’s no helping it, since you said it. There’s only one thing to be done’ – he looked cautiously about the room, lest any one should overhear him. ‘There’s but one thing I know of – let him throw you at the first leap. Mind me now, just leave it to himself; hell give you no trouble in life; and all you have to do is to choose the soft side. It’s not your fault after that, you know, for I needn’t tell you he won’t be caught before night.’

I could not help laughing at this new receipt for riding a steeplechase, although I confess it did not raise my courage regarding the task before me.

‘But what does he do?’ said I – ‘this infernal beast; what trick has he?’

‘It isn’t one, but a hundred that he has. First of all, it isn’t so easy to get on his back, for he is as handy with his hind foot as a fiddler; and if you are not mighty quick in mounting, he ‘ll strike you down with it. Then, when you are up, maybe he won’t move at all, but stand with his forelegs out, his head down, and his eyes turned back just like a picture, hitting his flanks between times with his long tail You may coax him, pet him, and pat him – ‘faith, you might as well be tickling a milestone; for it’s laughing at you he ‘ll be all the time. Maybe at last you ‘ll get tired, and touch him with the spur. Hurroo! begorra, you ‘ll get it then!’

‘Why – what happens then?’

‘What happens, is it? Maybe it’s your neck is broke, or your thigh, or your collar-bone at least. He ‘ll give you a straight plunge up in the air, about ten feet high, throw his head forward till he either pulls the reins out of your hands or lifts you out of the saddle, and at the same moment he’ll give you a blow with his hind-quarters in the small of the back. Och, murther!’ said he, placing both hands upon his loins, and writhing as he spoke, ‘it’ll be six weeks to-morrow since he made one of them buck-leaps with me, and I never walked straight since. But that is not all.’

‘Come, come,’ said I impatiently, ‘this is all nonsense; he only wants a man with a little pluck to bully him out of all this.’

As I said these valorous words I own that to my own heart I didn’t exactly correspond to the person I described; but as the bottle of port was now finished, I set forth with my companion to pay my first visit to this redoubted animal.

The mill where the stable lay was about a mile from the town; but the night was a fine moonlight one, with not an air of wind stirring, and the walk delightful When we reached the little stream that turned the mill, over which a plank was thrown as a bridge, we perceived that a country lad was walking a pair of saddle-horses backwards and forwards near the spot. The suspicion of some trickery, some tampering with the horse, at once crossed me; and I hinted as much to the groom.