A Christian Directory, Part 2: Christian Economics

Arg. XVII. The story of Cornelius, Acts x. proveth that he performed family worship: for observe, 1. That, ver. 2, he is said to be "a devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God always: " and ver. 30, he saith, "At the ninth hour I prayed in my house: " and ver. 24, "he called together his kindred and near friends: " so ver. 11, 14, "Thou and all thy house shall he saved: " so that in ver. 2, fearing God comprehendeth prayer, and is usually put for all God's worship; therefore when he is said to fear God with all his house, it is included that he worshipped God with all his house: and that he used to do it conjunctly with them is implied, in his gathering together his kindred and friends when Peter came, not mentioning the calling together his household, as being usual and supposed. And when it is said that he prayed ἐν τῷ οἴκῳ, in his house, it may signify his household, as in Scripture the word is often taken. However, the circumstances show that he did it.

Arg. XVIII. From 1 Tim. iii. 4, 5, 12, "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection, with all gravity: for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God: let the deacons be the husbands of one wife; ruling their children and their own houses well." Here mark, that it is such a ruling of their houses, as is of the same nature as the ruling of the church, mutatis mutandis, and that is, a training them up in the worship of God, and guiding them therein; for the apostle maketh the defect of the one, to be a sure discovery of their unfitness for the other. Now to rule the church, is to teach and guide them as their mouth in prayer and praises unto God, as well as to oversee their lives; therefore it is such a ruling of their houses as is prerequisite to prove them fit.

They that must so rule well over their own houses, as may partly prove them not unfit to rule the church, must rule them by holy instructions, and guiding them as their mouth in the worship of God. But those mentioned 1 Tim. iii. must so rule their houses; therefore, &c.

The pastors' ruling of the church doth most consist in going before them, and guiding them in God's worship; therefore so doth the ruling of their own houses, which is made a trying qualification of their fitness hereunto. Though yet it reach not so high, nor to so many things, and the conclusion be not affirmative, He that ruleth his own house well is fit to rule the church of God; but negative, He that ruleth not his own house well, is not fit to rule the church of God; but that is because, 1. This is a lower degree of ruling, which will not prove him fit for a higher. 2. And it is but one qualification of many that are requisite. Yet it is apparent that some degree of aptitude is proved hence, and that from a similitude of the things. When Paul compareth ruling the house to ruling the church, he cannot be thought to take them to be wholly heterogeneous: he would never have said, He that cannot rule an army, or regiment, or a city, how shall he rule the church of God? I conclude therefore that this text doth show that it is the duty of masters of families, to rule well their own families in the right worshipping of God, mutatis mutandis, as ministers must rule the church.

Arg. XIX. If families have special necessity of family prayer conjunctly, which cannot be supplied otherwise; then it is God's will that family prayer should be in use: but families have such necessities; therefore, &c. The consequent needs no proof; the antecedent is proved by instance. Families have family necessities, which are larger than to be confined to a closet, and yet more private than to be brought still into the assemblies of the church. 1. There are many worldly occasions about their callings and relations, which it is fit for them to mention among themselves, but unfit to mention before all the congregation. 2. There are many distempers in the hearts and lives of the members of the families, and many miscarriages, and disagreements, which must be taken up at home, and which prayer must do much to cure, and yet are not fit to be brought to the ears of the church assemblies. 3. And if it were fit to mention them all in public, yet the number of such cases would be so great, as would overwhelm the minister, and confound the public worship; nay, one half of them in most churches could not be mentioned. 4. And such cases are of ordinary occurrence, and therefore would ordinarily have all these inconveniencies.

And yet there are many such cases that are not fit to be confined to our secret prayers each one by himself; because, 1. They often so sin together, as maketh it fit that they confess and lament it together. 2. And some mercies which they receive together, it is fit they seek and give thanks for together. 3. And many works which they do together, it is fit they seek a blessing on together. 4. And the presence of one another in confession, petition, and thanksgiving, doth tend to the increase of their fervour, and warming of their hearts, and engaging them the more to duty, and against sin; and is needful on the grounds laid down before. Nay, it is a kind of family schism, in such cases, to separate from one another, and to pray in secret only; as it is church schism to separate from the church assemblies, and to pray in families only. Nature and grace delight in unity, and abhor division. And the light of nature and grace engageth us to do as much of the work of God in unity, and concord, and communion as we can.

Arg. XX. If before the giving of the law to Moses, God was worshipped in families by his own appointment, and this appointment be not yet reversed, then God is to be worshipped in families still. But the antecedent is certain; therefore so is the consequent.

I think no man denieth the first part of the antecedent; that before the flood in the families of the righteous, and after till the establishment of a priesthood, God was worshipped in families or households: it is a greater doubt whether then he had any other public worship. When there were few or no church assemblies that were larger than families, no doubt God was ordinarily worshipped in families. Every ruler of a family then was as a priest to his own family. Cain and Abel offered their own sacrifices; so did Noah, Abraham, and Jacob.

If it be objected, that all this ceased, when the office of the priest was instituted, and so deny the latter part of my antecedent, I reply, 1. Though some make a doubt of it, whether the office of the priesthood was instituted before Aaron's time, I think there is no great doubt to be made of it; seeing we find a priesthood then among other nations, who had it either by the light of nature, or by tradition from the church; and Melchizedec's priesthood (who was a type of Christ) is expressly mentioned. So that though family worship was then the most usual, yet some more public worship there was. 2. After the institution of Aaron's priesthood family-worship continued, as I have proved before; yea, the two sacraments of circumcision and the passover, were celebrated in families by the master of the house; therefore prayer was certainly continued in families. 3. If that part of worship that was afterward performed in synagogues and public assemblies was appropriated to them, that no whit proveth, that the part which agreed to families as such, was transferred to those assemblies. Nay, it is a certain proof that part was left to families still, because we find that the public assemblies never undertook it. We find among them no prayer but church prayer; and not that which was fitted to families as such at all. Nor is there a word of Scripture that speaketh of God's reversing of his command or order for family prayer, or other proper family worship. Therefore it is proved to continue obligatory still.

Had I not been too long already, I should have urged to this end the example of Job, in sacrificing daily for his sons; and of Esther's keeping a fast with her maids, Esth. iv. 16. And Jer. x. 25, "Pour out thy fury on the heathen that know thee not, and on the families that call not on thy name." It is true that by "families" here is meant tribes of people, and by "calling on his name," is meant their worshipping the true God. But yet this is spoken of all tribes without exception, great and small: and tribes in the beginning (as Abraham's, Isaac's, Jacob's, &c.) were confined to families. And the argument holdeth from parity of reason to a proper family: and that calling on God's name is put for his worship, doth more confirm us, because it proveth it to be the most eminent part of worship, or else the whole would not be signified by it; at least no reason can imagine it excluded. So much for the proof of the fourth proposition.

Objections answered

Object. I. Had it been a duty under the gospel to pray in families, we should certainly have found it more expressly required in the Scripture.

Answ. 1. I have already showed you, that it is plainly required in the Scripture: but men must not teach God how to speak, nor oblige him to make all plain to blind, perverted minds. 2. Those things which were plainly revealed in the Old Testament, and the church then held without any contradiction, even from the persecutors of Christ themselves, might well be passed over in the gospel, and taken as supposed, acknowledged things. 3. The general precepts (to "pray alway, – with all prayer, – in all places," &c.) being expressed in the gospel, and the light of nature making particular application of them to families, what need there any more? 4. This reason is apparent why Scripture speaketh of it no more expressly. Before Christ's time the worship of God was less spiritual, and more ceremonial, than afterward it was; and therefore you find ofter mention of circumcision and sacrificing, than of prayer; and yet prayer was still supposed to concur. And after Christ's time on earth, most christian families were disturbed by persecution, and christians sold up all and lived in community: and also the Scripture history was to describe to us the state of the churches, rather than of particular families.

Object. II. Christ himself did not use to pray with his family; as appeareth by the disciples asking him to teach them to pray, and by the silence of the Scripture in this point: therefore it is no duty to us.

Answ. 1. Scripture silence is no proof that Christ did not use it. All things are not written which he did. 2. His teaching them the Lord's prayer, and their desire of a common rule of prayer, might consist with his usual praying with them: at least with his using to pray with them after that, though at first he did not use it. 3. But it is the consequence that I principally deny. (1.) Because Christ did afterwards call his servants to many duties, which he put them not on at first, as sacraments, discipline, preaching, frequenter praying, &c. especially after the coming down of the Holy Ghost. As they understood not many articles of the faith till then, so no wonder if they understood not many duties till then; for Christ would have them thus suddenly instructed and fullier sanctified by a miracle, that their ministry might be more credible, their mission being evidently divine, and they being past the suspicion of forgery and deceit. (2.) And though it is evident that Christ did use to bless the meat, and sing hymns to God with his disciples, Luke xxii. 17, 18; Mark xiv. 22, 23, 26; Matt. xxvi. 27, 28, 30, and therefore it is very probable, prayed with them often, as John xvii.; yet it could not be expected, that he should ordinarily be their mouth in such prayers as they daily needed. His case and ours are exceedingly different. His disciples must daily confess their sins, and be humbled for them, and ask forgiveness; but Christ had none of this to do. They must pray for mortifying grace, and help against sin; but he had no sin to mortify or pray against. They must pray for the Spirit, and the increase of their imperfect graces; but Christ had fulness and perfection. They must pray for many means to these ends, and for help in using them, and a blessing on them, which he had no use for. They must give thanks for pardon and conversion, &c. which Christ had no occasion to give thanks for. So that having a High Priest so much separate from sinners, they had one that prayed for them; but not one fit to join with them as their mouth to God, in ordinary family prayers, such as they needed; as masters must do with their families.

Object. III. God doth not require either vain or abominable prayers; but family prayers are ordinarily vain and abominable; therefore, &c. The minor is proved thus: – The prayers of the wicked are abominable: most families are wicked, or have wicked persons; therefore, &c.

Answ. 1. This is confessedly nothing against the prayers of godly families. 2. The prayers of a godly master are not abominable nor vain, because of the presence of others that are ungodly. Else Christ's prayers and blessings before mentioned should have been vain or abominable, because Judas was there, who was a thief and hypocrite. And the apostles' and all ministers' prayers should be so in all such churches as those of Corinth, Galatia, Ephesus are described to have been. 3. I refer you to my "Method for Peace of Conscience," how far the prayers of the wicked are, or are not abominable. The prayers of the wicked as wicked are abominable; but not as they express their return to God, and repenting of their wickedness. It is not the abominable prayer that God commandeth, but the faithful, penitent prayer. You mistake it, as if the wicked man were not the person commanded to pray; whereas you should rather say, It is not the abominable prayer that is commanded him. He is commanded to pray such prayers as are not abominable; even as Simon Magus, Acts viii. to "repent" and "pray;" and "to seek the Lord while he may be found, and call upon him while he is near, and to forsake his way," &c. Isa. lv. 6, 7. Let the wicked pray thus, and his prayer will not be abominable. The command of praying implieth the command of repenting and departing from his wickedness: for what is it to pray for grace, but to express to God their desires of grace? (It is not to tell God a lie, by saying they desire that which they hate.) Therefore when we exhort them to pray we exhort them to such desires.

Object. IV. Many masters of families cannot pray in their families without a book, and that is unlawful.

Answ. I. If their disability be natural, as an idiot's, they are not fit to rule families; if it be moral and culpable, they are bound to use the means to overcome it; and in the mean time to use a book or form, rather than not to pray in their families at all.

Of the Frequency and Seasons of Family worship

The last part of my work is to speak of the fit time of family worship. 1. Whether it should be every day? 2. Whether twice a day? 3. Whether morning and evening? Answ. 1. Ordinarily it should be every day and twice a day; and the morning and evening are ordinarily the fittest seasons. 2. But extraordinarily some greater duty may intervene, which may for that time disoblige us. And the occasions of some families may make that hour fit to one, which is unfit to another. For brevity I will join all together in the proof.

Arg. I. We are bound to take all fit occasions and opportunities to worship God. Families have daily (morning and evening) such occasions and opportunities; therefore they are bound to take them.

Both major and minor are proved before. Experience proveth that family sins are daily committed, and family mercies daily received, and family necessities daily do occur. And reason tells us, 1. That it is seasonable every morning to give God thanks for the rest of the night past. 2. And to beg direction, protection, and provisions, and blessing for the following day. 3. And that then our minds are freest from weariness and worldly care. And so reason telleth us that the evening is a fit season to give God thanks for the mercies of the day, and to confess the sins of the day, and ask forgiveness, and to pray for rest and protection in the night. As nature and reason tell us how oft a man should eat and drink, and how long he should sleep, and what clothing he should wear; and Scripture need not tell you the particulars: so if Scripture command your prayer in general, God may by providence tell you when and how oft you must pray.

Arg. II. The Lord's prayer directeth us daily to put up such prayers as belong to families; therefore, &c. "Give us this day our daily bread." It runs all in the plural number. And the reason of it will oblige families as well as individual persons.

Arg. III. From 1 Thess. v. 17, "Pray without ceasing; in all things give thanks." Col. iv. 1, 2, "Masters, give to your servants that which is just and equal, knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven. Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving." Col. iii. 17, "Whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus; giving thanks to God and the Father by him." Phil. iv. 6, "Be careful for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." It is easy for a man that is willing to see that less than twice a day doth not answer the command of praying "without ceasing, – continually, – in every thing – whatsoever ye do," &c.; the phrases seeming to go much higher.

Arg. IV. Daniel prayed in his house thrice a day; therefore less than twice under the gospel is to us unreasonable.

Arg. V. 1 Tim. iv. 5, "She that is a widow indeed and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayer night and day." Night and day can be no less than morning and evening. And if you say, this is not family prayer, I answer, 1. It is all kind of prayer belonging to her. 2. And if it commend the less, much more the greater.

Arg. VI. From Luke vi. 14; ii. 37; xviii. 17; Acts xxvi. 7; 1 Thess. iii. 10; 2 Tim. i. 3; Rev. vii. 15; Neh. i. 6; Psal. lxxxviii. 1; Josh. i. 8; Psal. i. 2; which show that night and day Christ himself prayed, and his servants prayed, and meditated, and read the Scripture.

Arg. VII. Deut. vi. 7; xi. 19, it is expressly commanded that parents teach their children the word of God, when they "lie down, and when they rise up;" and the parity of reason, and conjunction of the word and prayer, will prove, that they should also pray with them lying down and rising up.

Arg. VIII. For brevity sake I offer you together, Psal. cxix. 164, David praised God seven times a day; and cxlv. 2, "Every day will I bless thee." Psal. v. 3, "My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer to thee, and will look up: " lix. 16, "I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: " lxxxviii. 13, "In the morning shall my prayer prevent thee: " xcii. 12, "It is good to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises to thy name, O Most High: to show forth thy loving-kindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night: " cxix. 147, 148, "I prevented the dawning of the morning and cried, I hoped in thy word: mine eyes prevent the night watches, that I might meditate on thy word: " cxxx. 6, "My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning, I say more than they that watch for the morning." The priests were to offer "sacrifices" and "thanks to God every morning," 1 Chron. xxiii. 30; Exod. xxx. 7; xxxvi. 3; Lev. vi. 12; 2 Chron. xiii. 11; Ezek. xlvi. 13-15; Amos iv. 4. And christians are a "holy priesthood, to offer up sacrifices to God, acceptable through Jesus Christ," 1 Pet. ii. 5, 9. Expressly saith David, Psal. lv. 17, "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray and cry aloud, and he shall hear my voice." So morning and evening were sacrifices and burnt offerings offered to the Lord; and there is at least equal reason that gospel worship should be as frequent: 1 Chron. xvi. 40; 2 Chron. ii. 4; xiii. 11; xxxi. 3; Ezra iii. 3; 2 Kings xvi. 15; 1 Kings xviii. 29, 36; Ezra ix. 5. And no doubt but they prayed with the sacrifices. Which David intimateth in comparing them, Psal. cxli. 2, "Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense, and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice." And God calleth for prayer and praise as better than sacrifice, Psal. l. 14, 15, 23.

All these I heap together for despatch, which fully show how frequently God's servants have been wont to worship him, and how often God expecteth it. And you will all confess that it is reason that in gospel times of greater light and holiness, we should not come behind them in the times of the law; especially when Christ himself doth pray all night, that had so little need in comparison of us. And you may observe that these scriptures speak of prayer in general, and limit it not to secrecy; and therefore they extend to all prayer, according to opportunity. No reason can limit all these examples to the most secret and least noble sort of prayer. If but two or three are gathered together in his name, Christ is especially among them.

If you say, that by this rule we must as frequently pray in the church assemblies; I answer, the church cannot ordinarily so oft assemble; but when it can be without a great inconvenience, I doubt not but it would be a good work, for many to meet the minister daily for prayer, as in some rich and populous cities they may do.

I have been more tedious on this subject than a holy, hungry christian possibly may think necessary, who needeth not so many arguments to persuade him to feast his soul with God, and to delight himself in the frequent exercises of faith and love; and if I have said less than the other sort of readers shall think necessary, let them know that if they will open their eyes, and recover their appetites, and feel their sins, and observe their daily wants and dangers, and get but a heart that loveth God, these reasons then will seem sufficient to convince them of so sweet, and profitable, and necessary a work; and if they observe the difference between praying and prayerless families, and care for their souls and communion with God, much fewer words than these may serve their turn. It is a dead, and graceless, carnal heart, that must be cured before these men will be well satisfied; a better appetite would help their reason. If God should say in general to all men, You shall eat as oft as will do you good; the sick stomach would say, Once a day, and that but a little, is enough, and as much as God requireth; when another would say, Thrice a day is little enough. A good and healthful heart is a great help, in the expounding of God's word, especially of his general commandments. That which men love not, but are weary of, they will not easily believe to be their duty. The new nature, and holy love, and desires, and experience of a sound believer, do so far make all these reasonings needless to him, that I must confess I have written them principally to convince the carnal hypocrite, and stop the mouths of wrangling enemies.

CHAPTER IV.

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR THE HOLY GOVERNMENT OF FAMILIES

The principal thing requisite to the right governing of families, is the fitness of the governors and the governed thereto, which is spoken of before in the directions for the constitution. But if persons unfit for their relations, have joined themselves together in a family, their first duty is to repent of their former sin and rashness, and presently to turn to God, and seek after that fitness which is necessary to the right discharge of the duties of their several places: and in the governors of families, these three things are of greatest necessity hereunto: I. Authority. II. Skill. III. Holiness and readiness of will.

How to keep up authority

I. Gen. Direct. Let governors maintain their authority in their families. For if once that be lost, and you are despised by those that you should rule, your word will be of no effect with them; you do but ride without a bridle; your power of governing is gone, when your authority is lost. And here you must first understand the nature, use, and extent of your authority; for as your relations are different, to your wife, your children, and your servants, so also is your authority. Your authority over your wife, is but such as is necessary to the order of your family, the safe and prudent management of your affairs, and your comfortable cohabitation. The power of love and complicated interest must do more than magisterial commands. Your authority over your children is much greater; but yet only such as, conjunct with love, is needful to their good education and felicity. Your authority over your servants is to be measured by your contract with them (in these countries where there are no slaves) in order to your service, and the honour of God. In other matters, or to other ends, you have no authority over them. For the maintaining of this your authority observe these following sub-directions.