Manners & Cvstoms of ye Englyshe

YE PUBLIC ITS EXCYTEMENTE ON YE APPEARANCE OF MISS LIND

Saturday, May 5, 1849.

To the Queen's House in the Haymarket to hear Jenny Lind, whom Everybody do call the Swedish Nightingale. Did go with a Pit Ticket, cost me 8s. 6d., which is a mighty Sum of Money to pay for only the Chance of a Seat. Went at 6 p.m., expecting a Crowd, and there a Mob of People already at the Doors, and some did say they had come as early as Five. Got as close as I could to the Pit Entrance, and the Throng increasing; and by-and-by Ladies in their Opera Dresses standing without their Bonnets in the Street. Many of them between the Carriage Wheels and under the Horses' Heads: and methinks I did never see more Carriages together in my Life. At last the Doors open; which I began to fear they never would, and I in with the Press, a most terrible Crush, and the Ladies screaming and their Dresses torn in the Scramble, wherefore I thought it a good Job that my Wife was not with me. With much ado into the Pit, the Way being stopped by a Snob in a green Jockey Coat and Bird's Eye Neckcloth, that the Checktakers would not suffer to pass. The Pit full in a Twinkling, and I fain to stand where I best might, nigh to Fop's Alley: but presently a Lady fainting with the Heat and carried out, which I glad of; I mean that I got her Place. I did never behold so much Company in the House before; and every Box full of Beauties, and hung with yellow Satin Curtains, did show like a brave picture in a Gold Frame; which was very handsome to look round upon while the Musicians were tuning. The Fiddles tuned, and the Overture played, the Curtain up for the Opera; which was the Sonnambula; the Part of Amina acted by Jenny. The moment she came on the Stage, the Audience, Lords, Ladies, and all, upon their Legs, shouting, cheering, waving Hats and Handkerchiefs, and clapping of Hands in white Kid Gloves. But at last they silent, and let the Nightingale sing: and for certain she is a wonderful Singer. It did amaze me to hear how easy and sweetly she do trill and warble the most difficult Passages: and I perceive she hath a rare Ability of Voice. But what did no less astonish me was her Acting, it being as good as her singing; for she did seem to forget herself in her Part, instead of her Part in herself; which is the Mistake of most Opera Singers. To think that she should draw the whole Town in Crowds together to hear her sing a few pretty Sugar-plum Melodies and portray the Grief of a poor Peasant Wench cast off by her Lover! But she do put a Grace and Beauty of her own into the Character and Musique: which I take to be the Mark of a true Genius. She made to sing divers Songs twice over, and called upon the Stage at the End of the Act, and again when the Opera was finished; when, good Lack, to see the Nosegays and Posies flung in Heaps upon the Stage! She must needs get a Mint of Money by her Singing; but she has spent a Deal of it in building Hospitals, and I do wish (Heaven forgive me!) I had all she has given away in Charity.

A PROSPECT OF EXETER HALL. SHOWYNGE A CHRISTIAN GENTLEMAN DENOUNCYNGE YE POPE

Wednesday, May 9, 1849.

Went this Morning to Exeter Hall, where one of the May Meetings that do regularly take Place at this Time of the Season, and serve in Lieu of Concerts and Shows to a Sort of People that call themselves serious. This, one of the Meetings of a Protestant Association, which I had heard much of and did long to go to, expecting to hear some good Argument against the Roman Catholiques. But instead of Argument, I did hear Nothing but Abuse, which do always go in at one Ear and out at the other. No new Point brought forward to confute Popery; but only an Iteration of the Old Charges of Superstition and so forth, urged with no greater Power than mere Strength of Lungs. The Commotions on the Continent last Year laid much Stress on, and the Turmoils in Catholique and Quiet in Protestant States contrasted, as though there had been no Disturbance or Trouble in Prussia or Denmark, or any Tumult or Revolution in Belgium or Portugal. I did note two chief Speakers, whom, on their rising, the Assembly did applaud as if they had been Actors, and to be sure, they ranted more frantically than I did ever see Hicks. Yet at Times they stooped to Drollery in the Height of their Passion, and one of them did make such Sport of the Roman Catholique Religion as would not have been suffered in the Adelphi Theatre. But I do find that some who would not be seen in a Play-House can enjoy their laugh at Exeter Hall. This Orator was a Clergyman of some Kind, for he was called Reverend in the Hand-bill, and dressed in a clerical Habit, but his Eyes and Face blazing with Wrath, did storm like a Madman against the Maynooth Grant and the Pope of Rome; and howled as fierce as a Hyæna. The other a Clergyman too, and looked as much like one, with his sneering angry Visage, and did vehemently harangue, crying bitterly out on some of my Lords and the Members of the Commons' House that had voted for Popish Endowment. His Oration a medley of Sarcasm, Invective, and Buffoonery, and wound up with a Flourish of Patriotism and Loyalty. The Speeches received with Applause and Laughter, but also with Interruptions and crying to turn Somebody out. The Speakers on a Platform, whereon they bounced backwards and forwards, having Rails in Front as if to hinder them from breaking loose on the Audience. Behind them a Crowd of dainty smooth Gentlemen in Black, with white Neckerchiefs, and to see how demure they looked, as if Butter would not melt in their Mouths! In the Body of the Hall a goodly Number of Heads, but by far the Most of them in Bonnets. The two chief Speeches lasted an Hour and a Half each, and the Chairman leaving his Seat, I away, my Head aching through the Raving. Such Violence, methinks, do only prove that there are other Bigots besides Papists; and is the worst Means of enforcing any Truth; for they that speak in Anger and Passion are commonly concluded by indifferent People to be in the Wrong. The Society complaining of want of Funds, which I do not wonder at, for I fear me the Subscribers have but few Catholiques converted for their Money.

YE EXHYBITYON AT YE ROYAL ACADEMYE

Monday, May 21, 1849.

This Morning with my Wife to the Exhibition of the Royal Academy, where 611 Paintings, besides Miniatures and other Drawings, and Pieces of Sculpture, making altogether 1341 Works of Art, and methought it would be strange if there were not some Masterpiece among so many. The Whole to be seen for the small Sum of 1s., and the Catalogue cost me 1s. more, but should have known all the old Hands as well without it. To see how easy it is to distinguish them by their Styles after two or three Years' Experience: as one by his Dogs, that might be expected to bark, or to talk rather, with their Looks and Ways like Human Creatures. Then another by his Colouring that do resemble a Mash of sweet Omelet with all the Colours of the Rainbow and many more; which methinks is a strange Fancy; but now he hath a Picture out of his trite Fashion; done after the Manner of the antique Masters, and a good Imitation. A third also by his unadorned Beauties with their glowing Eyes and Cheeks and plump swarthy flesh, and a fourth by his never-ending Perspectives, and Gulfs of Darkness, and Mountains of Blue. But this year I do mark fewer of these old Acquaintances, and more of the Works of younger Men, wherein there is less of Knack and more of Freshness, which I do esteem a hopeful Sign. The Exhibition at large I judge to be a very excellent middling one, many Pictures good in their Kind, but that Kind in very few Cases high. The Silks and Satins mostly painted to Admiration, and the Figures copied carefully from the Model; but this do appear too plainly; and the Action generally too much like a Scene in a Play. In the historical Pictures the Characters dressed strictly in the Fashion of their Time, but in the best of them a Lack of Fancy and Imagination, though seeming original through a certain Quaintness that do smack of Church-Window Saints and illuminated Missals. The Landscapes better, and a most brave Morning on the Lake of Zurich by one that hath the right Stuff in him, and some sweet melancholy Shades and solemn Groves, and a Solitary Pool that did please me mightily, and my Wife do say that the Artist should be Commissioner of Woods and Forests. Some Pictures of common Life pretty enough, and a little Crowd before a pleasant sentimental one called the Duet. One or two droll ones, as the Slide, and Drawing for the Militia, did make me laugh; but to think how many Woodcuts as good as the best you can get in a little Miscellany published weekly, cost you 3d. Fewer silly Portraits of Gentlemen and Ladies than formerly, which is a Comfort. The Pictures fairly enough hung, and strange to see a dead Lion between Monsieur Guizot and Prince Metternich, as though to represent absolute Monarchy, and seemed meant for a Joke. Some Pictures in the Octagon Room, which could not tell whether they were good or no for Want of Light, and the same with all the Sculptures in their Lumber Hole. This is how we treat Art in this Country, and with Paintings presented to the Nation buried in a Vault, but sorry Encouragement is given to Genius; and no Wonder that Artists do Pictures for Furniture to sell to the great and small Vulgar, and so produce the Kind of Works that make up the greater Part of the Exhibition.

A VIEW OF EPSOM DOWNES ON YE DERBYE DAYE

Wednesday, May 23, 1849. – Derby Day.

To Epsom Downs to the Great Derby Race. In a Barouche, with a Party, over Vauxhall Bridge, and by Clapham, carrying Hampers with Store of every Thing needful for a brave Lunch. The Windows and House Fronts crowded, and School-Boys mounted on Walls and Gates, and they and the Urchins in the Street shouting, as though we were going to the Races for their Amusement. But Lack! to see the pretty smart Damsels come out to gaze at us, or peeping behind Blinds and Curtains, all in high Glee, and good Humour do wonderfully heighten Beauty, as I do tell my Wife. The Road through Trees and Orchards, and the Sun shining through the young Leaves and on the Horse-Chestnut Blossoms, and the Flowers looking bright like the Lasses. So we on, till into the Ruck, which is the Jam of Carriages caused by the Stoppage at the Turnpike: and did banter each other and them about us. Across the Course to the Hill, the Admission cost us £1. Good Lack! what a Crowd of People collected to see which out of six-and-twenty Horses should run the fastest, and what a Medley of Vans, Omnibusses, and Taxed Carts on either Side of the Course with the People in Front of them, and the Grand Stand crowded with Heads, plenty as Blackberries, and seeming like a huge Mass of them. A Throng of Carriages about us, whereon young handsome rakish-looking Gallants with Mustaches and Cigars. Here and there, in open Coaches, Ladies in lilac and blue Dresses, and pink Bonnets, and gay Ribbons, all Manner of Colours, looking, with the parti-coloured Flags over the Booths, mighty lively. Presently a Bell rung and the Course cleared, but then to see an unlucky Dog running to get out, and the Mob yelling at him, and the poor Dog in his Fright rushing straight on like mad! Then the Horses with the motley Jockies on them prancing up and down before the Grand Stand, to show their Paces to the Folks in the Betting Ring. At last, they taken to the Post, and so started with much Cheering, and came easy round Tattenham Corner; but presently away in good earnest, like Shot! The Chief Struggle between the Flying Dutchman and Hotspur, but Yellow-Cap did win by half a Length. The Winner declared by his Number, hung out in Front of the Grand Stand, and to see the Flock of Carrier Pigeons sent up to bear away the News; but Mr. Wagstaffe do say they were Nothing to the Pigeons left behind. The Race run in three Minutes, but to think of the Money lost and won in that little Time! My Lord Eglinton and the Public, as I hear, do gain much, and the Ring and Rogues do lose, which I am glad of. After the Race to a brave Lunch; but the Gipsy Women and Children did come and beg Morsels out of our Plates, which in the Midst of all the Luxury was a sorry Sight. Then about the Course to see the Company and the Flinging at Snuff-Boxes, and the Thimble-Rig, and some playing at Roulette and Hazard, but the Police did seize and break several of the Tables, and take away the Stakes. Great Sport returning Home, with the Shouting for the Winner, and trumpeting on Horns, and tossing of Snuff-Boxes and Toys to the pretty Lasses at the Windows.

A PROSPECT OF GREENWICH FAIR

Tuesday, May 29, 1849. – Whit-Tuesday.

Down the River with Browne to Greenwich to view the Fair. To the Park, where young Fellows and Hoydens at Archery, Donkey Riding, playing at Kiss-in-the-Ring, and running down the Hill, romping, tripping, and tumbling over Head and Heels, with Shouting, Screaming, and Laughter. Then down to the Fair, made in a narrow Space in the Town by a Couple of Rows of Booths and Sweet-Meat and Toy-Stalls, with Raree Shows at the farther End, and Swings and Roundabouts on the Outside. The Passage most insufferably crammed; and we having to force our Way between Walls hung with Dolls and gilt Ginger-Bread. The Stalls and Booths crowded also, and the Tobacco Smoke rising from the Drinking Places like a Fog. Young Prentice Blades and Shop-Boys pushing about with large Masquerade Noses, and did entertain themselves more than me. But the chief Amusement of these Roysterers and the frolicksome Wenches do seem to be scratching People behind, with a Scraper, which is a notched Disk of Wood, that turns on an Axle in a Mortise, with a Handle some six Inches long, and being dragged down a Man's Back, do make him believe that his Coat is torn, as I thought mine was, when first served so, which did trouble me. With this Noise of continual Tearing, and the Squeaking of Tin Trumpets, and blowing of Whistles, and half-a-dozen different Bands playing as many Tunes, is altogether made a most discordant Musique; and the Showmen bellowing to the Spectators to walk up, do increase the Babel. Strange to see the Lads and Lasses, heaved up and down, over and under, in the Swings, and to think what Pleasure they can take in such a Motion, which methinks a Physician might prescribe in Lieu of a Sea Voyage. With much Ado, to Richardson's Show, where a Tragedy, a Comic Song and a Pantomime all in Half an Hour, and the Tragedy accompanied on Whistles and Penny Trumpets by the Audience. But the best of the Fun outside, between the Performances, with the Beef-Eaters' Band playing, and the Show-Girls in their Spangles and Paint, dancing, and the Clowns grimacing and flinging Summersets, and the Robber Chief standing in a brave Posture in the Corner. Store of Fat Ladies, Wonderful Pigs, Giants and Dwarfs to see, and Conjurors in Plenty, specially in the Crowd, conjuring Handkerchiefs out of Pockets. In the Evening to the great Dancing-Booth, which lighted up and hung with variegated Lamps, was, to be sure, a pretty fine Sight. But the Company uproarious through Drink; and yet the Dancing without Liveliness, being mostly that rogueish Chin-and-Shoulder French Dance, gone heavily through. Here again that perpetual Scraping, and they who sold the Scrapers, did cry, "All the Fun of the Fair for 2d."; which was true. Home by the Railway Train, wherein the tipsy Passengers bawling and singing the whole of the Way. Methinks these Fairs do cause a Concourse of Rogues and bad Characters; and the more good cheap Concerts abound, and Museums and Exhibitions are opened to the Public, the less will the People frequent such Places as Greenwich Fair.

KENSYNGTON GARDENS WITH YE BANDE PLAYINGE THERE

Friday, June 1, 1849.

In the Afternoon to Kensington Gardens, where a Band of the Guards do play on this Day, and also on Monday throughout the Season, and draw together a great Crowd of Fashionable Folks. The Tunes played mostly Polkas and Waltzes, though now and then a Piece of Musique of a better Sort; but the Musique little more than an Excuse for a Number of People assembling to see and be seen. There all the World and his Wife; and she in all her Finery. The Day very fair, and the Sun shining gloriously, and the bright coloured Silks and Muslins at a Distance between the Trees, did make a mighty pleasant Picture. But I got as near as I could to gaze upon the Beauties, and am afraid that I did look too hard at some; but they mostly smiled, and methinks they do not trick themselves out so bravely to discourage Observation. To see them pacing to and fro in such smart Attire, with their shewy pink, and green, and Forget-me-not Blue Parasols, I could fancy they were the London Fashions for June come out a walking. But many on Seats with tall well-looking Gallants posted beside them, or bending down to converse with them with vast Attention and Politeness, whereat they seeming mightily pleased. Others standing in Groups here and there under the Shade, and a great Throng of them round about the Musicians; but all walking to and fro between the Tunes to show themselves. Many of the Army among the Crowd, and strange, to compare them and others of our Gentry, in Air and Manner, with one or two dingy Foreigners with their stubbly Beards and ill-favoured Looks. The little fashionable Children by the side of their Mammas elegant enough to see; but overdressed in their Velvet and Plaid Tunics and Plumes of Feathers, and their Ways too mincing and dainty, and looking as though they had stepped from out a Band-Box. Methinks they do seem brought up to think too much of their Outsides, and to look on Display and Show as the Business of their Lives, which is a silly Schooling. I did mark some of their Mothers, old enough to know better, bedizened like the young Beauties, but looking sour and glum, and plainly ill at ease in their Pride and Vanity. But it divert me much to compare the delicate Children with some Charity-School Urchins on the other Side of the Wall that did anger the Park Keeper by mocking him. I doubt me that the young Leatherbreeches be not the happier as long as they can get a Bellyful of Victuals. The Company doubtless enjoying themselves after their Fashion, but in general looking marvellous grave; and strange to shut my Eyes between the Tunes and to hear Nothing but the Rustling of Dresses and a Murmur of Voices as they did walk up and down. It is wonderful how we English do go through our Amusements after the Manner of a solemn Ceremony. Yet do the people of Fashion in Kensington Gardens make an exceeding rare Show; and I do only wish that there were no Reverse of the Picture to be seen among us. But their Finery do afford Employment to Work-People, and I do thank them for parading themselves for my Amusement, and the Officers of the Guards for treating the Town to Musique, and so giving Occasion to such a fine Spectacle.

HYGHEST COURT OF LAW IN YE KYNGDOM. YE LORDS HEARYNG APPEALS

Thursday, June 7, 1849.

Up, and to the House of Lords, where a Committee of Privileges touching a disputed Peerage, but I did only go for a Sight of the Inside of the House, well worth seeing; and the Carving, and Gilding, and Blazoning, a rich Feast to the Eye. There present none but my Lord Brougham and my Lord Campbell, and three or four other Lords, but a smaller Muster do often serve for a Court of Appeal; for their Lordships do trust all their Law Business to the Law-Lords' Hands. Counsel speaking at the Bar of the House, and the Clerks of the House before them at the Table, all in their Wigs very stately, but my Lords lolling on the Benches, free and easy, they only having the Right to make themselves at Home, yet droll to see the Officers of the House forced to stand, but some of them leaning against the Stems of the gilt Candlesticks, fast asleep on their Legs. Did think I should go to sleep too, if I stayed much longer, and about to depart; but glad I did not; for presently the Counsel made an End, and then my Lord Brougham examining a Witness was almost the best Sport that I ever had in my Life. The Witness, one of the Attornies for the Claimant of the Title, and Lord Brougham suspecting some Trickery in the Case, and good Lack! how he did bait and ferret him to draw it out, asking the most peremptory Questions, and sometimes a second before the first could be answered, firking with Impatience like one smarting with Stinging Nettles: which was great Mirth. It did well-nigh cause me to laugh outright, and commit a Breach of Privilege, to hear him in a Fume, echo the Witness's Answers, and cry Eh? What! How! Why? and Wherefore? and demand how he could do this, or came not to do the other, and how was that, and so forth, and then set his Memory right, next made a short Speech, then give a little Evidence of his own, and again go back to the Examination. It seemed that the Pretender to the Peerage had been helped with Money to maintain his Suit by certain Persons, and my Lord did strive to worm out of the Lawyer their End therein: but to no Purpose; for he had met with his Match; so forced to content himself with a Quip on the Chances of the Witness's Client. Then another Witness examined; a Chirurgeon, whom Lord Brougham did make merry with for his jolly good-natured Looks, and did jest upon concerning his Vocation: and the other did bandy Jokes with my Lord, and gave him as good as he brought. Methinks such Bantering is strange of a Peer, and one that hath been Lord Chancellor and used to sit on the Woolsack, or anywhere else but the Box of an Omnibus. But strange, how sober a Speech in summing up the Evidence my Lord did make after all; and no Doubt he can be reasonable and quiet when he pleases. Save a few words from Lord Campbell, not a Syllable spoke but my Lord Brougham; wherefore methinks he must have been thoroughly happy, having had nigh all the Talk to himself. But the highest Court of Law in the Realm numbering so few, put me much in mind of the Army in Bombastes Furioso.

THE FLOWER SHOWE AT CHYSYK GARDENS

Saturday, June 9, 1849.

My Wife holding me to my Promise to take her to the Chiswick Flower Show, and I could not break it; for certainly the poor Wretch do drudge in the House like a Slave; and so often as I go out for Pleasure myself, methinks it were well to give her a Treat now and then, to ease my Conscience, and keep her quiet also. So took her, though our two Tickets together came to 10s., and we thither in an Omnibus, and the Fare doubled on the Occasion, instead of 1s. cost me 2s. more, which made me mad. A rare Sight, nigh the Gardens, to look out on the Line of Carriages behind us, and methought how mean and paltry it seemed to be riding in an Omnibus; and was in some Trouble lest any of our acquaintance should be in the Carriages, and see us 'light. At the Passage to the Gardens beset by Fellows with Shoe-Brushes and Clothes-Brushes, importunate to brush my Coat and Boots, that were clean enough, but only to earn 4d. or 6d. Our Tickets delivered, and we into the Grounds with a Stream of Company, and followed them and our Ears to a Band of Musique, the Horse Guards playing hard by a Grove of Rhododendrons in full Bloom, and a Mob of Beauties round about them more blooming still. Heard a Medley-Piece of Scraps of most of the Operas that I knew; which was better Musique than I expected. Then to the Tents, where the Prize-Flowers are shown, on high Stands as long as a moderate-sized Barn: and there a pretty Display of Orchids, Azaleas, Cactuses, Pelargoniums, and Heaths, very rare and curious, and a few choice Roses; but I expected to see Roses as big as Cabbages. Many of the Flowers finely variegated, and giving forth a Perfume sweeter than Atkinson his shop. Strange how to some of the Pelargoniums were given the names of Grisi, Alboni, Mario, and other Opera Singers: and Mr. Wagstaffe do say it is Musique in a Flower-Pot. After seeing the Flowers, to stroll about the Walks and among the Trees, and view the Flowers without Stalks, which I do admire most of all, and a brave show they were, drest out in their gayest, and smiling as if resolved to look as pretty as they could; and looking all the brighter for the Sun shining without a Cloud to be seen: whereby out of Pain for my Wife's pink Bonnet, which, if spoiled by the Rain usual at this Show, had been £2, 2s. gone. The Bands from Time to Time beat a March about the Garden; when to see the fine Ladies and Gentlemen follow at the Soldiers' Heels, natural as ragged Street-Children! At last all played together, and ended with God Save the Queen; when the Flowers wheeled away. But the Company remaining, some sitting on Benches to make a Lane, and the Rest of the Multitude walking up and down to be seen, and the Beauties showing off their Graces, which I did inspect from Head to Foot. My Wife beginning to admire a certain Satin; so knowing what this signified, away, and home to a Leg of Mutton; thinking of the State of the Nation, which should not be so mighty gloomy to judge of it by Chiswick Flower Show, and wondering how much all the Finery there cost, and where all the Money could have come from.